FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Perspective needed please

Perspective needed please

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hi this is probably the wrong place to seek advice but I need a bit of advice/perspective.

I was playing with the male half of a couple (they play separately). Well long story short feelings got involved on bother sides...but I overstepped the mark and got tearful....Tad girly and silly but I'm an emotional person. Well I'm now blocked/deleted etc etc. I'm gutted to say the least as I can't explain or defend myself.

Do I just put up and shut up and move on or go to his house to at least end things decently so I don't feel like a total dick

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Please be nice and don't judge me ....i'm feeling fragile

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Just leave it. They don't want to know.

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By *inchyorksMan over a year ago

huddersfield

going to his house would make things worse in my opinion, think you just have to put it down to experience and move on, easy to say, hard to do i know xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi this is probably the wrong place to seek advice but I need a bit of advice/perspective.

Do I just put up and shut up and move on or go to his house to at least end things decently so I don't feel like a total dick

They've made their feelings quite clear. No good can come of going to their house other than to make you look needy and stalkerish...

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By *anky_PankyWoman over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

Yup I hate to say it, it's horrible when things go wrong, but the site is generally NSA and as he had a partner you need to respect that x.

Move on OP plenty of fish in the sea and fucks on fab x

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By *izzy.Woman over a year ago

Stoke area

Sadly you need to move on. Definitely don't turn up at the house. If you really want to end things being able to explain yourself, then put something in writing. Wait 24 hours and re-read it. Then if it is factual and not emotional waffle, post it.

I am sorry for how you are feeling today. I guess several of us, me included, have been in a similar position.

Learn from this experience. XX

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

By your own admission you overstepped the mark. You need to respect their decision.

Sounds a bit blunt...but really the only thing to do.

Move on, lesson learned.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sadly you need to move on. Definitely don't turn up at the house. If you really want to end things being able to explain yourself, then put something in writing. Wait 24 hours and re-read it. Then if it is factual and not emotional waffle, post it.

I am sorry for how you are feeling today. I guess several of us, me included, have been in a similar position.

Learn from this experience. XX"

Oh thank you for that support. I really appreciate it...tried to pm you but Im not a site supporter at the mo x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Yup I hate to say it, it's horrible when things go wrong, but the site is generally NSA and as he had a partner you need to respect that x.

Move on OP plenty of fish in the sea and fucks on fab x"

Thank you....I met him on his single profile....no word of a wife for bout 2 months and lots of over nights at his house.....they were on a break lol! Then wife came back and I tried to just see it as nsa but he had told me he loved me.....I didn't stand a chance did I????

Oh well..you live and learn

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yup I hate to say it, it's horrible when things go wrong, but the site is generally NSA and as he had a partner you need to respect that x.

Move on OP plenty of fish in the sea and fucks on fab x

Oh well..you live and learn "

It sounds like he's been a little economical with the truth. But either way, if someone has blocked you, then just see that as a clear intention, they think it's for the best. When did you meet?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yup I hate to say it, it's horrible when things go wrong, but the site is generally NSA and as he had a partner you need to respect that x.

Move on OP plenty of fish in the sea and fucks on fab x

Oh well..you live and learn "

Well then I feel really sorry for you. He lied to you and strung you along. It's not like you fell for him and knew about the wife. Bastard

Don't go to the house. Walk away with dignity.

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By *anky_PankyWoman over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

"Yup I hate to say it, it's horrible when things go wrong, but the site is generally NSA and as he had a partner you need to respect that x.

Move on OP plenty of fish in the sea and fucks on fab x

Oh well..you live and learn

Well then I feel really sorry for you. He lied to you and strung you along. It's not like you fell for him and knew about the wife. Bastard

Don't go to the house. Walk away with dignity."

Yup I agree with above.

Lots of people get mislead and treated wrong on here by idiots if various forms - me included.

But never again for me - it's ALL nsa and they don't get an option to hurt me. My lesson learnt a very hard way x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yup I hate to say it, it's horrible when things go wrong, but the site is generally NSA and as he had a partner you need to respect that x.

