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Advice from couples on a mmf
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi,
We enjoy the swing scene with couples but from the smorgasbord of choice, how on earth do couples chose a likely target from the single males on here? Trying to arrange something for the wife (at her bequest). I thought maybe the forums might be somewhere to start as at least some on here appear able to string a sentence together. We've got filters for single males shutdown but if anyone local might be interested, drop us a message on here and we'll PM you.
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well you need to find the lassie someone she would actually fancy! Is this a surprise mmf?"
Yup, the missus is very aware i'm aranging something for her, she requested it. But she doesn't want to know who until we meet and trusts my judgement. Not an 'oh, by the way i've arranged something you never indicated you wanted' surprise. I value my life too much for that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes there maybe a massive choice of males on here, however finding one who is genuine, will turn up, understands swinging and can perform in a group situation certainly narrows your choice.
Look at veris. Read them to get a better understanding of what the fella is about.Don't be afraid to ask them lots of questions. Chose wisely and enjoy. |
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"Yes there maybe a massive choice of males on here, however finding one who is genuine, will turn up, understands swinging and can perform in a group situation certainly narrows your choice.
Look at veris. Read them to get a better understanding of what the fella is about.Don't be afraid to ask them lots of questions. Chose wisely and enjoy."
thus is the best advice u can have op. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am a single male who has a lot of experience in these situations. I would like to meet you if you're interested and I'm willing to travel or accommodate.
R |
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Our experience is that the older more experienced man is your best bet. They tend to understand the dynamics of a three some, are more relaxed about it and less likely to be overwhelmed by the anticipation.
I would say that its all likely to go more smoothly if all three of you have discussed boundaries and limits beforehand and the man whose joining you is treated as a genuine equal but I'm sure you understand that anyway |
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"Our experience is that the older more experienced man is your best bet. They tend to understand the dynamics of a three some, are more relaxed about it and less likely to be overwhelmed by the anticipation.
I would say that its all likely to go more smoothly if all three of you have discussed boundaries and limits beforehand and the man whose joining you is treated as a genuine equal but I'm sure you understand that anyway "
So someone 50 plus who has had mfm's would be good you think?   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Our experience is that the older more experienced man is your best bet. They tend to understand the dynamics of a three some, are more relaxed about it and less likely to be overwhelmed by the anticipation.
I would say that its all likely to go more smoothly if all three of you have discussed boundaries and limits beforehand and the man whose joining you is treated as a genuine equal but I'm sure you understand that anyway
So someone 50 plus who has had mfm's would be good you think? "
Sorry, have been given a little bit of a steer by the wife already and looking in the 25-35 age range.
Am reading and appreciating the advice from you all so ty.
Filters off for a day or two and time to have a proper look and do my research... |
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"Our experience is that the older more experienced man is your best bet. They tend to understand the dynamics of a three some, are more relaxed about it and less likely to be overwhelmed by the anticipation.
I would say that its all likely to go more smoothly if all three of you have discussed boundaries and limits beforehand and the man whose joining you is treated as a genuine equal but I'm sure you understand that anyway
So someone 50 plus who has had mfm's would be good you think? "
it's certainly a good starting point  |
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"Yes there maybe a massive choice of males on here, however finding one who is genuine, will turn up, understands swinging and can perform in a group situation certainly narrows your choice.
Look at veris. Read them to get a better understanding of what the fella is about.Don't be afraid to ask them lots of questions. Chose wisely and enjoy."
Hi
Please have a look at profile, if you'd like take things further send me a pm.
Pics and verifications are there.
Would be good to get you know you more.
But check out profiles, see which ones makes a good fit. Get to know the guys and vet if they are suitable for the Mrs. Once you feel happy, meet for a coffee or something and then take things further if everyone is happy.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have been lucky in finding a guy who Mrs likes and he is relaxed and friendly as well on the social side. Depends on what sort of guy the Mrs likes..does she find older men attractive ? Would you be OK with a man younger than yourself possibly fitter etc. Main thing is finding a guy you both feel comfortable with and who she finds sexy and attractive. Going blind into a meet from here is hard...maybe you chat to the guy and meet socially for a drink first. Explain it all that it's a birthday treat for the wife.. |
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"Our experience is that the older more experienced man is your best bet. They tend to understand the dynamics of a three some, are more relaxed about it and less likely to be overwhelmed by the anticipation.
I would say that its all likely to go more smoothly if all three of you have discussed boundaries and limits beforehand and the man whose joining you is treated as a genuine equal but I'm sure you understand that anyway
So someone 50 plus who has had mfm's would be good you think?
Sorry, have been given a little bit of a steer by the wife already and looking in the 25-35 age range.
Am reading and appreciating the advice from you all so ty.
Filters off for a day or two and time to have a proper look and do my research..."
