FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Those deleted messages...
Those deleted messages...
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I know it's been mentioned before and is a bug bear of a LOT of people on here. But why just delete a message without replying?!?!
It takes 10 seconds to write a quick - "thanks, but not for me" or even just a "no thanks" When I was on here as part of a couple we got inundated with messages daily. Yet we made a point of replying to every single one. Yeah sure if the guy got pushy and kept messaging he'd just get blocked, but we had the decency to tell them yes or no
Jeez peeps there's no reason the swinging lifestyle cant be friendly even if certain people do ruin it by being pushy or aggressive
Rant over  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If they're getting so many messages those 10 seconds will turn in to hours eventually. I can see why people are offended but that's just the way it is, it would be a massive time waste for some. They don't owe anyone a reply |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know it's been mentioned before and is a bug bear of a LOT of people on here. But why just delete a message without replying?!?!
It takes 10 seconds to write a quick - "thanks, but not for me" or even just a "no thanks" When I was on here as part of a couple we got inundated with messages daily. Yet we made a point of replying to every single one. Yeah sure if the guy got pushy and kept messaging he'd just get blocked, but we had the decency to tell them yes or no
Jeez peeps there's no reason the swinging lifestyle cant be friendly even if certain people do ruin it by being pushy or aggressive
Rant over "
If people message us clearly outside of what we are looking for why should we feel obliged to respond?
Or in another way, I have caller ID on my phone and I ignore those unsolicited calls, shouldn't I?
I don't open junk mail let alone write back to them saying no thanks, should I? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because today I've had over 60 inboxes (I'll state it is a quiet day)
If I did 10 seconds with each then the inevitable back and forth, why etc. That would be a lot of time wasted on other people I am interested in or work/children, you know, that normal life stuff. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because there not interested. Simple  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get so may I delete them without reading too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Many** |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A polite no thanks can sometimes lead to another reply and before you know it you're having a conversation that you don't want.
Saying that I do try and respond to messages where possible unless they are rude. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not meeting atm due to my health but I do still like to recive messages as there maybe someone who id like to chat with with a view of meeting in the future. So I do block delete on a weekly basis once I've replied to the messages I want to. Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We always reply to every message or wink we get, unless the message is rude, or ignorant.
But then we have filters on so we're not inundated with messages.
Figure that some folks get a hell of a lot of messages a day, and to answer them all would be a full time job, and seeing as we're all here for fun, it would be pretty dull spending ages answering every message with a "thanks but no thanks".
So no can't blame anyone for just deleting messages received.
It's also on the site FAQ that it is acceptable practice.
Just accept your deleted messages as a polite "no thanks" without the act of them actually saying it
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know it's been mentioned before and is a bug bear of a LOT of people on here. But why just delete a message without replying?!?!
It takes 10 seconds to write a quick - "thanks, but not for me" or even just a "no thanks" When I was on here as part of a couple we got inundated with messages daily. Yet we made a point of replying to every single one. Yeah sure if the guy got pushy and kept messaging he'd just get blocked, but we had the decency to tell them yes or no
Jeez peeps there's no reason the swinging lifestyle cant be friendly even if certain people do ruin it by being pushy or aggressive
Rant over "
When you receive a message from someone who clearly has not read your profile to determine your preferences, or obviously does not meet your preferences and is just trying it on, do you really feel that they are worth a moment of your time?
They weren't being polite or respectful. Why should I be? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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it happy's to me all the time so I just go with the flow now not send much out anymore |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes the reason for just deleting without responding is , the message was rude and intrusive . Don't expect a response it's not your right . If you get one happy days if not move on. !  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because that's 10 seconds more than I want to spend writing a message to someone I don't want to meet, and 10 seconds more of their time reading a message from someone who doesn't want to meet them.
Deleting is just more efficient for everyone. |
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"I know it's been mentioned before and is a bug bear of a LOT of people on here. But why just delete a message without replying?!?!
It takes 10 seconds to write a quick - "thanks, but not for me" or even just a "no thanks" When I was on here as part of a couple we got inundated with messages daily. Yet we made a point of replying to every single one. Yeah sure if the guy got pushy and kept messaging he'd just get blocked, but we had the decency to tell them yes or no
Jeez peeps there's no reason the swinging lifestyle cant be friendly even if certain people do ruin it by being pushy or aggressive
Rant over "
Have no problem with peeps deleting messages without reading it's no big thing but I am not a fan of the big headed "Just did another bulk delete" statuses.Those are the type of people who would walk out a door and meet themselves on the way back in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Did you reply no thanks to all the politicians putting leaflets through your door? |
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"Did you reply no thanks to all the politicians putting leaflets through your door?"
I did but that's because I got zero leaflets from politicians through my door |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know it's been mentioned before and is a bug bear of a LOT of people on here. But why just delete a message without replying?!?!
It takes 10 seconds to write a quick - "thanks, but not for me" or even just a "no thanks" When I was on here as part of a couple we got inundated with messages daily. Yet we made a point of replying to every single one. Yeah sure if the guy got pushy and kept messaging he'd just get blocked, but we had the decency to tell them yes or no
Jeez peeps there's no reason the swinging lifestyle cant be friendly even if certain people do ruin it by being pushy or aggressive
Rant over "
10 seconds to reply to yours OP. Do we then pay the same consideration to all who message? I have hundreds a day. I come on here for fun and banter. I didn't join fab to spend hours writing no thank you. I don't mean to sound harsh, but a no reply means not interested, based on the fab guidelines, it's not classed as rude |
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"I know it's been mentioned before and is a bug bear of a LOT of people on here. But why just delete a message without replying?!?!
It takes 10 seconds to write a quick - "thanks, but not for me" or even just a "no thanks" When I was on here as part of a couple we got inundated with messages daily. Yet we made a point of replying to every single one. Yeah sure if the guy got pushy and kept messaging he'd just get blocked, but we had the decency to tell them yes or no
Jeez peeps there's no reason the swinging lifestyle cant be friendly even if certain people do ruin it by being pushy or aggressive
Rant over
10 seconds to reply to yours OP. Do we then pay the same consideration to all who message? I have hundreds a day. I come on here for fun and banter. I didn't join fab to spend hours writing no thank you. I don't mean to sound harsh, but a no reply means not interested, based on the fab guidelines, it's not classed as rude "
CTRL & V it's all gravy |
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By *loppsyWoman
over a year ago
marlow |
"A polite no thanks can sometimes lead to another reply and before you know it you're having a conversation that you don't want.
Saying that I do try and respond to messages where possible unless they are rude. "
Exactly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If they aren't bright enough to read and understand that "Looking For- women" means I am not looking for tv, men and so on, then how would they ever understand a polite no thanks? |
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By *inzi LTV/TS
over a year ago
The Garden of Eden in Beautiful North Wales |
On a normal day (10 to 20 msg's) I'll replay a pleasant 'Thank you' to those that have bothered to msg me and usually add more to the text of those I maybe interested in. People that have obviously only looked at the pix and skipped the important bit just get ignored, if they pester then they get blocked too.
If I'm not attracted to you then there's no need for me to know how far your willy will go up my bum or down my throat... and I really don't need to know what your doing! So long as my (or anybody else's) pix tweak your button, my work is done and I'm happy for you/them. |
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On a normal day I get......0 messages, but when I do get one, the sun breaks through the clouds, birds sing once again, and I am truly blessed... X
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You´re absolutely right OP..........it has been mentioned before, |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
Welcome to the site OP.
