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FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Polyamory

Polyamory

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

So who hear is polyamorous?

Or intrested in the idea?

We both are

Though currently only with eachother

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Always something that's interested me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We're not seeking it out but we're open to it if it happens. However, we are keen to grow a small community of friends with benefits... so maybe we are seeking it out lol

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By *olden_Road_to_SamarkandMan  over a year ago

London

Kind of interesting to me...years ago I had a longlasting relationship with a lovely couple and that kind of verged on it - we all got on SO well it was effortless...and SO hot as well...LOLQ

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By *olden_Road_to_SamarkandMan  over a year ago

London

Problem is that so few people on here are looking for good company as well as sex...it's kind of depressing

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Not looking for but something I'd definitely be open to....I'd also like a pet unicorn and a pot of gold please

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By *hetalkingstoveMan  over a year ago

London


"So who hear is polyamorous?

"

Me!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Not looking for but something I'd definitely be open to....I'd also like a pet unicorn and a pot of gold please "

Ay up (he says in a pathetic attempt at a Yorkshire accent) We haven't got a unicorn or any gold but we've got a pet and a pot

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By *LCCCouple  over a year ago

Cambridge


"So who hear is polyamorous?

Or intrested in the idea?

We both are

Though currently only with eachother

"

I don’t think fully poly, but we would like to find people that we could play with regularly and see socially. As we play together and separate, I guess that could move towards a poly relationship. We’ve yet to find such a couple that is local enough to us to play regularly like that though.

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By *ittenandthepirateCouple  over a year ago

Manchester

We are. Currently C is dating a lovely lady and I have a triad relationship with another couple. It works very well for us

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"We are. Currently C is dating a lovely lady and I have a triad relationship with another couple. It works very well for us "

Good to hear it works

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By *ammieandalex12Couple  over a year ago

Mansfield

we are!

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By *LCCCouple  over a year ago

Cambridge


"we are! "

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By *damandeve4funCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow

I have been intrigued by the idea for a number of years as I believe it is perfectly natural to love more than one person at a time. Indeed, probably more healthy too.

I have attended workshops attended by a number of poly couples and singles but never actually practised it while part of a couple (when single, I had several regular lovers, so that maybe partly counts).

My wife and I are open to the idea of meeting others for more than just pure sex (I would love her to find a regular girlfriend), but both of us wonder where we would find the time in our lives for someone else as we can't get enough of one another because of our working lives!

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By *rs and Mr PandoraCouple  over a year ago

LUTTERWORTH

We are definitely interested in this !

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Not looking for but something I'd definitely be open to....I'd also like a pet unicorn and a pot of gold please "

Are unicorns Wild or a petting Zoo anima ?

Dragons sleep on gold ?

X

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By *mmmMaybeCouple  over a year ago

West Wales

The reason we joined here was because we almost had it with a work friend of H's. Got as far as the hanging bit, laughs in the evenings, second base with the playing, almost third on occasions.

Nights in, nights out, dog walking, taking the kids to the park. Not a lot we didn't do together really apart from the deed.

Her "Let's have an open relationship" boyfriend curtailed it though as basically he wasn't part of it and his other play friend had given him the heave ho. Arsehole of the highest order

We would love similar but to have that again they really do need to be within ten miles in my opinion so you can support each other.

S

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I have been intrigued by the idea for a number of years as I believe it is perfectly natural to love more than one person at a time. Indeed, probably more healthy too.

Interesting ,

The Appetite Grows inevitably

I have attended workshops attended by a number of poly couples and singles but never actually practised it while part of a couple (when single, I had several regular lovers, so that maybe partly counts).

My wife and I are open to the idea of meeting others for more than just pure sex (I would love her to find a regular girlfriend), but both of us wonder where we would find the time in our lives for someone else as we can't get enough of one another because of our working lives!"

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By *entle giraffeMan  over a year ago

Minehead

Tagging this for future reading

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If anyone reading this lives near enough to Poole to pop down and would like to attend an evening of drinks and discussion about polyamory and other more spiritual approaches to swinging please do drop us a line... it's something we've been thinking of doing for a while

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By *gentlovedayWoman  over a year ago

Tranmere

I think it would work well for me too my mother was in a poly relationship for 20 +yrs with my dad and her boyfriend they lived together and all had the best of worlds x I think that is why this is such an easy lifestyle to embrace xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Totally interested in this. I posted a thread a while back and some really helpful info was posted. The search still goes on tho.

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By *mmmMaybeCouple  over a year ago

West Wales


"Totally interested in this. I posted a thread a while back and some really helpful info was posted. The search still goes on tho. "

Wonder how long it'll be before human cloning is perfected?

;-)

S

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have multiple partners.

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By *LCCCouple  over a year ago

Cambridge


"I have multiple partners. "

Show off

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So who hear is polyamorous?

Or intrested in the idea?

We both are

Though currently only with eachother

I don’t think fully poly, but we would like to find people that we could play with regularly and see socially. As we play together and separate, I guess that could move towards a poly relationship. We’ve yet to find such a couple that is local enough to us to play regularly like that though."

Exactly what we want

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By *kpartystartersCouple  over a year ago

Chester

We are and it works great for us.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Just another made up word for people who want to date/fuck other people while in a relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So who hear is polyamorous?

Or intrested in the idea?

We both are

Though currently only with eachother

"

Ive always been polyamorous.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just another made up word for people who want to date/fuck other people while in a relationship.

"

And your point is?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The reason we joined here was because we almost had it with a work friend of H's. Got as far as the hanging bit, laughs in the evenings, second base with the playing, almost third on occasions.

Nights in, nights out, dog walking, taking the kids to the park. Not a lot we didn't do together really apart from the deed.

Her "Let's have an open relationship" boyfriend curtailed it though as basically he wasn't part of it and his other play friend had given him the heave ho. Arsehole of the highest order

We would love similar but to have that again they really do need to be within ten miles in my opinion so you can support each other.

S"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/02/17 18:25:16]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just another made up word for people who want to date/fuck other people while in a relationship.

"

No more than monogamy is just a made up word for people who only want to fuck the same person.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just another made up word for people who want to date/fuck other people while in a relationship.

No more than monogamy is just a made up word for people who only want to fuck the same person."

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By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.


"Just another made up word for people who want to date/fuck other people while in a relationship.

No more than monogamy is just a made up word for people who only want to fuck the same person."

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By *LCCCouple  over a year ago

Cambridge


"Just another made up word for people who want to date/fuck other people while in a relationship.

"

This might not be the site for you with attitudes like that.

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By *exatooCouple  over a year ago

Bournemouth/ Fuerteventura


"Just another made up word for people who want to date/fuck other people while in a relationship.

No more than monogamy is just a made up word for people who only want to fuck the same person."

this is a brilliant come back, what a complete dickish comment

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Problem is that so few people on here are looking for good company as well as sex...it's kind of depressing "

This.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just another made up word for people who want to date/fuck other people while in a relationship.

No more than monogamy is just a made up word for people who only want to fuck the same person."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yes very open to this.

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By *ransGuyTV/TS  over a year ago

Cardiff

It's definitely something I'm interested in, but, considering I've never been in a proper relationship before, part of me does wonder if it would just be too much. But you never know, it certainly appeals to me more, especially to join a couple or group, so if it happens then awesome

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm into this, at the moment starting to meet/date someone new and it is so exciting I hope it works.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple  over a year ago

In your bed

I'd never get my head around it.

Life is full of decisions and priorities. When those priorities clash would worry me too much.

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By *inky-MinxWoman  over a year ago

Grantham


"Just another made up word for people who want to date/fuck other people while in a relationship.

No more than monogamy is just a made up word for people who only want to fuck the same person."

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By *inky-MinxWoman  over a year ago

Grantham

This is what I want ideally, though a closed MMF triad

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'd never get my head around it.

Life is full of decisions and priorities. When those priorities clash would worry me too much."

I rarely find that mine do. In the last five years or so, I've only had two or three clashes that I can remember.

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By *ade_of_StarsCouple  over a year ago

Whitburn

We don't consider ourselves poly but we consider ourselves open. Friends are great but we consider each other primary partners.

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By *arksidesubCouple  over a year ago

not far from you..

Something I'm very much open too yes x

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By *ammieandalex12Couple  over a year ago

Mansfield

the thing with Poly is there is 2 sides to it, actually no that's a lie, theres many more!

But on a serious note, where it can be extremely rewarding, exciting and fun. It can also be very hard work for everyone involved. To make it really work you need a lot of empathy for one another which can be difficult, not to mention frustrating because it doesn't matter how close you all are, you will always have a different challenges.

For us it's been a rocky road of amazing highs, and also some lows. I guess it's one of them things when it works, it's fantastic, but just be careful and have fun!

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By *s HartWoman  over a year ago

Hartlepool

I'm poly. One of my partners is poly. Another is monogamous with me. We also play with others (bdsm) in a non sexual capacity.

It's not for everyone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"the thing with Poly is there is 2 sides to it, actually no that's a lie, theres many more!

But on a serious note, where it can be extremely rewarding, exciting and fun. It can also be very hard work for everyone involved. To make it really work you need a lot of empathy for one another which can be difficult, not to mention frustrating because it doesn't matter how close you all are, you will always have a different challenges.

For us it's been a rocky road of amazing highs, and also some lows. I guess it's one of them things when it works, it's fantastic, but just be careful and have fun! "

Our snall amount of experience has been much more good than bad

So somthing to get back in time

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By *c-ukMan  over a year ago

Sevenoaks


"I'm poly. One of my partners is poly. Another is monogamous with me. We also play with others (bdsm) in a non sexual capacity.

It's not for everyone."

I need to find a poly friend to be monogamous with while she see's as many guys as she wants...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'd love a poly relationship but trying to find someone on here that wants it is damn hard

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By *aughty_nymphWoman  over a year ago

Cheltenham

Me and my partner are in an open relationship. But if we both have free time that is the same (jobs have funny hours!) when he/I takes priority.

He's away with the army at the moment and I'm

Free to meet people and so is he... one of the big rules for us is to keep the people we meet off our Facebook or anything linked to it as family and friends don't know about this part of our relationship.

We see things as "cheating" is deception and going behind someone's back so if you're open about it and honest, there is no deception and therefore it's not "cheating". Even my vanilla friends who do know about it, can see our logic there

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By *arren e treggidenMan  over a year ago

pembroke dock wales


"So who hear is polyamorous?

Or intrested in the idea?

We both are

Though currently only with eachother

"

I am it works well for me as long as everything is honest and in the open. I am on the dark side as well it's fun as I have partners from swinging and fet. Love this life and there's room for more

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm one of the miserable buggers, if you love someone? How the hell? That cock is my cock, etc etc.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Interesting thread.

The subject came up in convo a couple of weeks ago with a girl mate of mine and she's so happy.

I haven't been in a serious relationship for a few years, but the concept of polyamory is intriguing and could be something for me, as some of the issues of monogamous relationships have confused me and caused a few conflicts of morals

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So who hear is polyamorous?

Or intrested in the idea?

We both are

Though currently only with eachother

"
dr3am scenario for me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm one of the miserable buggers, if you love someone? How the hell? That cock is my cock, etc etc. "

I would never be so bold as to 'own' another human being.

Their cock is not my cock. It is their cock. And they can do with it as they please.

As for 'if you love someone'... if you had two children, would you only love one of them? If you had two parents, would you only love one of them? If you have two best friends, would you only love one of them? So why do people continue to believe that we are only capable of loving one sex partner? Some people may prefer that - and that is absolutely their prerogative. But humans are capable of loving more than one person at a time. If they want to.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I am and it works well with two but third is monogamous and currently struggling with it. It's not easy if one isn't open and trusting....and harder or I'd say impossible if one likes control. A few years ago I entered a relationship where she wanted me to be monogamous but she had others....It didn't last long as one can imagine. The irony now is a role reversal. She has settled to being monogamous.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm one of the miserable buggers, if you love someone? How the hell? That cock is my cock, etc etc.

I would never be so bold as to 'own' another human being.

Their cock is not my cock. It is their cock. And they can do with it as they please.

As for 'if you love someone'... if you had two children, would you only love one of them? If you had two parents, would you only love one of them? If you have two best friends, would you only love one of them? So why do people continue to believe that we are only capable of loving one sex partner? Some people may prefer that - and that is absolutely their prerogative. But humans are capable of loving more than one person at a time. If they want to."

I see you point and agree to a point... There is a difficulty with your analogy though as the the love referred to is very different between lovers and between friends and offspring. The 'type' of love does have a bearing on expectations and commitments that we have on others and that they in turn have on us. I think the understanding of love is crucial to this.

Just on a side note too.... We all recieve and give love in different ways...a love language....and as a result it's easy to misunderstand love messages from others. We all need to know what our love language is AND that of the recipient or the communication of it is misunderstood.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

For me i can have multiple partners who also have multiple partners but while i may love them as a friend and care deeply for them it's not the same as when I've been in love with somone.

I dont know if i could be in a proper relationship that was open.

But who knows where the wind will take us

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"For me i can have multiple partners who also have multiple partners but while i may love them as a friend and care deeply for them it's not the same as when I've been in love with somone.

I dont know if i could be in a proper relationship that was open.

But who knows where the wind will take us"

Well defined and understood ing in the difference. Most on here would be where you are.

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By *oggingslutWoman  over a year ago

Manchester

you can share love just like you can any emotion x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

I see you point and agree to a point... There is a difficulty with your analogy though as the the love referred to is very different between lovers and between friends and offspring. The 'type' of love does have a bearing on expectations and commitments that we have on others and that they in turn have on us. I think the understanding of love is crucial to this.

Just on a side note too.... We all recieve and give love in different ways...a love language....and as a result it's easy to misunderstand love messages from others. We all need to know what our love language is AND that of the recipient or the communication of it is misunderstood. "

So why does love between two lovers have to be exclusive then? What makes the love between two lovers (or... people who have sex) so much more exclusive than between two friends?

But then - your other point 'expectations and commitments'... I don't have expectations or commitments from any of my partners. Nor my friends, or my parents. So perhaps that's a fundamental difference between myself and you?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

I see you point and agree to a point... There is a difficulty with your analogy though as the the love referred to is very different between lovers and between friends and offspring. The 'type' of love does have a bearing on expectations and commitments that we have on others and that they in turn have on us. I think the understanding of love is crucial to this.

Just on a side note too.... We all recieve and give love in different ways...a love language....and as a result it's easy to misunderstand love messages from others. We all need to know what our love language is AND that of the recipient or the communication of it is misunderstood.

