FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Do women care?

Do women care?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Odd title I know but bear with me.

I think it's pretty obvious that on fab there are a relatively small number of women being chased by a very large number of guys. A woman posted yesterday that she'd had 50 messages in 2 minutes. She had no pictures, a one line profile and was in her 40s. So the women have plenty of choice and surely, even those my age, are mainly just going to go for the hot, (young?) guys.

Now I set my offering as a professional, educated guy with a personality who can chat, behave respectfully, has a lovely house in which to entertain (not some crap bed in a dingy flat). Jez, I might even make you something to eat afterwards haha. I send out well written messages not just 'let's meet' or 'wanna fuck' attached to a cock photo.

The question is do women care? Or more precisely, do they pick the hot guys and then try and find one who meets a bare minimum standard of personality?

Yes I'm fit, athletic, well dressed and clean. But the lack of fab for my pictures suggests no real enthusiasm amongst the female population here. Plus I'm more mature than many. Am I really just fooling myself that I can compete?

Thanks if you got to the end haha

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Odd title I know but bear with me.

The question is do women care? Or more precisely, do they pick the hot guys and then try and find one who meets a bare minimum standard of personality?

Thanks if you got to the end haha"

Unfortunately for you there aren't enough single women to go round!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

yes id say women care - from what you have written id say a lot of men will message anybody so its them that dont care - we dont message people with no pics or anything of profile - you got to have something to go on

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *oderndaylivesCouple over a year ago

Bristol

There are thousands of men on here, but once you start wading through the unverified, weird profiles, and filter out the ones you aren't attracted to, the ones who aren't compatible, you're Down down to a manageable number! Then once you start chatting, you filter out the ones who say something strange or are arrogant and annoy you...and actually, the number of men you would want to meet is quite small! This is my experience anyway, and even then sometimes they don't turn up!

Everyone is looking for different things. A lot of people are put off by people who are a lot younger as they may worry they are immature, that they are similar age to their children, or even that the younger person would make them feel self conscious about their body in some cases.

Be yourself, and be well mannered, build up a reputation and you will get meets. You come across as a genuine person which stands out on here

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Very few of them meet from what I've seen on here....the small amount that do that are left can pick and choose from the thousands of guys....so the chances of meeting with average pics and and average profile I would say are slim to none x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

You mention 'professional'

You are doomed, doomed I say.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/09/16 10:41:20]

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I do care about some of this stuff. But, being realistic, it's not going to make up for me not fancying someone based on appearance. I can be greedy enough on here to want to fancy someone physically AND find their personality appealing.

I'm not a precious jewel either, so that would put me right off.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Very true. I wouldn't be able to message you anyway as you've excluded my age range. I suppose I'm trying to decide whether a guy like me has any realistic chance here.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Very true. I wouldn't be able to message you anyway as you've excluded my age range. I suppose I'm trying to decide whether a guy like me has any realistic chance here. "

I think there's a realistic chance for anyone and everyone on here, but some will have to put more effort in than others whether it be age, looks, location or whatever.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Very true. I wouldn't be able to message you anyway as you've excluded my age range. I suppose I'm trying to decide whether a guy like me has any realistic chance here.

I think there's a realistic chance for anyone and everyone on here, but some will have to put more effort in than others whether it be age, looks, location or whatever. "

This.

There's a someone for everyone. But as a man, you generally either have to have patience or no standards. Both of which are in short supply generally.

Just take your time OP.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

One of the things I learned as a single swinger was that looks and cock size don't determine whether you are successful or not. I've later learned that age doesn't really come into it either.

You only have to look at the never ending posts by buff, toned, vwe young guys on the forums asking why they can't get a meet. If they were the main criteria I wouldn't have stood a chance

Much more important is getting yourself out there. I would say at socials rather than clubs to start with as networking is one of the best ways of getting meets. Single or part of a couple women talk and getting them talking about you, for the right reasons not the wrong ones, is the first major stepping stone.