You'll be inundated. This is just us but we won't even enter in to conversation with the man of a couple who is just sounding people out on behalf of his partner, single men might feel differently of course but again our experience has been that its more about what he wants. I appreciate that this isn't the case with you but just pointing out possible stumbling blocks. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We have been lucky in finding a guy who Mrs likes and he is relaxed and friendly as well on the social side. Depends on what sort of guy the Mrs likes..does she find older men attractive ? Would you be OK with a man younger than yourself possibly fitter etc. Main thing is finding a guy you both feel comfortable with and who she finds sexy and attractive. Going blind into a meet from here is hard...maybe you chat to the guy and meet socially for a drink first. Explain it all that it's a birthday treat for the wife.."
If nothing else, i'm practical and I am what I am. Younger, fitter, 'prettier' doesn't bother me. If it does we shouldn't be swinging.
Filters are off and the deluge has started...
Definitely a social 1st anyway, if whoever it is can'take make the time for that we'd probably steer clear anyway. |
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"We have been lucky in finding a guy who Mrs likes and he is relaxed and friendly as well on the social side. Depends on what sort of guy the Mrs likes..does she find older men attractive ? Would you be OK with a man younger than yourself possibly fitter etc. Main thing is finding a guy you both feel comfortable with and who she finds sexy and attractive. Going blind into a meet from here is hard...maybe you chat to the guy and meet socially for a drink first. Explain it all that it's a birthday treat for the wife..
If nothing else, i'm practical and I am what I am. Younger, fitter, 'prettier' doesn't bother me. If it does we shouldn't be swinging.
Filters are off and the deluge has started...
Definitely a social 1st anyway, if whoever it is can'take make the time for that we'd probably steer clear anyway. "
Should I message if the filters are off,lol.
Yeah shows commitment on both sides if they turn up for a social at a mutually convenient place. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We would go for a man who is experienced with couple play, and understands the dynamics of the MMF trio. This is actually quite hard to find. We normally look at verifications to gauge experience. Also those who play regularly clubs may be a good bet. |
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"Hi,
We enjoy the swing scene with couples but from the smorgasbord of choice, how on earth do couples chose a likely target from the single males on here? Trying to arrange something for the wife (at her bequest). I thought maybe the forums might be somewhere to start as at least some on here appear able to string a sentence together. We've got filters for single males shutdown but if anyone local might be interested, drop us a message on here and we'll PM you.
Mr"
Look at some of our veris there are guys we have played with quite local to you but as others have said find someone who has experience in a threesome as a lot of guys freeze in a group scenario . good luck and enjoy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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weve been together 23 yrs swung 8 years and if u need good advice i wouldnt do the whole suprise thing i would sit down together choose who u like then leave it upto your husband to then arrange it.
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Seeing as you are looking at a younger age group, you need to be absolutely positive it's a dynamic they're comfortable with and have done a few times.
Younger guys are more likely to say they are up for it and experienced when the reality is different. You don't want all the planning to us to waste.
Personally I'd search in ninja mode and only message those you think will be right.
Nita |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Seeing as you are looking at a younger age group, you need to be absolutely positive it's a dynamic they're comfortable with and have done a few times.
Younger guys are more likely to say they are up for it and experienced when the reality is different. You don't want all the planning to us to waste.
Personally I'd search in ninja mode and only message those you think will be right.
Nita"
Having seen some of the responses we've had today filters back on. Think as you've suggested we'll do the searching in ninja mode. |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"Seeing as you are looking at a younger age group, you need to be absolutely positive it's a dynamic they're comfortable with and have done a few times.
Younger guys are more likely to say they are up for it and experienced when the reality is different. You don't want all the planning to us to waste.
Personally I'd search in ninja mode and only message those you think will be right.
Nita
Having seen some of the responses we've had today filters back on. Think as you've suggested we'll do the searching in ninja mode."
that's the correct approach OP positive actions often lead to positive results  |
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Our first MMF was done at my request and wanted it to be a surprise.
Dax posted up a meet and he then sent me screen shots of the gents he thought i would like....i gave him a short list of 5 and he picked one.
So i got my fun and a surprise too |
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I have as much difficulty finding a genuine couple who are looking for a male to join them. I am older, experienced in these situations and have veri's to prove it. Somebody out there surely will be glad of my service?
I am very respectful and play by your rules. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes there maybe a massive choice of males on here, however finding one who is genuine, will turn up, understands swinging and can perform in a group situation certainly narrows your choice.
Look at veris. Read them to get a better understanding of what the fella is about.Don't be afraid to ask them lots of questions. Chose wisely and enjoy."
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is also a good idea for you to meet the guy first on your own. That way you can get a good idea what he is about etc and if he turns up for that then there is a good chance he will turn up for the next one. |
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