FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Looking for a Mistress or a Domme
Looking for a Mistress or a Domme
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is a Web site with an area directory... you will find professional Dommes on there or there are other Fet ish sites around.
You may even find one here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"U have to pay for those professional mistress .
Obviously but it's worth it "
To me it isn't. If I pay for something then mentally, instinctively I feel I'm in control. For me having a mistress is about surrendering control. The two are contradictory. I'm not saying that's true for everyone but it is for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Even if any Domme or Mistress wishes to P.M myself for advjce on this matter i would be very thank full "
What advice will you be giving the women that pm you? |
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"Even if any Domme or Mistress wishes to P.M myself for advjce on this matter i would be very thank full
What advice will you be giving the women that pm you?"
I would tell them what i think im up for and would like to see how far they can push my limits
Maybe send a p.m and see Miss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Even if any Domme or Mistress wishes to P.M myself for advjce on this matter i would be very thank full
What advice will you be giving the women that pm you?
I would tell them what i think im up for and would like to see how far they can push my limits
Maybe send a p.m and see Miss"
That's not really giving them advice. That's telling them what you want them to do. |
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"Even if any Domme or Mistress wishes to P.M myself for advjce on this matter i would be very thank full
What advice will you be giving the women that pm you?
I would tell them what i think im up for and would like to see how far they can push my limits
Maybe send a p.m and see Miss
That's not really giving them advice. That's telling them what you want them to do."
Have to agree with you here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Very true i dont have advice as they would be in controll
If they ask for advice and i can help then i shall "
Why would they go to you for advice? Plus that's just you talking to them to get yourself off online. |
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By *otForSoftiesWoman
over a year ago
The North / Party Hard Everywhere |
I get loads of messages from guys saying I want x, y and z with no thought or consideration of my interests or desires. It can feel like they just want a service providing and hence some suggesting a Pro Domme.
If you can find someone who wants to give what you want to receive then it's great. If not you'll need to consider a professional. Good luck in your search. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get loads of messages from guys saying I want x, y and z with no thought or consideration of my interests or desires. It can feel like they just want a service providing and hence some suggesting a Pro Domme.
If you can find someone who wants to give what you want to receive then it's great. If not you'll need to consider a professional. Good luck in your search. "
That's some really good advice. |
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By *otForSoftiesWoman
over a year ago
The North / Party Hard Everywhere |
"I get loads of messages from guys saying I want x, y and z with no thought or consideration of my interests or desires. It can feel like they just want a service providing and hence some suggesting a Pro Domme.
If you can find someone who wants to give what you want to receive then it's great. If not you'll need to consider a professional. Good luck in your search.
That's some really good advice. "
Thank you. Most ladies get this in the non D/s way here with guys messaging wanting their balls emptying - they're not swingers, don't read profiles and appear uninterested in the woman's pleasure, only focused on themselves and getting off.
The successful swinging guys on fab on the whole engage and create a connection and I would suggest the same is true of subs who find a Dom/Domme here. Then it doesn't feel like unpaid domming or escorting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"U have to pay for those professional mistress .
Obviously but it's worth it
To me it isn't. If I pay for something then mentally, instinctively I feel I'm in control. For me having a mistress is about surrendering control. The two are contradictory. I'm not saying that's true for everyone but it is for me. "
Spot on.
I had a mistress for a couple of years. I had to release myself from her when she started to get feelings for me; she was no longer in control. |
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"I get loads of messages from guys saying I want x, y and z with no thought or consideration of my interests or desires. It can feel like they just want a service providing and hence some suggesting a Pro Domme.
If you can find someone who wants to give what you want to receive then it's great. If not you'll need to consider a professional. Good luck in your search. "
This is what i shall be i wpuld like to explore and please Mistress in anyway she so desires its not just about me yes id like things to happen but im more than willing to find them along the path Mistress chooses |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"I get loads of messages from guys saying I want x, y and z with no thought or consideration of my interests or desires. It can feel like they just want a service providing and hence some suggesting a Pro Domme.
