FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > One offs, regulars and happily ever after
One offs, regulars and happily ever after
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So...
Been on Fab for a while, under this guise and another. Have had one off meets, regular meets, group meets, all sorts of meets, but I'm feeling a tad unsure about why Fab is in my life.
Don't get me wrong the meets I've had have been a lot of fun, and I hope those I met with feel the same. I guess I'm not sure what Fab is bringing to my life at the moment.
Anyone else get that feeling from this place? It can be quite shallow at times I guess and I think I want more mental connections, people I love chatting to as much as I like fucking them. I don't think I want a full on relationship, but I'm needing something more than great sex I think.
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By *adyDangerWoman
over a year ago
land of debauchery and kink |
Yes I know where your coming from. I'm waving in and out of feeling maybe I want a bit more than what this site offers, then I change my mind and think nooooo you don't want that domesticated lifestyle. I'm very undecided at the minute. I think I'd like to date with no expectations |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i'm similar. don't really feel comfortable with fuck and go and feel a bit used and that totally isn't my thing at all. well, one guy does this well (the fuck and go) but he doesn't leave me felling used.
think it's why i don't like 1 on 1 now and prefer 3sums. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks both.
It's not that I want a relationship, just more connection with someone I guess. Sounds like a relationship though I guess.
Funnily it was an MMF last night that suddenly made me address this feeling |
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When I set my original profile up as single Fem, I expressed interest in either NSA or something more if the right guy came along.
Let's just say I've been incredibly lucky to meet someone who I have chemistry with and stimulates my mind enough for us to be beyond fuck buddies.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You're right, but a lot of the time I think friends on here is just a way to keep track of the people you're meeting, and isn't necessarily about friendships that have more worth than sex.
Sorry to those on my friends list, that makes me sound shallow about our friendships, I hope you know me better than that.
I guess having sex is great, well in fact we know it is, I just want someone to chew the cud with as well as bonking all day and all night, without it being an exclusive relationship and full of the expectations that go with that.
Something about cake and eating it is probably relevant about now.
Maybe that's where FWB comes into it? Have spoken to a few people on here that stimulate my mind, but they all live a very long way away so the body stimulation is highly unlikely to happen.
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By *not69Man
over a year ago
Lancashire |
Pretty much feel the same. Although I'm not looking for a full on relationship I would love to meet someone for regular fun. Not just fuck and go fuck buddy but more of a fwb where you do friends things like drinks, meals out, cozy nights in with a bottle or 3 of wine and a takeaway, but spending the night together after. Love spooning, especially in the morning  xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When we meet we put our all into each and every one . Some like to fuck and go , others like a connection and sometimes it's the most passionately charged session imaginable . Each has its merits .
But the bottom line is that we have each other for the bit that's missing . And it sounds like the op is looking for someone to share the depth with .
Neither of us would swing if it wasn't with each other so we totally get where this post is coming from . Swinging would be a shallow experience without the afterglow together .
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You're right, but a lot of the time I think friends on here is just a way to keep track of the people you're meeting, and isn't necessarily about friendships that have more worth than sex.
Sorry to those on my friends list, that makes me sound shallow about our friendships, I hope you know me better than that.
I guess having sex is great, well in fact we know it is, I just want someone to chew the cud with as well as bonking all day and all night, without it being an exclusive relationship and full of the expectations that go with that.
Something about cake and eating it is probably relevant about now.
Maybe that's where FWB comes into it? Have spoken to a few people on here that stimulate my mind, but they all live a very long way away so the body stimulation is highly unlikely to happen.
"
Should have countered that last bit with...
And met people whole stimulate my body, but not my mind in the way I feel I need it stimulated these days. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"friends is a connection too.
quite nice to see a guy thinking like this coz i do feel most guys don't really care to make a connection."
Or they say they want to make a connection in order for more fulfilling sexual encounters ...
but then they still waltz off into the sunset regardless  |
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"friends is a connection too.
quite nice to see a guy thinking like this coz i do feel most guys don't really care to make a connection.
Or they say they want to make a connection in order for more fulfilling sexual encounters ...
but then they still waltz off into the sunset regardless "
This exactly hun. I only plan on meeting regular fwbs that I can get a connection with. A few times, I've met a couple of serial shaggers that seem to get verified very frequently. Either that or I'm a shite shag  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"friends is a connection too.
quite nice to see a guy thinking like this coz i do feel most guys don't really care to make a connection.
