FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > My relationship? Am I in the wrong?

My relationship? Am I in the wrong?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

So me and my partner are happy together, been together for 5 years and have a family

Also are swingers...

But lately he doesnt want to go with me anywhere. When we went to a swingers club, he was just interested in getting a fuck and I wasnt to bothered. Also we are going to swingers club next week but thats the only time he wants to go with me.

I wanted to go out today and tonight, but he didnt want to go tonight and now he is going out with his mate...

I am in a bad mood about this! :/

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

why would you air that in a public forum on a swingers site ? prob chatting to a friend is best.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *airymagicWoman over a year ago

goblin city

Hmmmm tread carefully x

No advice you sympathy

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *airymagicWoman over a year ago

goblin city

"why would you air that in a public forum on a swingers site ? prob chatting to a friend is best."

My guess being swinger's adds another dimension to the problem

And only swinger's will get it

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Have you tried talking to him about it rather than asking a forum of strangers on the internet who can't possibly know the ins and outs of your relationship?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Without knowing the full dynamics of your relationship, it's hard to tell.

Sometimes, sex drives aren't always in sync and one may be rampant while the other isn't.

It's a coversation better had with your other half than asking a bunch of strangers who know nothing of you or your situations.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"why would you air that in a public forum on a swingers site ? prob chatting to a friend is best."

because OP is a swinger, I'm guessing..

I doubt its something she can share with a friend

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Sometimes guys need a bit of time with their mates

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"why would you air that in a public forum on a swingers site ? prob chatting to a friend is best.

because OP is a swinger, I'm guessing..

I doubt its something she can share with a friend "
hahahahaha

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *otandStickyCouple over a year ago

Poole

Hey chick

It is probably for the best you find out what is the matter with him before you go to a swing club, it sounds like things aren't normal/the way things usually are, so get to the bottom of that before you swing again. Talk to him, and get back into swinging when you are in your happy place again.

Good luck xx

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So me and my partner are happy together, been together for 5 years and have a family

Also are swingers...

I wanted to go out today and tonight, but he didnt want to go tonight and now he is going out with his mate...

I am in a bad mood about this! :/"

Maybe he doesn't want to swing no more? Talk to him is the best advice x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *oodnitegirlWoman over a year ago

Yorkshire

Awww hun i quite feel for you. Get sone wine and enjoy your telly to yourself.x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

People are being a bit harsh ... i mean how dare the OP ask for advice in a forum called swinging support and advice

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *rgoodnbadMan over a year ago

greenock

"Sometimes guys need a bit of time with their mates

As simple as that.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Maybe arrange for some nights out yourself. What's sauce for the goose and all that?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/03/17 19:55:12]

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *xxxMan over a year ago

Bedford & Chester

"People are being a bit harsh ... i mean how dare the OP ask for advice in a forum called swinging support and advice

Couldn't agree more!

I'm really surprised people are being critical of another member asking for advice. If you have nothing but cynicism why comment?

Sorry OP I dint have an answer but I agree with the previous points about talking to him and letting him know what you want.

Hope that helps.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So me and my partner are happy together, been together for 5 years and have a family

Also are swingers...

I wanted to go out today and tonight, but he didnt want to go tonight and now he is going out with his mate...

I am in a bad mood about this! :/"

No disrespect but It doesn't look that much of a happy relationship from what you've said ?

Sounds like its dead to me?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

speaking metaphorically it Sounds like a wall is going up. It needs knocking down as soon as possible before it gets too high. Have a glass of wine or 2, not too much and a bit of a heart to heart and try to say exactly what is on both your minds and demolish it as soon as you can and make sure stays down.

Most blokes would give their right arm to have a naughty wife.

Good luck.

xxx

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *alcon43Woman over a year ago

Paisley

I know of a Fab couple where the female went off playing with others for a while. They don't have kids but she has found her mojo again. She was still playing with her partner though.

Sounds like you two need to talk. Could be a sign of depression. Maybe there's something bothering your partner.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *mmmMaybeCouple over a year ago

West Wales

"So me and my partner are happy together, been together for 5 years and have a family

Also are swingers...

I wanted to go out today and tonight, but he didnt want to go tonight and now he is going out with his mate...

I am in a bad mood about this! :/"

Who instigates the club nights?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *oluptuousWetOneWoman over a year ago

Wokingham / Reading

"So me and my partner are happy together, been together for 5 years and have a family

Also are swingers...

I wanted to go out today and tonight, but he didnt want to go tonight and now he is going out with his mate...

