FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > misconduct from a event host

misconduct from a event host

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

who would you report this too.. recently had it with a hostess who was passing messages about where i was or wasn't going to another fab member even though id asked to be on a private list..

thanks

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *aptivatingWoman over a year ago

Chester

I'd speak to them directly about it and seriously consider if I was going back, it's not acceptable.

No idea if there's much else you could do, hopefully someone more knowledgeable on the subject will give you some more advice. Can I ask though, was it held at a club or was it private?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *edheadsruleCouple over a year ago

lancashire

Personally I'd name and shame her, as an event host discretion is expected, I'd certainly want to know if a host wasn't going to be discrete if I was wanting to be myself

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

dont want to name and shame but pretty pissed off.. was at a club.. i never went in the end to the event

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *aptivatingWoman over a year ago

Chester

Can you take it to the club owner/manager, or is that the person in question?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Can you take it to the club owner/manager, or is that the person in question?

X"
no they are not the person in question but thanks.. i was fuming and blocked the host when i was shown the chats.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *aptivatingWoman over a year ago

Chester

" no they are not the person in question but thanks.. i was fuming and blocked the host when i was shown the chats. "

Then I'd take it to the owner, they are giving their business a bad name, and if it were my business I'd want to know so I could deal with it..

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

" no they are not the person in question but thanks.. i was fuming and blocked the host when i was shown the chats.

Then I'd take it to the owner, they are giving their business a bad name, and if it were my business I'd want to know so I could deal with it..

X"
only issue is without the other person prepared to show the whats ap chat its my word against theirs

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *estmidscoupleCouple over a year ago

West Midlands

It's worth having the conversation with the owner anyway, if nothing flags it as a potential issue, good luck resolving

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *andL-LiverpoolCouple over a year ago

Huyton

Don't worry about proving it just let the club know, as it was a WhatsApp chat I'm guessing it was the host's group chat for all that was going? Xx

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *HaRiFMan over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

"who would you report this too.. recently had it with a hostess who was passing messages about where i was or wasn't going to another fab member even though id asked to be on a private list..

thanks"

As they are not employed by one one to hold these evens there is very little recourse I should imagine, I'm afraid.

Other than not attend any of their evens anymore.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Don't worry about proving it just let the club know, as it was a WhatsApp chat I'm guessing it was the host's group chat for all that was going? Xx"
no private chat between the hostess and someone else.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *andL-LiverpoolCouple over a year ago

Huyton

"Don't worry about proving it just let the club know, as it was a WhatsApp chat I'm guessing it was the host's group chat for all that was going? Xx no private chat between the hostess and someone else. "

Oh dear, just a host with poor skills, you have the right to disclose.the information to.the venue and you have the right to public list the host has poor skill with personal details when it regards parties, if admin here don't like the name.and shame I'm sure they will delete or advice you

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Think when im next in the club i may have a word then.. and avoid any events with that hostess

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *umpleteazerWoman over a year ago

Flintshire

" no they are not the person in question but thanks.. i was fuming and blocked the host when i was shown the chats.

Then I'd take it to the owner, they are giving their business a bad name, and if it were my business I'd want to know so I could deal with it..

This. If you are holding an event at a club it is their repuatation as well as yours that is at risk and you should have the respect for the club to remember that and act accordingly. The club definitely need to know as it may put others off going to future events there. If you have had this problem then maybe others have too so I would mention it even if you have no proof

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *lighty1Woman over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

"who would you report this too.. recently had it with a hostess who was passing messages about where i was or wasn't going to another fab member even though id asked to be on a private list..

thanks"

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *retty FolliesCouple (FF) over a year ago

south

"who would you report this too.. recently had it with a hostess who was passing messages about where i was or wasn't going to another fab member even though id asked to be on a private list..

thanks

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"who would you report this too.. recently had it with a hostess who was passing messages about where i was or wasn't going to another fab member even though id asked to be on a private list..

thanks

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ownhouseTwosomeCouple over a year ago

Birkenhead/Liverpool

As a club owner, I would want to know. It's a form of outing and poor management of an event x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *he Queen of TartsWoman over a year ago
Forum Mod

My Own Little World

"who would you report this too.. recently had it with a hostess who was passing messages about where i was or wasn't going to another fab member even though id asked to be on a private list..

thanks

It's not really gossip though. She asked to not be put on any guest list as she didn't want people to know where she was gonna be. But the hostess told others where Cali was going to be, against her wishes and I assume the hostess had agreed discretion.

Let the club know but expect some fall out.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ilacWoman over a year ago

Cheshire

"who would you report this too.. recently had it with a hostess who was passing messages about where i was or wasn't going to another fab member even though id asked to be on a private list..

thanks"

I'd temporary unblock her. Send her a message saying how you feel and what you found inappropriate. Then send a copy of the message to the club saying you just wanted to keep them in the loop.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

"Personally I'd name and shame her, as an event host discretion is expected, I'd certainly want to know if a host wasn't going to be discrete if I was wanting to be myself"

It is totally not acceptable to ever name and shame here.

