FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Ignoring message's or don't send message's back
Ignoring message's or don't send message's back
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Why is it when i send a message poeple think it good just to ignore you and dont even have the respect to say no thank you people like that should not be here  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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In my eyes its called respect if i taken the time to inbox someone i think i should have the same back even if its a no thank you but to ignore it is bad manners and disrespectful in my eyes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it when i send a message poeple think it good just to ignore you and dont even have the respect to say no thank you people like that should not be here "
Why should they,you chose to message them they didn't ask you too..... |
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You seem to be full of anger op.
People owe nothing to others. Just because one emails another does not mean they have to reply.. there are loads of forums similar to one you have asked..
People are not going to change.. best thing is to change attitude |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
Most women look at the profile first and if it doesn't interest them, they wont even open the message.
I am one of those women.
Also people don't reply with no thanks, because it opens them up to receiving an abusive message back - again I have received these type of messages. Also site rules state it is not rude not replying.
You should maybe read them  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my eyes its called respect if i taken the time to inbox someone i think i should have the same back even if its a no thank you but to ignore it is bad manners and disrespectful in my eyes "
But some ladies get 100s of messages a day, they would take hours to say no thanks to each one. Then guys reply to the no thanks. You're damned if you do damned if you don't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my eyes its called respect if i taken the time to inbox someone i think i should have the same back even if its a no thank you but to ignore it is bad manners and disrespectful in my eyes "
Well probably best you prepare yourself to be disrespected then... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But sometimes the problem lies where a reply is seen as an invitation for further conversation, prompting insults or demands to know WHY.
I wish there was a facility to send a 'this person isn't interested' picture that would cease communication links between both parties  |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
Some messages, are frankly, not worth replying too.
Suspect (especially new men) think this is a free brothel, and don't understand the swinging dynamics.
The one who go with the dynamic, well that is a whole new thread. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my eyes its called respect if i taken the time to inbox someone i think i should have the same back even if its a no thank you but to ignore it is bad manners and disrespectful in my eyes "
Right. Say, if you get a takeaway menu in the post but their menu or leaflet isn't appealing, do you ring them and say "thank you for the menu but I'm not interested"?
You need a smile & a tough skin to be on here I'm afraid! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be fair, women receive a lot of messages a day. It would be impossible to reply to all. If we tried, we would not be able to actually chat to the ones we want to talk to. It's the harsh reality I'm afraid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The FAQs explain that it isn't rude to reply. The men outnumber the women greatly on here, so the women receive hundreds of messages a day sometimes.
Imagine opening your e-mail inbox to find 200+ messages, all of which require replying to individually. How long would it take you to get through them all? Plus, while you're replying, more are coming in. It becomes an endless task.
To a degree, I see where you're coming from OP. I've put a lot of effort into messages only for them to be deleted. Occasionally I may get a reply saying "no thanks". In that case, I then reply thanking them for their reply as I know how full their in boxes can get.
While it may seem frustrating not getting any acknowledgement, the key is to just have patience. People can be on here for absolutely ages with no success whatsoever.
Hope this helps! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be fair, women receive a lot of messages a day. It would be impossible to reply to all. If we tried, we would not be able to actually chat to the ones we want to talk to. It's the harsh reality I'm afraid."
I once sat and worked out how many messages I got a day. My free time etc etc and worked out if I met everyone that mailed just for a one night stand it'd take me TWO YEARS. madness |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be fair, women receive a lot of messages a day. It would be impossible to reply to all. If we tried, we would not be able to actually chat to the ones we want to talk to. It's the harsh reality I'm afraid.
I once sat and worked out how many messages I got a day. My free time etc etc and worked out if I met everyone that mailed just for a one night stand it'd take me TWO YEARS. madness "
You have too much time on your hands |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"Because as couples you get thousands of mails from single guys , even when we put on profile we will contact single guys if interested , trouble is 99% of guys don't read profiles  "
This too OP, go back & look at the profile of who you sent the message too, do you fit 100% all their requirements? If not and you messaged anyway how is it them being rude.
So you have to fit first & then be close enough & then they have to find you more attractive than the 200 other guys today..
It's tough on here..
S |
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I used to reply to all my messages but the amount of people that keep trying to chat after a polite no thanks was a joke. I dont want to chat endlessly with people on here. In the end its easier not to reply if I'm not interested. Although if the message is well written and a decent message then I will give a nice polite message back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be fair, women receive a lot of messages a day. It would be impossible to reply to all. If we tried, we would not be able to actually chat to the ones we want to talk to. It's the harsh reality I'm afraid.
I once sat and worked out how many messages I got a day. My free time etc etc and worked out if I met everyone that mailed just for a one night stand it'd take me TWO YEARS. madness "
Wow! That is a crazy amount!  x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be fair, women receive a lot of messages a day. It would be impossible to reply to all. If we tried, we would not be able to actually chat to the ones we want to talk to. It's the harsh reality I'm afraid.