I am in a bad mood about this! :/

Maybe he doesn't want to swing no more? Talk to him is the best advice x

Although mentioned is that he's interested in going to a club. Seems a honest talk is needed

Hope you can get thing resolved

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can advise you. This is really simple.

Stop swinging and talk to each other otherwise I guarantee in less than six months you'll have split.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It seems swinging isn't making your relationship happy. Maybe take a huge step back from it and sort your problems out. I can't imagine many people would want to meet up with you now that you have posted on here that things aren't great at the moment.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ay19720Man over a year ago

Ashford kent

"So me and my partner are happy together, been together for 5 years and have a family

Also are swingers...

I wanted to go out today and tonight, but he didnt want to go tonight and now he is going out with his mate...

I am in a bad mood about this! :/"

Hope u felt better getting it of ya chest sexy..

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ikstupp2Man over a year ago

london

"why would you air that in a public forum on a swingers site ? prob chatting to a friend is best."
its a support and advice thread lol

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ikstupp2Man over a year ago

london

"I know of a Fab couple where the female went off playing with others for a while. They don't have kids but she has found her mojo again. She was still playing with her partner though.

Sounds like you two need to talk. Could be a sign of depression. Maybe there's something bothering your partner. "
at last good advice

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ascade35Man over a year ago

Alnwick

Could be anything from jealousy to not being bothered about swinging anymore and a whole host of things inbetween.

Like many others have said OP.....talk to your other half and try to break down whatever wall seems to be going up between you both.

Good luck

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *otwife and Him 69Couple over a year ago

Preston

Wow .....some of you are very judgemental ??? How can she talk to a friend about it ??? I know I couldn't !!

I would suggest a night out together with no swinging fun but that's what you had tried to do ...... talk to him tell him how it's made you feel maybe change your night of swinging into a night of fun for you both no swinging involved .... it's hard to keep the balance sometimes !! I know I few people that have gone through this ... and guess what they are still together .... so for the people saying they shouldn't be together .... nobody's relationship is perfect all the time swingers or not !!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is he going out at all, whats he like at home with you, is he chatty? It may be a case of hes looking for the next big extreme thing and may be as bored as you, but not of you (if you see what I mean) Ask him if everything is ok

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Get rid of him and date me instead xx lol x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is he going out at all, whats he like at home with you, is he chatty? It may be a case of hes looking for the next big extreme thing and may be as bored as you, but not of you (if you see what I mean) Ask him if everything is ok"

Apparently he doesnt take her out anymore and prefers to go out on his own saying hes seeing his friends?

The only times shes been out recently are when he takes her to a swingers club.

In there he doesnt pay her much attention and is more interested in getting a fuck with someone new there.

While shes been in the club with him she hasnt wanted to play with anyone.

So shes asking our opinions on it ?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *loswingersCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

"So me and my partner are happy together, been together for 5 years and have a family

Also are swingers...

I wanted to go out today and tonight, but he didnt want to go tonight and now he is going out with his mate...

I am in a bad mood about this! :/"

There is a different kind of thrill with swinging , and he seems to want this , but perhaps isn't so interested in the ordinary ( non swinging ) real life .

This could be a problem in the future for you both . You will resent the fact that he only seems to want the icing in the cake , hence he is happy to take you out to swinging clubs . This gives him a chance to shag others , which he would probably struggle to do without you . You don't feel like shagging others because you are concerned by his feelings towards you , and perhaps think the swinging has taken something away from your relationship ?

Men can be very single minded , they get a taste of something they like and it becomes the be all and end all . They can easily forget the important emotional issues , and this seems to be the case here . He needs to realise that he may lose everything if he doesn't at least try to see what is happening from your perspective .

Good luck op

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *abe1200Couple over a year ago

belfast

"So me and my partner are happy together, been together for 5 years and have a family

Also are swingers...

I wanted to go out today and tonight, but he didnt want to go tonight and now he is going out with his mate...

I am in a bad mood about this! :/"

I think you must take a break from swinging and address the issue with your man,i read your profile too and you mentioned family staying with you and somethings cant be done due to this,it could be because of it i m not sure but whatever it is talk to your man it might be a small issue.Think about it you have the upper hand on this one,most man will do a lot to have a swinging wife and I don't think your man will be silly to ruin it for himself.Whatever the outcome all couples have issues sometimes small or big so stay strong and talk to your man.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I really dont know whats going on with him...

Hes not talking to me often, not giving me any love or attention...

