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confidence after baby
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So my partner and I have just become parents, and although not ready to swing yet, she is having trouble with her confidence on sexual attractiveness. What hasn't helped us is the bladder infection and the stitches which has stopped us getting too intimate. Part of me wants to suggest a day in kestrels or BGHS help her ego but am worried she'd think I was trying to force her back to swinging prematurely.
Does anyone have any advice to help boost her confidence? |
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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago
Wherever the party is! |
"So my partner and I have just become parents, and although not ready to swing yet, she is having trouble with her confidence on sexual attractiveness. What hasn't helped us is the bladder infection and the stitches which has stopped us getting too intimate. Part of me wants to suggest a day in kestrels or BGHS help her ego but am worried she'd think I was trying to force her back to swinging prematurely.
Does anyone have any advice to help boost her confidence?"
Hi there!
Here's a handy trick to find out when your partner is ready to start swinging again. Listen really carefully and when she says "Honey I really fancy getting back into swinging" then there's a good chance that she may want to start swinging again. Obviously this doesn't work well if she's a liar or you don't talk to each other other about personal stuff but this advice should work for most healthy relationships.
Hope this helps!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So my partner and I have just become parents, and although not ready to swing yet, she is having trouble with her confidence on sexual attractiveness. What hasn't helped us is the bladder infection and the stitches which has stopped us getting too intimate. Part of me wants to suggest a day in kestrels or BGHS help her ego but am worried she'd think I was trying to force her back to swinging prematurely.
Does anyone have any advice to help boost her confidence?"
Hey let her body heal first ffs, sometimes it takes longer than six weeks! The body issues are just easier to focus on, I'd be likely to suggest her blocks are also psychological. Esp. if it's your first!
I would advise against visiting spas if she has active UTIs or sore stitches. It is relaxing for the healthy but a very harsh environment if you're not on top form (risk of dehydration and risk of infection a concern in your case). |
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"So my partner and I have just become parents, and although not ready to swing yet, she is having trouble with her confidence on sexual attractiveness. What hasn't helped us is the bladder infection and the stitches which has stopped us getting too intimate. Part of me wants to suggest a day in kestrels or BGHS help her ego but am worried she'd think I was trying to force her back to swinging prematurely.
Does anyone have any advice to help boost her confidence?"
First thing you need to do before even thinking about swinging again is invest some time showing your partner how sexual attractive she is to you and building on the relationship the pair of you have and the changes the baby makes to that relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Guys thanks for the advice but at which point did I actually say I/we wanted to get back into swinging? I suggest you read my op before judging me.
I asked for advice on helping build her confidence NOT asking how to get her swinging again, strange as it sounds I'm not ready to get back on the scene either, I just hate hearing her feeling down about her post baby body, no matter how much reassurances I give her. |
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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago
Wherever the party is! |
"Guys thanks for the advice but at which point did I actually say I/we wanted to get back into swinging? I suggest you read my op before judging me.
I asked for advice on helping build her confidence NOT asking how to get her swinging again, strange as it sounds I'm not ready to get back on the scene either, I just hate hearing her feeling down about her post baby body, no matter how much reassurances I give her. "
My apologies. I totally misunderstood.
So what were you planning to do at kestrels or BGHS then?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So my partner and I have just become parents, and although not ready to swing yet, she is having trouble with her confidence on sexual attractiveness. What hasn't helped us is the bladder infection and the stitches which has stopped us getting too intimate. Part of me wants to suggest a day in kestrels or BGHS help her ego but am worried she'd think I was trying to force her back to swinging prematurely.
Does anyone have any advice to help boost her confidence?
Hey let her body heal first ffs, sometimes it takes longer than six weeks! The body issues are just easier to focus on, I'd be likely to suggest her blocks are also psychological. Esp. if it's your first!
I would advise against visiting spas if she has active UTIs or sore stitches. It is relaxing for the healthy but a very harsh environment if you're not on top form (risk of dehydration and risk of infection a concern in your case)."
Yeah, don't go to a spa. Any open wound can easily get an infection from a spa. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Guys thanks for the advice but at which point did I actually say I/we wanted to get back into swinging? I suggest you read my op before judging me.
I asked for advice on helping build her confidence NOT asking how to get her swinging again, strange as it sounds I'm not ready to get back on the scene either, I just hate hearing her feeling down about her post baby body, no matter how much reassurances I give her.
My apologies. I totally misunderstood.
So what were you planning to do at kestrels or BGHS then? "
I know when I feel low about my looks, being checked out by strangers cheers me up it doesn't however mean I'm going to have sex with them.
If I was looking at swinging I would have more likely said I would suggest taking her to abfab or hellfire. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just give her lots of hugs and kisses and tell her she's still as beautiful just keep reassuring her and congratulations "
Thank you great advice. The baby is a real cutie too. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So my partner and I have just become parents, and although not ready to swing yet, she is having trouble with her confidence on sexual attractiveness. What hasn't helped us is the bladder infection and the stitches which has stopped us getting too intimate. Part of me wants to suggest a day in kestrels or BGHS help her ego but am worried she'd think I was trying to force her back to swinging prematurely.
Does anyone have any advice to help boost her confidence?
Hey let her body heal first ffs, sometimes it takes longer than six weeks! The body issues are just easier to focus on, I'd be likely to suggest her blocks are also psychological. Esp. if it's your first!
I would advise against visiting spas if she has active UTIs or sore stitches. It is relaxing for the healthy but a very harsh environment if you're not on top form (risk of dehydration and risk of infection a concern in your case).
Yeah, don't go to a spa. Any open wound can easily get an infection from a spa."
A point I didn't think of.  |
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It may take a long time don't forget her bond to the child is stronger than anything and she may perceive swinging as being at odds with that, you need to be patient not force the timescale and let her tell you when and if she is ready.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive not read all the posts but lack of confidence is not an easy one.. as sometimes even with all the reassurance in the world.. you can still feel unconfident and anxious...
Id not worry about getting back into swinging right now.. that may come back in time.. or it may not.
Help your partner as much as you can with the baby... run her a bath... pamper her.. have the baby so she can sleep.. sounds obvious. Enjoy each other and your new baby x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ive not read all the posts but lack of confidence is not an easy one.. as sometimes even with all the reassurance in the world.. you can still feel unconfident and anxious...
Id not worry about getting back into swinging right now.. that may come back in time.. or it may not.
Help your partner as much as you can with the baby... run her a bath... pamper her.. have the baby so she can sleep.. sounds obvious. Enjoy each other and your new baby x "
It may sound obvious but it's not always easy to see. Neither of us are in a rush to get back to swinging as I've already said, all I have asked for is advice on building her confidence. Which you have kindly given. Appreciated |
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By *W ChapMan
over a year ago
Swindon |
"So my partner and I have just become parents, and although not ready to swing yet, she is having trouble with her confidence on sexual attractiveness. What hasn't helped us is the bladder infection and the stitches which has stopped us getting too intimate. Part of me wants to suggest a day in kestrels or BGHS help her ego but am worried she'd think I was trying to force her back to swinging prematurely.
Does anyone have any advice to help boost her confidence?"
You've failed to mention that she has nothing to worry about etc etc, which I'm sure is true....you've just mentioned what you want which sounds a little selfish to me.....also posting personal info about infections seems a little off to me......but good luck to you both, enjoy being parents. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So my partner and I have just become parents, and although not ready to swing yet, she is having trouble with her confidence on sexual attractiveness. What hasn't helped us is the bladder infection and the stitches which has stopped us getting too intimate. Part of me wants to suggest a day in kestrels or BGHS help her ego but am worried she'd think I was trying to force her back to swinging prematurely.
Does anyone have any advice to help boost her confidence?
You've failed to mention that she has nothing to worry about etc etc, which I'm sure is true....you've just mentioned what you want which sounds a little selfish to me.....also posting personal info about infections seems a little off to me......but good luck to you both, enjoy being parents. "
Mainly because I'm speaking from my point of view. I try not to speak for my oh as she has her own voice, I also asked for advice for me not advice for her/us. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not sure how old the baby is but you have sleepless nights and baby blues. Im a sexual person but it took me nine months to feel confident again"
That's all I want for her is to be confident again, it is very early days but I know it's a worry for her as she has expressed this to me. All advice is welcome (judging however isnt) |
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My advice would be that she is probably exhausted. If stitches are still a problem she is probably very recently delivered or needs to see her doctor if they're still giving her a problem. I would say to you that you know her best and what makes her feel loved and appreciated, often body confidence follows from your partner expressing that non-sexually.
Take every opportunity you can to let her know that getting her figure back is lower on the priority list than her health and well being, that there is no pressure on her body wise to do anything other than recover from child birth and that you love and fancy her.
Don't forget yourself in all this, men can feel side lined when a baby arrives. If you can, make time for the two of you to just quietly sit together and share a non-sexual cuddle. This might involve you having to take on a couple of extra things to free both of you up but it's not forever.
Sometimes women can feel that the world is making huge demands on them after they've had a baby and it leads to loss of confidence in many ways. If you can help relieve some of that (often self imposed) pressure it might help.
Good luck to you both. Enjoy the baby and rest assured this stage doesn't last forever...teenagers interfere with your sex life more than a baby ever could   |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
her body has created, and carried, a new life. that's why it's the way it is. but it's also the reason why her body is beautiful.
that's how i looked at it anyway. that creating and caring for another person makes you more beautiful that anything.
wish people would stop getting hung up on their looks though and start looking at what really matters about themselves and what really makes them a decent person. everyone loses their looks eventually, if they even had them on the first place. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How recent are we talking here?"
Only two months. As stated earlier swinging isn't something we want to rush back into. I just want her to feel confident again. One issue has been spd she feels stupid because she has a limp. Me I think she's perfect and amazing for giving me my son and now cannot wait for our wedding in 3 weeks time |
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"How recent are we talking here?
Only two months. As stated earlier swinging isn't something we want to rush back into. I just want her to feel confident again. One issue has been spd she feels stupid because she has a limp. Me I think she's perfect and amazing for giving me my son and now cannot wait for our wedding in 3 weeks time"
You didn't mention the wedding. Of course she's worried! Has she got her outfit, does it fit well? |
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By *mf4BxJCouple
over a year ago
edinburgh |
Congratulations!
There no easy answer, just loads of reassurance, patience, no pestering and trust me, at that stage there's nothing sexier than a man cooking dinner and doing the washing up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Show her my body photo. That's me at 51, after 3 children, a hysterectomy and 5 stone overweight.
I have lots of stretch marks and a 12" scar that my stomach hangs over.
I'm having the time of my life, and fuck anyone who doesn't like my body.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So my partner and I have just become parents, and although not ready to swing yet, she is having trouble with her confidence on sexual attractiveness. What hasn't helped us is the bladder infection and the stitches which has stopped us getting too intimate. Part of me wants to suggest a day in kestrels or BGHS help her ego but am worried she'd think I was trying to force her back to swinging prematurely.
Does anyone have any advice to help boost her confidence?"
.
Having a baby throws a ladies hormones into the stratosphere which in turn drops labido and low labido makes you think you will be less attractive. The baby body is the most attractive thing a girl can have after all it has given something so precious, but a new mum does t see it like that straight away they worry there husband won't see it the Same.. Just be patient and tell her how beautiful and clever she is she will get her confidence back when her hormones settle down. Good luck and enjoy your family |
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"How recent are we talking here?
Only two months. As stated earlier swinging isn't something we want to rush back into. I just want her to feel confident again. One issue has been spd she feels stupid because she has a limp. Me I think she's perfect and amazing for giving me my son and now cannot wait for our wedding in 3 weeks time"
2 months her hormones will still be on overload little feets will be all she is about at the minute we didnt get back into it properly until 12 months after although her hormones did come back down alot when the breast feeding stopped Congrats on the wedding too  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How recent are we talking here?
Only two months. As stated earlier swinging isn't something we want to rush back into. I just want her to feel confident again. One issue has been spd she feels stupid because she has a limp. Me I think she's perfect and amazing for giving me my son and now cannot wait for our wedding in 3 weeks time
You didn't mention the wedding. Of course she's worried! Has she got her outfit, does it fit well?"
Everything baring the shoes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So my partner and I have just become parents, and although not ready to swing yet, she is having trouble with her confidence on sexual attractiveness. What hasn't helped us is the bladder infection and the stitches which has stopped us getting too intimate. Part of me wants to suggest a day in kestrels or BGHS help her ego but am worried she'd think I was trying to force her back to swinging prematurely.
Does anyone have any advice to help boost her confidence?"
Your sooooo fortunate first you've had a baby.
Secondly your a woman so you have a body that is already unequivocally beautiful. You've had babies so dispite conventional views and airbrushing you are actually moooore attractive.
Don't believe me check the mum body threads.
You are beautiful and your chaps a lucky guy x |
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"How recent are we talking here?
Only two months. As stated earlier swinging isn't something we want to rush back into. I just want her to feel confident again. One issue has been spd she feels stupid because she has a limp. Me I think she's perfect and amazing for giving me my son and now cannot wait for our wedding in 3 weeks time
You didn't mention the wedding. Of course she's worried! Has she got her outfit, does it fit well?
Everything baring the shoes. "
Has she tried it on recently? Could that be worrying her? The pressure she's under must be immense, I could barely get myself ready to go to the shops less than three months after I'd given birth. Getting married, where all eyes would have been apon me and my photo would be being taken would have caused me a lot of stress. I understand that it must be stressful for you too but you haven't got stitches in your perineum, a baby tummy and stuff leaking from every orifice with three weeks to go before your wedding day when most women want to look and feel their best. Perhaps chat with her about the wedding and any concerns she might have about that.
Good luck. |
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"So my partner and I have just become parents, and although not ready to swing yet, she is having trouble with her confidence on sexual attractiveness. What hasn't helped us is the bladder infection and the stitches which has stopped us getting too intimate. Part of me wants to suggest a day in kestrels or BGHS help her ego but am worried she'd think I was trying to force her back to swinging prematurely.
