FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Falling in love
Falling in love
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions? |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions? "
don't control them would be my advice .
just control your behaviour due to your natural feelings .
falling in love or deeply caring about someone is not something to be avoided in my opinion .
emotions are part of the joy of life and should be embraced and cherished because with out any emotions especially love one is not living in my opinion one is just existing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes it does happen, you get to meet someone a few times, stay overnight, then a few nights. Then start having normal but sexy relationship and love comes into it. But because you met on here, and sometimes you cant be with them they think you played away when in reality you didn't. The break up occurs with the hurt that happens whether you met on here or not! So yeah like normal life, love happens on here! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions?
don't control them would be my advice .
just control your behaviour due to your natural feelings .
falling in love or deeply caring about someone is not something to be avoided in my opinion .
emotions are part of the joy of life and should be embraced and cherished because with out any emotions especially love one is not living in my opinion one is just existing. "
Yes I do understand that (I'm quite old and have lived) but I don't want to fall in love, not from a meet here  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Could certainly see how it would happen.......a guy falling for you. You are stunning! "
That so kind, but it's rather the other way round I'd like to avoid  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Love can happen why not?
If it does enjoy it. A swinging partner could be just as much fun as swinging alone. "
I guess the problem occurs if they don't feel the same way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Yes I do understand that (I'm quite old and have lived) but I don't want to fall in love, not from a meet here "
Then make a rule that u don't meet the same person more than a couple of times |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Yes I do understand that (I'm quite old and have lived) but I don't want to fall in love, not from a meet here
Then make a rule that u don't meet the same person more than a couple of times"
I think you're right. Although I've found myself falling for a guy before I've even met him! Ridiculous of me really. Thank you |
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Can't say it's ever something I've suffered from I've only let myself fall for someone if They've told me they'd like to be with me and I'm open to more with them other than that it's just good fun with good friends |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some will sleep with anyone...others only if they're feeling a connection and in my opinion that's when there's a risk of developing feelings. I do it myself haha as i treat my meets more like a date that's not a date...you're aware there's a line you don't cross but sometimes things just happen.
I'm the same...don't want a relationship with a man from fab but really i suppose a man is a man no matter where you met him. It's just that on here you're aware of what he's up to lol
I say go for the ones less your type then you're less likely to want more 
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Some will sleep with anyone...others only if they're feeling a connection and in my opinion that's when there's a risk of developing feelings. I do it myself haha as i treat my meets more like a date that's not a date...you're aware there's a line you don't cross but sometimes things just happen.
I'm the same...don't want a relationship with a man from fab but really i suppose a man is a man no matter where you met him. It's just that on here you're aware of what he's up to lol
I say go for the ones less your type then you're less likely to want more
"
Eheh! Thats great  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Yes I do understand that (I'm quite old and have lived) but I don't want to fall in love, not from a meet here
Then make a rule that u don't meet the same person more than a couple of times"
I don't do regular meets with the same guy for this very reason. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Love can happen why not?
If it does enjoy it. A swinging partner could be just as much fun as swinging alone.
I guess the problem occurs if they don't feel the same way. "
Isn't that just the same as with other ways of meeting people? Unrequited emotions can arise whatever the fun activity is that brought you together.
I know what you mean. Having sex with someone is a particularly open thing to do and you can feel much more emotionally vulnerable. Not sure what would be helpful advice. I tend to think that if I feel like I'm falling in love with someone, I'm emotionally vulnerable around them no matter what we're doing. Maybe less so if I had a sexual outlet with them? I'd feel less shy about admiring them and showing affection.
Not sure if that made any sense, lol. |
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Hi Lady,
You cant help falling in love... it happens. You can deny it... but that only hurts one person you!
Your profile states that you don't like cheats,I read this as you respecting relationships.
My advice, is to hide your profile and to tell your lover that you have done so, because he satisfies all of your sexual needs and that you have found what you are looking for
Hopefully he will soon do the same and you will create a joint profile
Good luck
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hi Lady,
You cant help falling in love... it happens. You can deny it... but that only hurts one person you!
Your profile states that you don't like cheats,I read this as you respecting relationships.
My advice, is to hide your profile and to tell your lover that you have done so, because he satisfies all of your sexual needs and that you have found what you are looking for
Hopefully he will soon do the same and you will create a joint profile
Good luck
"
Oh no, I'm not in that position, but I nearly was, hence wanting to avoid it in future |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not an expert at this advice stuff OP but might I suggest:
-maybe try no kissing
-either you or him bugger off after sex! No cuddling in bed after
-just get on with it, less talk more action
-unless its a booty call no txting or calling
I know must sound like a hush bastard lol  but just being honest, if thts what u really want  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Not an expert at this advice stuff OP but might I suggest:
-maybe try no kissing
-either you or him bugger off after sex! No cuddling in bed after
-just get on with it, less talk more action
-unless its a booty call no txting or calling
I know must sound like a hush bastard lol but just being honest, if thts what u really want "
And you're right. It's about getting the balance of contact. Thank you |
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"Love can happen why not?
If it does enjoy it. A swinging partner could be just as much fun as swinging alone.
I guess the problem occurs if they don't feel the same way. "
Well I'm sure we all have experienced having a crush on someone. But if they don't feel the same way at least you've had fun and there is always someone else. |
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"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions? "
As I see it there are three possible solutions to this problem.
Carry on and run the risk of feeling something towards a person although love to me takes more than a couple of sexual encounters.
Accept that love and sex are not the same thing, oen fact in casual encounters some people can make sex feel like love but it really isn't.
Stop doing this and avoid the risk altogether. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Not an expert at this advice stuff OP but might I suggest:
-maybe try no kissing
-either you or him bugger off after sex! No cuddling in bed after
-just get on with it, less talk more action
-unless its a booty call no txting or calling
I know must sound like a hush bastard lol but just being honest, if thts what u really want "
No kissing?! |
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"Not an expert at this advice stuff OP but might I suggest:
-maybe try no kissing
-either you or him bugger off after sex! No cuddling in bed after
-just get on with it, less talk more action
-unless its a booty call no txting or calling
I know must sound like a hush bastard lol but just being honest, if thts what u really want
No kissing?!"
