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Not given a chance
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By *aeBabe OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
Made you look!
Kidding x
This is me asking advice on how to get back up after a knock on your confidence.
I recently had a social meet with someone I quite fancied. The social meet only lasted 15 mins, not because I wanted it to end, but he had to meet a friend, which he just mentioned there in the 1st minute of meeting. In that 15 mins he decided we didn't have chemistry. I felt really rushed, I couldn't relax and be me and from the word go, he seemed like he wished he was somewhere else, but with me. When you get that vibe off someone it makes you a little self conscious and feel like an idiot if you started to flirt with them.
That evening he had a last minute play meet, which to me felt like, I wasn't what he wanted even though he'd seen my pictures as we were friends on here. Even though he said that wasn't the case (because he really did have to meet a friend), but eventually said he didn't feel a massive connection between us.
I think what's bugging me is that I felt judged in that short instance and never got to be me.
I know most will say just move on to the next or forget it. But I felt it was an unfair circumstance. Almost like you're just about to talk, but someone thinks they know what you're going to say even before you say it, but they are completely wrong in that assumption.
I apologise in advance to those that are just rolling their eyes at this.
I did however meet a lovely guy after that, but that is still plaguing me.
I just need to shake this off xx |
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I think that you need to look at this from the other angle, you basically escaped a shallow, disrespectful individual. Don't waste energy on people like this, just be grateful you saw their true colours sooner rather than later. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
dont stress over it...think it through...there is nothing at all to be stressed over....you had a social,one of you decided not to take it further and politely,im assuming, let you know...maybe he got a vibe off you that you were after a bit more?,seems a bit odd to then question him later about a subsequent meet..i doubt you;d be too happy about a virtual stranger asking why you'd met certain people.. |
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By *aeBabe OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
"I think that you need to look at this from the other angle, you basically escaped a shallow, disrespectful individual. Don't waste energy on people like this, just be grateful you saw their true colours sooner rather than later. X"
Thanks hun... I try not to see the bad in people and often look inward at myself. I need to stop doing that because I know it's not healthy for my self esteem.
It's a shame he and I know a lot of the same people...
May have to just Block him..out of sight out of mind. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Made you look!
Kidding x
This is me asking advice on how to get back up after a knock on your confidence.
I recently had a social meet with someone I quite fancied. The social meet only lasted 15 mins, not because I wanted it to end, but he had to meet a friend, which he just mentioned there in the 1st minute of meeting. In that 15 mins he decided we didn't have chemistry. I felt really rushed, I couldn't relax and be me and from the word go, he seemed like he wished he was somewhere else, but with me. When you get that vibe off someone it makes you a little self conscious and feel like an idiot if you started to flirt with them.
That evening he had a last minute play meet, which to me felt like, I wasn't what he wanted even though he'd seen my pictures as we were friends on here. Even though he said that wasn't the case (because he really did have to meet a friend), but eventually said he didn't feel a massive connection between us.
I think what's bugging me is that I felt judged in that short instance and never got to be me.
I know most will say just move on to the next or forget it. But I felt it was an unfair circumstance. Almost like you're just about to talk, but someone thinks they know what you're going to say even before you say it, but they are completely wrong in that assumption.
I apologise in advance to those that are just rolling their eyes at this.
I did however meet a lovely guy after that, but that is still plaguing me.
I just need to shake this off xx"
I love your threads.... You always bring out the white knights 
Now I'm going to answer you just like if a guy posted this..
Listen, he didn't fancy you... He wasn't rude and it's his choice.... He is not a time waster because he showed up.
White knights now can begin the attack  |
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By *aeBabe OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
"Made you look!
Kidding x
This is me asking advice on how to get back up after a knock on your confidence.
I recently had a social meet with someone I quite fancied. The social meet only lasted 15 mins, not because I wanted it to end, but he had to meet a friend, which he just mentioned there in the 1st minute of meeting. In that 15 mins he decided we didn't have chemistry. I felt really rushed, I couldn't relax and be me and from the word go, he seemed like he wished he was somewhere else, but with me. When you get that vibe off someone it makes you a little self conscious and feel like an idiot if you started to flirt with them.
That evening he had a last minute play meet, which to me felt like, I wasn't what he wanted even though he'd seen my pictures as we were friends on here. Even though he said that wasn't the case (because he really did have to meet a friend), but eventually said he didn't feel a massive connection between us.
I think what's bugging me is that I felt judged in that short instance and never got to be me.
I know most will say just move on to the next or forget it. But I felt it was an unfair circumstance. Almost like you're just about to talk, but someone thinks they know what you're going to say even before you say it, but they are completely wrong in that assumption.
I apologise in advance to those that are just rolling their eyes at this.
I did however meet a lovely guy after that, but that is still plaguing me.
I just need to shake this off xx
I love your threads.... You always bring out the white knights
Now I'm going to answer you just like if a guy posted this..
Listen, he didn't fancy you... He wasn't rude and it's his choice.... He is not a time waster because he showed up.
White knights now can begin the attack "
Haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Made you look!
Kidding x
This is me asking advice on how to get back up after a knock on your confidence.
I recently had a social meet with someone I quite fancied. The social meet only lasted 15 mins, not because I wanted it to end, but he had to meet a friend, which he just mentioned there in the 1st minute of meeting. In that 15 mins he decided we didn't have chemistry. I felt really rushed, I couldn't relax and be me and from the word go, he seemed like he wished he was somewhere else, but with me. When you get that vibe off someone it makes you a little self conscious and feel like an idiot if you started to flirt with them.
That evening he had a last minute play meet, which to me felt like, I wasn't what he wanted even though he'd seen my pictures as we were friends on here. Even though he said that wasn't the case (because he really did have to meet a friend), but eventually said he didn't feel a massive connection between us.
I think what's bugging me is that I felt judged in that short instance and never got to be me.
I know most will say just move on to the next or forget it. But I felt it was an unfair circumstance. Almost like you're just about to talk, but someone thinks they know what you're going to say even before you say it, but they are completely wrong in that assumption.
I apologise in advance to those that are just rolling their eyes at this.
I did however meet a lovely guy after that, but that is still plaguing me.
I just need to shake this off xx
I love your threads.... You always bring out the white knights
Now I'm going to answer you just like if a guy posted this..
Listen, he didn't fancy you... He wasn't rude and it's his choice.... He is not a time waster because he showed up.
White knights now can begin the attack "
 this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Made you look!
Kidding x
This is me asking advice on how to get back up after a knock on your confidence.
I recently had a social meet with someone I quite fancied. The social meet only lasted 15 mins, not because I wanted it to end, but he had to meet a friend, which he just mentioned there in the 1st minute of meeting. In that 15 mins he decided we didn't have chemistry. I felt really rushed, I couldn't relax and be me and from the word go, he seemed like he wished he was somewhere else, but with me. When you get that vibe off someone it makes you a little self conscious and feel like an idiot if you started to flirt with them.
That evening he had a last minute play meet, which to me felt like, I wasn't what he wanted even though he'd seen my pictures as we were friends on here. Even though he said that wasn't the case (because he really did have to meet a friend), but eventually said he didn't feel a massive connection between us.
I think what's bugging me is that I felt judged in that short instance and never got to be me.
I know most will say just move on to the next or forget it. But I felt it was an unfair circumstance. Almost like you're just about to talk, but someone thinks they know what you're going to say even before you say it, but they are completely wrong in that assumption.
I apologise in advance to those that are just rolling their eyes at this.
I did however meet a lovely guy after that, but that is still plaguing me.
I just need to shake this off xx
I love your threads.... You always bring out the white knights
Now I'm going to answer you just like if a guy posted this..
Listen, he didn't fancy you... He wasn't rude and it's his choice.... He is not a time waster because he showed up.
White knights now can begin the attack
this"
this...i really really dont see how he was in the wrong at all..its always a knock to get rejected by someone, but it happens to everyone, in varying degrees,all through life! |
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"I think that you need to look at this from the other angle, you basically escaped a shallow, disrespectful individual. Don't waste energy on people like this, just be grateful you saw their true colours sooner rather than later. X"
Rubbish.
We have all had circumstnces where the photos / voice / chats all sound very hot, and you meet that person in the flesh and there is nothing there at all.
It doesn't make anyone shallow.
This site is all about consent, nobody has the right to demand a fuck, so when someone exercises that right upon meeting in the flesh you can't call them shallow or make statements about true colours.
If anything it sounds like the guy let her down gently, he could just as easily have taken one look and said thanks for coming but it's not gonna happen. |
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"
Rubbish.
We have all had circumstnces where the photos / voice / chats all sound very hot, and you meet that person in the flesh and there is nothing there at all.
It doesn't make anyone shallow.
This site is all about consent, nobody has the right to demand a fuck, so when someone exercises that right upon meeting in the flesh you can't call them shallow or make statements about true colours.
If anything it sounds like the guy let her down gently, he could just as easily have taken one look and said thanks for coming but it's not gonna happen."
I do find it shallow and disrespectful to meet someone and shut it down to 15 mins, especially if they had been chatting a while, if I am not interested in someone, there is no spark I have the decency to tell them, I certainly don't arrange two different things at more or less the same time.
Personally though I wouldn't meet someone if I didn't think I'd have a good chat regardless of whether or not we got naked. I never for one second said anything about anyone demanding a fuck, that's totally come from you, the shallow thing was that having decided she wasn't for him, he left for something else after 15minutes. I've no idea how long it took her to get there, or what she missed out on to go, but talk about single minded... I was talking about what I believe to be the rude way he treated her. Swinger or not, some common human decency shouldn't be that hard.
Then again, I'm not a swinger, maybe this is just par for the course, but it's certainly not for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Rubbish.
We have all had circumstnces where the photos / voice / chats all sound very hot, and you meet that person in the flesh and there is nothing there at all.
It doesn't make anyone shallow.
This site is all about consent, nobody has the right to demand a fuck, so when someone exercises that right upon meeting in the flesh you can't call them shallow or make statements about true colours.
If anything it sounds like the guy let her down gently, he could just as easily have taken one look and said thanks for coming but it's not gonna happen.
I do find it shallow and disrespectful to meet someone and shut it down to 15 mins, especially if they had been chatting a while, if I am not interested in someone, there is no spark I have the decency to tell them, I certainly don't arrange two different things at more or less the same time.
Personally though I wouldn't meet someone if I didn't think I'd have a good chat regardless of whether or not we got naked. I never for one second said anything about anyone demanding a fuck, that's totally come from you, the shallow thing was that having decided she wasn't for him, he left for something else after 15minutes. I've no idea how long it took her to get there, or what she missed out on to go, but talk about single minded... I was talking about what I believe to be the rude way he treated her. Swinger or not, some common human decency shouldn't be that hard.
Then again, I'm not a swinger, maybe this is just par for the course, but it's certainly not for me."
So if a woman did this too a man. Would it be ok? |
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"
So if a woman did this too a man. Would it be ok? "
No idea why putting it the other way around would make any difference. If I met someone and had no spark, I certainly wouldn't sod off after 15 mins. I'd be upfront, but I would be mortified to have someone travel for maybe an hour, to then just walk away on them after 15mins. Then again, I maybe have a very different idea of what a social is, I started out in the kink community, and it's a very different set of social norms there.
Some swingers are very brisk and business like, others are more human in their approach. I'm not saying one is right and one is wrong, but one is right for me, and the other leaves me feeling like a piece of meat. I've swung with people like that in the past, and it really wasn't for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yes this is one of those moments when you females will never understand,
BLOKES are dick heads there is no form or understanding it's pretty much down to insecurity we give it the big un if we don't follow through then it's cause we bottled it x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You look blimmin gorgeous to me luv........ Maybe he was just a shallow gobshite, either way don't even worry about it, that is his loss aint it and not yours......... But to help build back up your confidence etc then I think that you need to come n see ELO in Wigan....... That is not the musical band ELO by the way by Geoff Lym....... that is you saying Eeeeeeeee L O Wigan as you step off the train...... Were reet gradley folk tha knows n am barnt treyt the to a pie n peys supper |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Dear op...
I really wouldn't stress over it at all. Shit happens to all of us at sometime. You lived to fight another day and the only thing that got hurt were your feelings. The sun comes up in an hour or so and life goes on. So smile, be happy and be done with it....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think that you need to look at this from the other angle, you basically escaped a shallow, disrespectful individual. Don't waste energy on people like this, just be grateful you saw their true colours sooner rather than later. X
Rubbish.
We have all had circumstnces where the photos / voice / chats all sound very hot, and you meet that person in the flesh and there is nothing there at all.
It doesn't make anyone shallow.
This site is all about consent, nobody has the right to demand a fuck, so when someone exercises that right upon meeting in the flesh you can't call them shallow or make statements about true colours.
If anything it sounds like the guy let her down gently, he could just as easily have taken one look and said thanks for coming but it's not gonna happen."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
He did give you a chance. He showed up, gave you 15 minutes of his time and decided you weren't for him. Personally I think 15 minutes is definitely enough time to make that decision (I can make my mind up in 5) What exactly where you hoping to do with more time, radically change your personality and how you look?
You seem to put up quite a few threads about being rejected (at parties etc) From your profile you look like a very attractive woman but I don't know where you are going wrong. If you were a man you'd be told to man up and shot down in flames but you're a woman, so the white knights can come rescue you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You look very pretty and sound very nice...When you miss one bus another one comes along,so dont stress just move on,lots dont even read profiles properly.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't think he did anything wrong. He was honest as far as i understand.
You had a social meet to see if there was a spark and if either of you wanted to take it further.
The guy realised early on that there was no spark or connection on his part so he cut short the social. Its difficult when you are the one being told 'no thanks' but at least he didn't string you along.
You just need to move along to the next one the same as he has. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you look like your pics, turn up on time, dressed appropriately, don't say or do anything 'weird'...then you've done your bit for a social.
Socials don't always progress further. It's just how it is. Respect his decision and move on, good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He did give you a chance. He showed up, gave you 15 minutes of his time and decided you weren't for him. Personally I think 15 minutes is definitely enough time to make that decision (I can make my mind up in 5)"
"All decisions should be made within seven breaths"  |
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By *aeBabe OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
Thanks for all the replies. Have realised that I've been lingering on it for too long. Owww well...
Apologies again for that... I think I'm seriously PMSing. 
I totally understand it's his choice as it is mine on many numerous occasions, doesn't mean the blow isn't really, but I just need thicker skin |
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"Thanks for all the replies. Have realised that I've been lingering on it for too long. Owww well...
Apologies again for that... I think I'm seriously PMSing.
I totally understand it's his choice as it is mine on many numerous occasions, doesn't mean the blow isn't really, but I just need thicker skin "
it also helps to realise that someone you don't really know can't make you feel a certain way, their actions might trigger off how you feel about yourself though.
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
Life isn't fair it never has been and never will be.
You met somone who was obviously thinking more of the meet later than of making the social work.
It would probably have been better if he had had the courage to cancel the social but these things happen.
In the bloke's mind he was already in bed with his meet later on, nothing you could have done apart from stripping off and playing with him then and there would have made any difference to your social. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He did give you a chance. He showed up, gave you 15 minutes of his time and decided you weren't for him. Personally I think 15 minutes is definitely enough time to make that decision (I can make my mind up in 5) What exactly where you hoping to do with more time, radically change your personality and how you look?
You seem to put up quite a few threads about being rejected (at parties etc) From your profile you look like a very attractive woman but I don't know where you are going wrong. If you were a man you'd be told to man up and shot down in flames but you're a woman, so the white knights can come rescue you."
33 verifications suggests she isn't doing that badly!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Made you look!
Kidding x
This is me asking advice on how to get back up after a knock on your confidence.
I recently had a social meet with someone I quite fancied. The social meet only lasted 15 mins, not because I wanted it to end, but he had to meet a friend, which he just mentioned there in the 1st minute of meeting. In that 15 mins he decided we didn't have chemistry. I felt really rushed, I couldn't relax and be me and from the word go, he seemed like he wished he was somewhere else, but with me. When you get that vibe off someone it makes you a little self conscious and feel like an idiot if you started to flirt with them.
That evening he had a last minute play meet, which to me felt like, I wasn't what he wanted even though he'd seen my pictures as we were friends on here. Even though he said that wasn't the case (because he really did have to meet a friend), but eventually said he didn't feel a massive connection between us.
I think what's bugging me is that I felt judged in that short instance and never got to be me.
I know most will say just move on to the next or forget it. But I felt it was an unfair circumstance. Almost like you're just about to talk, but someone thinks they know what you're going to say even before you say it, but they are completely wrong in that assumption.
I apologise in advance to those that are just rolling their eyes at this.
I did however meet a lovely guy after that, but that is still plaguing me.
I just need to shake this off xx"
He met you, actually had the decency to turn up and quite possibly decided on the first minute you wasn't what he was expecting for whatever reason and made it clear from the off nothing was going to happen, so why drag it out 
He basically decided not to waste your time or his on something that was never going to go anywhere.
Now he could of messaged you just before the meet to say he wasn't coming and he'd of been slagged off far more than he is getting now, worse still he could of simply not showed "even worse"
Basically he did the good thing, turned up, made it clear nothing was going to happen and left it there....but we all know how much man slagging off is always in vogue |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What a shallow man
Unfortunately lots of men are shallow ....and think they can treat women how ever they wish ....hold your head high girl ... his loss "
go on then this will be intresting, by him turning up and m,aking it clear nothing was going to happen, how is that shallow  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He did give you a chance. He showed up, gave you 15 minutes of his time and decided you weren't for him. Personally I think 15 minutes is definitely enough time to make that decision (I can make my mind up in 5) What exactly where you hoping to do with more time, radically change your personality and how you look?
You seem to put up quite a few threads about being rejected (at parties etc) From your profile you look like a very attractive woman but I don't know where you are going wrong. If you were a man you'd be told to man up and shot down in flames but you're a woman, so the white knights can come rescue you."
Perfect sense |
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Isn't that what a social is for? To see if there is any chemistry?
And a lot of people can tell straight off if it they want to take things further, he could well be one of those. I only need 5 minutes with a person, if it isn't there then it isn't there.
Don't over think it, let it go and move on, he has. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What a shallow man
Unfortunately lots of men are shallow ....and think they can treat women how ever they wish ....hold your head high girl ... his loss "
Why is he shallow?
He turned up, decided that the OP wasn't what he was looking for, there is no obligation to sit there for hours talking to someone your not interested in, I see no rudeness on his part.
OP, not everyone is going to be interested in everyone so just move on up and have fun with those you do click with mutually |
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By *aeBabe OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
"He did give you a chance. He showed up, gave you 15 minutes of his time and decided you weren't for him. Personally I think 15 minutes is definitely enough time to make that decision (I can make my mind up in 5) What exactly where you hoping to do with more time, radically change your personality and how you look?
You seem to put up quite a few threads about being rejected (at parties etc) From your profile you look like a very attractive woman but I don't know where you are going wrong. If you were a man you'd be told to man up and shot down in flames but you're a woman, so the white knights can come rescue you.
33 verifications suggests she isn't doing that badly!! "
No, i'm not doing badly and I know I could meet another great person at my next meet, which I did. A fair amount of those are social meets. I like socialising in all this to bring the London Swing scene closer.
It's just the feeling attached to it that totally bugged me. The only reasons that I have cut a social meet short in the past was was because he seemed disinterested or was rude.
I know people have different reasons, it's just the feeling that lies within myself I have to deal with. |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
If I flip the coin and ask if you felt there wasn't a connection what would you do op. ... Take one for the team ??
Hes been honest with you, Move on.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's just the feeling attached to it that totally bugged me. The only reasons that I have cut a social meet short in the past was was because he seemed disinterested or was rude."
Bloody hell love, you fancied him, he didn't fancy you.
When I was 16 I fancied a lass who was dancing on the dance floor, my mate who was 18 so I looked up to him as being full of wisdom and knowledge, said I should go dance next to her. I did, and without a word she just shoved me away. I found it at first embarrassing, then funny. I got over it in about 30 seconds. Time you got over this lad |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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His manner about it wasn't great by any means but ultimately he wasn't interested, it may be "cruel to be kind" way to do it but at least he didn't lead you on.. I guess once he knew there wasn't any legs in it, he called it off.
I think you just need to bear in mind the kind of world you're in, this is one where most people get judged quick and rejected hard and fast. A portion of your profile is what you don't like and what can be perceived as you'll never give a chance. In a dating world that would be rude 100%, but we're not in the dating world and different rules seem to apply.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think you must be the unluckiest woman on fab, op. Always being turned down or ignored....what's your secret??  "
Maybe it's her preference, people often invite the very thing that hurts them. Happens with relationships all the time, maybe swinging is similar. Maybe open up yourself to different types of men? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What a shallow man
Unfortunately lots of men are shallow ....and think they can treat women how ever they wish ....hold your head high girl ... his loss "
WOW...REALLY? What was shallow about him? Complete opposite in my opinion....sounded like a real gentleman and maintained poise and maybe stayed to his standards and thought with his head (she looks gorgeous).
Sounds like you'd have difficulty dealing with someone saying no to you...no matter how polite (followed the green arrow to some of your other replies in forums)
It's not a loss for anyone if one decides it's not to happen. A social isn't a guarantee for more...If I go to a social where it's not agreed before that it could lead to more, I always treat it as a social and will not do more that a kiss. I often always have something else to do after a social which for me usually last no more than 45 min to 1hr max. If there could be more then I make sure I've nothing happening after.
He may have been offered a couple socials that day (and tbh very honest for those women who do not seem to get this , what man would say no as they don't happen as often as with you women).
He certainly wasn't shallow and I'm not saying that because he's a man...follow my green arrow
To the OP....It is hard to deal with being turned down when you like the other and possibly want more and are not given the chance to see. 15 minutes is definately enough time to know either way for both men and women. I'd block him...the reason I say it is...
