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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's what I was thinking (female here) but it can make discussion awkward. Although if they don't turn up you can still have a drink or three  "
I think it's a matter of safety tbh. I normally go for a country pub where it's easy to find a table off on its own. Maybe visit a few different ones before hand so you have an idea of where might be suitable for future socials  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's what I was thinking (female here) but it can make discussion awkward. Although if they don't turn up you can still have a drink or three "
I always meet in a public place. In London everywhere is so noisy you can talk about anything, I've had all sorts of conversations in various Starbucks  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We usually use the coffee shop in a local hotel. There is a small section which is totally private as no-one can overhear and no-ome can approach without them being seen. Perfect for a social. |
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"I normally go for a social in a pub. I wouldn't go to someone's house without having met them before. "
Yep this for us,in case we don't hit it off ,or they don't look like their pics.We have met at a club before too,which was great.
Miss |
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We've has several socials in a pub and never struggled to find some privacy for chat.
We wouldn't meet at a house for a social as I think there's an implication of play there. There is always that option if the pub works out well.
With a club they can be quite expensive for just a social. Though we have met plenty of people at the VA to say hello when we have been going there anyway we just wouldn't arrange that just to meet as a social as a stand alone thing... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In your experience, what works best for a social? Meeting at someone's home, a pub, or a club? It feels safer to meet in a pub, but is the public setting off putting? Hard to have privacy etc?"
club for me ( cali) as dont like first meet at homes x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In your experience, what works best for a social? Meeting at someone's home, a pub, or a club? It feels safer to meet in a pub, but is the public setting off putting? Hard to have privacy etc?"
I like a social in a pub, normally you can find a quiet spot, most of my best meets have started in the pub |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we went to a "social" in a club. Just seemed like a normal play night...everyone just disappeared to the play rooms and left us nervous newbies alone in the bar...so we left...
we always like to go to a neutral and normal place so people get to know that we're actually normal and sociable which can be particularly important for people new to the scene. Anything that happens can then be arranged outside of the social if people so wish.
the main other issue with socials in clubs are that not everyone is going to want to comply with the membership rules purely for a "dip your toe in the water" social |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In your experience, what works best for a social? Meeting at someone's home, a pub, or a club? It feels safer to meet in a pub, but is the public setting off putting? Hard to have privacy etc?"
that'll teach me to read properly on a Monday morning, eh? thought you were asking about the larger social gatherings. |
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Bar, pub or coffee shop usually works for me. Just sit away from the crowds if it is busy, or walk past the busy places. You will still get enough privacy to talk about the reason you are there I have never had a problem. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We're happy to meet single women wherever they feel most comfortable. But with couples we'd rather go on a flirty evening date at a bar or restaurant. Here's why...
In our first 7 months we had around 10 socials with couples that led to exactly 0 plays. We scratched our heads to think of if we were doing something wrong or if we were just unlucky. It turns out it was both. We've now realised we were being too vanilla and meeting just for a few beers and a chat. As a result, we weren't flirting and making it clear when we fancied a couple. Also, by being so vanilla, we were meeting lots of couples who were probably just curious about us rather than really looking to play. So we decided to change things.
Now we arrange evening dates rather than socials, situating them in places where flirting wouldn't be too noticed. We often suggest pretending we're each with the other's partner so any flirting doesn't look too unusual. And when we go out on a social we're effectively out on the pull rather than going to meet potential new vanilla friends. For us, in swinging the friendship really starts after you've pulled. Finally, we now try to arrange it so that, if we all like each other, we're near enough to either of our places to go back, if not for play, then at least for a little intimacy. In the 1 social we've tried in this new way we've had 1 lovely play. Yippee!
So, for us, as in other aspects of swinging, socials have been a bit of a learning curve. But we now feel happy that we've got a much better approach to them and can offer a more alluring and seductive experience to future meets  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In your experience, what works best for a social? Meeting at someone's home, a pub, or a club? It feels safer to meet in a pub, but is the public setting off putting? Hard to have privacy etc?"
We always meet in a public place, pubs work well because generally nobody cares what you are talking about, just find a quiet corner and settle in with a drink and get chatting. We did host people at home first in the early days but it just made things awkward if they didn't work out at least if you all get on at the pub you can go back to the house.
we also prefer to meet people at a pub when we are travelling to them to because again it can just be awkward and you or they can feel pressured if you are already at their home. |
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