FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Vanilla dating and 'magic numbers'
Vanilla dating and 'magic numbers'
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Hopefully this is in the right section!
Just wondering how people handle vanilla dating, when the other person asks you how many sexual partners you have had?
Been speaking to a guy for a while now. He asked me how many people i have slept with so i told him. Apparently he is now 'a little bit put off' me.
Should i have lied? Told the truth and obviously lost the chance to meet him?
(I dont think my number is even that high)
Wondering what other people do? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hopefully this is in the right section!
Just wondering how people handle vanilla dating, when the other person asks you how many sexual partners you have had?
Been speaking to a guy for a while now. He asked me how many people i have slept with so i told him. Apparently he is now 'a little bit put off' me.
Should i have lied? Told the truth and obviously lost the chance to meet him?
(I dont think my number is even that high)
Wondering what other people do?"
Yeah he doesnt see it as potential wife/mother material it is his preference. General rule is divide men's numbers by 3 and times womens numbers by 3 to get a more honest number. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
ask him why he thinks that's his business.
my exes never asked until after we got together. one thought i was a slag yet he was cheating on me with other women, the other didn't care and only emotionally cheated on me after a miscarriage we had.
any man who thinks you're not this and that or are this and that because of previous partner is judgmental. he should be interested in the you that you are now and the couple you might become. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hopefully this is in the right section!
Just wondering how people handle vanilla dating, when the other person asks you how many sexual partners you have had?
Been speaking to a guy for a while now. He asked me how many people i have slept with so i told him. Apparently he is now 'a little bit put off' me.
Should i have lied? Told the truth and obviously lost the chance to meet him?
(I dont think my number is even that high)
Wondering what other people do? Yeah he doesnt see it as potential wife/mother material it is his preference. General rule is divide men's numbers by 3 and times womens numbers by 3 to get a more honest number."
Ah the number logic of the American Pie film, may have to watch that again now.
Op, best thing Is tell them the truth otherwise your just starting any potential relationship based on a lie |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hopefully this is in the right section!
Just wondering how people handle vanilla dating, when the other person asks you how many sexual partners you have had?
Been speaking to a guy for a while now. He asked me how many people i have slept with so i told him. Apparently he is now 'a little bit put off' me.
Should i have lied? Told the truth and obviously lost the chance to meet him?
(I dont think my number is even that high)
Wondering what other people do? Yeah he doesnt see it as potential wife/mother material it is his preference. General rule is divide men's numbers by 3 and times womens numbers by 3 to get a more honest number.
Ah the number logic of the American Pie film, may have to watch that again now.
Op, best thing Is tell them the truth otherwise your just starting any potential relationship based on a lie"
Well this is what i thought! Why start lying at the beginning. Ahhh well lesson learnt  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hopefully this is in the right section!
Just wondering how people handle vanilla dating, when the other person asks you how many sexual partners you have had?
Been speaking to a guy for a while now. He asked me how many people i have slept with so i told him. Apparently he is now 'a little bit put off' me.
Should i have lied? Told the truth and obviously lost the chance to meet him?
(I dont think my number is even that high)
Wondering what other people do? Yeah he doesnt see it as potential wife/mother material it is his preference. General rule is divide men's numbers by 3 and times womens numbers by 3 to get a more honest number.
Ah the number logic of the American Pie film, may have to watch that again now.
Op, best thing Is tell them the truth otherwise your just starting any potential relationship based on a lie"
Bingo  A lkt of men are Hippocrates and have double standards, women should know this by now |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"Hopefully this is in the right section!
Just wondering how people handle vanilla dating, when the other person asks you how many sexual partners you have had?
Been speaking to a guy for a while now. He asked me how many people i have slept with so i told him. Apparently he is now 'a little bit put off' me.
Should i have lied? Told the truth and obviously lost the chance to meet him?
(I dont think my number is even that high)
Wondering what other people do?"
I would tell him that it is none of his business and he can take a hike |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I have so much to learn
I actually feel stupid and ashamed now. Being seen in a bad light for stuff that gives you enjoyment hurts 
Thank you for the replies x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"ask him why he thinks that's his business.
my exes never asked until after we got together. one thought i was a slag yet he was cheating on me with other women, the other didn't care and only emotionally cheated on me after a miscarriage we had.
any man who thinks you're not this and that or are this and that because of previous partner is judgmental. he should be interested in the you that you are now and the couple you might become."