1. Free your mind
2. He doesn't come up in searches
3. Doesn't come up in updates so you don't keep wishing.
4. Allows you to focus better on future socials/meets.
5. Allows you to respect his decision better. You can unblock later.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes this is one of those moments when you females will never understand,
BLOKES are dick heads there is no form or understanding it's pretty much down to insecurity we give it the big un if we don't follow through then it's cause we bottled it x"
What a bunch of bullshit, Blokes aren't dick heads, how about you don't generalise us all under one bracket... If you want to consider yourself that, fine but don't group all men as dick heads with some seemingly misguided false humility. |
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Yeah, sooner seemed better to me. I can still recall one social meet I had where I wasn't feeling it and said so, but stayed out of politeness. She just kept getting more and more sexually aggressive and put out, and I eventually bailed with a bad taste in my mouth.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I hope the man in question isn't reading this
I wonder..would it matter if he is?  "
Why would it? This is probably one of the better ones of hundreds of similar posts... they both stand up well in this post and should be seen as that. Both have been been well spoken of by most in here too It's good so I don't think he should. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes this is one of those moments when you females will never understand,
BLOKES are dick heads there is no form or understanding it's pretty much down to insecurity we give it the big un if we don't follow through then it's cause we bottled it x
What a bunch of bullshit, Blokes aren't dick heads, how about you don't generalise us all under one bracket... If you want to consider yourself that, fine but don't group all men as dick heads with some seemingly misguided false humility. "
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
"Thanks for all the replies. Have realised that I've been lingering on it for too long. Owww well...
Apologies again for that... I think I'm seriously PMSing.
I totally understand it's his choice as it is mine on many numerous occasions, doesn't mean the blow isn't really, but I just need thicker skin
it also helps to realise that someone you don't really know can't make you feel a certain way, their actions might trigger off how you feel about yourself though.
"
I think nicecouple have got to the issue OP. Have a think about this.
I agreed to meet a chap at a cafe and planned to meet in the car park. The bloke pulled up in his car, looked at me through the window, paused and drove off !!! At least your meet chatted to you before doing a runner |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't see that the guy did anything wrong, OP. Maybe it's because I'm part of a couple instead of a single woman, but when I meet single guys I know that they are there primarily for the sex, and if they aren't attracted to me or there is no spark I don't think it's fair to expect them to sit around for an hour and chat just to give me a chance. Its nice if people want to just socialize, but I don't think it's rude not to. I know I'm generalising a bit here, but that's been my experience.
If he had stayed longer I wonder if that would have given you the indication that you guys were hitting it off and that this might progress? Would he have been leading you on? Would the rejection have hurt less if he had stayed an hour instead of 15 minutes? I'm just wondering these things out loud. The answers might help you determine the real issue.
I think that you have to have confidence in yourself. If someone rejects you then a bit of pain is normal but it should only really affect you if you are relying too heavily on their opinion of you. I'm not trying to be harsh here, but based on previous threads you've posted, I think you need to find that confidence in yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He did give you a chance. He showed up, gave you 15 minutes of his time and decided you weren't for him. Personally I think 15 minutes is definitely enough time to make that decision (I can make my mind up in 5) What exactly where you hoping to do with more time, radically change your personality and how you look?
You seem to put up quite a few threads about being rejected (at parties etc) From your profile you look like a very attractive woman but I don't know where you are going wrong. If you were a man you'd be told to man up and shot down in flames but you're a woman, so the white knights can come rescue you.
33 verifications suggests she isn't doing that badly!!
No, i'm not doing badly and I know I could meet another great person at my next meet, which I did. A fair amount of those are social meets. I like socialising in all this to bring the London Swing scene closer.
It's just the feeling attached to it that totally bugged me. The only reasons that I have cut a social meet short in the past was was because he seemed disinterested or was rude.
I know people have different reasons, it's just the feeling that lies within myself I have to deal with."
We've never had a social meet where a couple / single didn't want to play after. But that's not because we're amazing; it's just that we heavily filter who we meet. We avoid people that are overly focused on physical attraction (at the expenses of all else), who aren't interested in a social connection and who aren't in a relationship (with each other). Not saying there's anything wrong with those things but that's what works for us. Potentially we've also missed out on some awesome meets with hot couples, but all the couples we've met have floated our boat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can't see that the guy did anything wrong, OP. Maybe it's because I'm part of a couple instead of a single woman, but when I meet single guys I know that they are there primarily for the sex, and if they aren't attracted to me or there is no spark I don't think it's fair to expect them to sit around for an hour and chat just to give me a chance. Its nice if people want to just socialize, but I don't think it's rude not to. I know I'm generalising a bit here, but that's been my experience.
If he had stayed longer I wonder if that would have given you the indication that you guys were hitting it off and that this might progress? Would he have been leading you on? Would the rejection have hurt less if he had stayed an hour instead of 15 minutes? I'm just wondering these things out loud. The answers might help you determine the real issue.
"
To be honest I think I could keep a conversation going with a door for 45 minutes to an hour, especially if the door wants to talk about economics . 15 minutes does come across a bit transactional.
Some people see swinging as transactional and that's fine if everyone knows the rules. I don't know what was said between them before the meet. But certainly if we met someone for a social there would have been an expectation of more than 15 minutes conversation even if they didn't want to play. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Made you look!
Kidding x
This is me asking advice on how to get back up after a knock on your confidence.
I recently had a social meet with someone I quite fancied. The social meet only lasted 15 mins, not because I wanted it to end, but he had to meet a friend, which he just mentioned there in the 1st minute of meeting. In that 15 mins he decided we didn't have chemistry. I felt really rushed, I couldn't relax and be me and from the word go, he seemed like he wished he was somewhere else, but with me. When you get that vibe off someone it makes you a little self conscious and feel like an idiot if you started to flirt with them.
That evening he had a last minute play meet, which to me felt like, I wasn't what he wanted even though he'd seen my pictures as we were friends on here. Even though he said that wasn't the case (because he really did have to meet a friend), but eventually said he didn't feel a massive connection between us.
I think what's bugging me is that I felt judged in that short instance and never got to be me.
I know most will say just move on to the next or forget it. But I felt it was an unfair circumstance. Almost like you're just about to talk, but someone thinks they know what you're going to say even before you say it, but they are completely wrong in that assumption.
I apologise in advance to those that are just rolling their eyes at this.
I did however meet a lovely guy after that, but that is still plaguing me.
I just need to shake this off xx"
At least you got to meet. I cant get beyond the photo I send. Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think that you need to look at this from the other angle, you basically escaped a shallow, disrespectful individual. Don't waste energy on people like this, just be grateful you saw their true colours sooner rather than later. X
Rubbish.
We have all had circumstnces where the photos / voice / chats all sound very hot, and you meet that person in the flesh and there is nothing there at all.
It doesn't make anyone shallow.
This site is all about consent, nobody has the right to demand a fuck, so when someone exercises that right upon meeting in the flesh you can't call them shallow or make statements about true colours.
If anything it sounds like the guy let her down gently, he could just as easily have taken one look and said thanks for coming but it's not gonna happen.
"
Yeah sorry I would have done the same as him, if I didn't fancy a guy in the flesh. I look at it like - Im not here to make friends - just fuck people I find physically attractive - so why waste either person's time by dragging out a meet? No one owes anyone anything on this site really, just take what you can get!
Sorry OP but I would just move on and forget about it. Psycho-analysing the behaviour of strangers ain't gonna help you in any way x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hope these responses have rebooted your ego as I guess that was the intention. I know instantly on a social if I want to take things further. This man did too. Not all men will just have sex because it is there on a plate. I imagine you don't fancy every man so spare men that same courtesy. I would have socialised over lunch still as that is polite but the rejection would have felt the same even if he had done that. I had to do the same recently as the woman had terrible breath. I wasn't going to tell her so instead we had a lovely lunch and said goodbye. He had his reason and was rude for leaving so quick but if it's company you want next time arrange lunch in a bistro not a coffee in the local coffee shop. IMHO. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Made you look!
Kidding x
This is me asking advice on how to get back up after a knock on your confidence.
I recently had a social meet with someone I quite fancied. The social meet only lasted 15 mins, not because I wanted it to end, but he had to meet a friend, which he just mentioned there in the 1st minute of meeting. In that 15 mins he decided we didn't have chemistry. I felt really rushed, I couldn't relax and be me and from the word go, he seemed like he wished he was somewhere else, but with me. When you get that vibe off someone it makes you a little self conscious and feel like an idiot if you started to flirt with them.
That evening he had a last minute play meet, which to me felt like, I wasn't what he wanted even though he'd seen my pictures as we were friends on here. Even though he said that wasn't the case (because he really did have to meet a friend), but eventually said he didn't feel a massive connection between us.
I think what's bugging me is that I felt judged in that short instance and never got to be me.
I know most will say just move on to the next or forget it. But I felt it was an unfair circumstance. Almost like you're just about to talk, but someone thinks they know what you're going to say even before you say it, but they are completely wrong in that assumption.
I apologise in advance to those that are just rolling their eyes at this.
I did however meet a lovely guy after that, but that is still plaguing me.
I just need to shake this off xx"
I don't think there is many who haven't been knocked down. Just be glad he went on a meet after a 15 min social and not after a weekend away. That can really kick you in the teeth and is very difficult to come back from |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I hope these responses have rebooted your ego as I guess that was the intention. I know instantly on a social if I want to take things further. This man did too. Not all men will just have sex because it is there on a plate. I imagine you don't fancy every man so spare men that same courtesy. I would have socialised over lunch still as that is polite but the rejection would have felt the same even if he had done that. I had to do the same recently as the woman had terrible breath. I wasn't going to tell her so instead we had a lovely lunch and said goodbye. He had his reason and was rude for leaving so quick but if it's company you want next time arrange lunch in a bistro not a coffee in the local coffee shop. IMHO. "
exactly! i'm assuming that you don't have sex with anyone on here who asks,often politely reject them?...maybe extend others the same courtesy.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can't see that the guy did anything wrong, OP. Maybe it's because I'm part of a couple instead of a single woman, but when I meet single guys I know that they are there primarily for the sex, and if they aren't attracted to me or there is no spark I don't think it's fair to expect them to sit around for an hour and chat just to give me a chance. Its nice if people want to just socialize, but I don't think it's rude not to. I know I'm generalising a bit here, but that's been my experience.
If he had stayed longer I wonder if that would have given you the indication that you guys were hitting it off and that this might progress? Would he have been leading you on? Would the rejection have hurt less if he had stayed an hour instead of 15 minutes? I'm just wondering these things out loud. The answers might help you determine the real issue.
To be honest I think I could keep a conversation going with a door for 45 minutes to an hour, especially if the door wants to talk about economics . 15 minutes does come across a bit transactional.
Some people see swinging as transactional and that's fine if everyone knows the rules. I don't know what was said between them before the meet. But certainly if we met someone for a social there would have been an expectation of more than 15 minutes conversation even if they didn't want to play. "
I think for me it depends on the other person. I don't think it's necessarily transactional to realize that you don't want to go further with someone and leave. It depends on the situation. As I said, continuing the conversation is nice, but I wouldn't expect it. But maybe that's just me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What an absolute bastard. Leaving a gorgeous girl like you"
"Is that a damsel in distress I see?, quickly let me grab my white horse and rush to her aid, maybe once I do she'll feel she owes me... And we all know what women do when they owe you... "
Haha is that how your fantasy plays out?
In a sarcastic mood right about now lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can't see that the guy did anything wrong, OP. Maybe it's because I'm part of a couple instead of a single woman, but when I meet single guys I know that they are there primarily for the sex, and if they aren't attracted to me or there is no spark I don't think it's fair to expect them to sit around for an hour and chat just to give me a chance. Its nice if people want to just socialize, but I don't think it's rude not to. I know I'm generalising a bit here, but that's been my experience.