To some kissing is a very intimate thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Not an expert at this advice stuff OP but might I suggest:
-maybe try no kissing
-either you or him bugger off after sex! No cuddling in bed after
-just get on with it, less talk more action
-unless its a booty call no txting or calling
I know must sound like a hush bastard lol but just being honest, if thts what u really want
No kissing?!
To some kissing is a very intimate thing"
I love kissing myself & find it very intimate, even more so than actual sex |
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"Ive often wondered when couples invite other men over for 3 somes wether the couple have split up and left for the other guy ??"
Lots of couples who swing have very strong relationships and are able to separate love and sex but it must happen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Not an expert at this advice stuff OP but might I suggest:
-maybe try no kissing
-either you or him bugger off after sex! No cuddling in bed after
-just get on with it, less talk more action
-unless its a booty call no txting or calling
I know must sound like a hush bastard lol but just being honest, if thts what u really want
No kissing?!
To some kissing is a very intimate thing"
I guess so.
I can't imagine not kissing a person I'm sexually attracted to. |
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"Not an expert at this advice stuff OP but might I suggest:
-maybe try no kissing
-either you or him bugger off after sex! No cuddling in bed after
-just get on with it, less talk more action
-unless its a booty call no txting or calling
I know must sound like a hush bastard lol but just being honest, if thts what u really want
No kissing?!
To some kissing is a very intimate thing
I guess so.
I can't imagine not kissing a person I'm sexually attracted to."
we're all different I can't imagine passionately kissing anyone I don't love i.e. Mr N. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Not an expert at this advice stuff OP but might I suggest:
-maybe try no kissing
-either you or him bugger off after sex! No cuddling in bed after
-just get on with it, less talk more action
-unless its a booty call no txting or calling
I know must sound like a hush bastard lol but just being honest, if thts what u really want
No kissing?!
To some kissing is a very intimate thing
I guess so.
I can't imagine not kissing a person I'm sexually attracted to.
we're all different I can't imagine passionately kissing anyone I don't love i.e. Mr N."
Fair enough indeed. |
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"Ive often wondered when couples invite other men over for 3 somes wether the couple have split up and left for the other guy ??"
Very weird.
Why would a night of sex be an indication that it's worth splitting up, with my best friend whom I have so many shared and wonderful experiences with. Who I have loved for years and have a marvelous life with.
A fuck is a fuck. I'm not going to get all romantic over an orgasm, I can do that to myself.
Love is so so so much more than fucking.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive often wondered when couples invite other men over for 3 somes wether the couple have split up and left for the other guy ??
Very weird.
Why would a night of sex be an indication that it's worth splitting up, with my best friend whom I have so many shared and wonderful experiences with. Who I have loved for years and have a marvelous life with.
A fuck is a fuck. I'm not going to get all romantic over an orgasm, I can do that to myself.
Love is so so so much more than fucking.
"
Absolutely. |
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"Ive often wondered when couples invite other men over for 3 somes wether the couple have split up and left for the other guy ??
Very weird.
Why would a night of sex be an indication that it's worth splitting up, with my best friend whom I have so many shared and wonderful experiences with. Who I have loved for years and have a marvelous life with.
A fuck is a fuck. I'm not going to get all romantic over an orgasm, I can do that to myself.
Love is so so so much more than fucking.
"
Yes!! Well said. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ive often wondered when couples invite other men over for 3 somes wether the couple have split up and left for the other guy ??
Very weird.
Why would a night of sex be an indication that it's worth splitting up, with my best friend whom I have so many shared and wonderful experiences with. Who I have loved for years and have a marvelous life with.
A fuck is a fuck. I'm not going to get all romantic over an orgasm, I can do that to myself.
Love is so so so much more than fucking.
"
Yes, however, great sex, for me, doesn't come without liking the person I'm fucking. The two combined are a dangerous combination. So, the answer, for me, is finding the balance between liking them enough to have sex with and liking them too much. |
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"Ive often wondered when couples invite other men over for 3 somes wether the couple have split up and left for the other guy ??
Very weird.
Why would a night of sex be an indication that it's worth splitting up, with my best friend whom I have so many shared and wonderful experiences with. Who I have loved for years and have a marvelous life with.
A fuck is a fuck. I'm not going to get all romantic over an orgasm, I can do that to myself.
Love is so so so much more than fucking.
Yes, however, great sex, for me, doesn't come without liking the person I'm fucking. The two combined are a dangerous combination. So, the answer, for me, is finding the balance between liking them enough to have sex with and liking them too much. "
I see what you mean but love and like have a huge gap between them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ive often wondered when couples invite other men over for 3 somes wether the couple have split up and left for the other guy ??
Very weird.
Why would a night of sex be an indication that it's worth splitting up, with my best friend whom I have so many shared and wonderful experiences with. Who I have loved for years and have a marvelous life with.
A fuck is a fuck. I'm not going to get all romantic over an orgasm, I can do that to myself.
Love is so so so much more than fucking.
Yes, however, great sex, for me, doesn't come without liking the person I'm fucking. The two combined are a dangerous combination. So, the answer, for me, is finding the balance between liking them enough to have sex with and liking them too much.
I see what you mean but love and like have a huge gap between them. "
Clearly for you, not so much for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It can be hard if you are lying there alone with a guy you like in the after glow of an orgasm to keep the emotions from getting involved. That is the way we are built.
I avoid it by meeting no less than 2 guys at a time. The dynamic means it is pure sex and fun and not intimate and emotional. You don't feel inclined to tell a guy you love him when you have another enthusiastically fucking your bum! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It can be hard if you are lying there alone with a guy you like in the after glow of an orgasm to keep the emotions from getting involved. That is the way we are built.
I avoid it by meeting no less than 2 guys at a time. The dynamic means it is pure sex and fun and not intimate and emotional. You don't feel inclined to tell a guy you love him when you have another enthusiastically fucking your bum! "
Laughing! Great advice! You totally get where I'm coming from |
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"
Yes, however, great sex, for me, doesn't come without liking the person I'm fucking. The two combined are a dangerous combination. So, the answer, for me, is finding the balance between liking them enough to have sex with and liking them too much.
I see what you mean but love and like have a huge gap between them.
Clearly for you, not so much for me "
We are all different and I think it depends on your definition of love. |
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I don't see a huge problem unless the man you fall for is married or attached. If you fall in love easy, then you're probably used to the heartache too. I wouldn't stifle your emotions, just go with the flow. But try and avoid meeting married men if this is the case as they rarely leave their wives, whatever bullshit they promise and you will be hurt big time.
So stick to the single guys and if feelings come into it, then at least there's a possibility of getting off first base and maybe even finding a swinging partner.
Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions? "
Only meet them once. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It can be hard if you are lying there alone with a guy you like in the after glow of an orgasm to keep the emotions from getting involved. That is the way we are built.
I avoid it by meeting no less than 2 guys at a time. The dynamic means it is pure sex and fun and not intimate and emotional. You don't feel inclined to tell a guy you love him when you have another enthusiastically fucking your bum!
Laughing! Great advice! You totally get where I'm coming from "
It works i promise you. I used to get very nervous with each 1 to 1 meet as emotion easily crept in.
Group meets are so much more fun and relaxed. When I orgasm and lay there shaking i see the guys high fiveing each other and smiling. Purely physical; no emotion. Lovely |
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It's hard if you are that sort of lady. I have fallen for my fwb, I couldn't stop it, we chat and have great sex. I'm just going with it as life's to short. We are both single, I do sometimes worry I will be hurt.
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"It can be hard if you are lying there alone with a guy you like in the after glow of an orgasm to keep the emotions from getting involved. That is the way we are built.
I avoid it by meeting no less than 2 guys at a time. The dynamic means it is pure sex and fun and not intimate and emotional. You don't feel inclined to tell a guy you love him when you have another enthusiastically fucking your bum! "
Haha, the eloquence made me laugh out loud.
It is very hard to control emotions, and worse still, you dont know if and when things like this are going to happen. Always try and keep clear in your head what the initial objective of the meeting was about |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It can be hard if you are lying there alone with a guy you like in the after glow of an orgasm to keep the emotions from getting involved. That is the way we are built.
I avoid it by meeting no less than 2 guys at a time. The dynamic means it is pure sex and fun and not intimate and emotional. You don't feel inclined to tell a guy you love him when you have another enthusiastically fucking your bum!
Laughing! Great advice! You totally get where I'm coming from
It works i promise you. I used to get very nervous with each 1 to 1 meet as emotion easily crept in.
Group meets are so much more fun and relaxed. When I orgasm and lay there shaking i see the guys high fiveing each other and smiling. Purely physical; no emotion. Lovely "
That is perfect! I better go and change my profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Love can happen why not?
If it does enjoy it. A swinging partner could be just as much fun as swinging alone.
I guess the problem occurs if they don't feel the same way. "
That problem is equally true for the guy you meet in sainsburys.
To stop it put a fixed limit on meets, say 1 or 2 meets and move on to the next.
But you will still be denying yourself opportunity, sometimes the risk is worth it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions? "
If I found myself falling for someone I would run a mile. Im not here to fall for people. Did it once and got severely burned because of it, so nope.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions? "
You can't control those emotions.
If you get hungry, the only way to deal with that is by eating. If you don't eat, you become unhealthy; If you eat too much, you become unhealthy; If you eat the right amount, you're healthy and the feeling of hunger go away. It's not about how you control this natural human reaction, because that's impossible, but it's actually your behaviour in response to it.
The same applies to love. It's a natural human response to having a deep connection with someone. You can't stop it or suppress it, but you can manage it. If you suppress it (don't eat), you'll become sad and unhealthy; If you over-express it (eat too much), you'll become sad and unhealthy; But if you express it in just the right amounts to the right people, you'll be healthy and happy.
You can't do anything about it, so just ride the waves of life! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nothing wrong with falling in love, or falling in lust; I've had some wonderful casual/occasional relationships as a result of initial 'one-off' meets.
I might be male, but wouldn't want to have sex with someone I didn't find either physically, or emotionally attractive, or both! Some sort of desire and 'connection'.
So, if we're going to have sex, it means I already want to see you again (even if we don't get that opportunity).
And yes, you look great! If only I was closer.... |
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By *unguya2zMan
over a year ago
coventry..ish |
I met a lady a few years ago on here,we both fell for each other but we both realised it was doomed.shame really we enjoyed such good times together,.sorry this doesn't help you.Maybe create an extra barrier and only fall for guys like me.sorry xx |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"Not an expert at this advice stuff OP but might I suggest:
-maybe try no kissing
-either you or him bugger off after sex! No cuddling in bed after
-just get on with it, less talk more action
-unless its a booty call no txting or calling
I know must sound like a hush bastard lol but just being honest, if thts what u really want "
so basically your saying use and abuse whilst allowing yourself to be used in the same way .
if that's the case she would be better off going down the male escort route the same for any man looking for the same but in his case a female escort .
if your going to turn your sex life into a business proposition you might as well use a professional for your fun .
feeling should not be avoided because if you do in my opinion you will never learn how to deal with them in a adult way. this will mean you are less likely to hold on to mr or miss right when they come along because you lack the emotional maturity need to sustain a true relationship .
again just my opinion but fear of emotional attachment or emotions in general is rather a unattractive trait if you want my honest opinion.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Not an expert at this advice stuff OP but might I suggest:
-maybe try no kissing
-either you or him bugger off after sex! No cuddling in bed after
-just get on with it, less talk more action
-unless its a booty call no txting or calling
I know must sound like a hush bastard lol but just being honest, if thts what u really want
so basically your saying use and abuse whilst allowing yourself to be used in the same way .
if that's the case she would be better off going down the male escort route the same for any man looking for the same but in his case a female escort .
if your going to turn your sex life into a business proposition you might as well use a professional for your fun .
feeling should not be avoided because if you do in my opinion you will never learn how to deal with them in a adult way. this will mean you are less likely to hold on to mr or miss right when they come along because you lack the emotional maturity need to sustain a true relationship .
again just my opinion but fear of emotional attachment or emotions in general is rather a unattractive trait if you want my honest opinion.
"
Do feel free to block me |
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By *aulusMan
over a year ago
Chester |
"It can be hard if you are lying there alone with a guy you like in the after glow of an orgasm to keep the emotions from getting involved. That is the way we are built.
I avoid it by meeting no less than 2 guys at a time. The dynamic means it is pure sex and fun and not intimate and emotional. You don't feel inclined to tell a guy you love him when you have another enthusiastically fucking your bum! "
I love my OH telling me she loves me whilst she is fucking other guys!!! |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"Not an expert at this advice stuff OP but might I suggest:
-maybe try no kissing
-either you or him bugger off after sex! No cuddling in bed after
-just get on with it, less talk more action
-unless its a booty call no txting or calling
I know must sound like a hush bastard lol but just being honest, if thts what u really want
so basically your saying use and abuse whilst allowing yourself to be used in the same way .
if that's the case she would be better off going down the male escort route the same for any man looking for the same but in his case a female escort .
if your going to turn your sex life into a business proposition you might as well use a professional for your fun .
feeling should not be avoided because if you do in my opinion you will never learn how to deal with them in a adult way. this will mean you are less likely to hold on to mr or miss right when they come along because you lack the emotional maturity need to sustain a true relationship .
again just my opinion but fear of emotional attachment or emotions in general is rather a unattractive trait if you want my honest opinion.
Do feel free to block me "
why would I block you ?
I've seen many of your forum posts and never felt the erg to message you privately .so I'm not attracted to you big deal if you could see me I have no doubt you would most likely not be attracted to me but as your not pestering me for a meet and I'm not pestering you I feel no need to block.
you asked a opinion in a public forum all I'm doing is voicing my true thoughts on what I read theirs nothing personal in what I write nor is any of it designed to curry favour or to upset ether .
just one mans true thoughts nothing more nothing less . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It can be hard if you are lying there alone with a guy you like in the after glow of an orgasm to keep the emotions from getting involved. That is the way we are built.
I avoid it by meeting no less than 2 guys at a time. The dynamic means it is pure sex and fun and not intimate and emotional. You don't feel inclined to tell a guy you love him when you have another enthusiastically fucking your bum!
I love my OH telling me she loves me whilst she is fucking other guys!!! "
But not saying she loves you for the first time.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Not an expert at this advice stuff OP but might I suggest:
-maybe try no kissing
-either you or him bugger off after sex! No cuddling in bed after
-just get on with it, less talk more action
-unless its a booty call no txting or calling
I know must sound like a hush bastard lol but just being honest, if thts what u really want
so basically your saying use and abuse whilst allowing yourself to be used in the same way .
if that's the case she would be better off going down the male escort route the same for any man looking for the same but in his case a female escort .
if your going to turn your sex life into a business proposition you might as well use a professional for your fun .
feeling should not be avoided because if you do in my opinion you will never learn how to deal with them in a adult way. this will mean you are less likely to hold on to mr or miss right when they come along because you lack the emotional maturity need to sustain a true relationship .
again just my opinion but fear of emotional attachment or emotions in general is rather a unattractive trait if you want my honest opinion.
Do feel free to block me
why would I block you ?
I've seen many of your forum posts and never felt the erg to message you privately .so I'm not attracted to you big deal if you could see me I have no doubt you would most likely not be attracted to me but as your not pestering me for a meet and I'm not pestering you I feel no need to block.
you asked a opinion in a public forum all I'm doing is voicing my true thoughts on what I read theirs nothing personal in what I write nor is any of it designed to curry favour or to upset ether .
just one mans true thoughts nothing more nothing less . "
I was being jokey, as you said fear of an emotional attachment is unattractive. I didn't *expect* you to find me attractive, otherwise, though. |
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By *IZZLERSCouple
over a year ago
Halifax |
Sex is a very intimate experience, but even with attraction it is still list.... not love. We think no kissing spoils the sensual experience. You need a partner who you love to swing with, then problem solved xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
From the woman's perspective, it's just about mental focus. It's very hard to control your emotions, and who you fall for. Whether it's appropriate or not.
For the male, you can't stop her falling for you, but you can be straight with her and manage her expectations. I've tended to find all my FWBs who lasted more than a couple of months caught feelings eventually. Some were straight about it, and accepted the contractual terms that invoked (catching feelings ceases the sexual element of the arrangement for me, I stay friends, but I consider casual sex with a person who loves me (that I don't) to be exploitative) some hid it for months and months before it all came out in a big shitstorm.
In either event, communication is key |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions? "
All i know is this. ..we'd better not meet. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions?
don't control them would be my advice .
just control your behaviour due to your natural feelings .
falling in love or deeply caring about someone is not something to be avoided in my opinion .
emotions are part of the joy of life and should be embraced and cherished because with out any emotions especially love one is not living in my opinion one is just existing. "
It took me a long time to realise it but I completely agree with this. There's no point trying to avoid feelings as they'll be there whether you mask them or not. Allow yourself to feel them but do bare in mind that you may still have to control what you do about them if anything. xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions?
All i know is this. ..we'd better not meet. X"
I love your modesty |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions?
All i know is this. ..we'd better not meet. X
I love your modesty "
I had it surgically removed....I enjoyed the sensation, probably, a little too much...  |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
Logic. Good sex and good connection means the oxytocin starts flooding the brain. Go with the feels but keep your logical head on. It shall pass (normally the next time you have good sex and a good connection). If it doesn't pass then it's worth having that conversation. Openly, honestly and with no expectations. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Logic. Good sex and good connection means the oxytocin starts flooding the brain. Go with the feels but keep your logical head on. It shall pass (normally the next time you have good sex and a good connection). If it doesn't pass then it's worth having that conversation. Openly, honestly and with no expectations."
Hmmm,dam it, better only meet you once then. .. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Logic. Good sex and good connection means the oxytocin starts flooding the brain. Go with the feels but keep your logical head on. It shall pass (normally the next time you have good sex and a good connection). If it doesn't pass then it's worth having that conversation. Openly, honestly and with no expectations."
That old saying, best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else, is a good one |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"Logic. Good sex and good connection means the oxytocin starts flooding the brain. Go with the feels but keep your logical head on. It shall pass (normally the next time you have good sex and a good connection). If it doesn't pass then it's worth having that conversation. Openly, honestly and with no expectations."
totally agree the kind of fun I adore releases dopamine serotonin oxytocin as well as endorphins in abundance in the brain both for me and my play partner so one has to expect emotions to arise but once again its how one deals with such emotions that matter not the fact one has them.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You're only human although if your struggling with your emotions on here it met be worth taking a break?
I can understand what you mean though it can be difficult, especially if you find someone you click with just take a step back and remember the nature of the site or you could end up hurt.
Good luck OP sending cwtches and kisses your way xx |
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We met nearly 8 years ago for what was supposed to be some NSA fun - not through any website just a mutual friend getting us together.
Love was NEVER supposed to be on the cards. Thing is we both fell in love hard! We fumbled around avoiding telling each other for a while but when we admitted the truth it was the best feeling ever. We are now married and I honestly couldn't be with a better, more loving and caring person.
D of D&G |
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By *pal2Man
over a year ago
cumbria |
If youre single dont get into exclusive relationships and have others to focus your attentions on.
Dont think you can handle an exclusive relationship when you have fallen for someone in the past as history had a habit of repeating itself as I have found out |
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By *IZZLERSCouple
over a year ago
Halifax |
"We met nearly 8 years ago for what was supposed to be some NSA fun - not through any website just a mutual friend getting us together.
Love was NEVER supposed to be on the cards. Thing is we both fell in love hard! We fumbled around avoiding telling each other for a while but when we admitted the truth it was the best feeling ever. We are now married and I honestly couldn't be with a better, more loving and caring person.
D of D&G"
Love someone with a positive message. One thing is for sure life is always full of surprises and some are wonderful. Our glass is always half full. Some lovely people are on fab xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have loved a few of the guys I have played with regularly...it makes for much better sex...and kink....but have only fallen in love with one...but he wanted to stay single despite his actions so I backed off and started playing again...can't say I'm not still in love with him but...I shan't be letting it happen again  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sorry cant help you, met the love of my life via a meet, been an item ever since and we will grow old and naughtier together.
"
So lucky would love this to happen x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions?
don't control them would be my advice .
just control your behaviour due to your natural feelings .
falling in love or deeply caring about someone is not something to be avoided in my opinion .
emotions are part of the joy of life and should be embraced and cherished because with out any emotions especially love one is not living in my opinion one is just existing.
Yes I do understand that (I'm quite old and have lived) but I don't want to fall in love, not from a meet here "
Not too old, you've still got some sexy years ahead of you  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions?
don't control them would be my advice .
just control your behaviour due to your natural feelings .
falling in love or deeply caring about someone is not something to be avoided in my opinion .
emotions are part of the joy of life and should be embraced and cherished because with out any emotions especially love one is not living in my opinion one is just existing.
Yes I do understand that (I'm quite old and have lived) but I don't want to fall in love, not from a meet here
Not too old, you've still got some sexy years ahead of you "
Oh thanks |
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By *ulataWoman
over a year ago
burgess hill |
I met my boyfriend In a fourgy. We'd been chatting for about three days beforehand. I was already kind of smitten by the time we first met. But when we met for a drink before we just clicked. We've been together since.
Although I'm friendly with the couple from the fourgy I don't have emotions for them. So it's not like I just fall for anyone. But occasionally you will meet someone who's right for you. It doesn't matter if they're someone you met on here if they feel the same way. Just means you have at least one hobby in common. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It is interesting reading the above that so many think the risk of emotion involvement worth taking. It seems to add spice to the meet.
Many appear to test the casual NSA sex partner's suitability using almost the same parameters as they would a proper life partner. Are they in fact subconsciously seeking an emotional relationship? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
i've fell in love with a few guys, it wears off after a few meets. the trick is don't listen to these feelings because they aren't reciprocal, fuck other guys as well. |
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By *IZZLERSCouple
over a year ago
Halifax |
"It is interesting reading the above that so many think the risk of emotion involvement worth taking. It seems to add spice to the meet.
Many appear to test the casual NSA sex partner's suitability using almost the same parameters as they would a proper life partner. Are they in fact subconsciously seeking an emotional relationship? "
But nothing wrong with that. Not all guy's on here are deviant maybe some guys are doing just that? One way around is find a nice couple who are in love and stable, he will stay faithful to his partner so no worry it will be more than nsa sex.... or maybe take the plunge just as you do when you meet someone at the bar! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i've fell in love with a few guys, it wears off after a few meets. the trick is don't listen to these feelings because they aren't reciprocal, fuck other guys as well."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i've fell in love with a few guys, it wears off after a few meets. the trick is don't listen to these feelings because they aren't reciprocal, fuck other guys as well."
Spot on! I like to think it works the other way round too. So easy for a guy to just fall crazily for a nice lady. Happened to me regularly all my life. The only way to deal with it is keep shagging around. Then, speaking as a guy, you realise that, basically, the world is full of wonderful females and how lucky we are as guys to have you ladies to brighten up our worlds. That's why monogamy's pointless! Don't love just one, love everyone who deserves to be loved! Share the love! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
And don't feel the love has to wear off. Looking back, if I met all the women I've loved down the years together in one room would I love them less now? Hell no, I'd love 'em all just as I always did. I'm pretty sure that's true. Sometimes a past gf rings me up and just hearing her voice on the phone just makes me feel like I've won Olympic gold! Several times over! That's love! You can't buy it so just enjoy it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions? "
It's the same for men. I find myself falling in love with gorgoues women nearly every day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It is interesting reading the above that so many think the risk of emotion involvement worth taking. It seems to add spice to the meet.
Many appear to test the casual NSA sex partner's suitability using almost the same parameters as they would a proper life partner. Are they in fact subconsciously seeking an emotional relationship?
But nothing wrong with that. Not all guy's on here are deviant maybe some guys are doing just that? One way around is find a nice couple who are in love and stable, he will stay faithful to his partner so no worry it will be more than nsa sex.... or maybe take the plunge just as you do when you meet someone at the bar!"
The OP wanted emotion free NSA sex but was concerened that she developed feelings. If that is what she wanted, then fine. But it is not so I suggested the criteria for choosing a NSA sex partner may be a cause of the problem.
You suggest loving couples. Personally I don't like the dynamic of MF+F meets. The "loving" wife can all too quickly turn if her "loving" husband is showing too much interest in the female visitor. Then you get messages from him behind her back .......  It's a minefield!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions?
don't control them would be my advice .
just control your behaviour due to your natural feelings .
falling in love or deeply caring about someone is not something to be avoided in my opinion .
emotions are part of the joy of life and should be embraced and cherished because with out any emotions especially love one is not living in my opinion one is just existing. "
Nicely put... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think there are quite a few cynical people on here who think that if you fall in love with someone you will get hurt as it's happened in the past. Well I'd say just go with the flow and meet who you like and just try and keep a open mind. If feelings occur then you need to tell him. Maybe he even feels the same but doesn't know what to say to you.
Love is great. If i hadn't let myself Learn from past relationships I wouldn't have been emotionally ready for the lady who stole my heart and even after 14 years together makes me think I'm the luckiest man alive every day. Guess I'm saying that you just need to go with the flow and if you fall then take a chance |
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By *IZZLERSCouple
over a year ago
Halifax |
"I think there are quite a few cynical people on here who think that if you fall in love with someone you will get hurt as it's happened in the past. Well I'd say just go with the flow and meet who you like and just try and keep a open mind. If feelings occur then you need to tell him. Maybe he even feels the same but doesn't know what to say to you.
Love is great. If i hadn't let myself Learn from past relationships I wouldn't have been emotionally ready for the lady who stole my heart and even after 14 years together makes me think I'm the luckiest man alive every day. Guess I'm saying that you just need to go with the flow and if you fall then take a chance "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Gosh now completely lost Chinese say finding one true love is lucky, finding two is unlikely, finding three probably will never happen.... suppose it depend what you call true love"
i'm ready for number three and it will happen for me. |
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By *IZZLERSCouple
over a year ago
Halifax |
Oooo can send you pm cause it say our sex blocked  but want to share... empty sex is good but sex shared with partner you love and other people....is so hot...especially when you smile each other in morning |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's not love. It's infatuation. Me personally I find infatuation totally intoxicating, and one of the reasons we use this site is so I can that fix. It is easy to allow it to get out of control, and it takes practice. One of the ways I deal with it is always having a few lovers on the go, so that emotion is divided and therefore diluted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Agree with the comment above its not real love its a crush love develops over time i love my wife i woukd never go behind her back or do anything to risk our relationship but i get crushes where i cant get women out of my mind it wears off over time though just enjoy it and accept it as human nature
Mr x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It is interesting reading the above that so many think the risk of emotion involvement worth taking. It seems to add spice to the meet.
Many appear to test the casual NSA sex partner's suitability using almost the same parameters as they would a proper life partner. Are they in fact subconsciously seeking an emotional relationship?
But nothing wrong with that. Not all guy's on here are deviant maybe some guys are doing just that? One way around is find a nice couple who are in love and stable, he will stay faithful to his partner so no worry it will be more than nsa sex.... or maybe take the plunge just as you do when you meet someone at the bar!
The OP wanted emotion free NSA sex but was concerened that she developed feelings. If that is what she wanted, then fine. But it is not so I suggested the criteria for choosing a NSA sex partner may be a cause of the problem.
You suggest loving couples. Personally I don't like the dynamic of MF+F meets. The "loving" wife can all too quickly turn if her "loving" husband is showing too much interest in the female visitor. Then you get messages from him behind her back ....... It's a minefield!!"
spot on |
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The risk of falling for someone who doesn't few that way about you of course exists in real life as well and has and does happen often!
With regular meets with someone off here the key is to try and quickly acertain whether they are going to feel that way too, if it's unlikely they are then an end to those regular meets before the feelings deepen is the only way to avoid later problems I'd say, but as people above have posted it does happen that people do fall for each other on here so it's not impossible to work |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oooo can send you pm cause it say our sex blocked but want to share... empty sex is good but sex shared with partner you love and other people....is so hot...especially when you smile each other in morning"
was that for me?
i'm feeling the same way lately. NSA sex does nothing for me any more. i want to feel something emotionally while i have sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A risk we all take on here I feel.
And tbh.. I think you will have more chance stopping a steam train then your emotions if your heart falls for someone.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions? "
You need just stay very clear about why you've come on here and what you want to get out of it. That could mean cutting ties with someone or taking a break from meeting them to stick to your original reasons for joining...
And yep, you look lovely |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Could certainly see how it would happen.......a guy falling for you. You are stunning!
Totally agree with the above! Stunning and adorable! "
Thank you! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions?
You need just stay very clear about why you've come on here and what you want to get out of it. That could mean cutting ties with someone or taking a break from meeting them to stick to your original reasons for joining...
And yep, you look lovely "
Thank you |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"It's not love. It's infatuation. Me personally I find infatuation totally intoxicating, and one of the reasons we use this site is so I can that fix. It is easy to allow it to get out of control, and it takes practice. One of the ways I deal with it is always having a few lovers on the go, so that emotion is divided and therefore diluted."
What a intelligent post totally agree having a couple of play partners really helps with the emotional side of things with the add bonus of the fact it makes all the crap one sees and faces on sites like this very easy to just let wash over you . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's not love. It's infatuation. Me personally I find infatuation totally intoxicating, and one of the reasons we use this site is so I can that fix. It is easy to allow it to get out of control, and it takes practice. One of the ways I deal with it is always having a few lovers on the go, so that emotion is divided and therefore diluted.
What a intelligent post totally agree having a couple of play partners really helps with the emotional side of things with the add bonus of the fact it makes all the crap one sees and faces on sites like this very easy to just let wash over you ."
Thank you |
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"
Yes I do understand that (I'm quite old and have lived) but I don't want to fall in love, not from a meet here
Then make a rule that u don't meet the same person more than a couple of times go for it I had two ltr on here amazing both of them
I think you're right. Although I've found myself falling for a guy before I've even met him! Ridiculous of me really. Thank you "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions? "
I understand you on this, I'd say recognise your going to feel this way and don't stick with one man |
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"I think there are quite a few cynical people on here who think that if you fall in love with someone you will get hurt as it's happened in the past. Well I'd say just go with the flow and meet who you like and just try and keep a open mind. If feelings occur then you need to tell him. Maybe he even feels the same but doesn't know what to say to you.
Love is great. If i hadn't let myself Learn from past relationships I wouldn't have been emotionally ready for the lady who stole my heart and even after 14 years together makes me think I'm the luckiest man alive every day. Guess I'm saying that you just need to go with the flow and if you fall then take a chance "
Wise words... |
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"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions?
don't control them would be my advice .
just control your behaviour due to your natural feelings .
falling in love or deeply caring about someone is not something to be avoided in my opinion .
emotions are part of the joy of life and should be embraced and cherished because with out any emotions especially love one is not living in my opinion one is just existing.
Yes I do understand that (I'm quite old and have lived) but I don't want to fall in love, not from a meet here "
You can't control whether you fall in love or not, you can only choose to act upon the emotion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions?
don't control them would be my advice .
just control your behaviour due to your natural feelings .
falling in love or deeply caring about someone is not something to be avoided in my opinion .
emotions are part of the joy of life and should be embraced and cherished because with out any emotions especially love one is not living in my opinion one is just existing.
Yes I do understand that (I'm quite old and have lived) but I don't want to fall in love, not from a meet here
You can't control whether you fall in love or not, you can only choose to act upon the emotion."
Somethings really can not be Controlled
Dreams |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions? "
Just don't let it get too dangerous is the most you can hope for when your heart rules your head  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its only ever happened to me once,i still feel the same about him now however he knows and its not mutual  but we still fuck.win/win lol but it cant be avoided/controlled its part of life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions? "
Just have bad sex with me |
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"
Love is great.
If i hadn't let myself learn from past relationships I wouldn't have been emotionally ready for the lady who stole my heart and even after 14 years together makes me think I'm the luckiest man alive every day. Guess I'm saying that you just need to go with the flow and if you fall then take a chance "
So beautifully said ..ohh to have this kind of relationship |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions?
don't control them would be my advice .
just control your behaviour due to your natural feelings .
falling in love or deeply caring about someone is not something to be avoided in my opinion .
emotions are part of the joy of life and should be embraced and cherished because with out any emotions especially love one is not living in my opinion one is just existing.
Yes I do understand that (I'm quite old and have lived) but I don't want to fall in love, not from a meet here "
I'm sure you can choose when you fall in love. |
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"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions?
don't control them would be my advice .
just control your behaviour due to your natural feelings .
falling in love or deeply caring about someone is not something to be avoided in my opinion .
emotions are part of the joy of life and should be embraced and cherished because with out any emotions especially love one is not living in my opinion one is just existing. "
Well said. |
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"
Yes I do understand that (I'm quite old and have lived) but I don't want to fall in love, not from a meet here
Then make a rule that u don't meet the same person more than a couple of times
I think you're right. Although I've found myself falling for a guy before I've even met him! Ridiculous of me really. Thank you "
Not necessarily - sometimes you can identify a deep connection before you meet and it is true. It does help to meet 'unsuitable for a relationship' people too. Some hot young tottie 20 years younger than me is going to thrill me without me getting involved. |
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By *IZZLERSCouple
over a year ago
Halifax |
"Oooo can send you pm cause it say our sex blocked but want to share... empty sex is good but sex shared with partner you love and other people....is so hot...especially when you smile each other in morning
was that for me?
i'm feeling the same way lately. NSA sex does nothing for me any more. i want to feel something emotionally while i have sex."
Yes was for you xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions?
don't control them would be my advice .
just control your behaviour due to your natural feelings .
falling in love or deeply caring about someone is not something to be avoided in my opinion .
emotions are part of the joy of life and should be embraced and cherished because with out any emotions especially love one is not living in my opinion one is just existing. "
|
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"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions? "
Its scientifically generic
That most females will form a bond with someone once they orgasm .and are driven by emotions they are more prone to confuse lust with love. Hence all jealousy etc on this site .
Men however have no connection between sex orgasms n love
Infact a man can love an unattractive person they dont have sex with if they get them emotionally!! ..
Men are sexually driven visually
Females by words n feelings (any player knows that )
So either think like a man
Dont orgasm
Or be logical..
Unless his dining wineing and taking you to his mother its nsa fun and no matter what he says no more xx
If he says it just fun and you just hook up thats all it is .
Great sex is great if you want love its very rare to find in this world . But not impossible x
Good luck xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So OP, masses of opinions from "fall in love" to "avoid intimacy by group fucking".
Do you know which you will choose? I guess you already know why you don't want to feel emotionally involved but have not said. |
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By *manda63Woman
over a year ago
Southampton |
"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions? "
Falling for someone on here hurts when they don't return the feelings. Trying my best not to let it happen again but it's really difficult. (F) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions?
Its scientifically generic
That most females will form a bond with someone once they orgasm .and are driven by emotions they are more prone to confuse lust with love. Hence all jealousy etc on this site .
Men however have no connection between sex orgasms n love
Infact a man can love an unattractive person they dont have sex with if they get them emotionally!! ..
Men are sexually driven visually
Females by words n feelings (any player knows that )
So either think like a man
Dont orgasm
Or be logical..
Unless his dining wineing and taking you to his mother its nsa fun and no matter what he says no more xx
If he says it just fun and you just hook up thats all it is .
Great sex is great if you want love its very rare to find in this world . But not impossible x
Good luck xxxx "
Well based on the above I must be very female.
But to add another 0.02 for the OP, even though there is an unreality to swinging and Fab and partly it is fantasy life that can be compartmentalised, it is still real life. It is human beings making contact with each other.
You may not want to get emotionally involved with someone on Fab, however you should ask yourself the question whether it is possible that you have actually met your true soul mate in an unlikely way. |
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I have to say I don't get it. Love has never been about sex or attraction for me.
The love part has always been about friendship, trust, shared connections.
I knew I wanted to be friends with my wife way before I knew we wanted to be a long term sexual partners. Ie. Married. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions? "
Why do you want to control them? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So OP, masses of opinions from "fall in love" to "avoid intimacy by group fucking".
Do you know which you will choose? I guess you already know why you don't want to feel emotionally involved but have not said. "
Group fucking all the way. I think you're the only one in this thread who's really understood
As for the why, it's not terribly interesting. |
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Trouble is if you met someone like I did very recently broke up, they manipulate you into making you believe they love you and make sure you don't meet anyone else so you think OK I'm happy with that and you get same feelings for them but then you realise nothing adds up when she tells you things and she trips up and makes mistakes and lie after lie comes in and you know she cheats on you cause you get all the evidence and shove it down their throat and they deny it. And you know she has a string of blokes on here and else where And start saying its you who cheats.
So my point is, is it love or minipulation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Trouble is if you met someone like I did very recently broke up, they manipulate you into making you believe they love you and make sure you don't meet anyone else so you think OK I'm happy with that and you get same feelings for them but then you realise nothing adds up when she tells you things and she trips up and makes mistakes and lie after lie comes in and you know she cheats on you cause you get all the evidence and shove it down their throat and they deny it. And you know she has a string of blokes on here and else where And start saying its you who cheats.
So my point is, is it love or minipulation."
Sounds like someone not capable of love. They do exist. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes it does happen, you get to meet someone a few times, stay overnight, then a few nights. Then start having normal but sexy relationship and love comes into it. But because you met on here, and sometimes you cant be with them they think you played away when in reality you didn't. The break up occurs with the hurt that happens whether you met on here or not! So yeah like normal life, love happens on here! "
Very true words. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes it does happen, you get to meet someone a few times, stay overnight, then a few nights. Then start having normal but sexy relationship and love comes into it. But because you met on here, and sometimes you cant be with them they think you played away when in reality you didn't. The break up occurs with the hurt that happens whether you met on here or not! So yeah like normal life, love happens on here!
Very true words."
Thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well there are a few options. Not right or wrong one's just options.
Never meet the same guy twice.
Or just meet the guy's you don't have any emotional feeling for who do nothing for you emotionally, and just fuck them.
Meet couples only.
Meet female's only.
Take a vow of celibacy and become a nun.
Buy a really good dildo.
Only meet at club's.
Personally I don't think there is anything you can do about it, other than learning to be strong enough to walk away and not see that person again as soon as the twinge of anything other than lust creeps in.
Difficult I know.
Sorry can't be more help.
Guess it's really down to what you really want.
Good sex
Or good sex and a relationship?
Of course the other question is are those feelings reciprocated, does he feel the same.
Coz if it's a one way thing, it could get really akward. |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions? "
realise that love comes from within and if free from expectation can give you unconditional joy..i love, that does not mean i expect to be loved back, i choose to love cos loving makes me happy...that's a lesson i learnt with an ex i couldn't stop loving, then i realised i didn't have to..i could keep loving, but release any expectation..its revolutionised my life into the unconditional, the greatest gift of love he could have given me, in hindsight..
falling in love is based on the future and what could be..stay in the present moment and be totally happy with what you have right now..dont go off into assumption and fantasy. Today i am thankful for the moment and gift given to me, no regrets, i choose to feel this, brings back to reality and self control, with freedom of joy for yourself, not hinged on anyone else x |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"I think like a lot of women, I sometimes find it hard to separate emotions from sex. Not all the time, sometimes I have no problem, but if I actually like the man and the sex is good, it's probably going to happen.
Any advice on controlling those emotions? realise that love comes from within and if free from expectation can give you unconditional joy..i love, that does not mean i expect to be loved back, i choose to love cos loving makes me happy...that's a lesson i learnt with an ex i couldn't stop loving, then i realised i didn't have to..i could keep loving, but release any expectation..its revolutionised my life into the unconditional, the greatest gift of love he could have given me, in hindsight..
falling in love is based on the future and what could be..stay in the present moment and be totally happy with what you have right now..dont go off into assumption and fantasy. Today i am thankful for the moment and gift given to me, no regrets, i choose to feel this, brings back to reality and self control, with freedom of joy for yourself, not hinged on anyone else x"
Exactly |
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I'm not sure whether I am lucky or sad as I don't get true love feelings for men I meet, including my ex of 22 years.
I can get quite fond of someone and look forward with great anticipation to seeing them but that's it.
I had a sort of relationship on here and I did love him a bit but only like I love my best friends. I ended it and moved on.
The only advice I can give is to never expect anything in return from someone else. If they don't give it then accept it. If they do give it then all is great
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think firstly a person should work out for themselves what is they're actually feeling, love can be so easily confused with other things, love, care, envy, the list goes on and on I guess.
If a person truly loves another surely that love would never die ?
Iv had meets in the past where a woman has said she loved me straight after or during sex, Iv also had one tell me they love me before I had even met them, I was slightly confused how someone could come to the love conglusion so Damb early ?
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"Iv had meets in the past where a woman has said she loved me straight after or during sex, Iv also had one tell me they love me before I had even met them, I was slightly confused how someone could come to the love conglusion so Damb early ?
"
These are known as 'nutjobs' |
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By *nigmatic1Woman
over a year ago
A seaside town near you! |
"Iv had meets in the past where a woman has said she loved me straight after or during sex, Iv also had one tell me they love me before I had even met them, I was slightly confused how someone could come to the love conglusion so Damb early ?
These are known as 'nutjobs'"
Definitely |
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I think some of us have baggage from our past marriage break ups and find it hard to let go of the hurt, we try to be cold and not caring on here but the reality is we all yern for someone to love and be loved but past hurt gets in the way of true happiness so we try to jump at an opportunity to think is this love I am experiencing or just wishful thinking. |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"Iv had meets in the past where a woman has said she loved me straight after or during sex, Iv also had one tell me they love me before I had even met them, I was slightly confused how someone could come to the love conglusion so Damb early ?
These are known as 'nutjobs'"
how very dismissive of someone elses feelings..maybe thats what you do to your own? (and why you dont feel youve felt love..just a suggestion, as you mentioned it)hugs s x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Iv had meets in the past where a woman has said she loved me straight after or during sex, Iv also had one tell me they love me before I had even met them, I was slightly confused how someone could come to the love conglusion so Damb early ?
These are known as 'nutjobs'"
Nothing at all to do with me maybe being a lovable guy ?
Ah well ya win some and ya do infact loose some I guess
Coffee I need coffee |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Iv had meets in the past where a woman has said she loved me straight after or during sex, Iv also had one tell me they love me before I had even met them, I was slightly confused how someone could come to the love conglusion so Damb early ?
These are known as 'nutjobs'
Nothing at all to do with me maybe being a lovable guy ?
Ah well ya win some and ya do infact loose some I guess
Coffee I need coffee "
And pizza I also need pizza
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