FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > No time to meet!
No time to meet!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Between work, family, friends and all the other things I have to do I'm finding it really difficult to schedule in meets (if and when I come across someone I'm interested in). Looking on the updates feed it seems like most of the site are always meeting and doing exciting things, which makes me feel very frustrated.
Is anyone else struggling with this? Any advice?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me. I do!  I try not to log on too much, can't get jealous at what I don't see! And when I can arrange fun I go for it and make sure I have a bloody good time  super sucks though, especially when there's lots of decent guys on offer.....* runs off crying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I suffer with the same thing.so you're definitely not alone. my work paterns are prety wacky with late nights or 13hr days. so i dont meet as much as i would like. some loose intrest with how long they could be waiting for a meet but I'm not worried, the impatient ones just means ive had a lucky escape! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes it is a struggle to find the time, life is busy. I feel your frustration seeing everybody else having so much fun.
Keep on in there and good luck making the time. |
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We meet once a month if we are lucky (not each other, we live together) .... but when I see people meeting weekly or more, I don't get jealous, I just wonder if they have anything else going on in their lives, work, family? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We meet once a month if we are lucky (not each other, we live together) .... but when I see people meeting weekly or more, I don't get jealous, I just wonder if they have anything else going on in their lives, work, family? "
Yes! It can take me a long time to even meet someone here that I want to meet in real life, so how are these people even meeting in the first place? Are they spending all their time searching and messaging on here?! |
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"We meet once a month if we are lucky (not each other, we live together) .... but when I see people meeting weekly or more, I don't get jealous, I just wonder if they have anything else going on in their lives, work, family?
Yes! It can take me a long time to even meet someone here that I want to meet in real life, so how are these people even meeting in the first place? Are they spending all their time searching and messaging on here?!"
Or picking and choosing clubs and socials .... could get a lot of verifications like that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We meet once a month if we are lucky (not each other, we live together) .... but when I see people meeting weekly or more, I don't get jealous, I just wonder if they have anything else going on in their lives, work, family?
Yes! It can take me a long time to even meet someone here that I want to meet in real life, so how are these people even meeting in the first place? Are they spending all their time searching and messaging on here?!
Or picking and choosing clubs and socials .... could get a lot of verifications like that"
That's true
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I don't define my success rate on here by looking at others. Their situations and goals are different. One fucking good shag every month or so does me now, and is less stressful. I'd rather be chatting to one good 'un than desperately sending loads of messages. |
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"Story of my life  not been able to get out even once for sheri time this month x hoping to go out in march though  "
Once a month for us too ... and we have friends coming over when we were planning to meet in march and obviously friends come first, so no play this month |
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By *umumCouple
over a year ago
LEEDS |
"I don't define my success rate on here by looking at others. Their situations and goals are different. One fucking good shag every month or so does me now, and is less stressful. I'd rather be chatting to one good 'un than desperately sending loads of messages."
Absolutely agree x |
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"Story of my life not been able to get out even once for sheri time this month x hoping to go out in march though
Once a month for us too ... and we have friends coming over when we were planning to meet in march and obviously friends come first, so no play this month"
Friends,family and work always come first but making me virginal |
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"Story of my life not been able to get out even once for sheri time this month x hoping to go out in march though
Once a month for us too ... and we have friends coming over when we were planning to meet in march and obviously friends come first, so no play this month
Friends,family and work always come first but making me virginal "
We are okay on that one, although many times one or the other is already asleep when the other gets home ... long hours |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i don't have the time to meet at the moment really, too busy. i wouldn't say it was a struggle though,that's just life at times. just see what happens and sure you'll be meeting again should you want to  |
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I'm in the same position, work, kids etc. My kids are always with me so it needs proper planning. Consequently I haven't met in a while but hoping to change that soon.
It helps if you don't compare yourself to anyone else. I hope you find time soon. |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
I had exactly the same problem until very recently when I decided to give up my 2nd job. My work/sex life needed adjusting and now I'm happy to say that Mondays and Fridays are my 'me' time
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have the exact same problem, Fred works every other weekend, add in family commitments and it really affects the time we have for fab fun. The last time we had a weekend without the little ones we felt we needed time for us so it's been awhile since our last meet. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just because people meet more often than you might doesn't mean they are on here 24/7 , messaging everyone or have nothing else on ."
What's their secret then! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just because people meet more often than you might doesn't mean they are on here 24/7 , messaging everyone or have nothing else on .
What's their secret then!"
Well everyone is different but for us- we don't have children , we only work Monday to Friday , we live away from most friends and family so tend to see them on weekends |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Every bodies circumstances are different, but we've always seen the "never time to meet" people as just unmotivated or uninspired to arrange meets and just get on with having fun. After all we both work long hours, have 2 children we still have time to play generally once a week, so really ask yourself, are you just unmotivated, uninspired to make the time? |
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"Every bodies circumstances are different, but we've always seen the "never time to meet" people as just unmotivated or uninspired to arrange meets and just get on with having fun. After all we both work long hours, have 2 children we still have time to play generally once a week, so really ask yourself, are you just unmotivated, uninspired to make the time?"
Yes, we are unmotivated to meet. We are out of the house from six am until eight pm weekdays. Maybe its our age, but that is exhausting. We have little time to see the kids unless at the weekends and when my oldest is down from uni. Sex with strangers will always be less important than each other, family and work .... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Every bodies circumstances are different, but we've always seen the "never time to meet" people as just unmotivated or uninspired to arrange meets and just get on with having fun. After all we both work long hours, have 2 children we still have time to play generally once a week, so really ask yourself, are you just unmotivated, uninspired to make the time?"
Maybe I am...
At least if I meet a friend I know I won't be disappointed and most of the time time is too precious to take the risk. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can only find the time to meet one regular guy at the moment.
I only get one child free night and work full time, am studying and have some other family commitments so it sometimes seems impossible.
But I wouldn't leave the site because things can and probably will change. |
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"Every bodies circumstances are different, but we've always seen the "never time to meet" people as just unmotivated or uninspired to arrange meets and just get on with having fun. After all we both work long hours, have 2 children we still have time to play generally once a week, so really ask yourself, are you just unmotivated, uninspired to make the time?
Maybe I am...
At least if I meet a friend I know I won't be disappointed and most of the time time is too precious to take the risk."
Of course, lots of us have friends outside the scene too ... we play once a month at a party which really suits us, but this month Mr is away and next month we have friends flying in for the weekend for a gig. Its no contest which one is going to be our night of choice ..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We get out to meet at least twice a week .
We have kids so have to arrange a sitter too .
We run our own business too .
It's not difficult to make time if you really want to .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I struggle with free time too as work full time have kids and am finally giving myself the time to get fit...upsets me that even when I explain that people still feel fit to waste that precious time...I think I will stick to clubs...  |
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"We get out to meet at least twice a week .
We have kids so have to arrange a sitter too .
We run our own business too .
It's not difficult to make time if you really want to .
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I think that is the key. If you dont want to be out and about that much, it doesn't mean you are unmotivated .... just a choice as to how much of your life you can or want to devote to it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We get out to meet at least twice a week .
We have kids so have to arrange a sitter too .
We run our own business too .
It's not difficult to make time if you really want to .
I think that is the key. If you dont want to be out and about that much, it doesn't mean you are unmotivated .... just a choice as to how much of your life you can or want to devote to it"
Exactly |
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"there is a difference between those that moan about not having time to meet and those that just choose to not make time to meet x"
The OP was asking for advice .... obviously she now knows she is unmotivated and uninspired .... great advice |
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Same here ... I don't have much time and it seems people don't like waiting either ha!!
I'm a fussy girl that knows what she likes and to be fair I'm pretty guilty of not responding to people but when I do that's because I'm generally interested but time doesn't appear to be on my side at the moment!! |
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"Same here ... I don't have much time and it seems people don't like waiting either ha!!
I'm a fussy girl that knows what she likes and to be fair I'm pretty guilty of not responding to people but when I do that's because I'm generally interested but time doesn't appear to be on my side at the moment!! "
Don't let people shame you into meeting or imply that you are less than because you don't meet too often ... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"there is a difference between those that moan about not having time to meet and those that just choose to not make time to meet x"
What is the difference?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"there is a difference between those that moan about not having time to meet and those that just choose to not make time to meet x"
Spot on , and this is the point .
If one wants to meet then other things need to be sacrificed sometimes .
Perhaps a night out with friends , or missing an episode of your favourite soap ?
We love to meet and play , and we also love to spend time together , and don't feel we miss out on either .
It's all about choice and what you really want
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Same here ... I don't have much time and it seems people don't like waiting either ha!!
I'm a fussy girl that knows what she likes and to be fair I'm pretty guilty of not responding to people but when I do that's because I'm generally interested but time doesn't appear to be on my side at the moment!!
Don't let people shame you into meeting or imply that you are less than because you don't meet too often ..."
I don't think anyone is shaming anyone here .
It's a matter of perspective and desire to want or not want to make time to meet . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"there is a difference between those that moan about not having time to meet and those that just choose to not make time to meet x
Spot on , and this is the point .
If one wants to meet then other things need to be sacrificed sometimes .
Perhaps a night out with friends , or missing an episode of your favourite soap ?
We love to meet and play , and we also love to spend time together , and don't feel we miss out on either .
It's all about choice and what you really want
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Exactly, thank you, if you really want to meet people you can make the time x |
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"I don't define my success rate on here by looking at others. Their situations and goals are different. One fucking good shag every month or so does me now, and is less stressful. I'd rather be chatting to one good 'un than desperately sending loads of messages."
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"there is a difference between those that moan about not having time to meet and those that just choose to not make time to meet x
Spot on , and this is the point .
If one wants to meet then other things need to be sacrificed sometimes .
Perhaps a night out with friends , or missing an episode of your favourite soap ?
We love to meet and play , and we also love to spend time together , and don't feel we miss out on either .
It's all about choice and what you really want
Exactly, thank you, if you really want to meet people you can make the time x"
Without knowing anyone else's circumstances, how can anyone say that? I know when we can meet .... and without going somewhere we don't want to or meeting someone who isn't our thing, sacrificing our family or friends, we can't. The choice is we don't want to. I don't moan about it though, and I don't think the OP was. I like the fact that we have other things going on in our lives, apart from swinging ... |
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"Same here ... I don't have much time and it seems people don't like waiting either ha!!
I'm a fussy girl that knows what she likes and to be fair I'm pretty guilty of not responding to people but when I do that's because I'm generally interested but time doesn't appear to be on my side at the moment!!
Don't let people shame you into meeting or imply that you are less than because you don't meet too often ...
I don't think anyone is shaming anyone here .
It's a matter of perspective and desire to want or not want to make time to meet ."
I think saying someone is unmotivated or uninspired when they were asking for advice is trying to shame them .... or implying if I can do it, you can is too. You guys suggested babysitter, etc., I think .... but everyone's circumstances are different. Our kids are old enough not to need sitters, but we still want those family times |
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"Between work, family, friends and all the other things I have to do I'm finding it really difficult to schedule in meets (if and when I come across someone I'm interested in). Looking on the updates feed it seems like most of the site are always meeting and doing exciting things, which makes me feel very frustrated.
Is anyone else struggling with this? Any advice?
"
I'm the same, recently moved home and between sorting that and full time work I just don't have much time or energy to meet. I just enjoy myself on the forums at the mo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Same here ... I don't have much time and it seems people don't like waiting either ha!!
I'm a fussy girl that knows what she likes and to be fair I'm pretty guilty of not responding to people but when I do that's because I'm generally interested but time doesn't appear to be on my side at the moment!!
Don't let people shame you into meeting or imply that you are less than because you don't meet too often ...
I don't think anyone is shaming anyone here .
It's a matter of perspective and desire to want or not want to make time to meet .
I think saying someone is unmotivated or uninspired when they were asking for advice is trying to shame them .... or implying if I can do it, you can is too. You guys suggested babysitter, etc., I think .... but everyone's circumstances are different. Our kids are old enough not to need sitters, but we still want those family times "
I agree . I also think that those agreeing with the OP that they don't have much time don't then need to be derogatory to those who manage to make time X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Same here ... I don't have much time and it seems people don't like waiting either ha!!
I'm a fussy girl that knows what she likes and to be fair I'm pretty guilty of not responding to people but when I do that's because I'm generally interested but time doesn't appear to be on my side at the moment!!
Don't let people shame you into meeting or imply that you are less than because you don't meet too often ...
I don't think anyone is shaming anyone here .
It's a matter of perspective and desire to want or not want to make time to meet .
I think saying someone is unmotivated or uninspired when they were asking for advice is trying to shame them .... or implying if I can do it, you can is too. You guys suggested babysitter, etc., I think .... but everyone's circumstances are different. Our kids are old enough not to need sitters, but we still want those family times "
And that's your choice , as family and friends come first for you .
But you're not complaining that you can't make time to meet .
Family and friends are important to us too , and so is swinging . It's not that our lives revolve around the swinging , but it's just as important as friends , tv , or a host of other recreational activities . And we won't be shamed into feeling bad about that |
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"Same here ... I don't have much time and it seems people don't like waiting either ha!!
I'm a fussy girl that knows what she likes and to be fair I'm pretty guilty of not responding to people but when I do that's because I'm generally interested but time doesn't appear to be on my side at the moment!!
Don't let people shame you into meeting or imply that you are less than because you don't meet too often ...
I don't think anyone is shaming anyone here .
It's a matter of perspective and desire to want or not want to make time to meet .
I think saying someone is unmotivated or uninspired when they were asking for advice is trying to shame them .... or implying if I can do it, you can is too. You guys suggested babysitter, etc., I think .... but everyone's circumstances are different. Our kids are old enough not to need sitters, but we still want those family times
I agree . I also think that those agreeing with the OP that they don't have much time don't then need to be derogatory to those who manage to make time X "
I haven't seen anyone being that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We play about once a month. We can't play more frequently than that due to babysitting. But we plan our diary with military precision and will normally know well in advance when our next playdate is. |
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"It has been implied that people who meet more often are on here 24/7 messaging everyone and don't have anything else to do "
Some people are though and freely admit it. Not sure why that is shameful? Some people go to clubs ... some people cut to the chase with messages, etc. Not sure that is shameful either .... I think there are people for whom it plays a bigger part in their lives than others. I can honestly say it played a bigger part in my life when I was single, and had less work commitments and my kids were away. My priorities have changed now ... but that isn't to say they wouldn't change back sometime, depending on circumstances .... |
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"We play about once a month. We can't play more frequently than that due to babysitting. But we plan our diary with military precision and will normally know well in advance when our next playdate is. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a couple, we've not had much time for each other recently, never mind anyone else.
We all just have busy lives, and then when you do have free time, others don't.
Think thats why we're more into the social side of things at the moment x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Same here ... I don't have much time and it seems people don't like waiting either ha!!
I'm a fussy girl that knows what she likes and to be fair I'm pretty guilty of not responding to people but when I do that's because I'm generally interested but time doesn't appear to be on my side at the moment!!
Don't let people shame you into meeting or imply that you are less than because you don't meet too often ...
I don't think anyone is shaming anyone here .
It's a matter of perspective and desire to want or not want to make time to meet .
I think saying someone is unmotivated or uninspired when they were asking for advice is trying to shame them .... or implying if I can do it, you can is too. You guys suggested babysitter, etc., I think .... but everyone's circumstances are different. Our kids are old enough not to need sitters, but we still want those family times "
Simply put as we think you've skewed our comments somewhat
If you are motivated you will make time for what's important to you.....
as an example over the last 7 days we've both worked 5 days, been to the cinema as a family once, been out with friends once, celebrated hubbys birthday with the extended family and been to one swingers party...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Between work, family, friends and all the other things I have to do I'm finding it really difficult to schedule in meets (if and when I come across someone I'm interested in). Looking on the updates feed it seems like most of the site are always meeting and doing exciting things, which makes me feel very frustrated.
Is anyone else struggling with this? Any advice?
"
Me, my time for meets is very limited. I have found it extremely frustrating a lot of times XXX |
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"Same here ... I don't have much time and it seems people don't like waiting either ha!!
I'm a fussy girl that knows what she likes and to be fair I'm pretty guilty of not responding to people but when I do that's because I'm generally interested but time doesn't appear to be on my side at the moment!!
Don't let people shame you into meeting or imply that you are less than because you don't meet too often ...
I don't think anyone is shaming anyone here .
It's a matter of perspective and desire to want or not want to make time to meet .
I think saying someone is unmotivated or uninspired when they were asking for advice is trying to shame them .... or implying if I can do it, you can is too. You guys suggested babysitter, etc., I think .... but everyone's circumstances are different. Our kids are old enough not to need sitters, but we still want those family times
Simply put as we think you've skewed our comments somewhat
If you are motivated you will make time for what's important to you.....
as an example over the last 7 days we've both worked 5 days, been to the cinema as a family once, been out with friends once, celebrated hubbys birthday with the extended family and been to one swingers party......"
I have been Way caring for my elderly mother .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All this I did this , I did that , is not the point .
The simple fact is that if one wants to make time for meets , it's rarely that difficult . The key word is wants . If a whole host of other factors prevent one from having time to meet , then these factors are clearly more important , and this begs the question as to how much you really want to meet .
Life gets in the way because you live your life that way . To so many people , particularly on the forums , swinging is low on the list of priorities . Which is fine , but don't whinge about life getting in the way , as that's how you choose to live your life !
We make the time , arrange sitters and actively meet a couple of times a week as that's what we want to do . If friends invite us out , or to there place of an evening , we often say no as we prefer to swing . That's our choice , just as it's other people's choice to do what they do |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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In an ideal world there would be enough time to do all the things we need and want to do but until they invent that time machine that's not going to happen!
Well done to those who do manage to get some swinging in. And to those struggling, you're not alone! |
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"In an ideal world there would be enough time to do all the things we need and want to do but until they invent that time machine that's not going to happen!
Well done to those who do manage to get some swinging in. And to those struggling, you're not alone!"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Story of my life not been able to get out even once for sheri time this month x hoping to go out in march though
Once a month for us too ... and we have friends coming over when we were planning to meet in march and obviously friends come first, so no play this month
Friends,family and work always come first but making me virginal "
Never in a million years can that happen.You mean so much to so many x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we go through bouts where we are more active and some where we are less, but remember as with any social media, of course the people who are more active at the time are more likely to be the ones posting so don't let it get you down, plenty not meeting at all on the site!
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