Depending on the details, then it may be reasonable to report to admin here, for them to determine if the user has behaved inappropriately, by Fab standards/rules. Though Fab is not responsible for things that happen off-site: it's a tough job just to keep hold on Fab online things.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"who would you report this too.. recently had it with a hostess who was passing messages about where i was or wasn't going to another fab member even though id asked to be on a private list..

thanks

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *tarbeckCouple over a year ago

york

"who would you report this too.. recently had it with a hostess who was passing messages about where i was or wasn't going to another fab member even though id asked to be on a private list..

thanks

Basically, someone is gossiping about you? I don't know why you think this should be reported - it happens to most of us, at some point. Trying to stop people gossiping is like trying to pass a law that the sun shouldn't rise in the morning. Block her and move on. no its an event host that i asked to be added to a private list then messaging people to tell them i was going to an event.... I did block her. but you dont expect an event host to go slatting you and telling people where you are going ...don't you think you're overreacting just a little? ...you asked to be added to a private list...she told one person that you know of, that you would be there. Hardly a hanging offence"
And that person could have told how many other people ?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"who would you report this too.. recently had it with a hostess who was passing messages about where i was or wasn't going to another fab member even though id asked to be on a private list..

thanks

Basically, someone is gossiping about you? I don't know why you think this should be reported - it happens to most of us, at some point. Trying to stop people gossiping is like trying to pass a law that the sun shouldn't rise in the morning. Block her and move on. no its an event host that i asked to be added to a private list then messaging people to tell them i was going to an event.... I did block her. but you dont expect an event host to go slatting you and telling people where you are going ...don't you think you're overreacting just a little? ...you asked to be added to a private list...she told one person that you know of, that you would be there. Hardly a hanging offence And that person could have told how many other people ? "
.....and if you're aunt had balls...she'd be you're uncle. ...much ado about nothing really. ...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *tarbeckCouple over a year ago

york

"who would you report this too.. recently had it with a hostess who was passing messages about where i was or wasn't going to another fab member even though id asked to be on a private list..

thanks

Basically, someone is gossiping about you? I don't know why you think this should be reported - it happens to most of us, at some point. Trying to stop people gossiping is like trying to pass a law that the sun shouldn't rise in the morning. Block her and move on. no its an event host that i asked to be added to a private list then messaging people to tell them i was going to an event.... I did block her. but you dont expect an event host to go slatting you and telling people where you are going ...don't you think you're overreacting just a little? ...you asked to be added to a private list...she told one person that you know of, that you would be there. Hardly a hanging offence And that person could have told how many other people ? .....and if you're aunt had balls...she'd be you're uncle. ...much ado about nothing really. ..."
Very mature

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

someone else complained about a similar thing recently from some party hosts. it felt like she was being pimped out by the organisers in order to boost the numbers attending the party. she didn't go in the end so it backfired on the organiser.

this may be a pretty casual hobby on many levels but if discretion is requested, that should be honoured don't you think? particularly if this was a business. it's not the best way to conduct yourself...in my opinion.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"who would you report this too.. recently had it with a hostess who was passing messages about where i was or wasn't going to another fab member even though id asked to be on a private list..

thanks

Basically, someone is gossiping about you? I don't know why you think this should be reported - it happens to most of us, at some point. Trying to stop people gossiping is like trying to pass a law that the sun shouldn't rise in the morning. Block her and move on. no its an event host that i asked to be added to a private list then messaging people to tell them i was going to an event.... I did block her. but you dont expect an event host to go slatting you and telling people where you are going ...don't you think you're overreacting just a little? ...you asked to be added to a private list...she told one person that you know of, that you would be there. Hardly a hanging offence And that person could have told how many other people ? .....and if you're aunt had balls...she'd be you're uncle. ...much ado about nothing really. ..."

So put the Mrs on a single profile, put some face photos up and then advertise where she will be if it's not that much of a problem

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"who would you report this too.. recently had it with a hostess who was passing messages about where i was or wasn't going to another fab member even though id asked to be on a private list..

thanks

Basically, someone is gossiping about you? I don't know why you think this should be reported - it happens to most of us, at some point. Trying to stop people gossiping is like trying to pass a law that the sun shouldn't rise in the morning. Block her and move on. no its an event host that i asked to be added to a private list then messaging people to tell them i was going to an event.... I did block her. but you dont expect an event host to go slatting you and telling people where you are going ...don't you think you're overreacting just a little? ...you asked to be added to a private list...she told one person that you know of, that you would be there. Hardly a hanging offence And that person could have told how many other people ? .....and if you're aunt had balls...she'd be you're uncle. ...much ado about nothing really. ... Very mature "
....I know but....public lists...private lists....you said this...I said that...go to the event or don't. ..at the end of the day, will anyone notice?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *lighty1Woman over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

"...if discretion is requested, that should be honoured don't you think? particularly if this was a business. it's not the best way to conduct yourself...in my opinion."

I think we all agree that people *should* honour a request for discretion. However, there is no recourse, if someone doesn't honour such a request. The OP trusted someone who later turned out to be undeserving of that trust. This can't be reported to Fab, as Fab can only deal with problems that can be investigated through Fab (i.e. Fab can't deal with Whatsapp problems). The OP could report it to the owners of the club where the event was being hosted, but as she says, she has no evidence. In my experience, club owners try to stay out of spats between members. This is just one to chalk up to experience.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ilacWoman over a year ago

Cheshire

At the end of the day... It's crap customer service. She's not happy and can give feedback. If privacy was important to her, then she shouldn't have been assured of it and then it not given. I don't see why others are being dismissive of her wanting privacy. It could have been a mistake by the host who would appreciate the feedback so it doesn't happen again. She doesn't have to ask the club to step in but again, she can keep them in the loop that she has made a complaint to the host.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *edheadsruleCouple over a year ago

lancashire

I know of some on here that are stalked to the point of deleting their profile, I would imagine this is why some people prefer not to be named on guest lists.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *oobsandballsMan over a year ago

st andrews

Whenever we host a party we only give out the guest list to those that are attending, the day before the event. That way if there are any issues that may be going on between the attendees they have time to cancel if they wish. We are upfront about that and never had an issue.

We would never disclose who was attending one of our parties to anyone that wasn't.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic