FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Year without a meet - is this a problem?

Year without a meet - is this a problem?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Recently had a convo with a couple whose initial message was to ask why we hadn't had a meet in a year since joining, then declined us when we said we hadn't meet anyone as we simply hadn't found anyone we liked enough.

Now we fully respect their decision to make their choices based on whatever they like, but just found it an odd thing to say. Admittedly we can be fussy, and dont use Fab all the time, but we're also in no rush to do this for sake of ticking a box.

Is this an issue for the usual Fab members though? Cos, if so, we make as well stop using the site.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *igboobstCouple over a year ago

barrow

We've not had a meet in several years now but we took time out to start a family and have come back with very different heads. We won't meet just to tick a box or because we think oh we've spoken to them for ages we should just go meet, we will meet the right people that suit us no matter how long it takes. Your time is valuable don't spend it with the wrong people x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Recently had a convo with a couple whose initial message was to ask why we hadn't had a meet in a year since joining, then declined us when we said we hadn't meet anyone as we simply hadn't found anyone we liked enough.

Is this an issue for the usual Fab members though? Cos, if so, we make as well stop using the site."

I wonder what would happen if a single male posted this ?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *eavenscentitCouple over a year ago

barnstaple

Jog on !!!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

On here its a big thing with some, if you haven't had a meet. To others not. Its there issues, not yours. Personally it wouldn't make a difference to us.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Finding another couple you both like and enjoy chatting with can take a long time, it wouldn't put us off chancing mailing and chancing a meet with you. We enjoy the social side first and wouldn't be offended if we were told that we weren't for you. We've yet to find a couple to take things further with and have been on and off the past 2 or so years. Hopefully you both find someone soon

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was unaware there was a time scale..di what you want to do.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is this an issue for the usual Fab members though? Cos, if so, we make as well stop using the site."

Yes it would be an issue for us .

We certainly wouldn't waste our time contacting a couple who couldn't find anyone they liked enough in over a year !

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *entleman JayMan over a year ago

Wakefield

It would ring alarm bells for me as from my experience those that have no meet veris in over a year are not genuine.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you've been on a year and no meets then I would wonder why and avoid I'm afraid

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you've been on a year and no meets then I would wonder why and avoid I'm afraid "

When unverified couples ask to go to the social we ask to talk to both of them on the phone, we have a number for them to ring and happy for them to hide there number, 95% of them never ring, so yes it's a problem, even if you are very fussy, you would have had at least a social in 2 years

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *Carver-Man over a year ago

Glasgow

It's a bummer that half the site's women and couples seem hellbent on slut-shaming and the other half seem to dismiss everyone else as prudes and timewasters!

OP, I wouldn't see anything long with the interval so long as you did have verifications - if anything, the lull tells me that you have other things in your life besides swinging, which suggests you'll be more interesting to chat with! I'm sure plenty of the kinds of people you're looking for will agree, but if you feel the need to you could always re-register and ask previous playmates to post new verifications.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *hoenixcouplexxCouple over a year ago

Leicestershire

We never met for over a year. We relocated 160 miles with work and had so much on during that time that we just didn't get time to meet. Having moved away from our support network for the children it takes planning now for us to play.

Don't sweat it atall. Although it would probably be an idea to go to a couple of socials so you can get a couple of meet veri's so people know you are actually real. Remember you don't have to fuck someone to verify each other

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ynecplCouple over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

The length of time is not a problem to us however it would mean we would proceed more slowly as quite often those profiles with a long period since last the last verification we have discovered to mean the lady is no longer playing.

OP you don't have to justify your reasons, just a the other couple don't have to have a reason for turning you down.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

People are way too judgmental and jump to conclusions way too quickly. My first profile on here around 3 years ago I met 3 unverified people so remained unverified for several months. Some people may join then hide their profile or not use it due to personal reasons so again, remain unverified. I also met a guy who had been on here for 3 years with no veris, he turned up on time and we have met a few more times since. Its really none of their business and if they're not interested because of it then so be it.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *onnie and JohnCouple over a year ago

WILTSHIRE

When I read some of the advice posts I do laugh, we all use this site to achieve different ends..

we find a profile we like arrange a meet somewhere, and take it from there..we are not interested reading verifications, exchanging photos, or ping pong messages. at the end of the day its the person you jump into bed with not the profile..connie x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *evaquitCouple over a year ago

Catthorpe

We'll be in the exact same situation in a few months. We plan on putting up a meet and see who knocks, at least that way we're attracting those that don't mind the time out.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Not a problem at all. Couples in particular have by definition twice as much to consider when arranging a meet and we all have busy lives. Wouldn't bother me.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *enard ArgenteMan over a year ago

London and France

There are those who think that "swinging" is some sort of religion, and that to be a "proper swinger" you must beat it all the time.

They don't understand that for many it's just an occasional thing.

Others think that the only place in the world, where there are any " swingers" is on this website. So if you don't use this site much, or find most of your sexual activity elsewhere , then they think you can't exist.

Some of us use the real world.

Don't worry about it.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *estmidscoupleCouple over a year ago

West Midlands

OP as we see you've been to Chameleons, you could have got the club to verify you for attending. We don't meet couples really, and generally prefer to meet verified guys but would take a chance on unverified occasionally. Good profile and pics, you may want to go back to Chams again and see how that works for you. In any event, the club WOULD verify you, good luck

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ilmissplumpyWoman over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Is this an issue for the usual Fab members though? Cos, if so, we make as well stop using the site."