Does anyone have any advice to help boost her confidence?"
It sounds to me as if you are missing intimacy with her. For goodness sake she has given birth 8 weeks ago, her body needs to heal. No offence but your post sounds really selfish. She may not want to swing for a while as there is a little person now who needs her and you. You need to help her, take the pressure off her, do the cleaning, washing, ironing, cooking etc. Run her baths, tell her you love her, buy her flowers. Just stop being selfish. |
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To be honest if it's a self confidence issues there's not a great deal you can do for her, it's something she needs to discover or in this case the-discover on her own terms. Could take weeks, months or years before she finds herself again in that regard, it also may never fully return. |
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"To be honest if it's a self confidence issues there's not a great deal you can do for her, it's something she needs to discover or in this case the-discover on her own terms. Could take weeks, months or years before she finds herself again in that regard, it also may never fully return."
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"So my partner and I have just become parents, and although not ready to swing yet, she is having trouble with her confidence on sexual attractiveness. What hasn't helped us is the bladder infection and the stitches which has stopped us getting too intimate. Part of me wants to suggest a day in kestrels or BGHS help her ego but am worried she'd think I was trying to force her back to swinging prematurely.
How on earth is he being selfish? Read his original post again and please tell me which part is selfish?
Little bit insensitive speaking about the infection perhaps.....but after the indignity of childbirth and all that involves.
Does anyone have any advice to help boost her confidence?
It sounds to me as if you are missing intimacy with her. For goodness sake she has given birth 8 weeks ago, her body needs to heal. No offence but your post sounds really selfish. She may not want to swing for a while as there is a little person now who needs her and you. You need to help her, take the pressure off her, do the cleaning, washing, ironing, cooking etc. Run her baths, tell her you love her, buy her flowers. Just stop being selfish. "
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By *D40Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
Tell her she's beautiful...
Tell her you want her but there is no rush....
Ask her what you can do for her to help her feel better in herself? Maybe a few hours away from the baby relaxing & being pampered may help.
Definitely don't ask her to go to a swinging club.. cos if you asked me that after all she's just gone through i'd smack you in the crackers
There is sex after childbirth & it will all come soon enough. In the meantime enjoy the most purest innocent love a person can ever receive
Mrs WD40 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How recent are we talking here?
Only two months. As stated earlier swinging isn't something we want to rush back into. I just want her to feel confident again. One issue has been spd she feels stupid because she has a limp. Me I think she's perfect and amazing for giving me my son and now cannot wait for our wedding in 3 weeks time
You didn't mention the wedding. Of course she's worried! Has she got her outfit, does it fit well?
Everything baring the shoes.
Has she tried it on recently? Could that be worrying her? The pressure she's under must be immense, I could barely get myself ready to go to the shops less than three months after I'd given birth. Getting married, where all eyes would have been apon me and my photo would be being taken would have caused me a lot of stress. I understand that it must be stressful for you too but you haven't got stitches in your perineum, a baby tummy and stuff leaking from every orifice with three weeks to go before your wedding day when most women want to look and feel their best. Perhaps chat with her about the wedding and any concerns she might have about that.
Good luck."
OMG it all makes sense now. Yeah what massive pressure being a new mum and a bride rolled up in one!
OP you wrote in a post above that when you feel down about your body it's a confidence boost to be looked at. I'd bet money this is definitely NOT the case for your wife - being looked at equals being assessed/judged... and she's about to make a massive public appearance, at her time of change! I deal with a lot of brides-to-be at work and I can tell you it is a stressful experience for most, and exacerbates any body image issues they may have (most usually groundless IMO,but there is no convincing them). My original advice stands - give her more time, don't add to the pressures.
Also I wanted to say she won't see improvement on the SPD until she's finished breastfeeding, as this keeps ligaments stretchy. Congratulations and good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So my partner and I have just become parents, and although not ready to swing yet, she is having trouble with her confidence on sexual attractiveness. What hasn't helped us is the bladder infection and the stitches which has stopped us getting too intimate. Part of me wants to suggest a day in kestrels or BGHS help her ego but am worried she'd think I was trying to force her back to swinging prematurely.
Does anyone have any advice to help boost her confidence?
It sounds to me as if you are missing intimacy with her. For goodness sake she has given birth 8 weeks ago, her body needs to heal. No offence but your post sounds really selfish. She may not want to swing for a while as there is a little person now who needs her and you. You need to help her, take the pressure off her, do the cleaning, washing, ironing, cooking etc. Run her baths, tell her you love her, buy her flowers. Just stop being selfish. "
So says you! I'm up and at work all day come home take over from her looking after the little fella. The weekends I take on looking after him too I do my fair share of chores. As for me missing the intimacy I'm happy to cuddle up on sofa and am happy to give her as much time as she needs to recover from birth. So don't judge what you don't know |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How recent are we talking here?
Only two months. As stated earlier swinging isn't something we want to rush back into. I just want her to feel confident again. One issue has been spd she feels stupid because she has a limp. Me I think she's perfect and amazing for giving me my son and now cannot wait for our wedding in 3 weeks time
You didn't mention the wedding. Of course she's worried! Has she got her outfit, does it fit well?
Everything baring the shoes.
Has she tried it on recently? Could that be worrying her? The pressure she's under must be immense, I could barely get myself ready to go to the shops less than three months after I'd given birth. Getting married, where all eyes would have been apon me and my photo would be being taken would have caused me a lot of stress. I understand that it must be stressful for you too but you haven't got stitches in your perineum, a baby tummy and stuff leaking from every orifice with three weeks to go before your wedding day when most women want to look and feel their best. Perhaps chat with her about the wedding and any concerns she might have about that.
Good luck.
OMG it all makes sense now. Yeah what massive pressure being a new mum and a bride rolled up in one!
OP you wrote in a post above that when you feel down about your body it's a confidence boost to be looked at. I'd bet money this is definitely NOT the case for your wife - being looked at equals being assessed/judged... and she's about to make a massive public appearance, at her time of change! I deal with a lot of brides-to-be at work and I can tell you it is a stressful experience for most, and exacerbates any body image issues they may have (most usually groundless IMO,but there is no convincing them). My original advice stands - give her more time, don't add to the pressures.
Also I wanted to say she won't see improvement on the SPD until she's finished breastfeeding, as this keeps ligaments stretchy. Congratulations and good luck."
Actually this is one of her biggest thrills in swinging is being checked out. Also she isn't brest feeding |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So my partner and I have just become parents, and although not ready to swing yet, she is having trouble with her confidence on sexual attractiveness. What hasn't helped us is the bladder infection and the stitches which has stopped us getting too intimate. Part of me wants to suggest a day in kestrels or BGHS help her ego but am worried she'd think I was trying to force her back to swinging prematurely.
Does anyone have any advice to help boost her confidence?
Your sooooo fortunate first you've had a baby.
Secondly your a woman so you have a body that is already unequivocally beautiful. You've had babies so dispite conventional views and airbrushing you are actually moooore attractive.
Don't believe me check the mum body threads.