Move on OP plenty of fish in the sea and fucks on fab x

Oh well..you live and learn

Well then I feel really sorry for you. He lied to you and strung you along. It's not like you fell for him and knew about the wife. Bastard

Don't go to the house. Walk away with dignity.

Yup I agree with above.

Lots of people get mislead and treated wrong on here by idiots if various forms - me included.

But never again for me - it's ALL nsa and they don't get an option to hurt me. My lesson learnt a very hard way x"

Another agree from me.... don't give him the satisfaction of knowing you're still thinking about him x

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By *rs Mia WallaceWoman over a year ago

Bathwyche

Yep, ive been stung by the married one too.

The one playing away from his couples profile (without her knowledge)

Why do they use emotional hooks!??

Single guys on here certainly dont.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm afraid you have to respect this couples choice.

They're swingers and letting you in to play is just for fun. Feelings are a no no so if he started to get them too or even if he didn't, they've chosen to push you away so this doesn't damage what they have.

Respect it. Lick your wounds. Earn from it and move on.

Do not pester them. That's for you not them.

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By *anky_PankyWoman over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

I will just point out though that even though there are blocks in place these people can read the forums.

I know this from my idiot ex

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Yup I hate to say it, it's horrible when things go wrong, but the site is generally NSA and as he had a partner you need to respect that x.

Move on OP plenty of fish in the sea and fucks on fab x

Oh well..you live and learn

It sounds like he's been a little economical with the truth. But either way, if someone has blocked you, then just see that as a clear intention, they think it's for the best. When did you meet?"

Met in Feb....had 3 months of 'dating' type thing b4 him and his wife decided to get back together

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I will just point out though that even though there are blocks in place these people can read the forums.

I know this from my idiot ex

I don't care if he reads it. I have nothing to hide....I've Benn honest and behaved properly at all times.

But thank you for saying that, good advice

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nothing worse than falling for someone who was supposed to be nsa only. I did the same, and paid a very dear emotional price for it.

Walk away and never ever look back. It firmly belongs in the past.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Nothing worse than falling for someone who was supposed to be nsa only. I did the same, and paid a very dear emotional price for it.

Walk away and never ever look back. It firmly belongs in the past. "

Thank you x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I started to fall for a guy. His fault for being so damn hot and holding me as we slept after hours and hours of fun!

I ran away. Blocked him.

Now I'm over it. We're talking and planning some more fun. No overnight stays though!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I started to fall for a guy. His fault for being so damn hot and holding me as we slept after hours and hours of fun!

I ran away. Blocked him.

Now I'm over it. We're talking and planning some more fun. No overnight stays though!

That was the problem....the dating stuff, cooking together, shopping together, dog walking etc etc and sleeping over night....fucks with your head....how cud he do that??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I started to fall for a guy. His fault for being so damn hot and holding me as we slept after hours and hours of fun!

I ran away. Blocked him.

Now I'm over it. We're talking and planning some more fun. No overnight stays though!

That was the problem....the dating stuff, cooking together, shopping together, dog walking etc etc and sleeping over night....fucks with your head....how cud he do that??"

Mine kept asking if I was in love with him. It was like he wanted me to be. Kept telling me I was 'girlfriend material'.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I started to fall for a guy. His fault for being so damn hot and holding me as we slept after hours and hours of fun!

I ran away. Blocked him.

Now I'm over it. We're talking and planning some more fun. No overnight stays though!

That was the problem....the dating stuff, cooking together, shopping together, dog walking etc etc and sleeping over night....fucks with your head....how cud he do that??

Mine kept asking if I was in love with him. It was like he wanted me to be. Kept telling me I was 'girlfriend material'. "

He actually told me he loved me!!!

We told each other often.

It was so wrong of him

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I started to fall for a guy. His fault for being so damn hot and holding me as we slept after hours and hours of fun!

I ran away. Blocked him.

Now I'm over it. We're talking and planning some more fun. No overnight stays though!

That was the problem....the dating stuff, cooking together, shopping together, dog walking etc etc and sleeping over night....fucks with your head....how cud he do that??

Mine kept asking if I was in love with him. It was like he wanted me to be. Kept telling me I was 'girlfriend material'.

He actually told me he loved me!!!

We told each other often.

It was so wrong of him"

I think you have to accept that things went wrong and you've now got to move on. It's not right to break up their marriage and it's for them to deal with how they go forward, but without you.

You also need to think if you want to carry on in this lifestyle and how you stop this happening again. Perhaps don't meet attached men without their partner, or stick to single men only.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Any talk of love and I'm off or I tell them it's not going to happen so leave or accept it.

In your situation OP I would put him to the back of your mind and chalk it up to experience.

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By *eavenscentitCouple over a year ago

barnstaple

He probably did mean it at that time...men go with the easiest situation. His marriage is obviously this. Move on, do not contact him or her. Regroup your emotions and hold onto your dignity.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Feel for you. But Walk away and draw a line under this one for your own sake. You will make things worse if you pursue this. Folk sometimes have odd reasons for doing things - don't waste energies trying to analyse.

Plenty other guys on here very keen to meet....trust me!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I feel for you too but it had clearly turned into an affair and his wife has realised and reigned him in.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I feel for you too but it had clearly turned into an affair and his wife has realised and reigned him in.

I think you cud be right....he stopped the stopping over once she moved back....guess she didn't realise wot had been going on in her house and bed before....it wasn't swinging it was an affair.....thank you all so much for your words. It's really helped me xxx

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By *eliciousladyWoman over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

I feel for you and your sadness, but as another post says 'keep your dignity' and move on. Yes it will be difficult, but in time you will look back and accept how you coped with the situation and be able to advise and sympathise with others.

Maybe he did/does love you and perhaps he now wants to try again with his marriage. Who knows.

Stay positive, it's happened to many of us and we're still smiling and happy

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By *ENGUYMan over a year ago

Hull

I suppose it could be said that there was always the chance that he and his wife could get back together again which of course could impact on you.

But in other respects, he hasn't been honest with you and you got suckered! Emotions are so complex in any type of relationship.

But be the better person here, think of yourself and don't drag yourself down to his level, just hold your head high, move on and put it down to experience!

Have fun!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I feel for you too but it had clearly turned into an affair and his wife has realised and reigned him in.

The forums really can help bring clarity at times.

I wish you well xxx

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By *anky_PankyWoman over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

"I will just point out though that even though there are blocks in place these people can read the forums.

I know this from my idiot ex

I don't care if he reads it. I have nothing to hide....I've Benn honest and behaved properly at all times.

But thank you for saying that, good advice "

Wasn't suggesting you have for a moment - just making sure you are aware lovely x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hold your head up high as you have done nothing wrong, you were sadly duped by promises of what could be and no doubt as happened to countless people on here xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I will just point out though that even though there are blocks in place these people can read the forums.

I know this from my idiot ex

I don't care if he reads it. I have nothing to hide....I've Benn honest and behaved properly at all times.

But thank you for saying that, good advice

Wasn't suggesting you have for a moment - just making sure you are aware lovely x"

Thank you

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By *ancs MinxWoman over a year ago

Burnley

"Just leave it. They don't want to know. "

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I started to fall for a guy. His fault for being so damn hot and holding me as we slept after hours and hours of fun!

I ran away. Blocked him.

Now I'm over it. We're talking and planning some more fun. No overnight stays though!

That was the problem....the dating stuff, cooking together, shopping together, dog walking etc etc and sleeping over night....fucks with your head....how cud he do that??"

Men do it all the time on this and every other site, to boost their ego, or to keep a woman at their beck and call. You did nothing wrong, he deceived you, end of. Go find someone with a six pack and a big willy!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I started to fall for a guy. His fault for being so damn hot and holding me as we slept after hours and hours of fun!

I ran away. Blocked him.

Now I'm over it. We're talking and planning some more fun. No overnight stays though!

That was the problem....the dating stuff, cooking together, shopping together, dog walking etc etc and sleeping over night....fucks with your head....how cud he do that??

Ooohh good idea....any men with 6 packs and a good willy available? ?? Please feel free to contact me lol x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yup I hate to say it, it's horrible when things go wrong, but the site is generally NSA and as he had a partner you need to respect that x.

