FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Messaging advice
Messaging advice
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"Hello everyone. Kind of new to this, had a couple of breaks away from here out of frustration. Having some issues with messaging people, struggle knowing what to say. Ladies and couples, what kind of things would you look for in an initial message from a single male that would pique your interest and make you think that person might be worth talking to? I understand as a single male, I'm kind of the bottom of the food chain round here so I'd like some advice/constructive criticism to help me stand out. Thanks in advance." A polite message showing you've read their profile and maybe pick up on something in the profile. That said most look at the profile and pictures before even bothering reading a message op  | |||
"Hello everyone. Kind of new to this, had a couple of breaks away from here out of frustration. Having some issues with messaging people, struggle knowing what to say. Ladies and couples, what kind of things would you look for in an initial message from a single male that would pique your interest and make you think that person might be worth talking to? I understand as a single male, I'm kind of the bottom of the food chain round here so I'd like some advice/constructive criticism to help me stand out. Thanks in advance." A well thought out and polite message picking up on something in someone's profile is key. Personally I would be put off by your profile pic but that's just my opinion | |||
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I have mostly chatted to people from initial interaction in the forums
Lots of people look at your profile before even opening the message so that needs to attract them enough to open your message
I don't bother even opening messages where the avatar is just a cock and just jump straight to delete but it is my personal preference | |||
"I don't read messages, I'm only interested in what the face looks like. Personally, I'd just delete any message with a dick as a profile pic though." Yea I understand that, don't want to have my face as my profile pic if I'm honest. Discretion reasons really. I always include one with a message. | |||
"I don't read messages, I'm only interested in what the face looks like. Personally, I'd just delete any message with a dick as a profile pic though. Yea I understand that, don't want to have my face as my profile pic if I'm honest. Discretion reasons really. I always include one with a message." We can understand that, but why not a torso or other type of photo instead of your cock? | |||
"We can understand that, but why not a torso or other type of photo instead of your cock?" I'm going to take some more pics now and sort my profile out. Thanks for the advice. | |||
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"Fantastic replies, thanks everyone. Duly noted. Enjoy your weekends "That profile pic is worse than a cock don't want to show your face have a pic of your body without the cock on show to me that profile pic shows your not serious and just after a shag I would delete your message without even looking at any words | |||
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"Spelling mistakes they not taking an exam everyone can read even predicted text lol that changes what you put x" It is only my opinion - for me, I like someone who is able to string a sentence together. Others are happy with poor communication. All is good because we are all different. | |||
"Spelling mistakes they not taking an exam everyone can read even predicted text lol that changes what you put x It is only my opinion - for me, I like someone who is able to string a sentence together. Others are happy with poor communication. All is good because we are all different." Handy tip! Sometimes when you type stuff you may see some of your words highlighted in red or in some other way. Basically, computers, phones and tablets sometimes have free spell checkers built in. Then you can either right-click to get a list of suggested words or just tap on the word on your phone or tablet to do the same. As someone who didn't do to badly at school I still have to check my spelling every now and then and it literally takes a second. Or two!
*I had about three spelling mistakes as I was writing this. Can you find them! | |||
"Spelling mistakes they not taking an exam everyone can read even predicted text lol that changes what you put x It is only my opinion - for me, I like someone who is able to string a sentence together. Others are happy with poor communication. All is good because we are all different." spelling mistakes has nothing to do with stringing a sentence together the may be a great conservationist but lousy at spelling lol xx by the way not having a dig xx | |||
"Spelling mistakes they not taking an exam everyone can read even predicted text lol that changes what you put x It is only my opinion - for me, I like someone who is able to string a sentence together. Others are happy with poor communication. All is good because we are all different. Handy tip! Sometimes when you type stuff you may see some of your words highlighted in red or in some other way. Basically, computers, phones and tablets sometimes have free spell checkers built in. Then you can either right-click to get a list of suggested words or just tap on the word on your phone or tablet to do the same. As someone who didn't do to badly at school I still have to check my spelling every now and then and it literally takes a second. Or two!
