FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Wearing her undies in front of her for first time
Wearing her undies in front of her for first time
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I took the plunge last night. I needed to get a fetish of mine out in the open. Didn't got all that well but just wondered what people thought
Anyway almost out of sheer desperation I plucked up courage and put some PVC stocking hold ups on. I've been wearing in secret as I find it's a bit of a sexual release and have felt the need to do it. I put on PVC pants with all round zip so she could get my cock out, and a collar and lead to show my subservience and brandished a paddle. I boldly walked into the lounge while she was watching TV.
She looked at me as If to say. "What on earth". I said " Well if you wont wear them then I will". So she said "OK". I asked her if she approved and in a rather downbeat way said " no not really". It's not my thing at all. I felt rather deflated but asked her to spank me. " I asked her if she thought I was brave to do this and again her reply was a rather deflating " no not really. I think you look a bit weird".
Oh gord this wasn't going well was it. I asked if we could go on cam and have her suck my cock whilst dressed. She reluctantly agreed and said "If that's what you want". So I said "let's do it then ". I had to be assertive which wasn't at all what I wanted really. Oh if only she would take control and be a bit more enthusiastic.
Anyway to cut to the end really and ask for advice the sucking on Cam was reasonably good but again during it I asked if she was getting aroused and I was again flatly told it wasn't really doing anything for her but she sucked my cock and balls with reasonable enthusiasm and I shot my load. I asked her if she minded and she just sort of made a whatever gesture and to be fair I now feel rather flat and disappointed
So what should I do. Have another go sometime. The cat is out of the bag so to speak and she knows I like to wear stockings or should I just return to be a sad older wanker doing this sort of thing on my own 
What do people think ? Have I done something stupid and should have just kept it to myself or is it right thing to do to explore sexuality like this ?
I'm a great believer in doing things together and I was a little disappointed with the lukewarm response. however when I told her I had certain Bi needs a few years ago I suppose I got the same reaction. I think it takes time to get used to things doesn't it.
I just feel it's nice to share things and don't I want to go down route of doing things in secret.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well, firstly you went about it in a very selfish way and second you threw it all in her face then expected her to be ok with something that's a big shock to most when it's not expected, you should have started by talking with her |
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Maybe it was all a bit too much fur her to take in in one go. You might have been better telling her about it first, and tried things one step at a time.
I know what it's like to be frustrated though. I love wearing tights, but I've never been brace enough to tell my wife.
So kudus to you for trying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for not being too negative like the first comment, which I suppose if one puts head up above parapet one is going to get cheap potshots.
"
Why should I not be too negative? You asked for opinions, don't throw your toys out of the pram just because you don't like them. If one behaves like an asshole then don't be surprised if one gets called an asshole. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you've done too much too soon. You should maybe have spoken to her about your fantasies before springing it on her. She was probably a bit shocked. Kudos for being brace enough to do it but maybe talk to her about it and not us.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well, firstly you went about it in a very selfish way and second you threw it all in her face then expected her to be ok with something that's a big shock to most when it's not expected, you should have started by talking with her "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You have a couples profile and some of the pics show you in a few outfits, if that is you, so she must have had a bit of an idea about what your into. "
Yes indeed. You are 100% right. She said precisely that and said it was not a suprise. You are right my wearing of PVC fetish stuff has been a bit of a warm up act. 
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By *ndigo40Woman
over a year ago
secret town |
"I took the plunge last night. I needed to get a fetish of mine out in the open. Didn't got all that well but just wondered what people thought
Anyway almost out of sheer desperation I plucked up courage and put some PVC stocking hold ups on. I've been wearing in secret as I find it's a bit of a sexual release and have felt the need to do it. I put on PVC pants with all round zip so she could get my cock out, and a collar and lead to show my subservience and brandished a paddle. I boldly walked into the lounge while she was watching TV.
She looked at me as If to say. "What on earth". I said " Well if you wont wear them then I will". So she said "OK". I asked her if she approved and in a rather downbeat way said " no not really". It's not my thing at all. I felt rather deflated but asked her to spank me. " I asked her if she thought I was brave to do this and again her reply was a rather deflating " no not really. I think you look a bit weird".
Oh gord this wasn't going well was it. I asked if we could go on cam and have her suck my cock whilst dressed. She reluctantly agreed and said "If that's what you want". So I said "let's do it then ". I had to be assertive which wasn't at all what I wanted really. Oh if only she would take control and be a bit more enthusiastic.
Anyway to cut to the end really and ask for advice the sucking on Cam was reasonably good but again during it I asked if she was getting aroused and I was again flatly told it wasn't really doing anything for her but she sucked my cock and balls with reasonable enthusiasm and I shot my load. I asked her if she minded and she just sort of made a whatever gesture and to be fair I now feel rather flat and disappointed
So what should I do. Have another go sometime. The cat is out of the bag so to speak and she knows I like to wear stockings or should I just return to be a sad older wanker doing this sort of thing on my own
What do people think ? Have I done something stupid and should have just kept it to myself or is it right thing to do to explore sexuality like this ?
I'm a great believer in doing things together and I was a little disappointed with the lukewarm response. however when I told her I had certain Bi needs a few years ago I suppose I got the same reaction. I think it takes time to get used to things doesn't it.
I just feel it's nice to share things and don't I want to go down route of doing things in secret.
"
You say you are a firm believer in doing things together?
Looking like a fat old Wanker ( your words not mine) isn't doing things together
Don't blame her for been luke warm |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You are who you are and you enjoy what you enjoy.....better off playing together, maybe you can work it into your dynamic between you?"
Thanks for those kind words and gosh did I need to see that when I logged in this morning.
I was half expecting a load of nasty stuff but I expect most people take the attitude of live and let live and don't comment. Sometimes we have to take a risk or 2 and I felt that's what I did. We sometimes have to be dragged out of our comfort zone to feel alive.
I can see where some of the words come from and some have been said in a rather vitriolic, offensive way but that is the way of the forum isn't it.
You gotta be thick skinned and not take it to heart. Thanks again peeps for your comments. good or bad, all I wanted was a bit of advice and to be fair there has been a real balance of opinion. I obviously prefer the nicer more positive ones, but rough with smooth eh.
We have talked about it since and generally she is OK with it. Just mustn't make too much of a habit of it I guess is the advice from Mrs N.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hopefully you can work through thing's together,I'm not sure how I would feel to be honest. If your wife isn't really feeling it,can you do it separately to her?"
We'll be fine thanks. We have had a few words about it since and generally all good. xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The actual title of the thread doesn't make much sense if she's seen you in them before... and going by your pics she obviously has 
I have stories about my first time when Mrs M found I like to wear knickers, but I won't bore everyone with that, but it worked out very well and she now accepts everything about me. |
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Does she know you have posted this on the forums ? If you have basically forced her on cam for your needs it doesn't show you as a couple in a good light to other people that might want to meet you. If she does that under duress is she doing swinging in duress ? Is she just doing everything to keep you and your needs happy ? It's questions that we would ask if we were to meet anyone that had posted something like this |
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I agree with the comments saying that you came across as selfish. Springing that on her, seeing her reaction and still pushing her to go on cam to please you is incredibly dickish.
Is this fantasy / fetish something you'd mentioned to her in the past? If so, did she give any hint that being surprised like this would be a good experience? Have you tried to explore any of her fantasies or fetishes in use same way or is it more of a one-way street?
It really does sound like she's only indulging you to keep you happy. I'd probably look to have a conversation about why that is with her soon. And why exactly she isn't a fan of men in knickers. There may be something in her past that is connected negatively. |
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By *ustMe06Woman
over a year ago
...the naughty spot. |
Having all that sprung on her must have been pretty jolting.. you can't really predict how she was going to react...
I'd say there's nothing wrong with what you want and I respect that it was a brave act but perhaps a little misplaced. You thought about what you wanted but maybe not enough about how she might feel. Go back to basics...start a conversation while you're not dressed so you don't feel attacked and she can be open without worrying about hurting you. Communication is the only way to resolve this...even if it's that you do it alone...but at least she knows..
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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dear OP - something that worked for us that you might like to try.....
cuddle up in bed, get cosy, chat about how important sexual fulfilment is to eachother....if the conversation is going well each of you write down 5 things you would like to try - read the lists, pick one thing from the other person's list and give it a go.....no pressure to continue if it doesn't feel good, m x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do you know there have been some really thoughtful answers from people about this and I really have to say thanks for the advice. I think some of them are a bit harsh but in a room full of people no one will ever agree entirely on a course of action but other more empathetic people perhaps know exactly where I'm coming from. Mrs N and I do not swing under Duress as some suggest. She has absolutely no pressure from me and if she says no then the answer is no. Sometimes she says Yes
She knows about the post as we do speak so no probs there and I've said that actually doing this post has actually been quite enlightening. tough from some but as I said if you stick your head above parapet then expect to get shot at and to be fair no one knows all about what goes on behind closed doors.
Once again thanks for the advice. perhaps the thread has run it's course now and most peeps who are interested have said their bit.
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