To be honest it was in a conversation we were having about our likes/dislikes and experiences. It wasn't just a random question so it wasnt that he asked just more his reaction. Sorry i should have said that in my op |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
To be fair if I asked a woman how many men she had slept with and the number was high, I would think xmas and birthday had happened at once. To me it would signify that the lady in question had a healthy interest in sex which can only be a good thing.. xxxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Well I'm dating a woman now (not bf and gf status) and I already told her I was on the swinging scene so when she asked my number she wasn't shocked at all...meeting her for coffee in an hour and she is my Miss Vanilla |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is a swinging site. What's up with the guy? Is he looking for a Virgin wife? If so he's on the wrong site.
Tell him to look on fabvirginwifes.com "
He's a vanilla guy darling. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think it is natural to have a curious interest in your partner's previous experience. He is probably put off because he isn't as experienced and is worried about his sexual prowess now, you are obviously a woman who knows what she likes in the bedroom and how to get it and that can be intimidating for a man. Just tell him they were all crap and that will make him feel better  lol
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
To be honest the fact that he asked the question would put me off him . If he thinks the number of people someone has slept with is relevant to whether he wants to be with them then he's a dickhead |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I believe that all relationships should be based on truth, honesty and trust. I applaud you for being honest. If you had lied, and formed a relationship based on lies you could both have been hurt a lot more if it came out later.
If you want a vanilla relationship, you need to find someone who accepts you for who you are, have been and whatever the future will bring.
I have found that swingers can make the most loving partners and are not phased by previous encounters.
I wish you well with finding someone who will care for the real you and not the public facade that most of us project to our vanilla friends. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have never asked a potential partner how many people they have slept with...and people should not ask questions they don't want to know the answer to!! But if I am asked...tbh...I have no idea anymore...if they can't handle that then they aren't for me....monogamy is not a problem for me, I am very loyal and what I do when I am single has nothing to do with how I am when I am not....unless I end up with a swinging bf, when I want one, of course   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ouble CCouple
over a year ago
Gran Canaria |
It's a mixed bag really.
I met a guy on POF and we were talking about our 'number', he hadn't been with many women before me, my number was at least 30 
(This was b4 I was swinging properly) he said it put him off a bit and when we tried to have sex for the first time he couldn't do it and said it was coz of this. I moved on and never thought anymore about it....UNTIL I found HIS profile on here some weeks later. The bloody cheek of it!!!
Now my number is at least triple figures, and I'm not ashamed of that at all, and neither is Mr C. Once you find 'The One' it won't matter. Miss C. Xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I would say I don't discuss my past sex life, not with anyone.
This...and stick to it. "
I would say that if he's worried I may have had too many sexual partners in the past, he's not the one for me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've told people I've dated. Some have not cared in the slightest. Some have been intimidated. Some have thought im a whore.
Ive never lied about the number. If they don't like it or judge me wrongly because of it then they aren't for me |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"ask him why he thinks that's his business.
my exes never asked until after we got together. one thought i was a slag yet he was cheating on me with other women, the other didn't care and only emotionally cheated on me after a miscarriage we had.
any man who thinks you're not this and that or are this and that because of previous partner is judgmental. he should be interested in the you that you are now and the couple you might become.
To be honest it was in a conversation we were having about our likes/dislikes and experiences. It wasn't just a random question so it wasnt that he asked just more his reaction. Sorry i should have said that in my op"
fair enough. i still think asking about likes and dislikes is about the now, and the past is irrelevant and he overstepped the mark asking that.
i also agree he's not the one for you if he had to ask, that was a good comment further down (well, will be above me when i post this). |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To be honest the fact that he asked the question would put me off him . If he thinks the number of people someone has slept with is relevant to whether he wants to be with them then he's a dickhead "
Definitely. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
i dont vanilla date, nor have any intetion for getting with someone vanilla..but id tell them, cant handle it, cant handle the truth..not for me...simples..i dont need that persons approval, that they have to ask, shows signs of insecurity... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hi how's the best way to get a meat. Chatting to some on hear. I tri not to come across to rude. But don't get any meats. I live down south but go up to London 5 or 6 time a month. It I'm not a tosser. No how to treat a lady. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"Hi how's the best way to get a meat. Chatting to some on hear. I tri not to come across to rude. But don't get any meats. I live down south but go up to London 5 or 6 time a month. It I'm not a tosser. No how to treat a lady. "
nothing on your profile..theres nothing to choose xxx make the effort, then get out to socials and clubs
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *andbCouple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
I don't think it is any business of anybody else how many sexual partners anyone has had. I have been asked this and never divulged the amount.