So why does love between two lovers have to be exclusive then? What makes the love between two lovers (or... people who have sex) so much more exclusive than between two friends?

But then - your other point 'expectations and commitments'... I don't have expectations or commitments from any of my partners. Nor my friends, or my parents. So perhaps that's a fundamental difference between myself and you?"

Point 2. Nobody is pure and therefore nobody can say they have and expect no conditions. I also find it unbelievable that you can say that your friends etc have no expectations. We all have and place expectations on everyone we interact with. Some consciously some unconsciously. To think you have and place no expectations means you're perfect, dead or do not interact with anyone which I don't think is the case.

Point 1. I didn't say it was exclusive at all.....i said it was a different kind of love....different kinds of love have different properties to them.... love between lovers is a different type of love that is between parents to children or between brother and sister and yes the expectations are also different.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Point 2. Nobody is pure and therefore nobody can say they have and expect no conditions. I also find it unbelievable that you can say that your friends etc have no expectations. We all have and place expectations on everyone we interact with. Some consciously some unconsciously. To think you have and place no expectations means you're perfect, dead or do not interact with anyone which I don't think is the case.

Point 1. I didn't say it was exclusive at all.....i said it was a different kind of love....different kinds of love have different properties to them.... love between lovers is a different type of love that is between parents to children or between brother and sister and yes the expectations are also different. "

I have no expectations or commitments for my friends or lovers.

I am not perfect, or pure. I just decided to live in a way that doesn't place expectations on others. What expectations do you place on others?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Point 2. Nobody is pure and therefore nobody can say they have and expect no conditions. I also find it unbelievable that you can say that your friends etc have no expectations. We all have and place expectations on everyone we interact with. Some consciously some unconsciously. To think you have and place no expectations means you're perfect, dead or do not interact with anyone which I don't think is the case.

Point 1. I didn't say it was exclusive at all.....i said it was a different kind of love....different kinds of love have different properties to them.... love between lovers is a different type of love that is between parents to children or between brother and sister and yes the expectations are also different.

I have no expectations or commitments for my friends or lovers.

I am not perfect, or pure. I just decided to live in a way that doesn't place expectations on others. What expectations do you place on others?"

I think we may have some cross communication here. It's difficult enough subject to discuss face to face...but online even more so.

We can love unconditionally. But that is different from saying we have no expectations..... does that make sense? I've a few friends that I love unconditionally.... a couple soul mates whom have moved on in their love....but I'll always love them irrespective. One I've met a few times since and it's hard (that's my expectations) but gets easier.

To say as you did that the others have no expectations is rather impossible to say though.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

I see you point and agree to a point... There is a difficulty with your analogy though as the the love referred to is very different between lovers and between friends and offspring. The 'type' of love does have a bearing on expectations and commitments that we have on others and that they in turn have on us. I think the understanding of love is crucial to this.

Just on a side note too.... We all recieve and give love in different ways...a love language....and as a result it's easy to misunderstand love messages from others. We all need to know what our love language is AND that of the recipient or the communication of it is misunderstood.

So why does love between two lovers have to be exclusive then? What makes the love between two lovers (or... people who have sex) so much more exclusive than between two friends?

But then - your other point 'expectations and commitments'... I don't have expectations or commitments from any of my partners. Nor my friends, or my parents. So perhaps that's a fundamental difference between myself and you?"

Oxcytocin?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Point 2. Nobody is pure and therefore nobody can say they have and expect no conditions. I also find it unbelievable that you can say that your friends etc have no expectations. We all have and place expectations on everyone we interact with. Some consciously some unconsciously. To think you have and place no expectations means you're perfect, dead or do not interact with anyone which I don't think is the case.

Point 1. I didn't say it was exclusive at all.....i said it was a different kind of love....different kinds of love have different properties to them.... love between lovers is a different type of love that is between parents to children or between brother and sister and yes the expectations are also different.

I have no expectations or commitments for my friends or lovers.

I am not perfect, or pure. I just decided to live in a way that doesn't place expectations on others. What expectations do you place on others?"

You've repetedly said you have the expectation they be honest with you.

That is seemingly the biggest expectation in a relationship

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Point 2. Nobody is pure and therefore nobody can say they have and expect no conditions. I also find it unbelievable that you can say that your friends etc have no expectations. We all have and place expectations on everyone we interact with. Some consciously some unconsciously. To think you have and place no expectations means you're perfect, dead or do not interact with anyone which I don't think is the case.

Point 1. I didn't say it was exclusive at all.....i said it was a different kind of love....different kinds of love have different properties to them.... love between lovers is a different type of love that is between parents to children or between brother and sister and yes the expectations are also different.

I have no expectations or commitments for my friends or lovers.

I am not perfect, or pure. I just decided to live in a way that doesn't place expectations on others. What expectations do you place on others?"

The very fact you have a profile with dos and donts shows you have expectations. You have expectations and conditions you've placed upon anyone wishing to contact you...or the reasons you state for going to fetish clubs are expectations. Those are just two points of many from reading your profile. It would seem that rather than being contradictory we are talking about different things when we say we have or have no expectations.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

You've repetedly said you have the expectation they be honest with you.

That is seemingly the biggest expectation in a relationship "

Ok, I guess that's the one I have. I expect my friends and lovers (who are really, just my friends) to be honest with me. If they're not honest with me then we have a fundamental problem.

I don't know if I even 'expect' that to be honest. I pick my friends because I think that they will be honest with me. I don't hold them to any expectation of that.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

The very fact you have a profile with dos and donts shows you have expectations. You have expectations and conditions you've placed upon anyone wishing to contact you...or the reasons you state for going to fetish clubs are expectations. Those are just two points of many from reading your profile. It would seem that rather than being contradictory we are talking about different things when we say we have or have no expectations. "

I think that we are not referring to the same thing as 'expectation'. Sure, I expect anyone who contacts me to have read my profile, but once we have got past the initial messaging stage I expect nothing else of them.

I don't expect anything from my partners, my lovers, or my friends. I don't have any commitments with any of them. I hope that they will be honest. I hope that they will be good people. But I have no expectation of anything to do with sex or romance. I live a very non-traditional lifestyle, very different to many other people.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

In my experience of these threads I've come to realise that polyamory is a very broad church. Not only are there a huge variety of set ups between people, but there's also variety in how people look at it. For example, some approach polyamory because they are very loving people in life and would like to expand on that, being allowed to love who they want. However, some people are very preoccupied with being free and single and actually don't have much of a loving approach, indeed they may even be cynical about if love even exists. To these people polyamory offers a way to have a series of fulfilling friendships with benefits without feeling pressured to have to "love" or commit to any of them.

As such, you shouldn't assume that when you're talking to someone about polyamory you're talking about extra love and commitment. You may actually be talking with someone who's using polyamory precisely as a vehicle to evade these things.

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By *olden_Road_to_SamarkandMan  over a year ago

London


"Just another made up word for people who want to date/fuck other people while in a relationship.

No more than monogamy is just a made up word for people who only want to fuck the same person.

this is a brilliant come back, what a complete dickish comment "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"In my experience of these threads I've come to realise that polyamory is a very broad church. Not only are there a huge variety of set ups between people, but there's also variety in how people look at it. For example, some approach polyamory because they are very loving people in life and would like to expand on that, being allowed to love who they want. However, some people are very preoccupied with being free and single and actually don't have much of a loving approach, indeed they may even be cynical about if love even exists. To these people polyamory offers a way to have a series of fulfilling friendships with benefits without feeling pressured to have to "love" or commit to any of them.