Steve

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I appreciate all your comments. As you'll see from my profile I've had one meet so I'm not incapable of getting anywhere, it's just the time and effort v other means. I think my strength is that I'm literate. My weakness is my age, as Rubywoo demonstrates (no disrespect intended)...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ordonBennettMan over a year ago

dover

"I appreciate all your comments. As you'll see from my profile I've had one meet so I'm not incapable of getting anywhere, it's just the time and effort v other means. I think my strength is that I'm literate. My weakness is my age, as Rubywoo demonstrates (no disrespect intended)..."

Being older doesn't necessarily exclude you from any action on the site, but it is harder. Having said that I've been lucky enough to attract interest from younger women and couples who tend to prefer older experienced guys, so don't give up hope.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

From your profile I see you've had 4 meets in 9 months. That's a damn site better than alot of guys on here. Maybe you need to have a look at your expectations of the site

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't go for younger guys (although get loads of msgs from them) unless there is something that really intrigues me - I prefer older guys as they are more assertive, confident and kinky - the only problem is that I find very few older guys that I am attracted to looks wise ....not really looking for gym fit guys particularly either.

I am attracted to someone that can get the imagination goibg ahead of the body as well

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"From your profile I see you've had 4 meets in 9 months. That's a damn site better than alot of guys on here. Maybe you need to have a look at your expectations of the site"

That's slightly misleading. Two of the verifications are from the same girl. Two the girls I already knew socially from elsewhere (one I was astonished to see on here lol). So really only one meet. But only really used the site for a month anyway.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I keep saying this but no one man seems to listen.

YOU need to get out to as many socials as you can. As all these ladies are saying. They can pick and choose.

If you go to a social you can show them your genuine.

You can show them your charming.

You can chat to couples and single ladies.

You only get out what you put in

I've been on here 4 weeks. This site does work for the single man!!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Odd title I know but bear with me.

The question is do women care? Or more precisely, do they pick the hot guys and then try and find one who meets a bare minimum standard of personality?

Thanks if you got to the end haha"

Well,I just fabbed your pictures to try to cheer you up a bit.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""From your profile I see you've had 4 meets in 9 months. That's a damn site better than alot of guys on here. Maybe you need to have a look at your expectations of the site"

So you've been active for a month and you've got a meet. That's a better percentage than me!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't think I should be used as a demonstration (no disrespect taken) - I'm younger than a lot of women on the site so have different age expectations than I would if I was 41 instead of 31.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"So you've been active for a month and you've got a meet. That's a better percentage than me!"

I'm sure you could get whatever you want whenever you want.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don't think I should be used as a demonstration (no disrespect taken) - I'm younger than a lot of women on the site so have different age expectations than I would if I was 41 instead of 31."

No I'm sure. I wasn't really criticising your choice. You can imagine how disappointing it is to a guy like me though haha...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""So you've been active for a month and you've got a meet. That's a better percentage than me!"

I'm sure you could get whatever you want whenever you want. "

Yeah they how everyone sees it, but as someone else said..once you've filtered through the people you don't want to meet the number is quite small and theres no guarantee that they want to meet me!! Being a woman on here doesn't mean everyone will want you!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I keep saying this but no one man seems to listen.

YOU need to get out to as many socials as you can. As all these ladies are saying. They can pick and choose.

If you go to a social you can show them your genuine.

You can show them your charming.

You can chat to couples and single ladies.

You only get out what you put in"

No, I am listening and that makes a lot of sense. This whole conversation has been very interesting and I've got quite a lot of insight as a result...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hey OP, your question "do women care?".. I think your datable qualities such as lovely home, professional career and cooking skills probably aren't transferable to FAb. As a more mature lady (cough) I think I mentioned earlier that a 36 year old milf hunter didn't float my boat. Bang goes that theory!

xxx

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

p.s. See you Saturday OP!! X

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *manda63Woman over a year ago

Southampton

"Odd title I know but bear with me.