Everyone has had a life and its what happens when a couple are together that counts not their history (unless both want to answer questions) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hopefully this is in the right section!
Just wondering how people handle vanilla dating, when the other person asks you how many sexual partners you have had?
Been speaking to a guy for a while now. He asked me how many people i have slept with so i told him. Apparently he is now 'a little bit put off' me.
Should i have lied? Told the truth and obviously lost the chance to meet him?
(I dont think my number is even that high)
Wondering what other people do?"
This isn't the right platform for your question either. Swingers obviously biased towards more partners and being open and honest. If you asked in a vanilla forum responses would be a lot different. So it depends if you want a vanilla or swinging relationship. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hopefully this is in the right section!
Just wondering how people handle vanilla dating, when the other person asks you how many sexual partners you have had?
Been speaking to a guy for a while now. He asked me how many people i have slept with so i told him. Apparently he is now 'a little bit put off' me.
Should i have lied? Told the truth and obviously lost the chance to meet him?
(I dont think my number is even that high)
Wondering what other people do?"
If your past bothers him, then perhaps you should keep looking. Certainly don't start with a lie, that'll never end well.
My OH and I have been honest about our past from the outset, and that was 7 years ago. Although she's slept with a few she forgets about, so every now and again she'll be telling me something and I'll ask "Who the bloody hell is he?" (jokingly of course) and it'll occur to her its someone shed forgotten about... 
Being honest about our past sexual experiences is actually what got her into this in the first place |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Well I'm dating a woman now (not bf and gf status) and I already told her I was on the swinging scene so when she asked my number she wasn't shocked at all...meeting her for coffee in an hour and she is my Miss Vanilla"
Excellent! My Miss Vanilla is now My Little Dirty Slut |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I would probably answer the question by saying how many men I have had an intimate relationship with. Because I think that this was the info he was looking for, how many previous boyfriends? So answer it on vanilla terms that he understands. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don't know why people feel they have to ask! I have never asked Jon as it's non of my business who he slept with before we got together. We are compatible as a couple in and out of the bedroom so why would knowing how many people you have slept with change that????!!!!!!!
Jayne |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hopefully this is in the right section!
Just wondering how people handle vanilla dating, when the other person asks you how many sexual partners you have had?
Been speaking to a guy for a while now. He asked me how many people i have slept with so i told him. Apparently he is now 'a little bit put off' me.
Should i have lied? Told the truth and obviously lost the chance to meet him?
(I dont think my number is even that high)
Wondering what other people do?"
Who even knows the answer to that shit i cant remember how many ppl ive slept with last year nevermind in total.. ditch that 1 lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I couldn't imagine wanting to be in a relationship with someone who I had to lie too over my past for fear that they would judge me"
This. Every day this! 
I wouldn't ever want to be with someone to whom I had to lie about my past. If they asked me a direct question then I would give a direct answer. I wouldn't ever lie. I've got nothing to hide and I'm not precious about a prospective knowing my number. It's not a question I would ask. I don't give a shit about past experiences unless they come up as stories or anecdotes. We all have a past, it's made us who we are today.
If said person was 'put off' then that's a very clear indication that they are not right for me. I consider that a mutual mission of discovery and a clear win for me.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We both know our "number" and have a few close friends who also know theirs  "
Same. We know our numbers, but its not important to us. Its about the present and future. What's done is done. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I genuinely think openness and honesty is the best policy. We are all big boys and girls right? If they are not grown up enough to handle the truth and can not accept you for who you are do you really want to be with them? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *reygorCouple
over a year ago
birmingham |
well its an adult site .where names and numbers mean nothing.its about playing adult games today and tomorrow .[if you lucky]so numbers can quickly change .if you do like like players with history .leave fab and try virgin .com .[you we know the time table for trains in your area]we love you fab people |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If its a vanilla relationship, and is possibly getting more serious, then I think its fine to ask how many previous relationships someone has had.