If he had stayed longer I wonder if that would have given you the indication that you guys were hitting it off and that this might progress? Would he have been leading you on? Would the rejection have hurt less if he had stayed an hour instead of 15 minutes? I'm just wondering these things out loud. The answers might help you determine the real issue.
To be honest I think I could keep a conversation going with a door for 45 minutes to an hour, especially if the door wants to talk about economics . 15 minutes does come across a bit transactional.
Some people see swinging as transactional and that's fine if everyone knows the rules. I don't know what was said between them before the meet. But certainly if we met someone for a social there would have been an expectation of more than 15 minutes conversation even if they didn't want to play.
I think for me it depends on the other person. I don't think it's necessarily transactional to realize that you don't want to go further with someone and leave. It depends on the situation. As I said, continuing the conversation is nice, but I wouldn't expect it. But maybe that's just me."
You have to read the terms and conditions really. If we agree to a social then the contract we email over is clear that both parties agree to an evening of light entertainment and chatter without the expectation of sexual contact during or afterwards. Therefore, you have a duty to make all reasonable efforts to be pleasant company.
Naturally the contract has break clauses if one party turns up with bad breath, bad teeth, skinny jeans or leggings.
Of course if you make a different contract for your meets then there's nothing wrong with that either. This is just what works for us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What an absolute bastard. Leaving a gorgeous girl like you
"Is that a damsel in distress I see?, quickly let me grab my white horse and rush to her aid, maybe once I do she'll feel she owes me... And we all know what women do when they owe you... "
Haha is that how your fantasy plays out?
In a sarcastic mood right about now lol "
Where was the sarcasm? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can't see that the guy did anything wrong, OP. Maybe it's because I'm part of a couple instead of a single woman, but when I meet single guys I know that they are there primarily for the sex, and if they aren't attracted to me or there is no spark I don't think it's fair to expect them to sit around for an hour and chat just to give me a chance. Its nice if people want to just socialize, but I don't think it's rude not to. I know I'm generalising a bit here, but that's been my experience.
If he had stayed longer I wonder if that would have given you the indication that you guys were hitting it off and that this might progress? Would he have been leading you on? Would the rejection have hurt less if he had stayed an hour instead of 15 minutes? I'm just wondering these things out loud. The answers might help you determine the real issue.
To be honest I think I could keep a conversation going with a door for 45 minutes to an hour, especially if the door wants to talk about economics . 15 minutes does come across a bit transactional.
Some people see swinging as transactional and that's fine if everyone knows the rules. I don't know what was said between them before the meet. But certainly if we met someone for a social there would have been an expectation of more than 15 minutes conversation even if they didn't want to play.
I think for me it depends on the other person. I don't think it's necessarily transactional to realize that you don't want to go further with someone and leave. It depends on the situation. As I said, continuing the conversation is nice, but I wouldn't expect it. But maybe that's just me.
You have to read the terms and conditions really. If we agree to a social then the contract we email over is clear that both parties agree to an evening of light entertainment and chatter without the expectation of sexual contact during or afterwards. Therefore, you have a duty to make all reasonable efforts to be pleasant company.
Naturally the contract has break clauses if one party turns up with bad breath, bad teeth, skinny jeans or leggings.
Of course if you make a different contract for your meets then there's nothing wrong with that either. This is just what works for us. "
Contracts....you might be onto something here. I'm off to go write one up for us. I think I may need a different one for clubs. I'll give it some thought. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can't see that the guy did anything wrong, OP. Maybe it's because I'm part of a couple instead of a single woman, but when I meet single guys I know that they are there primarily for the sex, and if they aren't attracted to me or there is no spark I don't think it's fair to expect them to sit around for an hour and chat just to give me a chance. Its nice if people want to just socialize, but I don't think it's rude not to. I know I'm generalising a bit here, but that's been my experience.
If he had stayed longer I wonder if that would have given you the indication that you guys were hitting it off and that this might progress? Would he have been leading you on? Would the rejection have hurt less if he had stayed an hour instead of 15 minutes? I'm just wondering these things out loud. The answers might help you determine the real issue.
To be honest I think I could keep a conversation going with a door for 45 minutes to an hour, especially if the door wants to talk about economics . 15 minutes does come across a bit transactional.
Some people see swinging as transactional and that's fine if everyone knows the rules. I don't know what was said between them before the meet. But certainly if we met someone for a social there would have been an expectation of more than 15 minutes conversation even if they didn't want to play.
I think for me it depends on the other person. I don't think it's necessarily transactional to realize that you don't want to go further with someone and leave. It depends on the situation. As I said, continuing the conversation is nice, but I wouldn't expect it. But maybe that's just me.
You have to read the terms and conditions really. If we agree to a social then the contract we email over is clear that both parties agree to an evening of light entertainment and chatter without the expectation of sexual contact during or afterwards. Therefore, you have a duty to make all reasonable efforts to be pleasant company.
Naturally the contract has break clauses if one party turns up with bad breath, bad teeth, skinny jeans or leggings.
Of course if you make a different contract for your meets then there's nothing wrong with that either. This is just what works for us.
Contracts....you might be onto something here. I'm off to go write one up for us. I think I may need a different one for clubs. I'll give it some thought. "
You can see ours if you want a social when you next fly from Heathrow |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can't see that the guy did anything wrong, OP. Maybe it's because I'm part of a couple instead of a single woman, but when I meet single guys I know that they are there primarily for the sex, and if they aren't attracted to me or there is no spark I don't think it's fair to expect them to sit around for an hour and chat just to give me a chance. Its nice if people want to just socialize, but I don't think it's rude not to. I know I'm generalising a bit here, but that's been my experience.
If he had stayed longer I wonder if that would have given you the indication that you guys were hitting it off and that this might progress? Would he have been leading you on? Would the rejection have hurt less if he had stayed an hour instead of 15 minutes? I'm just wondering these things out loud. The answers might help you determine the real issue.
To be honest I think I could keep a conversation going with a door for 45 minutes to an hour, especially if the door wants to talk about economics . 15 minutes does come across a bit transactional.
Some people see swinging as transactional and that's fine if everyone knows the rules. I don't know what was said between them before the meet. But certainly if we met someone for a social there would have been an expectation of more than 15 minutes conversation even if they didn't want to play.
I think for me it depends on the other person. I don't think it's necessarily transactional to realize that you don't want to go further with someone and leave. It depends on the situation. As I said, continuing the conversation is nice, but I wouldn't expect it. But maybe that's just me.
You have to read the terms and conditions really. If we agree to a social then the contract we email over is clear that both parties agree to an evening of light entertainment and chatter without the expectation of sexual contact during or afterwards. Therefore, you have a duty to make all reasonable efforts to be pleasant company.
Naturally the contract has break clauses if one party turns up with bad breath, bad teeth, skinny jeans or leggings.
Of course if you make a different contract for your meets then there's nothing wrong with that either. This is just what works for us.
Contracts....you might be onto something here. I'm off to go write one up for us. I think I may need a different one for clubs. I'll give it some thought.
You can see ours if you want a social when you next fly from Heathrow "
Sure, but I'd only be able to stick around for about 15 minutes if that's OK?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can't see that the guy did anything wrong, OP. Maybe it's because I'm part of a couple instead of a single woman, but when I meet single guys I know that they are there primarily for the sex, and if they aren't attracted to me or there is no spark I don't think it's fair to expect them to sit around for an hour and chat just to give me a chance. Its nice if people want to just socialize, but I don't think it's rude not to. I know I'm generalising a bit here, but that's been my experience.
If he had stayed longer I wonder if that would have given you the indication that you guys were hitting it off and that this might progress? Would he have been leading you on? Would the rejection have hurt less if he had stayed an hour instead of 15 minutes? I'm just wondering these things out loud. The answers might help you determine the real issue.
To be honest I think I could keep a conversation going with a door for 45 minutes to an hour, especially if the door wants to talk about economics . 15 minutes does come across a bit transactional.
Some people see swinging as transactional and that's fine if everyone knows the rules. I don't know what was said between them before the meet. But certainly if we met someone for a social there would have been an expectation of more than 15 minutes conversation even if they didn't want to play.
I think for me it depends on the other person. I don't think it's necessarily transactional to realize that you don't want to go further with someone and leave. It depends on the situation. As I said, continuing the conversation is nice, but I wouldn't expect it. But maybe that's just me.
You have to read the terms and conditions really. If we agree to a social then the contract we email over is clear that both parties agree to an evening of light entertainment and chatter without the expectation of sexual contact during or afterwards. Therefore, you have a duty to make all reasonable efforts to be pleasant company.
Naturally the contract has break clauses if one party turns up with bad breath, bad teeth, skinny jeans or leggings.
Of course if you make a different contract for your meets then there's nothing wrong with that either. This is just what works for us.
Contracts....you might be onto something here. I'm off to go write one up for us. I think I may need a different one for clubs. I'll give it some thought.
You can see ours if you want a social when you next fly from Heathrow
Sure, but I'd only be able to stick around for about 15 minutes if that's OK? "
Dissed and dismissed |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"What a shallow man
Unfortunately lots of men are shallow ....and think they can treat women how ever they wish ....hold your head high girl ... his loss "
I must have missed the memo where guys aren't allowed to say thanks but no thanks.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What a shallow man
Unfortunately lots of men are shallow ....and think they can treat women how ever they wish ....hold your head high girl ... his loss
I must have missed the memo where guys aren't allowed to say thanks but no thanks.. "
Only women can do that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What a shallow man
Unfortunately lots of men are shallow ....and think they can treat women how ever they wish ....hold your head high girl ... his loss
I must have missed the memo where guys aren't allowed to say thanks but no thanks.. "
its one of the most important rules!! how could you miss that! |
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"What a shallow man
Unfortunately lots of men are shallow ....and think they can treat women how ever they wish ....hold your head high girl ... his loss
I must have missed the memo where guys aren't allowed to say thanks but no thanks..
Only women can do that "
No, only individuals with an artifically inflated self-worth, or artifically inflated concept of whatever value it is that they are bringing to the table, as opposed to what the other party is bringing to the table.
I will leave it to readers to discuss the correlations between individuals who believe they bring far more value to the table than the other party, and individuals who think the other party are all useless shallow vain bastards in search of a cum bucket.
True story.
I knew two brothers who jointly inherited a business that was a going concern.
Brother A was a lovely chap, always took the time to talk to customers and suppliers, always tried to understand their needs, always tried to make them aware of his needs, customers always liked to deal with him and always came back for more.
Brother B was a total asswipe with an attitude, NOTA BENE, same business, same exact customers, same exact purchases and sales and work orders, customers avoided him like the plague he was.
Brother A spent ever more of his time rebuilding bridges that Brother B was busy burning down.
The business collapsed.
(counts on fingers) 13 or 14 years on, Brother A worked for someone else for a time then set up his own business, which is still going along, no helicopter / yacht / private island but he is making a living and gets all his work from word of mouth.
Brother B has had at least 6 or 7 jobs, been pushed or either jumped before being pushed from all the previous ones, and still thinks all customers should treat him with respect because he is da man (ager) and he can act as he fucking pleases, but he's been unemployed since May when his court case came up and he was banned for DD so he lost his job too, of course that was everyone else's fault too.
