FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Why do single men .........
Why do single men .........
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok. We have all read the threads about how hard it is for single men to get meets on here. So why do they balls it up when they have the chance of a meet??
Three times in the last few days, similar scenario: get message from a single fella, he meets the criteria, few decent messages back and forth,face pics swapped, agree to a coffee meet to see if there is 'a connection' ......date/venue agreed ....then it starts....the constant 'how are u babe? What you doing? What u wearing? You having fun? 'You're making me hard.... Why??? Instant turn off. Why go from 'Mr ticking most of the boxes/let's see how this goes' to Mr 'I'm going to behave like a total dick' just cos a meet has been set?
I am NOT after profile advice. Speaking to fem friends this seems to happen a fair bit so I know it's not just me. But why??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok. We have all read the threads about how hard it is for single men to get meets on here. So why do they balls it up when they have the chance of a meet??
Three times in the last few days, similar scenario: get message from a single fella, he meets the criteria, few decent messages back and forth,face pics swapped, agree to a coffee meet to see if there is 'a connection' ......date/venue agreed ....then it starts....the constant 'how are u babe? What you doing? What u wearing? You having fun? 'You're making me hard.... Why??? Instant turn off. Why go from 'Mr ticking most of the boxes/let's see how this goes' to Mr 'I'm going to behave like a total dick' just cos a meet has been set?
I am NOT after profile advice. Speaking to fem friends this seems to happen a fair bit so I know it's not just me. But why???"
Yes we've had this,decided on a guy because he met our criteria and polite in messages then when meet agreed we got leading up to the day,"what are we gonna do " what are you gonna wear,one guy even TOLD Jackie what she should wear,needless to say he was binned |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I smiled when I read this, as can totally relate to it!
I've put it down to a mating ritual lol
Man's version of fluffing up his bright coloured feathers to charm and seduce you....
Unfortunately they fail to realise it's more of a turn off than a turn on!.....When will they learn just to be themselves...? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I smiled when I read this, as can totally relate to it!
I've put it down to a mating ritual lol
Man's version of fluffing up his bright coloured feathers to charm and seduce you....
Unfortunately they fail to realise it's more of a turn off than a turn on!.....When will they learn just to be themselves...? "
Exactly! It's like they think they have to behave a different way when they were doing just fine as they were. Oh well back to the drawing board lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok. We have all read the threads about how hard it is for single men to get meets on here. So why do they balls it up when they have the chance of a meet??
Three times in the last few days, similar scenario: get message from a single fella, he meets the criteria, few decent messages back and forth,face pics swapped, agree to a coffee meet to see if there is 'a connection' ......date/venue agreed ....then it starts....the constant 'how are u babe? What you doing? What u wearing? You having fun? 'You're making me hard.... Why??? Instant turn off. Why go from 'Mr ticking most of the boxes/let's see how this goes' to Mr 'I'm going to behave like a total dick' just cos a meet has been set?
I am NOT after profile advice. Speaking to fem friends this seems to happen a fair bit so I know it's not just me. But why???"
Typical insecure behaviour I would say. I can imagine its a massive put off for many fems |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh I had this last week, bloody nightmare! But there loss I say "
I have noticed that many blokes seem to go into desperation mode once they think they have what they see as an imminent meet. Very unbecoming. |
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As a single male, I would be happy to arrange the place and date, then not make any contact until the day before, to confirm.
But some people want me to make comments about what we will do, when we meet (oddly the ones who cancel or fade away)
I'm in favour of communication, but don't want to dictate a script.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Glad I read the post, I'm new to the site and maybe not fully clued up with the subtleties of the scene etiquette but getting the replies I can see is going to be the first hurdle. People see, newbie, no validations, so don't know what to expect. What I'll take from that is to try and avoid those questions and clueless comments. Thank you. |
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Look around the swinging clubs, if you use them, at the men that just sit there without talking to anyone or follow couples/single women around like sheep. Take note of the single men in the forums that find it difficult to get a meet. They're one and the same.
They may meet whatever criteria you require in a man when it comes to the physical/cock dimensions side of things, but you can never legislate for fuckwittery when you start communicating with them properly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't totally relate to this !!!
Had this twice this wk. One was a guy I was going to social with. Because I didn't respond in the way he wanted to his message informing of what he was doing over my pics he stood me up.
The 2nd - had a lovely message earlier which I did reply too. His follow up was an offer to go and sit on his face along with time restrictions 
total put off tbh
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As I'm not a single lady....not last time I looked down me top anyway...I haven't really come across this much. I'm quite surprised it happens. Certainly not something I would have even thought about doing...not even 5 years and God knows how many meets ago when I first started on here.
Is it a desperation thing? A confidence thing?
Perhaps it explains why so many women will only contemplate guys with a few verifications already...they should be less desperate maybe? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok. We have all read the threads about how hard it is for single men to get meets on here. So why do they balls it up when they have the chance of a meet??
Three times in the last few days, similar scenario: get message from a single fella, he meets the criteria, few decent messages back and forth,face pics swapped, agree to a coffee meet to see if there is 'a connection' ......date/venue agreed ....then it starts....the constant 'how are u babe? What you doing? What u wearing? You having fun? 'You're making me hard.... Why??? Instant turn off. Why go from 'Mr ticking most of the boxes/let's see how this goes' to Mr 'I'm going to behave like a total dick' just cos a meet has been set?
I am NOT after profile advice. Speaking to fem friends this seems to happen a fair bit so I know it's not just me. But why???"
Wait, how does this constutute behaving like a total dick?? |
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As a guy on here it's difficult to get meets, as a married guy on here it's near impossible. However the behaviour of some guys is ridiculous, I am interested in some play with men so they can contact me. So far I've had things like "fancy a fuck" to "want to suck me dry" but my all time favourite was "do you want to shit on my face" I feel for women on here putting up with some of the guys which in turn makes it hard for the good ones. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a couple that meets single men,we see this regularly.we now use it as a filter for future times and happy in the knowledge they have shown their true colours before we actually met. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One bloke asked what I was going to do to worship his huge cock.....
I made a song up to sing to it...
Oh Cock Supreme
Oh Cock Supreme,
I long to see you cream,
Oh cock delight,
Can't wait to suck you tonight,
Oh cock Devine,
How I wish you were mine,
Oh cock Supreme.
Sadly I never got the chance to sing to it, as I put off meeting him, probably just as well as his huge cock would have withered if I started singing, I sound worse than a squalling cat.XXX lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a guy on here it's difficult to get meets, as a married guy on here it's near impossible. However the behaviour of some guys is ridiculous, I am interested in some play with men so they can contact me. So far I've had things like "fancy a fuck" to "want to suck me dry" but my all time favourite was "do you want to shit on my face" I feel for women on here putting up with some of the guys which in turn makes it hard for the good ones. "
Ive had that. Its not fun
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why do SOME single men "
FFS! Why take it so personal? Of course not ALL single men do this. Maybe I should have re written it to say 'why do ALL single men who have messaged me in the last few days .....'
And you wonder why newbies don't post!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ok. We have all read the threads about how hard it is for single men to get meets on here. So why do they balls it up when they have the chance of a meet??
Three times in the last few days, similar scenario: get message from a single fella, he meets the criteria, few decent messages back and forth,face pics swapped, agree to a coffee meet to see if there is 'a connection' ......date/venue agreed ....then it starts....the constant 'how are u babe? What you doing? What u wearing? You having fun? 'You're making me hard.... Why??? Instant turn off. Why go from 'Mr ticking most of the boxes/let's see how this goes' to Mr 'I'm going to behave like a total dick' just cos a meet has been set?
I am NOT after profile advice. Speaking to fem friends this seems to happen a fair bit so I know it's not just me. But why???
Wait, how does this constutute behaving like a total dick??"
Because their behaviour changes. You have agreed to meet them and then they think they have to start relating everything to having sex with them.
Seeing as you don't see this as 'dickish' behaviour maybe you can enlighten me as to why this would happen...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do SOME single men
FFS! Why take it so personal? Of course not ALL single men do this. Maybe I should have re written it to say 'why do ALL single men who have messaged me in the last few days .....'
And you wonder why newbies don't post!! "
How did they message you?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think sometimes its just a matter of them getting a bit over excited a bit like a kid in a sweet shop!
Like you I do find it off putting, usually just a little mention that they are being a bit overbearing helps. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok. We have all read the threads about how hard it is for single men to get meets on here. So why do they balls it up when they have the chance of a meet??
Three times in the last few days, similar scenario: get message from a single fella, he meets the criteria, few decent messages back and forth,face pics swapped, agree to a coffee meet to see if there is 'a connection' ......date/venue agreed ....then it starts....the constant 'how are u babe? What you doing? What u wearing? You having fun? 'You're making me hard.... Why??? Instant turn off. Why go from 'Mr ticking most of the boxes/let's see how this goes' to Mr 'I'm going to behave like a total dick' just cos a meet has been set?
I am NOT after profile advice. Speaking to fem friends this seems to happen a fair bit so I know it's not just me. But why???
Wait, how does this constutute behaving like a total dick??
Because their behaviour changes. You have agreed to meet them and then they think they have to start relating everything to having sex with them.
Seeing as you don't see this as 'dickish' behaviour maybe you can enlighten me as to why this would happen......"
Well surely context comes into it doesnt it? Are ye chatting about sex at the time? How often is he messaging? Is he being rude? Etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On the other hand I was messaging a couple for a number of weeks and it was going really well. I was added as there friend so they knew what I looked like and a date was arranged for a meet.
The lady taking the lead, according to the messages, then 1 week prior to the meet I was removed as their friend. It all seemed a bit odd. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok. We have all read the threads about how hard it is for single men to get meets on here. So why do they balls it up when they have the chance of a meet??
Three times in the last few days, similar scenario: get message from a single fella, he meets the criteria, few decent messages back and forth,face pics swapped, agree to a coffee meet to see if there is 'a connection' ......date/venue agreed ....then it starts....the constant 'how are u babe? What you doing? What u wearing? You having fun? 'You're making me hard.... Why??? Instant turn off. Why go from 'Mr ticking most of the boxes/let's see how this goes' to Mr 'I'm going to behave like a total dick' just cos a meet has been set?
I am NOT after profile advice. Speaking to fem friends this seems to happen a fair bit so I know it's not just me. But why???
Wait, how does this constutute behaving like a total dick??
Because their behaviour changes. You have agreed to meet them and then they think they have to start relating everything to having sex with them.
Seeing as you don't see this as 'dickish' behaviour maybe you can enlighten me as to why this would happen......"
I have experienced this and find it very off putting too. I find it proprietary and presumptuous as I feel that it sounds like they think they are definitely going to have sex with you ...err..in Costa ...no thanks.
Or worse they start to say let's just skip coffee because we are getting on so well and don't need to waste time having coffee babe 
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ok. We have all read the threads about how hard it is for single men to get meets on here. So why do they balls it up when they have the chance of a meet??
Three times in the last few days, similar scenario: get message from a single fella, he meets the criteria, few decent messages back and forth,face pics swapped, agree to a coffee meet to see if there is 'a connection' ......date/venue agreed ....then it starts....the constant 'how are u babe? What you doing? What u wearing? You having fun? 'You're making me hard.... Why??? Instant turn off. Why go from 'Mr ticking most of the boxes/let's see how this goes' to Mr 'I'm going to behave like a total dick' just cos a meet has been set?
I am NOT after profile advice. Speaking to fem friends this seems to happen a fair bit so I know it's not just me. But why???
Wait, how does this constutute behaving like a total dick??
Because their behaviour changes. You have agreed to meet them and then they think they have to start relating everything to having sex with them.
Seeing as you don't see this as 'dickish' behaviour maybe you can enlighten me as to why this would happen......
Well surely context comes into it doesnt it? Are ye chatting about sex at the time? How often is he messaging? Is he being rude? Etc."
I can only describe it as changing from a normal conversation to arrange a meet. Friendly banter. Nothing sexual to flicking a switch and changing to sexual 'fancy a fuck' type mentality conversation. This is not just one fella. Three over a few days and similar with other friends off here. All now blocked as definitely won't be meeting. Back to just meeting single men in clubs. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ok. We have all read the threads about how hard it is for single men to get meets on here. So why do they balls it up when they have the chance of a meet??
Three times in the last few days, similar scenario: get message from a single fella, he meets the criteria, few decent messages back and forth,face pics swapped, agree to a coffee meet to see if there is 'a connection' ......date/venue agreed ....then it starts....the constant 'how are u babe? What you doing? What u wearing? You having fun? 'You're making me hard.... Why??? Instant turn off. Why go from 'Mr ticking most of the boxes/let's see how this goes' to Mr 'I'm going to behave like a total dick' just cos a meet has been set?
I am NOT after profile advice. Speaking to fem friends this seems to happen a fair bit so I know it's not just me. But why???
Wait, how does this constutute behaving like a total dick??
Because their behaviour changes. You have agreed to meet them and then they think they have to start relating everything to having sex with them.
Seeing as you don't see this as 'dickish' behaviour maybe you can enlighten me as to why this would happen......
I have experienced this and find it very off putting too. I find it proprietary and presumptuous as I feel that it sounds like they think they are definitely going to have sex with you ...err..in Costa ...no thanks.
Or worse they start to say let's just skip coffee because we are getting on so well and don't need to waste time having coffee babe
"
Now if it was Starbucks .....Just maybe lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok. We have all read the threads about how hard it is for single men to get meets on here. So why do they balls it up when they have the chance of a meet??
Three times in the last few days, similar scenario: get message from a single fella, he meets the criteria, few decent messages back and forth,face pics swapped, agree to a coffee meet to see if there is 'a connection' ......date/venue agreed ....then it starts....the constant 'how are u babe? What you doing? What u wearing? You having fun? 'You're making me hard.... Why??? Instant turn off. Why go from 'Mr ticking most of the boxes/let's see how this goes' to Mr 'I'm going to behave like a total dick' just cos a meet has been set?
