FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > How to get my girl to cheat
How to get my girl to cheat
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi how are you? I've been off this site for a while as I've been in a relationship. I've come back on for some advice. I have been with my gf for a while now. I've developed a fantasy of her being with other guys. I've brought this up in sex and she got really turned on however a few days later she said she couldn't do it as she thinks it's damaging to our relationship I told her it wouldn't be I've not mentioned it since but it's eating away at me. Maybe I went about it the wrong way how do I bring it up again? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi how are you? I've been off this site for a while as I've been in a relationship. I've come back on for some advice. I have been with my gf for a while now. I've developed a fantasy of her being with other guys. I've brought this up in sex and she got really turned on however a few days later she said she couldn't do it as she thinks it's damaging to our relationship I told her it wouldn't be I've not mentioned it since but it's eating away at me. Maybe I went about it the wrong way how do I bring it up again? "
Perhaps it would damage the relationship for her? Keep pushing it when she doesn't want to is likely to have the same affect. But talk to her when you are not having sex and explore both your fantasies but you might need to accept that some fantasies stay fantasies. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I don't know it's just an odd subject for her to involved in no disrespect to her but she's lived a very sheltered life..if she was really horny about the idea once before maybe there's something?? |
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"I know but you know what I mean I don't want I watch I want her immediately after. I'm a novice at this "
There are couples who play that way. You need a long talk with your girlfriend in which you're completely honest and encourage her to be too. Then if she really feels its not for her you need to reconsider your relationship. Be kind, be loving and be understanding. Different preferences sexually can make or break a relationship. |
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"I don't know it's just an odd subject for her to involved in no disrespect to her but she's lived a very sheltered life..if she was really horny about the idea once before maybe there's something??"
Fantasy and reality are not the same thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi how are you? I've been off this site for a while as I've been in a relationship. I've come back on for some advice. I have been with my gf for a while now. I've developed a fantasy of her being with other guys. I've brought this up in sex and she got really turned on however a few days later she said she couldn't do it as she thinks it's damaging to our relationship I told her it wouldn't be I've not mentioned it since but it's eating away at me. Maybe I went about it the wrong way how do I bring it up again? "
if she thinks that then maybe she doesn't trust you as much as you think she does?
just ask her outright how she feels about swinging and show her your profile on here, then her misgivings will be realised   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi how are you? I've been off this site for a while as I've been in a relationship. I've come back on for some advice. I have been with my gf for a while now. I've developed a fantasy of her being with other guys. I've brought this up in sex and she got really turned on however a few days later she said she couldn't do it as she thinks it's damaging to our relationship I told her it wouldn't be I've not mentioned it since but it's eating away at me. Maybe I went about it the wrong way how do I bring it up again? "
She said NO.....show her some respect and drop it. X
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Is there any harm in asking again I've not pushed the matter at all we've spoke about it briefly once. And she said it might damage things at the time I didn't say anything to reassure her |
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Maybe if you show her your profile on here she will go mad.
There are some people in a relationship who only want their partner, you can't reconsider a relationship because of that. You are being selfish  |
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I think she is worried about you doing the same thing and being with another woman if she goes along with it, so maybe attend a party with a theme where couples are interested in single guys, let her watch other beautiful women enjoy themselves and with time she will gain experience .
If the lifestyle is for her, she will be playing after a couple of parties while you enjoy yourself watching her . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My husband used to have that fantasy. After a while he was adamant I was cheating on him for real, and it killed our marriage. The reality of it (even though it wasn't) wasn't a turn on like his fantasy was. |
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"Sorry I want her to have sex with me knowing and I want sex straight after With her"
That's not cheating. If you care about her close your profile down and then either join as a couple uf that's what she wants, or just have a monogamous relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can't force your desires onto someone else. She's said it's something she doesn't want to do, so you should respect that, or risk losing your girlfriend. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry I want her to have sex with me knowing and I want sex straight after With her"
Look up cuckolding. You might mean that.
All couples (that didn't mean through swinging) have had to talk to each other about swinging before they started. I think it's harsh to bitch at you for it.
Talk to her when you're not horny. Maybe show her some swinging links with decent info.
If she keeps saying "no" you do have to respect that. Maybe stick to role play where she pretends to have just come home from fucking someone.  |
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"You can't force your desires onto someone else. She's said it's something she doesn't want to do, so you should respect that, or risk losing your girlfriend. "
I think you've summed it up. Ive swung as a couple, a single and had a vanilla relationship in the last few years.
My vanilla relationship lasted 2 years and I deleted my Fab profile during that relationship. I mentioned early on that I'm a swinger and it didn't go down well, I never mentioned it again. The lady was worth it, but it didn't work out for other reasons.
You can't put a square peg in a round hole so to speak, it's just wrong.
Equally I've been on dates outside Fab which have ended up with me introducing the lady to this lifestyle.
Come to think of it, I was introduced to swinging myself through a vanilla date which turned out the lady was a swinger and she introduced me.....
I strongly believe you must never try to coocerce somebody or try to persuade them. It either happens because you are both on the same page and trust each other to make it happen, or you don't go there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi how are you? I've been off this site for a while as I've been in a relationship. I've come back on for some advice. I have been with my gf for a while now. I've developed a fantasy of her being with other guys. I've brought this up in sex and she got really turned on however a few days later she said she couldn't do it as she thinks it's damaging to our relationship I told her it wouldn't be I've not mentioned it since but it's eating away at me. Maybe I went about it the wrong way how do I bring it up again? "
Tell her you're on here. I'm sure she'll either cheat on you or leave you then. |
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Yeah, another thing to note is this lifestyle has different departments,I had a girlfriend once who liked the idea but did not like me playing with other women,I did not enjoy swinging as a couple as result, I had to pull out of the relationship because I was not happy and play as a single guy when I realised I was in demand from couples and single ladies which is absolutely amazing , now with my new girlfriend,we are single at the parties and play as singles, we are both very happy this way, so you have to find out what works for you. |
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