FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Is it a turn off for you women?
Is it a turn off for you women?
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Okay so I've been talking to this sexy lady for some time now. She's got a great body and she supports Liverpool fc (my team too). So conversation are not that sexual more banter. But she's been hinting and probing for a meet being very flirtatious. we sent pics in bed the other night and I sent her a picture of my tongue and said in the caption I love when women cum on my tongue. From then she's been a bit reserved and not as keen as before. My female mate said she threw up in her mouth when she heard that and said its not sexy. I was confused I thought women liked that type of thing. What do you women have to say on this matter isit sexy to hear that or not? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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you said when **women** cum on your tongue. it's not vey personal that.
might have been better to word it is i'd love to *insert something about her being sexually sorted out here* |
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"you said when **women** cum on your tongue. it's not vey personal that.
might have been better to word it is i'd love to *insert something about her being sexually sorted out here*"
I did afterwards I asked how sexy she is and how I'd lick her body head to toe. Now she wants to go for a social now. (Which I haven't got a problem with) but before she was talking about how she would play with me now it's a social |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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social usually means they might not want to play but if she said that then i guess she meant that.
yeah but afterwards it's a bit late then,, you've already said the thing that puts you off. you could have come across as not fussy to her by saying women. although you'd have to ask her to be sure but that's how i would feel myself, like they aren't that fussy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me personally things like that out me off a guy. I wouldn't meet him, so maybe the fact she wants a social is a good thing. Means she is interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It may be my lack of sleep but I don't see what's wrong here?
Is it that he should have made his statement more singular to the lady involved?
It's a swinging site, no-one can believe that we're all exclusive swinging virgins surely?
Again may be my lack of working brain cells  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It may be my lack of sleep but I don't see what's wrong here?
Is it that he should have made his statement more singular to the lady involved?
It's a swinging site, no-one can believe that we're all exclusive swinging virgins surely?
Again may be my lack of working brain cells "
for me i don't wanna feel like i could be just anyone when he's fantasising about sexual stuff that's supposed to be about me.
like i said though he;d have to ask her why she didn't like what he said. he should ask after they've fucked (if they do). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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sex talk is a massive turn off for us and 9 times out of 10 comes from the wankers wanking on the other end of the message lol sorry blunt... but its ok to talk about sex |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
Op like others have said it could have been your wording even in the title for this post you have " you women " as if women on these sites are different .
You could have said something like this is my tongue it gets very excited when I'm talking to you and thinking about you .
Instead you made it sound like she would just be another notch on your tongues bed post .
As others have said that may be the reality of the swinging world but there's no need to remind anyone of that fact . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't see what was wrong with what you said. It wouldn't bother me (the fem) at all.
Is she is bothered cus it implies you have met others then that seems odd cus it's a swinging site so surely that's the aim of it all. |
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I much prefer banter tbh
I don't go for graphic that's a turn off (unless we are already seeing each other on a regular basis then it can work) but either way it should still be personal not worded like your talking to a group of women :/
I think you need to breath a sigh of relief that you are still meeting she could have just stopped talking (even if it is now a social - there's a lot to be said for them! )
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If the text conversation was sexually charged and we were going down the road of having sexual banter, I would have no problem with that statement. Not partial to a picture of a tongue though, but not a deal breaker |
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"Okay so I've been talking to this sexy lady for some time now. She's got a great body and she supports Liverpool fc (my team too). So conversation are not that sexual more banter. But she's been hinting and probing for a meet being very flirtatious. we sent pics in bed the other night and I sent her a picture of my tongue and said in the caption I love when women cum on my tongue. From then she's been a bit reserved and not as keen as before. My female mate said she threw up in her mouth when she heard that and said its not sexy. I was confused I thought women liked that type of thing. What do you women have to say on this matter isit sexy to hear that or not?"
We're all different and that might be your problem, you're assuming we're all the same. I do think though that if I was texting from bed I would expect the conversation to turn sexual or at least wouldn't be surprised if it did.
Out of interest did you strike up a conversation on fab with this lady, might she read the forums? |
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"It may be my lack of sleep but I don't see what's wrong here?
Is it that he should have made his statement more singular to the lady involved?
It's a swinging site, no-one can believe that we're all exclusive swinging virgins surely?
Again may be my lack of working brain cells "
Pretty much my thought. I wouldn't engage in loads of dirty talk/picture swapping as I prefer action to talk. The fact he's worried he did something wrong suggests he is a conscientious guy which is great. Go for the social. Always be polite and respectful, but we aren't here looking for life partners or to be incredibly precious about ourselves. |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"Okay so I've been talking to this sexy lady for some time now. She's got a great body and she supports Liverpool fc (my team too). So conversation are not that sexual more banter. But she's been hinting and probing for a meet being very flirtatious. we sent pics in bed the other night and I sent her a picture of my tongue and said in the caption I love when women cum on my tongue. From then she's been a bit reserved and not as keen as before. My female mate said she threw up in her mouth when she heard that and said its not sexy. I was confused I thought women liked that type of thing. What do you women have to say on this matter isit sexy to hear that or not?"
dont like dirty talk particularly... especially if i havent met them yet..i feel uncomfortable with that, as i might not play with them at all, so id think id be leading them on..and i dont like doing that...that's my take on it..id be saving that for someone i had played with and wanted to play with again ..just my two pennyworth..ease off the pressure is my suggestion x
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"Op like others have said it could have been your wording even in the title for this post you have " you women " as if women on these sites are different .
You could have said something like this is my tongue it gets very excited when I'm talking to you and thinking about you .
Instead you made it sound like she would just be another notch on your tongues bed post .
As others have said that may be the reality of the swinging world but there's no need to remind anyone of that fact . "
Succinctly put! X  |
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"It may be my lack of sleep but I don't see what's wrong here?
Is it that he should have made his statement more singular to the lady involved?
It's a swinging site, no-one can believe that we're all exclusive swinging virgins surely?
Again may be my lack of working brain cells "
Exactly how I saw this. But I just wanted a woman's opinion. Is hearing that a turn off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Better option would have been wish you were here.But in all seriousness lots of women like dirty talk almost all but you need to find the right way to go about it.
Example don't say i would love to ram my hard cock up your ass as some women don't like anal also maybe she does not like oral or maybe she has never came or is not as experienced as yourself
and unless you no the women for a long time never use the word cunt keep away from it unless she ever mention it or it says on her profile.
And
Mentioning past lovers etc or past one night stands as makes the women think that could be her you talk about in the future.
Women are very different from us men if you can make a women smile laug and play with her hair odds on you will be leaving with them.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It may be my lack of sleep but I don't see what's wrong here?
Is it that he should have made his statement more singular to the lady involved?
It's a swinging site, no-one can believe that we're all exclusive swinging virgins surely?
Again may be my lack of working brain cells
Exactly how I saw this. But I just wanted a woman's opinion. Is hearing that a turn off"
For this woman I might have found it a bit crude, it's hard to describe but it can be a simple sentence and its wording and I can go from interested to massive turn off |
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Well I have a meet with her on Sunday socially. I will definitely take on board everyone's feedback. I like this woman and she flirted a lot unlike me but I didn't wanna seem uninterested why I sent the caption and pic. She still wants to see me but it's a social so we will see. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I try and avoid sex chat. Firstly, because it does noting for me. Secondly because if you fail to read soneones mind or if one word doesn't fit in exactly with whatever they are thinking, then 9 times out of 10, the conversation ends.
That's all fine, but I do find it weird. And a bit rude really. I do love my block button.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe she is over thinking...could she perhaps be thinking by cum over your tongue you meant squirt? If so maybe she doesn't squirt and is thinking she could let you down? Just a different way of looking at it  not really very helpful for you though! Sorry |
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"Maybe she is over thinking...could she perhaps be thinking by cum over your tongue you meant squirt? If so maybe she doesn't squirt and is thinking she could let you down? Just a different way of looking at it not really very helpful for you though! Sorry"
This has made me feel allot made me feel at ease now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No sex chat for us in advance of a meet, s out the fantasists and dreamers, but each to there own
OP ask the lady outright if there is an issue over your comments, if there is and it's not an easy resolution just move on xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I try and avoid sex chat. Firstly, because it does noting for me. Secondly because if you fail to read soneones mind or if one word doesn't fit in exactly with whatever they are thinking, then 9 times out of 10, the conversation ends.
That's all fine, but I do find it weird. And a bit rude really. I do love my block button.
"
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"No sex chat for us in advance of a meet, s out the fantasists and dreamers, but each to there own
OP ask the lady outright if there is an issue over your comments, if there is and it's not an easy resolution just move on xx"
I have done. HAHA she admitted that she was overly turnt on by it but didn't want to seem too keen on it and boosting my ego. She wants to meet but also taking it slow because she wants to see if i am not a dick in person. So I was worried for no reason haha. But thank you everyone. Next time won't listen to my female mate haha |
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By *issy louWoman
over a year ago
Staffordshire Moorlands |
"you said when **women** cum on your tongue. it's not vey personal that.
might have been better to word it is i'd love to *insert something about her being sexually sorted out here*
I did afterwards I asked how sexy she is and how I'd lick her body head to toe. Now she wants to go for a social now. (Which I haven't got a problem with) but before she was talking about how she would play with me now it's a social "
A word of warning....don't offer to lick her head to toe in Costa - it may be frowned upon!! Seriously tho, offering to lick someone head to toe is not something I would be turned on by, can you imagine how boring it would be when you got to somewhere like the elbows! I would be like 'bloody hell, are you still at that licking? Hurry up!" Yawn!  |
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"Well I have a meet with her on Sunday socially. I will definitely take on board everyone's feedback. I like this woman and she flirted a lot unlike me but I didn't wanna seem uninterested why I sent the caption and pic. She still wants to see me but it's a social so we will see. "
Good luck today! |
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Another possible angle on this....
When one of you (but not both) is being quite explicitly sexual about what might happen on a social meet, you still have the "will we, won't we?" aspect to it. That wonderful anticipation and tension about whether you'll click and if things will stat to go further. Both of you can play on that during the meet.
When you've both started being overtly explicit about what you'd like to do, it sets the expectation in a different place. You're expecting your social to be the precursor to sex, as you've both already got past the "will we?" phase.
I always try to keep that element of "this is just a social - to see how it goes".
Anyhow - sounds like you're over the hiccup. Let us know how today goes (but wait until afterwards... We don't need a running commentary!!)
Dan
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"Well I have a meet with her on Sunday socially. I will definitely take on board everyone's feedback. I like this woman and she flirted a lot unlike me but I didn't wanna seem uninterested why I sent the caption and pic. She still wants to see me but it's a social so we will see.
Good luck today!"
Went great thank you. Think was way too excited over the liverpool win to think about anything sexual. She enjoyed herself. We had a cheeky kiss but I respected her wishes and we never came back to mine but I am sure next meet will get more physically hehe |
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