You being exceptionally fussy may be if you arent even going as far as a social... However if you have done socials and the people didnt appeal then thats your call

Lmn x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My experience of unverified couples is

arrange a meet and suddenly the lady becomes ill and only he can meet or talk on the phone.

or when I say I want to talk to her, they stop messaging or block me

whats written on a lot of profiles is what single men think we want to read.

if your genuine get along to an organised social or back to a club and get meet verified,

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My experience of unverified couples is

arrange a meet and suddenly the lady becomes ill and only he can meet or talk on the phone.

or when I say I want to talk to her, they stop messaging or block me

whats written on a lot of profiles is what single men think we want to read.

if your genuine get along to an organised social or back to a club and get meet verified,

But there are lots of genuine couples as well

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Being unverified wouldn't put us off a couple but we would want to make sure your a couple through a social meet it other communications first.

As above, if you did want to meet people and get verified if important to you an organised social event in your area or going to clubs (like Chams) offer a great opportunity to do both and you never know who you will meet.

I (fem) personally prefer clubs etc as you get to see people as themselves not as a picture or a text conversation and people I've looked at and spoken to on here and not been sure about have been some of the nicest people we have met in person

Mr is more go with the flow and invite people round and see what happens.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"There are those who think that "swinging" is some sort of religion, and that to be a "proper swinger" you must beat it all the time.

They don't understand that for many it's just an occasional thing.

Some of us use the real world.

Don't worry about it.

This seems to best match our sentiments. Once in a while we figure "Hey, fancy seeing if we get a girl to join us?" so log in and have a look - maybe upload a new photo etc No different than "Hey, fancy trying out a cock ring" and popping into Anne Sunmers to see what we like. If the price is too high, we walk away until the next idea takes us.

This website serves as a way to keep and such activities out of our usual social life. We don't wish to mix this with existing friends for obvious reasons.

We're simply not interest in dedicating our lives to some kind of lifestyle. Too busy with other things to attend regular socials in a bid to get some loyalty card stamped just to make sure we still fit in on here.

Maybe this website is not the answer to getting what we mentioned in the first paragraph...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We would be very suspicious but the easiest way would be to arrange a meet at a club and if it's a no show you've still got a night at a club

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is this an issue for the usual Fab members though? Cos, if so, we make as well stop using the site.

I wonder what would happen if a single male posted this ?

People would either not give a shit, and if they did, it would be to talk down to him, likely whilst trying to assert an image of themselves having greater experience and importance to the swinging scene than him.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *dwalu2Couple over a year ago

Bristol

The people saying that having no meets for a year makes no difference are all already meet verified, so they are in a completely different situation from the OP.

Like it or not, people will see someone who has been here for a year or more with no meets as being a potential fake or time waster.

It's entirely up to them how they wish to be perceived, but there's no doubt that if they really want to get a meet, starting a new profile from scratch would improve their chances.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is this an issue for the usual Fab members though? Cos, if so, we make as well stop using the site.

I wonder what would happen if a single male posted this ?

I think it would be more of ... Leave the site then ... No one cares about you ...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The people saying that having no meets for a year makes no difference are all already meet verified, so they are in a completely different situation from the OP.

Like it or not, people will see someone who has been here for a year or more with no meets as being a potential fake or time waster.

It's entirely up to them how they wish to be perceived, but there's no doubt that if they really want to get a meet, starting a new profile from scratch would improve their chances."
no need for a new profile... They just need to pop on webcam or start meeting single guys

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/06/16 19:45:43]

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As a single bloke on here, I haven't had a meet in over a year, but that doesn't mean I'm not genuine. Some people (singles and couples) are lucky enough to get meets every week. For folks like me who don't do the club scene it does make it difficult to get vari's. Unfortunately, the people who have varified me in the past have either left the site, or made new profiles, so their vari's have gone from my profile. From personal experience, folk are much more likely to want to meet you if you have a fairly recent vari.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *all and ChainWoman over a year ago

Truro

1/ Had no meets at all.

2/ Had meets, but not off Fab

3/ Had meets, on Fab, but didn't get veri

4/ Had meets, on Fab, got veri, didn't show it.

5/ Not had meets, on Fab, got veri anyway.

6/ etc etc etc

How you use fab is up to you, how others use fab is up to them.

Speaking personally another site with a different scene has a social meet every month at a pub literally about 300 yards from our door.

If it had been a fab social you could pick up a dozen or so genuine veris every month.

Still wouldn't tell you shit about the member in question...

TL:DR

ohmigodshesuckslikeadysontreatthisonewithrespectboyssheisallmine etc

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *irty130Couple over a year ago

Bristol Area

We would definitely question how committed you would be to showing up at an arranged meet.

If you haven't decided on someone you like in all this time, you're possibly looking for something that's not there

, and we wouldn't waste our time waiting to see if you think we fit the bill.

Also, talking about getting a single girl in the same way as you would get a cockring?

Get yourselves to a social or a club and prove that you're active, and actually willing to leave the house, and not just sofa-swingers. (you don't even have to have sex with any people there if they don't come up to scratch, just TALK to people - we aren't cockrings!)

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic