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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi we have been swinging for about 2 years now and still really enjoy it.The trouble i have is im still a very shy person and find it hard to socialise even in a normal atmosphere.Some people can look at this as being ignorant.My hubby on the other hand is shy but can chat to his hearts content lol.Does anyoner have advise for me.and i also find it hard to read signals especially in a club setting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We to come across as shy and to be honest we are especially in the clubs and like you we do find it hard sometimes to read the signs but are getting better at it with every vist 
Now this might seems strange that it took us ages to realise that the majority of the others at the clubs are there for the same reasons as us and that's to have fun 
Just hang in there and have fun
D&A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are shy too and still trying to get the push to go to a club, or even some other couple ask us, but we will get to one soon,, So there are other Shy ppls out there |
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This if it makes sense is an observation if you like that we made about ourselves when we was first getting into this hobby...
How does one make friends? We didn't have an answer at the instant until we started thinking about it and then we concluded that because of wanting to get into this hobby we were sort of 'forcing' our selves to make friends. That might sound totally off the wall but stick with me for a bit if you will...
Excluding swinging... how do you make friends? Our conclusion was that we don't as such, friendships just happen as a result of some external influence.
You might make friends at work BECAUSE of the work = common external influence.
You might make friends with other mums at the school - school/kids = common external influence.
Even if you go to a new pub for a drink, a meal, a game of darts, you might make some friends but thats just a bonus, you went there for a drink, meal, game of darts.
BUT... When you go to a swing club you go there to meet people. I think that going somewhere to specifically meet new people with a view to making new friends is possibly unique for most of us and only happens when looking to swing.
So do you end up sitting there feeling like you should be doing something but don't know what? Feel like you should be saying something but don't know what? Do you then worry about it?
The only person who can fix this is you, you've just got to find the courage to breakdown the barrier.
So why not try the classics... If you show interest in a person they will usually take it as a compliment, so you just need to find an excuse... 'Oh I like your...
tattoo/watch/ring/haircut/nails/profile on FAB etc. etc.
Once you have done it once it will boost your confidence, then twice and so on...
Even if you approach someone and say, "Hi forgive me for being crap at this but I'm fighting to get over my shyness" I bet most will say, "Really, me too"
The reason its difficult for you is because it is actually difficult for most people... be the one big enough and brave enough to break out of the rut.
I wish you the best of luck, I know how hard it is, as it took me half my life to overcome my shyness  |
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