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Masters
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"Says he cares. For the last 4 days I have felt like crap cos of him. Thought he was different." if you think someone doesn't care they probably don't. nobody should leave you feeling like crap though, it could be you just aren't compatible but whatever, trust your gut feelings. | |||
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"So a master don't make his sub feel like crap " Depends if that's thiers and the subs thing. Its like asking "whats a real man" Or whats a "real woman" There is no one answer | |||
"Says he cares. For the last 4 days I have felt like crap cos of him. Thought he was different." Any chance we can open up the tap on the drip feed of info a bit. Saves everyone going round in circles | |||
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"Says he cares. For the last 4 days I have felt like crap cos of him. Thought he was different." White knights we have a fair maiden in need. For this quest you will need flogger and ball gag | |||
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"A true Master will always have a devoted submissive!.. "Exactly | |||
"What is a proper master. " There's no rules on this... A master is simply so one who has honed their particular craft into an art... & they now posess the skills, knowledge, willingness and patients to pass on their earned experience... If you want to look up the man who defines what the word master means it's Miyamoto Musashi | |||
"A true Master will always have a devoted submissive!..
Exactly"This is a fallacy... A true master alters the space and time in their vicinity and they appear to have years where others have but a few seconds... Their decisions writhing the whirlwind of chaos are effective and effortless... And there willingness to face off against an equally mighty opponent is unwavering. | |||
"A true Master will always have a devoted submissive!..
Exactly
This is a fallacy... A true master alters the space and time in their vicinity and they appear to have years where others have but a few seconds...
Their decisions writhing the whirlwind of chaos are effective and effortless...
And there willingness to face off against an equally mighty opponent is unwavering. "So a true "Master" does not need a submissive? As he is so unwavering? | |||
"A true Master will always have a devoted submissive!..
Exactly
This is a fallacy... A true master alters the space and time in their vicinity and they appear to have years where others have but a few seconds...
Their decisions writhing the whirlwind of chaos are effective and effortless...
And there willingness to face off against an equally mighty opponent is unwavering.
So a true "Master" does not need a submissive? As he is so unwavering? "Cause he/she does not... Then they are a captive... What you own, eventually owns you... Mastery of a subject can't be defined by what people want it to be, it's simply knowledge and skills based... Everything else is opinion and personal preference. | |||
"A true Master will always have a devoted submissive!..
Exactly
This is a fallacy... A true master alters the space and time in their vicinity and they appear to have years where others have but a few seconds...
Their decisions writhing the whirlwind of chaos are effective and effortless...
And there willingness to face off against an equally mighty opponent is unwavering.
So a true "Master" does not need a submissive? As he is so unwavering?
Cause he/she does not... Then they are a captive...
What you own, eventually owns you...
Mastery of a subject can't be defined by what people want it to be, it's simply knowledge and skills based...
Everything else is opinion and personal preference. "So does this mean. ..in your eyes...that a Master is only as good as the sub who. ..quite often...devotes him/herself to them? | |||
"A true Master will always have a devoted submissive!..
Exactly
This is a fallacy... A true master alters the space and time in their vicinity and they appear to have years where others have but a few seconds...
Their decisions writhing the whirlwind of chaos are effective and effortless...
And there willingness to face off against an equally mighty opponent is unwavering.
So a true "Master" does not need a submissive? As he is so unwavering? "If a "Master" has a sub and they leave, say they move away or something, does the "Master" suddenly lose his skills and knowledge? Having a sub is not what makes a "Master". Plenty of abusers and dickheads have subs... So no, a "Master" does not need a sub. If, say, a pilot is made redundant, does s/he cease to be a pilot. Does s/he lose his skills and knowledge? Is having an aircraft to fly what makes a pilot a pilot? Or is it the knowledge and skill s/he possesses? | |||
"Says he cares. For the last 4 days I have felt like crap cos of him. Thought he was different." How has he made you feel like crap and I may be naive as I've only read those books and from comments on other threads, Masters and subs aren't like that. What I wanted to say is basically if you aren't happy can't you leave him, unless you are married to him, which will make things maybe more difficult. Apologies for the possible naivety of my post | |||
"A true Master will always have a devoted submissive!..
Exactly
This is a fallacy... A true master alters the space and time in their vicinity and they appear to have years where others have but a few seconds...
Their decisions writhing the whirlwind of chaos are effective and effortless...
And there willingness to face off against an equally mighty opponent is unwavering.
So a true "Master" does not need a submissive? As he is so unwavering?
Cause he/she does not... Then they are a captive...
What you own, eventually owns you...
Mastery of a subject can't be defined by what people want it to be, it's simply knowledge and skills based...
Everything else is opinion and personal preference.
So does this mean. ..in your eyes...that a Master is only as good as the sub who. ..quite often...devotes him/herself to them?
"Good question... Maybe so... In certain cases... If a sub is willing to be their masters muse, they they can enhance the ability of said master. This is symbiotic mastery... They also say that good subs make the best masters, so the sub may enhance their skills and alter their sexuality... It's not ridged... Their are many different types and I think we too often get stuck in the leather pants and cheap whips notion of what alternative lifestyles can be... You may have a guide, a partner, a trainer, a user, a humiliator or an owner or a plethora of others... There are many types... The issue is not trying to become something you are not. | |||
"A true Master will always have a devoted submissive!..
Exactly
This is a fallacy... A true master alters the space and time in their vicinity and they appear to have years where others have but a few seconds...
Their decisions writhing the whirlwind of chaos are effective and effortless...
And there willingness to face off against an equally mighty opponent is unwavering.
So a true "Master" does not need a submissive? As he is so unwavering?
Cause he/she does not... Then they are a captive...
What you own, eventually owns you...
Mastery of a subject can't be defined by what people want it to be, it's simply knowledge and skills based...
Everything else is opinion and personal preference.
So does this mean. ..in your eyes...that a Master is only as good as the sub who. ..quite often...devotes him/herself to them?
Good question...
Maybe so... In certain cases...
