FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Is it just me ?

Is it just me ?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Not sure really where I'm going wrong,I read profiles fully send a face pic along with a message and 9 times out of 10 it's deleted without a response a ' sorry not interested etc' would do but I don't even get that , I'm starting to wonder if people are genuine on here or Just here to laugh at other , or Is it just me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not sure really where I'm going wrong,I read profiles fully send a face pic along with a message and 9 times out of 10 it's deleted without a response a ' sorry not interested etc' would do but I don't even get that , I'm starting to wonder if people are genuine on here or Just here to laugh at other , or Is it just me"

Just keep away from them with a long list of do's and don'ts. ...hen pecked before you start

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

It's fairly standard on here for guys' messages. We read profiles when we get them and place faith on them revealing how well matched someone may be.

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

It's not just you. It's a common complaint. If what you're doing isn't working for you then try something else.

Join in, be polite, expect nothing, only approach those you are really interested in and you can offer what they are requesting. Be patient.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

are you sending out a generic message?- most people see through that.

you have clubs in your areas, there might even be socials.

have you seen how many people do meet?- in most cases the verifies are real.It gets a bit silly when people ask the question to be honest, surely you have read some peoples feedback on their profiles.

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

There are about 30 threads called 'Is it me?' so also have a look at those to be comforted that you're not alone.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's not just you. But probabky not best to just copy and paste shit loads of messages. Read profiles and only message people you might cobnect with

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By *alandNitaCouple over a year ago

Scunthorpe

You simply have to accept this if you plan to stay on here. There is no requirement to reply and some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages.

Many people on here meet very successfully.

Us included

Nita

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Sorry I didn't realise there were lots of threads with the same theme I just thought I'd write how I was feeling , I've read All of the advice give thankyou everyone, unfortunately there doesn't seem to be many socials around me, I have thought about going to quest as an icebreaker but have never really fancied going alone , looking at a lot of things on here looks like single guys struggle a bit , and as for picky profiles I don't bother with the most only meet verified people , but how do you do that without meeting ? Its all abit baffling thanks for the advice everyone il try work on it

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By *alandNitaCouple over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"Sorry I didn't realise there were lots of threads with the same theme I just thought I'd write how I was feeling , I've read All of the advice give thankyou everyone, unfortunately there doesn't seem to be many socials around me, I have thought about going to quest as an icebreaker but have never really fancied going alone , looking at a lot of things on here looks like single guys struggle a bit , and as for picky profiles I don't bother with the most only meet verified people , but how do you do that without meeting ? Its all abit baffling thanks for the advice everyone il try work on it "

There's fairly regular Socials in Hull, Sheffield and York. All of which are in reasonable driving distance.

You'll be fine at Quest or any other club. Just be friendly, not pushy and don't expect to get sex.

Getting to know people and getting verified can only help.

Nita

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

One of the best ego boosts for women is fab. lt allows very average women to reject people that would never approach them in real life. Once you realise that it's no big deal.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Quest is actually really single-guy friendly. If you don't want to pay for a club then socials are an option. You can check the party/meets forum for that.

I personally wouldn't rely on this site of I were a single guy. Some do great, but the numbers are simply against you.

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By *alandNitaCouple over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"One of the best ego boosts for women is fab. lt allows very average women to reject people that would never approach them in real life. Once you realise that it's no big deal."

You clearly don't get out much.

Getting laid is a doddle in real life as a woman.

Watching the beer goggles kick in as the night wears on can be quite entertaining

Nita

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

There's fairly regular Socials in Hull, Sheffield and York. All of which are in reasonable driving distance.

You'll be fine at Quest or any other club. Just be friendly, not pushy and don't expect to get sex.

Getting to know people and getting verified can only help.

Nita"
I've seen them in hull before but not for a while il have to look into the others thankyou

I best pluck up corage to go to quest then thanks again maybe this have been enough to restore my faith in people on here thanks everyone for that

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By *oward1978Man over a year ago

Rotherham

For a single straight guy, Fab is like walking into a bar in the hope of attracting a woman, only to find that the bar's full of 100 men and 5 women. All of them on the pull.

All you can ever do is try your best. Look your best. Be polite and respectful. After that there's not a lot you can do. Women will either like what they see or they won't. Don't take it personally. It's pretty much the same for all straight guys.

Stick around though OP. Get your face known around the site. It may take a bit of time but eventually you'll get a break.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/02/17 00:17:11]

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

For a single straight guy, Fab is like walking into a bar in the hope of attracting a woman, only to find that the bar's full of 100 men and 5 women. All of them on the pull.

Stick around though OP. Get your face known around the site. It may take a bit of time but eventually you'll get a break."
thanks il keep trying

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"One of the best ego boosts for women is fab. lt allows very average women to reject people that would never approach them in real life. Once you realise that it's no big deal.

You clearly don't get out much.

Getting laid is a doddle in real life as a woman.

Watching the beer goggles kick in as the night wears on can be quite entertaining

Nita"

I didn't want to comment really but I was wondering why you would message someone on here that you wouldn't like to put it politely in real life. Maybe this is why single men struggle

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By *alandNitaCouple over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"One of the best ego boosts for women is fab. lt allows very average women to reject people that would never approach them in real life. Once you realise that it's no big deal.

You clearly don't get out much.

Getting laid is a doddle in real life as a woman.

Watching the beer goggles kick in as the night wears on can be quite entertaining

Nita

I didn't want to comment really but I was wondering why you would message someone on here that you wouldn't like to put it politely in real life. Maybe this is why single men struggle "

Very good question, and I have absolutely no idea.

Maybe some men will consider any woman if he hadn't had sex in a while and us really horny?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Possibly, thanks for the positive advice

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By *alandNitaCouple over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"Possibly, thanks for the positive advice "

You're welcome

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By *ire_bladeMan over a year ago

Manchester

It's you I'm swimming in Clunge.

By the way if you believe that you'll believe anything

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

At first I though that's why there's none left for me then read the rest

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By *ire_bladeMan over a year ago

Manchester

"At first I though that's why there's none left for me then read the rest "

Greedy twats us mancs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"One of the best ego boosts for women is fab. lt allows very average women to reject people that would never approach them in real life. Once you realise that it's no big deal.

You clearly don't get out much.

Getting laid is a doddle in real life as a woman.

Watching the beer goggles kick in as the night wears on can be quite entertaining

Nita"

Getting "laid"? Nice Americanism, cowgirl.

It's a doddle for men too in real life. Getting an attractive girl is the hard part. And as women are smaller and feel booze more, the beer goggles are a two way street.

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"One of the best ego boosts for women is fab. lt allows very average women to reject people that would never approach them in real life. Once you realise that it's no big deal."

I think for some it is. It is also a fantasy for others. If for example you're a white couple and your shared fantasy is a black guy, if you're Brad Pitt you're not getting a look in. If you're partner is the inspiration for the Michelin Man and a Dwayne Johnson lookalike offers to fuck you bandy as does a Mr Bean type, chances are the beefcake would get first dibs.

I'm fast approaching 60, my appeal is limited. Does it bother me and make me bitter, No!

If I didn't have a life, relied on Fab for an ego boost then became resentful at being rejected by those I didn't think worthy then yeah...I'd be bitter and acerbic too I guess.

But hey...

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

Like Rutherford said when he found scatter patterns .. the amazing thing is when you do get an encouraging reply ... Or even a message completely out of the blue ... Even if sometimes you get one sent by mistake lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

THE CYNICAL ANSWER

You are on a site that is flooded with other single guys, the majority of which are looking for similar things.

Average doesn't cut it.

Ordinary doesn't cut it.

You need to be exceptional

Or at least give the impression you are

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

THE HONEST ANSWER

You are one of thousands of single guys on here

Many of your target audience are not looking for you

But some are

It is finding them that is the trick

When you do find them, again accept that your message may be one of hundreds they have received that day

But still, tailor it to that profile. Introduce yourself

Be polite, be complementary but don't be crude

Do not expect an immediate response

In fact, don't expect any response

If you do receive a response, don't assume it will lead to a meet

Be courteous, be honest, be understanding, be accepting

Your profile and how it reads is important to many

Take time with it, culture it, go back to it and re-work it

Keep it current

Keep your pics up to date

Remember you won't be for everyone

Step aside from constant searches

You will drive yourself mental

Enjoy the site

Join in the forums

See what happens

Just don't let this site be your only outlet for potentially meeting people.

It doesn't work for everyone

But when it does, it works really well

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"THE HONEST ANSWER

You are one of thousands of single guys on here

Many of your target audience are not looking for you

But some are

It is finding them that is the trick

When you do find them, again accept that your message may be one of hundreds they have received that day

But still, tailor it to that profile. Introduce yourself

Be polite, be complementary but don't be crude

Do not expect

Enjoy the site

Join in the forums

See what happens

Just don't let this site be your only outlet for potentially meeting people.

It doesn't work for everyone

But when it does, it works really well

THIS

don't play the odds game and copy an paste a message to everyone, we can tell and that just makes us feel like we're just a hole to be filled.

But you're right women do have the advantage here rightly or wrongly that's how it is. I try to reply to msgs but sometimes it's too easy to just delete. Plow on, you'll get yours

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By *tew2009Man over a year ago

wakefield

Expect sfa and you won't be disappointed.....steer clear of the profiles with no verifications (if they have no meets on their profiles they're hardly likely to meet you).Lots of dreamers and fantasy merchants on here and lots who just like to chat...the trick is finding the genuine ones...

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By *opsy RogersWoman over a year ago

London

Ah, there it is, your lack of effort in 'getting out there'. Online, you are just another bloke, in clubs and socials, your personality with shine and click with someone, many men here know that they will be recected here but have great fun in clubs.

It's not something you can change but being short is also a deal breaker for many on here, but in clubs, it won't be so much of an issue.

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By *icplshropsCouple over a year ago

Rock

It may not be 'just you'. Even though you may seem compatible, they may have enough meets presently on the go.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There's fairly regular Socials in Hull, Sheffield and York. All of which are in reasonable driving distance.

You'll be fine at Quest or any other club. Just be friendly, not pushy and don't expect expect to get sex.

Getting to know people and getting verified can only help.

Nita I've seen them in hull before but not for a while il have to look into the others thankyou

I best pluck up corage to go to quest then thanks again maybe this have been enough to restore my faith in people on here thanks everyone for that "

What? OP where have you been looking? During the first weekend next month there are socials in Hull, York and Barnsley. Plenty of opportunity for you to shine in person. Get yourself to one.

Also OP if the English in your messages is at the same standard as your posts then that will put some off you straight away. Try not to make things harder for yourself.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Let me ask you something OP. Do you contact all the takeaway's that drop leaflets through your door to tell them that you're not interested?

No, I didn't think so.

You haven't asked them to drop these pamphlet's through your door. It's what's called 'unsolicited mail' and things work pretty much the same here.

Check out the site FAQ's (You'll find a link a the bottom of the page)

Site FAQ's are VERY clear about non-responses. They are to be treated as 'no thank you's'.

You're welcome.

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By *ulu99Couple over a year ago

Leeds

Agree with reading the profiles fully.

For example, you are quite short for a man but do you target women taller than you? For some, that's a non -starter. You also have a beard, again, not something all women like.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thankyou for all the advice given on here, I will attend a social or two , improve my English and I may shave my beard off thankyou all

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There are Socials in Hull, York, Barnsley and here in Bradford, all great places to meet other swingers and all within a reasonable drive from you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thankyou for all the advice given on here, I will attend a social or two , improve my English and I may shave my beard off thankyou all"

Whatever you do, do it for you and no one else

You will never attract everyone

We all have unique tastes

For example, shaving the beard will attract some but will result in others losing interest

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If someone fancies you they will reply

If they don't take it as a no thanks and move on

No point dwelling over it

Time wasted over something you have no control over

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Make a female profile with something saucy in it

to get a feel of how many messages ladies get sometimes..

Ive made a pregnant 6f6 red haired squirting smoking whatchamacallit

and got maxed out pretty quickly.. its batshit funny to read what people write u

)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OP I read your profile. You've very clear about what you are looking for. You say you want parties, clubs, group meets etc. You don't really need to be messaging people on Fab to get what you say you are looking for. All you need to do is get out to a club or a social. Don't expect anything first time, but gradually you will build up confidence and contacts, and as you gain people's trust you may be invited to join in. It's true there are loads and loads of single guys all competing for a few single ladies on Fab, but from the sounds of your profile you are more interested in swinging as supposed to one-to-one meets. Which is great - that will put you at an advantage with regards to couple and group play, compared to the guys looking for a one-to-one hook-up. Because as a swinging couple we won't get involved with guys who are predominantly looking for single ladies, which probably rules out a fair few single guys. The disadvantage you currently have is your inexperience with the swing scene, as a lot of couples prefer to play with men who are familiar with threesome dynamics and swinging etiquette. So I again I stress the importance of getting to a club, getting to know people face to face and building up contacts. Confidence without arrogance, an ability to converse, and a positive outlook are probably essential attributes for a single man achieving success on the swing scene.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/02/17 14:41:53]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always kinda wondered what I'd do if I didn't have a smoking hot wife to "reel them in"

I'd probably go one of three ways (all involving having a profile that both spun me in a good light and was well written and interesting with zero spelling mistakes/gramatical errors) :-

1) Flood my local area with a well written copy + pasted message and play the numbers game as most will see through a generic message like that.

2) Tailor each message to the profile of people I REALLY wanted to play with and suck up the 'sunk time' involved in doing so.

3) Cry lots and lots and wonder why nobody ever contacts my incredibly average self with zero effort put in + added negative forum posts telling everyone how shit fab is for good measure.

Mike

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