(I assume this is your first day) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe fab should start a small fee for a private message ? Men and women ? |
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"If they aren't bright enough to read and understand that "Looking For- women" means I am not looking for tv, men and so on, then how would they ever understand a polite no thanks?"
you just assumed that every deleted message is from males which is plainly untrue most bulk deletes are done without even looking through the senders |
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Ooh I love a good debate!
Maybe I should get into the politics game |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ooh I love a good debate!
Maybe I should get into the politics game "
Watch out for those tape recorders though  |
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because I don't see why I should say no thanks to every message afterall the biggest % of people that message me haven't done my the curtesy of reading my profile first and therefore in the majority of cases they'd know their message would be pointless. They can't be arsed to read I can't be arsed to reply, fairs fair |
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"Ooh I love a good debate!
Maybe I should get into the politics game
Watch out for those tape recorders though "
Ah can't be a politician without a good old bit of controversy... As long as mine is a sex scandal I'll be happy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because this is meant to be fun, not an admin exercise. |
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"because I don't see why I should say no thanks to every message afterall the biggest % of people that message me haven't done my the curtesy of reading my profile first and therefore in the majority of cases they'd know their message would be pointless. They can't be arsed to read I can't be arsed to reply, fairs fair "
Well yeah that's a given. My point is if someone has spent time reading your profile, writing a message and ensured they have met every requirement (face pics etc) surely those people deserve a polite no thank you?
I agree with you about the others. Fuck em! (Not literally of course  ) It'a blokes like that who ruin it for us genuine guys |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
Because the messages don't need a response.
They're rude or merely making a comment that doesn't require a response |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think a lot blanket message too. Just hoping for a bite. You can see those types of messages. No personal stamp on it at all. So they have not really made an effort themselves anyway haha. I even once had one that called me the wrong username... Oops! |
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Cmon you two!! It's a given that those types of messages don't deserve a response
Dark Angel -someone really used the wrong username? That's just bad copy and pasting!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cmon you two!! It's a given that those types of messages don't deserve a response
Dark Angel -someone really used the wrong username? That's just bad copy and pasting!! "
But nor does a message from a guy I'm never going to meet, no matter how good his message. Perhaps just a block is better. |
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"because I don't see why I should say no thanks to every message afterall the biggest % of people that message me haven't done my the curtesy of reading my profile first and therefore in the majority of cases they'd know their message would be pointless. They can't be arsed to read I can't be arsed to reply, fairs fair
Well yeah that's a given. My point is if someone has spent time reading your profile, writing a message and ensured they have met every requirement (face pics etc) surely those people deserve a polite no thank you?
I agree with you about the others. Fuck em! (Not literally of course ) It'a blokes like that who ruin it for us genuine guys"
If they've read my profile and gone to effort I'll always reply even if I'm not interested as the guys that make an effort like that stand out a mile. I just can't be arsed with the other useless twats and that's the biggest majority of my inbox. Currently got 20 unread messages all from those type of twats |
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By *inzi LTV/TS
over a year ago
The Garden of Eden in Beautiful North Wales |
"Ooh I love a good debate!
Maybe I should get into the politics game "
I reckon you'd be in with a shout.... the opposition (worldwide) are in termoil! |
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"I think a lot blanket message too. Just hoping for a bite. You can see those types of messages. No personal stamp on it at all. So they have not really made an effort themselves anyway haha. I even once had one that called me the wrong username... Oops! "
I've had that too
Plus a lot that call me Emma. I'm guessing they've just mis read the mama part of my username, afterall for some it's hard to think straight when the bloods rushed elsewhere |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"because I don't see why I should say no thanks to every message afterall the biggest % of people that message me haven't done my the curtesy of reading my profile first and therefore in the majority of cases they'd know their message would be pointless. They can't be arsed to read I can't be arsed to reply, fairs fair
Well yeah that's a given. My point is if someone has spent time reading your profile, writing a message and ensured they have met every requirement (face pics etc) surely those people deserve a polite no thank you?
I agree with you about the others. Fuck em! (Not literally of course ) It'a blokes like that who ruin it for us genuine guys
If they've read my profile and gone to effort I'll always reply even if I'm not interested as the guys that make an effort like that stand out a mile. I just can't be arsed with the other useless twats and that's the biggest majority of my inbox. Currently got 20 unread messages all from those type of twats "
Twenty! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think yourself lucky you're being deleted. Some guys never even get read |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cmon you two!! It's a given that those types of messages don't deserve a response
Dark Angel -someone really used the wrong username? That's just bad copy and pasting!! "
Oh yes! It made me laugh though. Very lazy form! .
If I'm honest though, I don't open all my messages to read them. Though the sweet ones i have opened, I do reply to, and normally end up chatting to them. |
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"because I don't see why I should say no thanks to every message afterall the biggest % of people that message me haven't done my the curtesy of reading my profile first and therefore in the majority of cases they'd know their message would be pointless. They can't be arsed to read I can't be arsed to reply, fairs fair
Well yeah that's a given. My point is if someone has spent time reading your profile, writing a message and ensured they have met every requirement (face pics etc) surely those people deserve a polite no thank you?
I agree with you about the others. Fuck em! (Not literally of course ) It'a blokes like that who ruin it for us genuine guys
If they've read my profile and gone to effort I'll always reply even if I'm not interested as the guys that make an effort like that stand out a mile. I just can't be arsed with the other useless twats and that's the biggest majority of my inbox. Currently got 20 unread messages all from those type of twats
Twenty! "
Yep all 20 of them |
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By *atEvolutionCouple
over a year ago
atlantisEVOLUTION Swingers Club. Stoke |
Because 30/40 messages don't just take a second or two lol.
Cat X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think a lot blanket message too. Just hoping for a bite. You can see those types of messages. No personal stamp on it at all. So they have not really made an effort themselves anyway haha. I even once had one that called me the wrong username... Oops!
I've had that too
Plus a lot that call me Emma. I'm guessing they've just mis read the mama part of my username, afterall for some it's hard to think straight when the bloods rushed elsewhere "
Hahaha you are so right there! . The majority of the time I'm called Angle.... Reminds me of Hot Fuzz!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The site has a great feature where it warns you not to send another message if you've not received a reply. If the recipient responds with a 'no thanks' that feature is disabled. If you reply you can often look forward to receiving more messages months later when they've forgotten you said no. |
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I don't always answer messages as they can bypass my filters when I change them once I have replied. If Fab gave me the ability to reset my message filters I would be more likely to reply with a no thanks. But as it is I have to block them to keep them from mailing again. |
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"The site has a great feature where it warns you not to send another message if you've not received a reply. If the recipient responds with a 'no thanks' that feature is disabled. If you reply you can often look forward to receiving more messages months later when they've forgotten you said no."
this too
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Would prefer the recipient to delete unwanted messages instead of just leaving them open. Also, I think that a better use of the various filters could reduce the number of unwanted messages and save time and effort for everyone...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would prefer the recipient to delete unwanted messages instead of just leaving them open. Also, I think that a better use of the various filters could reduce the number of unwanted messages and save time and effort for everyone......"
My god, it's the bloody filters suggestion.
Even with very tight filters I had over 500 unread messages in one bloody evening because I'd posted a photograph. |
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"I think a lot blanket message too. Just hoping for a bite. You can see those types of messages. No personal stamp on it at all. So they have not really made an effort themselves anyway haha. I even once had one that called me the wrong username... Oops! "
Ah yes, the C&P without changing the name, one of my all time favourites |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The site has a great feature where it warns you not to send another message if you've not received a reply. If the recipient responds with a 'no thanks' that feature is disabled. If you reply you can often look forward to receiving more messages months later when they've forgotten you said no."
Very good point, well made |
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"Would prefer the recipient to delete unwanted messages instead of just leaving them open. Also, I think that a better use of the various filters could reduce the number of unwanted messages and save time and effort for everyone......
My god, it's the bloody filters suggestion.
Even with very tight filters I had over 500 unread messages in one bloody evening because I'd posted a photograph. "
Yea post a new pic or a meet and you get flooded regardless of filters |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ooh I love a good debate!
Maybe I should get into the politics game
Watch out for those tape recorders though
Ah can't be a politician without a good old bit of controversy... As long as mine is a sex scandal I'll be happy "
Lmao |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Deleted messages?
Man up princess!
You're welcome |
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"Would prefer the recipient to delete unwanted messages instead of just leaving them open. Also, I think that a better use of the various filters could reduce the number of unwanted messages and save time and effort for everyone......
My god, it's the bloody filters suggestion.
Even with very tight filters I had over 500 unread messages in one bloody evening because I'd posted a photograph. "
500 messages in one night? You sure
I'd check your filters if I was you as they don't sound pretty tight to me  |
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"Deleted messages?
Man up princess!
You're welcome "
Cheers babe |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would prefer the recipient to delete unwanted messages instead of just leaving them open. Also, I think that a better use of the various filters could reduce the number of unwanted messages and save time and effort for everyone......
My god, it's the bloody filters suggestion.
Even with very tight filters I had over 500 unread messages in one bloody evening because I'd posted a photograph.
500 messages in one night? You sure
I'd check your filters if I was you as they don't sound pretty tight to me "
Men or mm between 45 and 53. How fucking tight should they be? |
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"Would prefer the recipient to delete unwanted messages instead of just leaving them open. Also, I think that a better use of the various filters could reduce the number of unwanted messages and save time and effort for everyone......
My god, it's the bloody filters suggestion.
Even with very tight filters I had over 500 unread messages in one bloody evening because I'd posted a photograph.
500 messages in one night? You sure
I'd check your filters if I was you as they don't sound pretty tight to me "
I've managed 359 in a night with a meet advertised and that's with the majority of the filters set |
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"Would prefer the recipient to delete unwanted messages instead of just leaving them open. Also, I think that a better use of the various filters could reduce the number of unwanted messages and save time and effort for everyone......
My god, it's the bloody filters suggestion.
Even with very tight filters I had over 500 unread messages in one bloody evening because I'd posted a photograph.
500 messages in one night? You sure
I'd check your filters if I was you as they don't sound pretty tight to me
I've managed 359 in a night with a meet advertised and that's with the majority of the filters set "
You put the no single guy filter on and you'll take away 80% in a second |
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"Would prefer the recipient to delete unwanted messages instead of just leaving them open. Also, I think that a better use of the various filters could reduce the number of unwanted messages and save time and effort for everyone......
My god, it's the bloody filters suggestion.
Even with very tight filters I had over 500 unread messages in one bloody evening because I'd posted a photograph.
500 messages in one night? You sure
I'd check your filters if I was you as they don't sound pretty tight to me
I've managed 359 in a night with a meet advertised and that's with the majority of the filters set
You put the no single guy filter on and you'll take away 80% in a second "
Yea but when you want to meet singles guys and none of your regulars are free setting that filter when looking for a meet can be problematic, not that I mind proactively doing my own searching of course, majority of my meets are from doing just that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know it's been mentioned before and is a bug bear of a LOT of people on here. But why just delete a message without replying?!?!
It takes 10 seconds to write a quick - "thanks, but not for me" or even just a "no thanks" When I was on here as part of a couple we got inundated with messages daily. Yet we made a point of replying to every single one. Yeah sure if the guy got pushy and kept messaging he'd just get blocked, but we had the decency to tell them yes or no
Jeez peeps there's no reason the swinging lifestyle cant be friendly even if certain people do ruin it by being pushy or aggressive
Rant over "
10 seconds x 200 messages I'd delete too if I'm being honest. |
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"Would prefer the recipient to delete unwanted messages instead of just leaving them open. Also, I think that a better use of the various filters could reduce the number of unwanted messages and save time and effort for everyone......
My god, it's the bloody filters suggestion.
Even with very tight filters I had over 500 unread messages in one bloody evening because I'd posted a photograph.
500 messages in one night? You sure
I'd check your filters if I was you as they don't sound pretty tight to me
Men or mm between 45 and 53. How fucking tight should they be? "
Ooh don't have to get aggressive... just an observation deary. You're telling me that you got 500(!) messages just from blokes ages between 45 and 53?? |
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"Would prefer the recipient to delete unwanted messages instead of just leaving them open. Also, I think that a better use of the various filters could reduce the number of unwanted messages and save time and effort for everyone......
My god, it's the bloody filters suggestion.
Even with very tight filters I had over 500 unread messages in one bloody evening because I'd posted a photograph.
500 messages in one night? You sure
I'd check your filters if I was you as they don't sound pretty tight to me
I've managed 359 in a night with a meet advertised and that's with the majority of the filters set
You put the no single guy filter on and you'll take away 80% in a second
Yea but when you want to meet singles guys and none of your regulars are free setting that filter when looking for a meet can be problematic, not that I mind proactively doing my own searching of course, majority of my meets are from doing just that "
Yeah best way to do it. That's the way I'd go about it if I was a single fem |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would prefer the recipient to delete unwanted messages instead of just leaving them open. Also, I think that a better use of the various filters could reduce the number of unwanted messages and save time and effort for everyone......
My god, it's the bloody filters suggestion.
Even with very tight filters I had over 500 unread messages in one bloody evening because I'd posted a photograph.
500 messages in one night? You sure
I'd check your filters if I was you as they don't sound pretty tight to me
Men or mm between 45 and 53. How fucking tight should they be?
Ooh don't have to get aggressive... just an observation deary. You're telling me that you got 500(!) messages just from blokes ages between 45 and 53?? "
Don't have to get snide and patronising with me. The truth deary.
That's right. |
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By *woareoneCouple
over a year ago
plymouth/plympton |
"If they're getting so many messages those 10 seconds will turn in to hours eventually. I can see why people are offended but that's just the way it is, it would be a massive time waste for some. They don't owe anyone a reply "
Not if you cut and paste..lol |
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"Would prefer the recipient to delete unwanted messages instead of just leaving them open. Also, I think that a better use of the various filters could reduce the number of unwanted messages and save time and effort for everyone......
My god, it's the bloody filters suggestion.
Even with very tight filters I had over 500 unread messages in one bloody evening because I'd posted a photograph.
500 messages in one night? You sure
I'd check your filters if I was you as they don't sound pretty tight to me
Men or mm between 45 and 53. How fucking tight should they be?
Ooh don't have to get aggressive... just an observation deary. You're telling me that you got 500(!) messages just from blokes ages between 45 and 53??
Don't have to get snide and patronising with me. The truth deary.
