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Swinging in a new relationship
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By *issLiss OP Couple
over a year ago
south east |
Hey guys!
So I've recently met someone and I feel like it might the beginning of something new *bless*
As mostly all new relationships we have amazing sex, all the time and can't get enough... However we were out a few weeks ago and one thing led to another and we ended up having a MFF (his first)
He knows I'm on here, what I've done etc and is very very curious and turned on about everything - as am I.
However thinking about things, is it wise to start swinging in the early stages of a relationship? Shall we save it for later? What if later doesn't come? Will it bring up problems? Etc etc
All opinions welcome!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why not? You have to do what feels right for you. When we met we both had single profiles on here, within a week we had gone to our first club together and haven't looked back. Lots of people meet on here or elsewhere and it naturally falls into place.
Good luck and hope you have lots of fun by yourselves and maybe with others  |
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I've never been in this situation myself but i think if he wasn't up for a swinging relationship he would have run for the hills.
I would just try to take things slowly and not rush headlong into it, take things at his pace. Put your relationship with each other first and communicate.
It's probably the same advice most people would give to an established, long term couple just starting to explore the swinging lifestyle together. |
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"Hey guys!
So I've recently met someone and I feel like it might the beginning of something new *bless*
As mostly all new relationships we have amazing sex, all the time and can't get enough... However we were out a few weeks ago and one thing led to another and we ended up having a MFF (his first)
He knows I'm on here, what I've done etc and is very very curious and turned on about everything - as am I.
However thinking about things, is it wise to start swinging in the early stages of a relationship? Shall we save it for later? What if later doesn't come? Will it bring up problems? Etc etc
All opinions welcome!! "
you simply can't conduct a relationship on "what ifs". If it feels right now, do it.
Enjoy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would suggest trying an MMF and see how he feels about seeing you with another guy.
I'm sure he is happy at his first FFM, but would be be so happy to share you? If he would then I see no reason not to start a swinging lifestyle together early on, obviously you'll have ground rules which as your relationship continues to grow might change and adjust, as long as you talk about it then there's no reason as to why it can't be an awesome time for you both  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We started swinging about 5 months into our relationship, was great for us, suited us totally as I am bi and Mark is greedy but it has never been the be all and end all of us, we have had some breaks from actively swinging along the way. I think if you both enjoy it, can communicate well and aren't afraid to say when you aren't comfortable with something then its great at any stage of your relationship.
(been swinging 6 years so far btw)
P x |
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I think to swing as a couple it's different from swinging as a single. You have to know each other well and you have to have proved to each other that the trust and consideration for the other is there. For that a relationship needs a little time.
We recently advised a friend of ours that if she felt it may go the distance then delete the single profile and after some time,plenty of discussion and when you both feel that your relationship is in the right place then come back later as a couple.
I think it will maybe give your relationship the best chance of going the distance if you demonstrate to each other that you both come first for each other before all others. Saying it and proving it are two different things.
I'm not saying that it can't work continuing to swing as a new couple, of course it can. But maybe building a foundation first will give it a better chance of being truly successful.
Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This goes against what many will feel on here but for me I'd never have had the level of trust and understanding that makes me feel comfortable with swinging for quite a few years into our relationship (I think it took about 16!  )
I know there are lots of people who hook up based on a mutual interest of swinging and some of those seem to last, but it wouldn't have worked for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say embrace it! I wouldn't hide my life style from my new partner.Because is what I am!You been honest and I admire you for that!You guys need to talk about your rules as a couple.Enjoy all the best!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey guys!
So I've recently met someone and I feel like it might the beginning of something new *bless*
As mostly all new relationships we have amazing sex, all the time and can't get enough... However we were out a few weeks ago and one thing led to another and we ended up having a MFF (his first)
He knows I'm on here, what I've done etc and is very very curious and turned on about everything - as am I.
However thinking about things, is it wise to start swinging in the early stages of a relationship?
"
We did
"
Shall we save it for later?
"
Why?
"
What if later doesn't come?
"
Exactly
"
Will it bring up problems?
"
It will if you don't believe in monogamy |
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By *oandjohnCouple
over a year ago
South Wales, will travel to Hereford, Worcestershire and Shropshire |
We were swinging within six months of meeting... and have been on and off ever since.. if your new partner is aware that you swing see how they feel about it and if they want to. Just be open and honest imho. They will or they won't. If they won't don't push it... |
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If this lifestyle is part of who you are ( and it obviously is you've been in my hot list years lol)
Then a true soul mate is someone that gets and understands you your wants and needs and the scene.
Not everyone on here wants the full swap both ways and finding your limits and boundaries together could be a thrilling journey...
Vanilla people seems far more curious and open minded than half the nsa wham bam thank you mams on here ..
I'd say if it feels right when your both ready why not ?
Just be open and honest about how it all makes you both feel at each step ..
Maybe go to a club . With no intentions to play with others. Test water .
Best of luck .. BE it a short or long term relationship have a fun one xxx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having been in a relationship where group sex figured from early days and currently being in one where we have explored exhibitionism/voyeurism but have no real desire to involve others I would say go with whatever feels right. There is no right and wrong on this situation |
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We started swinging a few weeks after we first met. Our sex was really great, but we both admitted we needed variety and had plenty in our previous marriages. It didn't seem that 'faithfulness' was going to be a realistic expectation, so we decided to try the swinging world. We loved it and it has worked for us - loving sex together but plenty of sex just for pleasure with other people. It might not work for others, though, you both have to be very open about sex and not jealous. . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like most things on life, you rolls the dice and takes your chance. You started down this path as soon as you told him about yourself. Having ffm 3some proves that. Quite were it leads from here is anyone's guess but the cat is truly out of the bag and has already done a runner and isn't coming back anytime soon. So, you go where the road takes you, either further down the rabbit hole or you grab a ladder and climb back out again. Something has to happen and it most certainly will. Just remember you aren't single in this, you have another persons feelings to consider and that's very different indeed and men are funny buggers about seeing people they care about have sex with other men. So tread carefully. Good luck to both of you x |
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Me and my wife now started dating and both wanted to try swinging so our 5th date was an orgy. Id always start early if being a swinger is important. Otherwise you may invest a lot of time and emotion to find its not for him |
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By *oandjohnCouple
over a year ago
South Wales, will travel to Hereford, Worcestershire and Shropshire |
"Hey guys!
So I've recently met someone and I feel like it might the beginning of something new *bless*
As mostly all new relationships we have amazing sex, all the time and can't get enough... However we were out a few weeks ago and one thing led to another and we ended up having a MFF (his first)
He knows I'm on here, what I've done etc and is very very curious and turned on about everything - as am I.
However thinking about things, is it wise to start swinging in the early stages of a relationship? Shall we save it for later? What if later doesn't come? Will it bring up problems? Etc etc
All opinions welcome!! "
So what did you do after all the advise? Are you a happy swinging couple?  |
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By *pices69Couple
over a year ago
Gravesend |
We met due to a site similar to this. So both experienced.
We had a 6 months break whilst we really got to know each other without distractions. Although in reality we spent 6 months planning our eventual return lol.
Still together, still swinging, still cant keep our hands off each other. Worked for us. Best pf luck to you what ever you decide xx |
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He sounds pretty chilled about it and knew from the start and hey you've already broke the deal with a first fabby night!
I say embrace it with both hands and judging by your smoking pictures he's a damn lucky man to have you
Crack on and fab your asses off x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Someone commented earlier, re: the ffm, I bet he was "wey hey", just interested if you have spoken about other aspects of swinging? Mmf, couples? Group sex, just curious that's all, no malice meant. |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
So you have a new boyfriend not used to swinging and something that you've obviously wanted for a while, yet continue to see others. This effectively says to him it's ok for him to see others too. So, at some point in the future, he's going to see someone you don't know or approve of (probably an ex) and your going to have a row over it. If not, as a newbie to the scene he'll be less than discreet and tell all his mates what a fuck you are and next thing you'll have one or two of them trying it on. Bad move I say. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you have a new boyfriend not used to swinging and something that you've obviously wanted for a while, yet continue to see others. This effectively says to him it's ok for him to see others too. So, at some point in the future, he's going to see someone you don't know or approve of (probably an ex) and your going to have a row over it. If not, as a newbie to the scene he'll be less than discreet and tell all his mates what a fuck you are and next thing you'll have one or two of them trying it on. Bad move I say. "
So by your logic because you swing that makes your relationship a free for all? If the guy goes off and cheats on her then he isn't worth being with anyway. Swinging or not |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Someone commented earlier, re: the ffm, I bet he was "wey hey", just interested if you have spoken about other aspects of swinging? Mmf, couples? Group sex, just curious that's all, no malice meant. "
I had the same thought. To a non swinger a FFM is probably a very different proposition to seeing his new girlfriend fucked by soneone else |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" To a non swinger a FFM is probably a very different proposition to seeing his new girlfriend fucked by soneone else"
Of course once you become a swinger you realise it's better |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am in the EXACT same boat and would just like to say... YOU LUCKY BITCH! Basically you've found someone who fits you well, rather than having to hide part of who you are.
Ps... A mff 'just happened'? *foams with jealousy*!!
Good luck darling. Rooting for ya x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" To a non swinger a FFM is probably a very different proposition to seeing his new girlfriend fucked by soneone else
Of course once you become a swinger you realise it's better "
definitely way more fun |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"So you have a new boyfriend not used to swinging and something that you've obviously wanted for a while, yet continue to see others. This effectively says to him it's ok for him to see others too. So, at some point in the future, he's going to see someone you don't know or approve of (probably an ex) and your going to have a row over it. If not, as a newbie to the scene he'll be less than discreet and tell all his mates what a fuck you are and next thing you'll have one or two of them trying it on. Bad move I say.
So by your logic because you swing that makes your relationship a free for all? If the guy goes off and cheats on her then he isn't worth being with anyway. Swinging or not"
What don't you understand the basic rule of forming a relationship. She has just given a guy an ultimate fantasy very quickly (mff). He also knows she is on a swingers site. He is not a swinger. If the shoe was on the other foot and you found out your potential bf was on a swingers site - how seriously would you take that relationship, how long would it last before you took your spoils and moved on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you have a new boyfriend not used to swinging and something that you've obviously wanted for a while, yet continue to see others. This effectively says to him it's ok for him to see others too. So, at some point in the future, he's going to see someone you don't know or approve of (probably an ex) and your going to have a row over it. If not, as a newbie to the scene he'll be less than discreet and tell all his mates what a fuck you are and next thing you'll have one or two of them trying it on. Bad move I say.
So by your logic because you swing that makes your relationship a free for all? If the guy goes off and cheats on her then he isn't worth being with anyway. Swinging or not
What don't you understand the basic rule of forming a relationship. She has just given a guy an ultimate fantasy very quickly (mff). He also knows she is on a swingers site. He is not a swinger. If the shoe was on the other foot and you found out your potential bf was on a swingers site - how seriously would you take that relationship, how long would it last before you took your spoils and moved on. "
This just says more about the type of person you are and how you work, than how others form relationships. Different strokes for folks. If they are happy to embark on a more open sexual relationship then why not? Being liberal in your sex life doesn't mean you don't want or deserve a serious relationship. Just because your fantasies are being fulfilled with someone doesn't mean you have to leave (and infact why would you if you are happy exploring and enjoying life's spoils together?) What it looks like (please correct me if I'm wrong) you are basically saying is she should get her hooks into him and tie him down before she gives him anything good or fun. Seems a pretty sad way to live life if I'm brutally honest. |
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