Move on OP plenty of fish in the sea and fucks on fab x

Oh well..you live and learn

Well then I feel really sorry for you. He lied to you and strung you along. It's not like you fell for him and knew about the wife. Bastard

Don't go to the house. Walk away with dignity.

Yup I agree with above.

Lots of people get mislead and treated wrong on here by idiots if various forms - me included.

But never again for me - it's ALL nsa and they don't get an option to hurt me. My lesson learnt a very hard way x"

As females, we can be very easily ruled by our hearts especially when the male of the species tells us that he loves us, whether he is free to love elsewhere or not. You need to realise that he was having his cake and eating it. Were they really on a break? She might have just been working away and he had full balls. If he had been honest, rather than playing with your feelings, then you wouldn't be feeling this way. If he had been up front and said NSA only, you would not have ended up in this state. You do need to realise that he isn't interested in you. If he wanted to see/speak to you, he would move heaven and earth to do so. He has blanked you, it is the most cowardly form of 'dumping' someone - ever. Beats a text or an email hands-down. If I sound like I know what I am talking about, I do. But likewise, never again.

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By *andomfodCouple over a year ago

walsall

"Hi this is probably the wrong place to seek advice but I need a bit of advice/perspective.

Do I just put up and shut up and move on or go to his house to at least end things decently so I don't feel like a total dick

They've made their feelings quite clear. No good can come of going to their house other than to make you look needy and stalkerish..."

Exactly this. You will look clingy if you go over. As much as you'd like closure, if feelings got involved from his side too, he is protecting his relationship.

Good luck, OP.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I've had one attached fellow chasing me for months, he came back and said 'Oh it's alright, we can meet now we're on a break, even though most of her stuff is still here.....'

Yeah right.

I have avoided married men so far as I look for people who can accomm at home, but if the existance of a wife or partner is still not in evidence....??

There is no good way to end it, you just have to make other plans and work out how to avoid the same trap again.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I've had one attached fellow chasing me for months, he came back and said 'Oh it's alright, we can meet now we're on a break, even though most of her stuff is still here.....'

Yeah right.

I have avoided married men so far as I look for people who can accomm at home, but if the existance of a wife or partner is still not in evidence....??

There is no good way to end it, you just have to make other plans and work out how to avoid the same trap again.

Good luck

There was no evidence of her at all....but I'm feeling much better now....takes a few others kind words to be able to move on

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

I am sorry for how you are feeling today. I guess several of us, me included, have been in a similar position.

Learn from this experience. XX"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"going to his house would make things worse in my opinion, think you just have to put it down to experience and move on, easy to say, hard to do i know xx"

This...

Don't go round.....Respect their space and definately their place. You're not alone on here. Show maturity and move on though it may be very hard for a while but don't look back there. They may be reading this post too. Learn from each encounter.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I started to fall for a guy. His fault for being so damn hot and holding me as we slept after hours and hours of fun!

I ran away. Blocked him.

Now I'm over it. We're talking and planning some more fun. No overnight stays though!

That was the problem....the dating stuff, cooking together, shopping together, dog walking etc etc and sleeping over night....fucks with your head....how cud he do that??

Mine kept asking if I was in love with him. It was like he wanted me to be. Kept telling me I was 'girlfriend material'.

He actually told me he loved me!!!

We told each other often.

It was so wrong of him

I think you have to accept that things went wrong and you've now got to move on. It's not right to break up their marriage and it's for them to deal with how they go forward, but without you.

You also need to think if you want to carry on in this lifestyle and how you stop this happening again. Perhaps don't meet attached men without their partner, or stick to single men only."

as far as I can tell the only thing that went wrong was that the wife came back...although he should not have led the OP on in the first place but we all know that these situations do happen...but only if we let them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yup I hate to say it, it's horrible when things go wrong, but the site is generally NSA and as he had a partner you need to respect that x.

Move on OP plenty of fish in the sea and fucks on fab x

Oh well..you live and learn

Well then I feel really sorry for you. He lied to you and strung you along. It's not like you fell for him and knew about the wife. Bastard

Don't go to the house. Walk away with dignity."