If a sub is willing to be their masters muse, they they can enhance the ability of said master.
This is symbiotic mastery...
They also say that good subs make the best masters, so the sub may enhance their skills and alter their sexuality...
It's not ridged...
Their are many different types and I think we too often get stuck in the leather pants and cheap whips notion of what alternative lifestyles can be...
You may have a guide, a partner, a trainer, a user, a humiliator or an owner or a plethora of others...
There are many types... The issue is not trying to become something you are not. "So...if you have a truly submissive nature mixed with the best Master in the world. ..the sub can suddenly dom that Master? | |||
"A true Master will always have a devoted submissive!..
Exactly
This is a fallacy... A true master alters the space and time in their vicinity and they appear to have years where others have but a few seconds...
Their decisions writhing the whirlwind of chaos are effective and effortless...
And there willingness to face off against an equally mighty opponent is unwavering.
So a true "Master" does not need a submissive? As he is so unwavering?
Cause he/she does not... Then they are a captive...
What you own, eventually owns you...
Mastery of a subject can't be defined by what people want it to be, it's simply knowledge and skills based...
Everything else is opinion and personal preference.
So does this mean. ..in your eyes...that a Master is only as good as the sub who. ..quite often...devotes him/herself to them?
Good question...
Maybe so... In certain cases...
If a sub is willing to be their masters muse, they they can enhance the ability of said master.
This is symbiotic mastery...
They also say that good subs make the best masters, so the sub may enhance their skills and alter their sexuality...
It's not ridged...
Their are many different types and I think we too often get stuck in the leather pants and cheap whips notion of what alternative lifestyles can be...
You may have a guide, a partner, a trainer, a user, a humiliator or an owner or a plethora of others...
There are many types... The issue is not trying to become something you are not.
So...if you have a truly submissive nature mixed with the best Master in the
world. ..the sub can suddenly dom that Master? "Probably not, but it's not unheard of, for individuals who can play and separate their many roles. But the master may teach the sub to behave like his quartermaster... And they may dominate their own pets... | |||
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"A true Master will always have a devoted submissive!..
Exactly
This is a fallacy... A true master alters the space and time in their vicinity and they appear to have years where others have but a few seconds...
Their decisions writhing the whirlwind of chaos are effective and effortless...
And there willingness to face off against an equally mighty opponent is unwavering.
So a true "Master" does not need a submissive? As he is so unwavering?
Cause he/she does not... Then they are a captive...
What you own, eventually owns you...
Mastery of a subject can't be defined by what people want it to be, it's simply knowledge and skills based...
Everything else is opinion and personal preference.
So does this mean. ..in your eyes...that a Master is only as good as the sub who. ..quite often...devotes him/herself to them?
Good question...
Maybe so... In certain cases...
If a sub is willing to be their masters muse, they they can enhance the ability of said master.
This is symbiotic mastery...
They also say that good subs make the best masters, so the sub may enhance their skills and alter their sexuality...
It's not ridged...
Their are many different types and I think we too often get stuck in the leather pants and cheap whips notion of what alternative lifestyles can be...
You may have a guide, a partner, a trainer, a user, a humiliator or an owner or a plethora of others...
There are many types... The issue is not trying to become something you are not.
So...if you have a truly submissive nature mixed with the best Master in the
world. ..the sub can suddenly dom that Master?
Probably not, but it's not unheard of, for individuals who can play and separate their many roles.
But the master may teach the sub to behave like his quartermaster... And they may dominate their own pets..."May I ask what you base your words on? | |||
"A true Master will always have a devoted submissive!..
Exactly
This is a fallacy... A true master alters the space and time in their vicinity and they appear to have years where others have but a few seconds...
Their decisions writhing the whirlwind of chaos are effective and effortless...
And there willingness to face off against an equally mighty opponent is unwavering.
So a true "Master" does not need a submissive? As he is so unwavering?
Cause he/she does not... Then they are a captive...
What you own, eventually owns you...
Mastery of a subject can't be defined by what people want it to be, it's simply knowledge and skills based...
Everything else is opinion and personal preference.
So does this mean. ..in your eyes...that a Master is only as good as the sub who. ..quite often...devotes him/herself to them?
Good question...
Maybe so... In certain cases...
If a sub is willing to be their masters muse, they they can enhance the ability of said master.
This is symbiotic mastery...
They also say that good subs make the best masters, so the sub may enhance their skills and alter their sexuality...
It's not ridged...
Their are many different types and I think we too often get stuck in the leather pants and cheap whips notion of what alternative lifestyles can be...
You may have a guide, a partner, a trainer, a user, a humiliator or an owner or a plethora of others...
There are many types... The issue is not trying to become something you are not.
So...if you have a truly submissive nature mixed with the best Master in the
world. ..the sub can suddenly dom that Master? "He's not the best Master in the world then. He could be the best switch but he's not a Master. | |||
"A true Master will always have a devoted submissive!..
Exactly
This is a fallacy... A true master alters the space and time in their vicinity and they appear to have years where others have but a few seconds...
Their decisions writhing the whirlwind of chaos are effective and effortless...
And there willingness to face off against an equally mighty opponent is unwavering.
So a true "Master" does not need a submissive? As he is so unwavering?
Cause he/she does not... Then they are a captive...
What you own, eventually owns you...
Mastery of a subject can't be defined by what people want it to be, it's simply knowledge and skills based...
Everything else is opinion and personal preference.
So does this mean. ..in your eyes...that a Master is only as good as the sub who. ..quite often...devotes him/herself to them?
Good question...
Maybe so... In certain cases...
If a sub is willing to be their masters muse, they they can enhance the ability of said master.
This is symbiotic mastery...
They also say that good subs make the best masters, so the sub may enhance their skills and alter their sexuality...
It's not ridged...
Their are many different types and I think we too often get stuck in the leather pants and cheap whips notion of what alternative lifestyles can be...
You may have a guide, a partner, a trainer, a user, a humiliator or an owner or a plethora of others...
There are many types... The issue is not trying to become something you are not.