Or they say they want to make a connection in order for more fulfilling sexual encounters ...
but then they still waltz off into the sunset regardless "
Leaving the genuine guys tarred with the same brush |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
but then they still waltz off into the sunset regardless
21 meets tells me otherwise "
If you are referring to my verifications they are all fake, given by fake people  |
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"Pretty much feel the same. Although I'm not looking for a full on relationship I would love to meet someone for regular fun. Not just fuck and go fuck buddy but more of a fwb where you do friends things like drinks, meals out, cozy nights in with a bottle or 3 of wine and a takeaway, but spending the night together after. Love spooning, especially in the morning xx"
This is what I would love! Try to put it across to people and get "that sounds like a relationship" I always say in my defense I don't want to wash your socks  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
but then they still waltz off into the sunset regardless
21 meets tells me otherwise "
These could be socials, club meets & private parties.
Not every veri means a fuck has taken place! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you go back to the hippies you find all these wonderful experiments in community building, free love, and sexual exploration. Compared to that Fab is like shoving your bits in a hoover. It would be great to see the swinging community shift back to something more rewarding. We've noticed a few threads on the forums expressing dissatisfaction so maybe it's happening. But it feels like we're pioneers of something so new we don't really know what it is and how it works. We just hope that through Fab we'll find like minds. Unfortunately, however, Fab tends to have an off-putting air of Jerry Springer rather than the seductive delights of erotic exploration... so many like us probably end up feeling it's not the place for them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you go back to the hippies you find all these wonderful experiments in community building, free love, and sexual exploration. Compared to that Fab is like shoving your bits in a hoover. It would be great to see the swinging community shift back to something more rewarding. We've noticed a few threads on the forums expressing dissatisfaction so maybe it's happening. But it feels like we're pioneers of something so new we don't really know what it is and how it works. We just hope that through Fab we'll find like minds. Unfortunately, however, Fab tends to have an off-putting air of Jerry Springer rather than the seductive delights of erotic exploration... so many like us probably end up feeling it's not the place for them "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not wishing to sound too crass, but I couldn't imagine fucking someone without at least some kind of connection.
Less crass is that I've never been with someone thinking beforehand that I never intend to see them again... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
but then they still waltz off into the sunset regardless
21 meets tells me otherwise
These could be socials, club meets & private parties.
Not every veri means a fuck has taken place! "
ahhh....he's only young, he'll learn and if not I'll block him |
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"So...
Been on Fab for a while, under this guise and another. Have had one off meets, regular meets, group meets, all sorts of meets, but I'm feeling a tad unsure about why Fab is in my life.
Don't get me wrong the meets I've had have been a lot of fun, and I hope those I met with feel the same. I guess I'm not sure what Fab is bringing to my life at the moment.
Anyone else get that feeling from this place? It can be quite shallow at times I guess and I think I want more mental connections, people I love chatting to as much as I like fucking them. I don't think I want a full on relationship, but I'm needing something more than great sex I think.
"
I was where you are about two years ago. When you've been on the scene a while and done all you need to do, wanted to do .... met some lovely people, but it does get a bit shallow and repetitive. I met my now OH and that was what we chatted about most of our first meet .... we got on like a house on fire, so we met again, very soon (breaking my two week rule) ....we had both come to the same conclusion, so we began our journey together. Neither of us decided or thought we were ready for anything more, but without us deciding, it became a relationship .... exactly where you are is where you need to be, OP, take it easy and don't force anything. What you need will come to you when the time is right ...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"friends is a connection too.
quite nice to see a guy thinking like this coz i do feel most guys don't really care to make a connection.
Or they say they want to make a connection in order for more fulfilling sexual encounters ...
but then they still waltz off into the sunset regardless "
Do you think it's the thrill of the chase?
On numerous occasions I feel I've been put on hold whilst they're in pursuit of someone else. I then get bored & the whole process of looking for my irregular regular starts over again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"friends is a connection too.
quite nice to see a guy thinking like this coz i do feel most guys don't really care to make a connection.
Or they say they want to make a connection in order for more fulfilling sexual encounters ...
but then they still waltz off into the sunset regardless
Do you think it's the thrill of the chase?
On numerous occasions I feel I've been put on hold whilst they're in pursuit of someone else. I then get bored & the whole process of looking for my irregular regular starts over again. "
wouldn't be surprised. the internet makes people very disposable and enables people to keep looking for something 'better'.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Was meeting with a couple for the better part of two years. We were thick as thieves, so much so that we were literally a threesome trio together for anything, social or play.
Unfortunately, the female half of the couple friend was the classic example of "once you go black you never go back". Drifted apart slowly but surely, the spark just went and never really came back between us. Finally fell out earlier this month and we went our separate ways. I guess people all have their seasons and change. They're still great people and I'd still give good referrals about them to others interested in them. But in my heart I know my only proper swinger friendship I had for the past two years is irrevocably gone.