This (in my mind) is not the same as the number of sexual partners as I wouldn't count hook-ups, one-nighters, casual flings etc.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If its a vanilla relationship, and is possibly getting more serious, then I think its fine to ask how many previous relationships someone has had.
This (in my mind) is not the same as the number of sexual partners as I wouldn't count hook-ups, one-nighters, casual flings etc.
"
This - another poster mentioned it also. It looks like a lot of vanilla daters (men and women alike) don't tally up their ONS! Talking about a lot of brushing under the carpet.
I agree with those that said you can discuss likes/dislikes or even past experiences without having to quantify with numbers. Some people do get intimidated, but others get intrigued so just date on OP. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I would probably answer the question by saying how many men I have had an intimate relationship with. Because I think that this was the info he was looking for, how many previous boyfriends? So answer it on vanilla terms that he understands."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You've had 2 meets in two months, it is not as if you're attending parties or gangbangs. Is the figure really that high?"
Thats an average rate of 1 meet a month ... when you have been single 3 years the months stack up |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To be honest the fact that he asked the question would put me off him . If he thinks the number of people someone has slept with is relevant to whether he wants to be with them then he's a dickhead "
So how many people you slept with? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I genuinely have no clue how many people I've slept with, male sexual partners I can count on one hand (for now) female sexual partners I have genuinely no idea how many, I don't even remember faces or names with a lot of them.
Does that make me a bad person? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To be honest the fact that he asked the question would put me off him . If he thinks the number of people someone has slept with is relevant to whether he wants to be with them then he's a dickhead
So how many people you slept with? "
No idea - you? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wonder why people actually want to know? What is the rationale behind the question?"
summat to do with womens fannies being locks and dicks being master keys?
not actually heard anyone say this for ages really. but if you fuck a lot of guys you become worthless basically and the impression some men get is that we're easy and will fuck anything, this makes the guy not feel special any more.
also the less experience we have the less likely we are to complain if he's shit in bed maybe? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
also the less experience we have the less likely we are to complain if he's shit in bed maybe?
i reckon this is totally it "
sluts. upping the quality of men since time immortal. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wonder why people actually want to know? What is the rationale behind the question?
summat to do with womens fannies being locks and dicks being master keys?
not actually heard anyone say this for ages really. but if you fuck a lot of guys you become worthless basically and the impression some men get is that we're easy and will fuck anything, this makes the guy not feel special any more.
also the less experience we have the less likely we are to complain if he's shit in bed maybe?"
Well, if that's the case, that's bloody pathetic! Are men really so insecure? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wonder why people actually want to know? What is the rationale behind the question?
summat to do with womens fannies being locks and dicks being master keys?
not actually heard anyone say this for ages really. but if you fuck a lot of guys you become worthless basically and the impression some men get is that we're easy and will fuck anything, this makes the guy not feel special any more.
also the less experience we have the less likely we are to complain if he's shit in bed maybe?
Well, if that's the case, that's bloody pathetic! Are men really so insecure?"
some are yeah. i've personally mostly met guys who love that i was fucking loads of guys as well as them.
kind of miss those days. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Sports club employ people on their past performance. When you go for a job you fill out cv of past jobs . On a dating site you fill out your hobbies and things past and present that you enjoy. So your past does have relevance.
I know there are people who will say past sex encounters are irrelevant but there are many who say sexual misdemeanours or convictions should bar people from jobs that have nothing to do with contact with the public. I am pretty sure people will want to know potential partners poor previous sexual behaviour even when non criminal.
Then people could say that has nothing to do with relationships. Then what about preferences. On Fab people choose play partners by prejudiced preferences and it is the fab motto to accept and move on. Therefore if a vanilla person finds it important to enter into a relationship with someone who has had less than a certain number of partners, is that not their right? Particularly if we respect the many preferences on fab.
However people will say that questioning about the number sexual partners is irrelevant? Howabout for many people hoping for a lasting relationship who are outside of the swinging scene (and yes swinging is still a minority sport) monogamy and a person's ability to be monogamous is important, certainly a concept different from swinging. For some people a large number of previous sexual partners in the case of either a man or woman may indicate a lack of seriousness about maintaining an exclusive relationship and a lack of restraint in that other persons sex life, and therefore possibly more likely to stray.
It goes without saying no person should be insulted for the number of people with whom they have slept and there should not be a double standard applied to women. But to say no judgment should be made about voluntary behavior is not the human way of things when people are judged for things they cannot control. Although it is a Turkeys' voting for Xmas comment on fab, we should respect these people's preferences politely stated even though they go against the swinging mores.
This is a please don't shoot the messenger post. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Are you serious?
So having multiple sexual partners while single or with full consent in a swinging relationship means you are not capable of being monogamous if required?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Sorry I've only just come back to this!
I'm not saying my number, thanks, to those people who asked! 
And for those mentioning my veris i have one from a previous profile who verified this profile, and one meet. Just so you know
It's such a mixed bag I'm glad I asked really! I do think he just thought 'easy' straight away, obviously that means I can't stay faithful in a relationship |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wonder why people actually want to know? What is the rationale behind the question?
summat to do with womens fannies being locks and dicks being master keys?
not actually heard anyone say this for ages really. but if you fuck a lot of guys you become worthless basically and the impression some men get is that we're easy and will fuck anything, this makes the guy not feel special any more.
also the less experience we have the less likely we are to complain if he's shit in bed maybe?"
I think the expression goes 'A lock that can be opened by many keys is a shitty lock but a key that can open many locks is a master key'  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wonder why people actually want to know? What is the rationale behind the question?
summat to do with womens fannies being locks and dicks being master keys?
not actually heard anyone say this for ages really. but if you fuck a lot of guys you become worthless basically and the impression some men get is that we're easy and will fuck anything, this makes the guy not feel special any more.
also the less experience we have the less likely we are to complain if he's shit in bed maybe?
I think the expression goes 'A lock that can be opened by many keys is a shitty lock but a key that can open many locks is a master key' "
exactly that yeah. don't see why our fannies can't be the key and their dick is a lock? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wonder why people actually want to know? What is the rationale behind the question?
summat to do with womens fannies being locks and dicks being master keys?
not actually heard anyone say this for ages really. but if you fuck a lot of guys you become worthless basically and the impression some men get is that we're easy and will fuck anything, this makes the guy not feel special any more.
also the less experience we have the less likely we are to complain if he's shit in bed maybe?
I think the expression goes 'A lock that can be opened by many keys is a shitty lock but a key that can open many locks is a master key'
exactly that yeah. don't see why our fannies can't be the key and their dick is a lock? "
just doesn't work as an analogy though does it. It's a man's world |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wonder why people actually want to know? What is the rationale behind the question?
summat to do with womens fannies being locks and dicks being master keys?
not actually heard anyone say this for ages really. but if you fuck a lot of guys you become worthless basically and the impression some men get is that we're easy and will fuck anything, this makes the guy not feel special any more.
also the less experience we have the less likely we are to complain if he's shit in bed maybe?
I think the expression goes 'A lock that can be opened by many keys is a shitty lock but a key that can open many locks is a master key'
exactly that yeah. don't see why our fannies can't be the key and their dick is a lock?
just doesn't work as an analogy though does it. It's a man's world "
sorry. it's out of habit i say that, after being a part of the programming and computer world for some time. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
He is only a little put off, its not the end of the world, I think if he is a decent guy he will be cool with it, if not, then he wasn't the one.
Relax do not stress about it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I honestly would tell him the past stays in the past! People speak about honesty but is not his business! Is a new start clean slate!
Is not double standards at all because I never would've ask someone that!
Is my own business! You deserve better! I heard guys before on here saying they would not look for a partner here! And that yes is double standards!All the best ! X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We met when young and are still swinging novices so our totals are still in the low single digits lol  We're such innocent souls compared to some of you lot.