So...if you have a truly submissive nature mixed with the best Master in the
world. ..the sub can suddenly dom that Master?
Probably not, but it's not unheard of, for individuals who can play and separate their many roles.
But the master may teach the sub to behave like his quartermaster... And they may dominate their own pets...
May I ask what you base your words on?"Some weird as shit places I used to hang out in LA! And I know myself... I don't feel comfortable in the traditional "master" role... If I want to play the dominating character it could be one of many, but I play the "trainer" best... | |||
"A true Master will always have a devoted submissive!..
Exactly
This is a fallacy... A true master alters the space and time in their vicinity and they appear to have years where others have but a few seconds...
Their decisions writhing the whirlwind of chaos are effective and effortless...
And there willingness to face off against an equally mighty opponent is unwavering.
So a true "Master" does not need a submissive? As he is so unwavering?
Cause he/she does not... Then they are a captive...
What you own, eventually owns you...
Mastery of a subject can't be defined by what people want it to be, it's simply knowledge and skills based...
Everything else is opinion and personal preference.
So does this mean. ..in your eyes...that a Master is only as good as the sub who. ..quite often...devotes him/herself to them?
Good question...
Maybe so... In certain cases...
If a sub is willing to be their masters muse, they they can enhance the ability of said master.
This is symbiotic mastery...
They also say that good subs make the best masters, so the sub may enhance their skills and alter their sexuality...
It's not ridged...
Their are many different types and I think we too often get stuck in the leather pants and cheap whips notion of what alternative lifestyles can be...
You may have a guide, a partner, a trainer, a user, a humiliator or an owner or a plethora of others...
There are many types... The issue is not trying to become something you are not.
So...if you have a truly submissive nature mixed with the best Master in the
world. ..the sub can suddenly dom that Master?
He's not the best Master in the world then.
He could be the best switch but he's not a Master."It was a question. ..tongue in cheek. ..as I actually agree with you. | |||
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"A master Subjective. On paper a master/Dom/daddy ect is a person who takes time and care to nurture his/her submissive. Gaining trust and respect. Reality all the above but will fuck anything that offers and then looks confused when his/her subs goes fuck you " Oh dear. | |||
"A true Master will always have a devoted submissive!..
Exactly
This is a fallacy... A true master alters the space and time in their vicinity and they appear to have years where others have but a few seconds...
Their decisions writhing the whirlwind of chaos are effective and effortless...
And there willingness to face off against an equally mighty opponent is unwavering.
So a true "Master" does not need a submissive? As he is so unwavering?
Cause he/she does not... Then they are a captive...
What you own, eventually owns you...
Mastery of a subject can't be defined by what people want it to be, it's simply knowledge and skills based...
Everything else is opinion and personal preference.
So does this mean. ..in your eyes...that a Master is only as good as the sub who. ..quite often...devotes him/herself to them?
Good question...
Maybe so... In certain cases...
If a sub is willing to be their masters muse, they they can enhance the ability of said master.
This is symbiotic mastery...
They also say that good subs make the best masters, so the sub may enhance their skills and alter their sexuality...
It's not ridged...
Their are many different types and I think we too often get stuck in the leather pants and cheap whips notion of what alternative lifestyles can be...
You may have a guide, a partner, a trainer, a user, a humiliator or an owner or a plethora of others...
There are many types... The issue is not trying to become something you are not.
So...if you have a truly submissive nature mixed with the best Master in the
world. ..the sub can suddenly dom that Master? "That's the whole dynamic. A true submissive gifts that because of the trust and respect she/he feels for their Dom. A Dom who takes it is no Dom at all. And as sub to turn tables is an act you could only do with full respect and trust | |||
"Any guy who makes a lady feel like crap isn't a Master or a Dom . Just a shit kicking hillbilly who doesn't like women . It is all consentual . If the womans needs aren't tended to , you're just a wannabe who read that shite book . "I couldn't agree more | |||
"A master Subjective. On paper a master/Dom/daddy ect is a person who takes time and care to nurture his/her submissive. Gaining trust and respect. Reality all the above but will fuck anything that offers and then looks confused when his/her subs goes fuck you " Probs right... I think this has to do with realities too. It takes time to create an environment and an atmosphere... A master out of scene is like Micky Mouse wearing a suicide vest at Disneyland! And both party's often have little time and just want to see each other... Give space to allow creativity to flourish. | |||
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" Their are many different types and I think we too often get stuck in the leather pants and cheap whips notion of what alternative lifestyles can be... You may have a guide, a partner, a trainer, a user, a humiliator or an owner or a plethora of others... There are many types... The issue is not trying to become something you are not. " Well said. I believe the porn industry's version of a Master and a Mistress has a lot to do with how people view D/s relationships. Don't get me started on 50 shades of sh*te .... | |||
"Says he cares. For the last 4 days I have felt like crap cos of him. Thought he was different." 1/ you realise just asking such a question invites world & dog to join the party to tell you what a true master is, and the definitions they give will usually fit themselves. 2/ what makes you think you are a true sub? Again an invite to world & dog to define what a true sub is, and the definitions will usually fit themselves. 3/ you say you have felt like crap because of him? why? it is one thing to look at something you have done, even if it takes some one else to point it out to you, and feel like crap... but it is quite another thing to feel like crap because of someone else and their actions or inactions.. why do you allow this. 4/ thought he was different.. sounds like you are selecting the same types over and over, take a step back and find someone you trust to discuss your selection criteria with PREAMBLE OVER That lot might seem hurtful, it is not meant to be, the problem is everyone seems to treat the master / sub thing (oh noes, I did not use a capitalised M for master) as an entity in itself, a fungible commodity, any master will suit any sub. In my experience if you are genuinely a true master or a true sub then finding your ying / yang is a far tougher task than an ordinary vanilla male / female finding each other and making it work, and lets face it, there is ample proof right here on fab that one thing that is more likely to be true than anything else about all fabbers is none of them find everyone else on the site a suitable fuck. If it feels like crap every time you are doing it, something is wrong, until you identify what that thing is, you need to stop doing it with immediate effect. Ultimately you are NOT looking for labels, you are looking for something that makes you feel good and happy and fulfilled and special, you will not find that by looking at or looking for labels. We could describe our relationship as 24/7 TPE, dom and owned slave, master and collared sub, depending on the listener each might give the most accurate message, but if you think for one instant that any of those labels gives you the slightest insight into what it is actually like for us behind closed doors, they are just "less wrong" than calling it a vanilla relationshit etc etc. Be more zen, stop seeking the destination, start enjoying each step of the journey, and if each step does not give you peace, choose a different step and a different companion. | |||
