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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm slightly hesitant to post this so please be constructive. I'd always hoped to have one or two regular fab friends (fwb/fbs, whatever you want to call them). With one exception, who turned out to be married, I've never got to more than 2-3 meets before they make their excuses and move on. I wondered how easy others had found it to cultivate regular friendships? I've met about 20 guys over eight months, many of them lovely at the time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well as a couple this might not be the perspective you're looking for : we're open to friendship with people, but in over 10 years of swinging it's never really worked out. |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
Perhaps I can give you the opposite perspective? In the past I've met people who were looking for a regular thing and inevitably after 3 or 4 meets they would start to become a bit clingy, or say things that made me wonder if they were after more than a no strings relationship. And so I ended it before it got messy. Is there any possibility they are getting this vibe from you? |
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I've had a fwb for about 4 years but don't see her as much these days. I've chatted with the same person on here for about the same. I've not met anyone regular or local as a friend and I'd quite like that on some ways and in other ways my head says don't blur boundaries |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
Its just luck. Over the many yeas I partook of this lifestyle the ones that ended up friends who I regularly met were the last ones I expected would. Even then, I only see one or 2 now, and there can be months between meets. Just have fun with no expectations. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been on and off here a few times over the years and this is the first time I've clicked with someone on the right level for a FWB type thing.. it's not that I haven't got on with people, but some give off the really looking for a relationship vibe, sometimes its an availability thing and, tbh, sometimes the sex isn't that interesting.
I think it's tough to find someone who's on the same level in enough ways for it to work out |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for the responses. It's reassuring to hear that others do find it rare to click with people at that level. Re 'clingy', I'm clear about what I'm looking for here and it's not a relationship or to pin anyone down, I do wonder tho' whether others have projected their fears regarding that onto me on occasion. |
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I had a FWB for the last six years. He was so lovely and we were really good together. Connected on every level imaginable. He wasn't married but did have a gf (met her after we had met)
She found out about our 'contact' recently (2nd time) and he's now off the scene. I'm actually partly devastated and partly relieved. I miss him so much though ... the texts, the interest in me and me in him , the sharing our day to day stuff. Hard to be without him in my life ... I'm hoping he will come back  |
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It's often down to luck I think- was fortunate to have a long term fb for about 18 months. We were both happy for nsa sort of exclusiveness inasmuch as we would only play with others at clubs.Neither of us were particularly interested in solo one offs as we both agreed it would be highly unlikely they would be better sexually than that which we had.
Just my tuppeny worth! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've developed varyng degrees of relationships with swingers, from good friends to regular playmates, occasional playmates to one offs, some continue to be part of our swinging lives some have drifted away or we have, some people find others and totally fall for one person/couple and totally rely on them for company, play and friendship and exclusively see them, not sure this is particularly healthy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We've developed varyng degrees of relationships with swingers, from good friends to regular playmates, occasional playmates to one offs, some continue to be part of our swinging lives some have drifted away or we have, some people find others and totally fall for one person/couple and totally rely on them for company, play and friendship and exclusively see them, not sure this is particularly healthy "
Yes we have the same thoughts on your last point. |
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I have 2 regular guys I meet one was my 2nd meet on site afternoon joined a year past octobor the 2nd I met a year past March.
However I have met with the thot this might b a regular thing and the guys involved either more interested in how many notches they can have on their bed post or their was no real. Attraction there. Suppose iv been lucky. Both guy meet other people but that's what the site is about. Problem.for us women I think is there are too.many cute guys to choose from! !  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are many levels to look at this on. I tend to simply call them friends...just happen to have met them on fab. I currently have one friend I see regularly for lunch....and less regularly for fun. We are planning to holiday together tho. We both know it is strictly no strings.
I'm still friends with another lady I met on fab getting on for six years back. Our relationship has fluctuated from occasional "booty calls" to spending 3 out of 4 (average) weekends together for a period of about 18 months. Probably see each other about once a month now....not always for naughties. (They both know each other).
Another long term I'm now more of a "family friend" (according to her daughters...but don't ask). We do still occasionally have fun too. |
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Most of my meets are what I would call FWBs 2 of which I've been meeting regular for all of the almost 6 years I've been on the site. I'm afraid I can't really tell you what the magic formula is beyond saying that in both dynamics we're both of similar mindsets and have great sex together |
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By *MaleMan
over a year ago
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"I'm slightly hesitant to post this so please be constructive. I'd always hoped to have one or two regular fab friends (fwb/fbs, whatever you want to call them). With one exception, who turned out to be married, I've never got to more than 2-3 meets before they make their excuses and move on. I wondered how easy others had found it to cultivate regular friendships? I've met about 20 guys over eight months, many of them lovely at the time."
Whenever seeing or seen someone a number of times and the time to move on comes I've always respected that and them of me. It's part of, the very essence of swinging.
Occasionally you might meet meet someone who wants the precisely same as you be it regular long term or regular sort term with the right level or social/sexual or just sexual arrangements.
If and when you do and it can sometimes feel all too comfortable, expectant, exclusive in contrast to what your here for 'swinging'.
As for people being secretly attached and having to end friendships for connected reasons I've no clue as I'm single. I can guess why of course   |
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"Well as a couple this might not be the perspective you're looking for : we're open to friendship with people, but in over 10 years of swinging it's never really worked out. "
We have made friends for life on here, but you have to choose well. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Not seeing what makes you think I'm looking for exclusive Amale. Until recently I specifically stated in my profile that I wasn't interested in exclusive having been pressed by a couple of people I'd met on here. Ideally I had thought a couple of regular fbs and the odd boundary pushing experiment would be ideal, but it sounds from the responses that it can be rare to gel to that extent with fab contacts. I think those of us in our forties also have significant other pulls in our life: children, exes, aging parents and demanding jobs that also take up significant time, often at weekends. I live in hope. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well as a couple this might not be the perspective you're looking for : we're open to friendship with people, but in over 10 years of swinging it's never really worked out.
We have made friends for life on here, but you have to choose well. "
Meh, sounds like hard work. We've already chosen each other.
We rub people up the wrong way eventually, or vice versa. It's amazing we get along with each other |
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"Not seeing what makes you think I'm looking for exclusive Amale. Until recently I specifically stated in my profile that I wasn't interested in exclusive having been pressed by a couple of people I'd met on here. Ideally I had thought a couple of regular fbs and the odd boundary pushing experiment would be ideal, but it sounds from the responses that it can be rare to gel to that extent with fab contacts. I think those of us in our forties also have significant other pulls in our life: children, exes, aging parents and demanding jobs that also take up significant time, often at weekends. I live in hope."
It's certainly time that prevents me from enjoying swinging as much as I'd like. There are other more important and urgent demands - that's life. Hope springs eternal  |
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