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Swinging clubs and single men
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Here's one for all you lovely, lovely people to get stuck in to:
Is it worth going to swingers clubs as a single male? Or will it be just the same as on here? Far too much other competition and unless you are uber-attractive you'll just spend your night staring at your shoes and paying more than couples and women for the privilege...
I have even heard rumours that some swingers clubs segregate the single men from everyone else and if others want to play with you they will (not) come and get you. Can anyone shed some light on this? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd go to a club mate I love them and find it much more easy to talk to people face to face than over Internet. At one club I go they limit single guys on a sat but that is a good thing. Not sure where you from and what clubs are near you but could recommend a few in Manc and my local townhouse |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd go to a club mate I love them and find it much more easy to talk to people face to face than over Internet. At one club I go they limit single guys on a sat but that is a good thing. Not sure where you from and what clubs are near you but could recommend a few in Manc and my local townhouse "
I'm near Portsmouth. I suspect being quite tall and athletic probably helps with your success in the clubs... |
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"I'd go to a club mate I love them and find it much more easy to talk to people face to face than over Internet. At one club I go they limit single guys on a sat but that is a good thing. Not sure where you from and what clubs are near you but could recommend a few in Manc and my local townhouse "
+1 
we'll talk to anyone and include single guys n our play. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
we'll talk to anyone and include single guys n our play."
Lots of people will talk to anyone, it's whether they will do anything more than that is what I'm wondering. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
we'll talk to anyone and include single guys n our play.
Lots of people will talk to anyone, it's whether they will do anything more than that is what I'm wondering."
I think what they are trying to get across is be sociable. If you go into a swinging club with expectations of playing then you may be disappointed and clubs will not be for you. The successful single men that I know have made the effort and take the time to build up a network of friends, who can become playmates. If you expect instant success then maybe spend your money on an Escort or visit a sex club like The Private Club.
Can't comment on the segregation issue as I've never seen it in any of the clubs I've been to (and that's quite a few) |
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I've been to a lot of clubs and never seen or heard of segregation of single men although some have couples only rooms for those that want it....sounds like a myth started by someone who has never been to a club. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You need to shake the 'going to a club = getting laid' attitude.
Go, chat, make friends. Watch what's going on and be sociable. I hate it when single guys stand around the edges of the bar etc and then when dress down happens they expect an invite to play 
You have to work harder than that I'm afraid! |
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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago
Beyond the shadows. |
"Here's one for all you lovely, lovely people to get stuck in to:
Is it worth going to swingers clubs as a single male? Or will it be just the same as on here? Far too much other competition and unless you are uber-attractive you'll just spend your night staring at your shoes and paying more than couples and women for the privilege...
I have even heard rumours that some swingers clubs segregate the single men from everyone else and if others want to play with you they will (not) come and get you. Can anyone shed some light on this?"
If you do go with the mindset of yeah I'm gonna get laid you'll probably come away disappointed, more often then not.
Going to a club wont guarantee you a better success rate. What you it will do is get you out and about meeting people. Don't know about the segregation, never come a cross that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I were a single guy then I probably wouldn't go to most clubs - I think they are far too expensive for single guys. There are a few that I think are more reasonable in price, but you have to do some research.
Having said that, I find that clubs are a better way of having fun than the internet. People who go there tend to be serious about playing on that night. Whether they will have sex with you is a whole other issue. Just because you pay to go to a club doesn't mean that you'll get sex, and it also doesn't mean that you'll see anyone you want to have sex with. Marc and I don't always find people we want to have sex with, but in those cases we tend to just enjoy each other and the atmosphere. A single guy wouldn't have that to fall back on.
You have to know that sex isn't guaranteed and decide whether it is worth it to you for the experience. If you do decide to give it a try, then do some serious research into which club and which night would work for you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've been to a lot of clubs and never seen or heard of segregation of single men although some have couples only rooms for those that want it....sounds like a myth started by someone who has never been to a club."
It may well be the case that the info I had heard had been twisted in the grapevine and what they meant was couples only areas, and if any single women did turn up, they were very few and far between in comparison to their male equivalents. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You need to shake the 'going to a club = getting laid' attitude.
Go, chat, make friends. Watch what's going on and be sociable. I hate it when single guys stand around the edges of the bar etc and then when dress down happens they expect an invite to play
You have to work harder than that I'm afraid!"
Where did you get the idea I had a 'going to a club = getting laid' attitude? |
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"I've been to a lot of clubs and never seen or heard of segregation of single men although some have couples only rooms for those that want it....sounds like a myth started by someone who has never been to a club.
It may well be the case that the info I had heard had been twisted in the grapevine and what they meant was couples only areas, and if any single women did turn up, they were very few and far between in comparison to their male equivalents."
Yep, single women at clubs are few and far between. I can only speak for myself and on the whole, my experiences have been excellent but there is sometimes too much 'fending off' and annoying persistence that stops me from really letting go. It's hard to shag with one eye on the crowd! |
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By *plpxp2Couple
over a year ago
Middlesbrough |
The best thing with clubs is to view it as a night or afternoon out and anything else is a bonus. Circulate, chat and see what happens. Have met some lovely singles in clubs, strangely enough it is the ones we've chatted too that we play with, rather than the guys who just wander round in the hope of something. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Best bits of advice I can offer are:
1)Be positive, jovial and fun
2) Don't be a wallflower, what I mean by that is.. Don't lurk around, don't stand glued to the wall or a chair
3) Be talkative
4) Chat and compliment the ladies, the majority of the ladies have gone to a great effort getting there and made the effort to get beautifully dressed for the evening.
5) Never Ever exclude talking to guys in there, they can offer a wealth of knowledge and could often introduce you to other people in there... BUT.. DON'T JUST CHAT TO GUY'S ALL NIGHT, (Unless that's what you're there for) |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
It won't be your shoes you'd be looking at all night! 
As one of the oh so rare single women who regularly attend clubs, the thing I would say is most important is to chat to people. I am more likely to drag a guy into a private room for a play if he's come over and attempted conversation, instead of staring at me across the room while slowly wanking himself. 
Just don't get disheartened by knock backs, and don't just work your way through the crowd, as we get wise to that one, and if we think you're just chatting to us because the gorgeous red head turned you down, we're not going to be the consolation shag. Be friendly and you should have a great night, shag or no shag. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It won't be your shoes you'd be looking at all night!
As one of the oh so rare single women who regularly attend clubs, the thing I would say is most important is to chat to people. I am more likely to drag a guy into a private room for a play if he's come over and attempted conversation, instead of staring at me across the room while slowly wanking himself.
Just don't get disheartened by knock backs, and don't just work your way through the crowd, as we get wise to that one, and if we think you're just chatting to us because the gorgeous red head turned you down, we're not going to be the consolation shag. Be friendly and you should have a great night, shag or no shag."
I probably would have to look at my shoes. I get caught looking at boobs before I even realise I'm doing it... 
In all honesty it sounds like quite the minefield and there's probably a whole load of etiquette and stuff that I'd need be conversant with. My original plan had been to find someone on here to go to a club as a 'couple' just to get a feel for how it all works, safe in the knowledge that I wouldn't get frustrated as I'd know I'd get some fun with my 'other half' at some point that night. However, so far that plan has not come to fruition...
I can be quite shy around people I don't know at all, especially if there's a lot of them. The local clubs near me all seem very cliquey too. All the regulars who are on here all know each other but don't seem very fond of outsiders, or it may just be they don't like me... |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"It won't be your shoes you'd be looking at all night!
As one of the oh so rare single women who regularly attend clubs, the thing I would say is most important is to chat to people. I am more likely to drag a guy into a private room for a play if he's come over and attempted conversation, instead of staring at me across the room while slowly wanking himself.
Just don't get disheartened by knock backs, and don't just work your way through the crowd, as we get wise to that one, and if we think you're just chatting to us because the gorgeous red head turned you down, we're not going to be the consolation shag. Be friendly and you should have a great night, shag or no shag.
I probably would have to look at my shoes. I get caught looking at boobs before I even realise I'm doing it...
In all honesty it sounds like quite the minefield and there's probably a whole load of etiquette and stuff that I'd need be conversant with. My original plan had been to find someone on here to go to a club as a 'couple' just to get a feel for how it all works, safe in the knowledge that I wouldn't get frustrated as I'd know I'd get some fun with my 'other half' at some point that night. However, so far that plan has not come to fruition...
I can be quite shy around people I don't know at all, especially if there's a lot of them. The local clubs near me all seem very cliquey too. All the regulars who are on here all know each other but don't seem very fond of outsiders, or it may just be they don't like me..."
