FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Getting Fed Up Now
Getting Fed Up Now
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok I'm new ish to this. I've been chatting to a guy for over a week now. I get hundreds of messages but he's really nice.
Anyway every time I update my status or when I had another social he wasnt too happy and messaged me. He said its normal for a bloke to be competitive.
So we've had a few socials arranged and he's had to change them for whatever reason. I do know he's nervous.
Tonight we were supposed to meet but he forgot he had a party to go to. I'm gutted so suggested a quick meet before the party as its only 2 mins away from me. He's agreed but keeps saying it can only be for a few mins. I'm actually going out to wait in a public parking place to meet him for a few mins!
Cut the story short but I'm finding it hard work. Should it be like this? And should I be chatting to a few guys if I like them? |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"
Cut the story short but I'm finding it hard work. 1:Should it be like this? 2:And should I be chatting to a few guys if I like them? "
1: No, 2:Yes
take ownership of your enjoyment and go and look for anther meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No guy should moan at you for having any sort of meet social or sexual, your free to do as you please, its his problem if hes to nervous if he fails to appear dont hesitate to block and move on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok I'm new ish to this. I've been chatting to a guy for over a week now. I get hundreds of messages but he's really nice.
Anyway every time I update my status or when I had another social he wasnt too happy and messaged me. He said its normal for a bloke to be competitive.
So we've had a few socials arranged and he's had to change them for whatever reason. I do know he's nervous.
Tonight we were supposed to meet but he forgot he had a party to go to. I'm gutted so suggested a quick meet before the party as its only 2 mins away from me. He's agreed but keeps saying it can only be for a few mins. I'm actually going out to wait in a public parking place to meet him for a few mins!
Cut the story short but I'm finding it hard work. Should it be like this? And should I be chatting to a few guys if I like them? "
Talk to who you want, when you want. You owe this man nothing. You have clearly tried to arrange meetings with him and he backs out...once or twice can be forgiven, but after that I'd stop trying. You obviously have more patience than I would. If you like him, then carry on trying, but dont put all ur efforts into just him, chat to others, your not his, he has no hold over you. If he doesn't like you chattin/meeting others, then tell him to pull his finger out n meet you.
Good luck
Poppy |
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You can talk to who you want I would say always let someone know where you are going be safe and I would say if he can only give a couple of minutes the give him the same if he's 2 mins late leave and find someone who would have the respect to show up as arranged
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not to jump to conclusions, but all these excuses! Sounds like a player #cheater to me!!
Plus the jealous behaviour hmm I wld say stay away from this 1 save urself the hussle  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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These are the guys that give the rest of us a bad name. Shame on him. You should never be made to feel bad for chatting to someone else, and as for the nonsense he spouted about being competitive, absolute crap I'm sorry to say. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not to jump to conclusions, but all these excuses! Sounds like a player #cheater to me!!
Plus the jealous behaviour hmm I wld say stay away from this 1 save urself the hussle "
Thanks for the advice but I must say I found it hard to take in with that fine pic of yours looking back at me!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not to jump to conclusions, but all these excuses! Sounds like a player #cheater to me!!
Plus the jealous behaviour hmm I wld say stay away from this 1 save urself the hussle
Thanks for the advice but I must say I found it hard to take in with that fine pic of yours looking back at me! "
Lol oh you silver tongue charmer you xx
like wise  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If this was match.com I would say fair enough. But the whole point of Fab, as far as I'm concerned, is to enjoy the freedom of having multiple partners.)"
In any environment I'd be getting serious red flags from this level of possessiveness after a few chats. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So even the 5 min quick meet has now been cancelled. He's miles away waiting for his brother to get ready.
You're right I'm worth more than this. Just fed up now.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So even the 5 min quick meet has now been cancelled. He's miles away waiting for his brother to get ready.
You're right I'm worth more than this. Just fed up now.
"
Nobody deserves that shite, easy for me to say but I'd just block and move on, put this down to experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So even the 5 min quick meet has now been cancelled. He's miles away waiting for his brother to get ready.
You're right I'm worth more than this. Just fed up now.
"
Excuse after excuse he aint interested.. he wants to control and loves the thrill thats it |
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"So even the 5 min quick meet has now been cancelled. He's miles away waiting for his brother to get ready.
You're right I'm worth more than this. Just fed up now.
"
Hes an idiot and thats putting it nicely. Just block him and enjoy yourself chick as thats what this lifestyle is about xx |
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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago
Wherever the party is! |
"Ok I'm new ish to this. I've been chatting to a guy for over a week now. I get hundreds of messages but he's really nice.
Anyway every time I update my status or when I had another social he wasnt too happy and messaged me. He said its normal for a bloke to be competitive.
So we've had a few socials arranged and he's had to change them for whatever reason. I do know he's nervous.
Tonight we were supposed to meet but he forgot he had a party to go to. I'm gutted so suggested a quick meet before the party as its only 2 mins away from me. He's agreed but keeps saying it can only be for a few mins. I'm actually going out to wait in a public parking place to meet him for a few mins!
Cut the story short but I'm finding it hard work. Should it be like this? And should I be chatting to a few guys if I like them? "
Classic controlling/domineering behaviour. Block and put this down to a near miss...x |
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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago
Wherever the party is! |
"Ok I'm new ish to this. I've been chatting to a guy for over a week now. I get hundreds of messages but he's really nice.
Anyway every time I update my status or when I had another social he wasnt too happy and messaged me. He said its normal for a bloke to be competitive.
So we've had a few socials arranged and he's had to change them for whatever reason. I do know he's nervous.
Tonight we were supposed to meet but he forgot he had a party to go to. I'm gutted so suggested a quick meet before the party as its only 2 mins away from me. He's agreed but keeps saying it can only be for a few mins. I'm actually going out to wait in a public parking place to meet him for a few mins!
Cut the story short but I'm finding it hard work. Should it be like this? And should I be chatting to a few guys if I like them?
Classic controlling/domineering behaviour. Block and put this down to a near miss...x"
Meant to also add that he's trying to condition you into thinking that his behaviour is normal. |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
"So even the 5 min quick meet has now been cancelled. He's miles away waiting for his brother to get ready.
You're right I'm worth more than this. Just fed up now.
Excuse after excuse he aint interested.. he wants to control and loves the thrill thats it"
Agrees, some people like the thrill on making others do what they want and when they want. Not worth it. As for the match dot com point, you'll be surprised the number of people that till this day think the site is about pairing up or finding people that want to pair up, and turning away all other meets. |
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You need to know your own worth, set boundaries and stick by them. It's no good asking us if his behaviour is acceptable, ask yourself "is this behaviour acceptable to me?" and if the answers no move swiftly on. You need to be tough and sure of your self or you're going to get messed around.
Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok I'm new ish to this. I've been chatting to a guy for over a week now. I get hundreds of messages but he's really nice.
Anyway every time I update my status or when I had another social he wasnt too happy and messaged me. He said its normal for a bloke to be competitive.
So we've had a few socials arranged and he's had to change them for whatever reason. I do know he's nervous.
Tonight we were supposed to meet but he forgot he had a party to go to. I'm gutted so suggested a quick meet before the party as its only 2 mins away from me. He's agreed but keeps saying it can only be for a few mins. I'm actually going out to wait in a public parking place to meet him for a few mins!
Cut the story short but I'm finding it hard work. Should it be like this? And should I be chatting to a few guys if I like them? "
you can chat to as many people as you like...
it should be none of his business who you meet, especially if he wont meet you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You need to know your own worth, set boundaries and stick by them. It's no good asking us if his behaviour is acceptable, ask yourself "is this behaviour acceptable to me?" and if the answers no move swiftly on. You need to be tough and sure of your self or you're going to get messed around.
Good luck."
this^^.
i would also block anyone who messes me about and have done. there's plenty more guys who will not do this.
as for going on at you for meeting other people, that would have been a block straight away from me, luckily no guy has done this to me on here. |
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I give people a 2nd chance but no more than that. Mess me about and I walk, I have too much self respect.
No it shouldn't be hard work, and NSA means you can chat to and even fuck as many guys as you like and he has no say at all.
He has had his chance, move on and don't look back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So even the 5 min quick meet has now been cancelled. He's miles away waiting for his brother to get ready.
You're right I'm worth more than this. Just fed up now.
"
Nobody deserves to be messed around like this, tell him he's a prick and block him
You won't have any lack of decent people wanting to meet you  |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"You need to know your own worth, set boundaries and stick by them. It's no good asking us if his behaviour is acceptable, ask yourself "is this behaviour acceptable to me?" and if the answers no move swiftly on. You need to be tough and sure of your self or you're going to get messed around.
Good luck."
You guys are so sensible.
I'm glad that you didn't meet him, it sounds like a lucky escape to me. Block him and don't take anymore shit from guys on here. It's meant to be fun xx |
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"You need to know your own worth, set boundaries and stick by them. It's no good asking us if his behaviour is acceptable, ask yourself "is this behaviour acceptable to me?" and if the answers no move swiftly on. You need to be tough and sure of your self or you're going to get messed around.
Good luck.
You guys are so sensible.
"
Oh dear   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is it just me here? No alarm bells ringing with the OP?
A man trying to control you and you haven't even met!
Delete, block and move on hunny
Stay safe xx
Oh and ps, come on, your gorgeous so there are sooooo many men on here who will treat you lovely xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it just me here? No alarm bells ringing with the OP?
A man trying to control you and you haven't even met!
Delete, block and move on hunny
Stay safe xx
Oh and ps, come on, your gorgeous so there are sooooo many men on here who will treat you lovely xx "
This  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds like a fantasist who is toying with you.
Get rid.
Use this experience as a learning curve and go enjoy.
As a footnote- I would be very careful about where you choose to have a social too. As a single female a public car park isn't the safest- maybe a coffee shop or pub? And tell someone you trust that you are 'dating' so that you can give them your whereabouts and check-in too x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok I'm new ish to this. I've been chatting to a guy for over a week now. I get hundreds of messages but he's really nice.
Anyway every time I update my status or when I had another social he wasnt too happy and messaged me. He said its normal for a bloke to be competitive.
So we've had a few socials arranged and he's had to change them for whatever reason. I do know he's nervous.
Tonight we were supposed to meet but he forgot he had a party to go to. I'm gutted so suggested a quick meet before the party as its only 2 mins away from me. He's agreed but keeps saying it can only be for a few mins. I'm actually going out to wait in a public parking place to meet him for a few mins!
Cut the story short but I'm finding it hard work. Should it be like this? And should I be chatting to a few guys if I like them? "
Was this guy a exceptional male?
Meaning was he very handsome with lots of hot pics? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So even the 5 min quick meet has now been cancelled. He's miles away waiting for his brother to get ready.
You're right I'm worth more than this. Just fed up now.
"
Just move on. Swinging is all about enjoyment, not being messed around and told who you can talk/meet etc. If you like this guy then let him do the running and look for other guys to have some fun with. I'm sure there are meny who would be happy to meet  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So even the 5 min quick meet has now been cancelled. He's miles away waiting for his brother to get ready.
You're right I'm worth more than this. Just fed up now.
"
never it's a fake profile and he isn't who he is makeing out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Seriously if this guy was a date you'd have ditched him. If he's acting this bizzare without having met you imagine once he has, It's got stalker weirdo written all over it! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ok I'm new ish to this. I've been chatting to a guy for over a week now. I get hundreds of messages but he's really nice.
Anyway every time I update my status or when I had another social he wasnt too happy and messaged me. He said its normal for a bloke to be competitive.
So we've had a few socials arranged and he's had to change them for whatever reason. I do know he's nervous.
Tonight we were supposed to meet but he forgot he had a party to go to. I'm gutted so suggested a quick meet before the party as its only 2 mins away from me. He's agreed but keeps saying it can only be for a few mins. I'm actually going out to wait in a public parking place to meet him for a few mins!