Contrary to opinion, I don't actually believe that the men on Fab are worse than the women on Fab (or couples) or vice versa, there is a significant minority of all, it is just that if you are a heterosexual single female you're unlikely to encounter it in males and so on.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What an absolute bastard. Leaving a gorgeous girl like you
"Is that a damsel in distress I see?, quickly let me grab my white horse and rush to her aid, maybe once I do she'll feel she owes me... And we all know what women do when they owe you... "
Haha is that how your fantasy plays out?
Not to your taste apparently
In a sarcastic mood right about now lol
Where was the sarcasm? "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He did give you a chance. He showed up, gave you 15 minutes of his time and decided you weren't for him. Personally I think 15 minutes is definitely enough time to make that decision (I can make my mind up in 5) What exactly where you hoping to do with more time, radically change your personality and how you look?
You seem to put up quite a few threads about being rejected (at parties etc) From your profile you look like a very attractive woman but I don't know where you are going wrong. If you were a man you'd be told to man up and shot down in flames but you're a woman, so the white knights can come rescue you."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Made you look!
Kidding x
This is me asking advice on how to get back up after a knock on your confidence.
I recently had a social meet with someone I quite fancied. The social meet only lasted 15 mins, not because I wanted it to end, but he had to meet a friend, which he just mentioned there in the 1st minute of meeting. In that 15 mins he decided we didn't have chemistry. I felt really rushed, I couldn't relax and be me and from the word go, he seemed like he wished he was somewhere else, but with me. When you get that vibe off someone it makes you a little self conscious and feel like an idiot if you started to flirt with them.
That evening he had a last minute play meet, which to me felt like, I wasn't what he wanted even though he'd seen my pictures as we were friends on here. Even though he said that wasn't the case (because he really did have to meet a friend), but eventually said he didn't feel a massive connection between us.
I think what's bugging me is that I felt judged in that short instance and never got to be me.
I know most will say just move on to the next or forget it. But I felt it was an unfair circumstance. Almost like you're just about to talk, but someone thinks they know what you're going to say even before you say it, but they are completely wrong in that assumption.
I apologise in advance to those that are just rolling their eyes at this.
I did however meet a lovely guy after that, but that is still plaguing me.
I just need to shake this off xx"
Get over it Princess, not everyone is going to fancy you. You're putting across this unfortunate appearance of being a spoilt little brat who didn't get her own way. Well that's life, sometimes people are going to say, no. |
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By *aeBabe OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
"Made you look!
Kidding x
This is me asking advice on how to get back up after a knock on your confidence.
I recently had a social meet with someone I quite fancied. The social meet only lasted 15 mins, not because I wanted it to end, but he had to meet a friend, which he just mentioned there in the 1st minute of meeting. In that 15 mins he decided we didn't have chemistry. I felt really rushed, I couldn't relax and be me and from the word go, he seemed like he wished he was somewhere else, but with me. When you get that vibe off someone it makes you a little self conscious and feel like an idiot if you started to flirt with them.
That evening he had a last minute play meet, which to me felt like, I wasn't what he wanted even though he'd seen my pictures as we were friends on here. Even though he said that wasn't the case (because he really did have to meet a friend), but eventually said he didn't feel a massive connection between us.
I think what's bugging me is that I felt judged in that short instance and never got to be me.
I know most will say just move on to the next or forget it. But I felt it was an unfair circumstance. Almost like you're just about to talk, but someone thinks they know what you're going to say even before you say it, but they are completely wrong in that assumption.
I apologise in advance to those that are just rolling their eyes at this.
I did however meet a lovely guy after that, but that is still plaguing me.
I just need to shake this off xx
Get over it Princess, not everyone is going to fancy you. You're putting across this unfortunate appearance of being a spoilt little brat who didn't get her own way. Well that's life, sometimes people are going to say, no. "
Well that was uncalled for 
I don't go around calling people Princess or a spoilt brat. I never in my OP said anything bad about him. So why extend that courtesy to me? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you post a thread you can't control how people respond to it though and to be honest you do come over that way even if you don't mean to !!!"
Except when she repeatedly acknowledges that it's her problem to deal with... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When you post a thread you can't control how people respond to it though and to be honest you do come over that way even if you don't mean to !!!
Except when she repeatedly acknowledges that it's her problem to deal with... "
Very true but people will still respond how they want and not how she wants them too ...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Made you look!
Kidding x
This is me asking advice on how to get back up after a knock on your confidence.
I recently had a social meet with someone I quite fancied. The social meet only lasted 15 mins, not because I wanted it to end, but he had to meet a friend, which he just mentioned there in the 1st minute of meeting. In that 15 mins he decided we didn't have chemistry. I felt really rushed, I couldn't relax and be me and from the word go, he seemed like he wished he was somewhere else, but with me. When you get that vibe off someone it makes you a little self conscious and feel like an idiot if you started to flirt with them.
That evening he had a last minute play meet, which to me felt like, I wasn't what he wanted even though he'd seen my pictures as we were friends on here. Even though he said that wasn't the case (because he really did have to meet a friend), but eventually said he didn't feel a massive connection between us.
I think what's bugging me is that I felt judged in that short instance and never got to be me.
I know most will say just move on to the next or forget it. But I felt it was an unfair circumstance. Almost like you're just about to talk, but someone thinks they know what you're going to say even before you say it, but they are completely wrong in that assumption.
I apologise in advance to those that are just rolling their eyes at this.
I did however meet a lovely guy after that, but that is still plaguing me.
I just need to shake this off xx
Get over it Princess, not everyone is going to fancy you. You're putting across this unfortunate appearance of being a spoilt little brat who didn't get her own way. Well that's life, sometimes people are going to say, no.
Well that was uncalled for
I don't go around calling people Princess or a spoilt brat. I never in my OP said anything bad about him. So why extend that courtesy to me? "
It's just how you come across, someone's little Princess who has never been taught the meaning of no.
Just sayin  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you post a thread you can't control how people respond to it though and to be honest you do come over that way even if you don't mean to !!!
Except when she repeatedly acknowledges that it's her problem to deal with...
Very true but people will still respond how they want and not how she wants them too ......"
Exactly! And I didn't swear or anything......so surely I don't get another time out ??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Not everyone will get on with everyone.
Just put it down to experience and look forward to your next date/meet/gangbang
We have met others that we didnt hit it off with, just had a drink and went on our seperate ways
In the early days we started analysing things but took some advice and moved on.
Happy swinging
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The majority of my meets have gone like this! I know 'instantly' weather its going to be taken further.
Albeit I've never changed my 'time' allowance whilst there, and I have been known to chat to some lovely guys for hrs. But I have also used 'excuses' when that time allowance has trailed on.
I don't feel great for doing it and do feel guilty at times but i just couldn't bring myself to take it further and lower my esteem afterwards.
I've also been 'victim' to last min cancellations: hence the break I'm having from meets at the min. It can seek knock your confidence!
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By *aeBabe OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
"When you post a thread you can't control how people respond to it though and to be honest you do come over that way even if you don't mean to !!!
Except when she repeatedly acknowledges that it's her problem to deal with...
Very true but people will still respond how they want and not how she wants them too ......"
even though I acknowledge that the problem is an internal problem I have to deal with, people still chose to interpret me as a spoilt brat?
Don't you just love people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What an absolute bastard. Leaving a gorgeous girl like you
"Is that a damsel in distress I see?, quickly let me grab my white horse and rush to her aid, maybe once I do she'll feel she owes me... And we all know what women do when they owe you... "
Haha is that how your fantasy plays out?
In a sarcastic mood right about now lol "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When you post a thread you can't control how people respond to it though and to be honest you do come over that way even if you don't mean to !!!
Except when she repeatedly acknowledges that it's her problem to deal with...
Very true but people will still respond how they want and not how she wants them too ......
even though I acknowledge that the problem is an internal problem I have to deal with, people still chose to interpret me as a spoilt brat?
Don't you just love people "
you have had a lot of responses on this post,but you only choose to reply to one that calls you a name..have you taken in anything from what any other posts said?.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When you post a thread you can't control how people respond to it though and to be honest you do come over that way even if you don't mean to !!!
Except when she repeatedly acknowledges that it's her problem to deal with...
Very true but people will still respond how they want and not how she wants them too ......
even though I acknowledge that the problem is an internal problem I have to deal with, people still chose to interpret me as a spoilt brat?
Don't you just love people
you have had a lot of responses on this post,but you only choose to reply to one that calls you a name..have you taken in anything from what any other posts said?.."
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By *aeBabe OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
"When you post a thread you can't control how people respond to it though and to be honest you do come over that way even if you don't mean to !!!
Except when she repeatedly acknowledges that it's her problem to deal with...
Very true but people will still respond how they want and not how she wants them too ......
even though I acknowledge that the problem is an internal problem I have to deal with, people still chose to interpret me as a spoilt brat?
Don't you just love people
you have had a lot of responses on this post,but you only choose to reply to one that calls you a name..have you taken in anything from what any other posts said?.."
Of course I have.
I have already stated that I do believe that the problem does lie with me. I have blocked him, I have started to move on from it. I actually "slept on it" and felt better than when I first posted the OP.
Sorry I can't reply to everything, but I have taken in and considered all that has been said.
I appreciate every opinion that has been contributed to this post, but I obviously won't like the tone of all posts.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When you post a thread you can't control how people respond to it though and to be honest you do come over that way even if you don't mean to !!!
Except when she repeatedly acknowledges that it's her problem to deal with...
Very true but people will still respond how they want and not how she wants them too ......
even though I acknowledge that the problem is an internal problem I have to deal with, people still chose to interpret me as a spoilt brat?
Don't you just love people
you have had a lot of responses on this post,but you only choose to reply to one that calls you a name..have you taken in anything from what any other posts said?..
Of course I have.
I have already stated that I do believe that the problem does lie with me. I have blocked him, I have started to move on from it. I actually "slept on it" and felt better than when I first posted the OP.
Sorry I can't reply to everything, but I have taken in and considered all that has been said.
I appreciate every opinion that has been contributed to this post, but I obviously won't like the tone of all posts.
"
Do you think you could re-phrase that post to sound less mature and more like the stereotype of a princess? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Made you look!
Kidding x
This is me asking advice on how to get back up after a knock on your confidence.
I recently had a social meet with someone I quite fancied. The social meet only lasted 15 mins, not because I wanted it to end, but he had to meet a friend, which he just mentioned there in the 1st minute of meeting. In that 15 mins he decided we didn't have chemistry. I felt really rushed, I couldn't relax and be me and from the word go, he seemed like he wished he was somewhere else, but with me. When you get that vibe off someone it makes you a little self conscious and feel like an idiot if you started to flirt with them.
That evening he had a last minute play meet, which to me felt like, I wasn't what he wanted even though he'd seen my pictures as we were friends on here. Even though he said that wasn't the case (because he really did have to meet a friend), but eventually said he didn't feel a massive connection between us.
I think what's bugging me is that I felt judged in that short instance and never got to be me.
I know most will say just move on to the next or forget it. But I felt it was an unfair circumstance. Almost like you're just about to talk, but someone thinks they know what you're going to say even before you say it, but they are completely wrong in that assumption.
I apologise in advance to those that are just rolling their eyes at this.
I did however meet a lovely guy after that, but that is still plaguing me.
