FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > unwanted attention

unwanted attention

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I met this nice guy,or so i thought a couple of times,however noticed him sitting in his car outside my home one day,and he stayed there for over 4 hours,he hadent been invited,and later found out he had even been to my vets,to see if i was there with my dogs,do i need to be unduly worried about this,as he even calls my mobile daily many times,of which of course i never anwser,just looking for general advise on here,as i cant really speak to anyone close,due to my activities online.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

this guy is obviously showing disrespect to bounderies. why on earth would he feel it necassary to visit ur vets. how did u find out about that? but the best and decent thing to do is message him saying that ur not playing anymore. if u see him again, then ring the police stating that u met this guy over the net but his attention is certainly unwanted! at least when they ask, u can tell them u have politely asked him to leave u alone...therefore he will be breaking ur human rights....which is law!!!

i hope everything works out for u x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thankyou for yr reply,i assumed as he knew i had two small dogs he imagined me to be there for some reason,who knows how these peoples minds work?????

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had that happen to me in the very beginning when I first started meeting people of the internet. I met this particular man via a dating site, and everything was alright until I slept with him.

He would park further up the hill so I couldn't see him. It was my daughter who passed him on her way out and noticed him still there when she returned.

I told him I found him creepy and I'd call the police if he didn't stop stalking me and making my girls uncomfortable.

He was in love with me apparently and just wanted to be close to me. It did make me very wary of letting people know where you live - but the easily unhinged don't come with a notice stamped to their foreheads unfortunately!

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"I met this nice guy,or so i thought a couple of times,however noticed him sitting in his car outside my home one day,and he stayed there for over 4 hours,he hadent been invited,and later found out he had even been to my vets,to see if i was there with my dogs,do i need to be unduly worried about this,as he even calls my mobile daily many times,of which of course i never anwser,just looking for general advise on here,as i cant really speak to anyone close,due to my activities online."

I would tell him to stay away, and if he didn't, then I would call the police.

The police won't care where you have met him.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

yes i realise that now,nutters everywhere i guess,i just find it intimidating,as i live alone,apart from my two chuchuhas of course.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Irealise that,but if ever charges were brought,i have a family to consider,and i really dont want them knowing anything.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"Irealise that,but if ever charges were brought,i have a family to consider,and i really dont want them knowing anything."

I would imagine a word from the police might be enough to scare him off, as he probably wouldn't want any publicity either.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The police won't care where you have met him."

they wouldn't care as such, but they will need that info in order to best deal with the situation. just make sure u first ask him to just leave u alone. all else fails, set ur dogs on him....i'm sure his ankles would take some punishment

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thankyou so much for your advise.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

That really made me chuckle about my dogs,maybe i should replace them for two strapping rotweillers lol

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"The police won't care where you have met him.

they wouldn't care as such, but they will need that info in order to best deal with the situation.

I will elaborate on my sentance.

The police will need all relevant information, but they won't care that you have met him on a swinging site so don't worry about telling them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I will elaborate on my sentance.

The police will need all relevant information, but they won't care that you have met him on a swinging site so don't worry about telling them."

let me elaborate too....i agree with the above lol x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"That really made me chuckle about my dogs,maybe i should replace them for two strapping rotweillers lol"

agreed!!! or u could just entice this weirdo in to ur house....bound and gag him to ur bed...and decorate his penis as a chew toy for ur lil beauties to sink their teeth into. i bet he don't come back lol x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And do it now sometimes hanging about and waiting on the hope he will just get fed up can be to late ,better to be safe than sorry

Good Luck xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

obviously the above was a joke too! b4 anyone gets all worked up. i do not condone manhood decapitation

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

haha never thought of that one,my dogs are very partial to sausages lol

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

Keep a note of when you see him, times and dates, and as has been said send him a message to say that you're not interested and you'd rather he didn't stalk you. Remain polite but firm.

If he doesn't stop then report him to the police. No-one will care where you met him and I'm fairly sure that your family would rather you were safe.

Not a nice situation, I hope it works out okay.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"haha never thought of that one,my dogs are very partial to sausages lol "

are we talking jumbo, normal or cocktail though lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

many thanks for yr advise xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

lol average xx

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By *ruitWoman over a year ago

near kings lynn

I agree with what has been said, I spoke with a man on a dating and saw him on msn and chatted on the phone. When I alluded about my naughtiness his expectations changed and then assumed he would get some. He then began texting calling me leaving messaging calling me a slut etc.

I went to my police station and told them and then told me to message him one more time saying that we werent going to meet and to stop harassing me with phonecalls and texts immediately or i would pass it over to the police who would contact him.

He kept going for 4 days and then gave up. Police didnt care i met him of net and was a swinger(me). they just warned me of the dangers of meeting people from the net.

So send him a warning text to cease the stalking immediately or the dossier of information that you have on him-times and dates and vets etc will be passed to the police who will come and speak with him to diuscuss it further.

All the best xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

thankyou xx

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By *ruitWoman over a year ago

near kings lynn

Send him a final warm=ning and tell him if you see him once more then you will be contacting the local police you can trace him from his name and car registration,,,say anything but give him his final warning, and then DO contact the police. x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Totally top advice from Fruit, there.

I had the same thing (guy who thought he was 'entitled' to sex, despite me saying social-meet-only.)

I was more fortunate than you, in that he didn't have my home address. However, the police took his threats very seriously, and didn't 'judge' me for the fact that I had met him through a swingers site.

Big tick for the police, as far as I am concerned

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

yes absoulutely im happy that worked for you xx

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By *ruitWoman over a year ago

near kings lynn

Please do let us know what you decide to do as us ladies need to take comfort that it is possible to say NO in the biggest voice and get backed up by the police.

I seem drawn to this thread now wanting to make sure you have sorted it out.

Let us know ok x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Talk to him on the phone. Tell him your fears, tell him if it continues you will have to take things to the authorities but try and keep it civil and polite and see how he responds.

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By *ruitWoman over a year ago

near kings lynn

Corin, I dont think there is any point speaking with him as that opens up more conversation and he doesnt give a monkey about her fears as he is basically stalking her. Her feas and wants are not important to him at all.

If a man is stalking you then speaking with him nicely and appealing to his good nature isnt going to work.

A simple text carefully worded with clear precise ultimatum is needed with no pretty pleases but I DO NOT WANT or EXPECT you to do this,,,or the police will be contacted if I see you in the same area as me.

Sorry hunny but asking him to think about it isnt going to work. Its time for serious action now x

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By *ezebelWoman over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

Keep copies of any messages he sends, dont delete texts and if you see him around your home maybe take photos with your mobile phone

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By *ustyWoman over a year ago

inverclyde

to the OP i had a guy a few years ago pester me and stalking me as well not from site i have to say but i did report him to the police,after some time he went to court was charged with harrasement got a £150 fine plus court cost also he was not to contact me or come anywhere near me or my hosue as was was in breech an injunction, it worked as well as never heard from him after that

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

many thanks for that xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I know and thankyou xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

ok will try that.....lets hope it works xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yee gods this guy is stalking you, report him to the police and this site, block his number from your phone too

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By *eaboMan over a year ago

marden

don't talk to him, not even to say leave me alone, send him a firmly worded text. Write down every time he has been outside your house, near your house, to your vets. The next time he texts or you see him or his car go straight to the police. They will not be too worried about where you met him, but they will be concerned about stopping him.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Aww hun that's terrible, and listen to the great advice you've had on here-apart from the post that suggested you talk to him. He's a nutter and needs a clear message. I had a stalker after a one night stand, called the police and had him arrested. He had previous including assault, torture and kidnapping!! You're vulnerable cos you live alone but police won't judge you cos you're not doing anything wrong and your family won't be told. Take care and be strong x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

suziq, i think the advice that you have been given from everyone is spot on, deal with this matter asap and get this guy spoken too by the police.

so that you can peace of mind.

as for the dogs, they will still protect you in there own way, they are beautiful animals.

hope you get this sorted very, very soon

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thats just awful,what does the guy think he is going to gain by scaring you?

I would phone the police and ask them for some advice and like others have said log dates,times ect and save voicemails also texts.

I hope you get this sorted out but please dont delay in getting in touch with the police.

Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

ring the police straight away, don't wait he needs to be warned off.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

thankyou so much xx

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By *itianmandyWoman over a year ago

london

"Corin, I dont think there is any point speaking with him as that opens up more conversation and he doesnt give a monkey about her fears as he is basically stalking her. Her feas and wants are not important to him at all.

If a man is stalking you then speaking with him nicely and appealing to his good nature isnt going to work.

Sorry hunny but asking him to think about it isnt going to work. Its time for serious action now x"

Totally agree with that, the OP should not contact verbally, she has no record of wht went on in the conversation and he could subsequently claim she called him to arrange to see him!

This example is one reason why we should think very very carefully about allowing effectively strangers into our homes for sexy adventures.

Hope it all works out well for the OP

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

suzyg, its been 3 days since you posted this, please say how things are going? have you done any of the above? hope your ok.x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i hope this is now sorted hun x

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By *anny PepperoniMan over a year ago

Matlock

If a man is stalking you then speaking with him nicely and appealing to his good nature isnt going to work.

Sorry hunny but asking him to think about it isnt going to work. Its time for serious action now x

Totally agree with that, the OP should not contact verbally, she has no record of wht went on in the conversation and he could subsequently claim she called him to arrange to see him!

This example is one reason why we should think very very carefully about allowing effectively strangers into our homes for sexy adventures.

Hope it all works out well for the OP"

Totally agree make sure any communications are recordable, email or text and absolutely no need to be nice. Be straight to the point and no nonsense no ambiguity.

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By *uckscouple2007Couple over a year ago

Bucks

"i hope this is now sorted hun x"

well she was last on-line a few min ago and has posted a new status a few hours ago so hopefully nothing bad has happened

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By *un2bewith2011Man over a year ago

colchester

Poor thing. A nightmare scenario but all females on here are at risk

Here is some genuine and accurate advice for you all

Just read your scary post in the forum

Basically he is potentially guilty of harassment and as such his behaviour is menacing to say the least

Take a note of his car Reg no and without him seeing you take a picture

Keep a diary of events as and when they happen, (contemperaneous)also write out a statement of what has already happened

Keep all txtd on your phone

Do not make contact with him under any circumstances

Then after a few days of these records go to the police

At the least they will interview him and give him a formal caution, or it may progress to a magistrates hearing where the likely outcome will be to bind him over to stay away by an injunction. Or if he persists hello prison

Do not worry about the police they have heard it all before

Good luck ( genuine and free legal advice)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i hope this is now sorted hun x

well she was last on-line a few min ago and has posted a new status a few hours ago so hopefully nothing bad has happened

yes looks like she well over it and on the hunt .....begs the question really !!! but maybe im just an old cynic ??

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By *ids bull 1Man over a year ago

midlands

"Poor thing. A nightmare scenario but all females on here are at risk

Here is some genuine and accurate advice for you all

Just read your scary post in the forum

Basically he is potentially guilty of harassment and as such his behaviour is menacing to say the least

Take a note of his car Reg no and without him seeing you take a picture

Keep a diary of events as and when they happen, (contemperaneous)also write out a statement of what has already happened

Keep all txtd on your phone

Do not make contact with him under any circumstances

Then after a few days of these records go to the police

Do not worry about the police they have heard it all before

Good luck ( genuine and free legal advice)"

were all at risk not just the fems dont forget about that it happen to us guys as well

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Take his car reg number and tell him if you see him again your reporting him to the police

I have had guys turn up at my house twice now in the past, men think because your a single female your a easy target on here and have no repect for you at all, they wouldnt do it if you was a couple!

Then please take my advice, stop accommodating, its the only way to ensure your safty and this does not happen again

Since the second guy turned up at my house un invited and my kids was home i never gave my address out on here to anyone again

As a single woman you have to put your safty first x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Take his car reg number and tell him if you see him again your reporting him to the police

I have had guys turn up at my house twice now in the past, men think because your a single female your a easy target on here and have no repect for you at all, they wouldnt do it if you was a couple!

Then please take my advice, stop accommodating, its the only way to ensure your safty and this does not happen again

Since the second guy turned up at my house un invited and my kids was home i never gave my address out on here to anyone again

As a single woman you have to put your safty first x"

This is why I have my meets at swingers clubs makes sense

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By *andy muncherMan over a year ago

Nottingham

[Removed by poster at 20/04/11 01:10:58]

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

i do not intend to let this one bad apple spoil my fun,and if i want to go on the hunt,as you so cynically put it i will do so,that surely is what we are all here for????????

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By *ustyWoman over a year ago

inverclyde

well after having a quick read of the ops profile am speechless in a way........ you know what you want but to me what you have said on profile and bit at the top to molest a young guy you are leaving yourself wide open{perdon the pun} to all sorts of guys and thats why what has happened has happened, we are all here for fun but try to choose your guys carefully

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Totally top advice from Fruit, there.

I had the same thing (guy who thought he was 'entitled' to sex, despite me saying social-meet-only.)

Big tick for the police, as far as I am concerned

Beofre meeting my Monster went through a time of meeting from a different site...had the misfortune of meeting one guy who didnt understand a "no" and ended up in Emergency, since then I am very carefull and would have wished at the time that I had contacted the police and told them about him.. but now have my "tame" Monster with me for meets even if he doesnt play...Be always safe and the coppers dont care where you meet a person for them "safe is safe, as 1st rule"... H. x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

please refrain from judging me for what i like,i was simply looking for advise on one topic only,my preferences are mine alone,and im sure i am allowed that freedom,without futher rude comments.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Noone is judging u!

I think they past comment that's all

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple over a year ago

in Lancashire

hi,

without being judgemental or making a comment on your preferences the way you have worded the top of your profile does look iffy.

put it this way if a single guy had the same but was looking for a girl it would look well dodgy.

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