FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Reading messages and not replying
Reading messages and not replying
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"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think " I think that if you have ensuref that you are compatible with them it must be very frustrating. However we have a line in our profile that says ' if you attach pictures of genitals we will not respond ' and we still get messages with that type of picture attached. It cuts both ways and is probably best to let it go and concentrate on what is working  | |||
"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think " It's not rude at all. Nobody is obliged to reply to anyone. X | |||
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"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think " we do it about 25 times a day .says on the profile what we are looking for so why should we return to the peple that do not read it. | |||
"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think " Some of us get a lot of mails darling, oft they simply get buried under the avalanche of new mails that appear as soon as folks know your online, sometimes one just gives up responding as one has not got the time, also many simply dissapear off the bottom of the page as fresh mails come in... | |||
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"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think " Its only rude not to get a reply if you know someone personally and having an open conversation and even then you need to accept people are busy and have lifes . Many ladies and couples on here get 100s of messages a day. fabs only allows last 35 to be seen unless you delete . Even as an event organiser people clearly do not read profile s it's very frustrating ie asking prices or address that are in top lines of those profiles. On a personal. level you only need to spend 5 minutes. browsing thru an in box to see that a majority of messages are rude or clearly inappropriate or just opportunists or picture lookers. If you do not get a reply and you feel youve read their profile and attached a face pic then its very obvious it's because THEY JUST ARE NOT IN TO YOU harsh but true .. move on . there's NOT ONE person o this site that hasn't experienced it .. Get out in real world to clubs or socials or events and your popularity will increase ..After all cyber is just that CYBER x | |||
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"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think " Every day reply to every thread started in the forums whether you're interested in the topic or not and see how you feel after a week. Come back and tell us it's rude not to  | |||
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"Oh dear, here's another one who hasn't read the site FAQ's. It's been covered to death on Fab OP, it is not considered rude not to reply to a message on fab - and there are several reasons why." OP you have on been on this site long enough to know the rules. I have a few female friends on here and they have lives outside fab. How would like to spend up to two hours a day just saying no thanks to men you are not interested in. A little bit of empathy goes a long way and lower your expectations and you will feel better for it. Anyway good luck and do not take the reaction on this thread to heart. It's just a learning curve. | |||
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" Then block anyone who reads your message, but doesn't answer (either you don't match their requirements, or they are too ignorant to answer); "Caveat to this - if you really liked the profile check and maybe try again. Plenty of possible suitable matches message me but I delete if no effort was made. My profile says take a delete as try harder if you're really interested or no thanks. If you made effort then you can do no more but maybe try again if you didn't | |||
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"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think " Yes I agree. Plus when you can see that they've read it and then just gone 'delete' is even worse. I've sent lot of polite messages. Is it really that hard for a woman to send one back if they aren't interested? No, of course not. | |||
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"Us men might as well just delete our profiles as we are banging out head against wall." No we're not | |||
"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think Yes I agree. Plus when you can see that they've read it and then just gone 'delete' is even worse. I've sent lot of polite messages. Is it really that hard for a woman to send one back if they aren't interested? No, of course not." if they replied saying no what would you do next? | |||
"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think Yes I agree. Plus when you can see that they've read it and then just gone 'delete' is even worse. I've sent lot of polite messages. Is it really that hard for a woman to send one back if they aren't interested? No, of course not." You didn't read the site FAQ's I see. That's a bit rude too some might say. It says in there no reply is to be taken as a polite no thankyou if you'd bothered checking | |||
"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think Yes I agree. Plus when you can see that they've read it and then just gone 'delete' is even worse. I've sent lot of polite messages. Is it really that hard for a woman to send one back if they aren't interested? No, of course not. if they replied saying no what would you do next?" I'd ask why not | |||