"A guy who doms a lady but takes good care of her n makes her cum lots . But there's probably lots of different explanations " Cums lots ??  | |||
"When messaging, always address them with as Master and Mistress, Sir or Madam, Boss or any other term they require, but with the capital letter as respect. You will be sub, slave, object or anything else they deem fit to call you, but never with a capital letter. " When anyone, besides my sub, addresses me as Mistress - alarm bells ring. | |||
"Says he cares. For the last 4 days I have felt like crap cos of him. Thought he was different. 1/ you realise just asking such a question invites world & dog to join the party to tell you what a true master is, and the definitions they give will usually fit themselves. 2/ what makes you think you are a true sub? Again an invite to world & dog to define what a true sub is, and the definitions will usually fit themselves. 3/ you say you have felt like crap because of him? why? it is one thing to look at something you have done, even if it takes some one else to point it out to you, and feel like crap... but it is quite another thing to feel like crap because of someone else and their actions or inactions.. why do you allow this. 4/ thought he was different.. sounds like you are selecting the same types over and over, take a step back and find someone you trust to discuss your selection criteria with PREAMBLE OVER That lot might seem hurtful, it is not meant to be, the problem is everyone seems to treat the master / sub thing (oh noes, I did not use a capitalised M for master) as an entity in itself, a fungible commodity, any master will suit any sub. In my experience if you are genuinely a true master or a true sub then finding your ying / yang is a far tougher task than an ordinary vanilla male / female finding each other and making it work, and lets face it, there is ample proof right here on fab that one thing that is more likely to be true than anything else about all fabbers is none of them find everyone else on the site a suitable fuck. If it feels like crap every time you are doing it, something is wrong, until you identify what that thing is, you need to stop doing it with immediate effect. Ultimately you are NOT looking for labels, you are looking for something that makes you feel good and happy and fulfilled and special, you will not find that by looking at or looking for labels. We could describe our relationship as 24/7 TPE, dom and owned slave, master and collared sub, depending on the listener each might give the most accurate message, but if you think for one instant that any of those labels gives you the slightest insight into what it is actually like for us behind closed doors, they are just "less wrong" than calling it a vanilla relationshit etc etc. Be more zen, stop seeking the destination, start enjoying each step of the journey, and if each step does not give you peace, choose a different step and a different companion."  | |||
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"Don't worry no doubt some überdom will be along shortly to tell you about the one twue way (there's) and that your doing it all wrong and if you are a twue sub you will do exactly as they say .the fact that you have asked the question shoes you recognise that something isn't right with your dynamic . You shouldn't be feeling like crap at all unless that is your thing your dynamic rather you should have that sence of uphoria from your time together that thing in your head that makes you crave him and your time together .did you have those feelings of uphoria at all or just felt like crap from the start ? " | |||
"When messaging, always address them with as Master and Mistress, Sir or Madam, Boss or any other term they require, but with the capital letter as respect. You will be sub, slave, object or anything else they deem fit to call you, but never with a capital letter. " Yes.This is just for starters. The rest bring a whole new experience in a D/s lifestyle. X | |||
"So a master don't make his sub feel like crap " No man should. A Dom should not do that either. The Dom/Sub relationship is a two way street...and makes both feel good under agreed terms/rules etc. The name for a man who makes his lady feel crap?..... that is an abuser....simples! | |||
"So a master don't make his sub feel like crap " You know the answer to that, don't you. | |||
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"What defines a Master? Usually someone that's declared themselves Master and has a submissive or slave that's prepared to address them as such. Generally speaking not many have been awarded that title by other suitable qualified people in the scene. 99 times out of a 100 it's just a form of address and the person being addressed has done no more than any other responsible Dominant person in the scene that has some form of relationship. " Isn't the most important thing how the sub feels towards the said Master...of it feels right to the sub...if it meets the subs needs? In my opinion at least! | |||
"Says he cares. For the last 4 days I have felt like crap cos of him. Thought he was different." Sorry didnt read all the posts as I an sure everyone has their own interpretation of the Master/sub thing!!! From your above post and your question OP. In my opinion only you can decide what a proper master is. What a proper master is to me, will or might be completely different from you. As we have different personalities and needs. And so will the masters we choose to submit to. If you feel crap because of him. And you feel the need to post on here. I would defo chat with him or decide if you would be happier with another master. Define what you want in this relationship. Again only you can decide what a proper master is. And if you feel this bad, in my opinion he's not a good master. You should also be able to be able to give him feedback on how you feel. It's not a one way relationship. Good luck OP x | |||