Doubt I'll find anyone on here whom I can connect with on a more than physical level anymore. Hard enough to get meets as it is, and socials don't help much either when everyone would just go hi-bye to you but you're never going to be more than just that to them. Well, like they said, it's not everyone that has a trained eye for spotting a gem amongst the rough! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a fuck buddy and it's now getting in the way as I want more and she doesn't. I will still play with her and we get on great. I am also unsure that all this is giving me what I need. |
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"When I set my original profile up as single Fem, I expressed interest in either NSA or something more if the right guy came along.
Let's just say I've been incredibly lucky to meet someone who I have chemistry with and stimulates my mind enough for us to be beyond fuck buddies. "
O
Same here |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
now you know what you want, go forth with that intent..i havent ready your profile, but express what you are wanting right now and then go out to socials, clubs, munches, anywhere you are likely to mix with that type of person and speak what you want to people and be consistent..and trust you will find it..
thjerer are alot of people on here who are just in same mind frame as you are OP, looking for something else...so they are out there..
this was my strategy in finding FWB's.
go socialise but stick to my guns about what i wanted, i didnt deviate from that. i think there is some law in the universe that brings you what you ask for, but only exactly what you ask for, no more no less, if you hold it and action, that's what you want.
i trust you and the other posters find what it is they are looking for.. wishing you all happy xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are all looking for love and affection, that's my experience of the scene for the last couple of years,
And to be honest, the interracial scene I was into so much, has gone downhill.
These things come and go, perhaps at 52, it's time to hang up my boots, had some great times that will stay with me forever.
I'm enjoying the vanilla life with my main man at the moment, but I do miss the social, and party planning side .
Can you leave fab? Or will fab ever leave you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"now you know what you want, go forth with that intent..i havent ready your profile, but express what you are wanting right now and then go out to socials, clubs, munches, anywhere you are likely to mix with that type of person and speak what you want to people and be consistent..and trust you will find it..
thjerer are alot of people on here who are just in same mind frame as you are OP, looking for something else...so they are out there..
this was my strategy in finding FWB's.
go socialise but stick to my guns about what i wanted, i didnt deviate from that. i think there is some law in the universe that brings you what you ask for, but only exactly what you ask for, no more no less, if you hold it and action, that's what you want.
i trust you and the other posters find what it is they are looking for.. wishing you all happy xx"
Thank you, and yes the universe sent me want I wanted, and wished for. |
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By *not69Man
over a year ago
Lancashire |
"Pretty much feel the same. Although I'm not looking for a full on relationship I would love to meet someone for regular fun. Not just fuck and go fuck buddy but more of a fwb where you do friends things like drinks, meals out, cozy nights in with a bottle or 3 of wine and a takeaway, but spending the night together after. Love spooning, especially in the morning xx
This is what I would love! Try to put it across to people and get "that sounds like a relationship" I always say in my defense I don't want to wash your socks "
Depends how often you do it. 3 times a week is a relationship, once a fortnight isn't lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you go back to the hippies you find all these wonderful experiments in community building, free love, and sexual exploration. Compared to that Fab is like shoving your bits in a hoover. It would be great to see the swinging community shift back to something more rewarding. We've noticed a few threads on the forums expressing dissatisfaction so maybe it's happening. But it feels like we're pioneers of something so new we don't really know what it is and how it works. We just hope that through Fab we'll find like minds. Unfortunately, however, Fab tends to have an off-putting air of Jerry Springer rather than the seductive delights of erotic exploration... so many like us probably end up feeling it's not the place for them "
I think like a lot of things, for better or worse, the Internet has had an impact on swinging.
I hate to be that guy, but when we first got into all this there was a lot less drama. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"now you know what you want, go forth with that intent..i havent ready your profile, but express what you are wanting right now and then go out to socials, clubs, munches, anywhere you are likely to mix with that type of person and speak what you want to people and be consistent..and trust you will find it..
thjerer are alot of people on here who are just in same mind frame as you are OP, looking for something else...so they are out there..
this was my strategy in finding FWB's.
go socialise but stick to my guns about what i wanted, i didnt deviate from that. i think there is some law in the universe that brings you what you ask for, but only exactly what you ask for, no more no less, if you hold it and action, that's what you want.
i trust you and the other posters find what it is they are looking for.. wishing you all happy xx"
Thanks Suzy, you're the second person to talk to me recently about trusting in the universe to provide. |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"now you know what you want, go forth with that intent..i havent ready your profile, but express what you are wanting right now and then go out to socials, clubs, munches, anywhere you are likely to mix with that type of person and speak what you want to people and be consistent..and trust you will find it..
thjerer are alot of people on here who are just in same mind frame as you are OP, looking for something else...so they are out there..
this was my strategy in finding FWB's.
go socialise but stick to my guns about what i wanted, i didnt deviate from that. i think there is some law in the universe that brings you what you ask for, but only exactly what you ask for, no more no less, if you hold it and action, that's what you want.
i trust you and the other posters find what it is they are looking for.. wishing you all happy xx
Thanks Suzy, you're the second person to talk to me recently about trusting in the universe to provide. "
it provides, if you give yourself the permission to receive by consistent intent and action, i think this emanates something and then the like for like kicks in, everything else that shows up is to remind you what you want and to keep focus on that or, change your mind..well this is how my creative world works, anyway x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"now you know what you want, go forth with that intent..i havent ready your profile, but express what you are wanting right now and then go out to socials, clubs, munches, anywhere you are likely to mix with that type of person and speak what you want to people and be consistent..and trust you will find it..
thjerer are alot of people on here who are just in same mind frame as you are OP, looking for something else...so they are out there..
this was my strategy in finding FWB's.
go socialise but stick to my guns about what i wanted, i didnt deviate from that. i think there is some law in the universe that brings you what you ask for, but only exactly what you ask for, no more no less, if you hold it and action, that's what you want.
i trust you and the other posters find what it is they are looking for.. wishing you all happy xx
Thanks Suzy, you're the second person to talk to me recently about trusting in the universe to provide. it provides, if you give yourself the permission to receive by consistent intent and action, i think this emanates something and then the like for like kicks in, everything else that shows up is to remind you what you want and to keep focus on that or, change your mind..well this is how my creative world works, anyway x"
It's a good way of looking at the world and is resonating more and more with me these days. I've found in reading lots of books on clarity of thinking and a lot of people agree that through clear vision of thought and intent the things you need as you need them do manifest. |
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"now you know what you want, go forth with that intent..i havent ready your profile, but express what you are wanting right now and then go out to socials, clubs, munches, anywhere you are likely to mix with that type of person and speak what you want to people and be consistent..and trust you will find it..
thjerer are alot of people on here who are just in same mind frame as you are OP, looking for something else...so they are out there..
this was my strategy in finding FWB's.
go socialise but stick to my guns about what i wanted, i didnt deviate from that. i think there is some law in the universe that brings you what you ask for, but only exactly what you ask for, no more no less, if you hold it and action, that's what you want.
i trust you and the other posters find what it is they are looking for.. wishing you all happy xx
Thanks Suzy, you're the second person to talk to me recently about trusting in the universe to provide. it provides, if you give yourself the permission to receive by consistent intent and action, i think this emanates something and then the like for like kicks in, everything else that shows up is to remind you what you want and to keep focus on that or, change your mind..well this is how my creative world works, anyway x
It's a good way of looking at the world and is resonating more and more with me these days. I've found in reading lots of books on clarity of thinking and a lot of people agree that through clear vision of thought and intent the things you need as you need them do manifest."
These books are indeed quite big business now. I also and listen, always get the answer I need. Didn't bet on west ham to win though, and I should have because I know they would. Don't always listen to my inner self
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So...
Been on Fab for a while, under this guise and another. Have had one off meets, regular meets, group meets, all sorts of meets, but I'm feeling a tad unsure about why Fab is in my life.
Don't get me wrong the meets I've had have been a lot of fun, and I hope those I met with feel the same. I guess I'm not sure what Fab is bringing to my life at the moment.
Anyone else get that feeling from this place? It can be quite shallow at times I guess and I think I want more mental connections, people I love chatting to as much as I like fucking them. I don't think I want a full on relationship, but I'm needing something more than great sex I think.
"
Yes, yes and yes! And I'm usually criticised for being on here in the first place. Like if you don't want to fuck literally everyone then you shouldn't be on here. It's bizarre. Very off putting. Although sounds as though you've had a lot of positive experience through the site. Try and hold onto this. People you connect with are rare and to be cherished when you do find them (even if it is just a purely sexual relationship). |
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" People you connect with are rare and to be cherished when you do find them (even if it is just a purely sexual relationship). "
Yes cherish is a good word. I make no bones about wanting 'happy ever after' but sometimes we have to be content with 'meanwhile', and I do cherish the closest friendships I have made here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks Suzy, you're the second person to talk to me recently about trusting in the universe to provide. it provides, if you give yourself the permission to receive by consistent intent and action, i think this emanates something and then the like for like kicks in, everything else that shows up is to remind you what you want and to keep focus on that or, change your mind..well this is how my creative world works, anyway x"
We've definitely found life works this way too. I think it's all about attracting what you're looking for to you. And in a sense talking about this on here with others like yourselves is part of that  |
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Me and Miss actually met on here. Neither of us were looking for more than a meet. We'd been chatting for a good few months before we actually met. After finally meeting we realised we had developed feelings for each other and became a couple.