I once sat and worked out how many messages I got a day. My free time etc etc and worked out if I met everyone that mailed just for a one night stand it'd take me TWO YEARS. madness "
Well stop being so attractive then lol
Anyway, to pip into this, we have had a few messages from single guys and will always try to message back when we can. The problem with messaging back is that the door is then perceived to be wide open and then messages start arriving very frequently. Granted not all single guys are the same, and we understand that its hard for a single guy to get noticed on here, but the few will spoil it for the many.
We have been messaged and then blocked before we could respond, which annoyed us, but we moved on. I wouldn't take it as an insult not to get a reply, just chalk it off and forget about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the 'not interested' tab is a good idea but then I'd like to think it shouldn't be necessary and silence/deleted messages should be taken as thanks but no thanks.
The amount of messages some people get on here responding to everyone wouldn't be an effective use of their time.
Then there's the thought process around someone responding and people thinking that even though they've said no, the fact they have responded kinda means yes even though it doesn't  |
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"In my eyes its called respect if i taken the time to inbox someone i think i should have the same back even if its a no thank you but to ignore it is bad manners and disrespectful in my eyes "
Do you reply to every bit of junk mail that the postie delivers? Do you send the company a polite letter saying thank you but no thanks?
No thought not.
But in your eyes the fact that ladies do exactly that when your unwanted and unsolicited mail lands in their inbox is bad manners and disrespectful.
Slightly hypocritical op |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be fair, women receive a lot of messages a day. It would be impossible to reply to all. If we tried, we would not be able to actually chat to the ones we want to talk to. It's the harsh reality I'm afraid.
I once sat and worked out how many messages I got a day. My free time etc etc and worked out if I met everyone that mailed just for a one night stand it'd take me TWO YEARS. madness "
Can I join the front of that queue? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it when i send a message poeple think it good just to ignore you and dont even have the respect to say no thank you people like that should not be here "
You can't expect anything your choice to send the message and it does not mean they HAVE to reply. If you messaged me I'd probably just delete, would that warrant a ranty message then saying I was rude? If so then I'd block. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my eyes its called respect if i taken the time to inbox someone i think i should have the same back even if its a no thank you but to ignore it is bad manners and disrespectful in my eyes "
Just remember then to live by your own rule and get emailing back to every junk piece of mail you get through the post or by email, as they have taken the time AND in many cases money to contact you after all it would be disrespectful not too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it when i send a message poeple think it good just to ignore you and dont even have the respect to say no thank you people like that should not be here
Why should they,you chose to message them they didn't ask you too....."
And you could be one of 200+. Do you think they have time to answer all. .
Do you never receive "junk mail" in the post? Pizza leaflets etc? Do you send them nice replies? Like..."thank you Mar Pizzaman.....nice of you to send me another leaflet.....but I don't like cheese"....... it's actually exactly the same situation!
Think about it....... |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
"In my eyes its called respect if i taken the time to inbox someone i think i should have the same back even if its a no thank you but to ignore it is bad manners and disrespectful in my eyes
Right. Say, if you get a takeaway menu in the post but their menu or leaflet isn't appealing, do you ring them and say "thank you for the menu but I'm not interested"?
You need a smile & a tough skin to be on here I'm afraid!"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Let's turn this around. OP what is the maximum number of messages you would reply to on a daily basis if you were sent a large amount of messages? How much time do you think it is reasonable to spend doing what seems to be admin when you only joined Fab for a bit of fun? Do you feel every single message should be replied to, or just the ones that fit the description of what they are looking? And finally, what should be said in a rejection letter? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my eyes its called respect if i taken the time to inbox someone i think i should have the same back even if its a no thank you but to ignore it is bad manners and disrespectful in my eyes "
Noone asked you to message them though, do you take the time to reply to all the junk mail that comes through your letterbox?? |
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"If you read the site rules, no replies means not interested. It's always a sore point but it's not meant as a personal insult. "
Yes I try and answer most msgs but sometimes there's to many or your in a rush and can't reply to every one its not being rude and also you get offence msgs and you certainty don't want to reply to them  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe we should have an automated message that says: thanks for your message if you're what I'm looking for I'll get back to you, if not good luck in your search. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe we should have an automated message that says: thanks for your message if you're what I'm looking for I'll get back to you, if not good luck in your search. "
And a second saying dream on, and a third saying did you even read my profile
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"Imagine opening your e-mail inbox to find 200+ messages, all of which require replying to individually. How long would it take you to get through them all? Plus, while you're replying, more are coming in. It becomes an endless task."
Reminds me of the Prayers sketch in Bruce Almighty, lol...a never ending stream of emails, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe we should have an automated message that says: thanks for your message if you're what I'm looking for I'll get back to you, if not good luck in your search.
And a second saying dream on, and a third saying did you even read my profile
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""Imagine opening your e-mail inbox to find 200+ messages, all of which require replying to individually. How long would it take you to get through them all? Plus, while you're replying, more are coming in. It becomes an endless task."
Reminds me of the Prayers sketch in Bruce Almighty, lol...a never ending stream of emails, "
Funnily enough, I also thought of that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Now that you know it happens, and it's no longer a surprise, why not alter your expectations accept it and do what you can to receive a more positive response. |
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