FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Social Presence not translating into play meets!
Social Presence not translating into play meets!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So I went through my verifications tonight. Verified by 33 people, but only 9 of them are actual play meets or a play social that I attended.
Many single men here moan about not getting meets, and often it's because they aren't putting themselves out there for socials and whatnot (not flying their flag enough basically). Clearly that's not an issue for me, so what's it I'm doing wrong that my Fab profile looks more like something off a dating website when it comes to the interactions I have with people?
It's nice to meet people socially and have drinks and a good time overall. But this is Fab, let's be honest the sex is the main reason why we joined in the first place. If my presence being confirmed at large social meets and parties aren't translating into me getting opportunities to play then what's the whole point of it all?
Someone please enlighten me or give some advice! Thanks. |
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I don't think there's anything wrong as such. If you went to 33 social occasions off Fab would you consider 9 of them ending sexually a success or a failure?
Its true for you that sex is the main reason to be here but not for everyone so I would say its possibly a case of managing expectations rather than anything being wrong.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Out of the 33, how many would you feel would be needed to convert to play for you to feel successful? "
Maybe half?? Like something round 15 would be par fine for the course. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't think there's anything wrong as such. If you went to 33 social occasions off Fab would you consider 9 of them ending sexually a success or a failure?
Its true for you that sex is the main reason to be here but not for everyone so I would say its possibly a case of managing expectations rather than anything being wrong.
"
Oh I know about managing expectations but it's just been in my experience to run into too many on here just faffing about and not really knowing what they're after. Like neither here nor there. |
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"I don't think there's anything wrong as such. If you went to 33 social occasions off Fab would you consider 9 of them ending sexually a success or a failure?
Its true for you that sex is the main reason to be here but not for everyone so I would say its possibly a case of managing expectations rather than anything being wrong.
Oh I know about managing expectations but it's just been in my experience to run into too many on here just faffing about and not really knowing what they're after. Like neither here nor there. "
If you're questioning the point of being here it seems that your expectations aren't being met.
Could the problem be one of compatibility rather than other people not knowing what they're after? |
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"Out of the 33, how many would you feel would be needed to convert to play for you to feel successful?
Maybe half?? Like something round 15 would be par fine for the course. "
My honest opinion is you have too high an expectation on compatibility and a somewhat negative outlook. Remember everyone in Starbucks - I'm bi so could choose anyone and not one person interested me. I'm not for everyone, everyone's not for me. Same with you. Focus on those that are interested in you, forget the rest. You have a 1 in 4 ratio and I think you do far better than most. Complaining and looking at the negative can come across as unattractive which may also put people of. HTH |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't think there's anything wrong as such. If you went to 33 social occasions off Fab would you consider 9 of them ending sexually a success or a failure?
Its true for you that sex is the main reason to be here but not for everyone so I would say its possibly a case of managing expectations rather than anything being wrong.
Oh I know about managing expectations but it's just been in my experience to run into too many on here just faffing about and not really knowing what they're after. Like neither here nor there.
If you're questioning the point of being here it seems that your expectations aren't being met.
Could the problem be one of compatibility rather than other people not knowing what they're after?"
Possibly. It's definitely something that I do keep at the back of my head too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know what you mean by faffing about. This is why I don't do socials. I want sex, not a date, though I've just been for the forums atm."
The social side of swinging can be as important as the SEX !!!!!!
No its NOT a date but the art of conversation and respect may actually get you somewhere nearer to another person's bed.
It's a swing site NOT a sex site.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I know what you mean by faffing about. This is why I don't do socials. I want sex, not a date, though I've just been for the forums atm.
The social side of swinging can be as important as the SEX !!!!!!
No its NOT a date but the art of conversation and respect may actually get you somewhere nearer to another person's bed.
It's a swing site NOT a sex site.
"
Being disrespectful or lacking conversation skills are definitely the last thing anyone has said of me. So explain to me why that hasn't translated into my favour and I see so many profiles in my area moaning about disrespectful men messing them about and spamming messages?
All these are legit point and by no means moaning. So please don't dismiss them as such! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know what you mean by faffing about. This is why I don't do socials. I want sex, not a date, though I've just been for the forums atm.
The social side of swinging can be as important as the SEX !!!!!!
No its NOT a date but the art of conversation and respect may actually get you somewhere nearer to another person's bed.
It's a swing site NOT a sex site.
"
It's not just for swingers though.The social side does nothing for me and as a single guy it's not really the best thing either. |
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"I know what you mean by faffing about. This is why I don't do socials. I want sex, not a date, though I've just been for the forums atm.
The social side of swinging can be as important as the SEX !!!!!!
No its NOT a date but the art of conversation and respect may actually get you somewhere nearer to another person's bed.
It's a swing site NOT a sex site.
Being disrespectful or lacking conversation skills are definitely the last thing anyone has said of me. So explain to me why that hasn't translated into my favour and I see so many profiles in my area moaning about disrespectful men messing them about and spamming messages?
All these are legit point and by no means moaning. So please don't dismiss them as such! "
Being respectful and the ability to hold a conversation does NOT make someone want to fuck you! I've given advice privately by email, over coffee in person and now again. It's the same questions you're asking. I don't get what it is you don't get about this. People have choice. Some do some don't. I'm out. Good luck.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know what you mean by faffing about. This is why I don't do socials. I want sex, not a date, though I've just been for the forums atm.
The social side of swinging can be as important as the SEX !!!!!!
No its NOT a date but the art of conversation and respect may actually get you somewhere nearer to another person's bed.
It's a swing site NOT a sex site.
Being disrespectful or lacking conversation skills are definitely the last thing anyone has said of me. So explain to me why that hasn't translated into my favour and I see so many profiles in my area moaning about disrespectful men messing them about and spamming messages?
All these are legit point and by no means moaning. So please don't dismiss them as such! "
I was quoting cobaltkid |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know what you mean by faffing about. This is why I don't do socials. I want sex, not a date, though I've just been for the forums atm.
The social side of swinging can be as important as the SEX !!!!!!
No its NOT a date but the art of conversation and respect may actually get you somewhere nearer to another person's bed.
It's a swing site NOT a sex site.
Being disrespectful or lacking conversation skills are definitely the last thing anyone has said of me. So explain to me why that hasn't translated into my favour and I see so many profiles in my area moaning about disrespectful men messing them about and spamming messages?
All these are legit point and by no means moaning. So please don't dismiss them as such!
I was quoting cobaltkid"
Like l was saying though, what you like is not what all like.
You don't need a social for sex. Two adults who are mutually attracted is all it takes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I would still go along to these socials with no expectations other than to meet new people.
Then you won't feel disappointed about going home alone but happy you had a good night.
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By *amesB66Man
over a year ago
St Peter Port |
Read your profile and veris. Me thinks you protest too much!
Socials are not just a pre cursor to sex, they are a means of introducing ourselves and seeing whether there is enough of a connection to take things further.
I have made many more social, than sexual friends on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know what you mean by faffing about. This is why I don't do socials. I want sex, not a date, though I've just been for the forums atm.
The social side of swinging can be as important as the SEX !!!!!!
No its NOT a date but the art of conversation and respect may actually get you somewhere nearer to another person's bed.
It's a swing site NOT a sex site.
Being disrespectful or lacking conversation skills are definitely the last thing anyone has said of me. So explain to me why that hasn't translated into my favour and I see so many profiles in my area moaning about disrespectful men messing them about and spamming messages?
All these are legit point and by no means moaning. So please don't dismiss them as such!
I was quoting cobaltkid
Like l was saying though, what you like is not what all like.
You don't need a social for sex. Two adults who are mutually attracted is all it takes."
I don't know if I'm attracted til I've met someone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP I don't see any problem with your social to play ratio. Socialising is a prerequisite for many people in here, sometimes there will then be a mutual attraction which will lead to play and sometimes there won't. It's really quite simple |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You're sounding quite entitled to me, like you have a right to more sex than you're getting. Quite a shitty attitude, and probably makes you no better than the time wasters and spammers. You can't make people have sex with you, if they don't fancy you or want to sleep with you, they won't. Simple. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know what you mean by faffing about. This is why I don't do socials. I want sex, not a date, though I've just been for the forums atm.
The social side of swinging can be as important as the SEX !!!!!!
No its NOT a date but the art of conversation and respect may actually get you somewhere nearer to another
person's bed.
It's a swing site NOT a sex site.
Being disrespectful or lacking conversation skills are definitely the last thing anyone has said of me. So explain to me why that hasn't translated into my favour and I see so many profiles in my area moaning about disrespectful men messing them about and spamming messages?
All these are legit point and by no means moaning. So please don't dismiss them as such! "
It's simple... you aren't what they are looking for, and maybe you weren't anyway but a social would just reinforce that assumption |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know what you mean by faffing about. This is why I don't do socials. I want sex, not a date, though I've just been for the forums atm.
The social side of swinging can be as important as the SEX !!!!!!
No its NOT a date but the art of conversation and respect may actually get you somewhere nearer to another person's bed.
It's a swing site NOT a sex site.
It's not just for swingers though.The social side does nothing for me and as a single guy it's not really the best thing either."
With all due respect Cobalt Kid, if it's automatic guaranteed sex you want with no faffing around, are you sure this is the right site for you? Not being funny, but an escort site is really the only way to achieve that if you don't want to faff around.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You're sounding quite entitled to me, like you have a right to more sex than you're getting. Quite a shitty attitude, and probably makes you no better than the time wasters and spammers. You can't make people have sex with you, if they don't fancy you or want to sleep with you, they won't. Simple."
 Not to mention the disproportionate amount of men who are here looking for sex. |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
For me I would say it's about 50% but for me I know I am not suited to people's tastes for various reasons
I have said my conversion from social to play should or could be higher, as it is what it is. Don't get me wrong there are people on my social list that i want to play with but it is a case of right person right time
There are a couple where it has been soft play only but they have said no fucking, and that is fine, some have been at social events where I have got talking to someone and we have got on but due to distance and what they are looking for sex won't happen
I think if your having socials then that's a step 1, maybe if your not converting maybe think are you being to full on or not chatty enough or are you not what people expected from photos |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fucking conversion rates? When did swinging turn into a sales seminar? Personally, I find the concept of "closing the deal" and "conversion rates" highly disrespectful. You're talking about human beings sharing an intimate time with you like your month end figures, you've have met more people than the majority of the usual single guy sob stories and still not happy? Wow.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP I think you are doing fine. You've been to socials and successfully converted some of them to sex. Some men never get a meet and can't even hope to get a meet. It's a shame when men feel that they are wasting time on socials. Men have throughout history had to make an effort to get sex and risk rejection. But somehow there is a belief that Fab will mean men can, not only bypass by the 'making the effort' stage to getting sex, but also have a guaranteed shag at the end of that effort. In reality all Fab does is put sexually liberated men and women together. But that doesn't mean these sexually liberated women don't require attraction or things being said to excite them.
Mrs |
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