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single guy profile guide
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It seems like every day or two there is another guy asking for the same advice on here. What's wrong with their
profile and why aren't they fighting fanny off with a stick.
Having seen the following "wall-o-text" on a profile here and saved it, I thought I'd add to it a bit and post this
for a bit of online peer re_iew - aka you folk rip it to shreds and/or offer suggestions to add to it.
Hopefully the final thing can be used to help some people sell themselves better.
I'm going to be spliting it into a few seperate posts to make it a bit easier to read. I'm not kidding when I say
"wall-o-text".
Let us know what you think folks! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Your Profile
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Try to give people some idea of what you are looking for with a bit more detail that "Sex, lol!" Tell us what you are
good at and what you want to try. Give us a little bit of an idea of your personality, but unless you are called Leo
Tolstoy I'd advise you don't go overboard with detail. Keep it short, sweet and to the point. And for God's sake,
whatever you do, don't put whining messages up when you haven't met anyone after being on here for a week.
We accept that not everyone wants to be fucking their English teacher (or maybe you do?) and that spelling and
grammar aren't essential skills when getting laid (although it worked for Byron, but take some care in getting things
like there/they're/their correct.
Likewise txt spk isn't really needed, as you have slightly more than 160 charecters to work with on a profile. I
haven't proofread this, so I'm sure I've made a few mistakes myself. But I don't care as I'm not writing this to get
laid myself.
Oh and those "Sidney University" messages don't mean a damn thing. You take the risk putting your pictures in the
public domain, if someone nicks then then tough. Likewise, if they get used for research in a uni how on earth will
you know? I'm willing to have a qualified lawyer or solisitor tell me otherwise but you don't have a leg to stand on
legally speaking. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Pictures
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Try to put a range of different pics on your profile that show you off to your best. If your only pic makes you look
like an escaped paedophile you are not going to get much interest. Use a recent holiday snap where you are relaxed,
in good lighting and happy for any face pics.
If you are taking your own pics, take a load and only put up decent ones. If you didn't get a decent pic, take some
more until you do get decent pics.
Make sure you have decent lighting suitable for your complexion. If your skin is painfully white don't use the flash
for close ups!!! On the other hand if you are very dark skinned then you may need the flash. Try it with and without
and see which works the best.
Use your computer to get the pics the right way round (Head goes to the top) and check if they are in focus - if the
picture is that crap that it takes someone 5 mins to work out what they are looking at then It's not worth putting up
- this is especially important with camera phones as they are more likely to produce a grainy poor quality pic,
especially in bad lighting.
By all means take pics of your cock to put on your profile. But be aware that while some people like that, some don't
and you might be putting off potential partners. I'd suggest you put in your "Friends Only" private gallery and only
take a 1 or 2 pics from different angles if you really have to have it on your profile.
Speaking from a couple's point of _iew, a few well taken pics showing off different _iews of your body are far more
appealing than 30 blurry pics of what could be a penis or a bratwurst. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Contacting People
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So, you've got a nice profile, some decent pics that show you off to your best. Time to start messaging everything
with a vagina on the site and start getting some action in. Yes?
No.
While you might be willing to shag anything with a pulse, not everyone feels the same. By all means look at every
profile out there, but look at what they want. If they are a 23 year old athletic girl looking for guys aged 18 to 30
then sadly they are unlikely to be interested in a 55 year old guy, no matter how good your Winston Churchill
impression is.
Basically, be realistic, accept that the stunning girls are less likely to want you if you are old enough to be their
grandfather - of course their profile might say that is exactally what they are looking for, but you won't know
unless you read the profile and SEE WHAT THEY WANT!!!
You've found someone you like the look of and think you have a chance.
Great!
Send then a short message saying you'd like to get in touch and show that you've read their profile. But don't write
War and Peace, chances are they won't read all of it before they hit delete. You need to give them a hook to make
them want to look at your profile and know more about you. I don't know what sort of level of messages single girls
get. But as a couple it was a slow day if we got less than 30 messages a day. You have to find some way of standing
out from the crowd to make then reply back.
Even if the reply back is a simple "Not interested", be gracious in defeat! Sending abuse at them won't get you into
their knickers. But coming over as a decent human being and sending a "cheers for letting me know, happy hunting!"
might get you remembered.
As you've probably noticed. A lot of people will just delete your message without replying, that's their preogative!
There are many reason why we delete without replying:-
- we've got an inbox full of messages and in the time it takes to write a quick "thanks, but no thanks" message we
can get another 2-3 replies. Then when we get the "But Why!!" message back and reply to that another 2-3 messages pop
up. It turns a quick few minutes job into a chore.
- you blatantly don't fit what they are looking for (age/looks/willie-size/etc.). It's the online version of the
scruffy old man in the pub hitting on the 18 year old barmaid. And your message getting deleted is the online
equivalent of of her disgusted "ugh! no way!".
- Another personal reason that they don't want to vocalise - could be skin colour related, size related etc.
