FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Thinking of leaving
Thinking of leaving
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes but just dont fancy turnin up on my own new to all that and its a bit out my comfort zone "
Sometimes you have to take a step outside and break the circle. |
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"Yes but just dont fancy turnin up on my own new to all that and its a bit out my comfort zone "
Every single person that's in there was new 1s and remembers what it was like. When you go in tell them it's your 1st time and they will show you around and explain the rules. Don't be a dick and expect nothing after 20 minster you'll wonder what the hell you was worrying about. I can't put it any simpler for you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes but just dont fancy turnin up on my own new to all that and its a bit out my comfort zone
Every single person that's in there was new 1s and remembers what it was like. When you go in tell them it's your 1st time and they will show you around and explain the rules. Don't be a dick and expect nothing after 20 minster you'll wonder what the hell you was worrying about. I can't put it any simpler for you "
He speaks the truth  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been on this site a while and tried meetin anyone thats local i send nice messages but still no reply even with pictures,
After a while seems hopeless   "
Public pics, cha ge your profile text so theres absolutley nothing negative in it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Go to clubs with the intention of having a good time and enjoy yourself that doesnt necessarily mean sex but talk to people get to know them and give them a chance to get to know that is the best advice i can give you  |
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"Yes but just dont fancy turnin up on my own new to all that and its a bit out my comfort zone "
I went to my first social and first club on my own. I've also been with new friends and sometimes it's a worse experience and I'm left wishing I'd gone alone! 
If you go to a club or social pay attention to the rules, don't drink more than one or two, expect NOT to play just to socialise, be sociable and chatty and try not to perv, talk to everyone and don't make assumptions based on looks dress or appearance, and just cos the boundaries are different remember to keep it non sexual/non touching/non leering until you get the invite.
Oh, and if you're getting chatty with people mention that you're on here, ask if they are and suggest you'd love to veri them but you haven't got your first one yet... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been on this site a while and tried meetin anyone thats local i send nice messages but still no reply even with pictures,
After a while seems hopeless "
So are we - and we've been on Fab (via a couple of profiles) for over 5 years now. It's not what it was. You WILL get lots of advice to "go to a club" - beginning to think that's because Fab may have been bought by some club owner (or even a co-operative of clubs) - just look at all the "meets" in North West - many times more than 50% are "club meets" lol. Personally we do not like the club cattle market. Regarding genuine meets with nice people on Fab - very hard to find nowadays OP - unfortunately |
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With this site you can come across as "desperate" in a message or pushy sometimes is another one.
As the male half of the couple i read the messages we get....a few simple things go a long way.
1) no negatives on a profile - it makes the person look whingy or of a difficult mindset to gauge....remember people are invinting you into their homes and no one likes unpredictable or a potential whiney night...its meant to be fun
2) sell yourself, people do read profiles, its the first thing i read before replying.
3) nice photos, preferably a face shot as people like to see what they are looking at....if you look smart ypu get more responses.
4) sometimes you need to step outside of your comfort zone...we have all be new at one point of another, we all had to do it
5) be polite, confident and well mannered...for most ladies you can throw a stone and hit 20 cock shots. Make yourself stand out above the rest....and no text speak as its just lazy and irritating.....captivate the mind of the couple or lady
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I can't understand guys not going to a club due to nerves.
That doesn't mean I don't understand or think that they shouldn't have any nerves. It is natural that they should.
What I don't understand is not having the courage to man up and take the plunge.
If you think it is nerve wracking imagine how much harder it is to do it dressed as someone of a different gender. Then imagine how much more nerve wracking it is to step out the door and go out shopping or to a bar rather than a club of accepting, open and like minded people.
Grow a pair, honey xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes but just dont fancy turnin up on my own new to all that and its a bit out my comfort zone
Sometimes you have to take a step outside and break the circle."
Honestly, just go for it! That's what I did. Joined a club and was very nervous initially so I messaged them saying how unsure I was. Got a reassuring reply and eventually I went down. Was made to feel very welcome and I soon felt at ease. After a couple of visits I had a couple of play sessions which I enjoyed very much!
