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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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How to get my gf to have a mmf??
Me and my GF came on this site for a MMF and she pulled out last minute. I know deep down she gets turned on by the thought of getting used by two guys . I need to find a way to go about making it happen as I don't think both of us coming on this will work for her but I think if it happened out the blue and she thought it was all her idea and it was random she would go for it . So I need some advice,ideas and plans to go about making this happen thanks . |
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"You need to respect her wishes. She doesn't want to do it so no amount of persuasion will make it happen.
If you try you run the risk of losing her"
I agree. If she won't entertain it or Fab then that's your answer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If she pulled out she pulled out for a reason if you try and manipulate or trick her into it you will probably end up on here as a real single
Rule 1. No means no...no questions asked
Respect your wifes wishes |
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"How to get my gf to have a mmf??
Me and my GF came on this site for a MMF and she pulled out last minute. I know deep down she gets turned on by the thought of getting used by two guys . I need to find a way to go about making it happen as I don't think both of us coming on this will work for her but I think if it happened out the blue and she thought it was all her idea and it was random she would go for it . So I need some advice,ideas and plans to go about making this happen thanks . "
Read that back to yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes the fantasy of it is the turn on but not actually going through with it.
Be very careful if you push her to hard you could lose her. It took my gf 10 years of being bi curious to actually try a mff (all her idea) as she kept backing out. Now she's right into swinging. Try speaking to her and ask what her concerns are in regards to a mmf. It may just be she's self concious |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What they all said. Consent is a genuinely awesome thing - you can't just go behind her back thinking, 'she'll love it once it gets going'. Not cool man, sorry! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Swinging is definitely something to be done in an open way with your partner as trust is essential. She may change her mind at a future date if you are patient. First and foremost your relationship with her comes first. |
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Have you thought about going to a club together? CJ's in Glasgow is quite close to you. I've been there with a lady friend and it's a no pressure environment and enormous fun. Join in if you wish or just socialise and watch if that's what you fancy.
In my experience, if you spectate a little then play with each other a little, it won't be long till you will want to go that small step further.
At the end of the day, she shouldn't be pushed unwillingly into any situation, but once exposed to people enjoying the swinging scene, she may feel different.
Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree with what everyone's said about manipulating her... That's a big no no.
My own experience was that i was into this lifestyle and knew my boyfriend was inexperienced. So i made sure to tread carefully and not freak him out. I started by telling him i'd had threesomes... He was turned on by it and wanted to try one himself, so we did. From there he asked more and more questions until we were having open conversations about what we'd like.
But this was always a joint thing, i never tried to get him to do something he didn't want to. And ultimately, if at any point he'd said it wasn't for him, that would have been enough for me to drop swinging. I'd choose him every time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if shes that keen just wait until shes ready - push her and she will push back and be further away from doing the deed than ever - no bugger pushes me into doing anything i dont want to i would end up resenting them |
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The op hasn't been back to this thread since so I guess he's had a rethink or didn't get the answers he thought he would.
I'm always bothered a bit by posts like this. The coercive nature of the language and the insistence that the op knows what their partner wants despite evidence to the contrary. It's a not very subtle attempt to set a woman up and put her in a position where "she thinks it was all her idea". I find it quite sinister nobody who had real respect for their partner or their autonomy would even think of writing this post. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The op hasn't been back to this thread since so I guess he's had a rethink or didn't get the answers he thought he would.
I'm always bothered a bit by posts like this. The coercive nature of the language and the insistence that the op knows what their partner wants despite evidence to the contrary. It's a not very subtle attempt to set a woman up and put her in a position where "she thinks it was all her idea". I find it quite sinister nobody who had real respect for their partner or their autonomy would even think of writing this post."
Swinging is meant to be fun and freely entered into. Some people love it, some people don't.
It certainly should not be about coercion or manipulation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The op hasn't been back to this thread since so I guess he's had a rethink or didn't get the answers he thought he would.
I'm always bothered a bit by posts like this. The coercive nature of the language and the insistence that the op knows what their partner wants despite evidence to the contrary. It's a not very subtle attempt to set a woman up and put her in a position where "she thinks it was all her idea". I find it quite sinister nobody who had real respect for their partner or their autonomy would even think of writing this post."
Posts like this are disturbingly common tbh. |
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"The op hasn't been back to this thread since so I guess he's had a rethink or didn't get the answers he thought he would.
I'm always bothered a bit by posts like this. The coercive nature of the language and the insistence that the op knows what their partner wants despite evidence to the contrary. It's a not very subtle attempt to set a woman up and put her in a position where "she thinks it was all her idea". I find it quite sinister nobody who had real respect for their partner or their autonomy would even think of writing this post.
Posts like this are disturbingly common tbh. "
No means no! . .unless it means yes.
Women can sometimes be very confusing.
I dont think ill ever know where i stand  |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
Perhaps the clue to why she doesn't want to go through with a MFM lies in your description of it. Seeing it as her "being used" doesn't bode well. We have had many MMFs and even MMMMMFs and never have I felt I was "being used" - if I had I would not have participated. I have MMFs for fun and enjoyment, not to be used by someone or to fulfill another person's fantasy. |
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"The op hasn't been back to this thread since so I guess he's had a rethink or didn't get the answers he thought he would.
I'm always bothered a bit by posts like this. The coercive nature of the language and the insistence that the op knows what their partner wants despite evidence to the contrary. It's a not very subtle attempt to set a woman up and put her in a position where "she thinks it was all her idea". I find it quite sinister nobody who had real respect for their partner or their autonomy would even think of writing this post.
Posts like this are disturbingly common tbh.
No means no! . .unless it means yes.
Women can sometimes be very confusing.
I dont think ill ever know where i stand "
There's nothing confusing in the original post and if you always assume that no means no you won't ever be confused and will always know where you stand. If a woman says no when she means yes she's being manipulative and putting you in a very dodgy position. Does that clear it up? |
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"The op hasn't been back to this thread since so I guess he's had a rethink or didn't get the answers he thought he would.
I'm always bothered a bit by posts like this. The coercive nature of the language and the insistence that the op knows what their partner wants despite evidence to the contrary. It's a not very subtle attempt to set a woman up and put her in a position where "she thinks it was all her idea". I find it quite sinister nobody who had real respect for their partner or their autonomy would even think of writing this post.
Posts like this are disturbingly common tbh.
No means no! . .unless it means yes.
Women can sometimes be very confusing.
I dont think ill ever know where i stand
There's nothing confusing in the original post and if you always assume that no means no you won't ever be confused and will always know where you stand. If a woman says no when she means yes she's being manipulative and putting you in a very dodgy position. Does that clear it up?"
Clearly you havent met some of the ladies i have in the past lol
They say no to something and then 2 days later they moan because i havent done it yet.
Like wtfaaaaaaaaaack
|
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"The op hasn't been back to this thread since so I guess he's had a rethink or didn't get the answers he thought he would.
I'm always bothered a bit by posts like this. The coercive nature of the language and the insistence that the op knows what their partner wants despite evidence to the contrary. It's a not very subtle attempt to set a woman up and put her in a position where "she thinks it was all her idea". I find it quite sinister nobody who had real respect for their partner or their autonomy would even think of writing this post.
Posts like this are disturbingly common tbh.
No means no! . .unless it means yes.
Women can sometimes be very confusing.
I dont think ill ever know where i stand
There's nothing confusing in the original post and if you always assume that no means no you won't ever be confused and will always know where you stand. If a woman says no when she means yes she's being manipulative and putting you in a very dodgy position. Does that clear it up?
Clearly you havent met some of the ladies i have in the past lol
They say no to something and then 2 days later they moan because i havent done it yet.
Like wtfaaaaaaaaaack
"
I know women like that and as I said they're manipulative putting you in a potentially dangerous position. If a woman can't be honest about wanting something then she is being dishonest for a reason. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think u should respect her wishes. It should be her decision and if she feels that it is not for her then u should let it drop and not try to trick her into anything as she wont enjoy the fun "
You're talking to no one hes unlos lol |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
"do the guys play wit each other in mmf? ive always wondered.
I believe they do in a MMF but not in a MFM "
Not necessarily! The terms are interchangeable. In all our MMFs, MMMF, MMMMFs etc the guys have played totally straight (personally anything else would turn me off). If only MFM meant that the guys played straight how would you write a straight MMMMMF? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We meet as a couple for both mmf and ffm, when I do mmf it's for me not for the guys. I do not consider myself used at the time. They give me pleasure and I hope they get some in return"
Certainly in an MMF the women is getting twice as much fun as the guys!! |
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"The op hasn't been back to this thread since so I guess he's had a rethink or didn't get the answers he thought he would.
I'm always bothered a bit by posts like this. The coercive nature of the language and the insistence that the op knows what their partner wants despite evidence to the contrary. It's a not very subtle attempt to set a woman up and put her in a position where "she thinks it was all her idea". I find it quite sinister nobody who had real respect for their partner or their autonomy would even think of writing this post."
 |
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"do the guys play wit each other in mmf? ive always wondered.
I believe they do in a MMF but not in a MFM
Not necessarily! The terms are interchangeable. In all our MMFs, MMMF, MMMMFs etc the guys have played totally straight (personally anything else would turn me off). If only MFM meant that the guys played straight how would you write a straight MMMMMF? "
Agree with you - but I always use the combo MFM - as a subtle way of highlightin that I am straight... Yet to do a MMMF, or more! |
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"We meet as a couple for both mmf and ffm, when I do mmf it's for me not for the guys. I do not consider myself used at the time. They give me pleasure and I hope they get some in return
Certainly in an MMF the women is getting twice as much fun as the guys!! "
That's why I like it - I have this image of myself being some sex stud (ha!) servicing some rapacious greedy lady with her partner. |
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