- some other reason that I haven't listed here...
If they do just delete, don't go whining about it. It's not going to win you any friends. Don't put the "people who
have manners reply to messages" comment in your message either. For a lot of folk on this site that is their fastest
way of deciding to delete your message without replying.
So someone has read your message, but they haven't replied. Do you send another message to find out why not? No, you
wait. How do you know they haven't had to nip away from the pc? We had a guy leave several increasingly arsey
messages because we'd read the first one but not replied within a few minutes. Tried to reply back to apologize but
he'd blocked us. We'd had a neighbour knock on the door, then dinner was delivered. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
well done, the intent is a great one.
I did one once, I wouldn't again.
some like it, some don't & some feel patronised by it.
what I wrote then, I don't actually agree with a lot of it, as my experience on here now tells me different.
well done again tho, your intent was an honourable one |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why is it in couplets?"
No idea tbh. I edited in MS notepad, guess the formatting is just different.
Now you've got me wanting to re-write it in Iambic Pentameter. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Why is it in couplets?
No idea tbh. I edited in MS notepad, guess the formatting is just different.
Now you've got me wanting to re-write it in Iambic Pentameter."
If you get it to rhyme I'll give you a kiss.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why is it in couplets?
No idea tbh. I edited in MS notepad, guess the formatting is just different.
Now you've got me wanting to re-write it in Iambic Pentameter.
If you get it to rhyme I'll give you a kiss. "
Here goes...
So guys, your profile is sh*t,
here, I've written a guide on how to do it.
You write about yourself,
add nice pics, maybe taken by an elf?
search for people you'd like to f*ck,
send a message, but don't write a book.
hopefully they'll reply, but if they don't and delete it,
take the hint, they don't mean offence - but beat it. |
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"Why is it in couplets?
No idea tbh. I edited in MS notepad, guess the formatting is just different.
Now you've got me wanting to re-write it in Iambic Pentameter.
If you get it to rhyme I'll give you a kiss.
Here goes...
So guys, your profile is sh*t,
here, I've written a guide on how to do it.
You write about yourself,
add nice pics, maybe taken by an elf?
search for people you'd like to f*ck,
send a message, but don't write a book.
hopefully they'll reply, but if they don't and delete it,
take the hint, they don't mean offence - but beat it."
Brilliant, you can have more than a kiss  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think that anyone new on here be them male female or couple should read that and take note! The swinging scene would be a much better place if people made the effort youre saying they should!
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It was a great post and the intent was well meaning and thank you for that. The advice is totally spot on.
I dont think we should promote generic single guy profiles though.
The reason for this is that when I look at a single guy profile, I form a pretty good indication of whether I feel that person will be suitable for me. If his profile is clear and well written, if it catches my interest with something a bit different, if he tells me what he's looking for, if he shows some humour in his profile, then Im likely to send a message to him.
If his profile says, I will fill this in later, but mainly im into fucking as many women as I can - that short profile again gives me an indication of the type of guy he is, and I will not message him.
If the kind members of Fab help single guys with their profiles and they all become uniform, it will be more difficult for me to spot the guys that wont be suitable for me.
Of course I will probably tell by any messages that are sent back etc, but that wastes a bit of my time and also sets me up for abuse if after a message I dont like the guy and tell him so.
And of course, in the event that I couldnt get a true picture of the guy via messages, I wouldnt want to go meeting a guy because he has a well worded and interesting profile, and find out when I meet him that he's a complete dick.
At least when guys ask for advice via the forums, everyone can give advice and they can choose to take on that advice or not. If they dont and leave their profile as it is, then obviously they are happy after all with how they portray themselves. If they make the changes they find useful, and not just change things in the hope that the posters who have commented will meet them, then hopefully that will make a positive difference for them.
I just think if guys followed a uniform profile setting up procedure, it would make it more difficult to sift out the wheat from the chaff
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think there'd become a "uniform" single guy profile. For example running spell check over his profile text would make it readable, but even if he were to do this and write a bit more than two lines it would be easy to tell whether a guy was imaginative/not, intelligent/not, passionate/not or even had a personality/not.
Likewise a pic can be taken in good lighting, well angled etc, but a thin man will still look thin, a fat man will still look fat. A 60 year old man will not look 25 or vice versa... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It was a great post and the intent was well meaning and thank you for that. The advice is totally spot on.
I dont think we should promote generic single guy profiles though.
"
Cheers Iconic, I see exactly what you are saying. But as Mr Lick has said, it's unlikely that there would be a "uniform" profile as different likes/dislikes would see to that, not to mention proficiency with spelling/grammar.
A guy who contacted us a while ago, I tried to help him with his profile as it was a mess - non-punctuated, also a stream of conciousness rather than a legible profile. I even re-wrote it for him, drawing out his likes, dislikes etc. He took it all on board and then produced another barely legible mess. The annoying thing was that he did seem to be genuine and was honestly unaware how effective his profile was at putting people off.