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By *ilacWoman over a year ago

Cheshire

"Hi this is probably the wrong place to seek advice but I need a bit of advice/perspective.

Do I just put up and shut up and move on or go to his house to at least end things decently so I don't feel like a total dick

Why do you care about ending things decently if he treated you the way he has? By going round to his house, you'll probably cause issues between him and his wife. That's the only motivation I see for going to his home.

It doesn't matter what you say to defend yourself, if he's a liar, he'll just manipulate the situation and his wife will most likely believe him over you.

Distraction works best. Find someone else to give your time and attention to.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He's a prick. Forget him. Approaching them would achieve what exactly?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This may be more common than anyone would care to admit, so please don't feel that you have been foolish.

It can be hard to separate feelings . emotional feelings and physical feelings.

It is quite understandable that you would wish to part as friends but...if they have made it clear that you are now out of the loop it's probably best to leave it at that.

Any attempt to contact either partner against their wishes could be seen as interfering in their relationship and it is unlikely that any good would come from it.

Deep breaths..put on your brightest smile and move on...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi this is probably the wrong place to seek advice but I need a bit of advice/perspective.

Do I just put up and shut up and move on or go to his house to at least end things decently so I don't feel like a total dick

You need to sort your emotions out by yourself, do not go to them. Find out what the cause is and deal with that before you meet again.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm very sorry this happened to you. You didn't deserve this and I hope you become a stronger person because of this.

But I think you should go over to his house and demand answers. You're not a piece of thrash that can be used and thrown in the rubbish bin.

Talk to the wife also , let her know what a real winner she has for a husband... And if they have a bunny as a pet , say goodbye to that bunny.. That will show him not to hurt you and will discourage him from doing this again in the future.....

Revenge is best thing to mend a broken heart...

Good luck

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"I'm very sorry this happened to you. You didn't deserve this and I hope you become a stronger person because of this.

But I think you should go over to his house and demand answers. You're not a piece of thrash that can be used and thrown in the rubbish bin.

Revenge is best thing to mend a broken heart...

Good luck"
haha been watching fatal attraction have we

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh dear god!! What a mess, my advise would be to move on and chalk it up to experience, never get between a man and his wife you will end the bad guy no matter what, if they have blocked you then they clearly want no part of it and have moved on or at least trying to.

Turning up at their house is likely to freak them out.

Good luck and hope you get past this and continue to have fun.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm very sorry this happened to you. You didn't deserve this and I hope you become a stronger person because of this.

But I think you should go over to his house and demand answers. You're not a piece of thrash that can be used and thrown in the rubbish bin.

Revenge is best thing to mend a broken heart...

Good luck haha been watching fatal attraction have we"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yup I hate to say it, it's horrible when things go wrong, but the site is generally NSA and as he had a partner you need to respect that x.

Move on OP plenty of fish in the sea and fucks on fab x"

Just one of those things. Keep moving

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By *eliciousladyWoman over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

Revenge is best thing to mend a broken heart...

What goes around comes around..is your dignity worth revenge?

In my experience it's not..move on and don't sink to his level

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Revenge is best thing to mend a broken heart...

What goes around comes around..is your dignity worth revenge?

In my experience it's not..move on and don't sink to his level

Says you... I believe in a eye for an eye..

I want my pound of flesh

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By *asokittyWoman over a year ago

Nr Worksop

As you say you overstepped the mark. Accept the block and move on.

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By *lwaysraginghornyMan over a year ago

bristol

Lipstick on and hold your head high. Don't lose your dignity

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yup I hate to say it, it's horrible when things go wrong, but the site is generally NSA and as he had a partner you need to respect that x.

Move on OP plenty of fish in the sea and fucks on fab x

Oh well..you live and learn

Well then I feel really sorry for you. He lied to you and strung you along. It's not like you fell for him and knew about the wife. Bastard

Don't go to the house. Walk away with dignity."

This!

Sounds like a manipulative so and so, you're best shot of and move on to better things x

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By *entleman JayMan over a year ago

Wakefield

Take it on the chin and move on. All the best we all need a thick skin sometimes.

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