As such, you shouldn't assume that when you're talking to someone about polyamory you're talking about extra love and commitment. You may actually be talking with someone who's using polyamory precisely as a vehicle to evade these things. "

Back to conditions and expectations. We all have them even if we don't think we do. And most certainly cannot say others don't either.

Are we human....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"In my experience of these threads I've come to realise that polyamory is a very broad church. Not only are there a huge variety of set ups between people, but there's also variety in how people look at it. For example, some approach polyamory because they are very loving people in life and would like to expand on that, being allowed to love who they want. However, some people are very preoccupied with being free and single and actually don't have much of a loving approach, indeed they may even be cynical about if love even exists. To these people polyamory offers a way to have a series of fulfilling friendships with benefits without feeling pressured to have to "love" or commit to any of them.

As such, you shouldn't assume that when you're talking to someone about polyamory you're talking about extra love and commitment. You may actually be talking with someone who's using polyamory precisely as a vehicle to evade these things. "

And some people are a combination of both of those things. Very 'loving' with much affection to give to multiple people, but without believing that you can only have 'one true love'.

There are many different paths. Because everyone and every partnership is different.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"In my experience of these threads I've come to realise that polyamory is a very broad church. Not only are there a huge variety of set ups between people, but there's also variety in how people look at it. For example, some approach polyamory because they are very loving people in life and would like to expand on that, being allowed to love who they want. However, some people are very preoccupied with being free and single and actually don't have much of a loving approach, indeed they may even be cynical about if love even exists. To these people polyamory offers a way to have a series of fulfilling friendships with benefits without feeling pressured to have to "love" or commit to any of them.

As such, you shouldn't assume that when you're talking to someone about polyamory you're talking about extra love and commitment. You may actually be talking with someone who's using polyamory precisely as a vehicle to evade these things. "

Very well put. That's what I was trying to say in my first response

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'd message, but as is usually the case, us 'orrible single manthinga are blocked

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" Back to conditions and expectations. We all have them even if we don't think we do. And most certainly cannot say others don't either.

Are we human.... "

Are all humans the same?

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By *iamondjoeMan  over a year ago

Glastonbury

It's certainly easy to be in love with several people at the same time - not so easy to be adult about it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's certainly easy to be in love with several people at the same time - not so easy to be adult about it.

"

^^

Basically this!

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By *ast_jjMan  over a year ago

Dublin and London

The concept of it really appeals to me but I'm not sure how it would work in practice.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The concept of it really appeals to me but I'm not sure how it would work in practice. "

What aren't you sure about? It's just like having more than one friend.

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By *ammieandalex12Couple  over a year ago

Mansfield


"The concept of it really appeals to me but I'm not sure how it would work in practice.

What aren't you sure about? It's just like having more than one friend."

for you maybe, for us it is completely different to friendship. It is a lot more intense. Don't get me wrong, friendship plays a part, but for us poly goes much beyond the feeling of a close friendship

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" Back to conditions and expectations. We all have them even if we don't think we do. And most certainly cannot say others don't either.

Are we human....

Are all humans the same? "

Indeed were not and part of the point i was trying to make on expectations and conditions that we place etc. It'stherefore pretty well impossible to assume others don't have them even if we say we don't. We can only really say about ourselves. ...We can't even assume that though we don't place expectations or conditions on other that they in turn don't read expectations from us. It's the way we see and view others that can have the expectations and conditions formed in our minds.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The concept of it really appeals to me but I'm not sure how it would work in practice.

What aren't you sure about? It's just like having more than one friend.

for you maybe, for us it is completely different to friendship. It is a lot more intense. Don't get me wrong, friendship plays a part, but for us poly goes much beyond the feeling of a close friendship "

Love most certainly does.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'd message, but as is usually the case, us 'orrible single manthinga are blocked "

But of course... we wouldn't want to catch the dreaded single manthinga disease

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The concept of it really appeals to me but I'm not sure how it would work in practice.

What aren't you sure about? It's just like having more than one friend.

for you maybe, for us it is completely different to friendship. It is a lot more intense. Don't get me wrong, friendship plays a part, but for us poly goes much beyond the feeling of a close friendship "

I was referring to 'how it would work in practice'. It works like a friendship. You care for them, you hang out with them, you do things together.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" Back to conditions and expectations. We all have them even if we don't think we do. And most certainly cannot say others don't either.

Are we human....

Are all humans the same?

Indeed were not and part of the point i was trying to make on expectations and conditions that we place etc. It'stherefore pretty well impossible to assume others don't have them even if we say we don't. We can only really say about ourselves. ...We can't even assume that though we don't place expectations or conditions on other that they in turn don't read expectations from us. It's the way we see and view others that can have the expectations and conditions formed in our minds."

Communication is everything. I prioritise communication in my partnerships and so I understand how my partners feel with regards to expectations on conditions. I only form intimate partnerships with those who feel the same way as myself.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Great post and good to see people trying to understand others perspectives on the subject. Makes for better understanding.

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple  over a year ago

Bristol

We like the idea, but from what we have seen it can get far too messy

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So who hear is polyamorous?

Or intrested in the idea?

We both are

Though currently only with eachother

"

=======================================

I'm polyamorous and have been all my life. Probably explains why I am single But on the plus side, polyamorous individuals are generally independent and adventurous and very highly sexed with few hang ups about MMF and 121. If polyamory suits you and you are in a strong non-judgemental relationship, you should give it a go. You'll never look back. I find Fab (in the past 5 weeks) to have more polyamorous singles than couples. C'est la vie xxx, Mike

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm poly and have been for many years. My partner who is also on fab knows I'm poly. We both play together as well as apart and she is fully aware who I play with

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By *ast_jjMan  over a year ago

Dublin and London


"The concept of it really appeals to me but I'm not sure how it would work in practice.

What aren't you sure about? It's just like having more than one friend.

for you maybe, for us it is completely different to friendship. It is a lot more intense. Don't get me wrong, friendship plays a part, but for us poly goes much beyond the feeling of a close friendship "
Exactly.

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By *s ParisWoman  over a year ago

My Dungeon Room

I'm poly and very happy in a triad relationship

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By *LCCCouple  over a year ago

Cambridge


"I'm poly and very happy in a triad relationship "

What, like the Chinese mafia?

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By *oungladMan  over a year ago

Burnham

Would love to be in a poly relationship. But come from a super conservative family so don't think it's fair or would work out if I kept them a secret

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By *s ParisWoman  over a year ago

My Dungeon Room


"I'm poly and very happy in a triad relationship

What, like the Chinese mafia? "

A triad poly relationship is a relationship between 3 people with us it's 1 male 2 females together

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This is what I want ideally, though a closed MMF triad "

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By *ucyfur77Woman  over a year ago

Pleasuretown

I'm interested

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Would love to be in a poly relationship. But come from a super conservative family so don't think it's fair or would work out if I kept them a secret "

Lots of people wouldn't enter into a relationship with someone who keeps their lifestyle a secret. Certainly on being told that I have to pretend not to be someones partner if we're seen by one of their friends, I immediately say 'no thanks', I'm not into being a dirty little secret.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Would love to be in a poly relationship. But come from a super conservative family so don't think it's fair or would work out if I kept them a secret

Lots of people wouldn't enter into a relationship with someone who keeps their lifestyle a secret. Certainly on being told that I have to pretend not to be someones partner if we're seen by one of their friends, I immediately say 'no thanks', I'm not into being a dirty little secret."

