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Bi guy receiving anal , where's the pleasure HELP
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Hey all
I'm in need of some advice regarding anal receiving it , basically I've had 2 experiences once a few years back with an older guy he was average size after about ten minutes I had to plead with the guy to stop as it was hurting , he did say after for a newbie I took it perfect but he left disappointed and I felt like I let him down
And the. Tonite I met 2 guys both older again one average other larger so average guy had me first being sensible but he orgasmed quickly so was the next guys turn but again after about 5 minutes I had to ask him to stop he wasn't happy at all and called me a time waster which I am not , I dressed for them as they asked me to , so know I'm sat here basque thrown in corner looking like a panda wondering where the hell is the pleasure in anal ? Is there any ? I've given it before and hard and deep and people have loved it so what's the secret ??
Or if there's an older guy up for giving me another go I'm staying in Sheffield in a hotel drop me a line if you can show me how it's done ha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be fair any decent top would work u up properly first. Lots of rimming and fingering. Getting you relaxed. U should always take it either sitting on it where ur in cintrol or face down arse up. Plus poppers help relax a bit.
Bad tops |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To many people either put pressure on themselves or on others. Sex is a mutual thing. Its just as hirny getting someone else off as much as yourself. Would be a disaster if everyone was all stressed out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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O.K - I've recived anal sex from another guy before, and found it O.K, and something I might return to , but not just at the moment.
OP - Anal sex might not be for you. The amount of men (and women) who don't find pleasure in anal stuff is huge, and it does not make them sexual failures.
But as other posters have said you have to choose your sexual partners wisely sometimes to get the most out of sex, especially when pushing your boundaries. |
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By *G LanaTV/TS
over a year ago
Gosport |
Hi, from your post its not clear how it became painful. One issue can be the lube 'drying out', especially when using relatively thin water based ones. This is why I prefer either a thick anal lube or to use a condom safe water/silicone hybred lube. I also find that pre-loading some lube internally using a lube shooter helps with this issue.
I find that the pleasure from anal is a mixture of physcological, from giving pleasure to another, and physical from the stimulation of the prostate and nerves especially around the sphincters. It can definately be a bit hit and miss and needs a top who is thinking of more than just thier own pleasure. Whilst other positions are often recommended to ease penetration I actually find I tend to get more pleasure when on my back.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be fair any decent top would work u up properly first. Lots of rimming and fingering. Getting you relaxed. U should always take it either sitting on it where ur in cintrol or face down arse up. Plus poppers help relax a bit.
Bad tops "
This  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My first couple of times I found I could only take it for a few minutes.
You get used to it I think.
As already said; a good top will get you ready.
I tend to get on top and lower myself onto guys who are really big. I feel I can control it better and let my body get used to him.
Keep trying. When it's right it's was better than using your penis. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mindset plays a huge part in enjoying anal sex, be relaxed, take it slow, and use plenty of good quality lube. Position also helps. Cow girl is good for being in control of pace |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had a fair bit of anal sex, but most guys I've just told to leave it before they are fully in because it's obvious they may cause damage through their ineptitude or lack of care. That came true with an idiot last year ramming home in two thrusts and I've had been unable to since because of high possibilty of tears.
Therefore I would really recommend as others say, to use good lube, lots of it, and lots of anal foreplay. If people won't give that then don't let them go there. Use your gut instinct and stop people when you know they don't know what they are doing. It will save you a lot of problems from injuries. |
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"As someone looking forward to my first time, id hate to meet people like that!"
Shame we are not closer. With a cracking wee arse like that id be happy to show you the ropes and be yer first lol. The older the fiddle the better the tune as they say  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all
Thanks for the advice been really helpful and it's made me determined to try again "
Might be worth investing in some buttplugs to wear before sex, that'll help loosen you up |
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I agree with lots of other they sound like bad tops but also maybe anal isn't for you.
I would advise you get some toys and learn what works for your own body before expecting other to get it right too xx
I have always played with toys but being taken by a real man is on another level I assure you once you relax xx |
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Plenty of lube and get them to start slowly and after a bit it should feel much more comfortable. You could also start off on top to control the pace and the depth of the penetration. Also use some toys when you're alone as practice.
Good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey all
I'm in need of some advice regarding anal receiving it , basically I've had 2 experiences once a few years back with an older guy he was average size after about ten minutes I had to plead with the guy to stop as it was hurting , he did say after for a newbie I took it perfect but he left disappointed and I felt like I let him down
And the. Tonite I met 2 guys both older again one average other larger so average guy had me first being sensible but he orgasmed quickly so was the next guys turn but again after about 5 minutes I had to ask him to stop he wasn't happy at all and called me a time waster which I am not , I dressed for them as they asked me to , so know I'm sat here basque thrown in corner looking like a panda wondering where the hell is the pleasure in anal ? Is there any ? I've given it before and hard and deep and people have loved it so what's the secret ??