The question is do women care? Or more precisely, do they pick the hot guys and then try and find one who meets a bare minimum standard of personality?

Thanks if you got to the end haha"

Maybe we should try this, it clearly works lol.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Very droll L x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *opsy RogersWoman over a year ago

London

I've looked at your pictures, there's nothing g to fab there. Most women tend to fab the way the picture is taken and how it accentuates the person being photographed. Have a look at Thing Two, yes he has an amazing bod but the quality of his pictures are what makes them looking at as well.

There are plenty of blokes on here with the same body but crappy pictures and not so great bodies with fabulous pictures.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *opsy RogersWoman over a year ago

London

Age is of no consequence to many of us. It's all about attraction.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *opsy RogersWoman over a year ago

London

"Very droll L x"

Hit the 'reply + quote' thingy then we know who you are replying to instead of the copy and paste you're using.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ecretlyASoftieWoman over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

Some women care, others don't. If it's a one off yes a woman's likely going to go for the young stud. Personally I do care, I'm not out for one offs or specifics like young, it's always about the person, are they nice, will I have a good chat and sexy fun with them. Do i like them as a person is a good guide.

As someone posted above, there may be thousands of guys here but the actual number of decent guys who turn up and would be interested in meeting is quite small. Don't worry about your age against the youngsters, my best meets are with guys in the late 40's/50 bracket

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Very droll L x

Hit the 'reply + quote' thingy then we know who you are replying to instead of the copy and paste you're using."

Ok, thanks

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There are thousands of men on here, but once you start wading through the unverified, weird profiles, and filter out the ones you aren't attracted to, the ones who aren't compatible, you're Down down to a manageable number! Then once you start chatting, you filter out the ones who say something strange or are arrogant and annoy you...and actually, the number of men you would want to meet is quite small! This is my experience anyway, and even then sometimes they don't turn up!

Be yourself, and be well mannered, build up a reputation and you will get meets. You come across as a genuine person which stands out on here

Absolutely agree with all the above!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Whilst men may far outnumber women on Fab I feel it is reasonable to suggest that the women join with at least an intention of actually meeting or say they will not in their profile.

Most men seem to join looking for wank material and consequently build a reputation for backing out of meetings if they are asked.

As a result those guys who have several veris will be of more interest to the women because they are more likely to turn up and those without _iewed with suspicion.

Cue "I am genuine" and "I am reliable and will turn up" comments.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You've pretty well echoed my own thoughts - except I believe most women do care, they just don't have time to separate all the wheat from the chaff - so a lot of the time some good ones get missed. It is a game of probability and unfortunately, the odds are stacked against us.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

While I play with my bf I also play one on one ( he likes to hear about it etc) .

I prefer a bit of a more thought out message but not a novel .

With regards to looks - everyone has different taste so ones persons hot is another's not

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I've looked at your pictures, there's nothing g to fab there. Most women tend to fab the way the picture is taken and how it accentuates the person being photographed. Have a look at Thing Two, yes he has an amazing bod but the quality of his pictures are what makes them looking at as well.

There are plenty of blokes on here with the same body but crappy pictures and not so great bodies with fabulous pictures."

Yes his pictures are good but even they are not that well fabbed. I bet you as well that most of his fabs are from guys. I guess women just don't fab as much as guys...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There are plenty of blokes on here with the same body but crappy pictures and not so great bodies with fabulous pictures.

Yes his pictures are good but even they are not that well fabbed. I bet you as well that most of his fabs are from guys. I guess women just don't fab as much as guys..."

Clare never fabs, she's much too busy!!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In the terms you use, no women don't often care. Why would they?

The process you outline is fairly accurate, physical characteristics, body definition, height and penis size are the primary deciding characteristics. Personality is a factor but for most it's entirely secondary unless it fails to pass a bare minimum standard.