I was trying to think of why a guy might be put off by a high figure and at first thought it's probably just daunting for a bloke to think they might not be the best you've slept with (guys can be pretty insecure about that stuff and would rather be with a woman who didn't know how crap they were)... but then I realised some of you are in the treble digit realm and, well, from a vanilla perspective that's just gonna look like you can't forge meaningful relationships with anyone... which is wrong because most of those will have been play dates not relationships. I think, if I'd been in your shoes, I would've said I'm not ready for that conversation and waited until it felt right to have "that" conversation |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wonder why people actually want to know? What is the rationale behind the question?
summat to do with womens fannies being locks and dicks being master keys?
not actually heard anyone say this for ages really. but if you fuck a lot of guys you become worthless basically and the impression some men get is that we're easy and will fuck anything, this makes the guy not feel special any more.
also the less experience we have the less likely we are to complain if he's shit in bed maybe?
I think the expression goes 'A lock that can be opened by many keys is a shitty lock but a key that can open many locks is a master key'
exactly that yeah. don't see why our fannies can't be the key and their dick is a lock? just doesn't work as an analogy though does it. It's a man's world "
Sure, continue spreading the idea that women's chastity is commendable, and we can all continue bemoaning why there aren't more women active on fabs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are you serious?
So having multiple sexual partners while single or with full consent in a swinging relationship means you are not capable of being monogamous if required? "
You are asking the wrong question. I have no view either way on the issue and it is not an issue that has to be opposed such as homophobia. I am just putting a different view.
Therefore do I believe that a sizeable number of the world's population believe that a promiscuous past is incompatible with being able to settle into a monogamous relationship? yes I do believe that a lot of people believe that.
There is a very strong feeling of entitlement on fab and this is reinforced by repeated mantras on here which outside of Fab would be seen as ridiculous in the same way that people who don't take the fab line are ridiculed.
As I said don't shoot the messenger
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"However people will say that questioning about the number sexual partners is irrelevant? Howabout for many people hoping for a lasting relationship who are outside of the swinging scene (and yes swinging is still a minority sport) monogamy and a person's ability to be monogamous is important, certainly a concept different from swinging. For some people a large number of previous sexual partners in the case of either a man or woman may indicate a lack of seriousness about maintaining an exclusive relationship and a lack of restraint in that other persons sex life, and therefore possibly more likely to stray. "
Just a side note - the question to ask if this is a concern is "have you ever cheated on a partner", not "how many people have you had sex with". I agree with you that everyone should be allowed to make judgements and draw conclusions. But this specific, often negative, judgement is usually based on prejudice against high libido women. Apropos this reminds me of that thread where a woman said her ex boyfriend couldn't stand her masturbating.
I do appreciate that you specifically wrote there should be no double standard, unfortunately there still is - see just above for proof, we're still joking about shitty locks and master keys I guess if you are looking for a woman to chain to the sink you don't need the aggro of her needing a fulfilling sex life. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are you serious?
So having multiple sexual partners while single or with full consent in a swinging relationship means you are not capable of being monogamous if required?
You are asking the wrong question. I have no view either way on the issue and it is not an issue that has to be opposed such as homophobia. I am just putting a different view.
Therefore do I believe that a sizeable number of the world's population believe that a promiscuous past is incompatible with being able to settle into a monogamous relationship? yes I do believe that a lot of people believe that.
There is a very strong feeling of entitlement on fab and this is reinforced by repeated mantras on here which outside of Fab would be seen as ridiculous in the same way that people who don't take the fab line are ridiculed.
As I said don't shoot the messenger
"
Ah but it *is* "an issue that has to be opposed such as homophobia", it is misogyny. Fabs women mention again and again how they have been looked down on for being easy/sluts, the OP included. Yes, for the more prudish or religious a promiscuous man won't be seen as prime material for raising a family etc. But for the vast majority of people, men's dalliances are not seen as a character flaw.
Sure fabs forums is an echo chamber where we may validate our less-than-mainstream opinions, I am not sure how this is relevant. And in actuality fabs forum is not that removed from reality - example, how many people (myself included!) are now itching to know OP's number, so we can draw our own conclusions! There's judgement right there. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's not his business. What I did in my past would have nothing to do with him. If he didn't like it, he could jog on. There are some things that do not need to be shared. Past sexual conquests being one of them, in my opinion. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"None of his bloody business. I would never ask a lady . All I need to know is are we going to enjoy each other ."
Quite right, a true gentleman/lady would never ask! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