You are beautiful and your chaps a lucky guy x"
Erm, it's the chap your replying too |
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By *mf4BxJCouple
over a year ago
edinburgh |
With a new baby and a wedding on the horizon she will be feeling under a lot of stress.
Give it time but putting herself on show, regardless of how good you think she looks, will be pretty far from her mind right now.
Focus on your baby, your wedding and your new wife. If swinging is to come back into your life it will.
Our youngest is 4 and I'm just feeling ready now.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"With a new baby and a wedding on the horizon she will be feeling under a lot of stress.
Give it time but putting herself on show, regardless of how good you think she looks, will be pretty far from her mind right now.
Focus on your baby, your wedding and your new wife. If swinging is to come back into your life it will.
Our youngest is 4 and I'm just feeling ready now.
"
Thank you, this is very true, as said before swinging is the last thing on our minds I just hate seeing her down. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So my partner and I have just become parents, and although not ready to swing yet, she is having trouble with her confidence on sexual attractiveness. What hasn't helped us is the bladder infection and the stitches which has stopped us getting too intimate. Part of me wants to suggest a day in kestrels or BGHS help her ego but am worried she'd think I was trying to force her back to swinging prematurely.
Does anyone have any advice to help boost her confidence?"
I think all you can do is be a good listener, not go over the top with compliments as they are sometimes not believed even if you mean every word of them. Most importantly I would say positive reinforcement about every thing she does. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So my partner and I have just become parents, and although not ready to swing yet, she is having trouble with her confidence on sexual attractiveness. What hasn't helped us is the bladder infection and the stitches which has stopped us getting too intimate. Part of me wants to suggest a day in kestrels or BGHS help her ego but am worried she'd think I was trying to force her back to swinging prematurely.
Does anyone have any advice to help boost her confidence?
It sounds to me as if you are missing intimacy with her. For goodness sake she has given birth 8 weeks ago, her body needs to heal. No offence but your post sounds really selfish. She may not want to swing for a while as there is a little person now who needs her and you. You need to help her, take the pressure off her, do the cleaning, washing, ironing, cooking etc. Run her baths, tell her you love her, buy her flowers. Just stop being selfish.
So says you! I'm up and at work all day come home take over from her looking after the little fella. The weekends I take on looking after him too I do my fair share of chores. As for me missing the intimacy I'm happy to cuddle up on sofa and am happy to give her as much time as she needs to recover from birth. So don't judge what you don't know "
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Although I have no children, I do have bouts of low self confidence and I find if I treat myself to some new lingerie it helps a LOT.
When I'm hormonal, I like relaxing things like candles, massages, having my hair done, new make up, getting my nails done etc.
So maybe a few of these to boost her a bit will help |
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"So my partner and I have just become parents, and although not ready to swing yet, she is having trouble with her confidence on sexual attractiveness. What hasn't helped us is the bladder infection and the stitches which has stopped us getting too intimate. Part of me wants to suggest a day in kestrels or BGHS help her ego but am worried she'd think I was trying to force her back to swinging prematurely.
Does anyone have any advice to help boost her confidence?
It sounds to me as if you are missing intimacy with her. For goodness sake she has given birth 8 weeks ago, her body needs to heal. No offence but your post sounds really selfish. She may not want to swing for a while as there is a little person now who needs her and you. You need to help her, take the pressure off her, do the cleaning, washing, ironing, cooking etc. Run her baths, tell her you love her, buy her flowers. Just stop being selfish.
So says you! I'm up and at work all day come home take over from her looking after the little fella. The weekends I take on looking after him too I do my fair share of chores. As for me missing the intimacy I'm happy to cuddle up on sofa and am happy to give her as much time as she needs to recover from birth. So don't judge what you don't know "
Hi, you are right I don't know but you have posted to the forum of a sex site for advice, I read your words and comment on them. So what you thinking of visiting BGHS for if you're worried it may make her think you want to go back to swinging? I don't get that. You need to concentrate on being parents, the little fella is the most important thing, your wife may never regain what she had before baby came along. It can take women years to get back to how they were. You seriously need to talk to her but don't be surprised if she thinks you are being selfish. It's only my opinion for what it's worth but you did ask the forum for advice and you will never get from here what you want to hear. Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So my partner and I have just become parents, and although not ready to swing yet, she is having trouble with her confidence on sexual attractiveness. What hasn't helped us is the bladder infection and the stitches which has stopped us getting too intimate. Part of me wants to suggest a day in kestrels or BGHS help her ego but am worried she'd think I was trying to force her back to swinging prematurely.
Does anyone have any advice to help boost her confidence?
It sounds to me as if you are missing intimacy with her. For goodness sake she has given birth 8 weeks ago, her body needs to heal. No offence but your post sounds really selfish. She may not want to swing for a while as there is a little person now who needs her and you. You need to help her, take the pressure off her, do the cleaning, washing, ironing, cooking etc. Run her baths, tell her you love her, buy her flowers. Just stop being selfish.
So says you! I'm up and at work all day come home take over from her looking after the little fella. The weekends I take on looking after him too I do my fair share of chores. As for me missing the intimacy I'm happy to cuddle up on sofa and am happy to give her as much time as she needs to recover from birth. So don't judge what you don't know
Hi, you are right I don't know but you have posted to the forum of a sex site for advice, I read your words and comment on them. So what you thinking of visiting BGHS for if you're worried it may make her think you want to go back to swinging? I don't get that. You need to concentrate on being parents, the little fella is the most important thing, your wife may never regain what she had before baby came along. It can take women years to get back to how they were. You seriously need to talk to her but don't be surprised if she thinks you are being selfish. It's only my opinion for what it's worth but you did ask the forum for advice and you will never get from here what you want to hear. Good luck. "
I don't see the difference of asking on a swingers site or mumsnet on how to help with someone's self esteem I certainly don't see how this is selfish. In fact she was the one who has bought up abfab as opposed to me.
But your allowed your opinion as much as I think you're wrong |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just shower her with affection dude. Show her that you still fancy her just as much if not more now. Lots of kisses and cuddles. It's only my opinion but little things like flowers and shoulder rubs work |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just shower her with affection dude. Show her that you still fancy her just as much if not more now. Lots of kisses and cuddles. It's only my opinion but little things like flowers and shoulder rubs work"
Haha good point but she don't like flowers lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Swinging is probably the last thing on your partners mind with a new baby and wedding imminent. Does she know that you are sharing personal details on here with strangers about a very precious time in your life? Maybe that's playing on her insecurities? |
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She may be feeling guilty about not feeling very sexy and attractive to you so tell her that you are amazed at her strength and how hard she worked to birth your child. Tell her how much you love her and make lots of physical, emotional and practical support that is not sexual.
Let her know you are expecting nothing sexual from her and unlike some men on Fab, your relationship as a family is the single most important thing in your life and you would never consider shagging anyone without her permission.
She may know all that but she may need to hear it out loud and that will do more for her confidence than lots of other things. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"She may be feeling guilty about not feeling very sexy and attractive to you so tell her that you are amazed at her strength and how hard she worked to birth your child. Tell her how much you love her and make lots of physical, emotional and practical support that is not sexual.
Let her know you are expecting nothing sexual from her and unlike some men on Fab, your relationship as a family is the single most important thing in your life and you would never consider shagging anyone without her permission.
She may know all that but she may need to hear it out loud and that will do more for her confidence than lots of other things."
Oh trust me when I say I've said and done all of this. As for swinging alone I have zero interest in playing without her. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Actually this is one of her biggest thrills in swinging is being checked out.
*Was"
Is..... it's only recently she mentioned that she's worried people wouldn't be interested as she limps. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Actually this is one of her biggest thrills in swinging is being checked out.
*Was
Is..... it's only recently she mentioned that she's worried people wouldn't be interested as she limps."
So it may be again. Right now it isn't. How can you support your wife if you can't acknowledge and respect her change and transition?! I don't understand why you are being so defensive. Update your understanding of your wife's needs, she obviously tells you enough about what she feels or is going through. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't bring swinging up ffs, you've just had a baby
Concentrate on your baby and supporting her with all of the emotional and physical turmoil that comes with being a new mum
Sex and swinging are fucking irrelevant when you are trying to work out how to raise a new human with fuck all sleep and not much money
When she's ready for sex she will tell you
When she's ready to swing she'll tell you
If her body is making her sad, cook her healthy meals whilst she's exhausted
Look after the baby so she can go for a walk, see friends or maybe do an exercise class to lift her spirits and help her feel better about herself
Don't give her added pressure by banging on about sex and swinging
When someone is swinging off your nipple end 24/7 you don't need anyone else making demands of your body, unless you ask them to!
Ruby
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"She may be feeling guilty about not feeling very sexy and attractive to you so tell her that you are amazed at her strength and how hard she worked to birth your child. Tell her how much you love her and make lots of physical, emotional and practical support that is not sexual.
Let her know you are expecting nothing sexual from her and unlike some men on Fab, your relationship as a family is the single most important thing in your life and you would never consider shagging anyone without her permission.
She may know all that but she may need to hear it out loud and that will do more for her confidence than lots of other things.
Oh trust me when I say I've said and done all of this. As for swinging alone I have zero interest in playing without her."
Good. Carry on doing it until she feels better about herself, some women never adjust to their post pregnancy body and she may never want to swing again. Be prepared. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So my partner and I have just become parents, and although not ready to swing yet, she is having trouble with her confidence on sexual attractiveness. What hasn't helped us is the bladder infection and the stitches which has stopped us getting too intimate. Part of me wants to suggest a day in kestrels or BGHS help her ego but am worried she'd think I was trying to force her back to swinging prematurely.
Does anyone have any advice to help boost her confidence?"
Get off this site. Concentrate on being new parents, loving each other.
Just reassure her she looks lovely. Treat her to a spa day? Shopping for new clothes? Meals out?
But get off this site...its not worth it. |
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Why oh why do men always try to restart their sex lives so soon after the birth of their baby.
If youd just had a vasectomy and in pain .... it would be the last thing on your mind.Her body has just gone through a major trauma and her hormones are all over the place.
What you could do is be patient ... understanding and let your partner get some rest and recouperation ....
Help with the baby is what she needs not guys pawing at her
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why oh why do men always try to restart their sex lives so soon after the birth of their baby.
If youd just had a vasectomy and in pain .... it would be the last thing on your mind.Her body has just gone through a major trauma and her hormones are all over the place.
What you could do is be patient ... understanding and let your partner get some rest and recouperation ....
Help with the baby is what she needs not guys pawing at her
"
Exactly. That's why I said get off this site for a start! |
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Right now you just need to focus on you two.
If it's your first, it's a huge shock to the system and her hormones are going to be all over the place. She may be tired. Her body will still be recovering.
Men and women get their confidence in different ways, so just because you get a boost from being checked out by other people, doesn't mean she will.
Just give her lots of kisses and cuddles and MAKE SURE SHE HAS TIME FOR HERSELF!
Help out with the baby as much as you can, maybe even send her for a spa day with a massage and some treatments (or if you're short on cash, even just a trip to the salon or a manicure - if she's into that).
Her self-esteem needs to build up from the inside and she needs to feel that there's no pressure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mrs Duo also struggled with confidence once we had our little one. She also had stitches and an infection...we had decided to take a break from swinging anyway to focus on the family and that's what we did for the first 8 months. All I did (from a male perspective) is make sure she knew I was attracted to her. I left her little notes around the house, texted her throughout the day telling her how hot she looked that morning etc. I basically made it my mission to let her know that she was an even sexier, more beautiful and amazing women BECAUSE she had our baby. Eventually she was the one who started saying 'I feel really good today' and then she was the one who suggested getting back on here- hope that helps! |
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"Mrs Duo also struggled with confidence once we had our little one. She also had stitches and an infection...we had decided to take a break from swinging anyway to focus on the family and that's what we did for the first 8 months. All I did (from a male perspective) is make sure she knew I was attracted to her. I left her little notes around the house, texted her throughout the day telling her how hot she looked that morning etc. I basically made it my mission to let her know that she was an even sexier, more beautiful and amazing women BECAUSE she had our baby. Eventually she was the one who started saying 'I feel really good today' and then she was the one who suggested getting back on here- hope that helps! "
Solid advice ...... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why oh why do men always try to restart their sex lives so soon after the birth of their baby.
If youd just had a vasectomy and in pain .... it would be the last thing on your mind.Her body has just gone through a major trauma and her hormones are all over the place.
What you could do is be patient ... understanding and let your partner get some rest and recouperation ....
Help with the baby is what she needs not guys pawing at her
"
Whoa where has the assumption come from? I have only stated that I would like to help build confidence. For the record she would like to restart the sex life just as much if not more than I. |
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"Why oh why do men always try to restart their sex lives so soon after the birth of their baby.
If youd just had a vasectomy and in pain .... it would be the last thing on your mind.Her body has just gone through a major trauma and her hormones are all over the place.
What you could do is be patient ... understanding and let your partner get some rest and recouperation ....
Help with the baby is what she needs not guys pawing at her
Whoa where has the assumption come from? I have only stated that I would like to help build confidence. For the record she would like to restart the sex life just as much if not more than I. "
How about trying some non penetrative sex? Would that be an acceptable option for you both? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So my partner and I have just become parents, and although not ready to swing yet, she is having trouble with her confidence on sexual attractiveness. What hasn't helped us is the bladder infection and the stitches which has stopped us getting too intimate. Part of me wants to suggest a day in kestrels or BGHS help her ego but am worried she'd think I was trying to force her back to swinging prematurely.
Does anyone have any advice to help boost her confidence?
Get off this site. Concentrate on being new parents, loving each other.
Just reassure her she looks lovely. Treat her to a spa day? Shopping for new clothes? Meals out?
But get off this site...its not worth it."
Tbf I only use the forum even then not much due to getting into breaking bad |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Actually this is one of her biggest thrills in swinging is being checked out.
*Was
Is..... it's only recently she mentioned that she's worried people wouldn't be interested as she limps.