I am NOT after profile advice. Speaking to fem friends this seems to happen a fair bit so I know it's not just me. But why???
Wait, how does this constutute behaving like a total dick??
Because their behaviour changes. You have agreed to meet them and then they think they have to start relating everything to having sex with them.
Seeing as you don't see this as 'dickish' behaviour maybe you can enlighten me as to why this would happen......
I have experienced this and find it very off putting too. I find it proprietary and presumptuous as I feel that it sounds like they think they are definitely going to have sex with you ...err..in Costa ...no thanks.
Or worse they start to say let's just skip coffee because we are getting on so well and don't need to waste time having coffee babe
Now if it was Starbucks .....Just maybe lol "
I prefer Costa myself...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I state from the beginning that he don't engage in sex talk. If there's any hint on the profile that the man may be the type to do this I don't talk to them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I state from the beginning that he don't engage in sex talk. If there's any hint on the profile that the man may be the type to do this I don't talk to them. "
I used to do this too. Maybe I've gone a little slack in my old age (insert own joke) lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I state from the beginning that he don't engage in sex talk. If there's any hint on the profile that the man may be the type to do this I don't talk to them.
I used to do this too. Maybe I've gone a little slack in my old age (insert own joke) lol."
doesn't stop some trying,they get blanked. People have to remember that because they are horny it doesn't mean others are. |
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By *ammskiMan
over a year ago
lytham st.annes |
"I state from the beginning that he don't engage in sex talk. If there's any hint on the profile that the man may be the type to do this I don't talk to them.
I used to do this too. Maybe I've gone a little slack in my old age (insert own joke) lol."
. It says on your profile" no single men" so how are they messaging you ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I state from the beginning that he don't engage in sex talk. If there's any hint on the profile that the man may be the type to do this I don't talk to them.
I used to do this too. Maybe I've gone a little slack in my old age (insert own joke) lol.. It says on your profile" no single men" so how are they messaging you ? "
Sometimes we take the filters off. Believe it or not |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I state from the beginning that he don't engage in sex talk. If there's any hint on the profile that the man may be the type to do this I don't talk to them.
I used to do this too. Maybe I've gone a little slack in my old age (insert own joke) lol.. It says on your profile" no single men" so how are they messaging you ?
Sometimes we take the filters off. Believe it or not "
Did someone say filters? Suddenly I fancy a decent coffee. |
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"I had a social once, and then the very next message I received was 'so when are we playing?' Now that presumptuous behaviour pissed me off  "
We had similar recently, met a guy last year for social and didn't click. Have recently spoken again and decided we'll meet said gent in a club and see how things go. His response was "that's great, cos I HAVE been really patient with you for about a year so far" , that's kind of him, we thought... |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"I had a social once, and then the very next message I received was 'so when are we playing?' Now that presumptuous behaviour pissed me off We had similar recently, met a guy last year for social and didn't click. Have recently spoken again and decided we'll meet said gent in a club and see how things go. His response was "that's great, cos I HAVE been really patient with you for about a year so far" , that's kind of him, we thought... "
Maybe he meant that he hasn't hassled you since the social meet and he is pleased you have arranged a meet with him
It can be read both ways |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"I had a social once, and then the very next message I received was 'so when are we playing?' Now that presumptuous behaviour pissed me off We had similar recently, met a guy last year for social and didn't click. Have recently spoken again and decided we'll meet said gent in a club and see how things go. His response was "that's great, cos I HAVE been really patient with you for about a year so far" , that's kind of him, we thought... "
I didn't even get a 'hi, it was good to meet you' or anything like that, just 'when are we playing' totally off putting  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I state from the beginning that he don't engage in sex talk. If there's any hint on the profile that the man may be the type to do this I don't talk to them.
I used to do this too. Maybe I've gone a little slack in my old age (insert own joke) lol.. It says on your profile" no single men" so how are they messaging you ? "
Because I don't have filters on. So guess what - they can message me. If I wanted profile advice I will ask for it. If I don't I will state in my OP......oh wait!! |
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"I had a social once, and then the very next message I received was 'so when are we playing?' Now that presumptuous behaviour pissed me off We had similar recently, met a guy last year for social and didn't click. Have recently spoken again and decided we'll meet said gent in a club and see how things go. His response was "that's great, cos I HAVE been really patient with you for about a year so far" , that's kind of him, we thought...
Maybe he meant that he hasn't hassled you since the social meet and he is pleased you have arranged a meet with him
It can be read both ways"
yeah perhaps, good point |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"I state from the beginning that he don't engage in sex talk. If there's any hint on the profile that the man may be the type to do this I don't talk to them.
I used to do this too. Maybe I've gone a little slack in my old age (insert own joke) lol.. It says on your profile" no single men" so how are they messaging you ?
Because I don't have filters on. So guess what - they can message me. If I wanted profile advice I will ask for it. If I don't I will state in my OP......oh wait!! "
that is a filter |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a social once, and then the very next message I received was 'so when are we playing?' Now that presumptuous behaviour pissed me off We had similar recently, met a guy last year for social and didn't click. Have recently spoken again and decided we'll meet said gent in a club and see how things go. His response was "that's great, cos I HAVE been really patient with you for about a year so far" , that's kind of him, we thought...
Maybe he meant that he hasn't hassled you since the social meet and he is pleased you have arranged a meet with him
It can be read both ways"
Nope... that was a definite dig. Obvious. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"I had a social once, and then the very next message I received was 'so when are we playing?' Now that presumptuous behaviour pissed me off We had similar recently, met a guy last year for social and didn't click. Have recently spoken again and decided we'll meet said gent in a club and see how things go. His response was "that's great, cos I HAVE been really patient with you for about a year so far" , that's kind of him, we thought...
Maybe he meant that he hasn't hassled you since the social meet and he is pleased you have arranged a meet with him
It can be read both ways
Nope... that was a definite dig. Obvious."
oh okay then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's sad but some guys seriously don't know how to cumminicate on a normal level. Guys that act like that give us normal guys a bad name. We are not all like that, some of us are chilled no matter if there's a meet set up or not.
Ps: some guys need lessons on how to relax be themselves and chat to woman |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We had a social meet arranged a couple of weeks ago in Cardiff. . Lovely messages then on the day we got a message asking for fem to wear her highest heels.. asked why as it's a social.. The reply was well if we all get on we might as well play.. blocked. |
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"I had a social once, and then the very next message I received was 'so when are we playing?' Now that presumptuous behaviour pissed me off We had similar recently, met a guy last year for social and didn't click. Have recently spoken again and decided we'll meet said gent in a club and see how things go. His response was "that's great, cos I HAVE been really patient with you for about a year so far" , that's kind of him, we thought... "
sorry but have to ask if you didn't click on a social why would you even think about arranging a second meeting in a club of all places to see how things go?  |
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"I had a social once, and then the very next message I received was 'so when are we playing?' Now that presumptuous behaviour pissed me off We had similar recently, met a guy last year for social and didn't click. Have recently spoken again and decided we'll meet said gent in a club and see how things go. His response was "that's great, cos I HAVE been really patient with you for about a year so far" , that's kind of him, we thought...
sorry but have to ask if you didn't click on a social why would you even think about arranging a second meeting in a club of all places to see how things go? "
Because he was one of the very first people we met on here and after a period of re-assessment over our first year, the penny dropped that he was a nice guy and POSSIBLY would fit what we were looking for. which we initially thought he didn't. Hence agreeing to a second meet in a club (but , as everyone knows, sex in clubs is not guaranteed)to meet again and see if we would progress. Make sense? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I thought that us single men were getting a raw deal until i read my own messages.
"Car fun" nothing else whats that about
reply "yes it is I love driving it".
"Want to meet up and chat sometime"
reply "Thats fine I want to meet new people"
Next message "i'll do you up the a***".
I totally sympathise with the girls and couples on here.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's sad but some guys seriously don't know how to cumminicate on a normal level. Guys that act like that give us normal guys a bad name. We are not all like that, some of us are chilled no matter if there's a meet set up or not.
Ps: some guys need lessons on how to relax be themselves and chat to woman "
I don't agree with the 'guys that act like this/that/the other give us good guys a bad name/make it harder for us' etc
The 'bad' guys make the 'good' guys stand out all the more |
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"I had a social once, and then the very next message I received was 'so when are we playing?' Now that presumptuous behaviour pissed me off We had similar recently, met a guy last year for social and didn't click. Have recently spoken again and decided we'll meet said gent in a club and see how things go. His response was "that's great, cos I HAVE been really patient with you for about a year so far" , that's kind of him, we thought...
sorry but have to ask if you didn't click on a social why would you even think about arranging a second meeting in a club of all places to see how things go? Because he was one of the very first people we met on here and after a period of re-assessment over our first year, the penny dropped that he was a nice guy and POSSIBLY would fit what we were looking for. which we initially thought he didn't. Hence agreeing to a second meet in a club (but , as everyone knows, sex in clubs is not guaranteed)to meet again and see if we would progress. Make sense?"
Yep makes perfect sense when you put it like that although I would of opted for a second social rather than a club meet myself |
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"It's sad but some guys seriously don't know how to cumminicate on a normal level. Guys that act like that give us normal guys a bad name. We are not all like that, some of us are chilled no matter if there's a meet set up or not.
Ps: some guys need lessons on how to relax be themselves and chat to woman
I don't agree with the 'guys that act like this/that/the other give us good guys a bad name/make it harder for us' etc
The 'bad' guys make the 'good' guys stand out all the more "
Thank you
|
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"I had a social once, and then the very next message I received was 'so when are we playing?' Now that presumptuous behaviour pissed me off We had similar recently, met a guy last year for social and didn't click. Have recently spoken again and decided we'll meet said gent in a club and see how things go. His response was "that's great, cos I HAVE been really patient with you for about a year so far" , that's kind of him, we thought...
sorry but have to ask if you didn't click on a social why would you even think about arranging a second meeting in a club of all places to see how things go? Because he was one of the very first people we met on here and after a period of re-assessment over our first year, the penny dropped that he was a nice guy and POSSIBLY would fit what we were looking for. which we initially thought he didn't. Hence agreeing to a second meet in a club (but , as everyone knows, sex in clubs is not guaranteed)to meet again and see if we would progress. Make sense?
Yep makes perfect sense when you put it like that although I would of opted for a second social rather than a club meet myself "
Horses for courses, we've changed a lot since joining the site and as a known quantity, a second meet in the bar area of a club enables progressing to play OR a polite no depending how it goes. But at least it made sense this time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a social once, and then the very next message I received was 'so when are we playing?' Now that presumptuous behaviour pissed me off We had similar recently, met a guy last year for social and didn't click. Have recently spoken again and decided we'll meet said gent in a club and see how things go. His response was "that's great, cos I HAVE been really patient with you for about a year so far" , that's kind of him, we thought...
sorry but have to ask if you didn't click on a social why would you even think about arranging a second meeting in a club of all places to see how things go? "
Being a cheeky American with no filter , I'm starting to see a trend in the forums...
People post negative things about single males and then say " THAT'S WHY WE ONLY MEET IN CLUBS "
This must be new age marketing for clubs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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WOW! I had no idea this actually went on?
I can expect that sort of behaviour from teenagers but not grown men.
Well we are all different after all. I've not massively experienced the first stages yet of message conversation let alone stage 2 and a meet.
Having said that, I wouldn't resort to the immature behaviour of messaging such nonsense anyway.
It's definitely a turn off, without a doubt
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I thought that us single men were getting a raw deal until i read my own messages.
"Car fun" nothing else whats that about
reply "yes it is I love driving it".
"Want to meet up and chat sometime"
reply "Thats fine I want to meet new people"
Next message "i'll do you up the a***".
I totally sympathise with the girls and couples on here.
"
Sorry, I was feeling horny when I sent you those messages. I won't do it again  |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"WOW! I had no idea this actually went on?
I can expect that sort of behaviour from teenagers but not grown men.
Well we are all different after all. I've not massively experienced the first stages yet of message conversation let alone stage 2 and a meet.
Having said that, I wouldn't resort to the immature behaviour of messaging such nonsense anyway.
It's definitely a turn off, without a doubt
"
You can borrow my mail box any day and you can see for yourself
(joke mods before I get a ban!)  |
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"I had a social once, and then the very next message I received was 'so when are we playing?' Now that presumptuous behaviour pissed me off We had similar recently, met a guy last year for social and didn't click. Have recently spoken again and decided we'll meet said gent in a club and see how things go. His response was "that's great, cos I HAVE been really patient with you for about a year so far" , that's kind of him, we thought...
sorry but have to ask if you didn't click on a social why would you even think about arranging a second meeting in a club of all places to see how things go? Because he was one of the very first people we met on here and after a period of re-assessment over our first year, the penny dropped that he was a nice guy and POSSIBLY would fit what we were looking for. which we initially thought he didn't. Hence agreeing to a second meet in a club (but , as everyone knows, sex in clubs is not guaranteed)to meet again and see if we would progress. Make sense?
Yep makes perfect sense when you put it like that although I would of opted for a second social rather than a club meet myself Horses for courses, we've changed a lot since joining the site and as a known quantity, a second meet in the bar area of a club enables progressing to play OR a polite no depending how it goes. But at least it made sense this time "
lol ok fair enough if it works for you than cool but i just think alot of guys who are invited to a second meeting in a club(after a social) would be thinking something is likely to happen or you wouldn't of invited for a second meeting at that venue but hey what do i know  |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"I thought that us single men were getting a raw deal until i read my own messages.
"Car fun" nothing else whats that about
reply "yes it is I love driving it".
"Want to meet up and chat sometime"
reply "Thats fine I want to meet new people"
Next message "i'll do you up the a***".
I totally sympathise with the girls and couples on here.