"Says he cares. For the last 4 days I have felt like crap cos of him. Thought he was different. 1/ you realise just asking such a question invites world & dog to join the party to tell you what a true master is, and the definitions they give will usually fit themselves. Brilliant post 2/ what makes you think you are a true sub? Again an invite to world & dog to define what a true sub is, and the definitions will usually fit themselves. 3/ you say you have felt like crap because of him? why? it is one thing to look at something you have done, even if it takes some one else to point it out to you, and feel like crap... but it is quite another thing to feel like crap because of someone else and their actions or inactions.. why do you allow this. 4/ thought he was different.. sounds like you are selecting the same types over and over, take a step back and find someone you trust to discuss your selection criteria with PREAMBLE OVER That lot might seem hurtful, it is not meant to be, the problem is everyone seems to treat the master / sub thing (oh noes, I did not use a capitalised M for master) as an entity in itself, a fungible commodity, any master will suit any sub. In my experience if you are genuinely a true master or a true sub then finding your ying / yang is a far tougher task than an ordinary vanilla male / female finding each other and making it work, and lets face it, there is ample proof right here on fab that one thing that is more likely to be true than anything else about all fabbers is none of them find everyone else on the site a suitable fuck. If it feels like crap every time you are doing it, something is wrong, until you identify what that thing is, you need to stop doing it with immediate effect. Ultimately you are NOT looking for labels, you are looking for something that makes you feel good and happy and fulfilled and special, you will not find that by looking at or looking for labels. We could describe our relationship as 24/7 TPE, dom and owned slave, master and collared sub, depending on the listener each might give the most accurate message, but if you think for one instant that any of those labels gives you the slightest insight into what it is actually like for us behind closed doors, they are just "less wrong" than calling it a vanilla relationshit etc etc. Be more zen, stop seeking the destination, start enjoying each step of the journey, and if each step does not give you peace, choose a different step and a different companion." | |||
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"What defines a Master? Usually someone that's declared themselves Master and has a submissive or slave that's prepared to address them as such. Generally speaking not many have been awarded that title by other suitable qualified people in the scene. 99 times out of a 100 it's just a form of address and the person being addressed has done no more than any other responsible Dominant person in the scene that has some form of relationship. Isn't the most important thing how the sub feels towards the said Master...of it feels right to the sub...if it meets the subs needs? In my opinion at least!" Absolutely if both parties want it and it suits, then sure. I was merely pointing out that usually 'Master' would be a form of address for someone that has achieved greatness in their field. However in the bdsm scene or when practicing D/s that's usually not the case. Usually it is merely because people want to use that term. | |||
"What defines a Master? Usually someone that's declared themselves Master and has a submissive or slave that's prepared to address them as such. Generally speaking not many have been awarded that title by other suitable qualified people in the scene. 99 times out of a 100 it's just a form of address and the person being addressed has done no more than any other responsible Dominant person in the scene that has some form of relationship. Isn't the most important thing how the sub feels towards the said Master...of it feels right to the sub...if it meets the subs needs? In my opinion at least! Absolutely if both parties want it and it suits, then sure. I was merely pointing out that usually 'Master' would be a form of address for someone that has achieved greatness in their field. However in the bdsm scene or when practicing D/s that's usually not the case. Usually it is merely because people want to use that term." The wannabes! ! | |||
"What defines a Master? Usually someone that's declared themselves Master and has a submissive or slave that's prepared to address them as such. Generally speaking not many have been awarded that title by other suitable qualified people in the scene. 99 times out of a 100 it's just a form of address and the person being addressed has done no more than any other responsible Dominant person in the scene that has some form of relationship. " Do they have to go in front of a board and be assessed or join up to a master and sub club? | |||
"What defines a Master? Usually someone that's declared themselves Master and has a submissive or slave that's prepared to address them as such. Generally speaking not many have been awarded that title by other suitable qualified people in the scene. 99 times out of a 100 it's just a form of address and the person being addressed has done no more than any other responsible Dominant person in the scene that has some form of relationship. Do they have to go in front of a board and be assessed or join up to a master and sub club?" No they can be a complete idiot that treats their sub like shit and still claim to be a Master. | |||
"What defines a Master? Usually someone that's declared themselves Master and has a submissive or slave that's prepared to address them as such. Generally speaking not many have been awarded that title by other suitable qualified people in the scene. 99 times out of a 100 it's just a form of address and the person being addressed has done no more than any other responsible Dominant person in the scene that has some form of relationship. Do they have to go in front of a board and be assessed or join up to a master and sub club? No they can be a complete idiot that treats their sub like shit and still claim to be a Master." As proven by this very thread. | |||
"What defines a Master? Usually someone that's declared themselves Master and has a submissive or slave that's prepared to address them as such. Generally speaking not many have been awarded that title by other suitable qualified people in the scene. 99 times out of a 100 it's just a form of address and the person being addressed has done no more than any other responsible Dominant person in the scene that has some form of relationship. Do they have to go in front of a board and be assessed or join up to a master and sub club? No they can be a complete idiot that treats their sub like shit and still claim to be a Master. As proven by this very thread." It hasn't been proven by this thread.... The OP has hardly stated her case regarding what she believes her mistreatment to be. Nor is there anything or anyone stopping anybody to declare themselves a master. It's possible the OP is being treated in a manner that most subs would recognise as "correct" but she doesn't like it? Maybe she isn't a true sub! | |||
"What defines a Master? Usually someone that's declared themselves Master and has a submissive or slave that's prepared to address them as such. Generally speaking not many have been awarded that title by other suitable qualified people in the scene. 99 times out of a 100 it's just a form of address and the person being addressed has done no more than any other responsible Dominant person in the scene that has some form of relationship. Do they have to go in front of a board and be assessed or join up to a master and sub club? No they can be a complete idiot that treats their sub like shit and still claim to be a Master. As proven by this very thread. It hasn't been proven by this thread.... The OP has hardly stated her case regarding what she believes her mistreatment to be. Nor is there anything or anyone stopping anybody to declare themselves a master. It's possible the OP is being treated in a manner that most subs would recognise as "correct" but she doesn't like it? Maybe she isn't a true sub!" Fair point. I guess until we know the nature of the issue then that will remain a mystery. I find it suprising that a knowledgeable, respectful Dominant would get themselves in a position where their sub is posting about them on a forum though. Each to their own. I only commented because I was bored lol | |||