So it may be again. Right now it isn't. How can you support your wife if you can't acknowledge and respect her change and transition?! I don't understand why you are being so defensive. Update your understanding of your wife's needs, she obviously tells you enough about what she feels or is going through."
I'm being defensive because a lot of replies are people assuming that I'm trying to pressure her into going swinging when I'm not in simply asking for advice on confidence boosting |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why oh why do men always try to restart their sex lives so soon after the birth of their baby.
If youd just had a vasectomy and in pain .... it would be the last thing on your mind.Her body has just gone through a major trauma and her hormones are all over the place.
What you could do is be patient ... understanding and let your partner get some rest and recouperation ....
Help with the baby is what she needs not guys pawing at her
Whoa where has the assumption come from? I have only stated that I would like to help build confidence. For the record she would like to restart the sex life just as much if not more than I.
How about trying some non penetrative sex? Would that be an acceptable option for you both?"
sex or lack of isn't the issue here just confidence. I'm actually regretting this post as I'm now starting to feel like a sex pest |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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She won't gain her confidence back until SHE feels good about HERSELF.
Women undergo a lot of emotional changes as well as physical changes when they have a baby so her hormones are all over the shop and she's probably tired, none of which make you feel sexy.
Give her some time to herself is the most important thing you can do. Let her have a relaxing bubble bath for an hour, let her go to the gym or the hairdressers, things that remind her she is not just a mum, time to relax and pamper herself.
Everything will settle down eventually, just be patient.
And congrats to you both on your baby |
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"Why oh why do men always try to restart their sex lives so soon after the birth of their baby.
If youd just had a vasectomy and in pain .... it would be the last thing on your mind.Her body has just gone through a major trauma and her hormones are all over the place.
What you could do is be patient ... understanding and let your partner get some rest and recouperation ....
Help with the baby is what she needs not guys pawing at her
Whoa where has the assumption come from? I have only stated that I would like to help build confidence. For the record she would like to restart the sex life just as much if not more than I.
How about trying some non penetrative sex? Would that be an acceptable option for you both? sex or lack of isn't the issue here just confidence. I'm actually regretting this post as I'm now starting to feel like a sex pest"
I don't think you're a sex pest. I do think you're ignoring some really good advice and concentrating on the negative posts though. You don't need to defend yourself because you seem to me to genuinely want to support your partner. We can only give you advice from our own experiences and most of us are trying to understand and help. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why oh why do men always try to restart their sex lives so soon after the birth of their baby.
If youd just had a vasectomy and in pain .... it would be the last thing on your mind.Her body has just gone through a major trauma and her hormones are all over the place.
What you could do is be patient ... understanding and let your partner get some rest and recouperation ....
Help with the baby is what she needs not guys pawing at her
Whoa where has the assumption come from? I have only stated that I would like to help build confidence. For the record she would like to restart the sex life just as much if not more than I.
How about trying some non penetrative sex? Would that be an acceptable option for you both? sex or lack of isn't the issue here just confidence. I'm actually regretting this post as I'm now starting to feel like a sex pest
I don't think you're a sex pest. I do think you're ignoring some really good advice and concentrating on the negative posts though. You don't need to defend yourself because you seem to me to genuinely want to support your partner. We can only give you advice from our own experiences and most of us are trying to understand and help."
Trust me when I say I'm taking the good advice on board. Sadly too many people are judging me hence starting to feel like some kind of sexual delinquent.
As you can see I'm genuinely trying to cheer her up and help make her feel better about herself. |
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"Why oh why do men always try to restart their sex lives so soon after the birth of their baby.
If youd just had a vasectomy and in pain .... it would be the last thing on your mind.Her body has just gone through a major trauma and her hormones are all over the place.
What you could do is be patient ... understanding and let your partner get some rest and recouperation ....
Help with the baby is what she needs not guys pawing at her
Whoa where has the assumption come from? I have only stated that I would like to help build confidence. For the record she would like to restart the sex life just as much if not more than I.
How about trying some non penetrative sex? Would that be an acceptable option for you both? sex or lack of isn't the issue here just confidence. I'm actually regretting this post as I'm now starting to feel like a sex pest"
OP You post to a sex site forum about your partner who gave birth 8 weeks ago, I repeat a sex site, you are discussing personal things about her with complete strangers, you mention taking her to a swinging club to help with her confidence!!! How can going to a swinging club help with her confidence? Swinging club = sex!!! You seriously need to have a chat with yourself, all our advice is common sense so why have you had to ask strangers for advice? Why didn't you know all this already? I am surprised you are spending time on here instead of spending time with your partner and new baby. You are coming over as a sex pest! Only my opinion for what it's worth! I suggest you get off this site and concentrate on helping partner with baby and concentrate on your role as a new father! |
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"Why oh why do men always try to restart their sex lives so soon after the birth of their baby.
If youd just had a vasectomy and in pain .... it would be the last thing on your mind.Her body has just gone through a major trauma and her hormones are all over the place.
What you could do is be patient ... understanding and let your partner get some rest and recouperation ....
Help with the baby is what she needs not guys pawing at her
Whoa where has the assumption come from? I have only stated that I would like to help build confidence. For the record she would like to restart the sex life just as much if not more than I.
How about trying some non penetrative sex? Would that be an acceptable option for you both? sex or lack of isn't the issue here just confidence. I'm actually regretting this post as I'm now starting to feel like a sex pest
I don't think you're a sex pest. I do think you're ignoring some really good advice and concentrating on the negative posts though. You don't need to defend yourself because you seem to me to genuinely want to support your partner. We can only give you advice from our own experiences and most of us are trying to understand and help.
Trust me when I say I'm taking the good advice on board. Sadly too many people are judging me hence starting to feel like some kind of sexual delinquent.
As you can see I'm genuinely trying to cheer her up and help make her feel better about herself. "
If you know that some of the things being written aren't applicable to you ignore them..."you" know it isn't true.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why oh why do men always try to restart their sex lives so soon after the birth of their baby.
If youd just had a vasectomy and in pain .... it would be the last thing on your mind.Her body has just gone through a major trauma and her hormones are all over the place.
What you could do is be patient ... understanding and let your partner get some rest and recouperation ....
Help with the baby is what she needs not guys pawing at her
Whoa where has the assumption come from? I have only stated that I would like to help build confidence. For the record she would like to restart the sex life just as much if not more than I.
How about trying some non penetrative sex? Would that be an acceptable option for you both? sex or lack of isn't the issue here just confidence. I'm actually regretting this post as I'm now starting to feel like a sex pest
I don't think you're a sex pest. I do think you're ignoring some really good advice and concentrating on the negative posts though. You don't need to defend yourself because you seem to me to genuinely want to support your partner. We can only give you advice from our own experiences and most of us are trying to understand and help.
Trust me when I say I'm taking the good advice on board. Sadly too many people are judging me hence starting to feel like some kind of sexual delinquent.
As you can see I'm genuinely trying to cheer her up and help make her feel better about herself.
If you know that some of the things being written aren't applicable to you ignore them..."you" know it isn't true.
