FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Why is it near on impossible to get a meet?
Why is it near on impossible to get a meet?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Im wondering if there's any reason why I still struggle to get meets or even messages from females or couples on this site?
I really find Fabs to be quite useless at finding meets outside of the club scene, I'm guessing that I'm let down by my profile but I've tried to write that in a way that says exactly what I'm seeking, which is a playmate who matches my high libido that also indulges in the semi private world of the swingers club scene.
I have have been going to clubs since 2003 and have enjoyed moderate success by being a friendly talkative single guy, I know how to control any lascivious feelings and conduct myself in a responsible way, having the verifications to back this up but I can't ever say that I get many messages with my profile on fabs.
I think that most people do not bother to read deeper into profiles, with most minds made up on a brutally quick instant glance at a profile pic, and even if your message manages to get read. I'm sure most get deleted due to women being inundated with messages by clueless single guys that send crude one line messages asking for a fuck or countless dick shots.
I guess my profile is let down by lousy photos and my not so gym fit body? I would of thought my verifications would help but without getting the body of a muscle bound Adonis, which just won't happen overnight (or ever if I'm honest!) am I better off forgetting about meets and trying to build up a rapport with ladies that I might of seen out at a club?  |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
i think you basically nailed it OP.
on the internet most people are just looking at your profile and if they don't like what they see they can ignore you.
at clubs you have a way to show off what you presume ae your best qualities, so you have more success.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So what kind pictures would you suggest I make public?
Any message I send is accompanied by a face pic and a full length body shot (not naked.)
I have a profile pic displayed of my bare bum which I thought was a bit cheeky and playful.
The only reason I don't have public photos as I'm not really that comfortable with putting face pictures on here. It's silly but a few years back I had a random "friend of a friend" stop and talk to me, mentioning Fabs in the conversation which made me feel a bit uneasy if I'm totally honest... I like to keep my swinging life VERY private and hope that people respect that. |
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We also really struggle to get meets with couples. Our profile is written to self select and we are selective, and do understand we may not be everyones cuppa but suppose this is the world of fab. But thought we may have had more of a respose. Club seems to be the best route but busy nights seem a tad scary. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think you need to work out what you want.
Meets, or club meets? You say "I AM NOT HOMOSEXUAL!" yet you've not blocked men from messaging you.
It's all a bit confusing "
Why would I need to block men from messaging me?
I state on my profile that I'm straight but I'm not a homophobic arsehole who is scared or threaten by someone's sexuality... I was just getting a bit fed up of the only messages I got being from guys who were asking to suck me off.
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"
Why would I need to block men from messaging me?
I state on my profile that I'm straight but I'm not a homophobic arsehole who is scared or threaten by someone's sexuality...
"
So why do you say I WILL NOT REPLY TO SINGLE MEN
Sally |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
So why do you say I WILL NOT REPLY TO SINGLE MEN
Sally "
I might reply to some men.... but I'm not all that into hooking up with single guys.
I shouldn't have to justify this as it's not really such a big deal.
Or is it?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've taken on board the advice and have given my profile a little rewrite and uploaded a picture.
Hope it reads a bit better but what do people think? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it makes you feel better OP in the 18 months of being on fab we can count the amount of meets we've arranged solely on here on one hand.
If you're not going to let your personal standards slip (and you shouldn't) it's going to be a lot tougher.
We find fab is a great place for socialising with like minded people and a way to keep in touch with people we meet at clubs, it's just another tool in our swinging arsenal. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The two pics on your profile wouldn't do anything for me and I'd delete any messages from a profile like that.
Maybe you send better ones of your face in a message but I tend to delete messages - however well written - from anyone who has pics of meets on their profile. Don't get the towel/cape pic either.
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
OP.
The "improvements" still don't cut it.
You need to get a face pic up at the very least. It's all very well saying you send out a face pic etc with every message, but potential meets don't know that, they're not clairvoyant!
But look at it this way, you need to sell yourself! But, really, lighten up!
After all, you've 12 verifications in over a year on here, more than most guys succeed with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So what kind pictures would you suggest I make public?
Any message I send is accompanied by a face pic and a full length body shot (not naked.)
I have a profile pic displayed of my bare bum which I thought was a bit cheeky and playful.
The only reason I don't have public photos as I'm not really that comfortable with putting face pictures on here. It's silly but a few years back I had a random "friend of a friend" stop and talk to me, mentioning Fabs in the conversation which made me feel a bit uneasy if I'm totally honest... I like to keep my swinging life VERY private and hope that people respect that."
You want to keep your own face pic and life private but you think it's ok to have a woman's face in your pics? Nice.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You have actually had meets though, i don't know what you are complaining About. Doesn't matter what pictures i put up, how i word my profile or whatever.... i don't even get messaged back....when i am in hull that is. Other places are better for me.
Took me a while to realise that everywhere is different, maybe branch out to other areas? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You have actually had meets though, i don't know what you are complaining About. Doesn't matter what pictures i put up, how i word my profile or whatever.... i don't even get messaged back....when i am in hull that is. Other places are better for me.
Took me a while to realise that everywhere is different, maybe branch out to other areas?"
Your a 6'3" black guy this site should be like fish in a barrel for you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just viewed your profile. The cheeky photo catches the eye so that is good. The second photo is far too graphic. I imagine some Ladies would find that offensive.
The rest of your profile is fine.
Occasionally change your status so people see you on updates and are reminded what a catch you are.
Good luck. |
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"You have actually had meets though, i don't know what you are complaining About. Doesn't matter what pictures i put up, how i word my profile or whatever.... i don't even get messaged back....when i am in hull that is. Other places are better for me.
Took me a while to realise that everywhere is different, maybe branch out to other areas?
Your a 6'3" black guy this site should be like fish in a barrel for you "
At least I'm not only one that remembers this |
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When you go to club try to talk to both male and female half of couple . When we are at club so many single guys just smile and walk past , they don't stop and say hello , my wife normally lets me know if there is a guy she fancies . Sometimes she will smile or wink to let them know she likes them . I will chat with them and if I think they are ok I will give them tips on her likes and dislikes , of you find a couple who are not interested they will normally let you know politely straight away as I would to stop you wasting time , you would need some facial pictures as most women fed up with cock ones |
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"I think you need to work out what you want.
Meets, or club meets? You say "I AM NOT HOMOSEXUAL!" yet you've not blocked men from messaging you.
"
so are you bi sexual or bi-curious.. lots of non homo's are |
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"i think you basically nailed it OP.
on the internet most people are just looking at your profile and if they don't like what they see they can ignore you.
at clubs you have a way to show off what you presume ae your best qualities, so you have more success. "
very true |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would have thought "The king of the swingers" would be quite successful?
Cal"
sadly this "King of the swingers" only seems to have a bit of success when out at clubs.
What I'm really looking for is a partner for these club visits... but that's proving to be rather hard to find!  |
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I don't know what your complaining about.
Doing about the same as me. I think you must be suffering from inflated expectations (happens to me sometimes) especially from this site; with so many pretenders, fantasists, and fakes, amongst the too few genuine peeps who don't have some messed up personal agenda's.
Keep clubing - its the real world with real people fabswingers is a virtual one -like the matrix but with keyboard warriors.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im wondering if there's any reason why I still struggle to get meets or even messages from females or couples on this site?
I really find Fabs to be quite useless at finding meets outside of the club scene, I'm guessing that I'm let down by my profile but I've tried to write that in a way that says exactly what I'm seeking, which is a playmate who matches my high libido that also indulges in the semi private world of the swingers club scene.
I have have been going to clubs since 2003 and have enjoyed moderate success by being a friendly talkative single guy, I know how to control any lascivious feelings and conduct myself in a responsible way, having the verifications to back this up but I can't ever say that I get many messages with my profile on fabs.
I think that most people do not bother to read deeper into profiles, with most minds made up on a brutally quick instant glance at a profile pic, and even if your message manages to get read. I'm sure most get deleted due to women being inundated with messages by clueless single guys that send crude one line messages asking for a fuck or countless dick shots.
I guess my profile is let down by lousy photos and my not so gym fit body? I would of thought my verifications would help but without getting the body of a muscle bound Adonis, which just won't happen overnight (or ever if I'm honest!) am I better off forgetting about meets and trying to build up a rapport with ladies that I might of seen out at a club? "
It's a long shot but maybe the people you fancy, don't fancy you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I found it annoyingly amusing to see how so many people here ask for politeness and simply straight up delete messages without replying.
It's much easier in real life, to be honest  "
Because delting is considered a polite no thanks here.
Because saying no tha ks usualy results in at least one more message |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fabs is just full of dreamers.
The real swingers go to clubs and that's where i meet people,
Couples and single ladies are inundated with messages and you can never please everyone.
not enough verifications.
Too many verifications.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""The real swingers go to clubs and that's where i meet people." Really???
Good for you but there are real swingers on FAB, like myself can't use clubs simply because they are not accessible."
Why are they not accessible?
We are both single guy's. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""The real swingers go to clubs and that's where i meet people." Really???
Good for you but there are real swingers on FAB, like myself can't use clubs simply because they are not accessible."
There's at least 2 clubs with in a few miles of wolves that accept single guys so they are easily accessible if your willing to put a bit of effort in. So many on here think that sitting behind there phone/computer is all it takes to get a meet. 90% of the people we chat to on here go to clubs and use this site to keep in touch with people they've met from clubs and a lot also much prefer to meet at clubs. |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
""The real swingers go to clubs and that's where i meet people." Really???
Good for you but there are real swingers on FAB, like myself can't use clubs simply because they are not accessible.
Why are they not accessible?
We are both single guy's. "
you're not in a wheelchair. |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"If it makes you feel better OP in the 18 months of being on fab we can count the amount of meets we've arranged solely on here on one hand.
If you're not going to let your personal standards slip (and you shouldn't) it's going to be a lot tougher.
We find fab is a great place for socialising with like minded people and a way to keep in touch with people we meet at clubs, it's just another tool in our swinging arsenal. X"
This is similar to me, I would say I have met maybe 5 people on the basis of the forum alone. Where the club scene I have met a number |
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By *ojo1964Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
""The real swingers go to clubs and that's where i meet people." Really???
Good for you but there are real swingers on FAB, like myself can't use clubs simply because they are not accessible.
Why are they not accessible?
We are both single guy's. "
Maybe you should have looked my profile, of course I'm in a wheelchair. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fabs great conundrum aha
you think you got it bad have a look at my profile
The struggle is real, pointers will be appreciated "
As you asked, here's a pointer:
"Do you like dragons? Cause I'll be dragon my balls across your face"
 ewwww |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fabs great conundrum aha
you think you got it bad have a look at my profile
The struggle is real, pointers will be appreciated
As you asked, here's a pointer:
"Do you like dragons? Cause I'll be dragon my balls across your face"
ewwww"
Not my proudest status but come on that's laughable haha |
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