Sorry, I was feeling horny when I sent you those messages. I won't do it again "
You crack me up at times  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh I had this last week, bloody nightmare! But there loss I say
I have noticed that many blokes seem to go into desperation mode once they think they have what they see as an imminent meet. Very unbecoming. "
This is so true lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I thought that us single men were getting a raw deal until i read my own messages.
"Car fun" nothing else whats that about
reply "yes it is I love driving it".
"Want to meet up and chat sometime"
reply "Thats fine I want to meet new people"
Next message "i'll do you up the a***".
I totally sympathise with the girls and couples on here.
Sorry, I was feeling horny when I sent you those messages. I won't do it again
You crack me up at times "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It makes it damn hard for us decent single guys to meet people, especially if your older, even just socially. Take heart tho there are still some gentlemen around. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok. We have all read the threads about how hard it is for single men to get meets on here. So why do they balls it up when they have the chance of a meet??
Three times in the last few days, similar scenario: get message from a single fella, he meets the criteria, few decent messages back and forth,face pics swapped, agree to a coffee meet to see if there is 'a connection' ......date/venue agreed ....then it starts....the constant 'how are u babe? What you doing? What u wearing? You having fun? 'You're making me hard.... Why??? Instant turn off. Why go from 'Mr ticking most of the boxes/let's see how this goes' to Mr 'I'm going to behave like a total dick' just cos a meet has been set?
I am NOT after profile advice. Speaking to fem friends this seems to happen a fair bit so I know it's not just me. But why???"
Quite possibly this guy was a total dick all along, just managed to be on his best behaviour for a while....Once he thought he had an in, he just let the facade slip.
I suppose you could always dictate terms and conditions (some people do need to be told exactly what to do) 'ok...We've arranged to meet..now don't /do act like an over excited puppy' that should just about do the trick. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It makes it damn hard for us decent single guys to meet people, especially if your older, even just socially. Take heart tho there are still some gentlemen around."
No it doesn't.it makes it easier. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I thought that us single men were getting a raw deal until i read my own messages.
"Car fun" nothing else whats that about
reply "yes it is I love driving it".
"Want to meet up and chat sometime"
reply "Thats fine I want to meet new people"
Next message "i'll do you up the a***".
I totally sympathise with the girls and couples on here.
Sorry, I was feeling horny when I sent you those messages. I won't do it again "
Scrolling down and read this...just knew it was you |
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This is why I no longer exchange phone numbers. If you need to contact me you can do it through the site (I can get onto the site anywhere and anywhen) and I have enough verifications to say I'm genuine and if I say I'll be there I'll be there.
The final straw was the guy I arranged to meet a couple of days ahead who kept messaging me to chat. I replied politely but explained that I was away with work and was (surprise surprise) working so couldn't really chat.
Anyway, my phone kept going off whilst I was busy so I put it in another room so it didn't disturb anyone. When I got back to it an hour and a half later there was a succession of messages that started chatty, then got "why are you ignoring me" and went all the way to "you think this is funny?! Why won't you answer? Are you messing with me?" and then called me all kinds of names for leading him on!
After I sent one message telling him how inappropriate it was to message me constantly when I was at work and we hadn't even met and then saying he'd maneuvered himself out of a meet he bombarded me with apologies till I had to download an app to block him.
Tldr: don't f*ck up a good thing by pushing. |
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"It makes it damn hard for us decent single guys to meet people, especially if your older, even just socially. Take heart tho there are still some gentlemen around."
Do you honestly believe that the behaviour of others has a direct impact on the amount of meets you don't manage to arrange? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I thought that us single men were getting a raw deal until i read my own messages.
"Car fun" nothing else whats that about
reply "yes it is I love driving it".
"Want to meet up and chat sometime"
reply "Thats fine I want to meet new people"
Next message "i'll do you up the a***".
I totally sympathise with the girls and couples on here.
Sorry, I was feeling horny when I sent you those messages. I won't do it again
Scrolling down and read this...just knew it was you "
I couldn't resist it!! |
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"It makes it damn hard for us decent single guys to meet people, especially if your older, even just socially. Take heart tho there are still some gentlemen around."
No it doesn't. If I want a meet I'll arrange a meet, if you're that guy then I'll be very straightforward about what I expect.
I don't need a gentleman and I certainly don't want a guy who keeps telling me he's a gentleman. I simply want a guy who will make an arrangement and stick to it then we take it from the actual meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok. We have all read the threads about how hard it is for single men to get meets on here. So why do they balls it up when they have the chance of a meet??
Three times in the last few days, similar scenario: get message from a single fella, he meets the criteria, few decent messages back and forth,face pics swapped, agree to a coffee meet to see if there is 'a connection' ......date/venue agreed ....then it starts....the constant 'how are u babe? What you doing? What u wearing? You having fun? 'You're making me hard.... Why??? Instant turn off. Why go from 'Mr ticking most of the boxes/let's see how this goes' to Mr 'I'm going to behave like a total dick' just cos a meet has been set?
I am NOT after profile advice. Speaking to fem friends this seems to happen a fair bit so I know it's not just me. But why???"
I appreciate what you are saying and I understand what sort of pestering you get, but it sounds like you are tarnishing all single men with the same brush.
I'm sure not all are like this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It is called respect. I pride myself on treating any lady or couple with total respect,from first message to meet and beyond. This is not a meat market nor is it a shagfest, it is like minded people indulging in adult fun. To me respect is everything. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ok. We have all read the threads about how hard it is for single men to get meets on here. So why do they balls it up when they have the chance of a meet??
Three times in the last few days, similar scenario: get message from a single fella, he meets the criteria, few decent messages back and forth,face pics swapped, agree to a coffee meet to see if there is 'a connection' ......date/venue agreed ....then it starts....the constant 'how are u babe? What you doing? What u wearing? You having fun? 'You're making me hard.... Why??? Instant turn off. Why go from 'Mr ticking most of the boxes/let's see how this goes' to Mr 'I'm going to behave like a total dick' just cos a meet has been set?
I am NOT after profile advice. Speaking to fem friends this seems to happen a fair bit so I know it's not just me. But why???
I appreciate what you are saying and I understand what sort of pestering you get, but it sounds like you are tarnishing all single men with the same brush.
I'm sure not all are like this. "
If that I'd how you have chosen to misinterpreted my post then there is nothing I can do about that. At no point do I say ALL men, however some chose to jump on that issue. I have met many lovely men over the years. Of course I know not all are dicks. What I am asking is why do men who chose to do this, do it? Why spoil the chance of a meet by acting like this.
If you fit into this catagory then please speak out and throw some light on the subject. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It is called respect. I pride myself on treating any lady or couple with total respect,from first message to meet and beyond. This is not a meat market nor is it a shagfest, it is like minded people indulging in adult fun. To me respect is everything. "
This
I look at Fab as a very open and upfront platform for meeting like minded people but that doesn't mean respect has to go out of the window |
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"This is why I no longer exchange phone numbers. If you need to contact me you can do it through the site (I can get onto the site anywhere and anywhen) and I have enough verifications to say I'm genuine and if I say I'll be there I'll be there.