If you can find someone who wants to give what you want to receive then it's great. If not you'll need to consider a professional. Good luck in your search.
This is what i shall be i wpuld like to explore and please Mistress in anyway she so desires its not just about me yes id like things to happen but im more than willing to find them along the path Mistress chooses "
I'm sorry fella but should you rephrase that of coarse its all about you as its something you want or should I say need for sexual fulfilment if your the real deal that is . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"U have to pay for those professional mistress .
Obviously but it's worth it
To me it isn't. If I pay for something then mentally, instinctively I feel I'm in control. For me having a mistress is about surrendering control. The two are contradictory. I'm not saying that's true for everyone but it is for me. "
Don't think there are many mistresses that will allow you to worship them for free. Good lucK with that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe its me.
Its about me yes and what i am searching for.
And if a Mistress tracks me down then we would both explore.
Maybe i am wording things different this would and is all new to me "
If you want to be a true submissive it would all be about your mistress/dominant. Your pleasure is in their pleasure - not yours! |
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You've got to remember subs outweigh Dommes massively. We're not hanging around waiting for you. We can take our pick.
I'm a professional Domme but have personal slaves. You have to be able to offer something worthwhile for one considering to take you on.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You've got to remember subs outweigh Dommes massively. We're not hanging around waiting for you. We can take our pick.
I'm a professional Domme but have personal slaves. You have to be able to offer something worthwhile for one considering to take you on.
"
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"Maybe its me.
Its about me yes and what i am searching for.
And if a Mistress tracks me down then we would both explore.
Maybe i am wording things different this would and is all new to me
If you want to be a true submissive it would all be about your mistress/dominant. Your pleasure is in their pleasure - not yours!"
sorry don't agree with your statement above a s needs to surrender to give because with out that surrender they can't feel sexually fulfilment a D needs the power of control but they to often like to give find sexual pleasure in taking there s to there absolute limit with out all of that they can't find sexual fulfilment .
two different sexual animals doing what they are doing for there own selfish sexual fulfilment to halves of one coin put them together and both fulfil each others needs . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe its me.
Its about me yes and what i am searching for.
And if a Mistress tracks me down then we would both explore.
Maybe i am wording things different this would and is all new to me
If you want to be a true submissive it would all be about your mistress/dominant. Your pleasure is in their pleasure - not yours!
sorry don't agree with your statement above a s needs to surrender to give because with out that surrender they can't feel sexually fulfilment a D needs the power of control but they to often like to give find sexual pleasure in taking there s to there absolute limit with out all of that they can't find sexual fulfilment .
two different sexual animals doing what they are doing for there own selfish sexual fulfilment to halves of one coin put them together and both fulfil each others needs . "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe its me.
Its about me yes and what i am searching for.
And if a Mistress tracks me down then we would both explore.
Maybe i am wording things different this would and is all new to me
If you want to be a true submissive it would all be about your mistress/dominant. Your pleasure is in their pleasure - not yours!
sorry don't agree with your statement above a s needs to surrender to give because with out that surrender they can't feel sexually fulfilment a D needs the power of control but they to often like to give find sexual pleasure in taking there s to there absolute limit with out all of that they can't find sexual fulfilment .
two different sexual animals doing what they are doing for there own selfish sexual fulfilment to halves of one coin put them together and both fulfil each others needs . "
It's all about reverse psychology. The subs pleasure is in making his mistress happy and yes he has to surrender to her to get her to act out his sexual fulfilment. However, without that subs devoted attention the dom can't gain their sexual satisfaction of dominating. So who is in ultimate control??
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"Maybe its me.
Its about me yes and what i am searching for.
And if a Mistress tracks me down then we would both explore.
Maybe i am wording things different this would and is all new to me
If you want to be a true submissive it would all be about your mistress/dominant. Your pleasure is in their pleasure - not yours!
sorry don't agree with your statement above a s needs to surrender to give because with out that surrender they can't feel sexually fulfilment a D needs the power of control but they to often like to give find sexual pleasure in taking there s to there absolute limit with out all of that they can't find sexual fulfilment .
two different sexual animals doing what they are doing for there own selfish sexual fulfilment to halves of one coin put them together and both fulfil each others needs .
