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Polygamous Relationship
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Has anyone tried one and did it work? I'd like to meet a couple that i could be part of their relationship. But can it work or does one part of the couple get jealous? Can a couple have a FWB I guess is what I mean? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Polygamous? Are you sure that you mean that?
So you're hoping to find a willing existing couple where you can guarantee falling in love with both of them, and both of them falling in love with you???
We set some hard targets on Fab - but that's a really tall order! Best of luck...
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"Has anyone tried one and did it work? I'd like to meet a couple that i could be part of their relationship. But can it work or does one part of the couple get jealous? Can a couple have a FWB I guess is what I mean? "
This would be polyamory. Polygamy would be if you wanted to be married to the couple as well.
But yes, polyamory can and does work. The best relationship I had was non-monogamous and it ended for entirely unrelated reasons. I've considered myself non-monogamous ever since. |
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I briefly dated a woman in poly relationship. It seemed to work well for her. I was open to concept. In the end there wasnt the chemistry after a couple of dates. Plus things did seem a little selfish to me. She had three other straight partners. None of which saw other women. I know who am I to judge if they are all happy but she definitely seemed to be getting a far better deal out of it. But I do like the idea that people can freely share a loving relationship within a small group rather than restricting to an exclusive club of two. I don't see why we all have to follow the same conventions on relationships. But having said that I adds many extra dimensions of possibilities and also many extra potential difficulties. So I would say it's a difficult path to choose if you choose it. It seems to me that a lot of the poly hippy relationships of the 60s and 70s seemed to end in tears, but then the same could be argued for conventional relationships. |
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"I briefly dated a woman in poly relationship. It seemed to work well for her. I was open to concept. In the end there wasnt the chemistry after a couple of dates. Plus things did seem a little selfish to me. She had three other straight partners. None of which saw other women. I know who am I to judge if they are all happy but she definitely seemed to be getting a far better deal out of it. But I do like the idea that people can freely share a loving relationship within a small group rather than restricting to an exclusive club of two. I don't see why we all have to follow the same conventions on relationships. But having said that I adds many extra dimensions of possibilities and also many extra potential difficulties. So I would say it's a difficult path to choose if you choose it. It seems to me that a lot of the poly hippy relationships of the 60s and 70s seemed to end in tears, but then the same could be argued for conventional relationships."
It's very true that it can potentially add extra strain and difficulties to a relationship. Communication is absolutely vital amongst everyone involved, otherwise it likely won't work. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think this can work. I had a relationship with two different women earlier in the year. We even dicussed that we were to all meet and hang out. Nor for 3sums and stuff. Just so that thy could become friends and break down that barrier. It ended with one as she found someone she wanted to be monogamous with. Other wise I might have still been seeing them both. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I briefly dated a woman in poly relationship. It seemed to work well for her. I was open to concept. In the end there wasnt the chemistry after a couple of dates. Plus things did seem a little selfish to me. She had three other straight partners. None of which saw other women. I know who am I to judge if they are all happy but she definitely seemed to be getting a far better deal out of it. But I do like the idea that people can freely share a loving relationship within a small group rather than restricting to an exclusive club of two. I don't see why we all have to follow the same conventions on relationships. But having said that I adds many extra dimensions of possibilities and also many extra potential difficulties. So I would say it's a difficult path to choose if you choose it. It seems to me that a lot of the poly hippy relationships of the 60s and 70s seemed to end in tears, but then the same could be argued for conventional relationships."
Christ on a bike, that just sounds exhausting 
Mrs x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I briefly dated a woman in poly relationship. It seemed to work well for her. I was open to concept. In the end there wasnt the chemistry after a couple of dates. Plus things did seem a little selfish to me. She had three other straight partners. None of which saw other women. I know who am I to judge if they are all happy but she definitely seemed to be getting a far better deal out of it. But I do like the idea that people can freely share a loving relationship within a small group rather than restricting to an exclusive club of two. I don't see why we all have to follow the same conventions on relationships. But having said that I adds many extra dimensions of possibilities and also many extra potential difficulties. So I would say it's a difficult path to choose if you choose it. It seems to me that a lot of the poly hippy relationships of the 60s and 70s seemed to end in tears, but then the same could be argued for conventional relationships."
But presumably nothing was to stop them seeing other women if they chose to? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm poly and have found it does work. The key is to be fully open with who your seeing and don't hide anything. The person your with at that time is number one. Plus give everyone equal time which can be hard in some cases. |
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"I briefly dated a woman in poly relationship. It seemed to work well for her. I was open to concept. In the end there wasnt the chemistry after a couple of dates. Plus things did seem a little selfish to me. She had three other straight partners. None of which saw other women. I know who am I to judge if they are all happy but she definitely seemed to be getting a far better deal out of it. But I do like the idea that people can freely share a loving relationship within a small group rather than restricting to an exclusive club of two. I don't see why we all have to follow the same conventions on relationships. But having said that I adds many extra dimensions of possibilities and also many extra potential difficulties. So I would say it's a difficult path to choose if you choose it. It seems to me that a lot of the poly hippy relationships of the 60s and 70s seemed to end in tears, but then the same could be argued for conventional relationships.
But presumably nothing was to stop them seeing other women if they chose to?"
I don't know. I suppose in theory there was nothing stopping them. But I just got the impression that in reality she wouldn't be happy with that. Like I said I only went on a couple of dates with her but there was something about her I couldn't put my finger on. On face value she was really free and liberal but my gut was saying something else. She always talked about what these men were doing for her and never much talk of what she did for them. But of course I never got to know them, it was just what my gut was saying. |
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I have met a lot of people who say they are poly. But normally its a couple who have a third party or another couple as their additional to the relationship. This setup works well for a few months/years then they find another party to join up with. The couple in essence stay together but mix up the additional party every now and then.
Has anyone ever met a poly group of 3 or more people who have all been together for 30 plus years?
This is what I'd call successful.
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That's a fair point. I can't can be easy keeping every thing equal. There must often be thar feeling that one part of the group is closer than the other. It's like when you think of your group of friends. There is always some that are that little closer and share a little more with each other. I am not selfish or jealous by nature. But I suspect I you were the one who felt slightly on the outside that would really start to hurt as the years go on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have met a lot of people who say they are poly. But normally its a couple who have a third party or another couple as their additional to the relationship. This setup works well for a few months/years then they find another party to join up with. The couple in essence stay together but mix up the additional party every now and then.
Has anyone ever met a poly group of 3 or more people who have all been together for 30 plus years?
This is what I'd call successful.
"
Like anything, it can work for some people but there are very few cultures in the world where it works on any kind of scale. Polygamy and monogamy account for over 99% of world cultures. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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An alternative view without rose coloured glasses......
You meet them, often, you really like each other and the friendship eventually turns into strong emotional ties.
One day the wife stops finding the sight of her husband kissing, caressing and making love to you a turn on and starts to feel threatened.
Or the husband finds himself excluded from your intense lesbian activities and views you as a threat beliving you are taking his wife away.
Then the excrement hits the fan and you wonder how you ever got into this situation. YOU may feel fine about it but you have disturbed their marital balance and are about to lose two close friends and be on your own again. But it may never happen ...... |
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