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dom master help needed
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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hiya i have never thought off myself as being dom but i have recently started to by a master to a very naughty lady , she seems to enjoy this every so much and me likewise looking to learn off other doms out there , she isnt in to swinging yet i hope to bring it up very soon , any help will be welcomed , |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me being s Dom is about having control over a sub but only to the extent that she is willing to sumbit
So she needs to feel safe first and foremost. I'd suggest trying a couples only evening at a club - tends to be less pressure and you can watch or put on a show before swapping |
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dont just think that being a Dom is all about calling a woman 'bitch' and 'slut', its far more complicated than that
i constantly have guys thinking they can tell me what to do once i mention being a sub and it just puts me off.
Being a Dom is more about getting into the subs mind |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"dont just think that being a Dom is all about calling a woman 'bitch' and 'slut', its far more complicated than that
i constantly have guys thinking they can tell me what to do once i mention being a sub and it just puts me off.
Being a Dom is more about getting into the subs mind"
It works in reverse too. I get men asking me if I'll beat them and use a strap on!  I don't even bother replying as they obviously don't have a clue! |
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It depends what you want,just some fun role play or a more serious D/s relationship.Everyone has to find their own way to Dom,and some ppl just arent Dom,no matter what.
IMO the 3 most important things are;
Communication,subs usually want to be pushed,you need to listen to what they want,not just think about what you want.
Respect,it should be mutual,a sub is not a doormat.A good Domme friend of mine has this quote on her website.
"Without your Dominance i cannot submit,without my submission you cannot Dominate,in this we are equals"
Learning,Dom/sub relationship can take you to new places,be willing to learn.If you want to get into SnM remember it can be dangerous,but there are plenty of events u can go to where ppl will teach newbies.Exploring fantasies can lead to self knowledge too,be prepared for that.
But most of all have fun!If it stops being fun,its not worth it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You say that she snjoys it but don;t mention whether you do?
Do you? Is it something that comes naturally to you? I have heard countless times fromn sub women I know that there is nothing worse than a man being dom just because it is what they want. As already said being a dom is primarily (to me at least) about getting inside your sub's head and unless it comes natural to you that won't happen.
That's not meant to be critical btw, I was in my 30's before I discovered I was a dom and like you I was introduced to it by a girl I was seeing having nevcer explored it before.
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"And listen to the post from jemima puddlefuck. Very wise words. "
Ty,and yes,are you Dom because it is you is vital,kev could Dom me to please me,but that would be awful.
D/s is as much mental as physical,perhaps more.You need to be happy with doing that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Ty,and yes,are you Dom because it is you is vital,kev could Dom me to please me,but that would be awful.
D/s is as much mental as physical,perhaps more.You need to be happy with doing that."
Miss Jemima, your the voice of reason just lately lol
I agree here about it being more mental.. I can be sexually dominated by a playmate, but they would never mentally dominate me.. Thats for my Master.. and most men just wouldnt have the aptitude to manage to dominate me..
Although,It sounds like its more a play situation than a serious power exchange.. although she obviously likes the idea of him being in control.. ( which I can understand)
I love knowing that things are picked out for me.. even down to who and when I play.. (although I get to vet people )
Katie, with her Masters consent. x |
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"
Ty,and yes,are you Dom because it is you is vital,kev could Dom me to please me,but that would be awful.
D/s is as much mental as physical,perhaps more.You need to be happy with doing that.
Miss Jemima, your the voice of reason just lately lol
I agree here about it being more mental.. I can be sexually dominated by a playmate, but they would never mentally dominate me.. Thats for my Master.. and most men just wouldnt have the aptitude to manage to dominate me..
Although,It sounds like its more a play situation than a serious power exchange.. although she obviously likes the idea of him being in control.. ( which I can understand)
I love knowing that things are picked out for me.. even down to who and when I play.. (although I get to vet people )
Katie, with her Masters consent. x"
Miss jemima! 
Stop it you bad girl or i WILL ask permission to explore my Domme side!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Miss jemima!
Stop it you bad girl or i WILL ask permission to explore my Domme side! "
haha... You maybe allowed.. but it takes my Masters permission for anyone else to ever dominate me.. 
Katie, with her masters consent. |
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"
Miss jemima!
Stop it you bad girl or i WILL ask permission to explore my Domme side!
haha... You maybe allowed.. but it takes my Masters permission for anyone else to ever dominate me..
Katie, with her masters consent. "
Total hijack but thats why i could top,and may learn to use the equipment used on me,but could never Domme,it's not in my nature,or what i desire.Because of the mental side we both mentioned. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"]great advise i think its just going to be a fun role , but its another thing ticked off on lifes great adventure "
Its about knowing how to fulfil and expand your slaves needs whilst making it look like you are fulfilling your own.
The reality of the D/s relationship is that the dom is very much the slave to the subs needs, but it's a reversal roleplay.
it is not like the "rough porn" people watch these days, at all. |
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"noone has made me submit yet lol
i dont think im a sub lol"
It' not about being made to submit,like others have said it starts in the mind.my Master has me in a place where submission is what i desire.
But then no one says everyone ha to be into D/s. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"noone has made me submit yet lol
i dont think im a sub lol
It' not about being made to submit,like others have said it starts in the mind.my Master has me in a place where submission is what i desire.
But then no one says everyone ha to be into D/s."
I laughed at the idea of submission not that long back... and now look at me.. Happily Owned, Collared, and in a TPE relationship that fulfils me in a way I could never have imagined.. :D
Funny the way things happen.
katie. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"noone has made me submit yet lol
i dont think im a sub lol"
If you have to be made, or find the idea of being made, lol worthy, then it's not for you... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"noone has made me submit yet lol
i dont think im a sub lol
If you have to be made, or find the idea of being made, lol worthy, then it's not for you..."
I would disagree... I am not submissive, yet I am totally submissive to my Master.. when I was first learning about my Masters previous relationships and that he had them as Slaves.. I sniggered..and thought what sort of woman would allow a man to dictate to them like that..
well something obviously changed somewhere, and I now get totally why, the power exchange.. the trust, the love, the total commitment and the feeling of freedom that submitting so totally gives.. I do get it..
But it is not for all..
Katie. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think some people get confused between role playing "at being D/s".
My friend suggested restraining, gagging and blindfolding me as I do for him to experience the sheer pleasure of allowing someone you trust to explore your body.
Typing this I've come over in a cold sweat again. There's a part of me that wants to experience it - if only once, but the thought of giving control to another person, even someone I trust is not getting me excited but nervous. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i have vivid thoughts fantasy with have me being a sub and doing as my master would want
yet in reality i havent had it come true as maybe im scared as i would like it  |
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