The final straw was the guy I arranged to meet a couple of days ahead who kept messaging me to chat. I replied politely but explained that I was away with work and was (surprise surprise) working so couldn't really chat.
Anyway, my phone kept going off whilst I was busy so I put it in another room so it didn't disturb anyone. When I got back to it an hour and a half later there was a succession of messages that started chatty, then got "why are you ignoring me" and went all the way to "you think this is funny?! Why won't you answer? Are you messing with me?" and then called me all kinds of names for leading him on!
After I sent one message telling him how inappropriate it was to message me constantly when I was at work and we hadn't even met and then saying he'd maneuvered himself out of a meet he bombarded me with apologies till I had to download an app to block him.
Tldr: don't f*ck up a good thing by pushing."
I had to block someone on my phone/whatsapp/fab a couple of years back when I was a newbie for constantly pestering!
I told him I wasn't up for meeting any time soon as my grandad had just died and he still kept pushing! Even mithering me after he asked what I was up to and I said shopping for a dress for the funeral |
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Are these all guys who's public pictures are just of their dick from multiple angles?
All jokes aside (actually that's not a joke, the above is a clear red flag) anytime you're in a scene like this there's going to be a lot of filtering out that crap. Sucks that they got to the planned meeting phase before losing their shit though. |
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"Ok. We have all read the threads about how hard it is for single men to get meets on here. So why do they balls it up when they have the chance of a meet??
Three times in the last few days, similar scenario: get message from a single fella, he meets the criteria, few decent messages back and forth,face pics swapped, agree to a coffee meet to see if there is 'a connection' ......date/venue agreed ....then it starts....the constant 'how are u babe? What you doing? What u wearing? You having fun? 'You're making me hard.... Why??? Instant turn off. Why go from 'Mr ticking most of the boxes/let's see how this goes' to Mr 'I'm going to behave like a total dick' just cos a meet has been set?
I am NOT after profile advice. Speaking to fem friends this seems to happen a fair bit so I know it's not just me. But why???
I appreciate what you are saying and I understand what sort of pestering you get, but it sounds like you are tarnishing all single men with the same brush.
I'm sure not all are like this. "
We're not tarnishing all men, we simply have to adjust our approach to avoid the numpties and the pestering. When meeting strangers off the internet it's sensible to have ground rules. It's not unreasonable to state those ground rules and hopefully the other party will understand why they exist and respect that. The other party is always free to pass if they want to play by different rules.
If we thought all single men are the same we wouldn't still be here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Maybe a couple more boxes should be added to tick off first...that might help...or change a few boxes..... just myinitial thought as I read the OP."
PMSL I'm hardly a newbie. If I add anymore boxes to tick I may as well get them to complete a 60 page questionnaire. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've had two in the last few days .... 6:30 this morning on Kik telling me he didn't want to go to work he would rather be filling me with cum !!!!
And 7:30 another 'dick' asking if couple swapping was classed as 1-1 because I only do 1-1 !!!! Are you actually serious I'm in bed I was asleep !!!!  |
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"This is why I no longer exchange phone numbers. If you need to contact me you can do it through the site (I can get onto the site anywhere and anywhen) and I have enough verifications to say I'm genuine and if I say I'll be there I'll be there.
The final straw was the guy I arranged to meet a couple of days ahead who kept messaging me to chat. I replied politely but explained that I was away with work and was (surprise surprise) working so couldn't really chat.
Anyway, my phone kept going off whilst I was busy so I put it in another room so it didn't disturb anyone. When I got back to it an hour and a half later there was a succession of messages that started chatty, then got "why are you ignoring me" and went all the way to "you think this is funny?! Why won't you answer? Are you messing with me?" and then called me all kinds of names for leading him on!
After I sent one message telling him how inappropriate it was to message me constantly when I was at work and we hadn't even met and then saying he'd maneuvered himself out of a meet he bombarded me with apologies till I had to download an app to block him.
Tldr: don't f*ck up a good thing by pushing.
I had to block someone on my phone/whatsapp/fab a couple of years back when I was a newbie for constantly pestering!
I told him I wasn't up for meeting any time soon as my grandad had just died and he still kept pushing! Even mithering me after he asked what I was up to and I said shopping for a dress for the funeral "
Forgive my ignorance, but what is 'mithering'? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is why I no longer exchange phone numbers. If you need to contact me you can do it through the site (I can get onto the site anywhere and anywhen) and I have enough verifications to say I'm genuine and if I say I'll be there I'll be there.
The final straw was the guy I arranged to meet a couple of days ahead who kept messaging me to chat. I replied politely but explained that I was away with work and was (surprise surprise) working so couldn't really chat.
Anyway, my phone kept going off whilst I was busy so I put it in another room so it didn't disturb anyone. When I got back to it an hour and a half later there was a succession of messages that started chatty, then got "why are you ignoring me" and went all the way to "you think this is funny?! Why won't you answer? Are you messing with me?" and then called me all kinds of names for leading him on!
After I sent one message telling him how inappropriate it was to message me constantly when I was at work and we hadn't even met and then saying he'd maneuvered himself out of a meet he bombarded me with apologies till I had to download an app to block him.
Tldr: don't f*ck up a good thing by pushing.
I had to block someone on my phone/whatsapp/fab a couple of years back when I was a newbie for constantly pestering!
I told him I wasn't up for meeting any time soon as my grandad had just died and he still kept pushing! Even mithering me after he asked what I was up to and I said shopping for a dress for the funeral
Forgive my ignorance, but what is 'mithering'?"
Worrying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is why I no longer exchange phone numbers. If you need to contact me you can do it through the site (I can get onto the site anywhere and anywhen) and I have enough verifications to say I'm genuine and if I say I'll be there I'll be there.
The final straw was the guy I arranged to meet a couple of days ahead who kept messaging me to chat. I replied politely but explained that I was away with work and was (surprise surprise) working so couldn't really chat.
Anyway, my phone kept going off whilst I was busy so I put it in another room so it didn't disturb anyone. When I got back to it an hour and a half later there was a succession of messages that started chatty, then got "why are you ignoring me" and went all the way to "you think this is funny?! Why won't you answer? Are you messing with me?" and then called me all kinds of names for leading him on!
After I sent one message telling him how inappropriate it was to message me constantly when I was at work and we hadn't even met and then saying he'd maneuvered himself out of a meet he bombarded me with apologies till I had to download an app to block him.
Tldr: don't f*ck up a good thing by pushing.
I had to block someone on my phone/whatsapp/fab a couple of years back when I was a newbie for constantly pestering!
I told him I wasn't up for meeting any time soon as my grandad had just died and he still kept pushing! Even mithering me after he asked what I was up to and I said shopping for a dress for the funeral
Forgive my ignorance, but what is 'mithering'?
Worrying "
Wittling on,hassling |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok. We have all read the threads about how hard it is for single men to get meets on here. So why do they balls it up when they have the chance of a meet??
Three times in the last few days, similar scenario: get message from a single fella, he meets the criteria, few decent messages back and forth,face pics swapped, agree to a coffee meet to see if there is 'a connection' ......date/venue agreed ....then it starts....the constant 'how are u babe? What you doing? What u wearing? You having fun? 'You're making me hard.... Why??? Instant turn off. Why go from 'Mr ticking most of the boxes/let's see how this goes' to Mr 'I'm going to behave like a total dick' just cos a meet has been set?
I am NOT after profile advice. Speaking to fem friends this seems to happen a fair bit so I know it's not just me. But why???"
Do you tell them you don't want any dirty talk or do you just block them when they start with the sex talk? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Maybe a couple more boxes should be added to tick off first...that might help...or change a few boxes..... just myinitial thought as I read the OP.
PMSL I'm hardly a newbie. If I add anymore boxes to tick I may as well get them to complete a 60 page questionnaire. "
Well I can join in with the sarcasm if you like but I avoided it in my first comment....but seems like you have a problem or you wouldn't have posted. So going back to what I suggested...maybe you've got the wrong boxes.....or simpler put so you dont misunderstand maybe you're attracting the wrong type. It's not as if there aren't a lot of genuine guys or maybe you've gone through the current deck and need to wait for a new shuffle. ... |
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"This is why I no longer exchange phone numbers. If you need to contact me you can do it through the site (I can get onto the site anywhere and anywhen) and I have enough verifications to say I'm genuine and if I say I'll be there I'll be there.
The final straw was the guy I arranged to meet a couple of days ahead who kept messaging me to chat. I replied politely but explained that I was away with work and was (surprise surprise) working so couldn't really chat.
Anyway, my phone kept going off whilst I was busy so I put it in another room so it didn't disturb anyone. When I got back to it an hour and a half later there was a succession of messages that started chatty, then got "why are you ignoring me" and went all the way to "you think this is funny?! Why won't you answer? Are you messing with me?" and then called me all kinds of names for leading him on!
After I sent one message telling him how inappropriate it was to message me constantly when I was at work and we hadn't even met and then saying he'd maneuvered himself out of a meet he bombarded me with apologies till I had to download an app to block him.
Tldr: don't f*ck up a good thing by pushing.
I had to block someone on my phone/whatsapp/fab a couple of years back when I was a newbie for constantly pestering!
I told him I wasn't up for meeting any time soon as my grandad had just died and he still kept pushing! Even mithering me after he asked what I was up to and I said shopping for a dress for the funeral
Forgive my ignorance, but what is 'mithering'?"
Sorry it's a northern thing pestering/annoying me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because it's
Fab E Harmony !!
Yes a little d*unk
Yes amused at my own update !!
But OP !!
I feel your pain !!
If I wanted a relationship I wouldn't be on fab !!
Men want their cake and to eat it !!
Pardon the pun ( as I giggle to myself)
OP your sexy and hot, and the guy's want that and you to themselves but want to play the fab field also :-/
As a friend put it to me, the day he asks me for a veri, is the day he knows he is using me to make himself look creditable ...
We have never met in a sexual way but have become firm friends
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe a couple more boxes should be added to tick off first...that might help...or change a few boxes..... just myinitial thought as I read the OP.
PMSL I'm hardly a newbie. If I add anymore boxes to tick I may as well get them to complete a 60 page questionnaire.
Well I can join in with the sarcasm if you like but I avoided it in my first comment....but seems like you have a problem or you wouldn't have posted. So going back to what I suggested...maybe you've got the wrong boxes.....or simpler put so you dont misunderstand maybe you're attracting the wrong type. It's not as if there aren't a lot of genuine guys or maybe you've gone through the current deck and need to wait for a new shuffle. ..."
And as I put in my OP I don't need profile advice. Friends on here have gone through the same, as have ladies and couples who have posted on here. What my OP is asking is why do SOME (don't want to upset people) men do this. No need to go off track of the OP thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One bloke asked what I was going to do to worship his huge cock.....
I made a song up to sing to it...
Oh Cock Supreme
Oh Cock Supreme,
I long to see you cream,
Oh cock delight,
Can't wait to suck you tonight,
Oh cock Devine,
How I wish you were mine,
Oh cock Supreme.
Sadly I never got the chance to sing to it, as I put off meeting him, probably just as well as his huge cock would have withered if I started singing, I sound worse than a squalling cat.XXX lol"
Never had anyone sing to my cock before lol. Was one lass that started singing when she came which was a new experience... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In answer to the op. We all have a level of who we find attractive. Some swing and are happy from the act of swinging. Most like to stay within the attractive zone.
Men outnumbered means higher level men will engage with lower level women attractive wise. But when it comes to it they don't bother.
I only engage with women I find attractive, I don't lead on anyone. But it is a man thing to know that 'she would have'. An ego boost.
Just a thought from me in an attempt to answer the question. Not meant to belittle anyone in any way. Of course I might also be wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe a couple more boxes should be added to tick off first...that might help...or change a few boxes..... just myinitial thought as I read the OP.
PMSL I'm hardly a newbie. If I add anymore boxes to tick I may as well get them to complete a 60 page questionnaire.
Well I can join in with the sarcasm if you like but I avoided it in my first comment....but seems like you have a problem or you wouldn't have posted. So going back to what I suggested...maybe you've got the wrong boxes.....or simpler put so you dont misunderstand maybe you're attracting the wrong type. It's not as if there aren't a lot of genuine guys or maybe you've gone through the current deck and need to wait for a new shuffle. ...
And as I put in my OP I don't need profile advice. Friends on here have gone through the same, as have ladies and couples who have posted on here. What my OP is asking is why do SOME (don't want to upset people) men do this. No need to go off track of the OP thanks. "
To answer your question-who knows why. You would have to ask each man individually to get your answer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can we take this opportunity to apologise to wasp hunter, this might be a smidge off the subject... But ... Clubscenario... It's the same... Why ? We used to feel sorry for the single male, but they just need to learn the art of seduction and patience.. I don't know anyone who can close a deal without gaining rapport
Same applies in this world !!!!
Rapport rapport rapport... Titts out, fanny out !! Job done |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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because that first approach, well they've taken the advice they've been given on here on how to get women to talk to them.
once they feel comfortable with you and reckon you're a sure thing then they also feel comfortable showing their true intentions.
it's why i stopped advising crap men on how to interact on this site with women because they're wasting our time by being fake. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"because that first approach, well they've taken the advice they've been given on here on how to get women to talk to them.
once they feel comfortable with you and reckon you're a sure thing then they also feel comfortable showing their true intentions.
it's why i stopped advising crap men on how to interact on this site with women because they're wasting our time by being fake."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it's any consolation I'm finding single women bad at the moment! Recently I thought I was quite selective...
One we chatted for ages exchanged kik, planned a meet then she disappeared, the other arranged a hotel meet but as she didn't confirm it or contact me after I am glad I didn't book the room!
Sadly I guess it's just the nature of the site and frustrating... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If it's any consolation I'm finding single women bad at the moment! Recently I thought I was quite selective...
One we chatted for ages exchanged kik, planned a meet then she disappeared, the other arranged a hotel meet but as she didn't confirm it or contact me after I am glad I didn't book the room!