That's right. "
I'm not snide and patronising. I'm the nicest guy in the world. I call everyone deary - it's my thing
And I guess we'll have to take your word for it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would prefer the recipient to delete unwanted messages instead of just leaving them open. Also, I think that a better use of the various filters could reduce the number of unwanted messages and save time and effort for everyone......
My god, it's the bloody filters suggestion.
Even with very tight filters I had over 500 unread messages in one bloody evening because I'd posted a photograph.
500 messages in one night? You sure
I'd check your filters if I was you as they don't sound pretty tight to me
Men or mm between 45 and 53. How fucking tight should they be?
Ooh don't have to get aggressive... just an observation deary. You're telling me that you got 500(!) messages just from blokes ages between 45 and 53??
Don't have to get snide and patronising with me. The truth deary.
That's right.
I'm not snide and patronising. I'm the nicest guy in the world. I call everyone deary - it's my thing
And I guess we'll have to take your word for it. "
I don't give a flying fuck if you believe me or not. Maybe you shouldn't judge others by your own standards. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would prefer the recipient to delete unwanted messages instead of just leaving them open. Also, I think that a better use of the various filters could reduce the number of unwanted messages and save time and effort for everyone......
My god, it's the bloody filters suggestion.
Even with very tight filters I had over 500 unread messages in one bloody evening because I'd posted a photograph.
500 messages in one night? You sure
I'd check your filters if I was you as they don't sound pretty tight to me
Men or mm between 45 and 53. How fucking tight should they be?
Ooh don't have to get aggressive... just an observation deary. You're telling me that you got 500(!) messages just from blokes ages between 45 and 53?? "
Judging on the amount of fabs she got for her most recent picture, I believe it! |
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By *woareoneCouple
over a year ago
plymouth/plympton |
"A polite no thanks can sometimes lead to another reply and before you know it you're having a conversation that you don't want.
Saying that I do try and respond to messages where possible unless they are rude. "
Not if you reply not for us and block message received then lol |
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[Removed by poster at 10/10/16 21:14:05] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get them deleting a message, it when they read them and don't delete them for a few weeks. It's like are you intrested or not lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know it's been mentioned before and is a bug bear of a LOT of people on here. But why just delete a message without replying?!?!
It takes 10 seconds to write a quick - "thanks, but not for me" or even just a "no thanks" When I was on here as part of a couple we got inundated with messages daily. Yet we made a point of replying to every single one. Yeah sure if the guy got pushy and kept messaging he'd just get blocked, but we had the decency to tell them yes or no
Jeez peeps there's no reason the swinging lifestyle cant be friendly even if certain people do ruin it by being pushy or aggressive
Rant over "
Because one message leads to another . Plus when we had photos up we had 100 plus messages a day , 97 percent of whom had obviously not read our profile as they were not what we were looking for . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Possibly because, "howz u"? Wouldn't deserve a response! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Would prefer the recipient to delete unwanted messages instead of just leaving them open. Also, I think that a better use of the various filters could reduce the number of unwanted messages and save time and effort for everyone......
My god, it's the bloody filters suggestion.
Even with very tight filters I had over 500 unread messages in one bloody evening because I'd posted a photograph.
500 messages in one night? You sure
I'd check your filters if I was you as they don't sound pretty tight to me
Men or mm between 45 and 53. How fucking tight should they be?
Ooh don't have to get aggressive... just an observation deary. You're telling me that you got 500(!) messages just from blokes ages between 45 and 53??
Don't have to get snide and patronising with me. The truth deary.
That's right.
I'm not snide and patronising. I'm the nicest guy in the world. I call everyone deary - it's my thing
And I guess we'll have to take your word for it.
I don't give a flying fuck if you believe me or not. Maybe you shouldn't judge others by your own standards. "
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We reply to most even if it's a polite no but if the messages are " fancy a fuck " etc .... then it's a delete from us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Look at a swingers chat for worst opening messages and you may have your answer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So.... In conclusion after reading through the responses and the approaches, men may I suggest that
1. Look to see how popular they are. High fab rated pics means miniscule chance of standing out amongst the hordes of messages....think carefully.
2. Read other posts relating to deleted messages and see who has too many messages to respond to and ask do I want a response or just a delete?
3. Be creative with the limited filters...Use message response as another filter system. If they do not respond after a day or two just block as there is clearly no interest but you've given them time to read and respond if they wish too. This prevents them appearing in any future searches so that neither persons time is wasted. You're more likely to get a message by removing those who won't out of the equation. Unless of course it's just perving you want to do...
When it starts to loose it's fun step back and look at it differently and make some changes.
Hope that helps. Happy fabbing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've now got to the point where I'll type up a message and then delete it myself before sending. Saves time you see |
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Haha probably just as effective! |
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"So.... In conclusion after reading through the responses and the approaches, men may I suggest that
1. Look to see how popular they are. High fab rated pics means miniscule chance of standing out amongst the hordes of messages....think carefully.
2. Read other posts relating to deleted messages and see who has too many messages to respond to and ask do I want a response or just a delete?
3. Be creative with the limited filters...Use message response as another filter system. If they do not respond after a day or two just block as there is clearly no interest but you've given them time to read and respond if they wish too. This prevents them appearing in any future searches so that neither persons time is wasted. You're more likely to get a message by removing those who won't out of the equation. Unless of course it's just perving you want to do...
When it starts to loose it's fun step back and look at it differently and make some changes.
Hope that helps. Happy fabbing. "
Hit the nail right on the head! Couldn't agree more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The last 3 messages we have received this morning all say hi. I can see that without opening them, they haven't read our profile or put effort in so why should I bother to reply?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm going to start sending messages in French or maybe Swahili. Fluent in neither but at least it might get a "what the fuck does that mean? " reply |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The last 3 messages we have received this morning all say hi. I can see that without opening them, they haven't read our profile or put effort in so why should I bother to reply??"
Your pics are fantastic Shel |
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"because I don't see why I should say no thanks to every message afterall the biggest % of people that message me haven't done my the curtesy of reading my profile first and therefore in the majority of cases they'd know their message would be pointless. They can't be arsed to read I can't be arsed to reply, fairs fair
Well yeah that's a given. My point is if someone has spent time reading your profile, writing a message and ensured they have met every requirement (face pics etc) surely those people deserve a polite no thank you?
I agree with you about the others. Fuck em! (Not literally of course ) It'a blokes like that who ruin it for us genuine guys"
Oh no. Not that tired old chestnut about all those nasty single guys ruining it for the genuine guys!...and it was going so well!
You also seem totally impervious to the detailed replies and arguments so far given as to why unsolicited and unwanted messages are not answered.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The last 3 messages we have received this morning all say hi. I can see that without opening them, they haven't read our profile or put effort in so why should I bother to reply??
Your pics are fantastic Shel "
Thank you xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont mind the delete even the read and delete im happy with you know where you stand you dont message them again simples....
Whats a little bit annoying but i can live with it is the read and no reply no delete messagea now how long do you wait for a reply????
Usually a week then i delete it the same as messages a week old that hasnt been looked at
Happy fabbing |
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"The last 3 messages we have received this morning all say hi. I can see that without opening them, they haven't read our profile or put effort in so why should I bother to reply??"
Don't - head straight for that delete button and maybe even the block button. If they're not interested in reading what you want, why would they be interested in satisfying your needs in a potential meet?
Some guys just aren't worth the time |
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More people would probably reply if the message system wasn't so frustrating.