You're unlikely to get a woman on here agree to be your club buddy. If you're not compatible you'll both be stuck in a club with someone you don't like, and most men feel that the woman should be obliged to stay with them or shag them or something. Also, most men looking for women are trying to get in on the cheaper couples admission fee. We are aware of this.
Most clubs are not cliquey, they just will have groups of people who know each other well and probably play together. If you don't make an effort you'll always be on the periphery. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
You're unlikely to get a woman on here agree to be your club buddy. If you're not compatible you'll both be stuck in a club with someone you don't like, and most men feel that the woman should be obliged to stay with them or shag them or something. Also, most men looking for women are trying to get in on the cheaper couples admission fee. We are aware of this.
Most clubs are not cliquey, they just will have groups of people who know each other well and probably play together. If you don't make an effort you'll always be on the periphery. "
For compatibility the idea would be that we would meet 1-on-1 a couple of times to make sure we were compatible first.
Whilst I would want a club buddy to stay with me for a bit, that would purely be so I can 'find my feet' as it were and get relaxed, therefore becoming more talkative. After a while she could do as she pleases really. I nearly had one lined up not so long ago, however we don't really see each other any more... |
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By *ty31Man
over a year ago
NW London |
I prefer clubs to messaging on here. I find it easier to chat to people in real life and online people are more likely to have lists of traits they look for. In a club it's easier to get your personality across. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can only really talk for Townhouse but the guys there are appreciated, on the weekend there's a maximum of 8 allowed so that the guys who do attend have a good chance of playing and the couples don't feel like they are surrounded by single guys.
Other events are designed more with Greedy Girls in mind so more males are welcome.
Personally I tend to play with the single guys so I would definitely recommend going |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"You need to shake the 'going to a club = getting laid' attitude"
this this this this this......
compatiblity in clubs comes down to a multitude of things.... but perceiving it as some sort of cheap alternative to a brothel or knocking shop isn't one of them....
don't see people as fresh meat, which is why it helps to be social... talk to people
just because you are in a setting that deals with sex, sex doesn't have to be the conversation... actually probably helps that it isn't at the beginning because they can see you as a well rounded human being.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You need to shake the 'going to a club = getting laid' attitude.
Go, chat, make friends. Watch what's going on and be sociable. I hate it when single guys stand around the edges of the bar etc and then when dress down happens they expect an invite to play
You have to work harder than that I'm afraid!"
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"this this this this this......
compatiblity in clubs comes down to a multitude of things.... but perceiving it as some sort of cheap alternative to a brothel or knocking shop isn't one of them....
don't see people as fresh meat, which is why it helps to be social... talk to people
just because you are in a setting that deals with sex, sex doesn't have to be the conversation... actually probably helps that it isn't at the beginning because they can see you as a well rounded human being...."
I think the problem I may have is that people will see I'm a 'well-rounded human being' without the need to speak, if you catch my drift... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It won't be your shoes you'd be looking at all night!
As one of the oh so rare single women who regularly attend clubs, the thing I would say is most important is to chat to people. I am more likely to drag a guy into a private room for a play if he's come over and attempted conversation, instead of staring at me across the room while slowly wanking himself.
Just don't get disheartened by knock backs, and don't just work your way through the crowd, as we get wise to that one, and if we think you're just chatting to us because the gorgeous red head turned you down, we're not going to be the consolation shag. Be friendly and you should have a great night, shag or no shag."
My thoughts exactly. Too few single guys in the club I go to and sometimes if they go with a female friend you don't know who they are unless they chat to you which quite often they don't. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"
I think the problem I may have is that people will see I'm a 'well-rounded human being' without the need to speak, if you catch my drift..."
......however without talking.... you just become the common "mute in the club"... and you don't stand out at all....
see the trick for single guys and standing out is to do something most singles guys don't do....... chat!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Here's one for all you lovely, lovely people to get stuck in to:
Is it worth going to swingers clubs as a single male? Or will it be just the same as on here? Far too much other competition and unless you are uber-attractive you'll just spend your night staring at your shoes and paying more than couples and women for the privilege...
I have even heard rumours that some swingers clubs segregate the single men from everyone else and if others want to play with you they will (not) come and get you. Can anyone shed some light on this?"
That comment is totally wrong!
I went as a single male for many many months... and always treated it like a social club, people there are friendly, social and above all... FUN to be around.
Never at any time was i left in any corner looking at my shoes, always interact with others, chat and make friends.... that's what it's all about  |
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... Just to my taste
Red x