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"What defines a Master? Usually someone that's declared themselves Master and has a submissive or slave that's prepared to address them as such. Generally speaking not many have been awarded that title by other suitable qualified people in the scene. 99 times out of a 100 it's just a form of address and the person being addressed has done no more than any other responsible Dominant person in the scene that has some form of relationship. Do they have to go in front of a board and be assessed or join up to a master and sub club? No they can be a complete idiot that treats their sub like shit and still claim to be a Master. As proven by this very thread. It hasn't been proven by this thread.... The OP has hardly stated her case regarding what she believes her mistreatment to be. Nor is there anything or anyone stopping anybody to declare themselves a master. It's possible the OP is being treated in a manner that most subs would recognise as "correct" but she doesn't like it? Maybe she isn't a true sub! Fair point. I guess until we know the nature of the issue then that will remain a mystery. I find it suprising that a knowledgeable, respectful Dominant would get themselves in a position where their sub is posting about them on a forum though. Each to their own. I only commented because I was bored lol" Same here and making the point that we no nothing about the OPs treatment nor if there was a standard whether the 'master' would meet it. | |||
"A master is usually the dominant in a Master and slave dynamic. Or as someone else said, an expert in his kinky field. I don't meet that many masters on the scene. It has been my experience that newbies to BDSM adopt the moniker Master without a clue of what it means. Couldn't agree more. I'm lucky to have an amazing Mistress. A true d/s Every time I see someone commenting about a 'true' sub it makes me shudder. Regardless of your dynamic, you shouldn't feel like crap for four days. Even if it's unintentional from your dominant, you need to speak to him and work out why you feel like that and what can be done to fix it. At the end of the day, it's all about fun and pleasure and it's supposed to be a positive experience if not a challenging one. " I couldn't agree more. I'm lucky enough to have an amazing Mistress. A true D/s relationship is about mutual pleasure . | |||
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"What is a proper master. " Is it Italian for Propmaster? Or it could be Yoda/Darth Vader. Ask 100 different S/D people what a proper master is, you'll get 100 different answers and a fair percentage of them will be vacuous psychobabble of the highest order. In truth, your S/D relationship should be as you both want it, so it enhances your relationship as a S/D and thereby your life in general. There are no rules other than those you want to make. If it fails in either of those things, then it isn't worth pursuing. What a dom thinks a sub wants and what a sub actually needs are often two completely different things and sadly, because someone assumes the role of a dom, then can sometimes (infrequently I would hope) believe they have the right to misuse that gift to show their dominance. People that do this, are less dominant, more ignorant, and entirely focused on their own needs, not that of their sub. If that's what he's doing - then show your a true submissive - and bin him and find a dom who understands you and what you need clearly and can offer that to you with no strings. It will take time to build that up but it will probably be worth it in the long run. | |||
"What defines a Master? Usually someone that's declared themselves Master and has a submissive or slave that's prepared to address them as such. Generally speaking not many have been awarded that title by other suitable qualified people in the scene. 99 times out of a 100 it's just a form of address and the person being addressed has done no more than any other responsible Dominant person in the scene that has some form of relationship. Do they have to go in front of a board and be assessed or join up to a master and sub club? No they can be a complete idiot that treats their sub like shit and still claim to be a Master. As proven by this very thread. It hasn't been proven by this thread.... The OP has hardly stated her case regarding what she believes her mistreatment to be. Nor is there anything or anyone stopping anybody to declare themselves a master. It's possible the OP is being treated in a manner that most subs would recognise as "correct" but she doesn't like it? Maybe she isn't a true sub! Fair point. I guess until we know the nature of the issue then that will remain a mystery. I find it suprising that a knowledgeable, respectful Dominant would get themselves in a position where their sub is posting about them on a forum though. Each to their own. I only commented because I was bored lol Same here and making the point that we no nothing about the OPs treatment nor if there was a standard whether the 'master' would meet it." From what ive read she has been asked 3 or 4 times what she meant and hasnt replied so im wondering if hes found the thread and punished her for doing so  | |||
"What is a proper master. " We have a master and slave relationship and a proper master is someone who- Is firm with his slave Rewards and punishes as needed Has rules set in place to follow Has full trust And most of all treats the slave well | |||
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"What is a proper master. " a true master is devoted to his/her sub taking them to their limits and expanding then | |||
" People in the fetish world are moving from SACK to PRICK personal responsible informed kink i.e know what you are getting into before you start." I'm not the least bit surprised you got shit on "the other site" for daring to question definitions... the "scene" is largely (in my opinion and experience) about self-validations and conformity within an allegedly no-conformist sect. Sen it play itself out in exactly the same ways with exactly the same endings and fragmentations and re-coalescing as a "new and improved" scene elsewhere, last time I watched it was the T***s stuff and by then it was just a boring soap opera. I've found an incredible amount of common ground between the scene and spammers, sure, they are in it for some buck and to be big fish in a small pond, but mostly the corollaries with the rules of spammers reign supreme. If you substitute relavent words, dom / sub / scene / play / valiation etc etc etc it makes chilling reading, cap fits etc. Rule #0: Spam is theft. Angel's Commentary: XXXXers believe it's okay to steal a little bit from each person on the SCENE at once. Rule #1: Spammers lie. Russel's Admonition: Always assume that there is a measurable chance that the entity you are dealing with is a XXXXer. Lexical Contradiction: XXXXers will redefine any term in order to disguise their abuse of HUMAN resources. Sharp's Corollary: XXXXers attempt to re-define "XXXXing" as that which they do not do. Finnell's Corollary: XXXXers define "remove" as "validate." Rule #2: If a XXXXer seems to be telling the truth, see Rule #1. Crissman's Corollary: A XXXXer, when caught, blames his victims. Moore's Corollary: XXXXers' lies are seldom questioned by mainstream media. Rule #3: XXXXers are stupid. Krueger's Corollary: XXXXer lies are really stupid. Pickett's Commentary: XXXXer lies are boring. Russell's Corollary: Never underestimate the stupidity of XXXXers. Spinosa's Corollary: XXXXers assume everybody is more stupid than themselves. XXXXer's Standard of Discourse: Threats and intimidation trump facts and logic. I defy anyone who has been around the scene a decade or more to BOTH be 100% honest and ALSO deny that they have personally seen every single instance of the above, eg "A bad / fake / wannabe master, when caught out, blames his victims for not being true subs" | |||
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"The feilds will be well fertilised today" | |||