Sadly I guess it's just the nature of the site and frustrating..."
...sadly across the spectrum if forum is to go by.
Pick yourself up dust down the jacket and move on. Happens to all of us....and the number of veries they have can sometimes mean they've a few on the pulse and don't make anyone more reliable....experience has shown that.
The only reliable one is the one you're with at that time. Like an MOT....its only as good as the moment it's issued and don't presume. Or you might find yourself on the forum asking questions that have no definitive answer....and that can eat away at your confidence. |
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"because that first approach, well they've taken the advice they've been given on here on how to get women to talk to them.
once they feel comfortable with you and reckon you're a sure thing then they also feel comfortable showing their true intentions.
it's why i stopped advising crap men on how to interact on this site with women because they're wasting our time by being fake."
Well at least that's one person who has stopped teaching certain men how not to be themselves. |
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"because that first approach, well they've taken the advice they've been given on here on how to get women to talk to them.
once they feel comfortable with you and reckon you're a sure thing then they also feel comfortable showing their true intentions.
it's why i stopped advising crap men on how to interact on this site with women because they're wasting our time by being fake.
Well at least that's one person who has stopped teaching certain men how not to be themselves."
LOL |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On the other hand I sent a polite message to a verified couple yesterday, got a message back asking when I could meet, to which I replied. Was then deleted, and no more contact.
Ah well, keep on keeping on. |
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"As a single male, I would be happy to arrange the place and date, then not make any contact until the day before, to confirm.
But some people want me to make comments about what we will do, when we meet (oddly the ones who cancel or fade away)
I'm in favour of communication, but don't want to dictate a script.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In a word? Pressure.
Pressure to ensure they get to meet, pressure to have sex, pressure to actually get it up, pressure not to come too early, pressure - belatedly - to check their partner enjoyed it, pressure to ensure they get what they were actually looking for . . a verification.
Pressure . . that they alone put themselves under. |
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Mmm interesting topic, I do agre that alot of single guys are just down and out
tossers...but that just"some",as well as some couples are no different like I said my priority is not couples not to say I won't meet any coz I have met a few who are simply fantastic, and I prefer making connection at parties and socials other than here simply coz of the ratio, I guess its just me we all differ, I remember arranging a meet with a fine looking couple from Orpington after emailing each other for a while I told them I could accommodate but they insisted I go to theirs and when I did get there and when I did they weren't home snd turned off their phones lol , do I guess no one is exempt from such people id rather take each person as individual even though this couple made me bite the dust I won't place every couple in this category ....but still alot of single fellas need to raise their own game....I focus on mine and im a damn good player lol x |
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"On the other hand I sent a polite message to a verified couple yesterday, got a message back asking when I could meet, to which I replied. Was then deleted, and no more contact.
Ah well, keep on keeping on. "
We've had similar experiences. They are quite mind-boggling. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why do single men even exist? lets just kill them all
Nooooo - I have uses for them: my bath needs running, ironing to do lol "
Oh great, do mine when you're at it, there's a good lass  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"why do single men even exist? lets just kill them all
Nooooo - I have uses for them: my bath needs running, ironing to do lol
Oh great, do mine when you're at it, there's a good lass "
Let's make these fookers work lol. Anyone else got ironing? I need a button sewing on too |
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"Typical insecure behaviour I would say. I can imagine its a massive put off for many fems"
Oooh, Interesting! I love hearing the man's point of _iew.
And yes, guys do this to me and get binned immediately. It's only those who don't that I end up meeting. And as I am normally a club meety kinda girl, those who don't behave like twats Im keen to meet again (which can give the wrong impression when not meaning to, too!)
Ive recently had a conversation with a married fabber and whilst I don't normally go there, am starting to think that it's actually easier. It is easier. Far less stressful....
Love this learning journey! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok. We have all read the threads about how hard it is for single men to get meets on here. So why do they balls it up when they have the chance of a meet??
Three times in the last few days, similar scenario: get message from a single fella, he meets the criteria, few decent messages back and forth,face pics swapped, agree to a coffee meet to see if there is 'a connection' ......date/venue agreed ....then it starts....the constant 'how are u babe? What you doing? What u wearing? You having fun? 'You're making me hard.... Why??? Instant turn off. Why go from 'Mr ticking most of the boxes/let's see how this goes' to Mr 'I'm going to behave like a total dick' just cos a meet has been set?
I am NOT after profile advice. Speaking to fem friends this seems to happen a fair bit so I know it's not just me. But why???"
well if you haven't worked it out by now, here is the reason...
a lot of (but not all) single men on here think that getting the green light for a social meet equates to being given the sole opportunity to impress whoever they are meeting in whatever way possible....
so that means not becoming mr 'I'm going to behave like a total dick' but reverting back to that persona once the mr 'ticking most of the boxes' persona has served its purpose! it was always there, but it was just lurking under the surface ready to pounce once given the green light to do so |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ok. We have all read the threads about how hard it is for single men to get meets on here. So why do they balls it up when they have the chance of a meet??
Three times in the last few days, similar scenario: get message from a single fella, he meets the criteria, few decent messages back and forth,face pics swapped, agree to a coffee meet to see if there is 'a connection' ......date/venue agreed ....then it starts....the constant 'how are u babe? What you doing? What u wearing? You having fun? 'You're making me hard.... Why??? Instant turn off. Why go from 'Mr ticking most of the boxes/let's see how this goes' to Mr 'I'm going to behave like a total dick' just cos a meet has been set?
I am NOT after profile advice. Speaking to fem friends this seems to happen a fair bit so I know it's not just me. But why???
well if you haven't worked it out by now, here is the reason...
a lot of (but not all) single men on here think that getting the green light for a social meet equates to being given the sole opportunity to impress whoever they are meeting in whatever way possible....
so that means not becoming mr 'I'm going to behave like a total dick' but reverting back to that persona once the mr 'ticking most of the boxes' persona has served its purpose! it was always there, but it was just lurking under the surface ready to pounce once given the green light to do so "
I think this hits the nail on the head buuuut I may just get them to agree to do my ironing before I arrange a meet in future. |
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"Typical insecure behaviour I would say. I can imagine its a massive put off for many fems
Oooh, Interesting! I love hearing the man's point of _iew.
And yes, guys do this to me and get binned immediately. It's only those who don't that I end up meeting. And as I am normally a club meety kinda girl, those who don't behave like twats Im keen to meet again (which can give the wrong impression when not meaning to, too!)
Ive recently had a conversation with a married fabber and whilst I don't normally go there, am starting to think that it's actually easier. It is easier. Far less stressful....
Love this learning journey!"
Married doesn't necessarily mean easier. It can mean "I can only meet between 11 and 2, I know you want to meet in a public place for your safety but I insist on coming to your house and if you won't hand out your address I'll suggest you're lying and are hiding your behaviour, don't wear perfume or strong makeup, I can't shower as I don't want to smell of different shower gel, I want your number but you can't call or text me I'll contact you"...
And it goes on. I've heard all of those often from one person. It didn't take me long to decide married/attached men are not for me. |
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