We came off here for a few months just to concentrate on us and getting to know each other. We then decided we'd like to swing as a couple.
We go through phases with Fab to be honest. Some weeks we'll be always on the look out for a meet, be it a social or club etc. Then we'll go weeks were we dont look for anybody to meet.
We are very happy in our relationship and this is an extra for us. Just sometimes we cant stay away and other times arent fussed. Jack. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty much feel the same. Although I'm not looking for a full on relationship I would love to meet someone for regular fun. Not just fuck and go fuck buddy but more of a fwb where you do friends things like drinks, meals out, cozy nights in with a bottle or 3 of wine and a takeaway, but spending the night together after. Love spooning, especially in the morning xx
This is what I would love! Try to put it across to people and get "that sounds like a relationship" I always say in my defense I don't want to wash your socks
Depends how often you do it. 3 times a week is a relationship, once a fortnight isn't lol "
I once met with a young guy off a swinger site for coffee, who as a joke brought me his socks to mend, a whole bag of them! I did so and posted them back. That's a FWB, right?!
"I'm very much of the same opinion I guess I don't want NSA, more like AFTA (A Few Threads Attached) "
Don't mix your strings with your threads now Unless talking to me, then there's some overlap. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So...
Been on Fab for a while, under this guise and another. Have had one off meets, regular meets, group meets, all sorts of meets, but I'm feeling a tad unsure about why Fab is in my life.
Don't get me wrong the meets I've had have been a lot of fun, and I hope those I met with feel the same. I guess I'm not sure what Fab is bringing to my life at the moment.
Anyone else get that feeling from this place? It can be quite shallow at times I guess and I think I want more mental connections, people I love chatting to as much as I like fucking them. I don't think I want a full on relationship, but I'm needing something more than great sex I think.
Yes, yes and yes! And I'm usually criticised for being on here in the first place."
Is this the official thread for the "you should be on a dating site" users?
In my first couple of years on a swinging site I was constantly told I didn't belong. Just a few weeks back a couple I hadn't even contacted messaged me to tell me to "stick to facebook". But this type of ostracising is like water off a duck's back for me now, because I have been blessed with some life-altering connections through these very sites. I know it works for me, and how.
Yes, Fabs especially is very action-orientated, it can be relentless when you are in the thick of it. But it is a case of knowing how you want to relate, and negotiating it with your prospective partner, it is an ongoing process. We may think we are on the same page, we ASSUME that we are, but so often we are not - especially here. Apropos sometimes I ponder on how ironic it is that we call it NSA, because sex is the biggest string of all: people will twist themselves, their priorities, reality even, to get some. |
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By *urvyKattWoman
over a year ago
Dumfriesshire |
I feel like I should be adding my name to this post as well. I've been in and out of relatively short to medium term relationships for quite a while. On and off sites like this for longer, done the FB thing and now it all just feels a bit flat.
Maybe I'm getting to the stage in my life that I need something more than a quick hook up with strangers for sex. These things certainly don't get any easier with age do they?  |
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"So...
Been on Fab for a while, under this guise and another. Have had one off meets, regular meets, group meets, all sorts of meets, but I'm feeling a tad unsure about why Fab is in my life.
Don't get me wrong the meets I've had have been a lot of fun, and I hope those I met with feel the same. I guess I'm not sure what Fab is bringing to my life at the moment.
Anyone else get that feeling from this place? It can be quite shallow at times I guess and I think I want more mental connections, people I love chatting to as much as I like fucking them. I don't think I want a full on relationship, but I'm needing something more than great sex I think.
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Totally get this. Swinging is great and met some lovely people and had some fantastic experiences that still make me smile.
I do miss the general shits and giggles that you have in a standard relationship, but don't want to commit to it totally due to bad experiences.
I don't overly know what I really want in terms of this site and life in general. However, I am 100% certain of what I don't want and think that's a safe starting place.
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi I am the same I love the sex with women and clubs. But I am getting to the point that I want more than just the sex. I am not in a great place at the moment and don't know what I want. |
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