Or if there's an older guy up for giving me another go I'm staying in Sheffield in a hotel drop me a line if you can show me how it's done ha "
Definitely definitely find more understanding partners. I think if anyone said that to me they'd see the sharp side of my fist.
I find anal is only possible when you're extremely turned on as well as relaxed. I would say it's 70% psychological.
Do you ever use toys as a precursor? Loads and loads of play beforehand and not just bum - all erogenous zones. |
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"To be fair any decent top would work u up properly first. Lots of rimming and fingering. Getting you relaxed. U should always take it either sitting on it where ur in cintrol or face down arse up. Plus poppers help relax a bit.
Bad tops "
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"To be fair any decent top would work u up properly first. Lots of rimming and fingering. Getting you relaxed. U should always take it either sitting on it where ur in cintrol or face down arse up. Plus poppers help relax a bit.
Bad tops "
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As a new receiver I think you have just been unlucky to over do it by having a long stayer and then going for a double.
There is fabulous pleasure in receiving anal sex and I think you experienced that with the first guy in your double date. But as with everything its a case of going easy until you are experienced and as everybody says used lots of lube and then even more lube.
I would strongly say you need to stick to one guy at a time until you have had more experience. And yes, definitely get lots of practice with butt plugs and dildos so you get used to the guys that are long stayers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"it's your body. you're not a time waster if you want to stop at any point.
hope you're ok."
This ^^^
What an absolute arsehole to call you a time waster. Pun intended. How dare he?! If you aren't comfortable with absolutely anything happening to YOUR body you have every right to say so!
As far as anal advice goes... I didn't enjoy my first couple of times either, i think it's the anxiety, it makes all the muscles there tighten. But then i met a guy who knew exactly what he was doing and he converted me, I love it now. So with the right person it might be the same for you? Certainly don't take this knobhead's reaction to heart, it says more about him than you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree plenty of lube and build up to it I had my first experience Wednesday and the mans cock was big 8" long and thick it did hurt like a bastard for the first five minutes then I relaxed and got into it. I did try on top but my legs are very short and found it hurt more so I lay on my belly and he got on top two hours later I was grinning like a kid in a candy shop I will defo try it again. Legs up over his shoulders was heaven. Still throbbing a bit today lol 3 days later. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There definitely is pleasure in receiving anal sex! But as most have already said, you've got to learn to relax 'it'. Play about with it yourself, start with a finger, then two. Get yourself a dildo to practice with. Always use plenty of lube and take your time.
Never just take it for someone else's pleasure!
Me and my wife love playing with my arse, dildo, strap on!!
And the evidence of pleasure? I can have multiple orgasms from it, then an almighty one when I finally cum |
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By *ransGuyTV/TS
over a year ago
Cardiff |
"I,'ve stopped doing anal, I find it painful sometimes.Men don't use lube, I don't think they have ever heard of it. XXX"
The number who go from vaginal to anal sex thinking that just because you're wet means they have plenty of "lube" on them already is ridiculous.
That is when the sub in me switches off and I take definitely obvious control of what is going on. I'm not nasty about it but I make it clear that we are stopping for lube before he goes any further.
If I know we are going to do anal beforehand I will lube myself up but keep an eye on it because the lube can dry out too quickly sometimes.
OP if you want to carry on you need to take control of preparation (internal and external lube beforehand) and practicing beforehand to find out what works for you and positions that give you control so that when you meet a guy you can use them to find out how the guys feel inside you, because they aren't all going to feel the same and some, no matter what they do, are going to hurt if you leave them to it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The key is nice and slowly and plenty of lube and work up. I started with small toys, then a small cock and now end up pushing back wanting more. But for me any bigger than 7" and can hurt. But 6" and I love it but have taken 10" strapon which felt massive. And she let me have it all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find regular play with toys helps when the time is right and doesn't take much foreplay before you relax when required. I good top should always check your body is ready before going for it. Getting caught in the excitement!    |
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For every one, of any gender or sexuality, the important thing is getting the right partner. And then communicate.
To learn to bottom, I'd suggest that you indulge in some solo play using toys.
And appreciate that just because someone else loves something, it doesn't mean that everyone will. Some gay men apparently don't like anal sex, either giving or receiving. And there are some who just like one of those.
Choose the right partner - the personality, their interests, experience and physical characteristics. And probably forget about taking on two or more guys in the same session until you have experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just take your time as this cannot be rushed... use a thin dildo first. . And it has to be at least six inches...it does take a few goes so don't worry. I have to admit the shape of a persons cock makes so much difference too..
Im a sex therapist and know my stuff...if you need any further help message me ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agree witb everything said already.
One thing I'd point out that no one else seems to have said, is to douche before it!! Not only is it nicer for the guy giving, as they are unlikely to pull out with a poo covered condom! But its more comfortable usually, as there is no fecal matter in the way!
Practice with an average sized dildo, try a couple of lubes and see what feels best, then always use the one you like the most. I find silicone lubes to thin, ky drys out to fast, but the blue Wet lube is great (pretty much everyone I know who does anal play uses it)
Hope that helps |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I really wanted to experience being pegged. Finally got lucky. But all I could feel was the urge to pee ! I couldn't escape it. Is that normal ? Do I have to 'learn' to get past that ? Or is that the sensation I'm supposed to be enjoying ? I'd been building up this excitement for ages, then felt like a real let down for the lady doing it. She didn't care though too much. She loved having that power over me, even if it was short lived ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey all
I'm in need of some advice regarding anal receiving it , basically I've had 2 experiences once a few years back with an older guy he was average size after about ten minutes I had to plead with the guy to stop as it was hurting , he did say after for a newbie I took it perfect but he left disappointed and I felt like I let him down
And the. Tonite I met 2 guys both older again one average other larger so average guy had me first being sensible but he orgasmed quickly so was the next guys turn but again after about 5 minutes I had to ask him to stop he wasn't happy at all and called me a time waster which I am not , I dressed for them as they asked me to , so know I'm sat here basque thrown in corner looking like a panda wondering where the hell is the pleasure in anal ? Is there any ? I've given it before and hard and deep and people have loved it so what's the secret ??
Or if there's an older guy up for giving me another go I'm staying in Sheffield in a hotel drop me a line if you can show me how it's done ha "
I think you got a shitty deal there, so to speak. As others have said, don't beat yourself up about it; it either isn't for you or, and this is important as it reinforces why you're not the problem, you may just need to find a partner who can get you to the place where you need to be to enjoy it. I love being fucked, but need to be ready. |
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Anal sex should NEVER be painful if it's done correctly.
The key is plenty of lube, and preparation - not only to make sure you are clean (it reduces anxiety) but also it helps to use a toy to gradually stretch the area.
During the sex itself, the key is to start slowly, and if a little uncomfortable to pause (without pushing further) for a few seconds before continuing. Never be afraid to use even more lube too.
I personally love it, but as with anything you can have so-so experiences too. For me any kind of anal play is more about the act being the turn on rather than just pleasure BUT if the spot is hit just right then it is a really amazing feeling. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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start slow , gentle, never say no to lube and always keep it within reach! its not a competition, some think with their cock , you have to listen to your body, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yep relaxing is a must, so is plenty of lube and would be better if you sat on his cock so you have plenty of control, if he's not satisfied with that tell him to fuck of its your arse. Eventually when you get better at it you will be taking it as deep as You want and be massaging his cock with your arse muscles, bugger
I'm all excited now |
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"Hey all
I'm in need of some advice regarding anal receiving it , basically I've had 2 experiences once a few years back with an older guy he was average size after about ten minutes I had to plead with the guy to stop as it was hurting , he did say after for a newbie I took it perfect but he left disappointed and I felt like I let him down
And the. Tonite I met 2 guys both older again one average other larger so average guy had me first being sensible but he orgasmed quickly so was the next guys turn but again after about 5 minutes I had to ask him to stop he wasn't happy at all and called me a time waster which I am not , I dressed for them as they asked me to , so know I'm sat here basque thrown in corner looking like a panda wondering where the hell is the pleasure in anal ? Is there any ? I've given it before and hard and deep and people have loved it so what's the secret ??
Or if there's an older guy up for giving me another go I'm staying in Sheffield in a hotel drop me a line if you can show me how it's done ha "
guys can be dicks!. Ive enjoyed anal with one or 2 guys, with my missus and doing it to myself....so its them doing it wrong, not the act itself. Get that basque on and hold that head up xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My parnter has no issues in fact he physically ejaculates (though as you can see in profile picture it is a beast) our preparation is a good warm wash out , poppers (relaxation is key) and we warm the strapon in hot water...Obviously real cocks are warm anyway |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am Bisexual and whilst until fairly recent, I would class myself as "top" only ie; give - but now enjoy receiving cock in right circumstances
Its absolutely no different than anal sex with your wife/gf , it needs to been done with some pre in mind ie; douche clean and fresh - but accept that "accidents2 can happen
in regards to the original OP questions - pre is even more vital for newbies - plenty of lube and lots of pre fucking stroking to relax you
Happy anal sexing peeps  |
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hehe!! Xx