Clubs are probably the best way to go as it might help you get some verifications too; that's how I got mine!
Just messaging on here doesn't seem to have much effect. Every message I send seems to get deleted without reply, which does nothing for confidence/morale sadly, but that's the harsh reality!
Hope this helps, but regarding the club issue, seriously, just go for it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been on this site a while and tried meetin anyone thats local i send nice messages but still no reply even with pictures,
After a while seems hopeless
So are we - and we've been on Fab (via a couple of profiles) for over 5 years now. It's not what it was. You WILL get lots of advice to "go to a club" - beginning to think that's because Fab may have been bought by some club owner (or even a co-operative of clubs) - just look at all the "meets" in North West - many times more than 50% are "club meets" lol. Personally we do not like the club cattle market. Regarding genuine meets with nice people on Fab - very hard to find nowadays OP - unfortunately "
Where did you get your shoes from tooty..?
They look very sexy x |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"Been on this site a while and tried meetin anyone thats local i send nice messages but still no reply even with pictures,
After a while seems hopeless "
Maybe your problem is that you have tried to meet anyone thats local? You have probably messaging people who's age range you don't fit in, you dont meet their preferences etc. You have probably been wasting their time and yours. |
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"Yes but just dont fancy turnin up on my own new to all that and its a bit out my comfort zone "
The whole reason I'm here is to break out of my comfort zone! Seriously try a club because the worse thing that can happen is you'll make friends! Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes but just dont fancy turnin up on my own new to all that and its a bit out my comfort zone
The whole reason I'm here is to break out of my comfort zone! Seriously try a club because the worse thing that can happen is you'll make friends! Xx "
Or he'll be ignored or called a creep for getting near to people to have a conversation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been on this site a while and tried meetin anyone thats local i send nice messages but still no reply even with pictures,
After a while seems hopeless
Maybe your problem is that you have tried to meet anyone thats local? You have probably messaging people who's age range you don't fit in, you dont meet their preferences etc. You have probably been wasting their time and yours. "
Or he's not done anything like that but been ignored. |
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By *ifuwMan
over a year ago
Hull |
I also had the same problems as yourself. No one messaging back and what not. But I bet if you ask all the ladies how many messages on average they get a day it will be alot possible near 30 to 50 messages a day. I had a friend who started a profile and she received 20 messages in 25 minutes and had 3 friend requests and was viewed almost 100 times and her profile wasn't verified and had no pictures. It's a case they just didn't see your messages. I agree go to socials show them how much of a good guy you are and that your a person not a profile. The hardest step is always the first one but it will be worth it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been on this site a while and tried meetin anyone thats local i send nice messages but still no reply even with pictures,
After a while seems hopeless "
Well let's see. No picture on profile, Calling people 'snotty keyboard warriors' always helps. You must be amazing to meet and are obviously too good for this site, bye. |
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"Been on this site a while and tried meetin anyone thats local i send nice messages but still no reply even with pictures,
After a while seems hopeless "
Don't send nice messages, because politeness doesn't work on here. Be rude and send messages what you want to do with them, tell them your dirtiest fantasy, you will get reply definitely |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dude! Here's my advice for what it's worth.
Forget about the messages suggesting "Go to a club" because if your as shy as me, dragging your ass to a club alone just isn't going to happen, never in a million years.
Changed your approach this website, look at it in a different way. Do your searches, send your messages but do it knowing full well that you won't get a reply. If you do bonus but don't go down the road of thinking because it's a sex site, you are guaranteed to get laid. It ain't going to happen and on top of all that, a good percentage on veris on here don't mean shit.
It can get frustrating, I know because I've been there and done it. I use this more now as a social mess around. Get involved with some of the Forum posts as some can be pretty comical and or interesting even.
I've been on here for about a year now and it was only a struggle for me because I strongly believed and expected things to happen. The reality is very different. Just don't expect anything and merely look at it as another social media site. Enjoy it and have a laugh.
My advise probably won't help but that's how my firsr year has progressed  |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"Dude! Here's my advice for what it's worth.
Forget about the messages suggesting "Go to a club" because if your as shy as me, dragging your ass to a club alone just isn't going to happen, never in a million years.
Changed your approach this website, look at it in a different way. Do your searches, send your messages but do it knowing full well that you won't get a reply. If you do bonus but don't go down the road of thinking because it's a sex site, you are guaranteed to get laid. It ain't going to happen and on top of all that, a good percentage on veris on here don't mean shit.
It can get frustrating, I know because I've been there and done it. I use this more now as a social mess around. Get involved with some of the Forum posts as some can be pretty comical and or interesting even.
I've been on here for about a year now and it was only a struggle for me because I strongly believed and expected things to happen. The reality is very different. Just don't expect anything and merely look at it as another social media site. Enjoy it and have a laugh.
My advise probably won't help but that's how my firsr year has progressed "
i like you alot..if i was nearer, i would make the effort to meet up with you..just saying x you don't go unnoticed by some x |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"Dude! Here's my advice for what it's worth.
Forget about the messages suggesting "Go to a club" because if your as shy as me, dragging your ass to a club alone just isn't going to happen, never in a million years.
Changed your approach this website, look at it in a different way. Do your searches, send your messages but do it knowing full well that you won't get a reply. If you do bonus but don't go down the road of thinking because it's a sex site, you are guaranteed to get laid. It ain't going to happen and on top of all that, a good percentage on veris on here don't mean shit.
It can get frustrating, I know because I've been there and done it. I use this more now as a social mess around. Get involved with some of the Forum posts as some can be pretty comical and or interesting even.
I've been on here for about a year now and it was only a struggle for me because I strongly believed and expected things to happen. The reality is very different. Just don't expect anything and merely look at it as another social media site. Enjoy it and have a laugh.
My advise probably won't help but that's how my firsr year has progressed i like you alot..if i was nearer, i would make the effort to meet up with you..just saying x you don't go unnoticed by some x"
I feel the same |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"Been on this site a while and tried meetin anyone thats local i send nice messages but still no reply even with pictures,
After a while seems hopeless
Maybe your problem is that you have tried to meet anyone thats local? You have probably messaging people who's age range you don't fit in, you dont meet their preferences etc. You have probably been wasting their time and yours.
Or he's not done anything like that but been ignored. "
So you don't believe him when he says he's "tried meeting everyone local"? You think the OP is lying? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't understand this site! I supposedly had a meeting last night.In the morning we chatted and he said he couldn't wait! But approaching the time of the meeting I didn't heard from him! Because I deleted the messages I couldn't contact and he his verified!Then tonight he emailed with BS if he could meet tonight! I told him to get lost and blocked! But in another hand I can see many genuine people don't get a meeting! Just frustrating!Don't give up! All the best |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been on this site a while and tried meetin anyone thats local i send nice messages but still no reply even with pictures,
After a while seems hopeless
Don't send nice messages, because politeness doesn't work on here. Be rude and send messages what you want to do with them, tell them your dirtiest fantasy, you will get reply definitely"
Actually one of my long term friends of her mt first message to was taking pee of her liking chavs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes but just dont fancy turnin up on my own new to all that and its a bit out my comfort zone
The whole reason I'm here is to break out of my comfort zone! Seriously try a club because the worse thing that can happen is you'll make friends! Xx "
No thats the worst thing that can happen if you have a vagina.
If you're a guy what can happen is as you walk to up say a feiendly hi at the bar as you opwn your mouth you get "no, sorry not interested".
Repeatedly and then younsoend the night stood at the bar drinking a bit before toddling off home having paid a fortune to do fuck all.
For the average entrance fee a single male pays he could have got into a a very high class club and had some drinks rather than a a slightly dingy bodged together place with BYOB |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you want to leave then leave...
No one owes you a meet or reply to a message no matter how "nice" your message is.
The sense of entitlement from some men on here is astonishing.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes but just dont fancy turnin up on my own new to all that and its a bit out my comfort zone "
We all had to take the leap sometime. Grow a pair and get out there |
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By *o-jCouple
over a year ago
Outskirts of Notts |
"Yes but just dont fancy turnin up on my own new to all that and its a bit out my comfort zone
We all had to take the leap sometime. Grow a pair and get out there "
I don't want to grow a pair ....
Joanne x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dude! Here's my advice for what it's worth.
Forget about the messages suggesting "Go to a club" because if your as shy as me, dragging your ass to a club alone just isn't going to happen, never in a million years.
Changed your approach this website, look at it in a different way. Do your searches, send your messages but do it knowing full well that you won't get a reply. If you do bonus but don't go down the road of thinking because it's a sex site, you are guaranteed to get laid. It ain't going to happen and on top of all that, a good percentage on veris on here don't mean shit.
It can get frustrating, I know because I've been there and done it. I use this more now as a social mess around. Get involved with some of the Forum posts as some can be pretty comical and or interesting even.
I've been on here for about a year now and it was only a struggle for me because I strongly believed and expected things to happen. The reality is very different. Just don't expect anything and merely look at it as another social media site. Enjoy it and have a laugh.
My advise probably won't help but that's how my firsr year has progressed "
The man speaks the truth. Don't expect anything and something may happen. It's a very strange place. Even when you get messages don't think it's going to lead to something till you are actually there. I have had a few friends on here and met them a few times then send a few messages only to have them all read but ignored! Also conversation seems to be flowing with people and then all of a sudden they stop and just don't bother reading your messages to even reply. It's a strange place but if you want the meets you have to put in the groundwork or you will end up another unlos |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dude! Here's my advice for what it's worth.
Forget about the messages suggesting "Go to a club" because if your as shy as me, dragging your ass to a club alone just isn't going to happen, never in a million years.
Changed your approach this website, look at it in a different way. Do your searches, send your messages but do it knowing full well that you won't get a reply. If you do bonus but don't go down the road of thinking because it's a sex site, you are guaranteed to get laid. It ain't going to happen and on top of all that, a good percentage on veris on here don't mean shit.
It can get frustrating, I know because I've been there and done it. I use this more now as a social mess around. Get involved with some of the Forum posts as some can be pretty comical and or interesting even.
I've been on here for about a year now and it was only a struggle for me because I strongly believed and expected things to happen. The reality is very different. Just don't expect anything and merely look at it as another social media site. Enjoy it and have a laugh.
My advise probably won't help but that's how my firsr year has progressed i like you alot..if i was nearer, i would make the effort to meet up with you..just saying x you don't go unnoticed by some x
I feel the same "
I'm totally stumped for words, speachless  . Thank you ladies xx |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"Dude! Here's my advice for what it's worth.
Forget about the messages suggesting "Go to a club" because if your as shy as me, dragging your ass to a club alone just isn't going to happen, never in a million years.
Changed your approach this website, look at it in a different way. Do your searches, send your messages but do it knowing full well that you won't get a reply. If you do bonus but don't go down the road of thinking because it's a sex site, you are guaranteed to get laid. It ain't going to happen and on top of all that, a good percentage on veris on here don't mean shit.
It can get frustrating, I know because I've been there and done it. I use this more now as a social mess around. Get involved with some of the Forum posts as some can be pretty comical and or interesting even.
I've been on here for about a year now and it was only a struggle for me because I strongly believed and expected things to happen. The reality is very different. Just don't expect anything and merely look at it as another social media site. Enjoy it and have a laugh.
My advise probably won't help but that's how my firsr year has progressed i like you alot..if i was nearer, i would make the effort to meet up with you..just saying x you don't go unnoticed by some x
I feel the same
I'm totally stumped for words, speachless . Thank you ladies xx"
xx |
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By *wllady2Woman
over a year ago
San Luis Obispo |
"Been on this site a while and tried meetin anyone thats local i send nice messages but still no reply even with pictures,
After a while seems hopeless
Don't send nice messages, because politeness doesn't work on here. Be rude and send messages what you want to do with them, tell them your dirtiest fantasy, you will get reply definitely"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been on this site a while and tried meetin anyone thats local i send nice messages but still no reply even with pictures,
After a while seems hopeless "
Fab does not work for everybody, but you would have better chance if you improved you profile. Also a 'nice' message with pictures (what are the pictures of?) is not necesarily enough to get someone into bed. In your profile and message you need yo sell yourself, say what you have to offer, make yourself stand out above all the others. |
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"Yes but just dont fancy turnin up on my own new to all that and its a bit out my comfort zone
The whole reason I'm here is to break out of my comfort zone! Seriously try a club because the worse thing that can happen is you'll make friends! Xx
Or he'll be ignored or called a creep for getting near to people to have a conversation."
Maybe both are right? However, he will learn what suits and what does not? Get out and about young man!!  |
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"Been on this site a while and tried meetin anyone thats local i send nice messages but still no reply even with pictures,
After a while seems hopeless
Public pics, cha ge your profile text so theres absolutley nothing negative in it.
"
What he said. |
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"I can't understand guys not going to a club due to nerves.
That doesn't mean I don't understand or think that they shouldn't have any nerves. It is natural that they should.
What I don't understand is not having the courage to man up and take the plunge.
If you think it is nerve wracking imagine how much harder it is to do it dressed as someone of a different gender. Then imagine how much more nerve wracking it is to step out the door and go out shopping or to a bar rather than a club of accepting, open and like minded people.
Grow a pair, honey xx"
How rude! ..... I dare say he does have a pair ....
Men ... or women for that matter dont always find clubs attractive .... I wouldnt go to one on my own .... shall I grow a pair too !! |
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Thanks everyone for you advice I've had a read of all of your messages and I will consider my options but I will stay on for no. And hopefully get a few meets not into goin clubs on my own it's not about growing a pair it's about standing there on my own like a nob |
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"Thanks everyone for you advice I've had a read of all of your messages and I will consider my options but I will stay on for no. And hopefully get a few meets not into goin clubs on my own it's not about growing a pair it's about standing there on my own like a nob "
So every single guy who goes alone is now a nob.... |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"Thanks everyone for you advice I've had a read of all of your messages and I will consider my options but I will stay on for no. And hopefully get a few meets not into goin clubs on my own it's not about growing a pair it's about standing there on my own like a nob
So every single guy who goes alone is now a nob.... "
no hell feel like a nob..now thats his choice..he can feel whatever he likes...thats no reflection on people who go and enjoy themselves on their own xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks everyone for you advice I've had a read of all of your messages and I will consider my options but I will stay on for no. And hopefully get a few meets not into goin clubs on my own it's not about growing a pair it's about standing there on my own like a nob
So every single guy who goes alone is now a nob.... "
That's not what he said, it's just a view of how he may feel at the time.
Anyway, try clubs if you build the confidence (may take a while but it's worthy of interest - some are hugely social, Ive socialised in many and played in few, don't be afraid of seeking fun in a long term sense) and in the meantime just treat the site as something to explore and use the forums for establishing what connections may be out there. I'd say just use it as suggested above, it's not a site to just use as a single bloke and get sex, in the sense of it being a simple job. Spend time just being yourself and crack on, do your own thing and I'm sure the right attitude and personality will get you further than you think. |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"Been on this site a while and tried meetin anyone thats local i send nice messages but still no reply even with pictures,
After a while seems hopeless
Public pics, cha ge your profile text so theres absolutley nothing negative in it.
"
Oh, I dunno, negative language has never stopped me... |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"Been on this site a while and tried meetin anyone thats local i send nice messages but still no reply even with pictures,
After a while seems hopeless
Public pics, cha ge your profile text so theres absolutley nothing negative in it.
Oh, I dunno, negative language has never stopped me..."
yeah but you go to clubs too..i know ive seen you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe you'd get more meets if you were honest in your profile about being bi (sexual or curious) seeing as your veri is from a gloryhole meet which has the guy giving the BJs? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been on this site a while and tried meetin anyone thats local i send nice messages but still no reply even with pictures,
After a while seems hopeless "
New version looks like it took 30 seconds to write, nothing special unless I am a tattoo fan. Common interests? You don't even say what your interests are! |
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