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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi guys
I'm after some advice at being a better dom!
What's your opinions, what do you expect from your dom? What sort of things does he do for you or what would you do?
Not into the pain side but having control is interesting. |
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By *ucy. AlCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
Were learning this side as well, its about showing respect by saying thank you to each other afterwards(honestly not something id considered before) make sure it stays sane and consensual as well. There actually a few very good sites on internet about this very question well worth a google |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP... We're always learning. I've been in the Bdsm scene for around 10 years and every meet brings me fresh questions. Google is honestly your friend in this case. Read some blogs and check out some sites that help you to learn... Kink university is a good one for beginners. Their main site (kink.com) is a mainstream site but still one of the best out there in my opinion.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My Domme is my soulmate and she sees into me in ways I never thought possible. Once you have a complete trust then you can do pretty much what you want because it's almost an unspoken limit on play. Somehow she just.... knows? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Firstly, if you want to get into this type of lifestyle.. It's hugely desperate to swinging.
Want to be a better Dom?..
This always confuses me.. A Dom is what you want it to be.. There is no wrong or right way. So what do you think a better Dom would be? Why don't you think your a good Dom?
A sub initially makes you a Dom for a start, so what do you want your sub to be? What would you like from her? What do you want her to expect from you?
Being a Dom isn't you just saying "I'm a Dom" it brings a lot more responsibility than most actually seem to grasp after watching bloody Fifty Shades of crap 
Try Fetlife for a start, get involved in the discussions and you'l learn a lot!
But is stay away from the Master/slave group as you'd probably get eaten alive |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was not going to add to this thread as I have got tired of bdsm/kink/dom threads.
I only agree with the last commentators statement that there is no right or wrong way to dom.
I disagree that a sub makes you a dom. Having a sub is in my view an expression of being dom. It is not the same as saying I am a driver therefore I need a car and therefore a dom needs a sub. Even if I am wrong having a car does not mean a person is a good driver. In my mind being a dom is like being a musician or a philosopher. Whether or not you have followers as a philosopher or an audience as a musician does not detract from whether you are a musician or philosopher.
Also, even as a philosopher or a musician you can improve, e.g. expression and consistency of thought and internal coherence of the philosophy for the philosopher and skill levels, musicality and theory for the musician. In the same way a dom/me can work on their skills from rope to impact. They can improve their understanding of the dynamics of domination, anatomy and headspace of subs. They can read on what different subs like. The dom/me can understand about whether aftercare applies, how to give appropriate aftercare or first aid.
I am not a believer that doms have to be cosy care bear types, but if they are not - they need to learn how to communicate this and pick a sub that matches his/ her inclinations. Although I respect submission, it can be difficult for some and it is not something I could do. But being an aware, interesting and nurturing dom is not easy or straight forward. A good scene or training takes planning imagination and understanding. Given the mental and physical harm that can be caused to a sub by not being a "Good dom". Understanding the various ways a person can be a good dom/me or bad one is important. |
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