That's not to say it doesn't end up being the determining factor between a lot of potential meets. Since women will have multiple offers from guys who hit their physical requirements, personality will determine their order in the queue. But having a great personality won't get you on the guest list in the first place.

But, from the looks of it you have a very promising meet coming up. If you can succeed there you aren't going to struggle in general. So play on playa :D

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/09/16 15:34:20]

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Here are also a league of what women thinks of us who are into too much fitness lol

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"In the terms you use, no women don't often care. Why would they?

But, from the looks of it you have a very promising meet coming up. If you can succeed there you aren't going to struggle in general. So play on playa :D "

Promising meet?

Sorry out of interest is this the M or L in the couple posting.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I try to pick interesting people to meet but unfortunately for me interesting usually turns into weirdos. I think I might try the odd boring profile and see how that pans out. Sorry that's no use to you really is it

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *uzy444Woman over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"Odd title I know but bear with me.

The question is do women care? Or more precisely, do they pick the hot guys and then try and find one who meets a bare minimum standard of personality?

Thanks if you got to the end haha"
i care about who they are as a person, i dont do one offs, its just not me..to know that id have to meet you, to do that you have to be out and about meeting people. its as simple as that xx (try and generalise that), you are very far away for a fwb, unless we met somewhere, like a club and clicked straight away. starting from messages doesn't seem to end up with anything satisfactory, you really need to be known as a person, to find what you are looking for x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In the terms you use, no women don't often care. Why would they?

But, from the looks of it you have a very promising meet coming up. If you can succeed there you aren't going to struggle in general. So play on playa :D

Promising meet?

Sorry out of interest is this the M or L in the couple posting."

From one of the posts saying see you saturday i presumed it was a meet you were waiting on, and she's pretty hot so thats what i meant by a promising meet. If thats incorrect i must have misunderstood.

Its M posting, on the forums it almost always is. L doesnt really have the time for this stuff, she's constantly on the go with something.

Even in PMs its usually me for as long as it remains on Fab, our usual method is for me to hunt, her to vet and decide whether to ofer direct messaging (Kik/skype etc) once its passed a stage where they are worth serious consideration.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"In the terms you use, no women don't often care. Why would they?

But, from the looks of it you have a very promising meet coming up. If you can succeed there you aren't going to struggle in general. So play on playa :D

Promising meet?

Sorry out of interest is this the M or L in the couple posting.

Its M posting, on the forums it almost always is. L doesnt really have the time for this stuff, she's constantly on the go with something.

Sorry, yes you've misunderstood although understandably. The woman is just a social friend. We are planning to visit Club F on Saturday together (first time) to provide each other with moral support. I'll tell her you think she hot though. I'm sure she'll be pleased....

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In the terms you use, no women don't often care. Why would they?

But, from the looks of it you have a very promising meet coming up. If you can succeed there you aren't going to struggle in general. So play on playa :D

Promising meet?

Sorry out of interest is this the M or L in the couple posting.

Its M posting, on the forums it almost always is. L doesnt really have the time for this stuff, she's constantly on the go with something.

Ahh that makes sense, and feel free to let her know, though sadly i dont think we would be suitable for her since she's straight.

As for the club, have fun, we were there this friday and its much improved from my previous time as a semi-regular there. Bar looks a lot nicer, and although ive no idea HOW she achieved it Sue appears to have been correct that she's made it less cliquey. First time ive ever been in a club and felt very much a part of the social side.

Id rate it right up there with Quest now, and L who i expected might not like it very much, had a great night

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *eady and Willing 9Man over a year ago

Wherever the party is @

"Odd title I know but bear with me.

The question is do women care? Or more precisely, do they pick the hot guys and then try and find one who meets a bare minimum standard of personality?

Thanks if you got to the end haha"

Of course you can compete mate..I don't get half as many fabs as u do messages,even though the attention side would be nice and flattering I'd much rather meet someone and get more experience. You'll hear it over and over but patience is the key. Get off to some social events or even change your postcode so your profile is on _iew to a wider range of people

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic