FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > straight or bi-curious?
straight or bi-curious?
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Hi all,
This came up in the London chat room the other day. Are couples with a straight male more likely to reject someone on the basis that a bloke has listed themselves as bi-curious? I've put bi-curious on my profile despite never having done anything with a bloke and preferring women very strongly (I'd never play with a single bloke). I did it with the intention of indicating that I am open minded and not afraid of bicurious or bisexual people. Did I do wrong?
Regards,
Stephen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You ask
"Are couples with a straight male more likely to reject someone on the basis that a bloke has listed themselves as bi-curious?"
Maybe!!
I think I saw some where someone saying that Bi blokes were more likely to have an std and stuff like that!!
Bi blokes in our experience have been the best playmates by far but it helps that we are both Bi lol.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can answer that yes, if we see a couple with bi or bi curious male we pass them by.
It's just our preference... but if you are curious then you have done the right thing.
As I find at least from talking on the forums that more couples want bi males than don't.
Katie X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just be yourself honest and open and dont try and please everyone just wont work everyone has their own preference. But whats great is there is somebody for everybodies tastes on here and good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It depends whether you are seeking to try a guy and to what extent. At this stage I'd put yourself as straight, but indicate in your profile that you are broadminded and wouldn't (within certain limits) rule anything in or out.
I've found that there has to be openess tact and negotiation beforehand and a degree of going with the flow during the meet. The last thing anyone wants to do is offend the other party/ies. I imagin it's a sure way of a quick end, never being invited to play again and being blocked!
Probably someone will disagree with this, but that is their prergative.
Steve |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
Honesty is always the best policy and well done to you and to the couples who are up front and say NO BI GUYS.
saves everyones time and is respectful to 'preference'.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We had messages from guys saying they are not bi but still like to meet to play.
It says in our profile that we can play straight or bi. Bi is not a must. We have also noticed that people don't read profiles lol.
But we also had straight men messaging us saying they would like to try bi.
I think that a lot of men have bi-fantasies but can't admit. (I like the ones who do lol)
I like sharing a blowjob with a man  and I like watching them play - oral only though.
Would love to do it more often 
We are passing by men who say I am defo bi but don't state it on their profile!
I agree with the above - be honest!
Sandra xxxx |
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"We had messages from guys saying they are not bi but still like to meet to play.
It says in our profile that we can play straight or bi. Bi is not a must. We have also noticed that people don't read profiles lol.
But we also had straight men messaging us saying they would like to try bi.
I think that a lot of men have bi-fantasies but can't admit. (I like the ones who do lol)
I like sharing a blowjob with a man and I like watching them play - oral only though.
Would love to do it more often
We are passing by men who say I am defo bi but don't state it on their profile!
I agree with the above - be honest!
Sandra xxxx"
Ditto, we allways ask a guy who gets in touch with a 'str8' profile, have you read our profile through?
Usually then the guy will say yes i am bi or bi curious which is cool with us, so many guys out there who have str8 but are actually bi.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honesty is always the best policy and well done to you and to the couples who are up front and say NO BI GUYS.
saves everyones time and is respectful to 'preference'.
"
I really do think your right their.... the ones that annoy us are the ones that we refuse because they are bi, then a week or two later they try again... now stating straight.. only I keep a record of every refusal and why. So if I then just block.
Honesty is always best.... and To be fair.. plenty of couples and single women that do like to have bi guys... just we are not one of them.
Katie X |
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The problem with tagging yourself Bi-Curious is that it gives the impression you are positively seeking a Bi experience or to having your Bi cherry taken. Tagging yourself Bi just gives the impression every encounter must have a Bi element and this scares off Str8 guys. The reality for most Bi guys is they are happy to have no man on man contact and it's a bonus if it happens. We can see why guys aren't honest or willing to pidgeon hole themselves as it narrows their options. It could be better to avoid the tags and use the profile text more creatively. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The problem with tagging yourself Bi-Curious is that it gives the impression you are positively seeking a Bi experience or to having your Bi cherry taken. Tagging yourself Bi just gives the impression every encounter must have a Bi element and this scares off Str8 guys. The reality for most Bi guys is they are happy to have no man on man contact and it's a bonus if it happens. We can see why guys aren't honest or willing to pidgeon hole themselves as it narrows their options. It could be better to avoid the tags and use the profile text more creatively. "
I don't get this at all.
This is fantasty for me. I like playing with sub, straight men: that's what turns me on. What would be the point in removing the elements that I like just to get more meets?
Where would be the satisfaction?
I'm sure the people that get the most out of the site are those that are happy and confident with their sexuality, seeking to find playmates to enhance their sexual experience and not try to be all things to all men.
Rather sad I think as you'll never please all the people all the time - so why try?!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My experience is that you can't win. I am bi, but massively prefer women. Some str8 guys are scared of this thinking that you're gonna force your cock in them or something.
But if you don't put that you're bi then you miss out as some cpls are only looking for bi guys rather than fellas who might chicken out or bottle it at the last minute.
I don't know what the answer is. If anyone does, then let me know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My experience is that you can't win. I am bi, but massively prefer women. Some str8 guys are scared of this thinking that you're gonna force your cock in them or something.
But if you don't put that you're bi then you miss out as some cpls are only looking for bi guys rather than fellas who might chicken out or bottle it at the last minute.
I don't know what the answer is. If anyone does, then let me know."
Yes be honest... as a lady from a couple, that often plays single, I still dont want a bi guy... If someone states bi curious I dont play with them for the following reason..
If they are no longer curious and actually bi, then I dont want to play, and I prefer regular meets to one offs..
Now Master doesnt think a bi guy is going to try and jump him, its more that we just want straight guys.. and yes in someways that makes the fact we like group sessions for me harder.. as sometimes straight men are a bit shy to get it on around other men.. but its a down side we are prepared to take.
Its been said on the topic of bareback and married and playing away too... but Honesty really is what people would prefer.. yes it may mean some may not meet.. but there is always someone looking for that person.
I would imagine even the bi guy, playing bare back behind his wifes back..  ( that is meant jokingly btw)
Katie. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I guess it's different for everyone so my advice is maybe to just say what you are & be what you are. Just be str8 with everyone (pardon the turn of phrase) & take it from there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" my advice is maybe to just say what you are & be what you are. Just be str8 with everyone (pardon the turn of phrase) & take it from there."
but your profile says you are straight?
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" my advice is maybe to just say what you are & be what you are. Just be str8 with everyone (pardon the turn of phrase) & take it from there.
but your profile says you are straight?
"
Sorry but I dont like guys asking whether they should lie or not to maximise their chances of meeting. As Katie said, same issue as with bareback. Just be honest about what you are looking for and how you feel about it and people are free to take you or leave you. If you are not honest about what you would like how can you find it?
Mistress x |
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Good post, I was literally about to ask the very same question!
To be fair, I'm not a fan of pigeon-holing people as it is, sexuality isn't black and white for everybody, however I personally choose to tick the bisexual option because I'm a very open-minded guy. That's not to say I'd jump on anything with a pulse, whether male *or* female.
That said, there does seem to be some kind of 'fear' of bi men, typically from the straight male in a couple... which, when you think about it, is a bit presumptuous. 
On the other hand, you'd be suprised how many messages I receive from supposedly 'straight' guys playing away from their wives, so it works both ways I guess! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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my advice is maybe to just say what you are & be what you are. Just be str8 with everyone (pardon the turn of phrase) & take it from there.
but your profile says you are straight?
Yeah, I know.....changed it recently in a vain attempt to attract some company. I tend not to advertise the fact as primarily I'm looking to play with females.
Also I just get message after message from single guys & we all know how rude they can be.
It's very complicated this swinging business. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is something that I wondered about also.
Im a married guy just looking for some harmless fun to spice up my life.Im happily married but need a buzz back in my sexlife. ( I know that makes the happy bit seem a bit false bit im sure theres plenty of people just like me ).
I have put bi on my profile as im willing to try it with the right couple.I think it scares more couples and females away than it attracts, but im just being honest.
If its not the bi thing scaring people away...it must be my pics...lol.
Cheers Joe |
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Wow. I obviously touched a nerve here. All I can suggest is we lobby those running the site to add a kline grid and/or kinsey instead of just the narrow shades of grey currently as options.
By the way, its not a question of lying to get more contacts. Its trying to avoid being filtered out for the wrong reason. I suppose its a good thing to filter out people who can't be bothered to read your profile all the way through. Though my profile is obscenely long. I just can't help but worry people might get filtered out on the wrong basis. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are both bi curious and we say so on our profile, if people are put off by that and do not want to meet then that is fine with us. We'd rather be honest than lie and you really should be honest when it comes to swinging in our opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Way I see it is that everyone has the right to choose the type of person they invite into there life, if there not happy with a bi or bi curious person the a polite no thanks will do, and if everyone is honest on profiles by stating who they want and don't want then everyone should be happy
well in theory anyway |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We always discuss preferences, desires and the "do's and dont's" with the couples we meet before hand. We are happy to play with bi males providing everyone is on the same wave length. Matthew is straight, however does not feel uncomfortable if we are playing with a bi male, providing the gentleman in question is aware of our preferences and is happy to play straight.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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no i think you did the right thing, we are looking for a bi fem couple and whos hubby/bf is bi curious and the only way to find them is if you put it on the profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wonder if there are any gay people that are straight-curious.
It's probably too embarrassing for them to admit."
yes there are - am sure i have seen that on at least 1 profile on here |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"I wonder if there are any gay people that are straight-curious.
It's probably too embarrassing for them to admit."
for sure it would be... may indicate they can no longer colour co-ordinate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wonder if there are any gay people that are straight-curious.
It's probably too embarrassing for them to admit.
yes there are - am sure i have seen that on at least 1 profile on here "
best way is always to be as honest as you can
there is always someone out there who will 'dig you'
might not always be the ones you would want to like you but hey that's life |
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i'm currently trying to set up a threesome with two fit bi guys. along the way i have discovered that quite a few bi and bi curious guys have two profiles - one straight and one bi. so i've been getting mail from guys who say check out my other profile - or from guys who i'm already trying to set up a one on one meet with saying the same. they say that they do this cos they find lots of women and couples don't want to meet bi guys. still haven't decided how i feel about this... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i'm currently trying to set up a threesome with two fit bi guys. along the way i have discovered that quite a few bi and bi curious guys have two profiles - one straight and one bi. so i've been getting mail from guys who say check out my other profile - or from guys who i'm already trying to set up a one on one meet with saying the same. they say that they do this cos they find lots of women and couples don't want to meet bi guys. still haven't decided how i feel about this..."
I have enough trouble keeping up with one profile! So i just stick to being honest and listed myself as bi  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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u didnt do wrong , but i ( lolly ) tend to vet who we contact and i know im silly but if a guy ticks bi curious then im thinking in a MMF im not getting all the attention greedy i know also if my hubbie thought the guy was bi curious well we wouldnt meet x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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depends what the person is like though. With a couple with a straight male i have no interest in converting him or anything like that! Some of us bi guys can resist licking and sucking those big juicy throbbing hard cocks! oops sorry drifting off there thinking about them!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What frustrates us, is the hypocrasy of some people, where they insist on "honest" profiles, but then object if that honesty is not in their interests. Let me elaborate.....
We are a couple and have been active swingers foe years. I (the male) am quite straight, and, although I have no interest in any form of bi-sexual activity, have no strong feelings regarding other males who indulge in gay or bi-sexual activity. Then you have my wife.....now she is bi-sexual herself and will happily play with another woman, BUT, she has a real phobia about male bi or gay behaviour. She knows and admits that it is quite irrational, and she bears no personal feelings of angst to any such male. It is, put simply, a physical revulsion (it actually makes her feel sick) at the very thought of male on male contact. Even the "bi-curious" title, to her means that the guy in question is willing to consider such contact, which she can't handle!
Now, she actually wishes she was not like that, and has tried to "cure" herself, but to no avail. It is, in effect, a phobia, which she can no more control than another person could overcome their fear of (for example) heights.
Obviously, we avoid profiles that say they are bi or bi-curious. But on occassion we have been contacted by "straight" men who then go on to explain that they are quite happy to suck another guy off! When we have pointed out that our profile makes it quite clear that such is not for us, we frequently get treated to torrents of abuse!
Obviously, we would much prefer people to be totally honest in their profiles, to avoid such situations. But I fear it will never happen! |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"What frustrates us, is the hypocrasy of some people, where they insist on "honest" profiles, but then object if that honesty is not in their interests. Let me elaborate.....
We are a couple and have been active swingers foe years. I (the male) am quite straight, and, although I have no interest in any form of bi-sexual activity, have no strong feelings regarding other males who indulge in gay or bi-sexual activity. Then you have my wife.....now she is bi-sexual herself and will happily play with another woman, BUT, she has a real phobia about male bi or gay behaviour. She knows and admits that it is quite irrational, and she bears no personal feelings of angst to any such male. It is, put simply, a physical revulsion (it actually makes her feel sick) at the very thought of male on male contact. Even the "bi-curious" title, to her means that the guy in question is willing to consider such contact, which she can't handle!
Now, she actually wishes she was not like that, and has tried to "cure" herself, but to no avail. It is, in effect, a phobia, which she can no more control than another person could overcome their fear of (for example) heights.
Obviously, we avoid profiles that say they are bi or bi-curious. But on occassion we have been contacted by "straight" men who then go on to explain that they are quite happy to suck another guy off! When we have pointed out that our profile makes it quite clear that such is not for us, we frequently get treated to torrents of abuse!
Obviously, we would much prefer people to be totally honest in their profiles, to avoid such situations. But I fear it will never happen!"
Your profile is very honest and any Bi/Bi cur/Str8 guy who sucks/or gets sucked who still contact you for a meet brings the site down in my opinion. They spoilt it for all and do a disservice to building healthier relationships between different orientation groups on here.
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Mistress x