"A guy who doms a lady but takes good care of her n makes her cum lots . But there's probably lots of different explanations " Making someone cum has no bearing on being a good master. | |||
"When messaging, always address them with as Master and Mistress, Sir or Madam, Boss or any other term they require, but with the capital letter as respect. You will be sub, slave, object or anything else they deem fit to call you, but never with a capital letter. " Only if they are YOUR master. Otherwise they get only the same respect I would afford anyone else. | |||
"When messaging, always address them with as Master and Mistress, Sir or Madam, Boss or any other term they require, but with the capital letter as respect. You will be sub, slave, object or anything else they deem fit to call you, but never with a capital letter. When anyone, besides my sub, addresses me as Mistress - alarm bells ring. " | |||
"The feilds will be well fertilised today" | |||
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"A master is a Dominant. J is my Dom and before we got together we have a contract of our soft and hard limits and what we both expect from eachother. Yes J is very dominant, rough and punishes me when I deserve it but he is also the most caring guy I've ever known. After a play he will curl me in a blanket and cuddle me, soothe me if I'm sore, bring me ice cream and generally just be of a comfort especially if I've been harshly punished. A Dom / master should NEVER make you feel like crap. Go find someone better hunny "Blooming heck you're only 19,I don't think I even knew anything about dom/sub at that age,to be fair I still don't | |||
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"A master is a Dominant. J is my Dom and before we got together we have a contract of our soft and hard limits and what we both expect from eachother. Yes J is very dominant, rough and punishes me when I deserve it but he is also the most caring guy I've ever known. After a play he will curl me in a blanket and cuddle me, soothe me if I'm sore, bring me ice cream and generally just be of a comfort especially if I've been harshly punished. A Dom / master should NEVER make you feel like crap. Go find someone better hunny "I'm sorry but after been in an abusive relationship, my partner would treat me like a queen after beating the shit out of me.......I don't understand this master/sub thing, maybe because of the relationship I was in. But this post just brought back some very unpleasant memories, and your age does concern me too. If you get you're sexual kicks from it? All good, I just find it hard to understand. | |||
"A master is a Dominant. J is my Dom and before we got together we have a contract of our soft and hard limits and what we both expect from eachother. Yes J is very dominant, rough and punishes me when I deserve it but he is also the most caring guy I've ever known. After a play he will curl me in a blanket and cuddle me, soothe me if I'm sore, bring me ice cream and generally just be of a comfort especially if I've been harshly punished. A Dom / master should NEVER make you feel like crap. Go find someone better hunny
I'm sorry but after been in an abusive relationship, my partner would treat me like a queen after beating the shit out of me.......I don't understand this master/sub thing, maybe because of the relationship I was in. But this post just brought back some very unpleasant memories, and your age does concern me too. If you get you're sexual kicks from it? All good, I just find it hard to understand. "The two are not the same at all. | |||
"A master is a Dominant. J is my Dom and before we got together we have a contract of our soft and hard limits and what we both expect from eachother. Yes J is very dominant, rough and punishes me when I deserve it but he is also the most caring guy I've ever known. After a play he will curl me in a blanket and cuddle me, soothe me if I'm sore, bring me ice cream and generally just be of a comfort especially if I've been harshly punished. A Dom / master should NEVER make you feel like crap. Go find someone better hunny
I'm sorry but after been in an abusive relationship, my partner would treat me like a queen after beating the shit out of me.......I don't understand this master/sub thing, maybe because of the relationship I was in. But this post just brought back some very unpleasant memories, and your age does concern me too. If you get you're sexual kicks from it? All good, I just find it hard to understand. "difference is she/he enjoys the punishment and wants that, has consented to it and it's likely they agreed beforehand what the punishment(s) will be...so it's all consensual. but yes it can seem similar to abusive relationships, except the people in it want that and are truly cared for and not just left feeling like wtf just happened... sadism does cross into BDSM and is the S of that, just the masochists (M) want this. | |||
"A master is a Dominant. J is my Dom and before we got together we have a contract of our soft and hard limits and what we both expect from eachother. Yes J is very dominant, rough and punishes me when I deserve it but he is also the most caring guy I've ever known. After a play he will curl me in a blanket and cuddle me, soothe me if I'm sore, bring me ice cream and generally just be of a comfort especially if I've been harshly punished. A Dom / master should NEVER make you feel like crap. Go find someone better hunny
I'm sorry but after been in an abusive relationship, my partner would treat me like a queen after beating the shit out of me.......I don't understand this master/sub thing, maybe because of the relationship I was in. But this post just brought back some very unpleasant memories, and your age does concern me too. If you get you're sexual kicks from it? All good, I just find it hard to understand.
difference is she/he enjoys the punishment and wants that, has consented to it and it's likely they agreed beforehand what the punishment(s) will be...so it's all consensual.
but yes it can seem similar to abusive relationships, except the people in it want that and are truly cared for and not just left feeling like wtf just happened...
sadism does cross into BDSM and is the S of that, just the masochists (M) want this."Thanks for that, I can sort of understand, but would hate for any woman to be in an abusive relationship claiming she was a sub. Obviously it's my personal history, affecting my views. | |||
"A master is a Dominant. J is my Dom and before we got together we have a contract of our soft and hard limits and what we both expect from eachother. Yes J is very dominant, rough and punishes me when I deserve it but he is also the most caring guy I've ever known. After a play he will curl me in a blanket and cuddle me, soothe me if I'm sore, bring me ice cream and generally just be of a comfort especially if I've been harshly punished. A Dom / master should NEVER make you feel like crap. Go find someone better hunny
I'm sorry but after been in an abusive relationship, my partner would treat me like a queen after beating the shit out of me.......I don't understand this master/sub thing, maybe because of the relationship I was in. But this post just brought back some very unpleasant memories, and your age does concern me too. If you get you're sexual kicks from it? All good, I just find it hard to understand.
difference is she/he enjoys the punishment and wants that, has consented to it and it's likely they agreed beforehand what the punishment(s) will be...so it's all consensual.
but yes it can seem similar to abusive relationships, except the people in it want that and are truly cared for and not just left feeling like wtf just happened...
sadism does cross into BDSM and is the S of that, just the masochists (M) want this.
Thanks for that, I can sort of understand, but would hate for any woman to be in an abusive relationship claiming she was a sub. Obviously it's my personal history, affecting my views. "same here actually, i've been in abusive relationships and didn't understand why anyone would be into humiliation and i struggled with my ex being into that...we did a lot of talking and me asking him loads before i felt comfortable. if the submission is not forced then it's not abuse basically. although there are people who say they want forced stuff but there again you are only forcing them to do what they want to do, not sure it's even forced really. there are people who do get off on being properly abused, not sure what to make of them tbh and it's not something i would be interested in so i've never looked into that. | |||
"Any guy who makes a lady feel like crap isn't a Master or a Dom . Just a shit kicking hillbilly who doesn't like women . It is all consentual . If the womans needs aren't tended to , you're just a wannabe who read that shite book . " | |||
"A male who is an Alpha, a tutor who knows how to teach, but mainly a male who has enough confidence in himself to understand that, in many "Top & Bottom" play sessions . . it is the Submissive who has the more powerful role. " | |||
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"So,a Master has to inflict some kind of physical pain or abuse to be a real Master and the sub has to take it to be a real sub,if he's nice to her afterwards? " No not at all.its not all about pain. The power play can be incredible subtle. | |||
"So,a Master has to inflict some kind of physical pain or abuse to be a real Master and the sub has to take it to be a real sub,if he's nice to her afterwards? " Majority of M/s I know there is no pain involved at all. It's the power difference rather than pain. | |||
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"So a master don't make his sub feel like crap " 1) if you are a sub do you have his permission to post this message? If you do not then maybe that is part of the problem. If you have permission then that is am entirely strange relationship 2) does he always make you feel like crap or is it only when you stray from the path? If it is only when you stray then possibly you subconsciously like feeling like crap. Otherwise he may be pushing your boundaries to see how much he can mould you. 3) if it's making you feel that bad then get out of the relationship. There is a general misconception that all the power belongs to the Master. This is however false. Submission cannot be forced upon another. The sub has to be willing to submit and if put in a situation you are uncomfortable with, talk about it after so it does not happen again. If it does Walk | |||
"Says he cares. For the last 4 days I have felt like crap cos of him. Thought he was different. 1/ you realise just asking such a question invites world & dog to join the party to tell you what a true master is, and the definitions they give will usually fit themselves. 2/ what makes you think you are a true sub? Again an invite to world & dog to define what a true sub is, and the definitions will usually fit themselves. 3/ you say you have felt like crap because of him? why? it is one thing to look at something you have done, even if it takes some one else to point it out to you, and feel like crap... but it is quite another thing to feel like crap because of someone else and their actions or inactions.. why do you allow this. 4/ thought he was different.. sounds like you are selecting the same types over and over, take a step back and find someone you trust to discuss your selection criteria with PREAMBLE OVER That lot might seem hurtful, it is not meant to be, the problem is everyone seems to treat the master / sub thing (oh noes, I did not use a capitalised M for master) as an entity in itself, a fungible commodity, any master will suit any sub. In my experience if you are genuinely a true master or a true sub then finding your ying / yang is a far tougher task than an ordinary vanilla male / female finding each other and making it work, and lets face it, there is ample proof right here on fab that one thing that is more likely to be true than anything else about all fabbers is none of them find everyone else on the site a suitable fuck. If it feels like crap every time you are doing it, something is wrong, until you identify what that thing is, you need to stop doing it with immediate effect. Ultimately you are NOT looking for labels, you are looking for something that makes you feel good and happy and fulfilled and special, you will not find that by looking at or looking for labels. We could describe our relationship as 24/7 TPE, dom and owned slave, master and collared sub, depending on the listener each might give the most accurate message, but if you think for one instant that any of those labels gives you the slightest insight into what it is actually like for us behind closed doors, they are just "less wrong" than calling it a vanilla relationshit etc etc. Be more zen, stop seeking the destination, start enjoying each step of the journey, and if each step does not give you peace, choose a different step and a different companion." As someone who thinks they might be an ok Dom I think this response is the closest to true I've read in this thread. I'd also say to Nawty-Max, D/s or Master/slave relationships are just that-relationships, so both have to be happy. It's a two way street and the only rule is that is no rule about 'works' - I think it's different for all. That said, he should lower your esteem OP, he should increase it! | |||
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"A male who is an Alpha, a tutor who knows how to teach, but mainly a male who has enough confidence in himself to understand that, in many "Top & Bottom" play sessions . . it is the Submissive who has the more powerful role. "There is NO power in the d/s relationship (and I have no problem using the small "d"). Both are in a symbiotic relationship of mutual dependancy. They own each other, they both take the lead in certain way and circumstances.... Anyone who says that the "sub" has the power has never met a truly powerful being. I'm firmly of the belief those with that tangible aura of power only try to dominate other alphas... And may face the prospect of losing themselves... | |||
"The semantics have made me smile a tad. Get lost when the word fun/enjoyment are not fitted into the sentence Hey i must be a wanna be..... "You can tell exactly how much time somome spends chatting online and fantasising by how many bizzarely pedantic rules about ever tinier things. | |||
"So,a Master has to inflict some kind of physical pain or abuse to be a real Master and the sub has to take it to be a real sub,if he's nice to her afterwards? " Not all dom/sub relationships are sadomasochistic | |||
Also isn't the Masters golf tournament on? Must be lots of Masters there!
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"The semantics have made me smile a tad. Get lost when the word fun/enjoyment are not fitted into the sentence Hey i must be a wanna be.....
You can tell exactly how much time somome spends chatting online and fantasising by how many bizzarely pedantic rules about ever tinier things.
"I don't like rules or people who think we have to abide by them to fit into their ideals. | |||
"A guy who doms a lady but takes good care of her n makes her cum lots . But there's probably lots of different explanations " Certainly not this! | |||
