FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Anyone in same situation?
Anyone in same situation?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Anyone else in similar situation? In relationship with no spark, but not as easy as just up and leaving as kids involved. Looking for similar people who just want or need chat or chill without the hassle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone else in similar situation? In relationship with no spark, but not as easy as just up and leaving as kids involved. Looking for similar people who just want or need chat or chill without the hassle."
https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/584847
have a peruse of this similar thread OP..
it will give you a taste of what people think  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think a lot of people gut reaction will be negative or have a pretty dim view. Your life is to do with as you see fit.
Our personal view? Whatever the problem is, surely the answer won't be found on a swingers site trying to fuck other people? Have you tried to seek out what the problem might be? If the spark has truly gone (it does happen), it needs to be sorted out one way or another for both your sakes. Sure, the children are an issue which has to be a priority and taken care of, but a separate issue from your relationship. Kids, no matter how old, can pick up on an atmosphere in the household. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone else in similar situation? In relationship with no spark, but not as easy as just up and leaving as kids involved. Looking for similar people who just want or need chat or chill without the hassle."
You're 26. Don't waste your life in an unhappy marriage. Your kids won't thank you for sticking around and growing up in the toxic environment that will likely develop |
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I can see how being in a relationship with no spark would drive you to go out and look for it somewhere else but you guys need to sit down and talk for the kids. Work out between you if it's just a short term thing caused by external sources or if it needs to come to an end. I've been there and it's not a nice situation to be in. Shemay just be going through a bit of a phase because her whole life has changed now you have kids. |
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By *eerobCouple
over a year ago
solihull |
"Anyone else in similar situation? In relationship with no spark, but not as easy as just up and leaving as kids involved. Looking for similar people who just want or need chat or chill without the hassle."
Put some spark back into it then? |
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"Anyone else in similar situation? In relationship with no spark, but not as easy as just up and leaving as kids involved. Looking for similar people who just want or need chat or chill without the hassle.
Put some spark back into it then? "
This  the ball is in your court, as they say. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You're in a really difficult situation, there is no easy solution. You only live once though do you need to decide what would make you feel happier and go from there. I take it your partner knows how you're feeling? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You guys need a shake my head emoji.....
 
Let me Guess... things like this doesn't happen over there ??
"
I'm just shaking my head because I know the torrent of abuse that's about to come his way.... |
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"You guys need a shake my head emoji.....
Let me Guess... things like this doesn't happen over there ??
I'm just shaking my head because I know the torrent of abuse that's about to come his way...."
It's hardly abuse.
If it was abusive they would all get bans.
There is a vast difference between being abusive and giving your opinion.
I often find people make this mistake when talking about tolerance.
People often confuse tolerance with acceptance.
I'm all for tolerance but it does not mean you have to accept it.
So I think you will find most people do not hound or harass cheaters on this site. But it does not mean we have to accept cheating as the only morally accepted form of having intimate relationships.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You guys need a shake my head emoji.....
Let me Guess... things like this doesn't happen over there ??
I'm just shaking my head because I know the torrent of abuse that's about to come his way....
It's hardly abuse.
If it was abusive they would all get bans.
There is a vast difference between being abusive and giving your opinion.
I often find people make this mistake when talking about tolerance.
People often confuse tolerance with acceptance.
I'm all for tolerance but it does not mean you have to accept it.
So I think you will find most people do not hound or harass cheaters on this site. But it does not mean we have to accept cheating as the only morally accepted form of having intimate relationships.
"
Very good point...... but I have to say swingers are more judgmental than vanilla people. I may not agree with someone is doing but I'm always polite |
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"You guys need a shake my head emoji.....
Let me Guess... things like this doesn't happen over there ??
I'm just shaking my head because I know the torrent of abuse that's about to come his way....
It's hardly abuse.
If it was abusive they would all get bans.
There is a vast difference between being abusive and giving your opinion.
I often find people make this mistake when talking about tolerance.
People often confuse tolerance with acceptance.
I'm all for tolerance but it does not mean you have to accept it.
So I think you will find most people do not hound or harass cheaters on this site. But it does not mean we have to accept cheating as the only morally accepted form of having intimate relationships.
Very good point...... but I have to say swingers are more judgmental than vanilla people. I may not agree with someone is doing but I'm always polite"
The most judgemental are those who have come close to this themselves, maybe?? Why not cheat right in front of her face like the rest of them here do, then she'd go alone with it just to keep you???   All jesting apart though, OP, a quick NSA is much more acceptable than a long drawn out affair. Let's off steam and may save the marriage? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You guys need a shake my head emoji.....
Let me Guess... things like this doesn't happen over there ??
I'm just shaking my head because I know the torrent of abuse that's about to come his way....
It's hardly abuse.
If it was abusive they would all get bans.
There is a vast difference between being abusive and giving your opinion.
I often find people make this mistake when talking about tolerance.
People often confuse tolerance with acceptance.
I'm all for tolerance but it does not mean you have to accept it.
So I think you will find most people do not hound or harass cheaters on this site. But it does not mean we have to accept cheating as the only morally accepted form of having intimate relationships.
Very good point...... but I have to say swingers are more judgmental than vanilla people. I may not agree with someone is doing but I'm always polite
The most judgemental are those who have come close to this themselves, maybe?? Why not cheat right in front of her face like the rest of them here do, then she'd go alone with it just to keep you??? All jesting apart though, OP, a quick NSA is much more acceptable than a long drawn out affair. Let's off steam and may save the marriage?"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just my tuppence worth here. If it's a quick fumble you want, you may want to try looking elsewhere as I doubt you'll get a sympathy hump from this site. If you love you wife but find the relationship mundane, take the lead and make it exciting again. Being a family can shake the stability in a solid relationship. Get a babysitter, get dressed up and go out. Do some adult things. If it's dead in the water and you have decided enough is enough then leave and allow the mother of your kids the chance to find happiness. She's probably feeling the same but you'll never know unless you address the issues. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone else in similar situation? In relationship with no spark, but not as easy as just up and leaving as kids involved. Looking for similar people who just want or need chat or chill without the hassle."
Op, I think that if your relationship is that bad you have two choices, either try and work on it (which means not being on sites like this) or you finish your relationship. Your partner and your children will know you are staying due to "duty" and that's not fair. To be honest it's a cowards way out to use the children as a reason to stay. Much braver to admit you aren't happy and you'll probably find your partner isn't either, she'll know you aren't committed to the relationship. It's rubbish in the short term but far better in the long run. I know because it was me who cheated (I'm not proud of this) and used it as the reason to end my marriage rather than being brave and saying that it wasn't working. 18 months on life is very different but we are all happier. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry always make me laugh these threads posted by guys who have been on here over a year alone whinging there's no spark in there relationship maybe she knows your a cheating arse hole . Why not concentrate on your relationship instead of trying to find sex outside it ? . Rant over merry xmas "
Thing is lots of guys think that they cannot fix things. We see this in our personal lives with friends and family.
Then when you ask them what they have tried, well....
What we see sometimes on here is that the wife has little spark because she is just so tired looking after the children. That is where her spark goes and rightly so.
It takes lots and lots of effort to stay on track, and lots of patience.
We don't see cheating as the answer, but it seems many do. |
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"Sorry always make me laugh these threads posted by guys who have been on here over a year alone whinging there's no spark in there relationship maybe she knows your a cheating arse hole . Why not concentrate on your relationship instead of trying to find sex outside it ? . Rant over merry xmas
Thing is lots of guys think that they cannot fix things. We see this in our personal lives with friends and family.
Then when you ask them what they have tried, well....
What we see sometimes on here is that the wife has little spark because she is just so tired looking after the children. That is where her spark goes and rightly so.
It takes lots and lots of effort to stay on track, and lots of patience.
We don't see cheating as the answer, but it seems many do."
I am tired because of work and a recent illness. I don't think all women do these days is look after the children .... you are correct though, as sometimes when things go a little 'off the boil' in a relationship, a true indication of love is to care for and support the other, not look to enhancing your relationship with swinging or by cheating. Funny old world ..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone else in similar situation? In relationship with no spark, but not as easy as just up and leaving as kids involved. Looking for similar people who just want or need chat or chill without the hassle.
Op, I think that if your relationship is that bad you have two choices, either try and work on it (which means not being on sites like this) or you finish your relationship. Your partner and your children will know you are staying due to "duty" and that's not fair. To be honest it's a cowards way out to use the children as a reason to stay. Much braver to admit you aren't happy and you'll probably find your partner isn't either, she'll know you aren't committed to the relationship. It's rubbish in the short term but far better in the long run. I know because it was me who cheated (I'm not proud of this) and used it as the reason to end my marriage rather than being brave and saying that it wasn't working. 18 months on life is very different but we are all happier. "
What a great honest piece of advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry always make me laugh these threads posted by guys who have been on here over a year alone whinging there's no spark in there relationship maybe she knows your a cheating arse hole . Why not concentrate on your relationship instead of trying to find sex outside it ? . Rant over merry xmas
Thing is lots of guys think that they cannot fix things. We see this in our personal lives with friends and family.
Then when you ask them what they have tried, well....
What we see sometimes on here is that the wife has little spark because she is just so tired looking after the children. That is where her spark goes and rightly so.
It takes lots and lots of effort to stay on track, and lots of patience.
We don't see cheating as the answer, but it seems many do."
i agree
that's very fair |
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"I think guys who post these threads just want the abuse  after all why even bother when you know what memebers are going to say "
No they post for attention that will hopefully lead to meets because like most guys on fab they're struggling to get any |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think guys who post these threads just want the abuse after all why even bother when you know what memebers are going to say "
Actually, there are some very considerate responses and constructive advice in this particular thread from single men, women and couples. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think guys who post these threads just want the abuse after all why even bother when you know what memebers are going to say
Actually, there are some very considerate responses and constructive advice in this particular thread from single men, women and couples. "
The OP wasn't looking for advice though, was he? |
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So life is shit , either call it a day and move on or close your account sort out your problems and man up . All the advice you may or may not get will count for nothing if you think that swinging will solve your problems . any one now looking will think hang on how much baggage will this guy bring on a meet |
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