FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Ladies, what do you look for when guys Pm you?
Ladies, what do you look for when guys Pm you?
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My response rates have been somewhat lacklustre. I suspect it's a combination of my profile and messages.
Iw tailor each message based on the females or couples profile. I'm trying not to come over overly explicit and more friendly, however it doesn't seem to be working. So I thought I'd ask the women of fab what immediately draws them to a first message from a guy? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just normal chat and for the conversation to flow and someone you would chat to in real life. Always text the first thing that comes into your head and don't put too much thought into it. The forums are good as you have a subject of interest. Best chats I have had have been random x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My response rates have been somewhat lacklustre. I suspect it's a combination of my profile and messages.
Iw tailor each message based on the females or couples profile. I'm trying not to come over overly explicit and more friendly, however it doesn't seem to be working. So I thought I'd ask the women of fab what immediately draws them to a first message from a guy? "
Someone who has the ability to read our profile before contacting us, is polite, doesn't talk dirty(expecting me to get them off) and can hold a conversation 
Emma x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So honest opinions here please. Is it my profile, my pictures/looks or my messages that seem to be holding me back? "
You could listen to the advice given to you a few days ago? |
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I always look at their profile before opening their message. A 'will fill this in later' or 'new to this' in a profile which is over a year are an instant delete. Those that have that stoopid Sydney Uni warning which is often longer than their profile text get ignored. 25 pics of their cock from different, but equally unflattering angles, bye bye.
There is not a one size fits all approach to fab, you either interest me or you don't. |
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"So honest opinions here please. Is it my profile, my pictures/looks or my messages that seem to be holding me back?
You could listen to the advice given to you a few days ago?"
Now you are just being silly!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Face pic,if he has one. Then look to see if he can accommodate. Then where he lives and then read the profile text,if there is any."
This is exactly what I do too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So honest opinions here please. Is it my profile, my pictures/looks or my messages that seem to be holding me back? "
I'd lose the bit about being good looking as that comes across as being vain ...
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"Face pic,if he has one. Then look to see if he can accommodate. Then where he lives and then read the profile text,if there is any.
This is exactly what I do too "
Yes this for me to. I quite like your text although I would take out the gb bit, it's enough to have that listed as an interest. I think you need some more pics, different ones. There's only so many you need wearing a suit and tie, perhaps loose the suit but keep the tie  Also if you're going to have face pics on display the least you could do is smile! |
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Ok thanks all. I've listened to the feedback and updated the profile a little. Also added some body shots. I've always only had one cock shot so left it at that, although perhaps I could put a more flattering one as im worried some might think it's my fill size when it's a semi  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whoops what a plonker. Thanks for highlighting. All fixed now.
Now all I have to do is sit back and watch the ladies come to me right? "
It is much better than it was.
It is "ticking" them off, not "ticketing" them off.
You say that you can't host yet your summary indicates that you can accommodate. It is always wise to explain why. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If he's bothered to fill info about himself, height, number of veris (and the people he's been with!) location, if he can accommodate and i actually look in the background of pics! If there's clothes all over or it's really untidy it puts me off.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Or.......as I've just been winked, and messaged by a couple. How should I respond?
(Only joking....lol! I've been here long enough, and met enough people to know) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whoops what a plonker. Thanks for highlighting. All fixed now.
Now all I have to do is sit back and watch the ladies come to me right? "
Yeah...we're rootin for ya mate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My response rates have been somewhat lacklustre. I suspect it's a combination of my profile and messages.
Iw tailor each message based on the females or couples profile. I'm trying not to come over overly explicit and more friendly, however it doesn't seem to be working. So I thought I'd ask the women of fab what immediately draws them to a first message from a guy? "
A smiley face pic attached and some intelligent remarks with a hint of alpha male and a sexy scenario/suggestion in the message....please .....m x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree, you definitely need veris on show - I delete messages from guys with no veris. Your message needs to be original and eye catching without sounding desperate. The size of your cock or how long you go for wouldn't interest me in message 1  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After reading this thread , I'm starting to rethink my strategy of mass emailing " Fancy a fuck " with 10 cock pics from different angles. To all the couples in a 200 mile radius...
Thank you Op , you have convinced me to change my ways. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've seen a few of these threads and don't think there's a right answer really..folk often say different things.
I reckon just say hi and introduce yourself as you normally would, be yourself and don't look for a 'formula' to opening messages and just talk to people like normal people (as obvious as that sounds) then enough folk will decide to talk back. Not all but some will. Just remember, you can't please all the people all the time so just be you and you what's for you won't pass you by |
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"I've seen a few of these threads and don't think there's a right answer really..folk often say different things.
I reckon just say hi and introduce yourself as you normally would, be yourself and don't look for a 'formula' to opening messages and just talk to people like normal people (as obvious as that sounds) then enough folk will decide to talk back. Not all but some will. Just remember, you can't please all the people all the time so just be you and you what's for you won't pass you by "
Que sera seraaaaaaa |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hello Ethan . You come across well in this post BUT . You would not be our type as you are too young and too straight . There is nothing wring with your profile though . The only slight caveat we have is that we are not too keen in the : Rumpy Pumpy name
X. Rachel . Simone . Jon |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've seen a few of these threads and don't think there's a right answer really..folk often say different things.
I reckon just say hi and introduce yourself as you normally would, be yourself and don't look for a 'formula' to opening messages and just talk to people like normal people (as obvious as that sounds) then enough folk will decide to talk back. Not all but some will. Just remember, you can't please all the people all the time so just be you and you what's for you won't pass you by "
Easy to avoid the demanding people that want you to jump through hoops. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Confidence but not bravado. A good command of English.
More than two sentences.
Some indication they have read my profile."
Exactly! - same answer goes for me too...
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've seen a few of these threads and don't think there's a right answer really..folk often say different things.
I reckon just say hi and introduce yourself as you normally would, be yourself and don't look for a 'formula' to opening messages and just talk to people like normal people (as obvious as that sounds) then enough folk will decide to talk back. Not all but some will. Just remember, you can't please all the people all the time so just be you and you what's for you won't pass you by
Easy to avoid the demanding people that want you to jump through hoops. "
Yup. I just pretend it's real people i'm talking too (and i suspect those i'm writing too are just that...real people sat at home or wherever) and just chat that way...as if i was talking to someone normally.
If a person on the street started being all demanding i'm sure i'd loose interest as they were being a bit of a wanker and then just toddle off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never read the message first, I go straight to profile, if no public pics then I delete, if under 6ft I delete X"
There's one of the reasons, you are guilty of the heinous crime of being under 6' tall! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So honest opinions here please. Is it my profile, my pictures/looks or my messages that seem to be holding me back? "
You're fairly good looking (no homo), athletic and at least look like you're fairly successful in life. I imagine the body hair puts a fair few off, the majority on here seem to like you to remove anything below the eyebrows. So you can either stay hairy and have a smaller catchment group, or sell-out your principles and join the legions of hairless weirdos. It's up to you...
Other than that, the main thing that comes across from reading threads like this is that rather than looking for reasons to meet you, the women will look for reasons why they don't want to meet you. Eg height, build, age, (lack of) veris, etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Soz to jump in but how can you get veries if ladies only want to meet people who already have them ? Seems a problem to me "
And to add another complication, if someone veris you and then leaves the site or hides their profile, you lose the text from the veri so it looks like it's hidden... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My response rates have been somewhat lacklustre. I suspect it's a combination of my profile and messages.
Iw tailor each message based on the females or couples profile. I'm trying not to come over overly explicit and more friendly, however it doesn't seem to be working. So I thought I'd ask the women of fab what immediately draws them to a first message from a guy? "
A nice clear profile photo and a written message that has clearly been based on our profile. Not after an essay but not a one line text message either.
4-6 well written lines.
A good simple face pic helps as does a clear erect cock photo. We know a lot of couples do not appreciate the latter but this is a swing site. That's our take. |
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