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Falling for a mate.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've known this guy for 11 years, knew him from another site wayyyyyy before Facebook came popular.
We have the same sense of humour etc and he's really geeky.
Anyway, when he came to stay at my then husbands and my house we flirted a bit and then admitted to me a couple of years later he wanted to kiss me but had the bottle.
Then we didn't talk much, I had other things going on and as did he. We started chatting a lot more recently. He has a girlfriend..Which he's been with since 2011 I think.
Chatted on the phone for ages, shit ton of flirting. Stayed at his flat, nothing was on the cards just having a laugh.
So then the drinks started to flow and those feelings I had for him ages ago, came flooding back and he ended up kissing me and we did everything apart from sex. Slept in the same bed..Since his gf has came back from visiting family, he's become a bit more distant, not as flirty..or chatty. Even if I just wanted to chat as a mate on the phone he said he can't blah blah blah.
He knows how I feel about him and that I like him.(Not love) he says he likes me too but won't do anything about it and wants to see me again
And yet when I'm not happy with him he still accepts me to send him dirty pictures
I think he wants his cake and eating it.
Do I end this friendship and move on? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've known this guy for 11 years, knew him from another site wayyyyyy before Facebook came popular.
We have the same sense of humour etc and he's really geeky.
Anyway, when he came to stay at my then husbands and my house we flirted a bit and then admitted to me a couple of years later he wanted to kiss me but had the bottle.
Then we didn't talk much, I had other things going on and as did he. We started chatting a lot more recently. He has a girlfriend..Which he's been with since 2011 I think.
Chatted on the phone for ages, shit ton of flirting. Stayed at his flat, nothing was on the cards just having a laugh.
So then the drinks started to flow and those feelings I had for him ages ago, came flooding back and he ended up kissing me and we did everything apart from sex. Slept in the same bed..Since his gf has came back from visiting family, he's become a bit more distant, not as flirty..or chatty. Even if I just wanted to chat as a mate on the phone he said he can't blah blah blah.
He knows how I feel about him and that I like him.(Not love) he says he likes me too but won't do anything about it and wants to see me again
And yet when I'm not happy with him he still accepts me to send him dirty pictures
I think he wants his cake and eating it.
Do I end this friendship and move on? "
now you have taken it further its more than friendship, so I say yes...move on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Try not to be in one to initiate contact. He will soon come running if he realises he misses you. If not then you will know yourself it's time to move on.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not an easy situation. Maybe time to ask yourself some tough questions - Are you happy with the current situation? Will not having him in your life make you happier or not? Are you worth more than this? Time to think about what you need out of this friendship. Good luck and hugs xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've known this guy for 11 years, knew him from another site wayyyyyy before Facebook came popular.
We have the same sense of humour etc and he's really geeky.
Anyway, when he came to stay at my then husbands and my house we flirted a bit and then admitted to me a couple of years later he wanted to kiss me but had the bottle.
Then we didn't talk much, I had other things going on and as did he. We started chatting a lot more recently. He has a girlfriend..Which he's been with since 2011 I think.
Chatted on the phone for ages, shit ton of flirting. Stayed at his flat, nothing was on the cards just having a laugh.
So then the drinks started to flow and those feelings I had for him ages ago, came flooding back and he ended up kissing me and we did everything apart from sex. Slept in the same bed..Since his gf has came back from visiting family, he's become a bit more distant, not as flirty..or chatty. Even if I just wanted to chat as a mate on the phone he said he can't blah blah blah.
He knows how I feel about him and that I like him.(Not love) he says he likes me too but won't do anything about it and wants to see me again
And yet when I'm not happy with him he still accepts me to send him dirty pictures
I think he wants his cake and eating it.
Do I end this friendship and move on? "
I've been in similar situation for about 4 years now and over 4 years me and him have been friends on and off due to him having a girlfriend and me and him having loving feelings for each other(awkward) I do my best to be mature and respectful to the fact he's in a relationship.when our situation gets too complicated that's when I time out from him until me and him can control our loving feelings for each other.Right now futures Bright         |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sounds like a complete masterbaker to me.... But his balls seem to be in your court, so use him for what you want...time for you time "
Lol,If his Balls are in my court I wouldn't Nick him as much as I really want to score with him  |
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By *igal17Man
over a year ago
Ayr SW Scotland |
Sounds like he's taking advantage of the situation and getting without giving. Don't chase him, don't contact him and see what happens. If he only gets back in touch for his benefit, lose him. |
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By *igal17Man
over a year ago
Ayr SW Scotland |
PS Just looked at your profile - DON'T PUT YOURSELF DOWN! You're a bonny lass and most men would be more than happy to be in your company, if you get negative feedback accept that it's from losers and ignore it.
Rant over.
Take care. A x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't send my mates pictures of my arse.
Stop sending him pics if he is a friend. By now if something was gonna happen it would've happened so accept it. Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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one thing i've learned is that if you love someone then it's hard to detach from them. in some cases though you just have to do that and not hold onto any hope that they're going to love you back and respect you with the respect you deserve.
some will take advantage of you for caring about them and this will probably leave you feeling like shit. might hurt you for a while but you will learn from the experience.
up to you whether to take things further. maybe you need this lesson but it will change you forever and that's not always a bad thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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U wouldn't have posted here if u were happy with the situation. Something in u is making u wary about the inequality in ur relationship. Go with ur gut. U know what u need to do. |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
Hhmmmmm
I don't know you or the guy... But I'm not in the "end it now, you're worth more" camp.
Everyone has different needs and if this guy is putting a smile on your face then who cares what the relationship is?
He may be having cake and eating it... But so can you and you really can!!!
The only reason to end it is if it makes you unhappy. If you're able to take it for what it is then why not? It may end in tears, but relationships end in tears all the time.
Only you know the answer and no one on this forum has the right answer.
There's a way... Then there's another way!
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"I've known this guy for 11 years, knew him from another site wayyyyyy before Facebook came popular.
We have the same sense of humour etc and he's really geeky.
Anyway, when he came to stay at my then husbands and my house we flirted a bit and then admitted to me a couple of years later he wanted to kiss me but had the bottle.
Then we didn't talk much, I had other things going on and as did he. We started chatting a lot more recently. He has a girlfriend..Which he's been with since 2011 I think.
Chatted on the phone for ages, shit ton of flirting. Stayed at his flat, nothing was on the cards just having a laugh.
So then the drinks started to flow and those feelings I had for him ages ago, came flooding back and he ended up kissing me and we did everything apart from sex. Slept in the same bed..Since his gf has came back from visiting family, he's become a bit more distant, not as flirty..or chatty. Even if I just wanted to chat as a mate on the phone he said he can't blah blah blah.
He knows how I feel about him and that I like him.(Not love) he says he likes me too but won't do anything about it and wants to see me again
And yet when I'm not happy with him he still accepts me to send him dirty pictures
I think he wants his cake and eating it.
Do I end this friendship and move on? "
change your perception to him being a fuck biddy or friends with benefits. that's what you are to him...if you can handle that..then cool..of not. get talking to clear the air and got some closure and then move on x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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He's made it clear that he only wanted to stay friends. I shouldn't of gone further with him and now my friendship is down the pan.
I guess he didn't care about me after all.
A word of advice to myself. Do not fuck friends or have foreplay as it could ruin the friendship you once had.
Fucking angry and gutted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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seems like a dick to me booboo he admitted he wanted to kiss u but didnt have the bottle missed his chance but was happy to flirt etc with u and then got what he did from you BUT he only wanted to stay friends? takes 2 chick he knew what he was doing you deserve better than that |
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"I could be a right cunt and tell his girlfriend what's been going on but I'm not that harsh.
Woken up in a foul mood. "
I might make you feel better for an hour or so but you'd end up feeling crapper in the long run |
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