We can get a hundred messages a day and miss messages from our friends and people we want to meet. We have to delete messages without replying so the reply we want to see doesn't vanish under the sea of hi's.
When the message system changes from being a single message system to a multiple messages from the same person on one line , I'm sure people will get more responses .
* that was hard to put into words |
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"If they aren't bright enough to read and understand that "Looking For- women" means I am not looking for tv, men and so on, then how would they ever understand a polite no thanks?
you just assumed that every deleted message is from males which is plainly untrue most bulk deletes are done without even looking through the senders"
I think the point being made in general terms and you can replace with any gender
It was about reading required /desired |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"More people would probably reply if the message system wasn't so frustrating.
We can get a hundred messages a day and miss messages from our friends and people we want to meet. We have to delete messages without replying so the reply we want to see doesn't vanish under the sea of hi's.
When the message system changes from being a single message system to a multiple messages from the same person on one line , I'm sure people will get more responses .
* that was hard to put into words "
This and you explained it well. |
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"More people would probably reply if the message system wasn't so frustrating.
We can get a hundred messages a day and miss messages from our friends and people we want to meet. We have to delete messages without replying so the reply we want to see doesn't vanish under the sea of hi's.
When the message system changes from being a single message system to a multiple messages from the same person on one line , I'm sure people will get more responses .
* that was hard to put into words
This and you explained it well."
I second that |
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I state in my profile, that if you read a message from me and straight delete, then I will block you and not get in touch again. I don't take it personally, and equally don't wish to see verifications from that person, after I have messaged them (it gets you wondering what is wrong with you, when they have met others instead). True, I am risking the possibility that the person I contacted have done a bulk delete to clear their inbox and start again, but life is short, and there are plenty of others out there.....
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I think that part of the problem with sites like fab are that a lot of people let the attention on a nsa site get to their heads,I don't think I am an oil painting or an Adonis in any way shape or form but some of the peeps on here think they are gods gift due to people messaging on a SEX site looking for nsa SEX whereas in real life on the street or in the pub a lot of peeps wouldn't get a second glance,however saying that there is no obligation to read/reply/not delete any message on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always reply. Even though the guys have not read the profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes agree people should reply its very rude not to Even if your inundated It comes across a little crass to just delete |
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By *albec26Man
over a year ago
Great Yarmouth |
i disagree we get tonnes of messages for which we try to reply to (hopefully some guys who have sent a message will confirm). Some then we continue to send more texts even you politely say no! Which we feel we don't need to respond to but then get nasty as we haven't replied. And there are others that are so derogatory in terms of their messages we do delete. Not saying you are OP sometimes the few ruin it for the genuine gents on here! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For the popular demographics on here the messages are constantly flooding in so replying to them all can be a "one steps forward, two steps back" scenario! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The guys who message us are complete strangers. They don't care about us, they wouldn't do anything for us. They are messaging because they are looking for sex. That's it. There is no loyalty or friendship at that first initial stage. It is no different from me getting a email from my favourite on-line clothing company trying to sell me something. I still like what they are selling but I don't want to buy anything so I don't reply. That's how it is with complete strangers - no requirement to reply. It's totally different with someone we've communicated with. At that point at relationship of sorts had developed, so at that point we do feel we owe that person a response if we feel it's not going to go anywhere. But not with a total stranger who doesn't give a toss about us. That being said we do reply to about half our messages, but we don't get as many as some profiles.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a message deleted yesterday without reply and I was subsequently blocked. The lady owes me no response or explanation.
It is safe to assume that:
*Her inbox is inundated with messages.
*She has had untold amounts of abuse in the past for not replying to messages.
*She feels that after deleting messages blokes will inevitably want to know why, and so message again. As such a delete and block go hand in hand.
It's sad that some peoples Fab experience goes that way. Women get hundreds of messages and it is what it is. They owe us nothing, not a reply, not an acknowledgment not an explanation...... Nothing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The messaging system on here is a bit wank, far too easy to get lost in the mass mailing when you're regularly messaging |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a message deleted yesterday without reply and I was subsequently blocked. The lady owes me no response or explanation.
It is safe to assume that:
*Her inbox is inundated with messages.
*She has had untold amounts of abuse in the past for not replying to messages.
*She feels that after deleting messages blokes will inevitably want to know why, and so message again. As such a delete and block go hand in hand.
It's sad that some peoples Fab experience goes that way. Women get hundreds of messages and it is what it is. They owe us nothing, not a reply, not an acknowledgment not an explanation...... Nothing "
Personally I think it's harsh to block when someone has done nothing wrong. But maybe my view would be different if we experienced abuse from men who messaged us, I guess we've been lucky.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I send well thought out emails to people, polite, well meaning and with good intentions, but you still get deleted and blocked for no reason - you just have to suck it up and put it down to the dickhead men on here who hassle people.
It's nothing personal, but it is annoying when you spend the time and energy sending a sensible email to someone.
To the OP - you gotta have thick skin. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I state in my profile, that if you read a message from me and straight delete, then I will block you and not get in touch again. I don't take it personally, and equally don't wish to see verifications from that person, after I have messaged them (it gets you wondering what is wrong with you, when they have met others instead). True, I am risking the possibility that the person I contacted have done a bulk delete to clear their inbox and start again, but life is short, and there are plenty of others out there.....
"
This. As I mentioned earlier I do the same and have done since I restarted. I found on previous profile very frustrated until I decided to do this.
It's actually a good working filtering system as the current ones seem a bit inadequate. As you say one does risk missing some possible meet....but there are thousands of others and we're mostly on here for a short time in our life for whatever reasons. I've had negative messages about it but then I've felt those who are unhappy and negative about the way I use it as a filter I probably wouldn't meet them anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We already work full time |
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Our profile is also our club profile so we get a mix of club questions and personal questions...roughly 200 -300 per day.
Unless it just says 'hi' I read every one as it could be a club question. They get deleted if the person hasn't read our profile and is just a chancer as I simply don't have the time. If the person hasn't read our profile and therefore hasn't respected what we've said on there, why should I give that person a response?
I have to be careful as my actions can reflect on the club but also my time is really precious, so if someone gets a delete, it's because they deserve it.
If you're messaging single females then they can get literally hundreds of messages a day. Make your opening line catchy and read their profile, otherwise, don't moan when you get a delete.
Xxx |
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I always say no, sorry but hubs just deletes |
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By *rimo4uMan
over a year ago
north kensington w10 |
"If they're getting so many messages those 10 seconds will turn in to hours eventually. I can see why people are offended but that's just the way it is, it would be a massive time waste for some. They don't owe anyone a reply "
but you have a profile because you want poeple to message you your also asking them to message you,i think you kinda do owe them at least a reply . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they're getting so many messages those 10 seconds will turn in to hours eventually. I can see why people are offended but that's just the way it is, it would be a massive time waste for some. They don't owe anyone a reply
but you have a profile because you want poeple to message you your also asking them to message you,i think you kinda do owe them at least a reply . "
Sorry, but you're way off.
To suggest we owe someone a reply just because they've messaged is just nonsense. So we owe a reply to the bloke that took no notice of the warning not to message us because we're not looking for guys. Or do we owe a reply to the woman that messaged us from outside of our age requirements? The messaging system tries to help them out and they still ignore it, we owe a reply?