I just need to shake this off xx"
If the scenario was reversed in terms of gender no one would give this a second thought |
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By *aeBabe OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
"Made you look!
Kidding x
This is me asking advice on how to get back up after a knock on your confidence.
I recently had a social meet with someone I quite fancied. The social meet only lasted 15 mins, not because I wanted it to end, but he had to meet a friend, which he just mentioned there in the 1st minute of meeting. In that 15 mins he decided we didn't have chemistry. I felt really rushed, I couldn't relax and be me and from the word go, he seemed like he wished he was somewhere else, but with me. When you get that vibe off someone it makes you a little self conscious and feel like an idiot if you started to flirt with them.
That evening he had a last minute play meet, which to me felt like, I wasn't what he wanted even though he'd seen my pictures as we were friends on here. Even though he said that wasn't the case (because he really did have to meet a friend), but eventually said he didn't feel a massive connection between us.
I think what's bugging me is that I felt judged in that short instance and never got to be me.
I know most will say just move on to the next or forget it. But I felt it was an unfair circumstance. Almost like you're just about to talk, but someone thinks they know what you're going to say even before you say it, but they are completely wrong in that assumption.
I apologise in advance to those that are just rolling their eyes at this.
I did however meet a lovely guy after that, but that is still plaguing me.
I just need to shake this off xx
If the scenario was reversed in terms of gender no one would give this a second thought "
Which is sad in itself. Men have feelings of insecurity too. |
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By *aeBabe OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
"When you post a thread you can't control how people respond to it though and to be honest you do come over that way even if you don't mean to !!!
Except when she repeatedly acknowledges that it's her problem to deal with...
Very true but people will still respond how they want and not how she wants them too ......
even though I acknowledge that the problem is an internal problem I have to deal with, people still chose to interpret me as a spoilt brat?
Don't you just love people
you have had a lot of responses on this post,but you only choose to reply to one that calls you a name..have you taken in anything from what any other posts said?..
Of course I have.
I have already stated that I do believe that the problem does lie with me. I have blocked him, I have started to move on from it. I actually "slept on it" and felt better than when I first posted the OP.
Sorry I can't reply to everything, but I have taken in and considered all that has been said.
I appreciate every opinion that has been contributed to this post, but I obviously won't like the tone of all posts.
Do you think you could re-phrase that post to sound less mature and more like the stereotype of a princess? "
Afraid not |
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"I hope the man in question isn't reading this
I didn't mention any specifics "
I was referring to all the assumptions people breaking about this man's character and he will surely be able to recognise himself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When you post a thread you can't control how people respond to it though and to be honest you do come over that way even if you don't mean to !!!
Except when she repeatedly acknowledges that it's her problem to deal with...
Very true but people will still respond how they want and not how she wants them too ......
even though I acknowledge that the problem is an internal problem I have to deal with, people still chose to interpret me as a spoilt brat?
Don't you just love people
you have had a lot of responses on this post,but you only choose to reply to one that calls you a name..have you taken in anything from what any other posts said?..
Of course I have.
I have already stated that I do believe that the problem does lie with me. I have blocked him, I have started to move on from it. I actually "slept on it" and felt better than when I first posted the OP.
Sorry I can't reply to everything, but I have taken in and considered all that has been said.
I appreciate every opinion that has been contributed to this post, but I obviously won't like the tone of all posts.
Do you think you could re-phrase that post to sound less mature and more like the stereotype of a princess? "
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i have felt like that some times when i have been to a social but now i just think they are not worth the effort i can tell straight away if i will click or not and if not then that's fine by me but i know what you mean the assume in the first instance
to assume makes an Ass Out Of You And ME
he had already made his mind up before he even went through the door i feel for you its like his second choice
plenty of more swingers on here that's what i say but it is very annoying indeed
it was prob you weren't good enough for you
kind regards Michelle xxx |
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By *aeBabe OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
"Ignore and move on, your profile says no single men though "
That only means I have blocked single men from messaging me and message those I'm interested in. It's easier to manage your inbox that way. |
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By *aeBabe OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
"i have felt like that some times when i have been to a social but now i just think they are not worth the effort i can tell straight away if i will click or not and if not then that's fine by me but i know what you mean the assume in the first instance
to assume makes an Ass Out Of You And ME
he had already made his mind up before he even went through the door i feel for you its like his second choice
plenty of more swingers on here that's what i say but it is very annoying indeed
it was prob you weren't good enough for you
kind regards Michelle xxx"
Thanks hun, that's exactly how I meant it xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i have felt like that some times when i have been to a social but now i just think they are not worth the effort i can tell straight away if i will click or not and if not then that's fine by me but i know what you mean the assume in the first instance
to assume makes an Ass Out Of You And ME
he had already made his mind up before he even went through the door i feel for you its like his second choice
plenty of more swingers on here that's what i say but it is very annoying indeed
it was prob you weren't good enough for you
kind regards Michelle xxx"
Run that 'assume' bit by me again?? You are 'assuming' that he had made his mind up before he went?? Do you know the chap she met? Why is he the bad guy? The issue is with the OP not him. He met for a social which went no further. That's all! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i have felt like that some times when i have been to a social but now i just think they are not worth the effort i can tell straight away if i will click or not and if not then that's fine by me but i know what you mean the assume in the first instance
to assume makes an Ass Out Of You And ME
he had already made his mind up before he even went through the door i feel for you its like his second choice
plenty of more swingers on here that's what i say but it is very annoying indeed
it was prob you weren't good enough for you
kind regards Michelle xxx
Run that 'assume' bit by me again?? You are 'assuming' that he had made his mind up before he went?? Do you know the chap she met? Why is he the bad guy? The issue is with the OP not him. He met for a social which went no further. That's all!"
Exactly.....but there there, poor little princess |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You're seriously gorgeous and have a really nice profile. Sometimes people just don't click for whatever reason and he didn't sound particularly tactful either. I wouldn't worry about it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i have felt like that some times when i have been to a social but now i just think they are not worth the effort i can tell straight away if i will click or not and if not then that's fine by me but i know what you mean the assume in the first instance
to assume makes an Ass Out Of You And ME
he had already made his mind up before he even went through the door i feel for you its like his second choice
plenty of more swingers on here that's what i say but it is very annoying indeed
it was prob you weren't good enough for you
kind regards Michelle xxx
Run that 'assume' bit by me again?? You are 'assuming' that he had made his mind up before he went?? Do you know the chap she met? Why is he the bad guy? The issue is with the OP not him. He met for a social which went no further. That's all!
Exactly.....but there there, poor little princess "
You seem to have taken an issue with the OP on this thread, maybe not, but it's how I read it unfortunately. It makes me wonder why? The OP has said several times it's her issue, why keep on going back to this?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's happened to me...was on another site, got chatting to a guy, found that we had a lot in common. Messages, texts, long phone calls, the whole lot. Then we arranged to meet. He didn't make an effort to dress smartly, was in a scruffy T-shirt and cargos. We met at a pub on the riverside and we ended up chatting about the swans! The spark that had been there on the phone was not there in real-life. He left me rather abruptly, (rudely I thought) and made some comment about my having had another meet recently. I was disappointed, especially as we had hit it off on-line, but you have to move on.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i have felt like that some times when i have been to a social but now i just think they are not worth the effort i can tell straight away if i will click or not and if not then that's fine by me but i know what you mean the assume in the first instance
to assume makes an Ass Out Of You And ME
he had already made his mind up before he even went through the door i feel for you its like his second choice
plenty of more swingers on here that's what i say but it is very annoying indeed
it was prob you weren't good enough for you
kind regards Michelle xxx
Run that 'assume' bit by me again?? You are 'assuming' that he had made his mind up before he went?? Do you know the chap she met? Why is he the bad guy? The issue is with the OP not him. He met for a social which went no further. That's all!
Exactly.....but there there, poor little princess
You seem to have taken an issue with the OP on this thread, maybe not, but it's how I read it unfortunately. It makes me wonder why? The OP has said several times it's her issue, why keep on going back to this??"
Because of my right to freedom of speech that's why. If it annoys you then tough. The OP came on here with the opening lines of "Made you look" all flippant and casual then gave a bleeding heart story on a public forum for people who pay their FAB subscription to have their view. It is my view that she comes across as a spoiled little Princess who got a knock back. That is my opinion....and I haven't even sworn, so actually I'm not doing too badly today |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i have felt like that some times when i have been to a social but now i just think they are not worth the effort i can tell straight away if i will click or not and if not then that's fine by me but i know what you mean the assume in the first instance
to assume makes an Ass Out Of You And ME
he had already made his mind up before he even went through the door i feel for you its like his second choice
plenty of more swingers on here that's what i say but it is very annoying indeed
it was prob you weren't good enough for you
kind regards Michelle xxx
Run that 'assume' bit by me again?? You are 'assuming' that he had made his mind up before he went?? Do you know the chap she met? Why is he the bad guy? The issue is with the OP not him. He met for a social which went no further. That's all!
Exactly.....but there there, poor little princess
You seem to have taken an issue with the OP on this thread, maybe not, but it's how I read it unfortunately. It makes me wonder why? The OP has said several times it's her issue, why keep on going back to this??
Because of my right to freedom of speech that's why. If it annoys you then tough. The OP came on here with the opening lines of "Made you look" all flippant and casual then gave a bleeding heart story on a public forum for people who pay their FAB subscription to have their view. It is my view that she comes across as a spoiled little Princess who got a knock back. That is my opinion....and I haven't even sworn, so actually I'm not doing too badly today "
I never said it annoyed me, it was a simple question, it is a public forum, a fact not in dispute, but your tone towards me now in that response, does nothing to endere you |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"It's happened to me...was on another site, got chatting to a guy, found that we had a lot in common. Messages, texts, long phone calls, the whole lot. Then we arranged to meet. He didn't make an effort to dress smartly, was in a scruffy T-shirt and cargos. We met at a pub on the riverside and we ended up chatting about the swans! The spark that had been there on the phone was not there in real-life. He left me rather abruptly, (rudely I thought) and made some comment about my having had another meet recently. I was disappointed, especially as we had hit it off on-line, but you have to move on.
"
These things happen. But I must admit I would hope someone could spare more than 15 mins for me. Even for a social. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's happened to me...was on another site, got chatting to a guy, found that we had a lot in common. Messages, texts, long phone calls, the whole lot. Then we arranged to meet. He didn't make an effort to dress smartly, was in a scruffy T-shirt and cargos. We met at a pub on the riverside and we ended up chatting about the swans! The spark that had been there on the phone was not there in real-life. He left me rather abruptly, (rudely I thought) and made some comment about my having had another meet recently. I was disappointed, especially as we had hit it off on-line, but you have to move on.
These things happen. But I must admit I would hope someone could spare more than 15 mins for me. Even for a social."
You get tell a lot about a person in 15 minutes...
I guess you don't have speed dating in the UK |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i have felt like that some times when i have been to a social but now i just think they are not worth the effort i can tell straight away if i will click or not and if not then that's fine by me but i know what you mean the assume in the first instance
to assume makes an Ass Out Of You And ME
he had already made his mind up before he even went through the door i feel for you its like his second choice
plenty of more swingers on here that's what i say but it is very annoying indeed
it was prob you weren't good enough for you
kind regards Michelle xxx
Run that 'assume' bit by me again?? You are 'assuming' that he had made his mind up before he went?? Do you know the chap she met? Why is he the bad guy? The issue is with the OP not him. He met for a social which went no further. That's all!