It's about loving someone as you said earlier to, but truly loving someone deeply...Being in love with more than one person.

Reading through some posts above I think there seems to be some confusion about that.

Some think that being polyamorous is having a few fuck buddies.... That's not loving someone even if you only have a couple regulars it still doesn't necessarily mean you're polyamorous.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Would love to be in a poly relationship. But come from a super conservative family so don't think it's fair or would work out if I kept them a secret

Lots of people wouldn't enter into a relationship with someone who keeps their lifestyle a secret. Certainly on being told that I have to pretend not to be someones partner if we're seen by one of their friends, I immediately say 'no thanks', I'm not into being a dirty little secret.

It's about loving someone as you said earlier to, but truly loving someone deeply...Being in love with more than one person.

Reading through some posts above I think there seems to be some confusion about that.

Some think that being polyamorous is having a few fuck buddies.... That's not loving someone even if you only have a couple regulars it still doesn't necessarily mean you're polyamorous.

"

*With the knowledge and consent of all parties concerned.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Would love to be in a poly relationship. But come from a super conservative family so don't think it's fair or would work out if I kept them a secret

Lots of people wouldn't enter into a relationship with someone who keeps their lifestyle a secret. Certainly on being told that I have to pretend not to be someones partner if we're seen by one of their friends, I immediately say 'no thanks', I'm not into being a dirty little secret.

It's about loving someone as you said earlier to, but truly loving someone deeply...Being in love with more than one person.

Reading through some posts above I think there seems to be some confusion about that.

Some think that being polyamorous is having a few fuck buddies.... That's not loving someone even if you only have a couple regulars it still doesn't necessarily mean you're polyamorous.

"

Are you talking about my posts?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

This love you polys talk about sounds really diluted

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This love you polys talk about sounds really diluted "

Why?

I feel as strongly about my partners as any of my monogamous friends feel about theirs.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This love you polys talk about sounds really diluted

Why?

I feel as strongly about my partners as any of my monogamous friends feel about theirs."

I'm not saying people can't love more than 1 person. But I think you can only be inlove with one

And that's what makes it special

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By *oodmessMan  over a year ago

yumsville

Isn't most of what people are describing here just swinging, being single or more open relationships? I'd define poly-amorous being more boundaryless relationships with no clear roles as man, wife, bf, gf? Most of the above - people still seem to have their regular partners but simply share (not heckling a thread).

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This love you polys talk about sounds really diluted

Why?

I feel as strongly about my partners as any of my monogamous friends feel about theirs.

I'm not saying people can't love more than 1 person. But I think you can only be inlove with one

And that's what makes it special"

Why?

My relationships are very special. As special as a monogamous relationship. I don't see why you would force yourself to only be with one person if you like two people that much.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Isn't most of what people are describing here just swinging, being single or more open relationships? I'd define poly-amorous being more boundaryless relationships with no clear roles as man, wife, bf, gf? Most of the above - people still seem to have their regular partners but simply share (not heckling a thread)."

There are lots of different types of poly relationships.

So for example - that 'boundaryless' style of relationship is usually called 'relationship anarchy' (it has a manifesto and everything) and is proberbly the most liberal form of poly.

Then there are polyamorous peoples with primary partners, who have meaningful relationships with others (either together or apart). Usually you see words like 'secondaries' and 'tertiaries' to describe how far out the additional relationships are from the nucleus couple. (Secondaries are normally VIP's in their lives, tertiaries would be more like a fuck buddy).

And then there are closed polyamorous relationships. For example, a closed triad where nobody is playing/seeing anyone outside of that three.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This love you polys talk about sounds really diluted

Why?

I feel as strongly about my partners as any of my monogamous friends feel about theirs.

I'm not saying people can't love more than 1 person. But I think you can only be inlove with one

And that's what makes it special

Why?

My relationships are very special. As special as a monogamous relationship. I don't see why you would force yourself to only be with one person if you like two people that much."

I guess we're just wired differently. All good

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

One of the best post going on the forums at the moment

And very open interesting views

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This love you polys talk about sounds really diluted

Why?

I feel as strongly about my partners as any of my monogamous friends feel about theirs.

I'm not saying people can't love more than 1 person. But I think you can only be inlove with one

And that's what makes it special

Why?

My relationships are very special. As special as a monogamous relationship. I don't see why you would force yourself to only be with one person if you like two people that much.

I guess we're just wired differently. All good

"

Seems strange to be on a swingers site if you're wired for monogamy!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Isn't most of what people are describing here just swinging, being single or more open relationships? I'd define poly-amorous being more boundaryless relationships with no clear roles as man, wife, bf, gf? Most of the above - people still seem to have their regular partners but simply share (not heckling a thread)."

I'd see most using this as a sex site for self gratification ...Most meet for a sex then move on...Most don't want repeats and if they do its only for a couple times then move on to the next 'victim'

That's not polyamorou.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Hmm I think the very nature of love is that it overwhelms you and you become utterly infatuated with your lover. The world retreats from view and it's just the two of you revelling in becoming entangled in each other. After a while (possibly years) the dust settles and you begin to see the beauty of others again. You may not be no less in love. It's just that the love has matured into something else. It's then that you may decide you want to have sexual adventures with your partner or perhaps bring other people in on a more expansive loving basis. These second lovers can also infatuate us with sexual desire but we know it's not our primary and deepest love so we act to make sure it doesn't corrode that. However, if both primary partners fall deeply in love with their new lover then this trinity may become a new primary relationship and grow out from there, perhaps again lost to the world for a while before it entertains playing with new people. That's what polyamory is to us.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This love you polys talk about sounds really diluted

Why?

I feel as strongly about my partners as any of my monogamous friends feel about theirs.

I'm not saying people can't love more than 1 person. But I think you can only be inlove with one

And that's what makes it special

Why?

My relationships are very special. As special as a monogamous relationship. I don't see why you would force yourself to only be with one person if you like two people that much.

I guess we're just wired differently. All good

Seems strange to be on a swingers site if you're wired for monogamy!"

I have my reasons

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By *oodmessMan  over a year ago

yumsville


"Isn't most of what people are describing here just swinging, being single or more open relationships? I'd define poly-amorous being more boundaryless relationships with no clear roles as man, wife, bf, gf? Most of the above - people still seem to have their regular partners but simply share (not heckling a thread).

There are lots of different types of poly relationships.

So for example - that 'boundaryless' style of relationship is usually called 'relationship anarchy' (it has a manifesto and everything) and is proberbly the most liberal form of poly.

Then there are polyamorous peoples with primary partners, who have meaningful relationships with others (either together or apart). Usually you see words like 'secondaries' and 'tertiaries' to describe how far out the additional relationships are from the nucleus couple. (Secondaries are normally VIP's in their lives, tertiaries would be more like a fuck buddy).

And then there are closed polyamorous relationships. For example, a closed triad where nobody is playing/seeing anyone outside of that three."

It's still ultimately swinging if they don't commit to breaking ties to their formal partner. At some point 'secondaries'/'tertiaries' will move on for one reason or another, and their existing relationship will ensue.

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By *oodmessMan  over a year ago

yumsville

Not playing with semantics as I say.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Isn't most of what people are describing here just swinging, being single or more open relationships? I'd define poly-amorous being more boundaryless relationships with no clear roles as man, wife, bf, gf? Most of the above - people still seem to have their regular partners but simply share (not heckling a thread).

There are lots of different types of poly relationships.

So for example - that 'boundaryless' style of relationship is usually called 'relationship anarchy' (it has a manifesto and everything) and is proberbly the most liberal form of poly.

Then there are polyamorous peoples with primary partners, who have meaningful relationships with others (either together or apart). Usually you see words like 'secondaries' and 'tertiaries' to describe how far out the additional relationships are from the nucleus couple. (Secondaries are normally VIP's in their lives, tertiaries would be more like a fuck buddy).

And then there are closed polyamorous relationships. For example, a closed triad where nobody is playing/seeing anyone outside of that three."

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Seems we opened a big can o worms

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Seems we opened a big can o worms"

Polyamory is just a willingness and openness to feel affection and possibly love for several people at once. This is what differentiates it from conventional NSA and swinging, where people often try to steer clear of any emotional involvement.

People complicate it when they try to develop a pseudo-scientific categorisation and rationalisation of it in all its forms. It's yet another example where the appearance of more knowledge is actually less

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

It's still ultimately swinging if they don't commit to breaking ties to their formal partner. At some point 'secondaries'/'tertiaries' will move on for one reason or another, and their existing relationship will ensue. "

I think that's a very cynical outlook. I know some people that have been 'secondaries' for almost two decades. That's longer than my parents managed to be married for in a monogamous relationship. My longest partner and I are now creeping up to six years together and he's not a 'primary' - nor do I have what I think you are referring to as a 'formal' partner.

I personally see swinging as something a bit different, something far more casual. Without so many emotions and feelings involved.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

It's still ultimately swinging if they don't commit to breaking ties to their formal partner. At some point 'secondaries'/'tertiaries' will move on for one reason or another, and their existing relationship will ensue.

I think that's a very cynical outlook. I know some people that have been 'secondaries' for almost two decades. That's longer than my parents managed to be married for in a monogamous relationship. My longest partner and I are now creeping up to six years together and he's not a 'primary' - nor do I have what I think you are referring to as a 'formal' partner.

I personally see swinging as something a bit different, something far more casual. Without so many emotions and feelings involved."

You are also, of course, implying that primary partners or monogamous individuals don't 'move on for one reason or another'. They do. Frequently.

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By *s HartWoman  over a year ago

Hartlepool


"

I need to find a poly friend to be monogamous with while she see's as many guys as she wants..."

This more or less what we have. We have a D/s dynamic which changes things slightly. I think a lot of people on here are looking for hook ups rather than relationships. The clue is in the word polyAMOUR not polyFUCKERY.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/02/17 23:23:22]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Seems we opened a big can o worms

Polyamory is just a willingness and openness to feel affection and possibly love for several people at once. This is what differentiates it from conventional NSA and swinging, where people often try to steer clear of any emotional involvement.

People complicate it when they try to develop a pseudo-scientific categorisation and rationalisation of it in all its forms. It's yet another example where the appearance of more knowledge is actually less "

A message from you would be appreciated

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This love you polys talk about sounds really diluted

Why?

I feel as strongly about my partners as any of my monogamous friends feel about theirs.

I'm not saying people can't love more than 1 person. But I think you can only be inlove with one

And that's what makes it special"

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman  over a year ago

stourbridge area

Balamory.....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Balamory....."

lel

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By *eeds good lovingCouple  over a year ago

Shrewsbury

I'm cuck to my wife we have discussed polyamory and decided it will work for us she is talking to a potential boyfriend now and we have agreed that if she hits it off with him he will become part of our relationship honesty is the mainstay of this type of relationship and we are both open to him moving in with us if he feels he wants to if things work out in the future we have even discussed the possibility of the two of them having a child together for us this works admittedly its not for everyone but it is for us

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Seems we opened a big can o worms

"

I don't think you did, this has been one of the most rounded and "adult" exchange of opinions I've read on the forums in a long while. Its interesting, informative and good to see that people can air their views without resorting to ridicule, abuse, or argument ...... which says a lot given that most of the posts are from those who live a polyamorous lifestyle? By which I mean they are able to communicate well with others, a necessity in such a lifestyle choice.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So who hear is polyamorous?

Or intrested in the idea?

We both are

Though currently only with eachother

"

Grows boring but I'm quite a poly girl

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Seems we opened a big can o worms

I don't think you did, this has been one of the most rounded and "adult" exchange of opinions I've read on the forums in a long while. Its interesting, informative and good to see that people can air their views without resorting to ridicule, abuse, or argument ...... which says a lot given that most of the posts are from those who live a polyamorous lifestyle? By which I mean they are able to communicate well with others, a necessity in such a lifestyle choice. "

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By *uckandbunnyCouple  over a year ago

In your bed


"Isn't most of what people are describing here just swinging, being single or more open relationships? I'd define poly-amorous being more boundaryless relationships with no clear roles as man, wife, bf, gf? Most of the above - people still seem to have their regular partners but simply share (not heckling a thread).

There are lots of different types of poly relationships.

So for example - that 'boundaryless' style of relationship is usually called 'relationship anarchy' (it has a manifesto and everything) and is proberbly the most liberal form of poly.

Then there are polyamorous peoples with primary partners, who have meaningful relationships with others (either together or apart). Usually you see words like 'secondaries' and 'tertiaries' to describe how far out the additional relationships are from the nucleus couple. (Secondaries are normally VIP's in their lives, tertiaries would be more like a fuck buddy).

And then there are closed polyamorous relationships. For example, a closed triad where nobody is playing/seeing anyone outside of that three."

This is one of the better explanations to me. I could not fall into any of these categories as whilst I could happily have friends and have sex with those friends 'if we all felt that way'. I couldn't commit to those friends anything more than friendship.

Part of being married for me is wanting that commitment over and above being friends, to commit to share everything in life. I could not do that for my friends no matter how much I cared for them. Hence why polyamory would not work for me. I would have to have equal commitment to all partners which would mean less for my spouse as you can't commit everything to all people not even to two people.

Love for family and friends is something different again. Possibly the difficulty is we use love to describe all these different feelings. Where as the ancient Greeks used a combination of words to mean love.

Eros, Philia,Ludus, Agape, Pragma, Philautia.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Would love to be in a poly relationship. But come from a super conservative family so don't think it's fair or would work out if I kept them a secret "

Personally I don't talk about my love/sex life with my family of origin, and I am not planning on coming out to them. You are already on a swingers site, I bet you haven't shared this with your conservative family either.

You have to work out for yourself how you can distinguish yourself from your family - this is not a poly issue, it is a general identity issue for you. To put it in other words, the problem is not what your parents will think about what you do, the problem is that you have internalised their opinions, they are yours too. Conservative setups thrive on secrecy and turning a blind eye, you can always use that to your advantage.

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By *oungladMan  over a year ago

Burnham


"Would love to be in a poly relationship. But come from a super conservative family so don't think it's fair or would work out if I kept them a secret

Personally I don't talk about my love/sex life with my family of origin, and I am not planning on coming out to them. You are already on a swingers site, I bet you haven't shared this with your conservative family either.