I suggested to go to a normal club he dont seem interested

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By * SCARED x STIFF xCouple over a year ago

west midlands

Make sure you tell him exactly how you feel , if he doesn't know then he can't do anything about it, he might just be focused on something at work etc

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ascade35Man over a year ago

Alnwick

"I really dont know whats going on with him...

Hes not talking to me often, not giving me any love or attention...

I suggested to go to a normal club he dont seem interested

Well you are an extremely sexy looking woman and should things not work out between you (which I hope they do), you'll not be short of queuing admirers that's for certain x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *iggles and BeardyCouple over a year ago

Bristol

Love mtpy wife to bits and always goto clubs with her, I'm happy to go for a meal or movie too, but most times if she wants to go out for a drink its a nope.

I don't enjoy pubs, I find them odd, boring, far to noisy and I get paranoid in most pubs. So I just send her to see her mates.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *arry247Couple over a year ago

Wakefield

"So me and my partner are happy together, been together for 5 years and have a family

Also are swingers...

I wanted to go out today and tonight, but he didnt want to go tonight and now he is going out with his mate...

I am in a bad mood about this! :/"

Perhaps you should have gone too and let his mate play with you

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I really dont know whats going on with him...

Hes not talking to me often, not giving me any love or attention...

I suggested to go to a normal club he dont seem interested

Most likely bored and wants something/someone else x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ischief ManagedCouple over a year ago

manchester

If you can difficult with family a short couple of days break away from the norm might help.Day to day life does get you down sometimes.Maybe thats why he wants to go to mates?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sounds like he isn't as into it as you are... maybe it would be a good idea to take a step back from the scene and spend some time as a completely monogamous couple for a while.

We haven't been into it for the past few months, we're just dipping our toe in again after a 9 month break. I think the problem arises when a relationship becomes more about the swinging and less about each other.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ost SockMan over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

"I really dont know whats going on with him...

Hes not talking to me often, not giving me any love or attention...

I suggested to go to a normal club he dont seem interested

Sounds tough, but it's a scene being repeated in millions of homes across the land.

He sounds a bit "stuck in a rut" - perhaps work pressures, family stuff are all playing a part. Just the stresses of everyday life really.

I'm speculating a bit, obviously, but it's very commonplace, and I guess being a young couple has its own pressures in today's world.

People are right though - you have to talk. I always think it's good to do that away from "normal" life. If you have the time and money, and he's willing, maybe book a weekend away. Step away from your normal environment and social media for a while. Just being in a different place and seeing different things can help people focus and think clearer.

Maybe there'll need to be a little "incentive" for him to do that, I dunno - involving a place or activity he likes doing for a few hours so it doesn't seem to be a completely serious weekend.

Good luck.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman over a year ago

stourbridge area

Absence makes the heart grow fonder ... start doing some stuff by your self ...

Go out with friends ... make new friends .... take up a hobby..... men like to go into their caves sometimes.

We all need space ..

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

sounds a bit like its all blurred into one - maybe have a date night for just the two of you - then arrange a swing night - keep them separate - and as others have said do your own thing as well with your mates

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not read all the replies but a few good wise comments.

TALK but also LISTEN. Read between the lines.

You're in a good position as you see a problem and seeking advice.

I note he's very much an Alpha male but quiet and reserved. You are beautiful, confident and chatty. That can create insecurity issues if misunderstandings arise and they are not openly discussed and listened too.

You mentioned you go together to swing but then play separately. Has this always been the case or is it a more recent thing? Reflecting on your characters maybe he struggles with all the attention you would get at a party and deals with it by playing by himself where he is the 'alpha'.

Maybe he feels he's loosing that aspect of himself at home and finding it elsewhere. He needs to feel it and feel needed and valued at home.

Not sure of details but you say other family stay with you.... have you looked to see how this may affect the home dynamics? Especially if long term this can cause major issues if left unresolved.

Swing should be a distraction from real life... but as a distraction it shouldn't be a distraction from facing the problems. If it is then I'd consider putting it aside for a period till whatever the issues are have been sorted out otherwise you may find it could cause bigger cracks in time.

I really hope you get this sorted soon. It may involve taking more of an interest and get involved together in each others interests for a while and put swinging on the back burner.

Hope this helps and you both seem lucky to have each other in many ways.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ortheastcoupleukCouple over a year ago

easington were the sun dont shine

"I really dont know whats going on with him...

Hes not talking to me often, not giving me any love or attention...

I suggested to go to a normal club he dont seem interested

"
my advice stop swinging ,hide profile and both find your selfs again .

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic