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going to a swingers club alone as single male, what to expect
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I will be going down alone as in quit discreet and new to all this. Please tell me what to expect, what to wear, what to do etc. Will there be other single guys and what's the ratio single/couples. I don't want to play atm |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't hover around folks looking awkward smile be polite and confident to be honest I admire you I only bit the bullet recently but went with a friend who knows the scene but everyone I met was great,and be honest tell them its your first time folks will help you out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As others have said, don't expect too much, but if you chat to people and give them the chance to get to know you then you could well get an invite later in the evening. Don't be a groper or a wallflower, just be sociable and chat to anyone you get the chance to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm in the same boat mate. I went for my first time alone not long ago and my only advice would be to chat to people and be yourself. Everyone is there o have fun, so don't expect anything will be certain but be nice and you never know. I'm going to radlett tonight, give me a message if you want a bit of morale support. No I'm not gay I promise you that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't go and this is why. You are pretty much treated as second class and with the attitude of an expectation of gratitude and that as a male you must put up with any treatment from a woman. I doubt anyone even cares about gropey women, nay, no doubt may find it funny.
Nobody is above me and that's why l don't go to these places. In the real world, average looking women (which is most) hold no "power" compared to the world of fab and non swinging circles. Thank God for reality.
I'd rather just going to a club and pull. Less demeaning. |
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Its nerve wracking for anyone going to a club for the first time.
Have a good look at the club website before you go. All the rules will be on there along with details of the dress code. Most clubs have a smart/casual dress code - i.e you're not going to a wedding or funeral but you should still make an effort to look good.
When you get there ask for a club tour as its your first visit. Don't be offended if the club host goes through the rules again with you, they are just making sure you know what is acceptable. On my first visit they did this with me too and told me to report anything I'm uncomfortable with such as people being too pushy or touching without asking.
Be warm and friendly and just chat to people like you would anywhere else. It may be a swingers club where people meet and play but the social aspect is equally, if not more important than the sex.
There will probably be other single men just wandering around, cock in hand, looking for someone to watch while they wank. Sometimes they are referred to as "the cock conga" lol and I would probably advise against copying them. Most people who want to play with a single male would rather have had a chat first.
You don't have to play with anyone if you don't want to, just say no thanks. On my first club visit i went intending to not play and everyone was very respectful of this.
Most important of all - just relax and have a good night  |
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By *ndigo40Woman
over a year ago
secret town |
"I will be going down alone as in quit discreet and new to all this. Please tell me what to expect, what to wear, what to do etc. Will there be other single guys and what's the ratio single/couples. I don't want to play atm"
Take a razor |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Attend them with no expectations, be sociable...watch how the other successful guys behave..."
This.
The unsuccessful ones tend to rush around the club looking for action.
They don't smile. They keep pulling at their cocks trying to make it look longer.
Just try to relax. Be non pushy. Be friendly but don't overdo it.
Good luck. Clubs can be so much fun.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Take a razor
I think going "bladed up" is a bit aggressive myself 
.
Bic razors arent that sharp
What's the point of their existence then?"
Shelf fillers |
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"I will be going down alone as in quit discreet and new to all this. Please tell me what to expect, what to wear, what to do etc. Will there be other single guys and what's the ratio single/couples. I don't want to play atm"
will this be your first time in a club?
|
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On my giddy Aunt, this Op was bragging yesterday about all the women he met in clubs but couldn't meet here, he now says he's a club newbie. Sadly another desperate look at me thread from somebody who doesn't take forumites advice. Sounds harsh but should we really give him anymore time? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't expect anyone to approach you or speak to you first. You will need to make all the moves. "
Sorry buts thats rubbish !! If my wife likes the look of a guy in a club she gives me that knowing look i go over introduced myself and ask if you fancy chatting to my wife at all then just see what happens . Too many guys just walk around clubs without even chatting to people but expect my wife to play with them if they stand at the bottom of a bed holding their cock out !! We dont expect a 20 min conversation just hi how are you im such and such then go from there . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't go and this is why. You are pretty much treated as second class and with the attitude of an expectation of gratitude and that as a male you must put up with any treatment from a woman. I doubt anyone even cares about gropey women, nay, no doubt may find it funny.
Nobody is above me and that's why l don't go to these places. In the real world, average looking women (which is most) hold no "power" compared to the world of fab and non swinging circles. Thank God for reality.
I'd rather just going to a club and pull. Less demeaning."
And what club did you go to, to be able to come with this conclusion? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't expect anyone to approach you or speak to you first. You will need to make all the moves. "
Not strictly true!
Best approach from the point of view of a couple:
Give it a go, be well groomed - dress well smell better! If the club has a bar, go and have a drink - DONT get d*unk! Relax, talk - conversation goes a long way. Don't get caught up in grouping together with other single men (i.e. Standing in a group makes you look like pack hunters or vultures.... neither very appealing!)
Don't have any expectations, treat it like a social, once you feel comfortable have a walk around... but don't ping pong all night long.
Most importantly be polite and remember no means no.....
Hope that helps OP |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On my giddy Aunt, this Op was bragging yesterday about all the women he met in clubs but couldn't meet here, he now says he's a club newbie. Sadly another desperate look at me thread from somebody who doesn't take forumites advice. Sounds harsh but should we really give him anymore time?"
Seems like the OP doesn't have much of a memory. Lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On my giddy Aunt, this Op was bragging yesterday about all the women he met in clubs but couldn't meet here, he now says he's a club newbie. Sadly another desperate look at me thread from somebody who doesn't take forumites advice. Sounds harsh but should we really give him anymore time?
Seems like the OP doesn't have much of a memory. Lol
"
In all fairness to the OP he posted this 5 days ago , his anti fab women rant started 3 days ago |
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"On my giddy Aunt, this Op was bragging yesterday about all the women he met in clubs but couldn't meet here, he now says he's a club newbie. Sadly another desperate look at me thread from somebody who doesn't take forumites advice. Sounds harsh but should we really give him anymore time?"
yup i noticed that too  . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't expect anyone to approach you or speak to you first. You will need to make all the moves.
Sorry buts thats rubbish !! If my wife likes the look of a guy in a club she gives me that knowing look i go over introduced myself and ask if you fancy chatting to my wife at all then just see what happens . Too many guys just walk around clubs without even chatting to people but expect my wife to play with them if they stand at the bottom of a bed holding their cock out !! We dont expect a 20 min conversation just hi how are you im such and such then go from there . "
That's not been my experience. Firstly no I don't hang around in a pack of single men pulling on my cock hoping to getting invited in on some couple action. I hang around in the bar. What I've seen is groups of couples in their little social circles. Thoroughgout my time there I've been completely blanked, not even being looked in the eye as I held a door open for someone. With hindsight I should have taken a good book to read. |
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"Don't expect anyone to approach you or speak to you first. You will need to make all the moves.
Sorry buts thats rubbish !! If my wife likes the look of a guy in a club she gives me that knowing look i go over introduced myself and ask if you fancy chatting to my wife at all then just see what happens . Too many guys just walk around clubs without even chatting to people but expect my wife to play with them if they stand at the bottom of a bed holding their cock out !! We dont expect a 20 min conversation just hi how are you im such and such then go from there .
That's not been my experience. Firstly no I don't hang around in a pack of single men pulling on my cock hoping to getting invited in on some couple action. I hang around in the bar. What I've seen is groups of couples in their little social circles. Thoroughgout my time there I've been completely blanked, not even being looked in the eye as I held a door open for someone. With hindsight I should have taken a good book to read. "
Maybe bi nights at Chams are different. We go to meet single men (yes I know we want bi men but we also go on straight nights and want single men!) - we never expect singles to do all the work and often invite them to join us if they're making an effort to stand away from the followers and engage us with conversation. Maybe we're just odd... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Maybe bi nights at Chams are different. We go to meet single men (yes I know we want bi men but we also go on straight nights and want single men!) - we never expect singles to do all the work and often invite them to join us if they're making an effort to stand away from the followers and engage us with conversation. Maybe we're just odd..."
Been told about the bi night there, maybe something worth looking into?
Oh and I'm 6ft 1in tall, slim to average build and can hold a conversation with couples |
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"
Maybe bi nights at Chams are different. We go to meet single men (yes I know we want bi men but we also go on straight nights and want single men!) - we never expect singles to do all the work and often invite them to join us if they're making an effort to stand away from the followers and engage us with conversation. Maybe we're just odd...
Been told about the bi night there, maybe something worth looking into?
Oh and I'm 6ft 1in tall, slim to average build and can hold a conversation with couples "
It's a very hot night Check out the club section and website for more information. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Hang on OP...aren't you the same person bemoaning the fact you can't get meets through Fab but never have any problems at clubs on this thread?:
https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/support/573632
So which is it? You've never been to a club and your other thread is BS, or you have been to one and this thread is BS? I'm confused  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Maybe bi nights at Chams are different. We go to meet single men (yes I know we want bi men but we also go on straight nights and want single men!) - we never expect singles to do all the work and often invite them to join us if they're making an effort to stand away from the followers and engage us with conversation. Maybe we're just odd...
Been told about the bi night there, maybe something worth looking into?
Oh and I'm 6ft 1in tall, slim to average build and can hold a conversation with couples
It's a very hot night Check out the club section and website for more information. "
Tried to call them about this night....they don't seem very helpful over the phone though |
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By *sl300Man
over a year ago
Sussex |
I went to AbFabs as a single person last Friday, this was my first time in a swinging club.
I am pretty confident approaching people and holding a good conversation, but I must admit I was a little nervous, not having a drink due to driving probably didn't help the nerves.
I had a wander around for about 5-10 minutes on my own, spoke to a couple of guys, then rescued a girl from a stalker, we hit it off very quickly, she introduced me to several people she knew and relaxed for the rest of the night.
My suggestion is be yourself, talk to males, females and couples. Don't stand away just watching and not talking to anyone as you have to make an effort. Most of all do not be a pest, saw a couple on Friday and could see how much it annoys others and how they all start talking about the annoying guest, |
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