FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > This site is such a slog
This site is such a slog
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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How long before you decide to forget about it? Women say they want face pics, you got to be veried, you got to give a thought out message. Christ its a lot of work on my thumbs and still you get a pie off every single woman! Not worth it. Where am I going wrong. Constructive criticism welcome, im here to learn |
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One week isn't long. What were your expectations of the site when you joined? The reality is that women are in the minority and single men in a very large majority. You need to stand out from the rest and be patient. It helps to join in the forums and socials and clubs can get your face known.
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yeah comment on my profile if you like. My expectations weren't to just dive into the sack with a load of different women, but it was at least to have some good conversations. |
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"Yeah comment on my profile if you like. My expectations weren't to just dive into the sack with a load of different women, but it was at least to have some good conversations. "
The forums e.g. The Lounge might lead to some conversation, don't expect to be acknowledged straight away (we've been here years and can sometimes be ignored for days  ).
As far as your profile goes its a bit brief and doesn't give much away. I get the impression you're looking for one woman...if so say it. Lots of women are looking for one guy. |
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By *j48Man
over a year ago
Wigan |
"Thanks so much, really appreciate the advice!
You're welcome.
"
Nice comments there for the Op, living up to your name, you are a nice couple - fabbed a few pics as I was pervin' errm looking..
Lovely
Pj |
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"Thanks so much, really appreciate the advice!
You're welcome.
Nice comments there for the Op, living up to your name, you are a nice couple - fabbed a few pics as I was pervin' errm looking..
Lovely
Pj "
thanks its nice to be perved erm appreciated |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Worth pointing out that a good use for this site is to find out about clubs in your area and what events they are hold, then get yourself along and meet people that way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Only you can decide if it's worth it or not OP.
I've been on fab for around three and a half years now and yes, it can be hard work, but as with most things in life you get out what you put in.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How long before you decide to forget about it? Women say they want face pics, you got to be veried, you got to give a thought out message. Christ its a lot of work on my thumbs and still you get a pie off every single woman! Not worth it. Where am I going wrong. Constructive criticism welcome, im here to learn"
Your not the only here who feels like that I would say u got to here at less six months before anyone takes u serious on here I think  |
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It says you're dom,so you're looking for subs women, there are a damn lot more sub men about. Tbh, most women on here are here because they're taking control of their life and getting what they want. Rather than being submissive, there are some but more aren't. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"How long before you decide to forget about it? Women say they want face pics, you got to be veried, you got to give a thought out message. Christ its a lot of work on my thumbs and still you get a pie off every single woman! Not worth it. Where am I going wrong. Constructive criticism welcome, im here to learn"
i'm sorry.... but you are just not owed anything just because you are here.....
where are you going wrong...
I say start in 3 places... time, patience and basic common sense...
is 1 week in and ranting giving it time?
is 1 week in and ranting showing patience?
basic common sense? what have you written.. how do you stand out.... what screams to people wow i have to meet that person.....
the rest you can work out for yourself.... but the starting point may be the actually sit down than think about what you are trying to get across...
think of it like this, you spent more energy and words on your rant about how its hard than you bothered to use on your profile trying to say to people why they should meet you!!!! |
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My advice is get to a club and try and get verified.
rewrite your profile put some effort into it.
Join pof and tinder and all the other sites as theres justcas many ladies on there that like what fab has to offer.
And dont be too hard on yourself as being a single guy is hard on everyone.
Be positive as it will shine through
Good luck
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How long before you decide to forget about it? Women say they want face pics, you got to be veried, you got to give a thought out message. Christ its a lot of work on my thumbs and still you get a pie off every single woman! Not worth it. Where am I going wrong. Constructive criticism welcome, im here to learn"
Try using your fingers as well as your thumbs, spreading the workload between 10 digits rather than 2 will allow you to message for 5x longer, massively increasing your chances of success.
Good luck my friend. |
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By *not69Man
over a year ago
Lancashire |
"Oh and if you want comment on your profile you need to ask outright, it isn't allowed otherwise."
No need to ask outright, you can critique someone's profile either if they ask you OR if it is relevent to the thread. In this case id say it's relevent |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One week isn't long. What were your expectations of the site when you joined? The reality is that women are in the minority and single men in a very large majority. You need to stand out from the rest and be patient. It helps to join in the forums and socials and clubs can get your face known.
Good luck "
 |
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"How long before you decide to forget about it? Women say they want face pics, you got to be veried, you got to give a thought out message. Christ its a lot of work on my thumbs and still you get a pie off every single woman! Not worth it. Where am I going wrong. Constructive criticism welcome, im here to learn"
My constructive criticism is that you've put more effort into this moany thread than you have your profile. Try it the other way round. |
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I guess you are just another who imagined that you would be balls deep in clunge within days.
And you sound a bit desperate and/or entitled. That's the biggest turn off for the women.
If you are interesting, they come to you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Exercise a little patience. It's not easy for any of us anymore on here. Your Profile though is a little long winded. One thought from us is some single guys don't read our profile which becomes an instant delete.  |
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"Yeah comment on my profile if you like. My expectations weren't to just dive into the sack with a load of different women, but it was at least to have some good conversations. "
Rot...you thought it would be instant shag time ha ha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How long before you decide to forget about it? Women say they want face pics, you got to be veried, you got to give a thought out message. Christ its a lot of work on my thumbs and still you get a pie off every single woman! Not worth it. Where am I going wrong. Constructive criticism welcome, im here to learn
i'm sorry.... but you are just not owed anything just because you are here.....
where are you going wrong...
I say start in 3 places... time, patience and basic common sense...
is 1 week in and ranting giving it time?
is 1 week in and ranting showing patience?
basic common sense? what have you written.. how do you stand out.... what screams to people wow i have to meet that person.....
the rest you can work out for yourself.... but the starting point may be the actually sit down than think about what you are trying to get across...
think of it like this, you spent more energy and words on your rant about how its hard than you bothered to use on your profile trying to say to people why they should meet you!!!!"
I think its unfair to call it a rant - i was only asking for advice mate |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How long before you decide to forget about it? Women say they want face pics, you got to be veried, you got to give a thought out message. Christ its a lot of work on my thumbs and still you get a pie off every single woman! Not worth it. Where am I going wrong. Constructive criticism welcome, im here to learn
i'm sorry.... but you are just not owed anything just because you are here.....
where are you going wrong...
I say start in 3 places... time, patience and basic common sense...
is 1 week in and ranting giving it time?
is 1 week in and ranting showing patience?
basic common sense? what have you written.. how do you stand out.... what screams to people wow i have to meet that person.....
the rest you can work out for yourself.... but the starting point may be the actually sit down than think about what you are trying to get across...
think of it like this, you spent more energy and words on your rant about how its hard than you bothered to use on your profile trying to say to people why they should meet you!!!!"
I think its unfair to call it a rant - i was only asking for advice mate |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Some very b*tchy people here calling me a moaner. Im new to this and only asking for advice. If you think Im a moaner then dont engage with me, I specifically asked for constructive criticism. When somebody is asking for criticism, pointers, advice etc I think its the opposite of moaning its actually reaching out to people
|
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By *ndigo40Woman
over a year ago
secret town |
"How long before you decide to forget about it? Women say they want face pics, you got to be veried, you got to give a thought out message. Christ its a lot of work on my thumbs and still you get a pie off every single woman! Not worth it. Where am I going wrong. Constructive criticism welcome, im here to learn
i'm sorry.... but you are just not owed anything just because you are here.....
where are you going wrong...
I say start in 3 places... time, patience and basic common sense...
is 1 week in and ranting giving it time?
is 1 week in and ranting showing patience?
basic common sense? what have you written.. how do you stand out.... what screams to people wow i have to meet that person.....
the rest you can work out for yourself.... but the starting point may be the actually sit down than think about what you are trying to get across...
think of it like this, you spent more energy and words on your rant about how its hard than you bothered to use on your profile trying to say to people why they should meet you!!!!"
Fuck me, all this just for a bit of sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How long before you decide to forget about it? Women say they want face pics, you got to be veried, you got to give a thought out message. Christ its a lot of work on my thumbs and still you get a pie off every single woman! Not worth it. Where am I going wrong. Constructive criticism welcome, im here to learn"
Yep, that's pretty well how it is; you're not doing anything wrong, necessarily - there is just a high proportion of indiscriminate single males on here, swamping every poor female that has a pulse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How long before you decide to forget about it? Women say they want face pics, you got to be veried, you got to give a thought out message. Christ its a lot of work on my thumbs and still you get a pie off every single woman! Not worth it. Where am I going wrong. Constructive criticism welcome, im here to learn"
Maybe it's eating all the pies that you get off every single woman? New year, new diet? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How long before you decide to forget about it? Women say they want face pics, you got to be veried, you got to give a thought out message. Christ its a lot of work on my thumbs and still you get a pie off every single woman! Not worth it. Where am I going wrong. Constructive criticism welcome, im here to learn
i'm sorry.... but you are just not owed anything just because you are here.....
where are you going wrong...
I say start in 3 places... time, patience and basic common sense...
is 1 week in and ranting giving it time?
is 1 week in and ranting showing patience?
basic common sense? what have you written.. how do you stand out.... what screams to people wow i have to meet that person.....
the rest you can work out for yourself.... but the starting point may be the actually sit down than think about what you are trying to get across...
think of it like this, you spent more energy and words on your rant about how its hard than you bothered to use on your profile trying to say to people why they should meet you!!!!
Fuck me, all this just for a bit of sex "
Unfortunately it's what we have to do. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Some very b*tchy people here calling me a moaner. Im new to this and only asking for advice. If you think Im a moaner then dont engage with me, I specifically asked for constructive criticism. When somebody is asking for criticism, pointers, advice etc I think its the opposite of moaning its actually reaching out to people
"
so you only want to converse with people who will spoonfeed it to you and go there there there.... gotcha!!!
okay... if you want to continue that analogy... if you were going out and it was raining, wouldn't you have put some thought into what you would take with you...maybe wellies, umbrella, coat with a hood...
point is you would have prepped....
you may not think of it as a moan... but the point still stands that you decided to spent more time and words answering this and all the other replies than you have bothered to spend to your actual profile and telling the world why people should want to meet you!!!! 
you get out what you put in..... so putting it bluntly what sort of effort did you put into your profile? really? hand on heart! |
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By *loppsyWoman
over a year ago
marlow |
"How long before you decide to forget about it? Women say they want face pics, you got to be veried, you got to give a thought out message. Christ its a lot of work on my thumbs and still you get a pie off every single woman! Not worth it. Where am I going wrong. Constructive criticism welcome, im here to learn
i'm sorry.... but you are just not owed anything just because you are here.....
where are you going wrong...
I say start in 3 places... time, patience and basic common sense...
is 1 week in and ranting giving it time?
is 1 week in and ranting showing patience?
basic common sense? what have you written.. how do you stand out.... what screams to people wow i have to meet that person.....
the rest you can work out for yourself.... but the starting point may be the actually sit down than think about what you are trying to get across...
think of it like this, you spent more energy and words on your rant about how its hard than you bothered to use on your profile trying to say to people why they should meet you!!!!"
Well said!!
I have to say I am getting sick and tired of men that think they are entitled to just about anything they want!!!
X |
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By *ndigo40Woman
over a year ago
secret town |
"How long before you decide to forget about it? Women say they want face pics, you got to be veried, you got to give a thought out message. Christ its a lot of work on my thumbs and still you get a pie off every single woman! Not worth it. Where am I going wrong. Constructive criticism welcome, im here to learn
i'm sorry.... but you are just not owed anything just because you are here.....
where are you going wrong...
I say start in 3 places... time, patience and basic common sense...
is 1 week in and ranting giving it time?
is 1 week in and ranting showing patience?
basic common sense? what have you written.. how do you stand out.... what screams to people wow i have to meet that person.....
the rest you can work out for yourself.... but the starting point may be the actually sit down than think about what you are trying to get across...
think of it like this, you spent more energy and words on your rant about how its hard than you bothered to use on your profile trying to say to people why they should meet you!!!!
Fuck me, all this just for a bit of sex
Unfortunately it's what we have to do. "
If I was a male I rather watch porn and have a wank! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some very b*tchy people here calling me a moaner. Im new to this and only asking for advice. If you think Im a moaner then dont engage with me, I specifically asked for constructive criticism. When somebody is asking for criticism, pointers, advice etc I think its the opposite of moaning its actually reaching out to people
"
OP, you have received constructive criticism.
Your profile really does not stand out at all. If you are relying on it to attract people then take some time to produce a decent profile. |
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Sending a pic and a message isn't a slog is it? It's just being social.
In the NW there are about 5 clubs within half an hour drive of you, you can get verified this weekend at one, and have a chat and a laugh at the same time.
It's all good.
Have fun x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think its unfair to call it a rant - i was only asking for advice mate"
Welcome to the forum you can't control them, people respond on the way you come across.
What was it you were expecting when you joined ??? people are trying to point out it may have been unrealistic. |
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By *sRedbbwWoman
over a year ago
Amwythig |
"I guess you are just another who imagined that you would be balls deep in clunge within days."
Absolutely this, the site is full of them. Politeness, courtesy and not moaning are acceptable to me, don't be pushy after a week. It's taken me eight months to get used to how things work  |
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"Some very b*tchy people here calling me a moaner. Im new to this and only asking for advice. If you think Im a moaner then dont engage with me, I specifically asked for constructive criticism. When somebody is asking for criticism, pointers, advice etc I think its the opposite of moaning its actually reaching out to people
"
Hold on. Who's all the bitchy people? Lots of useful advise been given.
Maybe saying people are bitchy after 10 bits of positive advise and 1 or 2 bits of useful criticism is a pointer to where you are going wrong????? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's not just a slog for single guys! I'm finding it very hard work sifting through the messages, chatting with people and then trying to find time in our busy schedules to actually meet if we get along. Not to mention dealing with the rude and unpleasant people who take some of the fun out of the experience.
I don't think anyone ever said it was supposed to be easy to meet on here and a little patience and persistence goes a long way. And having no expectations helps a lot too.
|
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"It's not just a slog for single guys! I'm finding it very hard work sifting through the messages, chatting with people and then trying to find time in our busy schedules to actually meet if we get along. Not to mention dealing with the rude and unpleasant people who take some of the fun out of the experience.
I don't think anyone ever said it was supposed to be easy to meet on here and a little patience and persistence goes a long way. And having no expectations helps a lot too.
"
There' a lot to be said for clubs. You can tell very quickly if you are right for someone, where you could be weeks messaging doing the same thing, matching diaries etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's not just a slog for single guys! I'm finding it very hard work sifting through the messages, chatting with people and then trying to find time in our busy schedules to actually meet if we get along. Not to mention dealing with the rude and unpleasant people who take some of the fun out of the experience.
I don't think anyone ever said it was supposed to be easy to meet on here and a little patience and persistence goes a long way. And having no expectations helps a lot too.
There' a lot to be said for clubs. You can tell very quickly if you are right for someone, where you could be weeks messaging doing the same thing, matching diaries etc."
True. But I don't always want club sex, I also like getting to know people. Quite a few times I've played with someone at a club and kept in touch but they turned out to be a dick!
Also clubs can be hard work when the male to female ratio is off or if there's slim pickings the night you go. |
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"It's not just a slog for single guys! I'm finding it very hard work sifting through the messages, chatting with people and then trying to find time in our busy schedules to actually meet if we get along. Not to mention dealing with the rude and unpleasant people who take some of the fun out of the experience.
I don't think anyone ever said it was supposed to be easy to meet on here and a little patience and persistence goes a long way. And having no expectations helps a lot too.
There' a lot to be said for clubs. You can tell very quickly if you are right for someone, where you could be weeks messaging doing the same thing, matching diaries etc.
True. But I don't always want club sex, I also like getting to know people. Quite a few times I've played with someone at a club and kept in touch but they turned out to be a dick!
Also clubs can be hard work when the male to female ratio is off or if there's slim pickings the night you go."
Yes, pros and cons to both. Fab chats can sometimes be quick and fun and result in a meet with a great person. As single fem, I understand the sifting is much harder for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah comment on my profile if you like. My expectations weren't to just dive into the sack with a load of different women, but it was at least to have some good conversations. "
good conversations... or cyber? there a world of difference and most people seem to find that those who do a lot of "chatting" are just looking to shoot their load and never actually meet in the flesh...for those of us who like to meet its just a waste of our time... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Some very b*tchy people here calling me a moaner. Im new to this and only asking for advice. If you think Im a moaner then dont engage with me, I specifically asked for constructive criticism. When somebody is asking for criticism, pointers, advice etc I think its the opposite of moaning its actually reaching out to people
so you only want to converse with people who will spoonfeed it to you and go there there there.... gotcha!!!
okay... if you want to continue that analogy... if you were going out and it was raining, wouldn't you have put some thought into what you would take with you...maybe wellies, umbrella, coat with a hood...
point is you would have prepped....
you may not think of it as a moan... but the point still stands that you decided to spent more time and words answering this and all the other replies than you have bothered to spend to your actual profile and telling the world why people should want to meet you!!!!
you get out what you put in..... so putting it bluntly what sort of effort did you put into your profile? really? hand on heart!"
Chill out mate |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's not just a slog for single guys! I'm finding it very hard work sifting through the messages, chatting with people and then trying to find time in our busy schedules to actually meet if we get along. Not to mention dealing with the rude and unpleasant people who take some of the fun out of the experience.
I don't think anyone ever said it was supposed to be easy to meet on here and a little patience and persistence goes a long way. And having no expectations helps a lot too.
"
Thats a really fair point. Thanks |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I guess you are just another who imagined that you would be balls deep in clunge within days.
Absolutely this, the site is full of them. Politeness, courtesy and not moaning are acceptable to me, don't be pushy after a week. It's taken me eight months to get used to how things work "
Well no, if you read up I said I would have expected to have had a couple of responses. |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
Hi OP. Not much more to say really. Yes you do need to add to your profile, as in what do you have to offer and what would you look for, in any future meets. Do you think your profile sounds interesting to others? Also try not to jump back at people in here, if they appear unhelpful, some of us have a strange sense of humour I wish you luck and fun! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hi OP. Not much more to say really. Yes you do need to add to your profile, as in what do you have to offer and what would you look for, in any future meets. Do you think your profile sounds interesting to others? Also try not to jump back at people in here, if they appear unhelpful, some of us have a strange sense of humour I wish you luck and fun! "
Thanks I appreciate that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Thanks for all your advice everyone Ive tried to make the improvements needed! (Maybe I should have just got back in the gym - my xmas bod still hasnt left me yet) |
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"Thanks for all your advice everyone Ive tried to make the improvements needed! (Maybe I should have just got back in the gym - my xmas bod still hasnt left me yet)"
You'll be fine. Patience, profile improvements and join in on the forums more (now you've survived the mauling...) also look out for socials, the chatrooms, the meets and clubs section and make 2017 memorable. I know sometimes you don't like what you read but you need to have a thicker skin and not let pixel people do your nut in. Despite appearances - we were all trying to help. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How long before you decide to forget about it? Women say they want face pics, you got to be veried, you got to give a thought out message. Christ its a lot of work on my thumbs and still you get a pie off every single woman! Not worth it. Where am I going wrong. Constructive criticism welcome, im here to learn"
Least you're not hungry |
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