*I had about three spelling mistakes as I was writing this. Can you find them! "You used the wrong version of 'to/too' when talking about how you did in school  | |||
"Hello everyone. Kind of new to this, had a couple of breaks away from here out of frustration. Having some issues with messaging people, struggle knowing what to say. Ladies and couples, what kind of things would you look for in an initial message from a single male that would pique your interest and make you think that person might be worth talking to? I understand as a single male, I'm kind of the bottom of the food chain round here so I'd like some advice/constructive criticism to help me stand out. Thanks in advance." I am in the same boat but you will get notes here good luck | |||
"My advise... spelling mistakes!" *advice
Don't you hate it when that happens  | |||
"Creative, ego free messages are the way to go. As others have said, read profiles, send a message that is relevant to what you know about that person from their profile. Remember, the person you're messaging is here with their own agenda, even though you may be sending the first message, and that's your agenda, you want to tune into theirs, making what you want second to theirs. What is it people say... You get what you put in. Put in the effort, and people will make the effort in return, even if it'll mostly be rejections, the curse of the single guy that you can't escape. And yeah, photos, start over mate. Again, creativity, everyone know you have a cock, and what they look like. Showing yours as your avatar screams ego, 'look at my cock!' Which as others have said is a huge turn off. I don't have my face pic on my public snaps, when we're friends you get to see it or if we start chatting. All the others show a little bit about me, or at least that was how I approached my pics. But I'd say my overall advice, check your ego at the door when you log on to Fab, expect nothing from everyone, accept that you can't be everything to everyone, and don't put pressure on your membership here to provide you with sexual gratification, that's a happy coincidence to chatting with like minded people. Good luck. " This is the best advice we've read, just about sums it up. Just remember to put as much effort into your profile, as that will get noticed before the message will, so you need to be consistent with both. | |||
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"Tried all these and still coming up short..." Unfortunately can't offer profile advice as you haven't asked for it, you'll need to check previous advice given to others, but the clues are all there. If you see this site as a way to engage with others in this lifestyle then you can make it work, if like a lot you see it as a way to get an easy fuck then you will require more luck than substance. | |||
"Tried all these and still coming up short... Unfortunately can't offer profile advice as you haven't asked for it, you'll need to check previous advice given to others, but the clues are all there. If you see this site as a way to engage with others in this lifestyle then you can make it work, if like a lot you see it as a way to get an easy fuck then you will require more luck than substance." Had profile advice and catered accordingly. Plus no I don't see it as a way for an easy fuck, I am interested in the individual I talk to but not quite ready to 100% clubs etc. Just don't understand how you can get anywhere when no one gives you a chance to talk to them. | |||
"Tried all these and still coming up short... Unfortunately can't offer profile advice as you haven't asked for it, you'll need to check previous advice given to others, but the clues are all there. If you see this site as a way to engage with others in this lifestyle then you can make it work, if like a lot you see it as a way to get an easy fuck then you will require more luck than substance. Had profile advice and catered accordingly. Plus no I don't see it as a way for an easy fuck, I am interested in the individual I talk to but not quite ready to 100% clubs etc. Just don't understand how you can get anywhere when no one gives you a chance to talk to them. " | |||
" Ladies and couples, what kind of things would you look for in an initial message from a single male that would pique your interest and make you think that person might be worth talking to? " Maybe someone who dosent need to ask strangers on what to say to them ? or something outlandishly crazy like that  | |||
" Ladies and couples, what kind of things would you look for in an initial message from a single male that would pique your interest and make you think that person might be worth talking to? Maybe someone who dosent need to ask strangers on what to say to them ? or something outlandishly crazy like that "Why should people spend time talking to people who appear to have nothing to offer? Sorry there's a lot of competition on here and I only talk to people I find attractive. | |||
"Tried all these and still coming up short... Unfortunately can't offer profile advice as you haven't asked for it, you'll need to check previous advice given to others, but the clues are all there. If you see this site as a way to engage with others in this lifestyle then you can make it work, if like a lot you see it as a way to get an easy fuck then you will require more luck than substance. Had profile advice and catered accordingly. Plus no I don't see it as a way for an easy fuck, I am interested in the individual I talk to but not quite ready to 100% clubs etc. Just don't understand how you can get anywhere when no one gives you a chance to talk to them. " What do you mean by "talk" exactly? I know a super easy way you can make contact with some people but...not sure if you're quite ready for that... | |||