Spell checking only goes so far:-
It cant tell if there using the write words for dee context off watt day are trying two say = all that passed the spell checker!
On the photo front: I don't think I'm too bad looking (ego!) not a Brad Pitt, but managed to avoid most of the branches on the ugly tree on the way down. I've got pics taken of me where I look how I feel I do on a regular basis and then I've got a couple of pics taken with a cam-phone in a dark room from a bad angle where I look like I'd happily murder you and eat your liver. There are good looking (hopefully) guys on here using pics like that last one as their profile pic. It can't help their chances.
Anyway, not all users will bother to put the effort in. You'll still get folk putting on a one line profile and complaining. But at least with some help then surely getting the right people out playing is good for everyone? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think that anyone new on here be them male female or couple should read that and take note! The swinging scene would be a much better place if people made the effort youre saying they should!
"
Agree with that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think the advice was spot on.....but pointless...
Have said before, and I'll say again, they don't post for advice, they post for attention! The know that their profile is one of thousands so they post a "sympathy" topic, knowing full well that at the very least 90% of the people who read their post will at the very least, glance at their profile. Especially if they threaten to leave the site! Most of them are too bone idle to send the hundreds of mails and normal forum posts it takes to get "noticed" and posting a "woe is me" subject on the forum is a quick way to get some attention.
The advice you submit is perfectly sound, but these guys (and girls) can't type more than one line on their profile......there is no way they're going to be bothered to read all that, much less act on such!
Only way to end these posts is to ignore them. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"well done, the intent is a great one.
I did one once, I wouldn't again.
some like it, some don't & some feel patronised by it.
what I wrote then, I don't actually agree with a lot of it, as my experience on here now tells me different.
well done again tho, your intent was an honourable one"
I think I was one of those who was most against it.... (i love ya really _iew)... and every time i see one of these "guides" they do make me cringe for several reasons....
although well intended... I still think you give people a "generic template" which causes various issues...
1) the ones who "get it" already understand all that lot.... and the ones who don't care wont read it anyway.... so yes it could be seen as being patronising and condescending...
2) by giving all that... you just told every person who wants to be a timewaster the tricks and tools to work around.... which means a few unintended consequences:
a) you just made it harder for the single guys who truely understand and get it to get meets... because now how do they stand out as much as they do now??
b) you just make it harder for couples because now how do you work out who are the ones who truely get it... from those who timewaster but followed all the hints and tips that you have given out.....
c) it becomes a vicious circle.. because more people will then complain about being taken in my timewasters... or more couples wont bother with singles because they have have there "hands burnt" so to speak....
3) people have talked about "generic profiles" and to a point I think they are correct... maximum results with the minimum effort.... whatever happened to the way most of us had to learn....
good old trial and error!
learning from your own mistakes!
dusting yourself down and sayin that won't happen again!
people are far to quick to spoonfeed advice... sometimes real life is the best teacher...
if there is a sign on a bench and it says "wet paint" on it... and then you dab a finger... don't complain if it has paint on it!
I really wish that as good intentioned these are meant.. they would go away, and people would also stop trying to give advice in the "help me with my profile" threads...
time, patience, common sense... the site gives you all the tools to make it work... from how to get started thru to looking for party invites... go out there and read and research, and if that is too much.... no one can help you anyway....
I know it sounds harsh... I know I always sound like "the bad guy" in these threads.... but when you write these threads you only think of one side of the coin... and it would be remiss if someone didn't show the other side....... |
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To be fair on the OP it is a rough guide that is a great template for single gents, however if people choose to follow the advice there profile should still be unique not 'uniformed' as such. As it doesn't tell you What to write but basically a checklist of what should be done. The writers personality or lack off, will still be evident.
However if gents truely needed the advice there is 100's of these posts (many not so well written) that say the same things. Its nice to see new peoples opinions on old matters and It is what the forums are for.
Basically gents if you want to impress, be your self and follow the Advice given and be patient. You may never get a meet or you may get loads, either way this is just a site surely it should be a bit of fun not Everything to you, so don't get upset if not one metaphorical fish bites your bait as this is but a pond and the whole world off the internet is a sea... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Jesus! That sounds like hard work, In my humble opinion you'd be better off lurking in town!
Trust me when I say if you're just looking for an easy fuck then you'll find actually going out and looking for it will serve you better.
You're more likely to get a booty call from plebty of fish if you must look online. |
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"Jesus! That sounds like hard work, In my humble opinion you'd be better off lurking in town!
Trust me when I say if you're just looking for an easy fuck then you'll find actually going out and looking for it will serve you better.
You're more likely to get a booty call from plebty of fish if you must look online."
Then why are you here?  |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
Just a bit of fun and somewhere to send single guys to when they post on the forum that they could do with some advice. Although a generic one would be a bit sad for us who use the profiles to filter out the no-hopers, it must be better than just putting 'lkng fr a fck'. |
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