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"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think Yes I agree. Plus when you can see that they've read it and then just gone 'delete' is even worse. I've sent lot of polite messages. Is it really that hard for a woman to send one back if they aren't interested? No, of course not. if they replied saying no what would you do next? I'd ask why not "
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 nothing ruder than the Ignorance/ hypocrites in fabland m8 ..  .don't them bother u .pinch of salt . | |||
"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think Yes I agree. Plus when you can see that they've read it and then just gone 'delete' is even worse. I've sent lot of polite messages. Is it really that hard for a woman to send one back if they aren't interested? No, of course not." So you think I should reply thanks but no thanks to every message I get from someone who hasn't bothered reading my profile?? Strangely enough I don't have time prefer to answer people who I am interested in. I have experienced too much abuse from people when replying no or it just encourages them to keep messaging. People need to accept that if they don't get a reply move on, delete your sent messages that way you can't fret over them. Read profiles ask yourself honestly do you match what they are looking for if you can't answer yes then don't waste your time messaging. | |||
"you'd better reply to everyone who posts in your topic now. OK " You didn't do it OP  | |||
"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think " Never bothers me? If they were interested they would reply? I've had couples profiles on here with female friends and if we replied to every message it would be a full time job. | |||
"you'd better reply to everyone who posts in your topic now. OK You didn't do it OP "Well that's just rude!! | |||
"you'd better reply to everyone who posts in your topic now. OK You didn't do it OP
Well that's just rude!! "that other guy didn't reply to me and he said it's rude not to reply as well. | |||
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"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think Yes I agree. Plus when you can see that they've read it and then just gone 'delete' is even worse. I've sent lot of polite messages. Is it really that hard for a woman to send one back if they aren't interested? No, of course not. You didn't read the site FAQ's I see. That's a bit rude too some might say. It says in there no reply is to be taken as a polite no thankyou if you'd bothered checking "That's as maybe, but there's nothing wrong with manners and just politely saying thanks but no thank and at least then we know. If they read your message then mark it as unread then we don't know what they think. | |||
"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think " I think it's not rude | |||
"if they replied saying no what would you do next? I'd ask why not "I was about to say something then saw it was you  | |||
"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think Yes I agree. Plus when you can see that they've read it and then just gone 'delete' is even worse. I've sent lot of polite messages. Is it really that hard for a woman to send one back if they aren't interested? No, of course not. You didn't read the site FAQ's I see. That's a bit rude too some might say. It says in there no reply is to be taken as a polite no thankyou if you'd bothered checking
That's as maybe, but there's nothing wrong with manners and just politely saying thanks but no thank and at least then we know. If they read your message then mark it as unread then we don't know what they think."why though? do you think all men have manners and don't turn abusive when rejected? i got abuse off a guy for him being outta my age ranges, but i'd left the filters open in case anyone from the forums wanted to message me, those filters are shut down now and hardly anyone can message me now. fuck manners, i'm not up for being abused just because i have preferences. and tbh all most who approach me wanna do is penetrate me with their dick anyway and what is polite about that? | |||
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"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think Yes I agree. Plus when you can see that they've read it and then just gone 'delete' is even worse. I've sent lot of polite messages. Is it really that hard for a woman to send one back if they aren't interested? No, of course not. You didn't read the site FAQ's I see. That's a bit rude too some might say. It says in there no reply is to be taken as a polite no thankyou if you'd bothered checking
That's as maybe, but there's nothing wrong with manners and just politely saying thanks but no thank and at least then we know. If they read your message then mark it as unread then we don't know what they think."Thats the whole point of the faq's lol. Read and no reply or deleted means no thanks. End of. We used to reply but got sick of more messages asking why not or abuse. I did ok as a single guy on here as I was polite and just moved on if I didnt get a reply. Looks desperate wanting a reply or pestering people. Jack. | |||
"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think " Nope not rude. Just neans you arnt for them or visa versa. Forget it and move on. | |||
"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think " Depends what your message was? I usually give equal consideration abd effort to 'wanna suck my cock' to what they have given me... | |||
"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think " Do you get unsolicited, junk mail in real life? Emails etc...? Do you reply to them all? | |||
"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think Yes I agree. Plus when you can see that they've read it and then just gone 'delete' is even worse. I've sent lot of polite messages. Is it really that hard for a woman to send one back if they aren't interested? No, of course not. You didn't read the site FAQ's I see. That's a bit rude too some might say. It says in there no reply is to be taken as a polite no thankyou if you'd bothered checking
That's as maybe, but there's nothing wrong with manners and just politely saying thanks but no thank and at least then we know. If they read your message then mark it as unread then we don't know what they think."which is fine in theory...but in fact..ive had the most vile,vicious abuse from a polite 'no thank you' from men on here than i have ever recieved in 'real' life..so if im not interested,then yes ,i dont reply.. | |||
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"if they replied saying no what would you do next? I'd ask why not
I was about to say something then saw it was you "I know you all love some follow up questions after you say no
I was going to say call you names but thought I'd start with the questions..subtle see | |||
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"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think " I think you're wrong. Next | |||
"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think Yes I agree. Plus when you can see that they've read it and then just gone 'delete' is even worse. I've sent lot of polite messages. Is it really that hard for a woman to send one back if they aren't interested? No, of course not. You didn't read the site FAQ's I see. That's a bit rude too some might say. It says in there no reply is to be taken as a polite no thankyou if you'd bothered checking
That's as maybe, but there's nothing wrong with manners and just politely saying thanks but no thank and at least then we know. If they read your message then mark it as unread then we don't know what they think.
which is fine in theory...but in fact..ive had the most vile,vicious abuse from a polite 'no thank you' from men on here than i have ever recieved in 'real' life..so if im not interested,then yes ,i dont reply.."So true.... | |||
"if they replied saying no what would you do next? I'd ask why not
I was about to say something then saw it was you
I know you all love some follow up questions after you say no
I was going to say call you names but thought I'd start with the questions..subtle see "You know us so well | |||
"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think " Because they're.... Is not hard job to write "no thanks" after opening message. Big princess etc buhaha | |||
"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think Because they're.... Is not hard job to write "no thanks" after opening message. Big princess etc buhaha " I'm a Goddess thanks  | |||
"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think Because they're.... Is not hard job to write "no thanks" after opening message. Big princess etc buhaha " but if youre possibly going to get, at best 'why not'...or at worst a hail of vicious abuse..then after a while..you learn not to bother...nothing 'princess' about that surely? | |||
"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think I think you're wrong. Next " | |||
"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think " Nope not at all. I'd rather have no reply than a no thanks | |||
"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think Because they're.... Is not hard job to write "no thanks" after opening message. Big princess etc buhaha " Here's a test then, as mentioned by somebody else. Look back in any forum posts you've made. Have you replied to every person who commented on those threads? Maybe you have or maybe you dont have time or were doing something else just then. Ps not aimed at you pesonally, just as an example. | |||
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"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think " We used to reply to All messages but it soon became obvious to us that single guys just Don't read profiles properly. And a few of them when we asked if they had read and understood our profile replied, we thought we would try our luck or say thought you would like a cheeky chappy. So now we only reply to single guys when we know they have understood our needs. | |||
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"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think " I think that people should at least demonstrate that they've read profiles. I've had five messages from men this morning who are all straight and don't suggest that they are into BDSM. If you take a quick look at my profile, you'll understand why I've not bothered to reply to them. | |||
"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think Because they're.... Is not hard job to write "no thanks" after opening message. Big princess etc buhaha " Or even 'fuck off' but they'd probably find offence at that. | |||
"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think " Yep It may appear so but if you send unsolicited messages after reading the profile you run the risk of being ignored. If I reply to a message I then open up my filters to that person allowing them to continue messaging. 
Also if we reply saying no thank you! we sometimes get abusive or rude replies or they just keep on coming back asking why.
I always open the profile first if what I see or read is not to my liking I just delete the message.
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"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think " Our profile starts off with - "SINGLE GUYS, unfortunately we tend to get inundated with winks and messages, so please don't send them, especially if we view your profile. If we want a guy, we will contact you." Every day, we still get winks and messages and are simply fed up replying. We just delete them straight away. Maybe guys should have empathy or more empathy and see it from couples and females point of view. When it's stated, "Don't message", then simply don't. It's not rocket science. I'm sure many or some couples and females enjoy/want messages, but not everyone does. | |||
"OP I get a lot of takeaway menus pushed through my letterbox. I don't contact them and say "thanks, but I'm not interested", I just throw them in the bin. Does that make me rude? What you are doing is sending out a speculative message in the hopes of getting some interest - just like the pizza shop does by putting a menu through my letterbox. If people aren't interested they will just bin it." We like that analogy, thanks. | |||
"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think Yes I agree. Plus when you can see that they've read it and then just gone 'delete' is even worse. I've sent lot of polite messages. Is it really that hard for a woman to send one back if they aren't interested? No, of course not. You didn't read the site FAQ's I see. That's a bit rude too some might say. It says in there no reply is to be taken as a polite no thankyou if you'd bothered checking
That's as maybe, but there's nothing wrong with manners and just politely saying thanks but no thank and at least then we know. If they read your message then mark it as unread then we don't know what they think.
why though? do you think all men have manners and don't turn abusive when rejected?
i got abuse off a guy for him being outta my age ranges, but i'd left the filters open in case anyone from the forums wanted to message me, those filters are shut down now and hardly anyone can message me now.
fuck manners, i'm not up for being abused just because i have preferences. and tbh all most who approach me wanna do is penetrate me with their dick anyway and what is polite about that?"Right, but you do know what this site is all about, don't you? Last time I checked it's for adults who want sex with no strings. I'm always polite and don't go all forward until I've got a feel of what the woman is interested in. I can be quite cheeky but not pushy. There's plenty of other women on here if I know one isn't intrigued by me | |||
"OP I get a lot of takeaway menus pushed through my letterbox. I don't contact them and say "thanks, but I'm not interested", I just throw them in the bin. Does that make me rude? What you are doing is sending out a speculative message in the hopes of getting some interest - just like the pizza shop does by putting a menu through my letterbox. If people aren't interested they will just bin it. We like that analogy, thanks." That's a bit different as the pizzeria is a business. We men are using this site for a bit of fun not to sell ourselves lol | |||
"OP I get a lot of takeaway menus pushed through my letterbox. I don't contact them and say "thanks, but I'm not interested", I just throw them in the bin. Does that make me rude? What you are doing is sending out a speculative message in the hopes of getting some interest - just like the pizza shop does by putting a menu through my letterbox. If people aren't interested they will just bin it. We like that analogy, thanks. That's a bit different as the pizzeria is a business. We men are using this site for a bit of fun not to sell ourselves lol" The principle is the same as you are in fact selling yourself in order to have a chance at getting your bit of fun... | |||
" That's a bit different as the pizzeria is a business. We men are using this site for a bit of fun not to sell ourselves lol" And that's the problem, we're dealing with loads of unwanted messages despite politely asking not to send them, making these sites unpleasurable in some respects, but the guys think it's fun?? | |||
"You can't reply to every message ...I try ..and I fail ...it can't be done ...well it probably can if you were crazy and your names sid Then yea " | |||
"OP I get a lot of takeaway menus pushed through my letterbox. I don't contact them and say "thanks, but I'm not interested", I just throw them in the bin. Does that make me rude? What you are doing is sending out a speculative message in the hopes of getting some interest - just like the pizza shop does by putting a menu through my letterbox. If people aren't interested they will just bin it. We like that analogy, thanks. That's a bit different as the pizzeria is a business. We men are using this site for a bit of fun not to sell ourselves lol" But you guys are in a business? A business to try and get laid in here | |||