"Tried all these and still coming up short... Unfortunately can't offer profile advice as you haven't asked for it, you'll need to check previous advice given to others, but the clues are all there. If you see this site as a way to engage with others in this lifestyle then you can make it work, if like a lot you see it as a way to get an easy fuck then you will require more luck than substance. Had profile advice and catered accordingly. Plus no I don't see it as a way for an easy fuck, I am interested in the individual I talk to but not quite ready to 100% clubs etc. Just don't understand how you can get anywhere when no one gives you a chance to talk to them. What do you mean by "talk" exactly? I know a super easy way you can make contact with some people but...not sure if you're quite ready for that..." Talk as in understand the person, the Kwirks and whatnot of them. Likes, dislikes. Go on...? | |||
"Tried all these and still coming up short... Unfortunately can't offer profile advice as you haven't asked for it, you'll need to check previous advice given to others, but the clues are all there. If you see this site as a way to engage with others in this lifestyle then you can make it work, if like a lot you see it as a way to get an easy fuck then you will require more luck than substance. Had profile advice and catered accordingly. Plus no I don't see it as a way for an easy fuck, I am interested in the individual I talk to but not quite ready to 100% clubs etc. Just don't understand how you can get anywhere when no one gives you a chance to talk to them. What do you mean by "talk" exactly? I know a super easy way you can make contact with some people but...not sure if you're quite ready for that... Talk as in understand the person, the Kwirks and whatnot of them. Likes, dislikes. Go on...? " How are you with talking to people in real life e.g. down the pub, at work or even your mates? | |||
"Tried all these and still coming up short... Unfortunately can't offer profile advice as you haven't asked for it, you'll need to check previous advice given to others, but the clues are all there. If you see this site as a way to engage with others in this lifestyle then you can make it work, if like a lot you see it as a way to get an easy fuck then you will require more luck than substance. Had profile advice and catered accordingly. Plus no I don't see it as a way for an easy fuck, I am interested in the individual I talk to but not quite ready to 100% clubs etc. Just don't understand how you can get anywhere when no one gives you a chance to talk to them. " I'm a middle aged married bisexual man. If I can do it, so can you. | |||
" Maybe someone who dosent need to ask strangers on what to say to them ? or something outlandishly crazy like that "Think you misread the title, bud. Was asking a question to receive an answer, not passive aggression. Hoping for general advice, maybe see where I've been going wrong. | |||
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"If a man needs to ask how to talk to a woman you are in serious trouble." Strangely enough, this is a common problem. | |||
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" Maybe someone who dosent need to ask strangers on what to say to them ? or something outlandishly crazy like that
Think you misread the title, bud. Was asking a question to receive an answer, not passive aggression. Hoping for general advice, maybe see where I've been going wrong. "No, I think you're missing my point. My answer wasn't "passive aggression" if you think about it. What I'm saying is you are not going to get far asking people what YOU should say to THEM. It's like going to a job interview and asking your prospective employer what answers would they like you to say. You're an individual, act like one and not ask how to be one because asking someone else how to be one means you aren't one. | |||
" Maybe someone who dosent need to ask strangers on what to say to them ? or something outlandishly crazy like that
Think you misread the title, bud. Was asking a question to receive an answer, not passive aggression. Hoping for general advice, maybe see where I've been going wrong.
No, I think you're missing my point.
My answer wasn't "passive aggression" if you think about it. What I'm saying is you are not going to get far asking people what YOU should say to THEM. It's like going to a job interview and asking your prospective employer what answers would they like you to say.
You're an individual, act like one and not ask how to be one because asking someone else how to be one means you aren't one."You know there are places you can go to get help with job interview techniques, right? Heck, if you're really lucky, some employers even give you feedback on where you can improve your chances of having a successful interview! | |||
"My advise... spelling mistakes! *advice
Don't you hate it when that happens "Ooooh, correcting a spelling pedant for mixing her up her nouns and verbs...you're either going to be blocked or be dragged behind a bush and have your brains fucked out for being such a irresistible grammar nerd | |||