Multiply that by 20 or 30 per day........think we'll stick to deleting without reply thanks.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they're getting so many messages those 10 seconds will turn in to hours eventually. I can see why people are offended but that's just the way it is, it would be a massive time waste for some. They don't owe anyone a reply
but you have a profile because you want poeple to message you your also asking them to message you,i think you kinda do owe them at least a reply . "
actually, we don't. we have a profile so that those we're messaging can see who we are and whether they might consider meeting us... |
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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago
West Wales and Cardiff |
OP - my (F) friend gets on average 30 a day.
There's probably about 3 she wants to investigate further (friends or interesting new people). That takes time.
Imagine her, would you then spend time deciding which of the remaining 27 are worthy of a message. Say it's 15 - I think most people wouldn't have time or bother to copy and paste "no thanks" that many times or more. Every day.
Seriously - find a Fab female friend and manage her inbox for the day. It's madness. Frankly, I'm amazed that every women on here doesn't go running for hills and become a nun or a lesbian. Or a lesbian nun.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they're getting so many messages those 10 seconds will turn in to hours eventually. I can see why people are offended but that's just the way it is, it would be a massive time waste for some. They don't owe anyone a reply
but you have a profile because you want poeple to message you your also asking them to message you,i think you kinda do owe them at least a reply . "
We clearly state on our profile, that we are looking for fully bisexual men , aged 38 to 53 who can accommodate and don't smoke
So when we get 60 messages a day from straight, 25 year olds, who smoke and live with their mother saying : hi Wud love to fuk u
Do you really think we owe them a : no thank you
Which leads to a : why |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
but you have a profile because you want poeple to message you your also asking them to message you,i think you kinda do owe them at least a reply . "
Well actually not everybody has a profile because they want people to message, and this should not be assumed. Plenty of profiles are actually not asking for messages. For example we are not asking for messages nor are we particularly wanting them. Our profile states that we rarely meet privately and prefer parties and clubs. So we use our profile more for networking. But it is sometimes assumed that an active profile means one is actively looking to meet.
At the end of the day, whatever anybody thinks the etiquette should be, Fab has decided that no reply is not rude and means not interested. So those that have joined Fab and object to the websites guidelines, this is something they take up with the website
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP - my (F) friend gets on average 30 a day.
There's probably about 3 she wants to investigate further (friends or interesting new people). That takes time.
Imagine her, would you then spend time deciding which of the remaining 27 are worthy of a message. Say it's 15 - I think most people wouldn't have time or bother to copy and paste "no thanks" that many times or more. Every day.
Seriously - find a Fab female friend and manage her inbox for the day. It's madness. Frankly, I'm amazed that every women on here doesn't go running for hills and become a nun or a lesbian. Or a lesbian nun.
"
I'm going to look for a habit on line in a bit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 12/10/16 13:10:30] |
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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago
West Wales and Cardiff |
"OP - my (F) friend gets on average 30 a day.
There's probably about 3 she wants to investigate further (friends or interesting new people). That takes time.
Imagine her, would you then spend time deciding which of the remaining 27 are worthy of a message. Say it's 15 - I think most people wouldn't have time or bother to copy and paste "no thanks" that many times or more. Every day.
Seriously - find a Fab female friend and manage her inbox for the day. It's madness. Frankly, I'm amazed that every women on here doesn't go running for hills and become a nun or a lesbian. Or a lesbian nun.
I'm going to look for a habit on line in a bit."
Is it wrong/sacrilegious to admit that this turns me on. Massively |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to reply to every message and sometimes got abuse so now if I'm not interested I do just delete. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don't mind having the message deleted, it lets us know it wasn't interesting. What annoys more are the messages that are left unread even though we understand why |
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"We don't mind having the message deleted, it lets us know it wasn't interesting. What annoys more are the messages that are left unread even though we understand why"
Could have been read then reset to unread. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If they blatantly don't read profile, why bother reading their message? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know it's been mentioned before and is a bug bear of a LOT of people on here. But why just delete a message without replying?!?!
It takes 10 seconds to write a quick - "thanks, but not for me" or even just a "no thanks" When I was on here as part of a couple we got inundated with messages daily. Yet we made a point of replying to every single one. Yeah sure if the guy got pushy and kept messaging he'd just get blocked, but we had the decency to tell them yes or no
Jeez peeps there's no reason the swinging lifestyle cant be friendly even if certain people do ruin it by being pushy or aggressive
Rant over
If people message us clearly outside of what we are looking for why should we feel obliged to respond?
Or in another way, I have caller ID on my phone and I ignore those unsolicited calls, shouldn't I?
I don't open junk mail let alone write back to them saying no thanks, should I? "
This! |
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If I receive a message by someone that's clearly read my profile I always reply with a thanks for your message but you're not what I'm looking for on here.
If I receive a fancy my heavy load/free tonight/you want to suck/ride this (normally with an attached cock pic) then yes I do just delete. If I reply to these messages I normally just get abuse back anyway. |
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I only reply to messages woth replying to what's the point of replying to "do you wanna a cum" waste of time and energy.....DELETE....... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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they do not even look at mail or the person profile only dele their mail is fact  |
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They could reply no thanks and it means no thanks.
The could delete and it means no thanks.
By next week what does it matter to you and your life which one it was? The answer was still no thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"because I don't see why I should say no thanks to every message afterall the biggest % of people that message me haven't done my the curtesy of reading my profile first and therefore in the majority of cases they'd know their message would be pointless. They can't be arsed to read I can't be arsed to reply, fairs fair
Well yeah that's a given. My point is if someone has spent time reading your profile, writing a message and ensured they have met every requirement (face pics etc) surely those people deserve a polite no thank you?
I agree with you about the others. Fuck em! (Not literally of course ) It'a blokes like that who ruin it for us genuine guys"
We never delete someone who has clearly made the effort to read our profile, but when we get messages that are clearly meant for me, it's disrespectful to G & it's rude. If they haven't bothered to read our profile or can't have the decency to address us both, then we won't bother replying. If it's a nice, interesting or fun message then they will always get a 'thanks' at the very least
M x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know it's been mentioned before and is a bug bear of a LOT of people on here. But why just delete a message without replying?!?!
It takes 10 seconds to write a quick - "thanks, but not for me" or even just a "no thanks" When I was on here as part of a couple we got inundated with messages daily. Yet we made a point of replying to every single one. Yeah sure if the guy got pushy and kept messaging he'd just get blocked, but we had the decency to tell them yes or no
Jeez peeps there's no reason the swinging lifestyle cant be friendly even if certain people do ruin it by being pushy or aggressive
Rant over
If people message us clearly outside of what we are looking for why should we feel obliged to respond?
Or in another way, I have caller ID on my phone and I ignore those unsolicited calls, shouldn't I?
I don't open junk mail let alone write back to them saying no thanks, should I? "
This
I get loads of messages that are so what not what I'm looking for, and it's clear the person hasn't looked at my profile and assumed because I'm on here I want a fist shoved up my ass, to pee on them, and to let them whip me til I bleed |
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"I get so may I delete them without reading too "
That's just mean..
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We mainly delete if the person writing hasn't bothered to read our profile . Why should we bother to read their message when they can't be bothered to read ours simples |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know it's been mentioned before and is a bug bear of a LOT of people on here. But why just delete a message without replying?!?!