"
This is true as with the post above your last post. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why oh why do men always try to restart their sex lives so soon after the birth of their baby.
If youd just had a vasectomy and in pain .... it would be the last thing on your mind.Her body has just gone through a major trauma and her hormones are all over the place.
What you could do is be patient ... understanding and let your partner get some rest and recouperation ....
Help with the baby is what she needs not guys pawing at her
Whoa where has the assumption come from? I have only stated that I would like to help build confidence. For the record she would like to restart the sex life just as much if not more than I.
How about trying some non penetrative sex? Would that be an acceptable option for you both? sex or lack of isn't the issue here just confidence. I'm actually regretting this post as I'm now starting to feel like a sex pest
OP You post to a sex site forum about your partner who gave birth 8 weeks ago, I repeat a sex site, you are discussing personal things about her with complete strangers, you mention taking her to a swinging club to help with her confidence!!! How can going to a swinging club help with her confidence? Swinging club = sex!!! You seriously need to have a chat with yourself, all our advice is common sense so why have you had to ask strangers for advice? Why didn't you know all this already? I am surprised you are spending time on here instead of spending time with your partner and new baby. You are coming over as a sex pest! Only my opinion for what it's worth! I suggest you get off this site and concentrate on helping partner with baby and concentrate on your role as a new father! "
I asked a swinging community for advice not as you put it a sex site. I also suggested spas not a swingers club for me naturist spa = relaxation just because you see it as a swinging sex club but that's my opinion as a "sex pest" for what it's worth. And lastly I do not spend anytime on this site when I'm with my partner or child, I am on here during my commute on the train. So please don't think I'm not being a attentive partner/father. |
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"Why oh why do men always try to restart their sex lives so soon after the birth of their baby.
If youd just had a vasectomy and in pain .... it would be the last thing on your mind.Her body has just gone through a major trauma and her hormones are all over the place.
What you could do is be patient ... understanding and let your partner get some rest and recouperation ....
Help with the baby is what she needs not guys pawing at her
Whoa where has the assumption come from? I have only stated that I would like to help build confidence. For the record she would like to restart the sex life just as much if not more than I.
How about trying some non penetrative sex? Would that be an acceptable option for you both? sex or lack of isn't the issue here just confidence. I'm actually regretting this post as I'm now starting to feel like a sex pest
OP You post to a sex site forum about your partner who gave birth 8 weeks ago, I repeat a sex site, you are discussing personal things about her with complete strangers, you mention taking her to a swinging club to help with her confidence!!! How can going to a swinging club help with her confidence? Swinging club = sex!!! You seriously need to have a chat with yourself, all our advice is common sense so why have you had to ask strangers for advice? Why didn't you know all this already? I am surprised you are spending time on here instead of spending time with your partner and new baby. You are coming over as a sex pest! Only my opinion for what it's worth! I suggest you get off this site and concentrate on helping partner with baby and concentrate on your role as a new father!
I asked a swinging community for advice not as you put it a sex site. I also suggested spas not a swingers club for me naturist spa = relaxation just because you see it as a swinging sex club but that's my opinion as a "sex pest" for what it's worth. And lastly I do not spend anytime on this site when I'm with my partner or child, I am on here during my commute on the train. So please don't think I'm not being a attentive partner/father. "
A 'swinging community' you say? Swinging = sex! I really don't think this is the place for this kind of question. The nature of this site brings sex to the forefront of people's minds (it's psychological) which is why 'some' I repeat 'some' people see you as wanting to get your partner back to swinging because of the wording of your question. I also think a naturist spa is the wrong place to take your partner after giving birth 8 weeks ago. You won't understand this being a man but us women need time to get our bodies back to normal after giving birth, that needs to be done in private and when she is ready to show herself off to people then she will decide not you. I think you need to get off this site and get used to family life and support your partner. I'm not judging your parental skills I just think you shouldn't be thinking about Fab at such a special intimate time in your life. |
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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago
Wherever the party is! |
"Why oh why do men always try to restart their sex lives so soon after the birth of their baby.
If youd just had a vasectomy and in pain .... it would be the last thing on your mind.Her body has just gone through a major trauma and her hormones are all over the place.
What you could do is be patient ... understanding and let your partner get some rest and recouperation ....
Help with the baby is what she needs not guys pawing at her
Whoa where has the assumption come from? I have only stated that I would like to help build confidence. For the record she would like to restart the sex life just as much if not more than I.
How about trying some non penetrative sex? Would that be an acceptable option for you both? sex or lack of isn't the issue here just confidence. I'm actually regretting this post as I'm now starting to feel like a sex pest
OP You post to a sex site forum about your partner who gave birth 8 weeks ago, I repeat a sex site, you are discussing personal things about her with complete strangers, you mention taking her to a swinging club to help with her confidence!!! How can going to a swinging club help with her confidence? Swinging club = sex!!! You seriously need to have a chat with yourself, all our advice is common sense so why have you had to ask strangers for advice? Why didn't you know all this already? I am surprised you are spending time on here instead of spending time with your partner and new baby. You are coming over as a sex pest! Only my opinion for what it's worth! I suggest you get off this site and concentrate on helping partner with baby and concentrate on your role as a new father!
I asked a swinging community for advice not as you put it a sex site. I also suggested spas not a swingers club for me naturist spa = relaxation just because you see it as a swinging sex club but that's my opinion as a "sex pest" for what it's worth. And lastly I do not spend anytime on this site when I'm with my partner or child, I am on here during my commute on the train. So please don't think I'm not being a attentive partner/father.
A 'swinging community' you say? Swinging = sex! I really don't think this is the place for this kind of question. The nature of this site brings sex to the forefront of people's minds (it's psychological) which is why 'some' I repeat 'some' people see you as wanting to get your partner back to swinging because of the wording of your question. I also think a naturist spa is the wrong place to take your partner after giving birth 8 weeks ago. You won't understand this being a man but us women need time to get our bodies back to normal after giving birth, that needs to be done in private and when she is ready to show herself off to people then she will decide not you. I think you need to get off this site and get used to family life and support your partner. I'm not judging your parental skills I just think you shouldn't be thinking about Fab at such a special intimate time in your life. "
Maybe try asking for advice on Mumsnet.
They're not so harsh over there apparently... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why oh why do men always try to restart their sex lives so soon after the birth of their baby.
If youd just had a vasectomy and in pain .... it would be the last thing on your mind.Her body has just gone through a major trauma and her hormones are all over the place.
What you could do is be patient ... understanding and let your partner get some rest and recouperation ....
Help with the baby is what she needs not guys pawing at her
Whoa where has the assumption come from? I have only stated that I would like to help build confidence. For the record she would like to restart the sex life just as much if not more than I.
