FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Face pic etiquette!

Face pic etiquette!

By *nterracial2 OP Couple over a year ago

Ribble Valley

So this might sound like a bit of a rant and apologies to the forum police, but this has happened to us numerous times now we just felt as though we had to post something up. We've been asked to chat, after a few too and froeing we've asked for face pics to be met with, you first. Seriously?

We don't block newbies who are photo verified, as we all know everyone starts from somewhere, but to be so rude to reply back with "you first", it's really offputting!

Should there be a brief do's and dont's section when signing up?

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By *estmidscoupleCouple over a year ago

West Midlands

A message like that is probably the best filter of all!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've always thought that if no one has face pics public, then the person sending the initial message should attach a face pic with that first message.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So this might sound like a bit of a rant and apologies to the forum police, but this has happened to us numerous times now we just felt as though we had to post something up. We've been asked to chat, after a few too and froeing we've asked for face pics to be met with, you first. Seriously?

We don't block newbies who are photo verified, as we all know everyone starts from somewhere, but to be so rude to reply back with "you first", it's really offputting!

Should there be a brief do's and dont's section when signing up?"
If they message you first they should send face pics first.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think that if you want to see their face pics then you should send your face pic first, so i see no problem with them saying that.

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By *ynecplCouple over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

We work on the principle of whoever asks for the face pics goes first.

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By *eeriseWoman over a year ago

Manchester and that's all you need to know

I don't send face pics unless I'm interested in meeting up.

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By *dwalu2Couple over a year ago

Bristol

Is it a matter of etiquette? People can do what they want, but in the scenario you describe, you are asking them to send you face pics, so why shouldn't they expect you to send pics first with your request, if you are wanting to see theirs?

If people don't reply in a way that suits you that is a big clue they aren't for you, but Fab etiquette is pretty much in the eye of the beholder anyway. People will always act how they want here, there's no mileage in trying to enforce a rule over who sends who pics first.

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By *.1079Man over a year ago

Alnwick

I always send a face pic when asking for one I think it's just polite

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If someone asks for a face pic I think it's more than reasonable to assume that they'd send one first.

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By *ettyboop61Woman over a year ago

St Neots

If they ask you first esp from a man its their way of not sending one back if they don't like what they see.....I never send a pic first why should I especially with new people.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/01/17 16:07:18]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We go by the rule that if we message first we will send a face pic. If they are interested, we expect a face pic to be sent in return. If a face pic is not returned we assume they are either not interested or not playing fair, either way there is no point in pursuing the conversation. If it is them that message first we expect to see a face pic with first message. If there isn't one we won't pursue. We will never ask for a face pic. If we are interested following being sent a face pic, then we will send ours in return. If we are not interested then obviously we won't. Alternatively we might just 'friend them which gives access to our clear face pics. That is what we consider to be face pic etiquette. If people want to be awkward about face pics that not really our problem, as we have enough friends on the swing scene.

Mrs

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I don't think there are any rules to this one. However if someone pisses me off in a message for any reason its unlikely the meet will go ahead, so its up to the OP whether they take it further. Are the people worth a risk? Then go for it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Whoever messages first must send a face pic........

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think it's sometimes down to people's personal situations. I know myself, I always ask to see other people's face pictures first because of discretion.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Whoever messages first must send a face pic........"

That would cause issues for some people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Whoever messages first must send a face pic........

That would cause issues for some people."

I know but it just saves time....

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

I don't send a face pic first and if a guy insists then he gets told no.

Some think they can talk you round

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Whoever messages first must send a face pic........

That would cause issues for some people.

I know but it just saves time...."

But it's not practical

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why do you find it unreasonable OP?

I don't exchange face pics with anyone until I have decided that I want to meet them, if they opt to send me one sooner that is their choice. However, if I was the one asking for a face pic I would send mine with the request, to me that just seems "right". You seem to deem it some kind of right to receive them without showing yours, is that fair?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do you find it unreasonable OP?

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Whoever messages first must send a face pic........"

Must?

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By *SPrincessWoman over a year ago

Nowhere near you

This is a problem I have encountered a lot particularly with couples (not couples bashing, just my experience). They often ask for a face pic without having sent one first, even though they've messaged me first.

Those who do this give me the vibe that they feel a bit superior, after all why is it their right to demand one from me without having offered one? It's like they are shopping for the best option and just assume if they like me then it's a done deal.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do you find it unreasonable OP?

Fair enough if that's how you feel but we don't all select our meets solely on a face!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've always thought that if no one has face pics public, then the person sending the initial message should attach a face pic with that first message."

Agreed

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do you find it unreasonable OP?

Fair enough if that's how you feel but we don't all select our meets solely on a face!!"
Oh you are blind date swingers

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By *anther and gothic angelCouple over a year ago

fairy land

I'm not ashamed of my face so profile is my face lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Whoever messages first must send a face pic........

Must?"

It just shows they are not looking to waste your time... think about your best meets ever.... did you have to fight them for a face pic or number?

My first message is always with a face... I'm not looking to waste anyone's time.... if you like my pic you will respond, if not block me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do you find it unreasonable OP?

I don't class exchanging messages as wasting my time. I need to exchange messages to see if I like their personality. The physical appearance comes secondary. But that's just how I do things.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do you find it unreasonable OP?

I don't class exchanging messages as wasting my time. I need to exchange messages to see if I like their personality. The physical appearance comes secondary. But that's just how I do things. "
you are a timewaster

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do you find it unreasonable OP?

Fair enough if that's how you feel but we don't all select our meets solely on a face!! Oh you are blind date swingers

To reiterate: "I don't exchange face pics with anyone until I have decided that I want to meet them"

Like playful minx I prefer to make my judgements based on more than just what somebody looks like.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We work on the principle of whoever asks for the face pics goes first. "

Exactly how we do it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do you find it unreasonable OP?

I don't class exchanging messages as wasting my time. I need to exchange messages to see if I like their personality. The physical appearance comes secondary. But that's just how I do things. "

I don't think messaging is a waste of my time either, which is why I don't exchange face pics until I have chatted with a guy and established whether we have a rapport. It takes more than a face/body to make me want to meet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do you find it unreasonable OP?

Fair enough if that's how you feel but we don't all select our meets solely on a face!! Oh you are blind date swingers

To reiterate: "I don't exchange face pics with anyone until I have decided that I want to meet them"

Like playful minx I prefer to make my judgements based on more than just what somebody looks like. "
So what happens if the guy is 1 charming motherfucker but looks like the elephant man you don't feel you wasted your time? You are giving false hope also which isn't nice.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

if we ask people for face pics and they are not forthcoming, they're not for us and we move on...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We don't block newbies who are photo verified, as we all know everyone starts from somewhere, but to be so rude to reply back with "you first", it's really offputting!

Should there be a brief do's and dont's section when signing up?"

Why would you ask for a face pic without sending one first? If you've been chatting for a while and get on then just send a pic. If they like the look of you then they'll send one back. It's really that simple.

I can't believe you've got the nerve to rant over such a hypocritical situation that you've created.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tend to ignore the requests for a pic without their's attached now. Far too many timewasters/pic collectors/nosey peeps/ and the people that would never meet you unless you looked like Brad Pitt.

(Yes I do.. if you squint at me from behind)

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By *andi_shopWoman over a year ago

rotherham

I ask for a face pic with initial message, if they don't send one and I'm curious I'll ask for one. I don't send my face pic unless I'm interested in theirs

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By *ammerandthongsCouple over a year ago

Limerick

We don't send them but normally tell people that and explain we don't expect theirs either. We prefer chat on phone first to see others who they say they are and take it from there.

Amy and Gareth

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By *ittlemisssassypantsCouple over a year ago

South East Wales

If we message someone we always attach a face pic with the very first message- then they don't even have to respond if they're not interested.

We would then appreciate theirs on their return message (if there is one) but if they don't then after a few messages, and no pic, we would usually ask for them then. Majority tend to reply with a pics without us asking though.

If someone messages us first, regardless of whether or not they've attached a pic, we also then reply with our pics.

To me the sooner face pics are exchanged the better as it saves wasting time messaging back and forth if either/both/or ends up not interested.

What annoys me most though is when we send face pics, and then the couple replies asking for our email address to send theirs as they can't/won't send theirs via fab

that's irritating but not so much that I would rant on about it.

Sassy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We don't send them but normally tell people that and explain we don't expect theirs either. We prefer chat on phone first to see others who they say they are and take it from there.

Amy and Gareth"

How has this worked out for you guys?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If we message someone we always attach a face pic with the very first message- then they don't even have to respond if they're not interested.

If someone messages us first, regardless of whether or not they've attached a pic, we also then reply with our pics.

To me the sooner face pics are exchanged the better as it saves wasting time messaging back and forth if either/both/or ends up not interested.

What annoys me most though is when we send face pics, and then the couple replies asking for our email address to send theirs as they can't/won't send theirs via fab

that's irritating but not so much that I would rant on about it.

Sassy "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If we message someone we always attach a face pic with the very first message- then they don't even have to respond if they're not interested.

If someone messages us first, regardless of whether or not they've attached a pic, we also then reply with our pics.

To me the sooner face pics are exchanged the better as it saves wasting time messaging back and forth if either/both/or ends up not interested.

What annoys me most though is when we send face pics, and then the couple replies asking for our email address to send theirs as they can't/won't send theirs via fab

that's irritating but not so much that I would rant on about it.

Sassy "
you are genuine swingers

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We get guys messaging us saying they will send a face pic if we are interested. But we think we don't know if we are interested if we don't know what they look like. I supppose some would say chat first and see if there is a connection that way. But I don't really like on-line chatting. In all honesty the only times we've ever arranged a meet is when I see a face that I really really fancy. It's different in clubs or parties - I can become attracted to someone based on their personality which may override their looks. But I feel all I have when on line is the face. So the face I must see.

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By *oodnitegirlWoman over a year ago

Yorkshire

For all those saying 'i only ask/send a face pic if I'm interested in meeting them'. How long do you wait to ask. Like, call me shallow but I don't wanna get into deep conversation if they send a pic and I'm like 'hellllll noooooo'. That makes for an awkward predicament.

I'd rather them just got it over with from the get go!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"For all those saying 'i only ask/send a face pic if I'm interested in meeting them'. How long do you wait to ask. Like, call me shallow but I don't wanna get into deep conversation if they send a pic and I'm like 'hellllll noooooo'. That makes for an awkward predicament.

I'd rather them just got it over with from the get go! "
Yes rejection is best done quickly without false hope.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think that the person who has initiated contact should send a face pic. Shouldn't even need to ask for it I don't think.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple over a year ago

In your bed

We are not always looking to meet, so when some people say hi and want a facepic. Whether we liked them or not it could be months before we met.

I think this thread demonstrates there is no standard etiquette for face pics.

From the OP down, everyone has different expectations.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We don't block newbies who are photo verified, as we all know everyone starts from somewhere, but to be so rude to reply back with "you first", it's really offputting!

Should there be a brief do's and dont's section when signing up?"

Who contacted who first?

Personally I think whoever made the first contact should be the one who shows face pics first.

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By *umpleteazerWoman over a year ago

Flintshire

"We get guys messaging us saying they will send a face pic if we are interested. But we think we don't know if we are interested if we don't know what they look like. I supppose some would say chat first and see if there is a connection that way. But I don't really like on-line chatting. In all honesty the only times we've ever arranged a meet is when I see a face that I really really fancy. It's different in clubs or parties - I can become attracted to someone based on their personality which may override their looks. But I feel all I have when on line is the face. So the face I must see. "

Me too

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By *ilentgirlWoman over a year ago

That place in

I have it on my profile that if we plan to meet the man much show me his photo 1st

Mainly as what if I know know, I trust me but would I trust the sender to keep my private life private

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've always thought that if no one has face pics public, then the person sending the initial message should attach a face pic with that first message."

Agree

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do you find it unreasonable OP?

Yes I know. I'm all talk and no action. I never meet anyone

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I agree, normally first break the ice should send first, I would also say from my experience you as a couple are in the driving seat, and someone like myself on the single side should and want to provide, especially after a few messages.

I would then like to mention as happened once and was so gutted. If face pic not your cup of tea or someone you know/ recognise and don't want too go there, if been messages always worth message just saying not for us etc.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We don't block newbies who are photo verified, as we all know everyone starts from somewhere, but to be so rude to reply back with "you first", it's really offputting!

Should there be a brief do's and dont's section when signing up?"

We had the same with a couple recently despite us being far more verified than they are.

They asked to take the convo to kik to exchange pics which we don't like to do but we did nonetheless..

They then said 'you first' when the kil convo was started. Annoying but we sent the picture. They sent back a face pic that was unclear and didn't show the full faces. They then said they are wary of sending face pics so would rather not send another.

That was a 'no thanks' for us.

Shalln't be messing around anymore.

Eve. X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd rather them just got it over with from the get go! "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was talking to someone on here (only a few messages back and forth) they asked for my face pic so i sent it them. Never thought of myself as ugly until they blocked me

So i send my facepic in first message now. Better for the ol ego

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By *iscreet UnicornWoman over a year ago

Windsor-ish

We happily send face pics if people ask or sometimes first

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We never send face pics. We always meet socially first to see if we all want to play and then arrange the meet. Often we meet at clubs anyway so obviously see what the person is like.

It works well for us and has never neen a problem to the guys we meet

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple over a year ago

Leicestershire

Generally when we ask for face pics we send ours on the msg asking. Our face pictures prove othing they can do what they want with them. So we don't see the harm in sending them, if they don't reply or do t send theirs then clearly they're not interested.

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By *opsy RogersWoman over a year ago

London

"I've always thought that if no one has face pics public, then the person sending the initial message should attach a face pic with that first message."

Yep, me too. I don't send many first messages but if I do, I attach my face picture. I don't have any conversation without seeing a face.

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By *imetoexplore69Couple over a year ago

Aberdeen

"We never send face pics. We always meet socially first to see if we all want to play and then arrange the meet. Often we meet at clubs anyway so obviously see what the person is like.

It works well for us and has never neen a problem to the guys we meet

"
yup that's how we do things also.far to many weirdo blokes on here trying to pass themselves as females or couples.if you like the feel of the situation just meet them and if they aren't what you are looking for just don't take things further and enjoy your nite regardless.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've always thought that if no one has face pics public, then the person sending the initial message should attach a face pic with that first message.

Yep, me too. I don't send many first messages but if I do, I attach my face picture. I don't have any conversation without seeing& a face."

Agree, I find it very strange having a conversation with someone when I don't know what they look like. To me that's unnatural.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We never send face pics. We always meet socially first to see if we all want to play and then arrange the meet. Often we meet at clubs anyway so obviously see what the person is like.

It works well for us and has never neen a problem to the guys we meet

yup that's how we do things also.far to many weirdo blokes on here trying to pass themselves as females or couples.if you like the feel of the situation just meet them and if they aren't what you are looking for just don't take things further and enjoy your nite regardless."

For us, our time is way too limited to risk meeting someone that we may not fancy. When we meet, we meet to eventually play. If we get it wrong that's a waste of babysitting that could have been used for play with someone else. So we have to know what they look like. Besides we would hate to go through all the effort of getting ready, arranging babysitting, juggling our diary, saying no to other possibilities, only to find we don't fancy them.

Mrs

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By *imetoexplore69Couple over a year ago

Aberdeen

"We never send face pics. We always meet socially first to see if we all want to play and then arrange the meet. Often we meet at clubs anyway so obviously see what the person is like.

It works well for us and has never neen a problem to the guys we meet

Mrs"
yep know where you are coming from we have been let down a couple times.that's why when we are ment to be meeting.....I know this sounds a bit shallow but we have a back up. (someone we have met a couple times so know what to expect).

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We never send face pics. We always meet socially first to see if we all want to play and then arrange the meet. Often we meet at clubs anyway so obviously see what the person is like.

It works well for us and has never neen a problem to the guys we meet

Mrsyep know where you are coming from we have been let down a couple times.that's why when we are ment to be meeting.....I know this sounds a bit shallow but we have a back up. (someone we have met a couple times so know what to expect)."

Don't think we would get away with that. We have 2 guys we play with who we consider reliable. I don't think they'd ever be free at the last minute though.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We don't block newbies who are photo verified, as we all know everyone starts from somewhere, but to be so rude to reply back with "you first", it's really offputting!

Should there be a brief do's and dont's section when signing up?"

There is a challenge with text talk I think. It is very easy to sound rude or aggressive by simply being economical with words, that being said, if they had been lucky enough to get a text chat going with you then I think they should have been brave enough to send a face pic when you requested it.

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By *imetoexplore69Couple over a year ago

Aberdeen

"We never send face pics. We always meet socially first to see if we all want to play and then arrange the meet. Often we meet at clubs anyway so obviously see what the person is like.

It works well for us and has never neen a problem to the guys we meet

Don't think we would get away with that. We have 2 guys we play with who we consider reliable. I don't think they'd ever be free at the last minute though."
u need to find yourselfs a guy who works night shift and is olso the boss so can be "on call" haha.a rare find.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We don't block newbies who are photo verified, as we all know everyone starts from somewhere, but to be so rude to reply back with "you first", it's really offputting!

Should there be a brief do's and dont's section when signing up?"

If you wanted to see our face pics I would expect a message with your face pics first asking to then see ours, if we wanted to see yours we would send ours with the same message

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