FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Worried about all of this.
Worried about all of this.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I would say I'm new to this site, I've been very careful of who I choose to speak to and to be honest I've not found many local people (if you're then msg me).
But apart from that I'm a bit anxious of meeting with someone. I've had sex, done all that kind of stuff before but just meeting up with a stranger to go back to their place and fuck is kind of worrying for me.
Any tips of what to make sure of before meeting with someone?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'd like to point out I am able to meet new people etc. I'm more asking about how to know if someone is fake, or kind of fucked up so I stay out of harms way if that makes sense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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is it your safety your worried about op?
go for a social in a public place first, get more comfortable in their presence.
give a trusted friend details of where your going and arrange a time to check in with them.
there's probably alot of stuff on line too, look up stuff on safety tips for online dating perhaps?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Okay, thankyou. Yes it's like safety I guess. I can take care of myself but thinking I'm meeting up with a female then a 50 year old man turning up is not what I am looking for haha.
I just need some reassurance I think. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" but just meeting up with a stranger to go back to their place and fuck is kind of worrying for me.
Maybe you should consider whether swinging is really for you?"
I think most people have slight anxiety about meeting strangers. It's natural. It doesn't mean swinging is not for him and at least he has sense to ask for advice |
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"Okay, thankyou. Yes it's like safety I guess. I can take care of myself but thinking I'm meeting up with a female then a 50 year old man turning up is not what I am looking for haha.
I just need some reassurance I think. "
Everyone has this problem. If a man turns up just laugh in his face and tell him to **** off.
This is no different to any other 'dating site'... but if youre that unsettled about it maybe stick to tinder. X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" but just meeting up with a stranger to go back to their place and fuck is kind of worrying for me.
Maybe you should consider whether swinging is really for you?I think most people have slight anxiety about meeting strangers. It's natural. It doesn't mean swinging is not for him and at least he has sense to ask for advice "
Thankyou for giving an actual good answer. |
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" but just meeting up with a stranger to go back to their place and fuck is kind of worrying for me.
Maybe you should consider whether swinging is really for you?I think most people have slight anxiety about meeting strangers. It's natural. It doesn't mean swinging is not for him and at least he has sense to ask for advice "
Do they?
It isn't for everyone, horses for courses and all that. Why persevere with something that causes anxiety? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Okay, thankyou. Yes it's like safety I guess. I can take care of myself but thinking I'm meeting up with a female then a 50 year old man turning up is not what I am looking for haha.
I just need some reassurance I think.
Everyone has this problem. If a man turns up just laugh in his face and tell him to **** off.
This is no different to any other 'dating site'... but if youre that unsettled about it maybe stick to tinder. X"
*Expands T*nder Search radius to 160 miles*  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always insist on at least a kik live pic or snapchat, public meet at first, there are slot of fakes on here, your right to act with caution! Imagine what it's like for a woman lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always insist on at least a kik live pic or snapchat, public meet at first, there are slot of fakes on here, your right to act with caution! Imagine what it's like for a woman lol"
Ditto. Once I know we have a rapport I just ask for a quick kik chat, Skype, WhatsApp or face call... Soon find out if they are genuine or not!  |
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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago
Wherever the party is! |
"I dont bother with kik. That can be as fake as owt aswell.
I love a number. Copy and paste it into facebook... pic with wife comes up...ANNDDD BLOCK.
magic "
Not sure why that would be a block. Some "swingers" actually enjoy fucking other peoples wives and husbands.  |
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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago
Wherever the party is! |
"I would say I'm new to this site, I've been very careful of who I choose to speak to and to be honest I've not found many local people (if you're then msg me).
But apart from that I'm a bit anxious of meeting with someone. I've had sex, done all that kind of stuff before but just meeting up with a stranger to go back to their place and fuck is kind of worrying for me.
Any tips of what to make sure of before meeting with someone? "
As has been mentioned before. It's super easy to set up a video chat these days. I would go for Kik as you can do that without giving too many private details.
Meeting for a coffee is relatively safe and easy for obvious reasons.
If you're up for it, clubs and organised can also be a great way to meet new swingers. Some people actually find the they get better results there rather than only looking on the internet.
Hope this helps. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would say I'm new to this site, I've been very careful of who I choose to speak to and to be honest I've not found many local people (if you're then msg me).
But apart from that I'm a bit anxious of meeting with someone. I've had sex, done all that kind of stuff before but just meeting up with a stranger to go back to their place and fuck is kind of worrying for me.
Any tips of what to make sure of before meeting with someone? "
Move to the midlands, it's very safe up here |
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"I dont bother with kik. That can be as fake as owt aswell.
I love a number. Copy and paste it into facebook... pic with wife comes up...ANNDDD BLOCK.
magic
Not sure why that would be a block. Some "swingers" actually enjoy fucking other peoples wives and husbands. "
I dont. Obviously. Thats just my preference. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's only natural to be nervous, I still get nervous with new meets.
Just do everything you can to make it feel safer, speak on the phone, check their veri's, check those that have veri'd them, cam etc and then meet somewhere neutral for a coffee or a drink with no expectations.
If you hit it off you can then arrange to take the next step. |
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"Okay, thankyou. Yes it's like safety I guess. I can take care of myself but thinking I'm meeting up with a female then a 50 year old man turning up is not what I am looking for haha.
I just need some reassurance I think. "
I have a feeling you are getting sex working mixed up with swinging.
Just do what a lot of people do; set yourself some standards, meet first for a social and then decide if you want to go further.
Having said that, you are a single man on here and it's going to be hard work for you. Your best bet is clubs and socials. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" but just meeting up with a stranger to go back to their place and fuck is kind of worrying for me.
Maybe you should consider whether swinging is really for you?I think most people have slight anxiety about meeting strangers. It's natural. It doesn't mean swinging is not for him and at least he has sense to ask for advice "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Meet socially in a pub or coffee shop. Go with your gut instinct, if it doesn't feel right, you can walk away.
Arrange meets in hotels (most swingers pay halves).
Have a safety buddy, someone who knows where you are and text to see if all is well.
Being a single guy can be as daunting as a single lady. Safety first.
Good luck x |
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"Id say do a social with person first and if goes well book a room at a local hotel that way you control the enviromemt where you meet instead of meeting at a stranger's house."
Yes and even if it doesnt get to a meet youve had some 'experience' of meeting a stranger and will hopefully ease your mind a little |
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"Id say do a social with person first and if goes well book a room at a local hotel that way you control the enviromemt where you meet instead of meeting at a stranger's house.
Yes and even if it doesnt get to a meet youve had some 'experience' of meeting a stranger and will hopefully ease your mind a little "
Exactly and nerves do happen we are all human but they pass very quickly believe me. |
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Hard to think what advice to give other than the practical meeting in a public place. Other than people being a bit odd/ not quite like their pictures / eccentric, I've never actually heard of anyone experiencing any actual danger. I can always spot a fake or someone I don't want to meet from a profile or one message. Listen to your instincts and try out a club perhaps. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" but just meeting up with a stranger to go back to their place and fuck is kind of worrying for me.
Maybe you should consider whether swinging is really for you?I think most people have slight anxiety about meeting strangers. It's natural. It doesn't mean swinging is not for him and at least he has sense to ask for advice
Do they?
It isn't for everyone, horses for courses and all that. Why persevere with something that causes anxiety?"
I said most people. Probably nervous more than anxious |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I take my time and talk to the person I intend on meeting with. I don't rush, I don't do last minute / immediate meets. Obviously it doesn't eliminate all risk but reduces it. It helps to out time wasters and weirdos! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" but just meeting up with a stranger to go back to their place and fuck is kind of worrying for me.
Maybe you should consider whether swinging is really for you?"
This isn't just a swinger site though! So called advice like yours isn't called for. Long as he abides by site rules, he can use this site however he wishes.
OP, ask the woman to meet you daytime hours for a social coffee in public somewhere. Helps to make sure that lady you're messaging, is actually a lady, she looks like how she describes and that you're comfortable being within her company. Always works for me when I'm meeting guys. I always put my safety first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Okay, thankyou. Yes it's like safety I guess. I can take care of myself but thinking I'm meeting up with a female then a 50 year old man turning up is not what I am looking for haha.
I just need some reassurance I think. "
Don't arrange a meet until you're satisfied that they're the person they say they are and you're comfortable with going ahead.
It's good to go out of your comfort zone sometimes, but a bad experience is likely to knock you back a bit, given the way you feel.
Good luck.  |
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