You have to work out for yourself how you can distinguish yourself from your family - this is not a poly issue, it is a general identity issue for you. To put it in other words, the problem is not what your parents will think about what you do, the problem is that you have internalised their opinions, they are yours too. Conservative setups thrive on secrecy and turning a blind eye, you can always use that to your advantage."

Excellent points, but in my head there's a difference between a swinging and a relationship. Swinging is by nature not something discussed with the family and it's just fun. However a committed relationship shouldn't have to be hidden, but embraced and celebrated in my opinion.

Swinging is also a f you to the conservative society that's stifling but love shouldn't be a tool for that and the person or in this threads case persons you cherish shouldn't have to go through that.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Isn't most of what people are describing here just swinging, being single or more open relationships? I'd define poly-amorous being more boundaryless relationships with no clear roles as man, wife, bf, gf? Most of the above - people still seem to have their regular partners but simply share (not heckling a thread).

There are lots of different types of poly relationships.

So for example - that 'boundaryless' style of relationship is usually called 'relationship anarchy' (it has a manifesto and everything) and is proberbly the most liberal form of poly.

Then there are polyamorous peoples with primary partners, who have meaningful relationships with others (either together or apart). Usually you see words like 'secondaries' and 'tertiaries' to describe how far out the additional relationships are from the nucleus couple. (Secondaries are normally VIP's in their lives, tertiaries would be more like a fuck buddy).

And then there are closed polyamorous relationships. For example, a closed triad where nobody is playing/seeing anyone outside of that three.

This is one of the better explanations to me. I could not fall into any of these categories as whilst I could happily have friends and have sex with those friends 'if we all felt that way'. I couldn't commit to those friends anything more than friendship.

Part of being married for me is wanting that commitment over and above being friends, to commit to share everything in life. I could not do that for my friends no matter how much I cared for them. Hence why polyamory would not work for me. I would have to have equal commitment to all partners which would mean less for my spouse as you can't commit everything to all people not even to two people.

Love for family and friends is something different again. Possibly the difficulty is we use love to describe all these different feelings. Where as the ancient Greeks used a combination of words to mean love.

Eros, Philia,Ludus, Agape, Pragma, Philautia."

A point I tried to make that we love different people in different was depending on the relationship.... but it is still love...Just in a different way.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Excellent points, but in my head there's a difference between a swinging and a relationship. Swinging is by nature not something discussed with the family and it's just fun. However a committed relationship shouldn't have to be hidden, but embraced and celebrated in my opinion.

"

Yes, this. Very much this.

I'd never hide a relationship.

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By *hocolateRodMan  over a year ago

London and over UK


"This is what I want ideally, though a closed MMF triad "

wow! that sounds lovely!

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By *eanontiWoman  over a year ago

Limerick


"Just another made up word for people who want to date/fuck other people while in a relationship.

No more than monogamy is just a made up word for people who only want to fuck the same person.

"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This is what I want ideally, though a closed MMF triad

"

This would be BLISS.

Its called polyandry and is apparently usual within certain areas of Tibet. Only thing is, they would be have to be bi!!

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By *ickawitchCouple  over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

Wifey and I met another couple on here a few years ago . It developed into what we have now . I didn't even know it had a name until it was mentioned on here . I looked it up and guess what , were polyamorous .

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By *hocolateRodMan  over a year ago

London and over UK


"This is what I want ideally, though a closed MMF triad

This would be BLISS.

Its called polyandry and is apparently usual within certain areas of Tibet. Only thing is, they would be have to be bi!!"

Amazing the number of women who would like that! sounds wonderful

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Excellent points, but in my head there's a difference between a swinging and a relationship. Swinging is by nature not something discussed with the family and it's just fun. However a committed relationship shouldn't have to be hidden, but embraced and celebrated in my opinion.

Yes, this. Very much this.

I'd never hide a relationship. "

My commited relationships are embraced and celebrated enough - do they really need my parents' sanction? I think not, and my partners agree. Many many years ago, my then boyfriend and my on-and-off girlfriend were with me at my wedding - but I didn't snog them in front of the other guests What I think now is not that I should have my family's approval for my multiple partners, but that I didn't even need their (or the church's, or the state's) approval for the one partner that I "had to" marry back then. If that is what you mean when you say "embraced and celebrated" thanks, I don't want any more of it

I assume we are talking about families which overreach personal boundaries, not the laissez-faire families you often get in the UK. Sometimes you have to pick your battles, lay low when there is nothing to be won.

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By *hocolateRodMan  over a year ago

London and over UK


"

Excellent points, but in my head there's a difference between a swinging and a relationship. Swinging is by nature not something discussed with the family and it's just fun. However a committed relationship shouldn't have to be hidden, but embraced and celebrated in my opinion.

Yes, this. Very much this.

I'd never hide a relationship.

My commited relationships are embraced and celebrated enough - do they really need my parents' sanction? I think not, and my partners agree. Many many years ago, my then boyfriend and my on-and-off girlfriend were with me at my wedding - but I didn't snog them in front of the other guests What I think now is not that I should have my family's approval for my multiple partners, but that I didn't even need their (or the church's, or the state's) approval for the one partner that I "had to" marry back then. If that is what you mean when you say "embraced and celebrated" thanks, I don't want any more of it

I assume we are talking about families which overreach personal boundaries, not the laissez-faire families you often get in the UK. Sometimes you have to pick your battles, lay low when there is nothing to be won."

Its lovely that you had your boyfriend and your girlfriend at your wedding!

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By *oungladMan  over a year ago

Burnham


"

Excellent points, but in my head there's a difference between a swinging and a relationship. Swinging is by nature not something discussed with the family and it's just fun. However a committed relationship shouldn't have to be hidden, but embraced and celebrated in my opinion.

Yes, this. Very much this.

I'd never hide a relationship.

My commited relationships are embraced and celebrated enough - do they really need my parents' sanction? I think not, and my partners agree. Many many years ago, my then boyfriend and my on-and-off girlfriend were with me at my wedding - but I didn't snog them in front of the other guests What I think now is not that I should have my family's approval for my multiple partners, but that I didn't even need their (or the church's, or the state's) approval for the one partner that I "had to" marry back then. If that is what you mean when you say "embraced and celebrated" thanks, I don't want any more of it

I assume we are talking about families which overreach personal boundaries, not the laissez-faire families you often get in the UK. Sometimes you have to pick your battles, lay low when there is nothing to be won."

It sounds like quite the fantastic wedding. Perhaps embraced or celebrated is too strong a word but at the very least I want the person to know that I care about them and I'm proud to know them. But that would be so hard to convey if I can't give them the courtesy of even telling my family.

Though you're right, it isn't the normal uk family, it's a very backward, conservative homophobic family. But things are complicated so you just live with it.

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By *ixedblkinjectionMan  over a year ago

london

Been in a few that could be considered poly....