How about trying some non penetrative sex? Would that be an acceptable option for you both? sex or lack of isn't the issue here just confidence. I'm actually regretting this post as I'm now starting to feel like a sex pest
OP You post to a sex site forum about your partner who gave birth 8 weeks ago, I repeat a sex site, you are discussing personal things about her with complete strangers, you mention taking her to a swinging club to help with her confidence!!! How can going to a swinging club help with her confidence? Swinging club = sex!!! You seriously need to have a chat with yourself, all our advice is common sense so why have you had to ask strangers for advice? Why didn't you know all this already? I am surprised you are spending time on here instead of spending time with your partner and new baby. You are coming over as a sex pest! Only my opinion for what it's worth! I suggest you get off this site and concentrate on helping partner with baby and concentrate on your role as a new father!
I asked a swinging community for advice not as you put it a sex site. I also suggested spas not a swingers club for me naturist spa = relaxation just because you see it as a swinging sex club but that's my opinion as a "sex pest" for what it's worth. And lastly I do not spend anytime on this site when I'm with my partner or child, I am on here during my commute on the train. So please don't think I'm not being a attentive partner/father.
A 'swinging community' you say? Swinging = sex! I really don't think this is the place for this kind of question. The nature of this site brings sex to the forefront of people's minds (it's psychological) which is why 'some' I repeat 'some' people see you as wanting to get your partner back to swinging because of the wording of your question. I also think a naturist spa is the wrong place to take your partner after giving birth 8 weeks ago. You won't understand this being a man but us women need time to get our bodies back to normal after giving birth, that needs to be done in private and when she is ready to show herself off to people then she will decide not you. I think you need to get off this site and get used to family life and support your partner. I'm not judging your parental skills I just think you shouldn't be thinking about Fab at such a special intimate time in your life.
Maybe try asking for advice on Mumsnet.
They're not so harsh over there apparently..."
Lol you'd be very surprised on there you're a failure of a parent if you don't breast feed. |
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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago
Wherever the party is! |
"Not so harsh? Have you been on mumsnet? They aren't called a nest of vipers for nothing.
Thick skin required but the forums are great of you can avoid the wrath of the posters!"
Welcome to the forums. You must be new here I'm Milk Tre...  |
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"Why oh why do men always try to restart their sex lives so soon after the birth of their baby.
If youd just had a vasectomy and in pain .... it would be the last thing on your mind.Her body has just gone through a major trauma and her hormones are all over the place.
What you could do is be patient ... understanding and let your partner get some rest and recouperation ....
Help with the baby is what she needs not guys pawing at her
Whoa where has the assumption come from? I have only stated that I would like to help build confidence. For the record she would like to restart the sex life just as much if not more than I.
How about trying some non penetrative sex? Would that be an acceptable option for you both? sex or lack of isn't the issue here just confidence. I'm actually regretting this post as I'm now starting to feel like a sex pest
OP You post to a sex site forum about your partner who gave birth 8 weeks ago, I repeat a sex site, you are discussing personal things about her with complete strangers, you mention taking her to a swinging club to help with her confidence!!! How can going to a swinging club help with her confidence? Swinging club = sex!!! You seriously need to have a chat with yourself, all our advice is common sense so why have you had to ask strangers for advice? Why didn't you know all this already? I am surprised you are spending time on here instead of spending time with your partner and new baby. You are coming over as a sex pest! Only my opinion for what it's worth! I suggest you get off this site and concentrate on helping partner with baby and concentrate on your role as a new father!
I asked a swinging community for advice not as you put it a sex site. I also suggested spas not a swingers club for me naturist spa = relaxation just because you see it as a swinging sex club but that's my opinion as a "sex pest" for what it's worth. And lastly I do not spend anytime on this site when I'm with my partner or child, I am on here during my commute on the train. So please don't think I'm not being a attentive partner/father.
A 'swinging community' you say? Swinging = sex! I really don't think this is the place for this kind of question. The nature of this site brings sex to the forefront of people's minds (it's psychological) which is why 'some' I repeat 'some' people see you as wanting to get your partner back to swinging because of the wording of your question. I also think a naturist spa is the wrong place to take your partner after giving birth 8 weeks ago. You won't understand this being a man but us women need time to get our bodies back to normal after giving birth, that needs to be done in private and when she is ready to show herself off to people then she will decide not you. I think you need to get off this site and get used to family life and support your partner. I'm not judging your parental skills I just think you shouldn't be thinking about Fab at such a special intimate time in your life.
Maybe try asking for advice on Mumsnet.
They're not so harsh over there apparently...
Lol you'd be very surprised on there you're a failure of a parent if you don't breast feed. "
Let's face it the world is always happy to brand parents as failures. Mostly we're all just trying the best we can. I was criticised because a lot of people felt I breastfeed too long and too often. You'll never win.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why oh why do men always try to restart their sex lives so soon after the birth of their baby.
If youd just had a vasectomy and in pain .... it would be the last thing on your mind.Her body has just gone through a major trauma and her hormones are all over the place.
What you could do is be patient ... understanding and let your partner get some rest and recouperation ....
Help with the baby is what she needs not guys pawing at her
Whoa where has the assumption come from? I have only stated that I would like to help build confidence. For the record she would like to restart the sex life just as much if not more than I.
How about trying some non penetrative sex? Would that be an acceptable option for you both? sex or lack of isn't the issue here just confidence. I'm actually regretting this post as I'm now starting to feel like a sex pest
OP You post to a sex site forum about your partner who gave birth 8 weeks ago, I repeat a sex site, you are discussing personal things about her with complete strangers, you mention taking her to a swinging club to help with her confidence!!! How can going to a swinging club help with her confidence? Swinging club = sex!!! You seriously need to have a chat with yourself, all our advice is common sense so why have you had to ask strangers for advice? Why didn't you know all this already? I am surprised you are spending time on here instead of spending time with your partner and new baby. You are coming over as a sex pest! Only my opinion for what it's worth! I suggest you get off this site and concentrate on helping partner with baby and concentrate on your role as a new father!
I asked a swinging community for advice not as you put it a sex site. I also suggested spas not a swingers club for me naturist spa = relaxation just because you see it as a swinging sex club but that's my opinion as a "sex pest" for what it's worth. And lastly I do not spend anytime on this site when I'm with my partner or child, I am on here during my commute on the train. So please don't think I'm not being a attentive partner/father.
A 'swinging community' you say? Swinging = sex! I really don't think this is the place for this kind of question. The nature of this site brings sex to the forefront of people's minds (it's psychological) which is why 'some' I repeat 'some' people see you as wanting to get your partner back to swinging because of the wording of your question. I also think a naturist spa is the wrong place to take your partner after giving birth 8 weeks ago. You won't understand this being a man but us women need time to get our bodies back to normal after giving birth, that needs to be done in private and when she is ready to show herself off to people then she will decide not you. I think you need to get off this site and get used to family life and support your partner. I'm not judging your parental skills I just think you shouldn't be thinking about Fab at such a special intimate time in your life.
Maybe try asking for advice on Mumsnet.
They're not so harsh over there apparently...
Lol you'd be very surprised on there you're a failure of a parent if you don't breast feed.
Let's face it the world is always happy to brand parents as failures. Mostly we're all just trying the best we can. I was criticised because a lot of people felt I breastfeed too long and too often. You'll never win.
"
I belong to a Facebook group call fed is best I couldn't agree more as long as baby is healthy who cares how it's fed. |
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