It's all about reverse psychology. The subs pleasure is in making his mistress happy and yes he has to surrender to her to get her to act out his sexual fulfilment. However, without that subs devoted attention the dom can't gain their sexual satisfaction of dominating. So who is in ultimate control??
"
this old chestnut again look I'm a D I need a s to allow me to seduce consent from her.
you notice I said seduce not demand not take you see I come from the school of D where one its not about demanding dominance its a about winning submission .one goes about winning that submission by listening to ones s learning what lays at the heart of there need to submit what turns the on in the process winning there trust .
one then takes what one learns to turn ones s on mercilessly first mentally then physically but doing this ones s surrenders to there D allowing there D to guide and push their limits the ultimate aim is to take all thought from ones s replacing it with nothing but sensation of the flesh sub space .
right I need to do that because by doing so my needs as a D will be satisfied so will my s needs be met .
in that version of D/s BDSM no one has ultimate control its just two sexual animals doing together what both need for sexual fulfilment .
I've answered your question in this way because I believe all true D/s relationships are a partnership based around sexual fulfilment .
I could have easily turn your question around and said ah but with out a D a s cant get sexual fulfilment so who do you think has ultimate control but I didn't because like I said I believe both have equally as much to gain from the arrangement as they lose so there equal , why is it some people are obsessed with where the power lays in the dynamic the power is in both parties hands both give both take the whole dynamic is based around mutual respect and sexual fulfilment in my opinion not about who has the ultimate power . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've played around with D/s for about five years now, and even used to pro (but I don't do that these days) and my biggest piece of advice is make the domme want to want you. Pique her curiosity and make her wonder why she would want you. Also I find men who address me as mistress before we've negotiated to that point, I find that super creepy. Until you both work out each other's limits then you need to treat her with respect, and not grovel. Eurgh, nothing worse than an unowned grovelling slave.
Hope this helps x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I've answered your question in this way because I believe all true D/s relationships are a partnership based around sexual fulfilment ."
You are incorrect. That is not the way that everyone runs their d/s relationships. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"U have to pay for those professional mistress .
Obviously but it's worth it
To me it isn't. If I pay for something then mentally, instinctively I feel I'm in control. For me having a mistress is about surrendering control. The two are contradictory. I'm not saying that's true for everyone but it is for me.
Don't think there are many mistresses that will allow you to worship them for free. Good lucK with that"
I don't charge for subs to see me. Most people I know don't charge their submissives. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It can take a while to find the right sub or domme. I'm always on the look out for the right sub as I get bored very easily with mine but remember a lot into this do this 24/7
Maybe visit a few clubs and join fet life to get a good feel of the lifestyle
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"op there are those in here who will tell you its not a partnership don't listen to them or any D who tells you otherwise ."
OP - please understand that there are different types of relationship, different people enjoy BDSM in different ways, and people aren't *wrong* because they enjoy sex a different way to another person. |
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I get a lot of messages from guys looking for a Domme.
Yes I am looking but I don't want just an occasional plaything, nor am I interested in online relationships.
Finding a sub who's needs most closely match mine takes a long time. It's certainly not something to be entered into lightly. The responsibility on myself is immense and the trust needed can only be built over time through mutually agreed limits and boundaries.
Red x |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"I get a lot of messages from guys looking for a Domme.
Yes I am looking but I don't want just an occasional plaything, nor am I interested in online relationships.
Finding a sub who's needs most closely match mine takes a long time. It's certainly not something to be entered into lightly. The responsibility on myself is immense and the trust needed can only be built over time through mutually agreed limits and boundaries.
Red x "
well put having a s is a huge undertaking as one has a duty of care to ones s well being emotionally and physically as well as the responsibility of need fulfilment .
so one never enters lightly into such a dynamic well I don't as for others I can not speak as this world is full of wana bees both D and s . |
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