Has its its benefits

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman  over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

Would love to find this type of arrangement. I think it would suit me very much

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By *iSubSlutWoman  over a year ago

Bedford


"Hmm I think the very nature of love is that it overwhelms you and you become utterly infatuated with your lover. The world retreats from view and it's just the two of you revelling in becoming entangled in each other. After a while (possibly years) the dust settles and you begin to see the beauty of others again. You may not be no less in love. It's just that the love has matured into something else. It's then that you may decide you want to have sexual adventures with your partner or perhaps bring other people in on a more expansive loving basis. These second lovers can also infatuate us with sexual desire but we know it's not our primary and deepest love so we act to make sure it doesn't corrode that. However, if both primary partners fall deeply in love with their new lover then this trinity may become a new primary relationship and grow out from there, perhaps again lost to the world for a while before it entertains playing with new people. That's what polyamory is to us. "

I love this description.... how lovely...

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By *reakbedsnotheartsMan  over a year ago

bedford


"Hmm I think the very nature of love is that it overwhelms you and you become utterly infatuated with your lover. The world retreats from view and it's just the two of you revelling in becoming entangled in each other. After a while (possibly years) the dust settles and you begin to see the beauty of others again. You may not be no less in love. It's just that the love has matured into something else. It's then that you may decide you want to have sexual adventures with your partner or perhaps bring other people in on a more expansive loving basis. These second lovers can also infatuate us with sexual desire but we know it's not our primary and deepest love so we act to make sure it doesn't corrode that. However, if both primary partners fall deeply in love with their new lover then this trinity may become a new primary relationship and grow out from there, perhaps again lost to the world for a while before it entertains playing with new people. That's what polyamory is to us.

I love this description.... how lovely..."

very well said

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This is what I want ideally, though a closed MMF triad

This would be BLISS.

Its called polyandry and is apparently usual within certain areas of Tibet. Only thing is, they would be have to be bi!!"

Technically polyandry and polygamy both involve *marriage*, which is illegal in this country.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

As we started the thread

It is somthing we have some experience of.

While both currently dont have any other relationships we are both open to the posability. Any conversation welcome.

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By *onnie and JohnCouple  over a year ago

andover

interesting read on Google. Franklin’s polyamory FAQ

https://www.morethantwo.com/polyamory.html

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Me and my partner are in an open relationship. But if we both have free time that is the same (jobs have funny hours!) when he/I takes priority.

He's away with the army at the moment and I'm

Free to meet people and so is he... one of the big rules for us is to keep the people we meet off our Facebook or anything linked to it as family and friends don't know about this part of our relationship.

We see things as "cheating" is deception and going behind someone's back so if you're open about it and honest, there is no deception and therefore it's not "cheating". Even my vanilla friends who do know about it, can see our logic there "

This....?? Not sure I could do it though

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By *ussetdevilCouple  over a year ago

Swindon


"I'm poly. One of my partners is poly. Another is monogamous with me. We also play with others (bdsm) in a non sexual capacity.

It's not for everyone.

I need to find a poly friend to be monogamous with while she see's as many guys as she wants..."

This is how we are, works well so far for us and now just looking for a few regular guys...

Amy

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Looking for a regulay gf local ish

Would be good but dont mind travelling

Like many of the above am poly but just 1 relationship currently.

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By *uluf999Couple  over a year ago

Teignmouth

Part of a triad, we been living together for 17yers now,

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Love the idea of Mrs Retford having a second boyfriend.. if nothing else but to get some quality xbox time

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By *olysyllabicCouple  over a year ago

horsham

Well we are both Poly; we came to it after many a year, or a couple of decaded but lets not linger on that thought. We both enjoy socialising, flirting, and intimacy with other lovers; Princess is less interested in using a site as she tends to find many offers and opportunities in her work; Jive is a bit more adventurous and enjoys parties and clubs and is seeking a lover for all the naughty places. We created a profile here, and got photo verified , so that Jives own profile would at least have some validation in his presentation.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Another poly person here

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We aren't poly but nor are we necessarily cold hard fuckers either.

We prefer to have a small number of regular partners who stay in our circle as long as they wish to. And during that time we will develop a degree of friendly affection for them. Because if we didn't find ourselves drawn to their personalities we wouldn't fuck them to begin with.

It would never cross the line into poly, but it's certainly more than indifference

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"We prefer to have a small number of regular partners who stay in our circle as long as they wish to. And during that time we will develop a degree of friendly affection for them. Because if we didn't find ourselves drawn to their personalities we wouldn't fuck them to begin with."

This is pretty much how my wife & I are. We like to be with a select few close friends that we really gel with and can have repeated fun, that develops us all as people and explore new things with them.

I could easily see a poly type relationship developing if/when we were to meet suitable people.

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By *Q_GentMan  over a year ago

Manchester, City Centre

I was in a poly relationship for a while and would be very much open to being a part of another one...

It has its good points and bad points but why be limited to one relationship...and it isn't about just having sex with different people

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"We aren't poly but nor are we necessarily cold hard fuckers either.

We prefer to have a small number of regular partners who stay in our circle as long as they wish to. And during that time we will develop a degree of friendly affection for them. Because if we didn't find ourselves drawn to their personalities we wouldn't fuck them to begin with.

It would never cross the line into poly, but it's certainly more than indifference"

Sounds like you're poly to me.

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By *LCCCouple  over a year ago

Cambridge


"We aren't poly but nor are we necessarily cold hard fuckers either.

We prefer to have a small number of regular partners who stay in our circle as long as they wish to. And during that time we will develop a degree of friendly affection for them. Because if we didn't find ourselves drawn to their personalities we wouldn't fuck them to begin with.

It would never cross the line into poly, but it's certainly more than indifference

Sounds like you're poly to me."

It's not like you to label others.

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By *ames1763Man  over a year ago

Aberdeen

I like swinging because its just fun but polyamory am not sure about because it has the tendency to allow feelings to come in and that's what swinging tries to solve. Swingers rock because it's fun without the feelings

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By *ka-sammi_n_danCouple  over a year ago

nantwich

We are also looking for a man to join a closed mmf , it seems a be a tall order but hopefully one day!

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By *alfSmileMan  over a year ago

Yate

I've long identified as polyamorous. Fits in with who I am rather well

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Something we are very open to.

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By *issVeryWoman  over a year ago

streatham

Siiigh, hard enough finding one love...

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By *risky_MareWoman  over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"In my experience of these threads I've come to realise that polyamory is a very broad church. Not only are there a huge variety of set ups between people, but there's also variety in how people look at it. For example, some approach polyamory because they are very loving people in life and would like to expand on that, being allowed to love who they want. However, some people are very preoccupied with being free and single and actually don't have much of a loving approach, indeed they may even be cynical about if love even exists. To these people polyamory offers a way to have a series of fulfilling friendships with benefits without feeling pressured to have to "love" or commit to any of them.

As such, you shouldn't assume that when you're talking to someone about polyamory you're talking about extra love and commitment. You may actually be talking with someone who's using polyamory precisely as a vehicle to evade these things. "

Very good point.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Not looking for but something I'd definitely be open to....I'd also like a pet unicorn and a pot of gold please

Ay up (he says in a pathetic attempt at a Yorkshire accent) We haven't got a unicorn or any gold but we've got a pet and a pot "

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I would love to be able to have a poly amorous relationship. I believe it would be an answer to a lot of what has bought me here, however it's not something that my long term partner would consider.

I know of a few people in real life who are in poly relationships and it works incredibly well for all of them

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So who hear is polyamorous?

Or intrested in the idea?

We both are

Though currently only with eachother

"

I can certainly see the attraction.

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By *otwifeforyou1978Couple  over a year ago

Telford

Love to have one

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