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"Hi I've messaged a few people and they've read the messages and not replied I think it's rude what you all think Yes I agree. Plus when you can see that they've read it and then just gone 'delete' is even worse. I've sent lot of polite messages. Is it really that hard for a woman to send one back if they aren't interested? No, of course not. You didn't read the site FAQ's I see. That's a bit rude too some might say. It says in there no reply is to be taken as a polite no thankyou if you'd bothered checking
That's as maybe, but there's nothing wrong with manners and just politely saying thanks but no thank and at least then we know. If they read your message then mark it as unread then we don't know what they think."We used to respond to everyone then we started getting stupid mail like question marks, or ones that clearly hadn't read our profile and soon changed our minds. We don't get lots of mail so if I wanted it wouldn't be that much effort to respond no thanks to everyone that didn't float our boat but quite frankly I think of better ways to spend my time. | |||
"Us men might as well just delete our profiles as we are banging out head against wall." Well apart from myself I know other single blokes where we have not had a problem. | |||
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"Us men might as well just delete our profiles as we are banging out head against wall. Well apart from myself I know other single blokes where we have not had a problem." Have to say most single guys who have contacted us have been fine, had couples yesterday who couldn't take no for an answer despite the fact we aren't looking for them!! | |||
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"I never have this problem as I dont message anyone " | |||
" That's a bit different as the pizzeria is a business. We men are using this site for a bit of fun not to sell ourselves lol And that's the problem, we're dealing with loads of unwanted messages despite politely asking not to send them, making these sites unpleasurable in some respects, but the guys think it's fun??" So what are we supposed to do then? Just sit about twiddling our thumbs in the blind hope that maybe, just maybe a woman might happen upon our profiles and go "Oh, he looks nice. I think I might message him"? We have to pay on here so I'm certainly not going to just sit back and wish. Not having a pop, just saying. We have feelings too | |||
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"No Bexley, just don't message those that simply state, "Single guys, please don't message us". At least you've reduced your chances of not receiving a reply." I tend to not message those ones. It's just the other percentage that I'm interested in | |||
"I never have this problem as I dont message anyone " | |||
" That's a bit different as the pizzeria is a business. We men are using this site for a bit of fun not to sell ourselves lol And that's the problem, we're dealing with loads of unwanted messages despite politely asking not to send them, making these sites unpleasurable in some respects, but the guys think it's fun?? So what are we supposed to do then? Just sit about twiddling our thumbs in the blind hope that maybe, just maybe a woman might happen upon our profiles and go "Oh, he looks nice. I think I might message him"? We have to pay on here so I'm certainly not going to just sit back and wish. Not having a pop, just saying. We have feelings too " Not compulsory to pay Bexley.. Its a choice, just like if people choose to reply to messages or ignore.. | |||
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" That's a bit different as the pizzeria is a business. We men are using this site for a bit of fun not to sell ourselves lol And that's the problem, we're dealing with loads of unwanted messages despite politely asking not to send them, making these sites unpleasurable in some respects, but the guys think it's fun?? So what are we supposed to do then? Just sit about twiddling our thumbs in the blind hope that maybe, just maybe a woman might happen upon our profiles and go "Oh, he looks nice. I think I might message him"? We have to pay on here so I'm certainly not going to just sit back and wish. Not having a pop, just saying. We have feelings too " Think of this, in a different perspective. If, you were out and about, in bars, and you saw a lady you liked, made a comment, and it was met with a response that showed she wasn't interested, you'd hopefully as an adult, take it as a knock back and shrug it off. That's life and that's modern socialising. Sometimes, it's not smooth and easy. Fabs - same deal really. You make a comment on a profile and you might or might not, get any response. Except - today's socialising, is led by the internet, and polite niceties, and social conduct, is not generally part of the internet. You can see the way people are nowadays, by the instances of people being "ghosted" in normal life, or the types, who can only converse by text. That's the world we live in. You join a swinging website, with its own rules. Don't expect the social "rules" of face to face existence, to apply. Some may be rude, heads up their own arses, and indifferent to others, but not everyone on Fabs, is like that. Some great forum banter, blunt honesty. I would say, just as in life, don't expect anyone's pants to drop, just because you said hello..... | |||
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