Cut the story short but I'm finding it hard work. Should it be like this? And should I be chatting to a few guys if I like them?
Was this guy a exceptional male?
Meaning was he very handsome with lots of hot pics? "
He's my type & ticked all the boxes yes. I know he though I was way too good for him. Which is ridiculous, so was nervous. And he would send recent pics..like he sent one to me tonight of him waiting in the car so I know he's not a cat fish x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok I'm new ish to this. I've been chatting to a guy for over a week now. I get hundreds of messages but he's really nice.
Anyway every time I update my status or when I had another social he wasnt too happy and messaged me. He said its normal for a bloke to be competitive.
So we've had a few socials arranged and he's had to change them for whatever reason. I do know he's nervous.
Tonight we were supposed to meet but he forgot he had a party to go to. I'm gutted so suggested a quick meet before the party as its only 2 mins away from me. He's agreed but keeps saying it can only be for a few mins. I'm actually going out to wait in a public parking place to meet him for a few mins!
Cut the story short but I'm finding it hard work. Should it be like this? And should I be chatting to a few guys if I like them?
Was this guy a exceptional male?
Meaning was he very handsome with lots of hot pics?
He's my type & ticked all the boxes yes. I know he though I was way too good for him. Which is ridiculous, so was nervous. And he would send recent pics..like he sent one to me tonight of him waiting in the car so I know he's not a cat fish x"
Well give him another chance if he is not catfish. You're a stunning woman and some good guys are just nervous and shy. Remember good things come to those who wait. He might be a diamond in the ruff.. Good luck |
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Unless you're dating someone, where you have an agreement between you that is exclusive, then the world is your oyster. Generally in life people shouldn't be restricting you to live your life as is right for you.
If someone becomes a bit too difficult for you, such as postponing too much, needing extra special conditions or treatment, then I think it's time to move on. And to question yourself if you're potentially too closely involved with someone that you've not actually met. Sometimes we want what we can't have - his elusiveness may be egging you on to want him even more. But if you're just after no strings sex, then consider approaching things a little differently.
Be a social butterfly, get to know plenty of people and find enjoyment in more places than just pending social/sexual meets. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Anyway every time I update my status or when I had another social he wasnt too happy and messaged me. He said its normal for a bloke to be competitive.
"
Sounds like he could become a problem in the future, if he is this possessive before you have even met. Personally, however much I might like him, I would ditch him. It has way too much potential for him to become a male bunny boiler. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Anyway every time I update my status or when I had another social he wasnt too happy and messaged me. He said its normal for a bloke to be competitive.
Sounds like he could become a problem in the future, if he is this possessive before you have even met. Personally, however much I might like him, I would ditch him. It has way too much potential for him to become a male bunny boiler."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok I'm new ish to this. I've been chatting to a guy for over a week now. I get hundreds of messages but he's really nice.
Anyway every time I update my status or when I had another social he wasnt too happy and messaged me. He said its normal for a bloke to be competitive.
So we've had a few socials arranged and he's had to change them for whatever reason. I do know he's nervous.
Tonight we were supposed to meet but he forgot he had a party to go to. I'm gutted so suggested a quick meet before the party as its only 2 mins away from me. He's agreed but keeps saying it can only be for a few mins. I'm actually going out to wait in a public parking place to meet him for a few mins!
Cut the story short but I'm finding it hard work. Should it be like this? And should I be chatting to a few guys if I like them? "
Babe , having looked at your pics and profile of his binning you off for a party.... He's a fool!!! And yes s you should keep chatting to guys you like!!! I only wish I leaves nearer |
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If this guy was genuine he'd be re-arranging vanilla things if he could to try and meet you for five or ten mins, not making excuses.
Personally we would block him and move on. It sounds like he's just stringing you along.
You don't deserve that, no one does.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After all this guy has done , not turning up, making excuses, forgetting parties, making you wait in a car park.....you're still defending him?....he may not be a catfish, but something smells fishy. |
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give him elbow