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By *wo-Good OP Couple
over a year ago
South London |
My husband and I are new to fab, and I'm finding it quite difficult turning people down after they have sent us a face pic on request. I always feel bad, my husband says just be honest and explain that you don't find them attractive. However I babble for a few messages then try to let them down gently but this has back fired with a rude response. Any tips on nice ways of telling people no. |
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It's a difficult one, you could say they are not your type and leave it at that. I think members here are used to the harshness of the site and you can't just meet them to please them. There will be times you are not another members type, that's how it is on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hear you, I used to be the same. Now I know it really is best to be honest. I think it's maybe wording that counts. Maybe not say you don't find them attractive. Nobody likes to hear that. But something along the lines of they seem lovely but are not for you? If they aren't secure enough to take that then they probably shouldn't be swinging and you shouldn't feel guilty about that x |
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"My husband and I are new to fab, and I'm finding it quite difficult turning people down after they have sent us a face pic on request. I always feel bad, my husband says just be honest and explain that you don't find them attractive. However I babble for a few messages then try to let them down gently but this has back fired with a rude response. Any tips on nice ways of telling people no."
You don't need to explain. A brief "thank you for your nice photo but we're not compatible" is all that's needed. If you get a rude or abusive reponse report and block...Don't respond.
Babbling on as you put it gives false hope and just makes people feel as if they've been led on.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Immediate reply....
"Sorry not for us"
Does the trick for us, enough time wasted on dreamers and non swingers on here and carrying on chatting to people who didn't fancy us would be ridiculous and a further waste of time, don't unnessacarily waste other people's time is our advice xx  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah as Nicecouple said, it's probably the continued messages after the pic that are causing the issue. They probably think they've passed the first hurdle, only to the find you're not interested. They are probably thinking that your just time wasters etc. Honesty is definitely best - and even that honest response is still more than some give before instant blocking! Something along the lines of 'Thanks but don't think you're what we're looking for' should be fine! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people will always be rude no matter how gently you turn them down. If you send a polite "thanks but no thanks" you're already doing more than most - if someone replies with abuse, it just confirms you made the right choice  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My husband and I are new to fab, and I'm finding it quite difficult turning people down after they have sent us a face pic on request. I always feel bad, my husband says just be honest and explain that you don't find them attractive. However I babble for a few messages then try to let them down gently but this has back fired with a rude response. Any tips on nice ways of telling people no."
put on your profile write up ' ugly people need not apply ,you know who you are ' that will sort it
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's absolutely no need to feel guilty or be rude.
I just say 'Thanks but not what I'm looking for right now but happy hunting and good luck!'
Some people are downright rude but I just block and delete if they demand to know why I don't want to fuck them.
if people clearly haven't read my profile and just say 'fuck now' and have no pics then I don't bother replying at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people will always be rude no matter how gently you turn them down. If you send a polite "thanks but no thanks" you're already doing more than most - if someone replies with abuse, it just confirms you made the right choice "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My husband and I are new to fab, and I'm finding it quite difficult turning people down after they have sent us a face pic on request. I always feel bad, my husband says just be honest and explain that you don't find them attractive. However I babble for a few messages then try to let them down gently but this has back fired with a rude response. Any tips on nice ways of telling people no."
I just send them the "holy shit" emoji 
And block  |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
i blocked the one guy i didn't fancy after i'd been chatting to him for weeks, didn't know what to say to him coz it's not socially acceptable to tell someone you find them ugly.
after that i never chatted to a guy unless i saw his face first (and i liked it).
then i practised being 'rude' on the forums, using such words as fugly, munter, etc. to make unattractive a valid trait that is acceptable to use socially. coz there's nothing to be ashamed of if you don't find a person physically attractive, even if they have the loveliest personality ever.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i blocked the one guy i didn't fancy after i'd been chatting to him for weeks, didn't know what to say to him coz it's not socially acceptable to tell someone you find them ugly.
after that i never chatted to a guy unless i saw his face first (and i liked it).
then i practised being 'rude' on the forums, using such words as fugly, munter, etc. to make unattractive a valid trait that is acceptable to use socially. coz there's nothing to be ashamed of if you don't find a person physically attractive, even if they have the loveliest personality ever.
"
Phew. It was just coz I'm fugly.
I was worried I'd scared you off with my bike pump and frog fetish. |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"i blocked the one guy i didn't fancy after i'd been chatting to him for weeks, didn't know what to say to him coz it's not socially acceptable to tell someone you find them ugly.
after that i never chatted to a guy unless i saw his face first (and i liked it).
then i practised being 'rude' on the forums, using such words as fugly, munter, etc. to make unattractive a valid trait that is acceptable to use socially. coz there's nothing to be ashamed of if you don't find a person physically attractive, even if they have the loveliest personality ever.
Phew. It was just coz I'm fugly.
I was worried I'd scared you off with my bike pump and frog fetish. "
i've never blocked you but that did make me laugh...
until i got an image in my head of a frog being blown up by a bike pump, aw god no... now i'm thinking of that monkey that fucked a dead frog that i saw on youtube...youtube has some fucked up vids btw. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My husband and I are new to fab, and I'm finding it quite difficult turning people down after they have sent us a face pic on request. I always feel bad, my husband says just be honest and explain that you don't find them attractive. However I babble for a few messages then try to let them down gently but this has back fired with a rude response. Any tips on nice ways of telling people no."
OK. You've made your point  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i blocked the one guy i didn't fancy after i'd been chatting to him for weeks, didn't know what to say to him coz it's not socially acceptable to tell someone you find them ugly.
after that i never chatted to a guy unless i saw his face first (and i liked it).
then i practised being 'rude' on the forums, using such words as fugly, munter, etc. to make unattractive a valid trait that is acceptable to use socially. coz there's nothing to be ashamed of if you don't find a person physically attractive, even if they have the loveliest personality ever.
Phew. It was just coz I'm fugly.
I was worried I'd scared you off with my bike pump and frog fetish.
i've never blocked you but that did make me laugh...
until i got an image in my head of a frog being blown up by a bike pump, aw god no... now i'm thinking of that monkey that fucked a dead frog that i saw on youtube...youtube has some fucked up vids btw."
Oh don't tell them you hadn't blocked me. It spoils the joke |
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By *wo-Good OP Couple
over a year ago
South London |
"My husband and I are new to fab, and I'm finding it quite difficult turning people down after they have sent us a face pic on request. I always feel bad, my husband says just be honest and explain that you don't find them attractive. However I babble for a few messages then try to let them down gently but this has back fired with a rude response. Any tips on nice ways of telling people no.
OK. You've made your point "
Damn you found us on the forums as well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't like words like ugly or incompatible as they seem too objective, like the problem is their problem. I prefer a little light hearted "sorry but you're not my cup of tea". The reason why you're turning them down has nothing to do with them. It's only about you and what you're looking for. |
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Paul 