Exactly.....but there there, poor little princess
You seem to have taken an issue with the OP on this thread, maybe not, but it's how I read it unfortunately. It makes me wonder why? The OP has said several times it's her issue, why keep on going back to this??
Because of my right to freedom of speech that's why. If it annoys you then tough. The OP came on here with the opening lines of "Made you look" all flippant and casual then gave a bleeding heart story on a public forum for people who pay their FAB subscription to have their view. It is my view that she comes across as a spoiled little Princess who got a knock back. That is my opinion....and I haven't even sworn, so actually I'm not doing too badly today
I never said it annoyed me, it was a simple question, it is a public forum, a fact not in dispute, but your tone towards me now in that response, does nothing to endere you "
Oh dear how sad, never mind |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"It's happened to me...was on another site, got chatting to a guy, found that we had a lot in common. Messages, texts, long phone calls, the whole lot. Then we arranged to meet. He didn't make an effort to dress smartly, was in a scruffy T-shirt and cargos. We met at a pub on the riverside and we ended up chatting about the swans! The spark that had been there on the phone was not there in real-life. He left me rather abruptly, (rudely I thought) and made some comment about my having had another meet recently. I was disappointed, especially as we had hit it off on-line, but you have to move on.
These things happen. But I must admit I would hope someone could spare more than 15 mins for me. Even for a social.
You get tell a lot about a person in 15 minutes...
I guess you don't have speed dating in the UK "
Indeed, but if I was given the choice of meeting a guy for 15 mins on his way to another meet, or a nice evening with nsa drinks n chat, guess which one I'd go for? And most others would be the same.
People are bending so far backwards to prove the OP is some sort of special snowflake they're completely missing the fact she had no idea he was going to do that. I'd feel shit too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People are mean on here today, jeez... I think at the point she admitted that she thought the issue was internal, any sob story was squashed. She's taken personal responsibility and (looks like) steps to grow.
Some of the comments on here go on like you've never been human and just reacted badly to something.
She's dealt with this maturely (not perfectly) in my opinion and if this was a guy I'd commend him for looking internally and growing.
Keep moving forward! |
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By *aeBabe OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
Thank you to all that have contributed to this post constructively whether I agreed or disagreed with your opinion I respect your view. I understand that I have to move on and such is life it will only make my skin thicker.
As for those that have resorted to insulting me like I'm an ignorant child who "didn't get her way", I think your thinking has more to say about you than it does me. Low blows don't bother me, maybe look internally yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you to all that have contributed to this post constructively whether I agreed or disagreed with your opinion I respect your view. I understand that I have to move on and such is life it will only make my skin thicker.
As for those that have resorted to insulting me like I'm an ignorant child who "didn't get her way", I think your thinking has more to say about you than it does me. Low blows don't bother me, maybe look internally yourself."
Yeh you hit your block button love lol lol lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you to all that have contributed to this post constructively whether I agreed or disagreed with your opinion I respect your view. I understand that I have to move on and such is life it will only make my skin thicker.
As for those that have resorted to insulting me like I'm an ignorant child who "didn't get her way", I think your thinking has more to say about you than it does me. Low blows don't bother me, maybe look internally yourself."
|
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Thank you to all that have contributed to this post constructively whether I agreed or disagreed with your opinion I respect your view. I understand that I have to move on and such is life it will only make my skin thicker.
As for those that have resorted to insulting me like I'm an ignorant child who "didn't get her way", I think your thinking has more to say about you than it does me. Low blows don't bother me, maybe look internally yourself.
Yeh you hit your block button love lol lol lol
"
You, sir, are no gentleman. |
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"I think what's bugging me is that I felt judged in that short instance and never got to be me."
It's a natural human trait to judge quickly unfortunately.
It sounds to me like he didn't like the look of you in person and didn't know how to handle it.
Having said that, I'm hoping you don't like the thought of him now, after he did that, and he's just someone you once met |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you to all that have contributed to this post constructively whether I agreed or disagreed with your opinion I respect your view. I understand that I have to move on and such is life it will only make my skin thicker.
As for those that have resorted to insulting me like I'm an ignorant child who "didn't get her way", I think your thinking has more to say about you than it does me. Low blows don't bother me, maybe look internally yourself.
Yeh you hit your block button love lol lol lol
You, sir, are no gentleman. "
Ouch! I'm welling up here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i have felt like that some times when i have been to a social but now i just think they are not worth the effort i can tell straight away if i will click or not and if not then that's fine by me but i know what you mean the assume in the first instance
to assume makes an Ass Out Of You And ME
he had already made his mind up before he even went through the door i feel for you its like his second choice
plenty of more swingers on here that's what i say but it is very annoying indeed
it was prob you weren't good enough for you
kind regards Michelle xxx
Run that 'assume' bit by me again?? You are 'assuming' that he had made his mind up before he went?? Do you know the chap she met? Why is he the bad guy? The issue is with the OP not him. He met for a social which went no further. That's all!
Exactly.....but there there, poor little princess
You seem to have taken an issue with the OP on this thread, maybe not, but it's how I read it unfortunately. It makes me wonder why? The OP has said several times it's her issue, why keep on going back to this??
Because of my right to freedom of speech that's why. If it annoys you then tough. The OP came on here with the opening lines of "Made you look" all flippant and casual then gave a bleeding heart story on a public forum for people who pay their FAB subscription to have their view. It is my view that she comes across as a spoiled little Princess who got a knock back. That is my opinion....and I haven't even sworn, so actually I'm not doing too badly today
I never said it annoyed me, it was a simple question, it is a public forum, a fact not in dispute, but your tone towards me now in that response, does nothing to endere you
Oh dear how sad, never mind "
You're not a very nice guy are you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i have felt like that some times when i have been to a social but now i just think they are not worth the effort i can tell straight away if i will click or not and if not then that's fine by me but i know what you mean the assume in the first instance
to assume makes an Ass Out Of You And ME
he had already made his mind up before he even went through the door i feel for you its like his second choice
plenty of more swingers on here that's what i say but it is very annoying indeed
it was prob you weren't good enough for you
kind regards Michelle xxx
Run that 'assume' bit by me again?? You are 'assuming' that he had made his mind up before he went?? Do you know the chap she met? Why is he the bad guy? The issue is with the OP not him. He met for a social which went no further. That's all!
Exactly.....but there there, poor little princess
You seem to have taken an issue with the OP on this thread, maybe not, but it's how I read it unfortunately. It makes me wonder why? The OP has said several times it's her issue, why keep on going back to this??
Because of my right to freedom of speech that's why. If it annoys you then tough. The OP came on here with the opening lines of "Made you look" all flippant and casual then gave a bleeding heart story on a public forum for people who pay their FAB subscription to have their view. It is my view that she comes across as a spoiled little Princess who got a knock back. That is my opinion....and I haven't even sworn, so actually I'm not doing too badly today
I never said it annoyed me, it was a simple question, it is a public forum, a fact not in dispute, but your tone towards me now in that response, does nothing to endere you
Oh dear how sad, never mind
You're not a very nice guy are you? "
Why, because I have a different view point?
Because I speak my mind and possibly what others are thinking? Because I won't bow down?
Quite frankly I don't care what you think about me, I don't know you and never will so nothing lost there.
I have had random Fabbers PM me with similar thoughts to mine so each to their own view point. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i have felt like that some times when i have been to a social but now i just think they are not worth the effort i can tell straight away if i will click or not and if not then that's fine by me but i know what you mean the assume in the first instance
to assume makes an Ass Out Of You And ME
he had already made his mind up before he even went through the door i feel for you its like his second choice
plenty of more swingers on here that's what i say but it is very annoying indeed
it was prob you weren't good enough for you
kind regards Michelle xxx
Run that 'assume' bit by me again?? You are 'assuming' that he had made his mind up before he went?? Do you know the chap she met? Why is he the bad guy? The issue is with the OP not him. He met for a social which went no further. That's all!
Exactly.....but there there, poor little princess
You seem to have taken an issue with the OP on this thread, maybe not, but it's how I read it unfortunately. It makes me wonder why? The OP has said several times it's her issue, why keep on going back to this??
Because of my right to freedom of speech that's why. If it annoys you then tough. The OP came on here with the opening lines of "Made you look" all flippant and casual then gave a bleeding heart story on a public forum for people who pay their FAB subscription to have their view. It is my view that she comes across as a spoiled little Princess who got a knock back. That is my opinion....and I haven't even sworn, so actually I'm not doing too badly today
I never said it annoyed me, it was a simple question, it is a public forum, a fact not in dispute, but your tone towards me now in that response, does nothing to endere you
Oh dear how sad, never mind
You're not a very nice guy are you?
Why, because I have a different view point?
Because I speak my mind and possibly what others are thinking? Because I won't bow down?
Quite frankly I don't care what you think about me, I don't know you and never will so nothing lost there.
I have had random Fabbers PM me with similar thoughts to mine so each to their own view point. "
Everyone's entitled to an opinion but it says something about a person when they can't express that opinion without being unkind. You come across really quite bitter and as if you have an axe to grind with the op |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Why, because I have a different view point?
Because I speak my mind and possibly what others are thinking? Because I won't bow down?
Quite frankly I don't care what you think about me, I don't know you and never will so nothing lost there.
I have had random Fabbers PM me with similar thoughts to mine so each to their own view point. "
I kinda feel like if you're going to be a dick, you should just admit it and just be shameless about it.
The whole "speaking my mind" thing isn't really what's going on, a whole range of people have spoken their mind without being a dick about it. Of course if you want to be a dick that's fine, but I don't think it's justifiable under the banner of "speaking your mind" or "saying what others are thinking" I think that is a cop out for being irresponsible with your word. A very common cop out at that. |
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"What a shallow man
Unfortunately lots of men are shallow ....and think they can treat women how ever they wish ....hold your head high girl ... his loss "
I'm not sure calling someone shallow because they decide they didn't fancy fucking someone but if so then vice versa also. We've all had rejections on here, especially the single guys. The OP is right in her later post when she says she's dwelling on it too much.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Why, because I have a different view point?
Because I speak my mind and possibly what others are thinking? Because I won't bow down?
Quite frankly I don't care what you think about me, I don't know you and never will so nothing lost there.
I have had random Fabbers PM me with similar thoughts to mine so each to their own view point.
I kinda feel like if you're going to be a dick, you should just admit it and just be shameless about it.
The whole "speaking my mind" thing isn't really what's going on, a whole range of people have spoken their mind without being a dick about it. Of course if you want to be a dick that's fine, but I don't think it's justifiable under the banner of "speaking your mind" or "saying what others are thinking" I think that is a cop out for being irresponsible with your word. A very common cop out at that. "
And I am supposed to care what you think l, WHY?
Jog on mate lol |
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"Made you look!
Kidding x
This is me asking advice on how to get back up after a knock on your confidence.
I recently had a social meet with someone I quite fancied. The social meet only lasted 15 mins, not because I wanted it to end, but he had to meet a friend, which he just mentioned there in the 1st minute of meeting. In that 15 mins he decided we didn't have chemistry. I felt really rushed, I couldn't relax and be me and from the word go, he seemed like he wished he was somewhere else, but with me. When you get that vibe off someone it makes you a little self conscious and feel like an idiot if you started to flirt with them.
That evening he had a last minute play meet, which to me felt like, I wasn't what he wanted even though he'd seen my pictures as we were friends on here. Even though he said that wasn't the case (because he really did have to meet a friend), but eventually said he didn't feel a massive connection between us.
I think what's bugging me is that I felt judged in that short instance and never got to be me.
I know most will say just move on to the next or forget it. But I felt it was an unfair circumstance. Almost like you're just about to talk, but someone thinks they know what you're going to say even before you say it, but they are completely wrong in that assumption.
I apologise in advance to those that are just rolling their eyes at this.
I did however meet a lovely guy after that, but that is still plaguing me.
I just need to shake this off xx"
He sounds like a rather ill mannered individual if he mentioned in the first minute of meeting that he had to meet a friend . Ill manners is a reflection on him , not you .
This has probably happened to most members on occasiona so is not a reflection on you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thanks for all the replies. Have realised that I've been lingering on it for too long. Owww well...
Apologies again for that... I think I'm seriously PMSing.
I totally understand it's his choice as it is mine on many numerous occasions, doesn't mean the blow isn't really, but I just need thicker skin "
Welcome to the wonderful world of Fab! Just look at it as a lucky escape, block & move on, he obviously doesn't deserve all this second guessing & concern |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He did give you a chance. He showed up, gave you 15 minutes of his time and decided you weren't for him. Personally I think 15 minutes is definitely enough time to make that decision (I can make my mind up in 5) What exactly where you hoping to do with more time, radically change your personality and how you look?
You seem to put up quite a few threads about being rejected (at parties etc) From your profile you look like a very attractive woman but I don't know where you are going wrong. If you were a man you'd be told to man up and shot down in flames but you're a woman, so the white knights can come rescue you.
33 verifications suggests she isn't doing that badly!! "
Perhaps that's part of the problem.
After 33 successful meets, one that was less than perfect must have been quite a surprise. |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
Hi there
I scan read the replies. Perhaps he'd read some of the suggestions on a recent thread about "get out options" when you don't fancy someone. . Don't sweat it. Who knows he might have been a really nice guy, just realised really quickly you weren't for him.
Sure it knocks anyone back a little but everyone can't fancy everyone.
He didn't fancy you. You know the drill... Dust down. Move on... No one did anything wrong.
V xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think that you need to look at this from the other angle, you basically escaped a shallow, disrespectful individual. Don't waste energy on people like this, just be grateful you saw their true colours sooner rather than later. X"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think that you need to look at this from the other angle, you basically escaped a shallow, disrespectful individual. Don't waste energy on people like this, just be grateful you saw their true colours sooner rather than later. X "
If the OP was a man would you still agree with this? I cant see how the case of him turning up and giving her some of his time, but deciding she wasn't for him makes HIM the shallow and disrespectful one! Unbelievable!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's happened to me...was on another site, got chatting to a guy, found that we had a lot in common. Messages, texts, long phone calls, the whole lot. Then we arranged to meet. He didn't make an effort to dress smartly, was in a scruffy T-shirt and cargos. We met at a pub on the riverside and we ended up chatting about the swans! The spark that had been there on the phone was not there in real-life. He left me rather abruptly, (rudely I thought) and made some comment about my having had another meet recently. I was disappointed, especially as we had hit it off on-line, but you have to move on.
These things happen. But I must admit I would hope someone could spare more than 15 mins for me. Even for a social.
You get tell a lot about a person in 15 minutes...
I guess you don't have speed dating in the UK
Indeed, but if I was given the choice of meeting a guy for 15 mins on his way to another meet, or a nice evening with nsa drinks n chat, guess which one I'd go for? And most others would be the same.
People are bending so far backwards to prove the OP is some sort of special snowflake they're completely missing the fact she had no idea he was going to do that. I'd feel shit too. "
Anyone would. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Why, because I have a different view point?
Because I speak my mind and possibly what others are thinking? Because I won't bow down?
Quite frankly I don't care what you think about me, I don't know you and never will so nothing lost there.
I have had random Fabbers PM me with similar thoughts to mine so each to their own view point.
I kinda feel like if you're going to be a dick, you should just admit it and just be shameless about it.
The whole "speaking my mind" thing isn't really what's going on, a whole range of people have spoken their mind without being a dick about it. Of course if you want to be a dick that's fine, but I don't think it's justifiable under the banner of "speaking your mind" or "saying what others are thinking" I think that is a cop out for being irresponsible with your word. A very common cop out at that.
And I am supposed to care what you think l, WHY?
Jog on mate lol "
Who pissed on your cornflakes?!
You're coming across like you have a personal grudge as opposed to a difference of opinion. |
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You need to think about the decent guys that have messaged you but weren't your cup of tea how many people go on meets then decide "nah not for me" isn't that the idea of a social meet? You might have liked him but get over it I'm sure there's plenty of blokes who have had the same treatment but that's life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Actually just remembered wife had a very similar social. She knew beforehand he didn't have much time as it was his dinner hour.
She got to the pub first, got herself a drink, he sat down didn't even bother buying a drink. She hadn't finished her drink by the time he'd gone.
Was she bothered? No. It happens.
I'd even forgot about it this whole duration of the thread which tells you it's behind us.
Lots more to play with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i have felt like that some times when i have been to a social but now i just think they are not worth the effort i can tell straight away if i will click or not and if not then that's fine by me but i know what you mean the assume in the first instance
to assume makes an Ass Out Of You And ME
he had already made his mind up before he even went through the door i feel for you its like his second choice
plenty of more swingers on here that's what i say but it is very annoying indeed
it was prob you weren't good enough for you
kind regards Michelle xxx
Run that 'assume' bit by me again?? You are 'assuming' that he had made his mind up before he went?? Do you know the chap she met? Why is he the bad guy? The issue is with the OP not him. He met for a social which went no further. That's all!"
Most posts that one reads through are more often than not filled with replies/comments which are more reflective of a 'bee in the bonnet' or personal bugbear that someone carries and wants to air rather than the OP. Makes for interesting reading when viewing their profiles too.
Mae....There have been lots of good understanding posts here and many of us understand the inner frustrations associated with meets that don't go as we hope. It'spart of the learning curve of FAB. Some become very thick skinned and ccallused over time which I understand but isn't endearing. ...some stay soft inside, but inveriably suffer a bit...but they actually are the ones one wants to meet here...continue to be a nice one to meet and those who get the chance will appreciate it even more. All the best |
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Quite possibly, in the future, you may have a similar reaction to a guy you arrange to meet face to face, and think nothing of it yourself. Don't take it so personal, if it's not working for the both of you, don't try to make it happen, just move on. Sorry if this sounds like a predictable reply |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Why, because I have a different view point?
Because I speak my mind and possibly what others are thinking? Because I won't bow down?
Quite frankly I don't care what you think about me, I don't know you and never will so nothing lost there.
I have had random Fabbers PM me with similar thoughts to mine so each to their own view point.
I kinda feel like if you're going to be a dick, you should just admit it and just be shameless about it.
The whole "speaking my mind" thing isn't really what's going on, a whole range of people have spoken their mind without being a dick about it. Of course if you want to be a dick that's fine, but I don't think it's justifiable under the banner of "speaking your mind" or "saying what others are thinking" I think that is a cop out for being irresponsible with your word. A very common cop out at that.
And I am supposed to care what you think l, WHY?
Jog on mate lol "
Let me know where I implied you're suppose to care? This is how a public forum works mate, just like you've criticised what others say... I'm criticising you. It is what it is cupcake. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Most posts that one reads through are more often than not filled with replies/comments which are more reflective of a 'bee in the bonnet' or personal bugbear that someone carries and wants to air rather than the OP. Makes for interesting reading when viewing their profiles too.
Mae....There have been lots of good understanding posts here and many of us understand the inner frustrations associated with meets that don't go as we hope. It'spart of the learning curve of FAB. Some become very thick skinned and ccallused over time which I understand but isn't endearing. ...some stay soft inside, but inveriably suffer a bit...but they actually are the ones one wants to meet here...continue to be a nice one to meet and those who get the chance will appreciate it even more. All the best "
I actually  this post. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The next time anyone meets for a social and you don't fancy the other person. I think it should be mandatory you have to stay for at least 1 hour "
Can you stay in the place but at a different table? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The next time anyone meets for a social and you don't fancy the other person. I think it should be mandatory you have to stay for at least 1 hour "
I will stop doing social meets then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
He could have thought fuck it,I don't feel any chemistry but I'll fuck her anyway and made you feel worse after blocking you later. You have plenty of people who think you're great,don't dwell on the ones who don't.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The next time anyone meets for a social and you don't fancy the other person. I think it should be mandatory you have to stay for at least 1 hour "
I've stayed and had a drink with someone I felt no chemistry with,because I was enjoying his company. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The next time anyone meets for a social and you don't fancy the other person. I think it should be mandatory you have to stay for at least 1 hour
I've stayed and had a drink with someone I felt no chemistry with,because I was enjoying his company. "
Would you like to meet for coffee?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The next time anyone meets for a social and you don't fancy the other person. I think it should be mandatory you have to stay for at least 1 hour
I've stayed and had a drink with someone I felt no chemistry with,because I was enjoying his company.
Would you like to meet for coffee?
"
Manhattan is a long way for a chat over coffee |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The next time anyone meets for a social and you don't fancy the other person. I think it should be mandatory you have to stay for at least 1 hour
I've stayed and had a drink with someone I felt no chemistry with,because I was enjoying his company.
Would you like to meet for coffee?
Manhattan is a long way for a chat over coffee "
Well I'm a whore , so you will definitely get a shag |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You just need to move on and concentrate on someone that is interested. You're obviously a nice girl and you have no issues in the looks department . He probably wasn't worth your time anyway |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Made you look!
Kidding x
This is me asking advice on how to get back up after a knock on your confidence.
I recently had a social meet with someone I quite fancied. The social meet only lasted 15 mins, not because I wanted it to end, but he had to meet a friend, which he just mentioned there in the 1st minute of meeting. In that 15 mins he decided we didn't have chemistry. I felt really rushed, I couldn't relax and be me and from the word go, he seemed like he wished he was somewhere else, but with me. When you get that vibe off someone it makes you a little self conscious and feel like an idiot if you started to flirt with them.
That evening he had a last minute play meet, which to me felt like, I wasn't what he wanted even though he'd seen my pictures as we were friends on here. Even though he said that wasn't the case (because he really did have to meet a friend), but eventually said he didn't feel a massive connection between us.
I think what's bugging me is that I felt judged in that short instance and never got to be me.
I know most will say just move on to the next or forget it. But I felt it was an unfair circumstance. Almost like you're just about to talk, but someone thinks they know what you're going to say even before you say it, but they are completely wrong in that assumption.
I apologise in advance to those that are just rolling their eyes at this.
I did however meet a lovely guy after that, but that is still plaguing me.
I just need to shake this off xx
If the scenario was reversed in terms of gender no one would give this a second thought
Which is sad in itself. Men have feelings of insecurity too."
Yes but sadly on this site people become keyboard warriors and think they can act in ways that would be unacceptable in the real world. |
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