It takes 10 seconds to write a quick - "thanks, but not for me" or even just a "no thanks" When I was on here as part of a couple we got inundated with messages daily. Yet we made a point of replying to every single one. Yeah sure if the guy got pushy and kept messaging he'd just get blocked, but we had the decency to tell them yes or no
Jeez peeps there's no reason the swinging lifestyle cant be friendly even if certain people do ruin it by being pushy or aggressive
Rant over
If people message us clearly outside of what we are looking for why should we feel obliged to respond?
Or in another way, I have caller ID on my phone and I ignore those unsolicited calls, shouldn't I?
I don't open junk mail let alone write back to them saying no thanks, should I? "
Excellent point and as the majority don't read profiles why should we go to the effort to reply plus most no thanks appear to be the green light to want to continue the conversation |
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you mite find it rude not to get a response from strangers but they may olso find it rude that u haven't read the FAQ which states a no reply is a no thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I sent a get well and good luck message to a member out of kindness.
Deleted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I sent a get well and good luck message to a member out of kindness.
Deleted "
Are you a stranger to them? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most don't read the profiles thoroughly or, are unbelievable with their message content so no point in replying.
Those who have and were polite receive a polite response job done'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I sent a get well and good luck message to a member out of kindness.
Deleted
Are you a stranger to them?"
Yes, but i will always be a stranger to everyone untill someone says hello back. Me and im sure most guys are looking for friends to, not just sex. No judgement of course just sharing an experience i had. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I sent a get well and good luck message to a member out of kindness.
Deleted
Are you a stranger to them?
Yes, but i will always be a stranger to everyone untill someone says hello back. Me and im sure most guys are looking for friends to, not just sex. No judgement of course just sharing an experience i had. "
True. At the same time, I am not sure why you seem to think that a message expressing your sympathy deserved a response. |
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This site is horrible for most single men tbh- just the way it is imo.
If its deleted move on, I can see how it must be very frustrating though I always give a reply even ifs its very short as i'm polite. |
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I delete them without reading them. Why should I? They are mostly so poorly written they are not worth my time and can be read without opening them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I sent a get well and good luck message to a member out of kindness.
Deleted
Are you a stranger to them?
Yes, but i will always be a stranger to everyone untill someone says hello back. Me and im sure most guys are looking for friends to, not just sex. No judgement of course just sharing an experience i had.
True. At the same time, I am not sure why you seem to think that a message expressing your sympathy deserved a response."
Seemed a nicer way to break the ice for conversation rather than just saying fat penguin. I reckon she would of took it the wrong way. Although unphased im suprised at how closed off women seem to be on this site. Fair play to em, they have pandoras box we want to get in a harmless nice gesture was deletee before even seen it might of lifted her mood that day and made her smile, im not bothered just seems strange to me probably because im new to this blunt swinging thing lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I sent a get well and good luck message to a member out of kindness.
Deleted
Are you a stranger to them?
Yes, but i will always be a stranger to everyone untill someone says hello back. Me and im sure most guys are looking for friends to, not just sex. No judgement of course just sharing an experience i had.
True. At the same time, I am not sure why you seem to think that a message expressing your sympathy deserved a response.
Seemed a nicer way to break the ice for conversation rather than just saying fat penguin. I reckon she would of took it the wrong way. Although unphased im suprised at how closed off women seem to be on this site. Fair play to em, they have pandoras box we want to get in a harmless nice gesture was deletee before even seen it might of lifted her mood that day and made her smile, im not bothered just seems strange to me probably because im new to this blunt swinging thing lol "
Translation: A good way of getting into her knickers?
No judgement. This is the point of the site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No not at all, the girl wasent my type we have nothing in comon lol genuinely was going to hospital and wanted to wish her well.
Chivalry is dead i suppose haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No not at all, the girl wasent my type we have nothing in comon lol genuinely was going to hospital and wanted to wish her well.
Chivalry is dead i suppose haha "
Then, next time, message someone with the intention of getting into their knickers? That is why people are here.
They are not here to talk about the weather. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No not at all, the girl wasent my type we have nothing in comon lol genuinely was going to hospital and wanted to wish her well.
Chivalry is dead i suppose haha
Then, next time, message someone with the intention of getting into their knickers? That is why people are here.
They are not here to talk about the weather."
That might be the way, but im forever reading status updates that say.. talk, message get to know me first before you say you want sex. Hows a man supposed to deal with that no win situation if he cant get as much as a hello reply. Speaking on behalf of men everywhere haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No not at all, the girl wasent my type we have nothing in comon lol genuinely was going to hospital and wanted to wish her well.
Chivalry is dead i suppose haha
Then, next time, message someone with the intention of getting into their knickers? That is why people are here.
They are not here to talk about the weather.
That might be the way, but im forever reading status updates that say.. talk, message get to know me first before you say you want sex. Hows a man supposed to deal with that no win situation if he cant get as much as a hello reply. Speaking on behalf of men everywhere haha "
You are speaking on behalf of yourself.
You were disappointed because someone going through a difficult situation chose to delete your "nice" message.
You did not know them and had no connection with them. This site operates very similarly to real life. |
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By *issLissCouple
over a year ago
south east |
My profile clearly states what i want and so if someone can't be bothered to read my profile why should I be bothered to reply? I reply to the ones who fit to my criteria.
Also at the peak I can get 100 mails an hour. Physically not possible to reply.
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"I know it's been mentioned before and is a bug bear of a LOT of people on here. But why just delete a message without replying?!?!
It takes 10 seconds to write a quick - "thanks, but not for me" or even just a "no thanks" When I was on here as part of a couple we got inundated with messages daily. Yet we made a point of replying to every single one. Yeah sure if the guy got pushy and kept messaging he'd just get blocked, but we had the decency to tell them yes or no
Jeez peeps there's no reason the swinging lifestyle cant be friendly even if certain people do ruin it by being pushy or aggressive
Rant over "
Reply to some people and they see it as a green light to pester so the best option is to delete without after all nobody replies to every piece of junk email so there is no reason to do so on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My profile clearly states what i want and so if someone can't be bothered to read my profile why should I be bothered to reply? I reply to the ones who fit to my criteria.
"
Exactly this!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I've made an effort with my message, tried to engage the person after reading what they are looking for and they still delete without reply, I just block them. Saves any further wasting of time. |
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I had 2000 unread messages in about 10 days. I read a lot leaving that many . Annoys me when people say it's only 10 seconds. 10 secs to each one of them is a long time. As much as I love this site I do have a life off of it. |
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"My profile clearly states what i want and so if someone can't be bothered to read my profile why should I be bothered to reply? I reply to the ones who fit to my criteria.
Exactly this!!!!"
But a lot of deleted messages are from people who do indeed read the profile and fit the criteria yet still get deleted,like I previously said you are entitled to delete without reading but lets not pretend that it is all about not reading or not fitting criteria. |
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
"I know it's been mentioned before and is a bug bear of a LOT of people on here. But why just delete a message without replying?!?!
It takes 10 seconds to write a quick - "thanks, but not for me" or even just a "no thanks" When I was on here as part of a couple we got inundated with messages daily. Yet we made a point of replying to every single one. Yeah sure if the guy got pushy and kept messaging he'd just get blocked, but we had the decency to tell them yes or no
Jeez peeps there's no reason the swinging lifestyle cant be friendly even if certain people do ruin it by being pushy or aggressive
Rant over "
Completely agree. It's just polite. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A polite no thanks can sometimes lead to another reply and before you know it you're having a conversation that you don't want.
