FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Girlfriend scared to try mfm
Girlfriend scared to try mfm
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Tried my best over the years to try convince her to have a threesome but still asnt she mentions it sometimes and says she'd like to try it but I think she's scared, what do you's think the best thing to do is?  |
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"Tried my best over the years to try convince her to have a threesome but still asnt she mentions it sometimes and says she'd like to try it but I think she's scared, what do you's think the best thing to do is? "
Accept that its not for her and concentrate on enjoying the things you both get pleasure from is what I think |
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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago
Dorset |
Give her a night out at a club with a promise that she can just watch others and see the fun they have, with no pressure to play, then give her a free pass to try anything she would like without conditions of anything in return... Its about what she is comfortable with, not about what you want, relax and let her enjoy, the rewards could be amazing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Give her a night out at a club with a promise that she can just watch others and see the fun they have, with no pressure to play, then give her a free pass to try anything she would like without conditions of anything in return... Its about what she is comfortable with, not about what you want, relax and let her enjoy, the rewards could be amazing. "
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"Give her a night out at a club with a promise that she can just watch others and see the fun they have, with no pressure to play, then give her a free pass to try anything she would like without conditions of anything in return... Its about what she is comfortable with, not about what you want, relax and let her enjoy, the rewards could be amazing. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Consider starting a couple's account and consider a club as others have said.
Has she said what concerns/scares her?
Ultimately....respect her feelings."
I don't think she'd be to keen on a club she's shy and I think mainly she's just scared to try it with anyone else as she asnt been with anyone else before and of course I'm in no rush and respect her feelings just wondering what I could do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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First off get the book Sex at Dawn by Christopher Ryan, also The Ethical Slut is another good read.
Sit down in the lounge and ask her straight is she seriously interested or not. If she's not interested don't push it on her. At least read the book.
If she is interested then ask her what her fears and expectations are and address them as best as you can. You should also analyse what your wants, motivation and expectations are.
Most women in my limited experience do like to be the slut in the bedroom but do need and expect respect in public. There is also the question of confidence in one's own body, whether you are pushing this so as to meet other women or is it a genuine desire to see her penetrated and enjoying in full another men with her. What will you think of her afterwards, will you still love her? Will you still have respect for her? How strong is your relationship? To take on an open relationship one needs understanding and trust in each other.
Think back to when you were courting. How long was it before you got her to have sex with you and under what circumstances did she have that confidence to make out with you.
All my life I have been open with the first girlfriend I lived with my first wife and my current wife, with all of them on the first date told them I was bi and enjoyed group sex, needless to say there were many ladies in my younger days who took exception to this and I never got to the 2nd date, but many were intrigued.
Just be totally honest with your lady and good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"First off get the book Sex at Dawn by Christopher Ryan, also The Ethical Slut is another good read.
Sit down in the lounge and ask her straight is she seriously interested or not. If she's not interested don't push it on her. At least read the book.
If she is interested then ask her what her fears and expectations are and address them as best as you can. You should also analyse what your wants, motivation and expectations are.
Most women in my limited experience do like to be the slut in the bedroom but do need and expect respect in public. There is also the question of confidence in one's own body, whether you are pushing this so as to meet other women or is it a genuine desire to see her penetrated and enjoying in full another men with her. What will you think of her afterwards, will you still love her? Will you still have respect for her? How strong is your relationship? To take on an open relationship one needs understanding and trust in each other.
Think back to when you were courting. How long was it before you got her to have sex with you and under what circumstances did she have that confidence to make out with you.
All my life I have been open with the first girlfriend I lived with my first wife and my current wife, with all of them on the first date told them I was bi and enjoyed group sex, needless to say there were many ladies in my younger days who took exception to this and I never got to the 2nd date, but many were intrigued.
Just be totally honest with your lady and good luck."
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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago
Dorset |
Get her talking during foreplay about what her fantasies are, then use them to excite her, her responses will guide you to which one is her favourite, when you think she's ready, offer it to her for real...But take it slow. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Get her talking during foreplay about what her fantasies are, then use them to excite her, her responses will guide you to which one is her favourite, when you think she's ready, offer it to her for real...But take it slow."
Sounds a good idea I'll try that tonight  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tried my best over the years to try convince her to have a threesome but still asnt she mentions it sometimes and says she'd like to try it but I think she's scared, what do you's think the best thing to do is? "
Wow. So you have had the same experience from your current girlfriend and your ex-girlfriend?
That is a terrible coincidence. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The key here is you "think" she's scared... I would say you need to know for sure rather than assume.
It's quite possible she simply doesn't want to play that way.
If it turns out she does want to give things a whirl, then focus and respect the apprehension. The point here is to know...rather than think |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tried my best over the years to try convince her to have a threesome but still asnt she mentions it sometimes and says she'd like to try it but I think she's scared, what do you's think the best thing to do is? "
Why are you trying to convince her to do anything? Maybe respect her wishes that she doesn't want to. Sounds like it's just you who wants a mfm. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tried my best over the years to try convince her to have a threesome but still asnt she mentions it sometimes and says she'd like to try it but I think she's scared, what do you's think the best thing to do is? "
does she know you are on here? maybe you should show her your profile and that will convince her that she really doesn't need to have one  |
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To be honest i was the same....i liked the idea but saw it as cheating...dax pointed out a few things and had my first and now love it
Talk to her, get her to tell you her thoughts and feelings on it.
Dax's response to my concern was "is it cheating if we are both there, both consenting and both enjoying it?"
Talk, talk and talk it through....get her talking to you about things she wants to try and work through them together
Boo x |
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By *inzi LTV/TS
over a year ago
The Garden of Eden in Beautiful North Wales |
"Tried my best over the years to try convince her to have a threesome but still asnt she mentions it sometimes and says she'd like to try it but I think she's scared, what do you's think the best thing to do is? "
Well, You've gotta bit of a choice...
You can either tie her to the kitchen table and say your having it or...
Respect her wishes. Some fantasies are best left as fantasies. |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"Give her a night out at a club with a promise that she can just watch others and see the fun they have, with no pressure to play, then give her a free pass to try anything she would like without conditions of anything in return... Its about what she is comfortable with, not about what you want, relax and let her enjoy, the rewards could be amazing. "
Absolutely
I would add that promise to her that you will not go off with anyone else or cajole her into allowing you to go off with anyone else that evening |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I introduced my wife to swinging at a club first venue she was very nervous and nothing happened. Was a few years before we visited a club again....but hey that's now history... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I teased my wife about a 3 some for 15 years but good humoured and tongue in cheek mostly. This March she organised a trip to Eureka's and Kestrels just after our anniversary.
Patience is a virtue after all! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Where the feck has he gone loll "
4hrs ago? What's the record fog jumping ship, UNLOS after starting a thread?
*I only just found out what unlos meant. I just used it, I could crush a grape! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I refused at first. Thought it wouldbe really weird. So the agreement was that he was only allowed to watch me with another man. But the first man we played was too much of a gentleman to let him sit and watch and invited him to join in. I've never looked back. So you could try getting her used to being with another man whilst you watch. That maybe a compromise. Then just build up from there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've done it once with my ex. Would do it again but with the other guy being bi as I would love to see my partner being sucked by a guy and to share it with him
Kinky  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Consider starting a couple's account and consider a club as others have said.
Has she said what concerns/scares her?
Ultimately....respect her feelings.
I don't think she'd be to keen on a club she's shy and I think mainly she's just scared to try it with anyone else as she asnt been with anyone else before and of course I'm in no rush and respect her feelings just wondering what I could do "
Was in the same situation many years ago wife had never been with another guy decided to give it a go she was actually shaking but loved it never looked back. Been great for our relationship and met some great people many who have become best friends.
Show her this thread and if she has any questions feel free to ask. |
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