Saying that I do try and respond to messages where possible unless they are rude. "
My thoughts exactly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My profile clearly states what i want and so if someone can't be bothered to read my profile why should I be bothered to reply? I reply to the ones who fit to my criteria.
Exactly this!!!!"
Exactly this also. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know it's been mentioned before and is a bug bear of a LOT of people on here. But why just delete a message without replying?!?!
It takes 10 seconds to write a quick - "thanks, but not for me" or even just a "no thanks" When I was on here as part of a couple we got inundated with messages daily. Yet we made a point of replying to every single one. Yeah sure if the guy got pushy and kept messaging he'd just get blocked, but we had the decency to tell them yes or no
Jeez peeps there's no reason the swinging lifestyle cant be friendly even if certain people do ruin it by being pushy or aggressive
Rant over
Completely agree. It's just polite."
Yes ? When we had photos up we had 250 messages a day , only 2 percent of which appeared to have read our profile ? Do you really expect people to write : No thanks 1700 ish times per week !!! |
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You can guarantee the times we do reply with a ....thanks for the message but sorry you're not what we're looking for...
You get either an abusive message back or they ask why not!? Very very rarely we'll get a ... thank you for your reply'
As has been said before if they haven't read the profile and it's blatantly obvious ... as in we ask for face pics in message.... they will not get a response!
Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No not at all, the girl wasent my type we have nothing in comon lol genuinely was going to hospital and wanted to wish her well.
Chivalry is dead i suppose haha
Then, next time, message someone with the intention of getting into their knickers? That is why people are here.
They are not here to talk about the weather."
Actually my experience is that most women on here want to talk about everyday stuff first...its only natural to most of them. Very few are as blunt as you are implying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've mentioned this in a forum before but how about some options,
A reply button that opens a text box so you can write a reply,
A reply button which prefills "No thank you", and sends it.
A reply button which prefills "No thank you" and applies a block and sends it.
The second and third would only take as long for the site member to use as the current deleted with no reply
Just a thought |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know it's been mentioned before and is a bug bear of a LOT of people on here. But why just delete a message without replying?!?!
It takes 10 seconds to write a quick - "thanks, but not for me" or even just a "no thanks" When I was on here as part of a couple we got inundated with messages daily. Yet we made a point of replying to every single one. Yeah sure if the guy got pushy and kept messaging he'd just get blocked, but we had the decency to tell them yes or no
Jeez peeps there's no reason the swinging lifestyle cant be friendly even if certain people do ruin it by being pushy or aggressive
Rant over
When you receive a message from someone who clearly has not read your profile to determine your preferences, or obviously does not meet your preferences and is just trying it on, do you really feel that they are worth a moment of your time?
They weren't being polite or respectful. Why should I be?"
This is our big bugbear. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No not at all, the girl wasent my type we have nothing in comon lol genuinely was going to hospital and wanted to wish her well.
Chivalry is dead i suppose haha
Then, next time, message someone with the intention of getting into their knickers? That is why people are here.
They are not here to talk about the weather.
Actually my experience is that most women on here want to talk about everyday stuff first...its only natural to most of them. Very few are as blunt as you are implying. "
You are right but most men just dont get how to talk to a woman! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's simple.
Send your message.
Delete your sent mail.
Get on with life and if you get a reply do a little boogie!
It's what I do when I'm sending mail. I don't know if they read it, deleted it, whatever! They owe me nothing!
Take responsibility for your own actions and feelings. |
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"It's simple.
Send your message.
Delete your sent mail.
Get on with life and if you get a reply do a little boogie!
It's what I do when I'm sending mail. I don't know if they read it, deleted it, whatever! They owe me nothing!
Take responsibility for your own actions and feelings."
You know what, best response ever, saves looking and wondering |
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When a guy messages all about what he wants or needs, or guys too young message me. I delete, I do so because once you email back you get a load of questions about why you won't play. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know it's been mentioned before and is a bug bear of a LOT of people on here. But why just delete a message without replying?!?!
It takes 10 seconds to write a quick - "thanks, but not for me" or even just a "no thanks" When I was on here as part of a couple we got inundated with messages daily. Yet we made a point of replying to every single one. Yeah sure if the guy got pushy and kept messaging he'd just get blocked, but we had the decency to tell them yes or no
Jeez peeps there's no reason the swinging lifestyle cant be friendly even if certain people do ruin it by being pushy or aggressive
Rant over
10 seconds to reply to yours OP. Do we then pay the same consideration to all who message? I have hundreds a day. I come on here for fun and banter. I didn't join fab to spend hours writing no thank you. I don't mean to sound harsh, but a no reply means not interested, based on the fab guidelines, it's not classed as rude "
Word! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they're getting so many messages those 10 seconds will turn in to hours eventually. I can see why people are offended but that's just the way it is, it would be a massive time waste for some. They don't owe anyone a reply "
No they don't. ..no one owes anyone anything on here...However respect curtsey and friendliness goes along way on here...and it always comes round back.
My answer is tighten your filters if you're getting messages from those you don't want. Others manage to do it and respond well with simple no thanks. Rudeness is unfortunately just accepted on here and endorsedby fab 'rules' too. It ddoesn't mean one has to be rude...but I see it as a reflection of the individual as do many others. If someone was to say hi to you, open the door, or offer you their seat I'm sure most on here would acknowledge it without thinking. Maybe people act differently on here than they would in real life.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Putting it quite simply - we can't be arsed to reply to messages that we're not interested in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Guys should take a few minutes to read my profile and it will tell them that I delete hi, hey how are you messages and for them to attach face pics, I don't feel bad then for deleting their message if they haven't read my profile. Those who have read will get a reply even if it's a no thanks x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys should take a few minutes to read my profile and it will tell them that I delete hi, hey how are you messages and for them to attach face pics, I don't feel bad then for deleting their message if they haven't read my profile. Those who have read will get a reply even if it's a no thanks x"
I think the OP and others on here do read the profile and message or don't message accordingly. I've messaged appropriately to appropriate women and often just had message deleted. Statuses that say...ooops sorry just deleted all my messages automatically get assigned to my growing block list. It's not what what I want to hear or whom I'd then want to message to. There are many more to prose on fab. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys should take a few minutes to read my profile and it will tell them that I delete hi, hey how are you messages and for them to attach face pics, I don't feel bad then for deleting their message if they haven't read my profile. Those who have read will get a reply even if it's a no thanks x"
I think the OP and others on here do read the profile and message or don't message accordingly. I've messaged appropriately to appropriate women and often just had message deleted. Statuses that say...ooops sorry just deleted all my messages automatically get assigned to my growing block list. It's not what what I want to hear or whom I'd then want to message to. There are many more to view on fab. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if you have that much time on your hands do it - delete here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I say 'No thanks x' and it goes one of three ways:
1. 'No problem, thanks for replying!' - the nice one
2. 'Why not?' - ongoing messages from people who can't take no for an answer.
3. 'You fucking ugly bitch slut cunt, you're fat anyway and nobody would fuck you!' - lol, aaaand block.
I simply don't have time or patience for it unless someone has clearly put time into crafting a message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always reply to mine but then I'm lucky if I get one every 2 months but unfortunately my reply is sorry mate but I'm looking for ladies I'm straight |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 28/10/16 19:00:08] |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
